25 January 2009
Whatever accomplishment you boast of in the world, there is someone better than you.- African proverb
Oh well.
13 January 2009
Two of my new teachers talk really softly and my classmate was saying that we should go for lip-reading lessons so we can understand what they are saying.Today I could not get myself out of bed early enough. Disappointing.
12 January 2009
My timetable is disgusting. Whilst the rest of my class can be dismissed at 2pm today, I alone have to remain in school for an additional two more hours for lessons.Anyway, I am out of my holidays and in to my school days. I am actually trying to figure out how I should best balance my academic and CCA commitments with my own personal interests.
But for now, I need to keep to my timetable, so, goodnight world. Hello early nights.
06 January 2009
Can you tell meIs there any other way?
I cannot hide it
I have doubts
I'm not afraid to stay
I'm here
When the curtain falls.
Sometimes I lose control of myself. My brain just stops functioning. I think I am turning mad. I should try to do something somehow somewhere for some reason. I am not thinking right. I might be going crazy. You know I think I am slightly senile now. Insanity I think I lost my sanity oh this is bad but I do not know. I just think I should, start thinking straight some how.
03 January 2009
There comes a time in every man's life where he sits down and asks himself, what should I do with my life? During that time the person will reflect and contemplate on his past actions and regrets, and also his desires and aspirations. He will ask, what am I doing now? How can I reach my destination from here? What path should I take? What are the risks and opportunities involved with each choice?This is not one such time.
That above paragraph was just a feeble attempt at making this post look serious.
I am taking a look at all the things on my messy computer table at the moment. Beyond all the stacked-up papers, files, worksheets, web-camera, pencil holder, CD cases, handphone pouch, cup, keyboard, mouse, CPU, wires, speakers that do not work anymore and four of my extracted teeth which had to go for my braces...
I see this proverb written on a post-it by my mum, which I have used over and over again until it has become overused.
Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Choose your words, for they become actions.
Understand your actions, for they become habits.
Study your habits, for they will become your character.
Develop your character, for it will become your destiny.
So let me take a little time to figure out more about myself.
I am a simple person.
I am also very fortunate to be born into a comfortable life.
I am usually cool-headed.
I am content with just spending other people's company in silence.
I like to make people smile and laugh.
I like honest people.
I like to eat, sleep and play.
I like to be carefree.
I think that some things matter more than others.
I think that some people have got their priorities wrong.
I think that my emotions are very subdued.
I think that I think too much, and feel too little.
I believe that the world is cruel.
I believe that the world will continue to remain so unless currency is eradicated.
I believe that I am quite cold.
I believe that friends come and go, just like passing clouds.
I usually become frustrated due to my responsibilities, religion, my teachers and my phone.
I am convinced that I am dispensable in the world and my solitary death would mean nothing to the world as a whole. I am also convinced that every other commoner is dispensable. Though we are all dispensable and insignificant, I still value human life. I just feel that the value depreciates to zero once death arrives.
I am without doubt that the universe was created by God. But I am highly suspicious of the idea that God hung around to meddle in this lonely planet.
I also find myself very lacking in guts.
And I also found out that I am actually very complicated.
I have many different facades, different faces that I employ for different situations. Sometimes I will be the Amiable, sometimes the Closed Door. Other times I will be the Composed Leader, other times still the Indifferent Follower. I can be nice and sweet, or I can be nasty and sour.
But when you strip away all the unnecessary problems that I encounter in life, I find that what I really want to be is to be self-sufficient and independent of all cares of the world. What I really want is to find that niche of mine and settle down for good. If that means living simply and frugally, I will still do it.
I guess I am aiming too low for most people. They always expect me to aim higher and higher.
01 January 2009
My new year resolution:Is to get through this year, then things will go much more smoothly.