Now that the Chinese written papers are over , life drags a little .
Life always does . There is always time to waste if you want to .
I love the sun . The rays warm the earth and give energy to all things .
It also gives me a tan .
I am going to start appreciating everything around me henceforth . What is the point of talking ?

Small talk , big talk .
What is there at all to talking ?
Nothing essential to transpire .

You and I , we still talk though .
For what , I do not know . I was going through some old songs today . I found this lovely song !

Cartoon heroes are really created from imaginations , I think creativity is one of the most unique gift we have . What they do is what I just can't do . A pity , but that is what they are for , a substitute to live my fantasies . Joe Shuster probably thought that it would be cool if he could have superpowers . Highly likely that he did not have special abilities to be superman . Why not just conceive Superman ?

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever

Aqua - Cartoon Heroes

We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme

Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon - Toon
Town - Town
Party Anyone can grow old , not everyone can grow up .

I was a struck by this statement when I first heard it during RME today .

The phrase was further explained that just by snoozing , snoring and sleeping , I can grow old . Maintain the thin white hair and pruned beard . Wrinkled skin and aching joints . Slower reactions and little responses . Yes , this must be what I would be when I have grown old .

The five aspects of maturity that I am taught in RME , the five aspects to growing up . In no particular order - all are equally important - Spiritually , Socially , Emotionally , Physically , Intellectually . Five aspects to attend to , to improve on . The only time I will ever stop growing up is when I choose not to make decisions for myself . The catch is , allowing someone to make a choice for myself is also a decision in itself . Confusing ? Another time I will stop growing up is when I die . This part is not so bemusing , the meaning is clear enough .

I have grown about a decade and a half old already . I wonder what benchmark there is to show me how much I have grown up .

Grown ups equates to adults ? Deal , or no deal . I do not watch the show but my family does . I do not really understand how the show works , so I was reading up an article on Wikipedia just now .

Deal or No Deal involves a contestant, a host/presenter, a banker, and a number of briefcases (or boxes), with each having a different (and initially unknown) value. Each game starts with the contestant selecting one of the cases—this first case's value is not known until the game ends. During the rest of the game, the contestant opens the rest of the cases, one at a time, revealing its value. Each time after a specified number of cases are opened, the banker offers the contestant a certain amount of money to end the game. If the contestant takes an offer, the game ends, otherwise the contestant ends up with the money from the first case.

So either way I can walk away with money if I participate . Talk about excess cash . Have you ever dreamed of being a tycoon , possessing huge properties , living in a mansion upon a hill , luxury cars ? I have . The dream is fleeting , sometimes I just day dream about it , most of the time it just remains in my subconsciousness . Not an ideal I am enraptured by , just a little wisp I fiddle with tentatively .

Pretend I am living the high life , spending much and earning much more . Cash being in so much excess I hardly have anything to do with the crisp bank notes . Humongous vaults of treasures the wealth is almost obscene . Have work off these currencies of mine . Just like burning off calories . I think , better than burning off the good dollars , I should write seven-digit checks to charitable organisations . In fact , I would be killing two birds with one stone .

Who are you if you donate your life savings instead ? That would only amount to a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of my total donations . Save for the fact that you are old and about to depart from the world . What if you are a young bubbly new age adult , and you do the same exact same thing ? Live the next few decades in utter poverty and substantially , if you even survive that long .

The former donates as if God were raining gold coins from the heavens . The latter produces much less but feels the pinch . A pretty painful pinch at that .

You know , I am ready to wave a white flag above my head . That is the harsh truth , that is how the gears in the world turn . The thought just does not really count . You only want the end results . If I give , what does the intent matter anyway . You can continue neglecting the thought and agenda of others . I still think appreciation stems from the motive of the other party , not of the actions . Then again , I am just another tooth in one of the gears of the world . Conform , conform , the little voice never rests , conform , conform to the rules .

The world still insists that it is not the thought that counts ; It is the quantity of money involved . It is always about money , is it not ?
But then , who can blame the world ? I am going to make him an offer he cannot refuse .

This sentence looks as if in jest . As if the statement is just a verbal farce to quell further verbal demands . I promise this , I agree to that , I will complete these , I will handle those . Be at ease , stop harassing me . You cannot refuse such a beautiful offer . However in the end , the end results are repulsive and you reject it anyway . Such are tenuous agreements .

I wonder if I can ever make you an offer you cannot refuse , and stick to the deal . To do that , I would need to know what would satisfy , what would strike a chord with you . Finding that out is only a meager portion of the full extent of this pursuit , I suppose . What if you want world peace , what if you want to have equality in all the peoples , what if you want to be the richest , what if you want to be the most famous , what if you want a trustworthy circle of friends , what if you want a loving family ? Impossible , not really . Tough , yes . Worth it , maybe .

Maybe that is just a reiteration of my own personal goals and aims in life . Maybe that is a carbon-copy of what society considers as a fruitful and joyful life . Maybe I would not be such a fussy customer with my own whims . I can scrap that whole list into the wastepaper basket .

