This morning, I saw a rainbow. Today's going to be a great day! I thought.

This morning, I nearly froze my ass off walking to the train station.

This morning, when I was gona enter the train, I slipped, knocked my foot on something hard, and nearly fell backwards. The next time I looked at my legs, my left toe was swimming in a pool of blood.

This morning, I bought my usual Latte with one sugar from the Coffee Stand at the train station. You have a good day darl!, the lady behind the counter had said, and that was all it took to brighten me up, ease the pain off my bleeding toe.

This morning, the train got delayed and I was 15 minutes late for lecture.

This morning, I spent an hour in the clinic, just to get my toe bandaged. The nurse slapped on 2 white strips to make sure the skin stays in place until it grows back. Then she covered my toe with a large waterproof band aid. It looks like your wrapping food with plastic wrap, I had joked.

This morning, I was considering whether I should change my elective. Instead of Typography, I want to do something that's not design-related, like Japanese, Spanish, or maybe French.

This morning, the guys at the Malaysian Club booth sprayed Nada with the free Max Cola we got because today is his birthday.

This afternoon, we all had lunch at the Chinese Restaurant right outside uni.

This afternoon, I took the train to the city with Nada and Herman, they're alot of fun. We laughed over the silliness of Bollywood movies and how I paid $10 (the joining fee of the Malaysian Club) just to get a goodie bag filled with advertisement pamphlets.

Late afternoon, I met up with Kar Mun and we went to watch a movie. I waited for her at Borders and she, for me at the cinema. Miscommunication lol.

We both went to Smiggles and went totally crazy over their cool stationery. At the end we each bought a bendable plastic ruler cuz the others were too expensive.

Definitely, Maybe is really good. I dare say it's worth my every penny, and I'm sure Kar Mun will agree. It'll be out in Malaysia this April.

This evening, I nearly froze my ass of walking home.

This evening, I had fried rice and tomato soup for dinner.


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As boring as my day may seem, I like it when there's a routine in life, my life. Normality may be uninteresting, but because of it, we're able to discover the little pleasures in life, simple but sweet.

Today went quite well for a first day of uni after 3 months of brain rusting. I almost forgot how being the only one with a different accent in a class which consists of 60 student felt like. You'd think that after one year I'll finally get used to the whole thing, but I guess it's not easy to get rid of that consciousness before speaking, only to realize what comes out of my mouth sound totally foreign and distant. A part of me wishes that I speak like them, so that I wouldn't feel so out of place, but another part of me thinks that I'm just being silly and people would understand me as long as what I say comes out from an English dictionary.

I always wonder: Is it because I'm different that's why people don't talk to me? Or because I'm different I try to keep myself with a safe distant so that others won't find out and think that I'm a freak? Okay, maybe freak is too strong a word to be used here. But there certainly isn't any other more suitable word right now. I try to prevent stress from getting to me, after all it's only the first day of class, but as soon as the assignment brief was given, I felt my tummy tighten. Anyone that knows that I don't have exams say the same thing: Wish I were you. Yeah think again. Every task I'm given feels like exam. And you know what the best part is? It never stops. Now how would you like an ongoing 4 months exam with only a week of study leave, sounds pretty fun eh?

When people ask you to describe yourself with one word, you give it a serious thought. You have a tough time choosing between few adjectives because you seem to think that you relate to more than one word. But here's the ironic thing, when people ask you to describe them in one word, you can almost immediately decide which word suits them best. Does that mean that they know you better? Or does it mean that you need to make more effort in getting to know yourself? When I'm alone, I like to guess what kind of person I am in the eyes of others. But usually only floats around in my mind: a loner.

It doesn't bother me all that much, until I saw the title of this semester's first assignment for Graphic Design Studio: REVEAL. Immediate response: Oh no.

If I were to describe myself/current situation in one word, the first word that pops up would be something along the lines of help! and alone, these days nothing seem to be within my control anymore.



Still waiting, hoping and believing,
Char

"If you use one of your children to save the life of another, are you being a
good mother - or a very bad one?"

