There are always stupid people in this world.
Best to avoid contact.
Their stupidity might be infectious. If one day I have no one left to rely on, if one day I can take the pressure no longer, if one day I break down, I would have one last escape.

I would create an imaginary friend. I would name him Jesus. The Internet.

The scourge, the bane, the burden of our generation. We must be swift as
the coursing river;
With all the force
of a great typhoon;
With all the strength
of a raging fire;
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon.

The lyrics really mean a lot.

Mister I'll make a man out of you. When you examine the world around you,
you are but exploring your own mind.

All things perceived, all things reasoned, all things reflected upon.
All is in the mind. Worse things happen at sea, you know.
I mean, what you got to lose? You know, you come from nothing.
You're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!
Nothing will come from nothing. You know what they say?
Cheer up, you old bugger. Come on. Give us a grin. There you are. See?

Always look on the bright side of life.

Just be ordinary and nothing special. Eat your food, move your bowels, pass water, and when you're tired, go and lie down. The ignorant will laugh at me, but the wise will understand.

- Lin Chi Why is every one telling me not to think so much?

In sooth I know not why I am so sad.
It wearies me, you say it wearies you. I am a gadfly like Socrates.
You should try to be one some time.
It is amusing. Stable equilibrium - The response to a small shift in position is forces that tend to restore the equilibrium.

Unstable equilibrium - The response to a small perturbation is forces that tend to cause cause the object to move even farther away.

Neutral equilibrium - If the system is displaced a small amount, it will stay in the new state.

When sleeping, I am in stable equilibrium. Hit me with your best shot.
When studying, I am in unstable equilibrium. Do not disturb.
When doing every thing else, I am in neutral equilibrium. So be it.

It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
- Ronald Reagan I have just finished reading Epic by Conor Kostick.

You know, I was thinking, if this world was a role-playing game, then currently society is stressing extremely heavily on the attributeintelligence. What of strength, agility, charisma or wisdom? Where is the balance? Where is the Aristotelian Mean, the middle way?

My world I perceive is grey and dull. Perhaps, because I have no hope for the future. Perhaps, because I have nothing to look forward to. Perhaps, because I feel detached from this world. Perhaps, because nothing matters to me.

Fact is, I am having conflicts within myself. All I feel is dissonance, dissonance, dissonance and dissonance. I cannot come to terms with myself. Just like the example in the book, I am wrestling with myself. What do I want out of life?

If a man is evil, do you blame the people who educated him? If a new generation suffers a decadence of morals, is it the fault of the previous generation? If the previous generation was flawed in their educating, should the preceding generation be blamed? Are we moving towards infinite regression?

Occam's razor - Go simple. Fault the individual. Make me the sole liability for my selfishness, because I knowingly chose to be this way. If you know what I know, you would feel so small, so insignificant, so helpless, so worthless. That we are all just cosmic dust.

I have faith. Faith that the other religions are wrong.

What is the origin of life? I confess I do not know. But I do know that I will never find the answer in this life. I push the question to one side.

Happy-go-lucky, I am. I am tired of questioning.
I get no answers.
What is objective?
It seems every thing is relative.

I just want to lie down and forget every thing.
So I can be happy.

Maybe dementia is a blessing in disguise after all.

Why did God make ants? To help us better understand our relationship with Himself. Going to church is a waste of my time.

Disagree with me? Why not you explain to me how Christianity is the true religion? Also account for the fact that there are other major world religions with their own legion of believers.

Please do not give me examples of saints or martyrs or pious people as proof of true faith i.e. if Christianity was false they would not have sacrificed so much. You were probably never told about the herd-mentality. You might join a queue not knowing what you are queuing for only to find out later that they are just people standing in a line.

And when I see "Christians" around me behaving unlike Christ in their mannerism and attitudes I am led to assume that what they have is merely a token religion. If you really believe in Christ then make him the center of your life. Maybe I will be convinced then.

Numb by Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be,
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
I don't know what you are expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware,
I'm becoming this - all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this - all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware,
I'm becoming this - all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be The term 'insane' is itself inaccurate and open to wide and varied interpretation. Typically, the image of an insane person is that of one whose grip on reality is chronically loosened or severed; incapable of coherent thought or speech; unable to make logical, rational decisions; the old-fashioned image of the 'village idiot' is the prevalent one. No jury would have trouble finding a plea of insanity unreasonable when faced with someone who looked like that. But consider these three different types:

1. One who is of above average intelligence, who is charming and socially skilled; disarming, amoral, manipulative, insensitive to the feelings of others, unable to tolerate frustration, callous, unable to settle or make commitment.

