20 July 2011
Until I find the ultimate meaning of my life, I feel as if I am wandering aimlessly...
I am thinking of the quote "
It is not the destination that is important, but the journey."
I really want to believe that there is more to this world than materialism. I really want to believe in the supernatural. But then the skeptic in me does not release my own need for evidence. Where is the proof for the supernatural? If only I could perceive... if it is true at all.
12 July 2011
Today I went over to her place to get the library book.
Talked to her mum for a while.
Took the book, then I left.
I am not proud.
Today I am broken.
04 July 2011
Looks like my path to truth is taking me every on a helluva ride.
From books, to drugs, to meditation. How many of these things are true?
Of course, I have not tried the drugs.
Because it is prohibited by law in this country.
If I was staying in another country where psycho-active drugs were freely available, I would have dabbled with it already. The truth is, the consciousness is hardly understood by modern science. And perhaps it is because consciousness is not of this physical plane, therefore it cannot be measured by physical means. That is why an exploration into the mind is so appealing to me.
Since drugs are inaccessible to myself, I turn towards other drug-free alternatives. My parents would think I am crazy for wanting to try drugs anyway. But just so you know, not all drugs are addictive. In fact, some psychoactive drugs are pretty unpleasant - it induces nausea and vomiting. Who would want to try it for fun? As for the alternatives, meditation seemed like the way to go.
My friend got interested in astral projection and lucid dreaming and psychic powers as well. Personally I am not too sure about that, but I decided to start recording my dreams. This went well for the first few days. Sadly, for the last week, I have not been able to remember any of my dreams. Meditation does not seem to be working for me either, though I have gotten a spinning sensation twice in all my attempts. Or perhaps my mind was only imagining it.
That of course, is a very difficult thing to understand because my mind is the only thing I have to perceive all reality. If my mind imagines something, how do I know if it is not real in that sense? Sorry, I am beginning to ramble. I will try to elaborate on this more elegantly in the future.
Other than that, I do not know if I am on the right track for achieving Nirvana or the Ultimate Truth. In fact, I do not even hope to know so much at first. All I want is a reassurance that there is at least something greater out there. A vision of a different dimension, irrefutable evidence (in my mind) that we are not alone.
By the way I have not stopped playing DotA.
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20 July 2011
Until I find the ultimate meaning of my life, I feel as if I am wandering aimlessly...
I am thinking of the quote "
It is not the destination that is important, but the journey."
I really want to believe that there is more to this world than materialism. I really want to believe in the supernatural. But then the skeptic in me does not release my own need for evidence. Where is the proof for the supernatural? If only I could perceive... if it is true at all.
12 July 2011
Today I went over to her place to get the library book.
Talked to her mum for a while.
Took the book, then I left.
I am not proud.
Today I am broken.
04 July 2011
Looks like my path to truth is taking me every on a helluva ride.
From books, to drugs, to meditation. How many of these things are true?
Of course, I have not tried the drugs.
Because it is prohibited by law in this country.
If I was staying in another country where psycho-active drugs were freely available, I would have dabbled with it already. The truth is, the consciousness is hardly understood by modern science. And perhaps it is because consciousness is not of this physical plane, therefore it cannot be measured by physical means. That is why an exploration into the mind is so appealing to me.
Since drugs are inaccessible to myself, I turn towards other drug-free alternatives. My parents would think I am crazy for wanting to try drugs anyway. But just so you know, not all drugs are addictive. In fact, some psychoactive drugs are pretty unpleasant - it induces nausea and vomiting. Who would want to try it for fun? As for the alternatives, meditation seemed like the way to go.
My friend got interested in astral projection and lucid dreaming and psychic powers as well. Personally I am not too sure about that, but I decided to start recording my dreams. This went well for the first few days. Sadly, for the last week, I have not been able to remember any of my dreams. Meditation does not seem to be working for me either, though I have gotten a spinning sensation twice in all my attempts. Or perhaps my mind was only imagining it.
That of course, is a very difficult thing to understand because my mind is the only thing I have to perceive all reality. If my mind imagines something, how do I know if it is not real in that sense? Sorry, I am beginning to ramble. I will try to elaborate on this more elegantly in the future.
Other than that, I do not know if I am on the right track for achieving Nirvana or the Ultimate Truth. In fact, I do not even hope to know so much at first. All I want is a reassurance that there is at least something greater out there. A vision of a different dimension, irrefutable evidence (in my mind) that we are not alone.
By the way I have not stopped playing DotA.
Older Post | Newer Post