I had to admit it, even before reaching the last word that marks the ending, I had started to feel like crying. Like her other book Nineteen Minutes, My Sister's Keeper holds a plot that grips it's readers so tight you could practically loose yourself in time, and words, for that matter. It's always the last few pages that changes everything. You will think you know, and will be able to guess, what will eventually turn out, only to find that bit by bit the story goes out of hand, into Picoults brilliantly formed net.

Now and then, she lets in bits and pieces of information, things that readers may or may not notice but will come to realization of the point of it being mentioned upon flipping till the last page. But of course, I won't say her writing is flawless, because I believe no one else is nor can ever be. And besides, the likability of a book is solely based on personal preference, just like wine. I would say this is a good book, a really good one in fact, although there were parts I'd thought were excesses that serve no purpose in telling the story.

Also, I like how she always ends her paragraphs and chapters sort of hanging but actually isn't. The only possible explanation would be her intention of trigerring thoughts, as if forcing readers to form their own thinking. If only, what would happen if only? So what now? Would you have done the same thing? Did she do it because she thinks it's right or because she needed to make the situation right?

Another tick in my to-read list. This book is good but personally I think Picoult needs to be careful of producing duplications because all through the book, I never stopped seeing shadows of Nineteen Minutes peeping out behind words (or actually it's the other way around since My Sister's Keeper was written before it), even though both stories are not related nor were they similar. But the thing that doesn't change is the pathway she had formed for her readers, and how she had guided them with the same old gesture and emotions, till the end.

Now about the book, I felt sorry for Anna, the same way I felt sorry for Delia in Vanishing Acts, and Peter in Nineteen Minutes. They were all victims, but people fail to see that, because they were too blind to pay attention to what goes on behind what plays right before their eyes. In her stories, no one wins and no one looses. Things doesn't always turn out the way the readers want, because they are out of the reader's imagination or in other words, the assumption of what Picoult is capable of: re-manipulating the plot. Instead, it always twists itself into something it ought to be, for the good of all. Giving her readers a satisfying but not another oh-how-I-wish-it-was-like-that ending shows that she is indeed a very talented writer.

Pride and Prejudice? And all the other Jane Austen movies for that matter.

I may be a thousand decades behind but it's never too late to declare how very much worth watching this movie is. I fell in love with it from the very beginning. And unlike sense and sensibility, which is also equally good but can be quite draggy at times, this one grips me from the beginning till the very end, when Mr. Darcy kissed Elizabeth aka Mrs Darcy longingly and in my own assumption, lived happily ever after the end. And Mr Darcy... oooooooh don't even get me started on how charming the man is. Muahaaha, I'm hooked oh yes I am.

I have never read any of her books though, knowing the experience on screen may not be as thrilling as it is in the form of sentences. And because the language is slightly more complex I think I would much prefer to let it guide me through vision and conversations among the characters.

Well of course, her other novel-turned-movies are good too but I have yet covered all of them. Will do when I settle down and have my internet connection transferred to the new place. :)

The Jane Austen Book Club is obviously out of that category. Released only recently, it's a modern day book-made-movie that talks about 6 different Californians who formed a book club to discuss Jane Austen's works. It's quite an interesting movie as it reflects to the viewers how each character developes and grows as they further understand Jane Austen as a person in relation to the similarities of the characters in her books. I'm not going to go into details except conclude that this movie is, too, worth a watch. :)

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Update:

I'm still homeless and will be until the 6th of March. From Wednesday onwards I won't have internet connection until god knows when because something's terribly wrong with my apple baby, will explain next time.

Right now I only pray that everything will turn out alright. Jac, everything will be fine right? Wish you were here.

When I get back I have to:

1) transfer funds from fix deposit to net bank saver.
2) change address: oshc, bank, monash, mobile, optus.
3) apply for phoneline. disconnect old one.
4) set up internet at the new place. oh pls router don't shit on me.
5) buy furniture: fridge, washing machine, vacumn, iron + board, clothes rack, study table, shelves, lamps, tv, sofa, blinds/curtain, detergents, mop, kitchen table + chairs... omgomgomg how am i going to afford all that?
6) enquire about the bill payments. we pay for electricity. water should be owner's responsibility. 7) get back half of the internet + landline expensew from lyncia.
8) pay semester fees. i'm overdue.
9) get movers/help to move my stuffs from yee ming's, the old place, and get my luggage bag from cous.
10) extend oshc visa within a month.
11) i have another month of gym membership to be continued in melbourne. use it.
12) work. but before that, land myself a part-time job.
13) pick up all types, my work's in there.
14) supposed to hand in logo design for the malaysian club. aiks. no time. not to mention inspiration or mood.
15) reapply working permit.