2. One who is jumpy, irritable, finds it difficult to concentrate or make decisions; has trouble sleeping, has a poor appetite, and suffers from vague feelings of panic or nausea that leaves them exhausted.

3. One who has decreased sexual desire, loss of appetite, a slowing of the mental processes, a general feeling of hopelessness and despair, worthlessness and unattractiveness, delusions of physical decay and an expectation of punishment.

The first is a typical sociopath or borderline psychopath, the second suffers from an anxiety neurosis, and the third a depressive disorder. None of these, put before a jury, would conform to the 'insane' image portrayed earlier. Yet all these three types are categorised as mental disorders by the two leading psychiatric diagnostic manuals, DSM-III-R (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Third Revision (1987))) and ICD10 (International Classification of Diseases).

Extract from here.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A304228

Wait, you mean I have a mental disorder? Today we were going through Natural Law for the first half of the lesson before proceeding to do a critical analysis of an article which was defending abortion.

Just how sacred is life to me?

Apparently, not very.

But significant enough that I am against abortion in conventional cases. In other exceptional cases such as rape resulting in a bastard child I will respect the decision of the mother, or non-mother.

Today I tried to do a handstand on the parallel bars and fell down onto the floor scaring all the little kids at the park. They probably think that I am mad.

One observation on the student development program. Instead of focusing on leadership skills, personal skills, social skills, anger management etcetera, the program should deal with apathy. For starters, I do not give hoot about all this "developmental modules" so to speak. Up next, I have gone through so many since I began schooling that the repetition is boring me. Finally, who cares about what the last reason is?

Let me tell you what I do care about. I care about living my life happily. And do not come preaching to me what happiness should mean to me. Come on, happiness to a family man would be to enjoy his family relationships and to support them. Happiness to a business man would be to rake in the green dollars. Happiness to a child would be to acquisition of a brand new game console. Happiness to a zealot would be to express his beliefs. Happiness to a missionary would be to witness his faith. Happiness to a thief would be to snag a big catch. Happiness to a terrorist would be seeing his enemies frightened faces. Happiness to me is to be happy-go-lucky.

We also discussed the issue of Apparent Good and Real Good.
Saint Thomas Aquinas proposed a few primary precepts that form the general purpose of human beings.
They should seek to live, work, reproduce, educate children, have an ordered society and worship God.

But then, if my concept of happiness is not right, what makes your own concept superior to mine, or even Saint Thomas' discourse on Natural Law?

Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares? Individualistic Doers are self-assured and very independent persons. They are quiet and realistic, very rational, extremely matter of fact persons. They strongly cultivate their individualism and enjoy applying their abilities to new tasks. But they are also very spontaneous and impulsive persons who like to follow their sudden inspirations. Individualistic Doers are good and precise observers who register everything which goes on around them. However, they are not so sensitive as regards interpersonal relations and are surprised when they occasionally rub someone up the wrong way with their direct and blunt manner. They are not particularly fond of obligations; but if you give them space, they are uncomplicated, sociable and cheerful individuals.

Individualistic Doers enjoy challenges - action and the odd kick are simply part of their life. They love tempting fate and many people of this type have risky hobbies such as skydiving or bungee jumping. This also applies to their workaday life. Individualistic Doers are in top form in critical situations; they can grasp situations, make decisions and take the necessary steps extremely quickly. Hierarchies and authorities impress them very little; if a superior is not competent, they will have little respect for him. Individualistic Doers like to take on responsibility. They have a marked sense of reality and always find the most suitable and expedient solution for a problem. They resolve conflicts openly and directly; here, they sometimes lack tact but are also very good at taking criticism themselves.

As friends, Individualistic Doers are loyal and devoted; they only have a few friendships but many of them last a lifetime. People enjoy talking to them because of their optimistic attitude to life and their ability to listen. However, they prefer to talk about mutual interests and hobbies rather than about theoretical or philosophical issues - they are not tangible enough for them. They need a lot of freedom and time to themselves in love relationships but, at the same time, they are also very tolerant towards their partners. It happens very seldom that Individualistic Doers fall head over heels in love. They are far too rational. They prefer to pick their partner on the basis of mutual interests and preferences which they want to share with that partner. Individualistic Doers are not particularly fond of effusive outbursts of emotion. They prefer to prove their love by their actions and expect the same of their partner. Whoever wishes to tie an Individualistic Doer to himself needs a lot of patience. It takes some time before this personality type is willing to get involved with another person.