Say , give me the things I desire , I will want more . No ? But that is how the world works . You just keep working to earn more and more money . When will you stop ? When you earn enough ? No , after the first million you will want your second . Give me the world and I will want the universe .

Just a thought , if I were content with my life today , I doubt I would need an offer at all . Is that not what the "offer he cannot refuse" is all about ? Greed . I want something , I am presented with it , I claim it . Take away this greed and your offer becomes invalid .

I should just debunk my own stance on what life means . Life is not about striving to insinuate myself into this civilization , clambering to the top . Maybe life is just about enjoying the simple pleasures of what I already have .

Now try and make me an offer I cannot refuse . I'm sitting here in a boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

I wonder how , I wonder why .

Tick-tock the second hand keeps moving .
There goes my one life crawling away .
Stare at the analog clock turning .
Say good bye to the past few seconds .

I wonder how , I wonder why .
But what it is I wonder , I do not know .

And all that I can see
And all that I can see
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree

I guess this is how time passes most of the time .
Is it not ?
Waiting for something to happen .
Something , who knows what that is .

Why not make something happen ?
Well , I would rather wait .
Space out and drum my fingers .
I have had enough of adrenalinal rush for the moment .
I hereby allocate this period to gazing at the yellow lemon tree . Bryan is smart
Super
Masculine
And
Really
Tricky

Everything here is false save for the "Really Tricky" description .

This really shows the extent of your Egoism , does it ?
Maybe next time you will think twice about typing into my blogger , haha . You always make mountains out of molehills .
If you read this and think , hey this ain't true .
So now you want to argue with this ?
Well , then you will prove my point pretty much .

Now you can guess that I have not managed my time properly .
So what ? There is no problem .
I run my own life . I have very little time to spare these days .
Now you come along and tell me , there is always time .
It is just how you arrange it .
I guess , that may be true .
I will try and make time after my cross country run on the morrow .
Then I may be able to do some quiet reflection again .

I must be a lousy organiser of time . Oops , I accidentally started my music player in the lift .

Terribly embarrassed . Thank God , no it is not Friday , but thank God because it was not on full blast and not playing any odd song on the list . Odd is used with reference to my music files . I have many weird songs in my phone which , I guess , many people do not like . So if I call something odd , well that would be an extreme case .

The situation came and passed pretty quickly , case closed . Out of the lift and mingle into the mess . Turn invisible , blend as one with the mass . Become just another nameless person in the crowd . After all , it is easy to be who you are when no one knows your name .

Sometimes I just feel so disconnected with the people around me . As if the people all around me were living and breathing , but only inside . Outside they are possessed as zombies and care little for their surroundings . Being in the midst of all these , it is uncomfortable and unsettling .

Sometimes I feel so close to the people around me . So close , they know me and see through me as one would with a plastic sheet . So close , that I understand them too . So close , it scares me . So close , I just want out and run away from these disturbing relationships .

Well , sociality has always been an odd subject to touch on for me . Social niceties were never my forte . I fluctuate between non-objective chatter , and straight to the point dialogs . Whichever suits me at the moment .

Whichever suits me , not you . I can always believe investing pays off . The returns come sooner or later . All I need is the patience to hold on , a strong confidence in the commodities I support and certainly good fate .

Surely if I put in my utmost best , the rewards will be a hundredfold , even thousandfold , the proportions being almost intangible . I can reap the fruits of study in examinations in the form of a results slip . I can rake in the spoils of training manifested in perfectly executed drills . I can draw in profits of regular speeches and acts by developing charm and charisma . The list of examples may go on indefinitely .

Surely if I persevere with courage , fearing everything but bowing to nothing , the transaction will be completed . My sacrifice to my gain . As always , the sacrifice comes as the former . I may whine , complain , sulk , throw a tantrum and discard this and treat it as a loss , never to claim back my resources . After all , if I breach the conditions of contract , the down payment is wasted and consumed and never returned . So I decide , yes I must push through , I must grind my teeth and brace myself for trial and ordeal . All for pleasure of swallowing my apples grown from the apple seed .

Surely with my fullest efforts pumped into this deal , along with unwavering faith , I must have a fulfilled trade cradled in my arms . Nay , I think , should something untoward happen to me along the way , I could kiss my dreams a sorry goodbye . Shattered by an accident in a moment , or maybe over a period of time . Shattered nevertheless . Pursuit would have then been in vain , a failed investment of mine . I wonder , I have nothing left now , my capital had all rested in this gamble . Lady Luck had decided to frown and reduce my balance to zilch .

Now this market has just become another den of gamblers , with risk and chances taken . I suppose , no pain no gain , but sometimes the twisted mind of sadism warps this into , all pain no gain . I dare not move . I sit here silent and still , pondering the worth of things , calculating risk against reward . I hold my cards close to me , as if they are an extension of myself , and that they are : A part of me .