Great. No house. No internet. Limited mobility. and now, I have 15 things to do immediately upon arriving WHILE making sure I don't miss any classes when uni starts on the 25th.

someone kill me please. i don't wanna go back :(((

Already, I’m feeling home-sick. It cannot be. Is it even possible for one to feel home-sick when at the very moment one’s fingers are tapping lively on the alphabet keys on the keyboard, not in some foreign exotic land that spells anything but home?

Dread. This is all I can feel running through the veins in my body right now. And then, I come to realize that in 3 days time, my ass would be glued on a MAS seat, watching movie while having plane food – bad food, and counting down the hours before landing on Kangaroo Land once again.
I do not understand how some people can be so looking forward to going back. I can see the reason in that, but to relate to it is another matter. Maybe I’m just one of those creatures longing to be locked up even though I’ve always strived for freedom. At least things are predictable here, and predictable is what I need now, in a living-life-peacefully kinda way.

Cheer up, I try to tell my unlikely-to-be-persuaded self. Right now, I hope that gloom will leave me alone. It’s as if I’ve been walking under a rain cloud above my head these few days, an invisible rain cloud that has been pouring only on me and glides along above my head wherever I go, blocking all means of sunshine. Go rain on someone else, I tell it.

If I can pack them up in my luggage bag, I will gladly do so, even if I exceed my 20kg quota so much that I will have to file a cheque to pay it off just to get them in the plane!


Going crazy over hoodies!


Dining Mexican at Las Carretas.


Secret Recipe.


On the way home from Zah's 21st, ala smile-until-cannot-see-eyes.


Pre-xmas family gathering/cousin's beearlied birthday celebration.


Fitting room affair *winks*


Chinese New Year house-hopping! I lost RM 30. T________T


Warming up (him, not me!) before going to Sky Bar.


That hat looks heavy to me :S


The day Ash flies to Hawaii.


Outside Zen's place, after meeting up at Alexis.



Got bored while waiting for food at The Apartments. Btw the food is BAD.


Lim Yong's birthday dinner at Itallianese.


Having cakes with sa poh at Bakerzine.


Growing out legs wtf.



A short meeting-up with the ex-K1-ians at Mark's Place.


Chin Fei 's best look, haha!


Dining at Dragon-i. Come to me oh siew long baos!


BBQ at Kwan Weng's with the sexybabes. :9



Aw, I miss them already!


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The Time Traveler's Wife is awesome! Part of me is sad because I've finished reading the book, it's so brilliant I want to laugh and cry at the same time. The movie's coming out in a few months time and I can't wait!! Let's hope it's good. I highly recommend this book people. :)

Other good reads I've picked up during the holidays:




1) The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks
2) Sophie's Bakery for the Broken Hearted by Lolly Winston
- A touch of humor added onto the character's emotional wreck, bad hair, and Oreo addiction.
3) Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult
- One of the best among all, the story is very thought-provoking and compelling, I loved it!
4) Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult
5) Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
- Heart-breaker, tear-jerker.
6) For One More Day by Mitch Albom
7) The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfiel
- An engrossing tale that sucks you in like a black hole, I couldn't put it down until the last page.

The thing about finally fishing up a good read is that you will always expect the next book to be as good and if it's anything but better you'll feel disappointed. Books are expensive aren't they?? And it doesn't help that for me, 2 books is not enough to last a week. :((

I can't wait to get my hands on these!:



1) My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
2) The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
3) A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
4) The Choice by Nicholas Sparks

Has anyone read any of them yet?