From the website - http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html - to gauge your personality.

Those that are in bold are true most of the time. The part about liking to take on responsibility is cannot be further from the truth. Because, with responsibility comes obligations, and I remember highlighting that I am not particularly fond of obligations.

Talk about contradicting statements. I just want to thank all my friends who celebrated and even gave me presents. I am very surprised and glad.

Just a moment ago my eyes felt like they were going to go out of commission, and that meant that I would have just truncated my post there. But that was just now. I seem to have gained an extra boost of energy. Or maybe my brain is malfunctioning because I am supposed to be really tired. The time now is past one in the morning.

Anyway, today we continued the discussion about ethics, specifically utilitarianism. I noted down a question that interested me.

Why should an individual sacrifice his interests for the group?

For the benefit of the majority? But the majority is not always right. Should an individual just be a bystander when another is being mugged by thugs?

For our beliefs and principles, then. However, people have differing belief systems. Some may value self over others, and vice versa. So if I am selfish and place my own interests above those of others, why should I make the sacrifices?

Dissecting this further I can ask, if an individual should sacrifice his personal interests for the community, then to what degree is he required to give them up? Part of his income? His career? His freedom? His life? By the way, all Singaporean men are expected to sacrifice their lives for the Republic if the need arises; That is why there is National Service - to prepare us. It holds that varying hierarchies and prioritizing of values would affect this degree of self-giving.

Putting the argument simply: Which is of more worth, Your individual interest in question or the indicated interest of the group? All very subjective.

I cannot believe I allowed myself to fall into a guilt trip today. I hate it when that happens!

Standards are wonderful.
Everyone should have one!

I do not believe in standards, damn it. So stop giving me orders and maybe I will be more receptive to advice. What makes today special?

I sprayed a young lizard down into the sewage through the filter cover with the shower head. Hopefully it does not come back with a vengeance as some giant water-resistant mutant amphibious monster.

I guess, that is a pretty unique thing to do today.
Other than that, today is the last day of the holidays: A time for weeping and gnashing of teeth. To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and affection of children;
To learn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a little bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Notice how he did not mention obtaining a degree, landing a good job, earning big bucks, attending social events, going window shopping, bossing people around.

Not that those activities I listed above will prevent myself from succeeding in life, by his standards. I just mean that those are not a necessity.

Anyway, I am about to go on a Ralph Waldo Emerson quoting spree.

Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.
He sure thought this one through.

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
Sounds like an economist to me.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Then comes the question of, who am I?

Solitude is impractical and yet society is fatal.
Sure describes my own opinions right now.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
If you cannot be stupid in front of them, who can you be stupid in front of? Or you are not allowed to be stupid at all?

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Well this quote is going to make slaves of all of us.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
And this quote is going to make rebels of all of us.

Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood or appreciated.
Maybe because people are constantly changing. Just like trying to keep up with news. By the time you know it, the "news" is already old.

I hate the giving of the hand unless the whole man accompanies it.
If you want to help, be sincere about it. If you want to be bitter or sulky about it, then leave me to the vultures. Wait, maybe you should still save me. Because even if I hate the strings attached, I still might be able to accept the terms and conditions.

If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground.
Unless you do not mind me stepping all over you.

Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.
On the contrary, bad manners do not need any support.

In every society some men are born to rule, and some to advise.
He conveniently left out that some men are born to be ruled. Now look what I did. I vandalized a pretty picture.

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed.
Methinks our safety is in a big sturdy boat.

Men's actions are too strong for them. Show me a man who has acted, and who has not been the victim and slave of his action.
This one rings true. Very true.

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
Another quote I find immutable.

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity, but in being uninteresting.
That explains why I want to be uninteresting some times. Because I hate the limelight.

What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour.
This is funny. It actually made me laugh. Making a mental note to apply this quote against people who want too much time (including myself).

We must be our own before we can be another's.
Basically, I must accept myself before others can grow to accept me.

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.
Carpe Diem! If I went to the enjoy the lustrous flora and fauna. If I went to cherish the azure blue skies above my head. If I went to sit next to a man on a bench in the park.

What if the man is but a poor beggar?
What if the man is the sovereign king of the world?
He is but still a man.