Do I dare to leap into the fray and fend off all onslaughts ? Am I prepared to commit myself as a whole to achieve greater ? Questions as such keep swirling aimlessly in a myriad of thoughts . I am unable to pin them down , focus on them and answer them . Just how many men have had the conviction that they were truly one in mind and body , ready to be cleansed in raging waters , ready to be purified in intense fires , yet failed . Not because of any flaws which mar them , no , they were unblemished . They dreamed and believed and were capable . They fought the good fight . They fought and lost .

So without thought , without any assurance or insurance , I proceed and sign the terms . Terms with too many intricate details which I will never be able to read finish in a single lifetime . Good choice or bad choice , I have only this to say , time will tell . Red Alert draws the line as clear as crystal , surrender is not an option . Sitting on the fence and putting off any action is as good as waving a white flag . Nay , that I will not do . Hunkering down in a peaceful pasture of green glades will not earn me . The only 'benefit' here is demonstrated in a watch , how time grows shorter and shorter . Indecision will rust me .

Shoot me down , blindly I will place all on these stakes of the barren battlefield . I rather do something than breed dirt , filth and dust . At least a rolling stone gathers no moss .

After all ,
I can always believe investing pays off . Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War .
Imperium Thought for the Day :
There is no such thing as innocence , only degrees of guilt .

Are you innocent ? I think naught .
Is your guilt a heavy burden ? I say naught .
Does it matter ? Nay , I guess naught .

In the end , our Ka sinks down on the scale while the scale with the Feather of Truth rises up .
You are in the same boat as I am .
I do not expect much from you , we are equal .
So do not portray yourself as a higher self , a perfect being .
I will not demonstrate as such either .

Iniquity equals you and I ,
Have a good day . They say the world is too big ,
Too large to handle alone .
No one person can do it ,
This massive task left to God .

They say God is too unreal ,
Too unreal to be present .
No gods dictate a man's life ,
This thing called fate is one's own .

They say fate is too cunning ,
Too cunning to escape from .
No relief till fangs bite in ,
This must be the web of life .

They say life is too insane ,
Too insane to understand .
No logic but emotions ,
This I guess is very true .

I may claim within reason ,
Justify any action .

But all these analysing ,
I now begin realising .

Well it is just a facade ,
Some lousy excuse I made .

Feelings are the true trigger ,
As I was soon to figure .

I would have never fiddled ,
One with feelings unbridled .

Tensions run high with danger ,
Like a taut string made of anger .

All sense I spake has been lost ,
Failed to make you see the cost .

We both are of emotions ,
Emotions driving our thought .
As booze may well influence ,
So may chemical balance .

Maybe then I should suppress ,
Suppress this devil in me .
As drugs may induce a numb ,
So may cold make me succumb . My mind is in a state of eudaimonia .
I do not feel like philosophising about the ills of this diseased world at present .

I will layout a rough break-down of the day instead .
Been such a long long time since I have really given a summary of today .
So forgive me if it bores you , a person once told me that my repetition of the events of the day gone past was anything but exciting . Maybe it is just my mundane life with a flair for indulging in uninteresting matters .

I awoke this morning . Breakfast was a piece of wrap with constituents I do not know . Crunches like curry puff but was not filled with potato or chicken or whatnots . I climbed back into bed , and drifted into ... My alarm woke me at 0637h ... again at 0639h ... and the final one at 0642h . Used the washroom and got myself changed .

School , a jolly good welcome . I walked up three storeys to outside my classroom . Laid upon the bench in a futile attempt to catch more sleep . As it turns out , my friends have a knack for keeping me awake: prodding me , looking through my stuff , etcetera .

I finally gain my rest , and Reuben tells me wake up and go down , assembly is starting . Such a surprise at why I was left at peace .

Nothing interesting happens at assembly , I tell you . All the love , joy and peace is replaced by monotonous droning from the audio system . I managed to pass back the tupperware back to Mr Wong , complete with nougats in exchange for the leftover lamb chops from the barbecue .

Well time to go back to class and pass time till the first period starts . Killing time , killing time . Here she comes . Chinese intensive commences . We go through the two letters we wrote yesterday . That took up the whole two periods . Do not really want to comment as there is really nothing to say .

I shall not discuss what happened during math , nothing much for me though .

For PE , well see , half the class thought Chinese Intensive would over take the period , and hence had no attire to change to . We ran our 2.4km , and I am disappointed . I ran 11.27min , I used to run faster in Secondary Three . The only consolation I can get is , hey , Mid-year examinations have just finished . I probably put on a lot of weight with all that cramming knowledge making my brain mass increase .

Recess offered some form of respite . Eugene , Lennon and I lying on the bench talking with Gabriel and Hwa Xiong . Prefect duty , followed with RME . They screened a Y2K + 1 ancient show . Interestingly enough , the show did not induce drowsiness , considering we do not have the head or tail of that drama series .

