19 January 2014
About two weeks ago I said that no one can change yourself but you.
By the same principle, you have no power to change others.
I misspoke.
People can change each other. One only has to look towards the case of great leaders: Benjamin Franklin, Nelson Mandela, Pope John Paul II, Mahatma Ghandi. These are great men who inspired and changed the lives of many. Again, we see Genghis Khan or even Hitler, where they managed to get the multitudes to submit to their rule.
But wait, did the people under the command of these influential men have a choice in this? Could they turn their back on Ghandi and say no to peaceful protests? Yes they could, violence is a common means of "solving" problems. Could men choose to abandon the ranks of the Great Khan's army? Yes they could, even if it meant death.
You can change others.
But, to qualify, they must give you the power to change them. You see, one only has the power to change oneself. The power lies in each individual. Each individual has makes his or her own autonomous decision on how to live life. I must admit, though, that people may not realise this. For example, children. At a young age, we do not realise that we can make our own decisions. Instead, we give the power to decide to our parents. We follow their instructions and listen to them. When we begin to mature, we slowly gain more independence and make our own choices. Still, some people never realise that
ALL decisions can be made on our own. These people never gain full autonomy.
Some people realise that the choices are our own to make. However, out of convenience (laziness, fear, etc.), they concede their free will and rather let other people tell them what to do and what to think.
e.g. Why abolish slavery? Because slavery is bad. (Why is slavery bad? Because all men are equal.) (Why are all men equal?) At some point, they may get annoyed, or make an appeal to authority to justify their beliefs or quit the conversation entirely. Or do all three.
Other people realise that our lives are our own to control and take the wheel in their own hands. They drive their own vehicle. They think for themselves, and act in accordance to their own will.
e.g. Why abolish slavery? Because I have met countless men, and each man is someone's son, someone's brother and father. I cannot bear to act towards them in any way except how I would act towards my own father, brother or son.
We all have a choice. To be sheep or to be men.
01 January 2014
To the hothead, any unsolicited advice is unwelcome advice. This demanding spirit should not be shackled by the advice of old and muddled sages of the past. The live their lives in their own unbridled fashion and go everywhere expecting total obeisance. Is being wise and cool-headed better? If that is so, let them be better, as long as they mind their own business.
To the grieving, outsiders immediately become busybodies who cannot even begin to understand the pain and sorrow experienced. Unless the lost soul decides to let others through his iron curtain of emotions, the outside may never penetrate within.
The havoc child who loves partying hard believes his world to be perfect
so long as he has the means to support it. Why should he change it for
some so-called "better" lifestyle? He is where he wants to be.
We are, after all, simply characters in a story. We are merely actors in a play. The idiosyncrasies of each one of us are deeply etched, so deep that trying to change others is not just difficult - it is impossible.
There is a lightbulb joke that goes like this:
Q: How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
One cannot change other characters unless they are already willing to, of their own volition.
Every one of us are trapped in our own characters. Each perspective is believes their own to be the only way possible for them. To believe we can change others is a fool's dream. Every one changes only his or her self, when they are ready.
The conclusion I have reached is this: Make no attempt to change how others live. Let them live how they wish. If they wish to change, they will change naturally on their own. If they wish to stay the same, there they will remain. In Lagrangian mechanics, it just means doing nothing takes the least effort and produces the same result.
Older Post | Newer Post
19 January 2014
About two weeks ago I said that no one can change yourself but you.
By the same principle, you have no power to change others.
I misspoke.
People can change each other. One only has to look towards the case of great leaders: Benjamin Franklin, Nelson Mandela, Pope John Paul II, Mahatma Ghandi. These are great men who inspired and changed the lives of many. Again, we see Genghis Khan or even Hitler, where they managed to get the multitudes to submit to their rule.
But wait, did the people under the command of these influential men have a choice in this? Could they turn their back on Ghandi and say no to peaceful protests? Yes they could, violence is a common means of "solving" problems. Could men choose to abandon the ranks of the Great Khan's army? Yes they could, even if it meant death.
You can change others.
But, to qualify, they must give you the power to change them. You see, one only has the power to change oneself. The power lies in each individual. Each individual has makes his or her own autonomous decision on how to live life. I must admit, though, that people may not realise this. For example, children. At a young age, we do not realise that we can make our own decisions. Instead, we give the power to decide to our parents. We follow their instructions and listen to them. When we begin to mature, we slowly gain more independence and make our own choices. Still, some people never realise that
ALL decisions can be made on our own. These people never gain full autonomy.
Some people realise that the choices are our own to make. However, out of convenience (laziness, fear, etc.), they concede their free will and rather let other people tell them what to do and what to think.
e.g. Why abolish slavery? Because slavery is bad. (Why is slavery bad? Because all men are equal.) (Why are all men equal?) At some point, they may get annoyed, or make an appeal to authority to justify their beliefs or quit the conversation entirely. Or do all three.
Other people realise that our lives are our own to control and take the wheel in their own hands. They drive their own vehicle. They think for themselves, and act in accordance to their own will.
e.g. Why abolish slavery? Because I have met countless men, and each man is someone's son, someone's brother and father. I cannot bear to act towards them in any way except how I would act towards my own father, brother or son.
We all have a choice. To be sheep or to be men.
01 January 2014
To the hothead, any unsolicited advice is unwelcome advice. This demanding spirit should not be shackled by the advice of old and muddled sages of the past. The live their lives in their own unbridled fashion and go everywhere expecting total obeisance. Is being wise and cool-headed better? If that is so, let them be better, as long as they mind their own business.
To the grieving, outsiders immediately become busybodies who cannot even begin to understand the pain and sorrow experienced. Unless the lost soul decides to let others through his iron curtain of emotions, the outside may never penetrate within.
The havoc child who loves partying hard believes his world to be perfect
so long as he has the means to support it. Why should he change it for
some so-called "better" lifestyle? He is where he wants to be.
We are, after all, simply characters in a story. We are merely actors in a play. The idiosyncrasies of each one of us are deeply etched, so deep that trying to change others is not just difficult - it is impossible.
There is a lightbulb joke that goes like this:
Q: How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
One cannot change other characters unless they are already willing to, of their own volition.
Every one of us are trapped in our own characters. Each perspective is believes their own to be the only way possible for them. To believe we can change others is a fool's dream. Every one changes only his or her self, when they are ready.
The conclusion I have reached is this: Make no attempt to change how others live. Let them live how they wish. If they wish to change, they will change naturally on their own. If they wish to stay the same, there they will remain. In Lagrangian mechanics, it just means doing nothing takes the least effort and produces the same result.
Older Post | Newer Post