How should one gauge the worth of a person? Are all men equal? Ideally, yes, we are all equal. But the truth is, people have different calibres and capabilities. Some people are worthless, while others are important. How do I decide who falls under which category? How do I judge? What criteria do I work with?

I will present you with an example to distinguish a "universal" criteria. Suppose a man lends a helping hand to his brother in need. Another refuses to provide aid, even though he is able to. Who is the better man? Obviously, the former. Why is this so? Because we have been indoctrinated since young that helping others is a goodness.

Moving on to a more ambiguous example: Suppose a man assists his brother who was about to die, but his brother is an evil man. Another refuses to save the brother, for the simple reason that the brother might commit more evil upon being saved. Who is the better man? This would depend on the individual in question. Some might say the former, some the latter. Kantian Ethics (i.e. Duty first) versus Utilitarianism (i.e. Greatest good for the greatest number).

Dilemmas like that really throw people off their usual comfortable patterns. A man who has done much evil in his past but repents and now does some good. Is he a bane or boon to society?

Who am I, another man, to judge people? Yet I still do. Instead, I will not impose my opinions on others. I will mind my own business. I have accepted that there are many things I will never know.
And I am content.
Further struggling would only lead to ugliness.
I do not want to be a dark character with troubling thoughts.
So I am just going to sit down and relax.

And relax.
And relax.
And relax.

And keep smiling. My cousin pointed this out to me.
You are always in doubt.

I am aware that nowadays, I punctuate my sentences with "I guess", "maybe", "I think", "suppose so", "might", etcetera. The reason is because, I am never sure. I am never certain. I am always in doubt. Most of the time, at least.

Probability. That is why I cannot be sure. I only whether it is likely to happen, or how much risk it entails. I can never guarantee a hundred percent success because there is always the possibility of failing. Sure, you can say that if I put my mind to it, I will triumph over the obstacles. The crux of the matter is, chances are that I will be victorious. But - there is always a but - I might, how ever measly the percentage, fail.

You see, I do not mean to be a prick. But I always want evidence to support an argument. I cannot take words at face value. I want proof.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
- Freidrich Neitzsche

Always explore all possible cases.
Who knows? All might be right; one might be correct; or none might be true at all.
Older Post | Newer Post

There are always stupid people in this world.
Best to avoid contact.
Their stupidity might be infectious. If one day I have no one left to rely on, if one day I can take the pressure no longer, if one day I break down, I would have one last escape.

I would create an imaginary friend. I would name him Jesus. The Internet.

The scourge, the bane, the burden of our generation. We must be swift as
the coursing river;
With all the force
of a great typhoon;
With all the strength
of a raging fire;
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon.

The lyrics really mean a lot.

Mister I'll make a man out of you. When you examine the world around you,
you are but exploring your own mind.

All things perceived, all things reasoned, all things reflected upon.
All is in the mind. Worse things happen at sea, you know.
I mean, what you got to lose? You know, you come from nothing.
You're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!
Nothing will come from nothing. You know what they say?
Cheer up, you old bugger. Come on. Give us a grin. There you are. See?

Always look on the bright side of life.

Just be ordinary and nothing special. Eat your food, move your bowels, pass water, and when you're tired, go and lie down. The ignorant will laugh at me, but the wise will understand.

- Lin Chi Why is every one telling me not to think so much?

In sooth I know not why I am so sad.
It wearies me, you say it wearies you. I am a gadfly like Socrates.
You should try to be one some time.
It is amusing. Stable equilibrium - The response to a small shift in position is forces that tend to restore the equilibrium.

Unstable equilibrium - The response to a small perturbation is forces that tend to cause cause the object to move even farther away.

Neutral equilibrium - If the system is displaced a small amount, it will stay in the new state.

When sleeping, I am in stable equilibrium. Hit me with your best shot.
When studying, I am in unstable equilibrium. Do not disturb.
When doing every thing else, I am in neutral equilibrium. So be it.

It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
- Ronald Reagan I have just finished reading Epic by Conor Kostick.

You know, I was thinking, if this world was a role-playing game, then currently society is stressing extremely heavily on the attributeintelligence. What of strength, agility, charisma or wisdom? Where is the balance? Where is the Aristotelian Mean, the middle way?

My world I perceive is grey and dull. Perhaps, because I have no hope for the future. Perhaps, because I have nothing to look forward to. Perhaps, because I feel detached from this world. Perhaps, because nothing matters to me.