RME ended leaving a whiff of dread within me . Two more letters to write , two more periods dedicated to Chinese . Needless to say , there is nothing note-worthy here , except I can actually help my friends . They ask me how to write this or that character , and I know how to ! Viva la Chinese .

The bell rings . Hell , most of the class ain't finished with their letters , and the Higher Chinese boys with their written papers . Jian Pheng came around with the training plans . Pretty skimpy on defining specific drills to work on , but all the slots were taken care of . After some adjustments and about ten fifteen minutes , the plans looked pretty enough without looking at the handwriting .

I went down with Ce Qing to buy a $5 rip off photocopying card with only 167 credits (weird number , maybe it was used before , but I am not complaining - it will probably be my first and last card I would be purchasing) from the photo-stating lady . We made 89 copies of the Particulars Form .

Bought a drink and sipped at it till I left with Ying Lun to the CCAB . I tarried there till almost five , then I called mum and was fetched home . Zi Xiang thinks I am crazy cause I like playing in the Sun and talk so much nonsense . I do not contradict that . I do love the Sun and I do not mind speaking spontaneously .

Bryan says , DotA at six - Waiting for a friend too . I say , okay set .
At ten past five he says , hey I am going to nap .
Nap means he will wake at six , and join the fray . Nay , it only means he is going to sleep till the morrow .
Ended up playing alone in the hostile and unfriendly world of Lordaeron , Battle.Net . A nice game with Zues , I was satisfied .

Chat conversations over dinner , and after dinner . Right till now . I guess , now is the time to move on to other things , and desist the worship of this American God called Computer .

I am currently reading a book , American Gods by Neil Gaiman .

Some food for thought . Read even if you are on a diet .
Omnia munda mundis - To the pure , all things are pure .
It may pass out undigested . Yesterday did not feel like a single day at all .
A Math paper over , Tuition , Soccer at CCAB , Swim , BBQ , Taxis and buses .
Amazing how so many things can be crammed into a single day .

Just like how four Chinese periods can be slotted into each and every single school day with effect from today .

Twenty-four hours in a day .
Who ever decided that when the sun rose it was morning , when the sun set it was evening , and when the moon hung in the velvet sky it was night .
What made seven days a week , four weeks a month , twelve months a year ...

Omnes vulnerant , ultima necat
Every hour wounds , the last kills .

Truly , and each wound will make me what others are not .

Time is of essence . A dimension I accept as all on the earth accept . If everything existed without the guidelines of time , my life would merely be an instant yet an eternity . As I run through the race of life , I am not covering a scalar distance . Nay , I am sitting on the hands of a large clock . I am passing time , that is what the race is about . That is really what life is , is it not ? Time .

What an old topic .
I doubt many people know the title of this blog . When I first established this , I dubbed it Time - That's what the world revolves about .
That was almost three years past .
Maybe that is a question posed to every sentient being .

Life is short , people say . Yet the time on our hands is evidently more than enough . People waste their time on less than important issues , channeling too much effort into ineffective and unworthy causes . There is enough time to do whatever I am meant to do in this 'short' life . Just whether I want to or not .

If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give. Oh my sleeping child the world's so wild
but you've build your own paradise
That's one reason why I'll cover you sleeping child

Sure got that part right .
The world's so damned wild .

"Yet the 26-year-old has been sleeping in a reclining seat in an Internet cafe every night for the past month since he lost his steady office job and his apartment.

It's cheaper than a hotel, offers access to the Internet and hundreds of Manga comic books, and even has a microwave and a shower where he can wash in the morning before heading off to one of his temporary jobs ranging from cleaning to basic office work.

Asked how long he plans to go on living like that, Yamashita smiles and shrugs."

Stop telling me how I am to survive in a world so harsh .
Tell me how to calm this world .

I wonder why I am giving up my ideals .
I just need some fresh air .

I'm gonna cover my sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wild I am beginning to question the worth of kin and kith , again .
What is the point of conversing on and on ?
All roads point to return to being reticent .

I should just shut up .
And you shut up too . In the midst of examinations .

Does the Mid-Years seem to be the only happening thing around here ? Superficially , without doubt . How has my life bent under the weight of this new burden ? How does my lifestyle adapt to the introduction of papers and more papers ?

I do many unorthodox manners during examination periods . I still recall previous occasions where I would extract my Tamagotchi Digimon and start caring for that virtual pet of mine . Other times I would be sleeping at impossibly early times , say nine at night . These days though , I read .

Nay , not textbooks . Novels , short stories and materials as such . I found a captivating trilogy . In fact , I am already finished with two . I have yet to consume the last , except I do not think it is in the house . I will have to borrow or purchase the book one day .

This atmosphere of examinations sure influences my routine .

Wonder what will happen when it all ends . David walked into the valley
with a stone clenched in his hand
he was only a boy, but he knew
someone must take a stand

There will always be a valley
always mountains one must scale
There will always be perilous waters
Which someone must sail!

