30 November 2008
Back from Cambodia.
14 November 2008
Sometimes I am ashamed of myself when I think how few friends I have amidst a host of acquaintances. Plenty of people offer me their friendship; but, partly, because I am reserved and shy, and partly because I am fastidious and have narrow, uncatholic taste in friends, I reject the offer in almost every case; and then am dismayed to look about and see how few persons in the world stand near me and know me as I am,--in such wise that they can give me sympathy and close support of heart. Perhaps it is because when I give at all I want to give my whole heart, and I feel that so few want it all, or would return measure for measure.- Woodrow Wilson
11 November 2008
Guilt.Remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offense.
When can a person free himself from guilt? Guilt, I would say, is much more complicated than anger or shame. When in a fit of anger, I could take a step back to cool off, become level-headed and reassess the situation. I could forgive and forget. When humiliated, I can choose to let the matter slide. I could ignore.
What makes this emotion called guilt any different?
If I hurt someone, and wish to repent for the action, guilt would result. I am obliged to repay the person. I am in debt. So when can a person free himself from guilt? When I free my bonds and my chains. I figure, this is similar to gratitude. A repayment of sorts.
So the only way to free myself from guilt, is to seek forgiveness. Is that it? If you are not going to seek forgiveness, why bother feeling guilty in the first place? To remind yourself of how badly you went wrong? Or to say, Hey, I feel bad enough about this okay, so this is my penance.
What if the person does not want to forgive? Where does that leave you? I sure as hell know where that leaves me. If you do not want to forgive me, well, keep your forgiveness, because I need it not. In fact, I never needed your forgiveness. Because guilt operates for me the same way anger and shame works for me. Emotions are just chemical reactions.
I work on contract. If I hurt you this much, I will compensate you fairly. If you do not want my terms, or do not appreciate my repayment, I will close the case. No point begging, is there?
On a side note, this is not some rant due to some personal conflict. Rather, this is a little thought which jumped into my head a few days ago. I only got down to expanding the idea today.
10 November 2008
We went the wrong direction. We made a mistake. We made the wrong move when we changed from a scientific to economic community.Amen to that.
Because I ain't going to be struggling.
06 November 2008
Doing your best is not as important as appearing to do your best.Such is life.
05 November 2008
The mirror shows truthReveals what you are
A phoenix in flames
Arise from the ashes again
We're on our way now
We're on our way now
The end's a miracle
Dream on if you dare
Straight through the mirror
We'll sail on through the air
Shroud and silence my heart with cloaks and daggers.