Fact is, I am having conflicts within myself. All I feel is dissonance, dissonance, dissonance and dissonance. I cannot come to terms with myself. Just like the example in the book, I am wrestling with myself. What do I want out of life?

If a man is evil, do you blame the people who educated him? If a new generation suffers a decadence of morals, is it the fault of the previous generation? If the previous generation was flawed in their educating, should the preceding generation be blamed? Are we moving towards infinite regression?

Occam's razor - Go simple. Fault the individual. Make me the sole liability for my selfishness, because I knowingly chose to be this way. If you know what I know, you would feel so small, so insignificant, so helpless, so worthless. That we are all just cosmic dust.

I have faith. Faith that the other religions are wrong.

What is the origin of life? I confess I do not know. But I do know that I will never find the answer in this life. I push the question to one side.

Happy-go-lucky, I am. I am tired of questioning.
I get no answers.
What is objective?
It seems every thing is relative.

I just want to lie down and forget every thing.
So I can be happy.

Maybe dementia is a blessing in disguise after all.

Why did God make ants? To help us better understand our relationship with Himself. Going to church is a waste of my time.

Disagree with me? Why not you explain to me how Christianity is the true religion? Also account for the fact that there are other major world religions with their own legion of believers.

Please do not give me examples of saints or martyrs or pious people as proof of true faith i.e. if Christianity was false they would not have sacrificed so much. You were probably never told about the herd-mentality. You might join a queue not knowing what you are queuing for only to find out later that they are just people standing in a line.

And when I see "Christians" around me behaving unlike Christ in their mannerism and attitudes I am led to assume that what they have is merely a token religion. If you really believe in Christ then make him the center of your life. Maybe I will be convinced then.

Numb by Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be,
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
I don't know what you are expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware,
I'm becoming this - all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this - all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware,
I'm becoming this - all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be The term 'insane' is itself inaccurate and open to wide and varied interpretation. Typically, the image of an insane person is that of one whose grip on reality is chronically loosened or severed; incapable of coherent thought or speech; unable to make logical, rational decisions; the old-fashioned image of the 'village idiot' is the prevalent one. No jury would have trouble finding a plea of insanity unreasonable when faced with someone who looked like that. But consider these three different types:

1. One who is of above average intelligence, who is charming and socially skilled; disarming, amoral, manipulative, insensitive to the feelings of others, unable to tolerate frustration, callous, unable to settle or make commitment.

2. One who is jumpy, irritable, finds it difficult to concentrate or make decisions; has trouble sleeping, has a poor appetite, and suffers from vague feelings of panic or nausea that leaves them exhausted.

3. One who has decreased sexual desire, loss of appetite, a slowing of the mental processes, a general feeling of hopelessness and despair, worthlessness and unattractiveness, delusions of physical decay and an expectation of punishment.

The first is a typical sociopath or borderline psychopath, the second suffers from an anxiety neurosis, and the third a depressive disorder. None of these, put before a jury, would conform to the 'insane' image portrayed earlier. Yet all these three types are categorised as mental disorders by the two leading psychiatric diagnostic manuals, DSM-III-R (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Third Revision (1987))) and ICD10 (International Classification of Diseases).

Extract from here.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A304228

Wait, you mean I have a mental disorder? Today we were going through Natural Law for the first half of the lesson before proceeding to do a critical analysis of an article which was defending abortion.

Just how sacred is life to me?

Apparently, not very.

But significant enough that I am against abortion in conventional cases. In other exceptional cases such as rape resulting in a bastard child I will respect the decision of the mother, or non-mother.

Today I tried to do a handstand on the parallel bars and fell down onto the floor scaring all the little kids at the park. They probably think that I am mad.

One observation on the student development program. Instead of focusing on leadership skills, personal skills, social skills, anger management etcetera, the program should deal with apathy. For starters, I do not give hoot about all this "developmental modules" so to speak. Up next, I have gone through so many since I began schooling that the repetition is boring me. Finally, who cares about what the last reason is?

Let me tell you what I do care about. I care about living my life happily. And do not come preaching to me what happiness should mean to me. Come on, happiness to a family man would be to enjoy his family relationships and to support them. Happiness to a business man would be to rake in the green dollars. Happiness to a child would be to acquisition of a brand new game console. Happiness to a zealot would be to express his beliefs. Happiness to a missionary would be to witness his faith. Happiness to a thief would be to snag a big catch. Happiness to a terrorist would be seeing his enemies frightened faces. Happiness to me is to be happy-go-lucky.