Into valleys, into waters,
Into storms that rip the night!
Don't give in, don't give up
But give thanks for the glorious fight!

You can tremble, you can fear it,
But keep your fighting spirit
Alive, boys!
Let the shiver of it sting you
Fling into battle! Spring to
Your feet, boys!
Never hold back your step for a moment!
Never doubt that your courage will grow!
hold you head even higher
and into the fire we go

Are there mountains that surround us?
Are there walls that block the way?
Knock them down, strip them back, boys,
And forward and into the fray!

Into terror, into valor,
Charge ahead - no, never turn!
yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!

Someone has to face the valley
Rush in! We have to rally
And win, boys!
When the world is saying not to,
By God, you know you've got to
March on, boys!

Never hold back your step for a moment!
Never doubt that your courage will grow!
Hold your head even higher
And into the fire we go!

Let the lightning strike!
Let the flash of it shock you!
Choke your fears away -
Pull as tight as a wire.
Let the fever spike!
Let the force of it rock you!
We will have our day,
Sailing into the fire!

Someone has to face the valley!
Rush in! We have to rally
And win, boys!
When the world is saying not to,
By God, you know you've got to
March on, boys!

Never hold back your step for a moment!
Look alive! Oh, your courage will grow!
Yes, it's higher and higher
And into the fire we go!
Into fire!
Onward ho! I was about to begin a post to veto the examinations . Even though my voice is small and will not be heard , I thought penning my thoughts would be amusing enough . I was about to ... Until you reminded me of age old question .

Where am I meant to be?
The question alone overpowers me in waves of doubts . The pest that gnaws at my foundations , hungry to know the truth .
What is my destiny?

You startled me when you cursed this world , and immediately asked why you were born . I have no answer to that , for yourself and my own . As I silently turn and examine this vexing puzzle I have before me , a sudden whimsy comes to mind . Just wondering mum , why were you born ? I guess my compulsion to direct the question away from myself is explained with dread of receiving naught but abstract advice peppered with wisdom of any adage . Why was I born , nay , the inquiry is all but aimed wrongly . So , why were you born ?

Just know , there is so much in common between you and I . Our differences , I daresay , complement each other . In hindsight , we really had memorable moments . This most certainly is not intoxication from a dozen romantic tales . I care less to explain , but yet I would lest tongues wag indiscriminately . This is brotherhood .

Strength and honour .
Strength and honour . Mayday today .
I admit there are many things that are left undone .
Yet I am so happy and content with my life at the moment .

Oh I wish life was a fairytale .

Educate men without faith and you but make them clever devils .
Older Post | Newer Post

Now that the Chinese written papers are over , life drags a little .
Life always does . There is always time to waste if you want to .
I love the sun . The rays warm the earth and give energy to all things .
It also gives me a tan .
I am going to start appreciating everything around me henceforth . What is the point of talking ?

Small talk , big talk .
What is there at all to talking ?
Nothing essential to transpire .

You and I , we still talk though .
For what , I do not know . I was going through some old songs today . I found this lovely song !

Cartoon heroes are really created from imaginations , I think creativity is one of the most unique gift we have . What they do is what I just can't do . A pity , but that is what they are for , a substitute to live my fantasies . Joe Shuster probably thought that it would be cool if he could have superpowers . Highly likely that he did not have special abilities to be superman . Why not just conceive Superman ?

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever

Aqua - Cartoon Heroes

We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme

Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon - Toon
Town - Town
Party Anyone can grow old , not everyone can grow up .

I was a struck by this statement when I first heard it during RME today .

The phrase was further explained that just by snoozing , snoring and sleeping , I can grow old . Maintain the thin white hair and pruned beard . Wrinkled skin and aching joints . Slower reactions and little responses . Yes , this must be what I would be when I have grown old .

The five aspects of maturity that I am taught in RME , the five aspects to growing up . In no particular order - all are equally important - Spiritually , Socially , Emotionally , Physically , Intellectually . Five aspects to attend to , to improve on . The only time I will ever stop growing up is when I choose not to make decisions for myself . The catch is , allowing someone to make a choice for myself is also a decision in itself . Confusing ? Another time I will stop growing up is when I die . This part is not so bemusing , the meaning is clear enough .

I have grown about a decade and a half old already . I wonder what benchmark there is to show me how much I have grown up .

Grown ups equates to adults ? Deal , or no deal . I do not watch the show but my family does . I do not really understand how the show works , so I was reading up an article on Wikipedia just now .

Deal or No Deal involves a contestant, a host/presenter, a banker, and a number of briefcases (or boxes), with each having a different (and initially unknown) value. Each game starts with the contestant selecting one of the cases—this first case's value is not known until the game ends. During the rest of the game, the contestant opens the rest of the cases, one at a time, revealing its value. Each time after a specified number of cases are opened, the banker offers the contestant a certain amount of money to end the game. If the contestant takes an offer, the game ends, otherwise the contestant ends up with the money from the first case.

