30 December 2012
The human condition is that we are ill equipped to understand ourselves. Who are we, really? And if we cannot understand ourselves, how can we begin to understand others?
Time and time again, I am reminded of this inadequacy of mine. How do others live with theirs? I do not know. Perhaps they gloss over it, forget it, so that they can live. But is that full living? Is that harmonious living? Is being actualized a gilded myth or truly possible?
I must admit that I do lose my way sometimes. Things I promised myself, I cannot uphold. How then, can I bring myself to promise anything to others?
This year has been a year of much enlightenment, yet for everything that has been elucidated, several more shadows have been cast.
When will I be ready? When can I escape the human condition?
03 December 2012
A few days before my exams, I suffered from a bout of diarrhea. I honestly felt like I purged out everything I had eaten since forever. I also farted a great deal. I wonder if the gas is a result of the bacteria in my system dying. Anyhow, my final paper was last Thursday. So thus marked the end of my first semester in the university.
In these past few days, I have spent most of my time working. I finished reading my library book. I did watch two movies on YouTube last night. I watched a lecture on QED today. I practiced a little of my piano. Life without university is pretty much free from deadlines and expectations.
I still wish to practice harder and train harder. Sometimes I find it hard to play as my grandparents are staying in my place temporarily and they watch the television most of the time - my playing will disturb them. With regards to training, mostly it is just me being lazy, and sore. Some days my body feels crumpled. Maybe I am getting old. Or very lazy. Should be old.
Thinking about it, musicians really deserve a lot of respect. Music expresses so deeply where words fail us. That is one reason why I want to learn how to play the piano. Not just the memorizing of notes and finger placing. I want to feel the music I play, to be a part of it.
I am so incomplete.
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30 December 2012
The human condition is that we are ill equipped to understand ourselves. Who are we, really? And if we cannot understand ourselves, how can we begin to understand others?
Time and time again, I am reminded of this inadequacy of mine. How do others live with theirs? I do not know. Perhaps they gloss over it, forget it, so that they can live. But is that full living? Is that harmonious living? Is being actualized a gilded myth or truly possible?
I must admit that I do lose my way sometimes. Things I promised myself, I cannot uphold. How then, can I bring myself to promise anything to others?
This year has been a year of much enlightenment, yet for everything that has been elucidated, several more shadows have been cast.
When will I be ready? When can I escape the human condition?
03 December 2012
A few days before my exams, I suffered from a bout of diarrhea. I honestly felt like I purged out everything I had eaten since forever. I also farted a great deal. I wonder if the gas is a result of the bacteria in my system dying. Anyhow, my final paper was last Thursday. So thus marked the end of my first semester in the university.
In these past few days, I have spent most of my time working. I finished reading my library book. I did watch two movies on YouTube last night. I watched a lecture on QED today. I practiced a little of my piano. Life without university is pretty much free from deadlines and expectations.
I still wish to practice harder and train harder. Sometimes I find it hard to play as my grandparents are staying in my place temporarily and they watch the television most of the time - my playing will disturb them. With regards to training, mostly it is just me being lazy, and sore. Some days my body feels crumpled. Maybe I am getting old. Or very lazy. Should be old.
Thinking about it, musicians really deserve a lot of respect. Music expresses so deeply where words fail us. That is one reason why I want to learn how to play the piano. Not just the memorizing of notes and finger placing. I want to feel the music I play, to be a part of it.
I am so incomplete.
Older Post | Newer Post