We also discussed the issue of Apparent Good and Real Good.
Saint Thomas Aquinas proposed a few primary precepts that form the general purpose of human beings.
They should seek to live, work, reproduce, educate children, have an ordered society and worship God.

But then, if my concept of happiness is not right, what makes your own concept superior to mine, or even Saint Thomas' discourse on Natural Law?

Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares? Individualistic Doers are self-assured and very independent persons. They are quiet and realistic, very rational, extremely matter of fact persons. They strongly cultivate their individualism and enjoy applying their abilities to new tasks. But they are also very spontaneous and impulsive persons who like to follow their sudden inspirations. Individualistic Doers are good and precise observers who register everything which goes on around them. However, they are not so sensitive as regards interpersonal relations and are surprised when they occasionally rub someone up the wrong way with their direct and blunt manner. They are not particularly fond of obligations; but if you give them space, they are uncomplicated, sociable and cheerful individuals.

Individualistic Doers enjoy challenges - action and the odd kick are simply part of their life. They love tempting fate and many people of this type have risky hobbies such as skydiving or bungee jumping. This also applies to their workaday life. Individualistic Doers are in top form in critical situations; they can grasp situations, make decisions and take the necessary steps extremely quickly. Hierarchies and authorities impress them very little; if a superior is not competent, they will have little respect for him. Individualistic Doers like to take on responsibility. They have a marked sense of reality and always find the most suitable and expedient solution for a problem. They resolve conflicts openly and directly; here, they sometimes lack tact but are also very good at taking criticism themselves.

As friends, Individualistic Doers are loyal and devoted; they only have a few friendships but many of them last a lifetime. People enjoy talking to them because of their optimistic attitude to life and their ability to listen. However, they prefer to talk about mutual interests and hobbies rather than about theoretical or philosophical issues - they are not tangible enough for them. They need a lot of freedom and time to themselves in love relationships but, at the same time, they are also very tolerant towards their partners. It happens very seldom that Individualistic Doers fall head over heels in love. They are far too rational. They prefer to pick their partner on the basis of mutual interests and preferences which they want to share with that partner. Individualistic Doers are not particularly fond of effusive outbursts of emotion. They prefer to prove their love by their actions and expect the same of their partner. Whoever wishes to tie an Individualistic Doer to himself needs a lot of patience. It takes some time before this personality type is willing to get involved with another person.

From the website - http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html - to gauge your personality.

Those that are in bold are true most of the time. The part about liking to take on responsibility is cannot be further from the truth. Because, with responsibility comes obligations, and I remember highlighting that I am not particularly fond of obligations.

Talk about contradicting statements. I just want to thank all my friends who celebrated and even gave me presents. I am very surprised and glad.

Just a moment ago my eyes felt like they were going to go out of commission, and that meant that I would have just truncated my post there. But that was just now. I seem to have gained an extra boost of energy. Or maybe my brain is malfunctioning because I am supposed to be really tired. The time now is past one in the morning.

Anyway, today we continued the discussion about ethics, specifically utilitarianism. I noted down a question that interested me.

Why should an individual sacrifice his interests for the group?

For the benefit of the majority? But the majority is not always right. Should an individual just be a bystander when another is being mugged by thugs?

For our beliefs and principles, then. However, people have differing belief systems. Some may value self over others, and vice versa. So if I am selfish and place my own interests above those of others, why should I make the sacrifices?

Dissecting this further I can ask, if an individual should sacrifice his personal interests for the community, then to what degree is he required to give them up? Part of his income? His career? His freedom? His life? By the way, all Singaporean men are expected to sacrifice their lives for the Republic if the need arises; That is why there is National Service - to prepare us. It holds that varying hierarchies and prioritizing of values would affect this degree of self-giving.

Putting the argument simply: Which is of more worth, Your individual interest in question or the indicated interest of the group? All very subjective.

I cannot believe I allowed myself to fall into a guilt trip today. I hate it when that happens!

Standards are wonderful.
Everyone should have one!

I do not believe in standards, damn it. So stop giving me orders and maybe I will be more receptive to advice. What makes today special?

I sprayed a young lizard down into the sewage through the filter cover with the shower head. Hopefully it does not come back with a vengeance as some giant water-resistant mutant amphibious monster.