So either way I can walk away with money if I participate . Talk about excess cash . Have you ever dreamed of being a tycoon , possessing huge properties , living in a mansion upon a hill , luxury cars ? I have . The dream is fleeting , sometimes I just day dream about it , most of the time it just remains in my subconsciousness . Not an ideal I am enraptured by , just a little wisp I fiddle with tentatively .

Pretend I am living the high life , spending much and earning much more . Cash being in so much excess I hardly have anything to do with the crisp bank notes . Humongous vaults of treasures the wealth is almost obscene . Have work off these currencies of mine . Just like burning off calories . I think , better than burning off the good dollars , I should write seven-digit checks to charitable organisations . In fact , I would be killing two birds with one stone .

Who are you if you donate your life savings instead ? That would only amount to a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of my total donations . Save for the fact that you are old and about to depart from the world . What if you are a young bubbly new age adult , and you do the same exact same thing ? Live the next few decades in utter poverty and substantially , if you even survive that long .

The former donates as if God were raining gold coins from the heavens . The latter produces much less but feels the pinch . A pretty painful pinch at that .

You know , I am ready to wave a white flag above my head . That is the harsh truth , that is how the gears in the world turn . The thought just does not really count . You only want the end results . If I give , what does the intent matter anyway . You can continue neglecting the thought and agenda of others . I still think appreciation stems from the motive of the other party , not of the actions . Then again , I am just another tooth in one of the gears of the world . Conform , conform , the little voice never rests , conform , conform to the rules .

The world still insists that it is not the thought that counts ; It is the quantity of money involved . It is always about money , is it not ?
But then , who can blame the world ? I am going to make him an offer he cannot refuse .

This sentence looks as if in jest . As if the statement is just a verbal farce to quell further verbal demands . I promise this , I agree to that , I will complete these , I will handle those . Be at ease , stop harassing me . You cannot refuse such a beautiful offer . However in the end , the end results are repulsive and you reject it anyway . Such are tenuous agreements .

I wonder if I can ever make you an offer you cannot refuse , and stick to the deal . To do that , I would need to know what would satisfy , what would strike a chord with you . Finding that out is only a meager portion of the full extent of this pursuit , I suppose . What if you want world peace , what if you want to have equality in all the peoples , what if you want to be the richest , what if you want to be the most famous , what if you want a trustworthy circle of friends , what if you want a loving family ? Impossible , not really . Tough , yes . Worth it , maybe .

Maybe that is just a reiteration of my own personal goals and aims in life . Maybe that is a carbon-copy of what society considers as a fruitful and joyful life . Maybe I would not be such a fussy customer with my own whims . I can scrap that whole list into the wastepaper basket .

Say , give me the things I desire , I will want more . No ? But that is how the world works . You just keep working to earn more and more money . When will you stop ? When you earn enough ? No , after the first million you will want your second . Give me the world and I will want the universe .

Just a thought , if I were content with my life today , I doubt I would need an offer at all . Is that not what the "offer he cannot refuse" is all about ? Greed . I want something , I am presented with it , I claim it . Take away this greed and your offer becomes invalid .

I should just debunk my own stance on what life means . Life is not about striving to insinuate myself into this civilization , clambering to the top . Maybe life is just about enjoying the simple pleasures of what I already have .

Now try and make me an offer I cannot refuse . I'm sitting here in a boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens, and I wonder

I wonder how , I wonder why .

Tick-tock the second hand keeps moving .
There goes my one life crawling away .
Stare at the analog clock turning .
Say good bye to the past few seconds .

I wonder how , I wonder why .
But what it is I wonder , I do not know .

And all that I can see
And all that I can see
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree

I guess this is how time passes most of the time .
Is it not ?
Waiting for something to happen .
Something , who knows what that is .

Why not make something happen ?
Well , I would rather wait .
Space out and drum my fingers .
I have had enough of adrenalinal rush for the moment .
I hereby allocate this period to gazing at the yellow lemon tree . Bryan is smart
Super
Masculine
And
Really
Tricky

Everything here is false save for the "Really Tricky" description .

This really shows the extent of your Egoism , does it ?
Maybe next time you will think twice about typing into my blogger , haha . You always make mountains out of molehills .
If you read this and think , hey this ain't true .
So now you want to argue with this ?
Well , then you will prove my point pretty much .

Now you can guess that I have not managed my time properly .
So what ? There is no problem .
I run my own life . I have very little time to spare these days .
Now you come along and tell me , there is always time .
It is just how you arrange it .
I guess , that may be true .
I will try and make time after my cross country run on the morrow .
Then I may be able to do some quiet reflection again .

I must be a lousy organiser of time . Oops , I accidentally started my music player in the lift .

Terribly embarrassed . Thank God , no it is not Friday , but thank God because it was not on full blast and not playing any odd song on the list . Odd is used with reference to my music files . I have many weird songs in my phone which , I guess , many people do not like . So if I call something odd , well that would be an extreme case .