I think to myself: Screw Valentines. Screw couples walking all over the place, flashing smiles to each other, holding roses on one hand and the other on another’s. Screw couple platters and set for 2’s in restaurants; teddy bears packed with chocolates and pink hearts on display shelves. Screw February 14.

I don’t know which one is worst. Loosing a boyfriend, or never having one. Somehow I think the latter would do me better now, for loosing someone isn’t only about loosing, it’s about the consequences that affects you like a trail of scent, covering the very air you breathe in. And then let’s not forget the break-up pounds I’ve put on, my jeans screaming omg another size up! Hurray to the new record of size 10! Maybe I can continue this waistline expanding thing and before you know it I can get Levi’s jeans for only 10 dollars! They only have size 12 and 14 for those.

And then I go and get another cupcake. Gobble down the last piece of green tea chiffon. Nowadays I want to cup my hands on both ears and run out of the room when mom talks to me. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t like talking to her, but since recently all she ever talks about are serious matters. Like my overseas insurance health card, or how I should manage my finance, how much I spend on this and that each month and how much is the excess, or how troublesome it is now that I have to sleep under the bridge for 2 weeks when I get back to Melbourne, and she has to elaborate in detail every kind of pain coming my way, as if I did not already know. Maybe I don’t, but her reminding me of how bad the situation is certainly doesn’t help much but add on to my mountain of panic. I want to dive into the pool, flushing out all the must-dos and problems out of my life. They’re like the contents inside Pandora’s Box, but I do not remember uncapping the lid. Change address, connect phone line, buy furniture, manage bank account, attend uni, cook, make new friends and keep old ones, ADDAPT… I have been doing this for one year (except the friends part) I don’t know why the thought of having to do it again nauseate me. I love Melbourne, if only everything that has to do with it doesn’t seem like it want to put me under depression.

And then I’m back to ground zero. Wondering why happiness has never come easy for me like it had with others. Independence is something I've gained from it, the pursuit of happiness wtf. I can be happy while watching movie alone, is that independence or miserable? But I was happy the last time I did it wor, which is right after the break-up. I know, I’m cuckoo.

I’m beginning to think that I am undergoing some sort of depression. Every time someone calls me out I give them the automatic response of “I’m not free, maybe next time” and then crawl under the sheets with a book and some snacks. It’s like I’ve developed some sort of phobia going out. And then I occasionally loose patience during group outings, thinking why my friends can’t be more UNDERSTANDING and getting mad because no one seems to understand me, later on I rethink and wish I had been quieter and my face didn’t look like someone who just killed. Ha! I’m becoming an expert in sabotaging my own life.

I just saw something funny. Chin Fei’s MSN nickname: Valentines Day is also known as Single Awareness day. Okay I’m going to stop on that Valentines Day crap. See? Why can’t I be like him, cheerful and bubbly all the time, as if nothing in the world can put me down as long as I laugh it off?

Okay I’m going to change my MSN nickname: Under the bridge is my home. Take that!

no thanks to the deceitful caretaker who oh-so-easily promised us everything that he couldn't fulfill. WORDS. That's what they were, though so convincing they had sound at the time. Bleh.

1) Supposed to be able to move in by 25th, LATEST, and promised to try getting us in earlier. Penyu had promised I could crash for a couple of days till I get the keys.

Now, he said I'm looking at 6th of freaking March! Where the hell am I supposed to stay till then huh? Under the bridge??

2) Had promised to get us a list of price for the furnitures the previous tenant is planning to sell. NOT DONE.

3) Suddenly "switched" the Unit we're supposed to move into. Unit 910 that we had inspected and dealed had now became Unit 911. and get this, he did not even bother to EXPLAIN.

Do I look like my face is printed with "BULLY PLEASE. WON'T BUDGE"????? Dahlah we kept quiet and agreed to the rent like little kittens, I had even told my mom no it's not very expensive, knowing everything is worth it, and she had been understanding, but THIS? That old man has really gone too far. Looks like I'm on the loosing side of the equation.

Sob sob.

The worst is really happening, I'm about to relive history.

I'm gona stuff myself silly with pineapple tarts and nga gu and peanut cookies and all the other CNY goodies you can imagine lol.

Going out for ice-cream now toodalooo! :))