I guess, that is a pretty unique thing to do today.
Other than that, today is the last day of the holidays: A time for weeping and gnashing of teeth. To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and affection of children;
To learn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a little bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Notice how he did not mention obtaining a degree, landing a good job, earning big bucks, attending social events, going window shopping, bossing people around.

Not that those activities I listed above will prevent myself from succeeding in life, by his standards. I just mean that those are not a necessity.

Anyway, I am about to go on a Ralph Waldo Emerson quoting spree.

Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.
He sure thought this one through.

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
Sounds like an economist to me.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Then comes the question of, who am I?

Solitude is impractical and yet society is fatal.
Sure describes my own opinions right now.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
If you cannot be stupid in front of them, who can you be stupid in front of? Or you are not allowed to be stupid at all?

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Well this quote is going to make slaves of all of us.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
And this quote is going to make rebels of all of us.

Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood or appreciated.
Maybe because people are constantly changing. Just like trying to keep up with news. By the time you know it, the "news" is already old.

I hate the giving of the hand unless the whole man accompanies it.
If you want to help, be sincere about it. If you want to be bitter or sulky about it, then leave me to the vultures. Wait, maybe you should still save me. Because even if I hate the strings attached, I still might be able to accept the terms and conditions.

If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground.
Unless you do not mind me stepping all over you.

Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.
On the contrary, bad manners do not need any support.

In every society some men are born to rule, and some to advise.
He conveniently left out that some men are born to be ruled. Now look what I did. I vandalized a pretty picture.

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed.
Methinks our safety is in a big sturdy boat.

Men's actions are too strong for them. Show me a man who has acted, and who has not been the victim and slave of his action.
This one rings true. Very true.

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
Another quote I find immutable.

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity, but in being uninteresting.
That explains why I want to be uninteresting some times. Because I hate the limelight.

What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour.
This is funny. It actually made me laugh. Making a mental note to apply this quote against people who want too much time (including myself).

We must be our own before we can be another's.
Basically, I must accept myself before others can grow to accept me.

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.
Carpe Diem! If I went to the enjoy the lustrous flora and fauna. If I went to cherish the azure blue skies above my head. If I went to sit next to a man on a bench in the park.

What if the man is but a poor beggar?
What if the man is the sovereign king of the world?
He is but still a man.

How should one gauge the worth of a person? Are all men equal? Ideally, yes, we are all equal. But the truth is, people have different calibres and capabilities. Some people are worthless, while others are important. How do I decide who falls under which category? How do I judge? What criteria do I work with?

I will present you with an example to distinguish a "universal" criteria. Suppose a man lends a helping hand to his brother in need. Another refuses to provide aid, even though he is able to. Who is the better man? Obviously, the former. Why is this so? Because we have been indoctrinated since young that helping others is a goodness.

Moving on to a more ambiguous example: Suppose a man assists his brother who was about to die, but his brother is an evil man. Another refuses to save the brother, for the simple reason that the brother might commit more evil upon being saved. Who is the better man? This would depend on the individual in question. Some might say the former, some the latter. Kantian Ethics (i.e. Duty first) versus Utilitarianism (i.e. Greatest good for the greatest number).

Dilemmas like that really throw people off their usual comfortable patterns. A man who has done much evil in his past but repents and now does some good. Is he a bane or boon to society?

Who am I, another man, to judge people? Yet I still do. Instead, I will not impose my opinions on others. I will mind my own business. I have accepted that there are many things I will never know.
And I am content.
Further struggling would only lead to ugliness.
I do not want to be a dark character with troubling thoughts.
So I am just going to sit down and relax.

And relax.
And relax.
And relax.

And keep smiling. My cousin pointed this out to me.
You are always in doubt.

I am aware that nowadays, I punctuate my sentences with "I guess", "maybe", "I think", "suppose so", "might", etcetera. The reason is because, I am never sure. I am never certain. I am always in doubt. Most of the time, at least.

Probability. That is why I cannot be sure. I only whether it is likely to happen, or how much risk it entails. I can never guarantee a hundred percent success because there is always the possibility of failing. Sure, you can say that if I put my mind to it, I will triumph over the obstacles. The crux of the matter is, chances are that I will be victorious. But - there is always a but - I might, how ever measly the percentage, fail.

You see, I do not mean to be a prick. But I always want evidence to support an argument. I cannot take words at face value. I want proof.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
- Freidrich Neitzsche

Always explore all possible cases.
Who knows? All might be right; one might be correct; or none might be true at all.
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