The situation came and passed pretty quickly , case closed . Out of the lift and mingle into the mess . Turn invisible , blend as one with the mass . Become just another nameless person in the crowd . After all , it is easy to be who you are when no one knows your name .

Sometimes I just feel so disconnected with the people around me . As if the people all around me were living and breathing , but only inside . Outside they are possessed as zombies and care little for their surroundings . Being in the midst of all these , it is uncomfortable and unsettling .

Sometimes I feel so close to the people around me . So close , they know me and see through me as one would with a plastic sheet . So close , that I understand them too . So close , it scares me . So close , I just want out and run away from these disturbing relationships .

Well , sociality has always been an odd subject to touch on for me . Social niceties were never my forte . I fluctuate between non-objective chatter , and straight to the point dialogs . Whichever suits me at the moment .

Whichever suits me , not you . I can always believe investing pays off . The returns come sooner or later . All I need is the patience to hold on , a strong confidence in the commodities I support and certainly good fate .

Surely if I put in my utmost best , the rewards will be a hundredfold , even thousandfold , the proportions being almost intangible . I can reap the fruits of study in examinations in the form of a results slip . I can rake in the spoils of training manifested in perfectly executed drills . I can draw in profits of regular speeches and acts by developing charm and charisma . The list of examples may go on indefinitely .

Surely if I persevere with courage , fearing everything but bowing to nothing , the transaction will be completed . My sacrifice to my gain . As always , the sacrifice comes as the former . I may whine , complain , sulk , throw a tantrum and discard this and treat it as a loss , never to claim back my resources . After all , if I breach the conditions of contract , the down payment is wasted and consumed and never returned . So I decide , yes I must push through , I must grind my teeth and brace myself for trial and ordeal . All for pleasure of swallowing my apples grown from the apple seed .

Surely with my fullest efforts pumped into this deal , along with unwavering faith , I must have a fulfilled trade cradled in my arms . Nay , I think , should something untoward happen to me along the way , I could kiss my dreams a sorry goodbye . Shattered by an accident in a moment , or maybe over a period of time . Shattered nevertheless . Pursuit would have then been in vain , a failed investment of mine . I wonder , I have nothing left now , my capital had all rested in this gamble . Lady Luck had decided to frown and reduce my balance to zilch .

Now this market has just become another den of gamblers , with risk and chances taken . I suppose , no pain no gain , but sometimes the twisted mind of sadism warps this into , all pain no gain . I dare not move . I sit here silent and still , pondering the worth of things , calculating risk against reward . I hold my cards close to me , as if they are an extension of myself , and that they are : A part of me .

Do I dare to leap into the fray and fend off all onslaughts ? Am I prepared to commit myself as a whole to achieve greater ? Questions as such keep swirling aimlessly in a myriad of thoughts . I am unable to pin them down , focus on them and answer them . Just how many men have had the conviction that they were truly one in mind and body , ready to be cleansed in raging waters , ready to be purified in intense fires , yet failed . Not because of any flaws which mar them , no , they were unblemished . They dreamed and believed and were capable . They fought the good fight . They fought and lost .

So without thought , without any assurance or insurance , I proceed and sign the terms . Terms with too many intricate details which I will never be able to read finish in a single lifetime . Good choice or bad choice , I have only this to say , time will tell . Red Alert draws the line as clear as crystal , surrender is not an option . Sitting on the fence and putting off any action is as good as waving a white flag . Nay , that I will not do . Hunkering down in a peaceful pasture of green glades will not earn me . The only 'benefit' here is demonstrated in a watch , how time grows shorter and shorter . Indecision will rust me .

Shoot me down , blindly I will place all on these stakes of the barren battlefield . I rather do something than breed dirt , filth and dust . At least a rolling stone gathers no moss .

After all ,
I can always believe investing pays off . Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War .
Imperium Thought for the Day :
There is no such thing as innocence , only degrees of guilt .

Are you innocent ? I think naught .
Is your guilt a heavy burden ? I say naught .
Does it matter ? Nay , I guess naught .

In the end , our Ka sinks down on the scale while the scale with the Feather of Truth rises up .
You are in the same boat as I am .
I do not expect much from you , we are equal .
So do not portray yourself as a higher self , a perfect being .
I will not demonstrate as such either .

Iniquity equals you and I ,
Have a good day . They say the world is too big ,
Too large to handle alone .
No one person can do it ,
This massive task left to God .

They say God is too unreal ,
Too unreal to be present .
No gods dictate a man's life ,
This thing called fate is one's own .

They say fate is too cunning ,
Too cunning to escape from .
No relief till fangs bite in ,
This must be the web of life .

They say life is too insane ,
Too insane to understand .
No logic but emotions ,
This I guess is very true .

I may claim within reason ,
Justify any action .

But all these analysing ,
I now begin realising .

Well it is just a facade ,
Some lousy excuse I made .

Feelings are the true trigger ,
As I was soon to figure .

I would have never fiddled ,
One with feelings unbridled .

Tensions run high with danger ,
Like a taut string made of anger .

All sense I spake has been lost ,
Failed to make you see the cost .

We both are of emotions ,
Emotions driving our thought .
As booze may well influence ,
So may chemical balance .

Maybe then I should suppress ,
Suppress this devil in me .
As drugs may induce a numb ,
So may cold make me succumb . My mind is in a state of eudaimonia .
I do not feel like philosophising about the ills of this diseased world at present .

I will layout a rough break-down of the day instead .
Been such a long long time since I have really given a summary of today .
So forgive me if it bores you , a person once told me that my repetition of the events of the day gone past was anything but exciting . Maybe it is just my mundane life with a flair for indulging in uninteresting matters .

I awoke this morning . Breakfast was a piece of wrap with constituents I do not know . Crunches like curry puff but was not filled with potato or chicken or whatnots . I climbed back into bed , and drifted into ... My alarm woke me at 0637h ... again at 0639h ... and the final one at 0642h . Used the washroom and got myself changed .

School , a jolly good welcome . I walked up three storeys to outside my classroom . Laid upon the bench in a futile attempt to catch more sleep . As it turns out , my friends have a knack for keeping me awake: prodding me , looking through my stuff , etcetera .

I finally gain my rest , and Reuben tells me wake up and go down , assembly is starting . Such a surprise at why I was left at peace .

Nothing interesting happens at assembly , I tell you . All the love , joy and peace is replaced by monotonous droning from the audio system . I managed to pass back the tupperware back to Mr Wong , complete with nougats in exchange for the leftover lamb chops from the barbecue .

Well time to go back to class and pass time till the first period starts . Killing time , killing time . Here she comes . Chinese intensive commences . We go through the two letters we wrote yesterday . That took up the whole two periods . Do not really want to comment as there is really nothing to say .

I shall not discuss what happened during math , nothing much for me though .

For PE , well see , half the class thought Chinese Intensive would over take the period , and hence had no attire to change to . We ran our 2.4km , and I am disappointed . I ran 11.27min , I used to run faster in Secondary Three . The only consolation I can get is , hey , Mid-year examinations have just finished . I probably put on a lot of weight with all that cramming knowledge making my brain mass increase .

Recess offered some form of respite . Eugene , Lennon and I lying on the bench talking with Gabriel and Hwa Xiong . Prefect duty , followed with RME . They screened a Y2K + 1 ancient show . Interestingly enough , the show did not induce drowsiness , considering we do not have the head or tail of that drama series .

RME ended leaving a whiff of dread within me . Two more letters to write , two more periods dedicated to Chinese . Needless to say , there is nothing note-worthy here , except I can actually help my friends . They ask me how to write this or that character , and I know how to ! Viva la Chinese .

The bell rings . Hell , most of the class ain't finished with their letters , and the Higher Chinese boys with their written papers . Jian Pheng came around with the training plans . Pretty skimpy on defining specific drills to work on , but all the slots were taken care of . After some adjustments and about ten fifteen minutes , the plans looked pretty enough without looking at the handwriting .

I went down with Ce Qing to buy a $5 rip off photocopying card with only 167 credits (weird number , maybe it was used before , but I am not complaining - it will probably be my first and last card I would be purchasing) from the photo-stating lady . We made 89 copies of the Particulars Form .

Bought a drink and sipped at it till I left with Ying Lun to the CCAB . I tarried there till almost five , then I called mum and was fetched home . Zi Xiang thinks I am crazy cause I like playing in the Sun and talk so much nonsense . I do not contradict that . I do love the Sun and I do not mind speaking spontaneously .

Bryan says , DotA at six - Waiting for a friend too . I say , okay set .
At ten past five he says , hey I am going to nap .
Nap means he will wake at six , and join the fray . Nay , it only means he is going to sleep till the morrow .
Ended up playing alone in the hostile and unfriendly world of Lordaeron , Battle.Net . A nice game with Zues , I was satisfied .

Chat conversations over dinner , and after dinner . Right till now . I guess , now is the time to move on to other things , and desist the worship of this American God called Computer .

I am currently reading a book , American Gods by Neil Gaiman .

Some food for thought . Read even if you are on a diet .
Omnia munda mundis - To the pure , all things are pure .
It may pass out undigested . Yesterday did not feel like a single day at all .
A Math paper over , Tuition , Soccer at CCAB , Swim , BBQ , Taxis and buses .
Amazing how so many things can be crammed into a single day .

Just like how four Chinese periods can be slotted into each and every single school day with effect from today .

Twenty-four hours in a day .
Who ever decided that when the sun rose it was morning , when the sun set it was evening , and when the moon hung in the velvet sky it was night .
What made seven days a week , four weeks a month , twelve months a year ...

Omnes vulnerant , ultima necat
Every hour wounds , the last kills .

Truly , and each wound will make me what others are not .

Time is of essence . A dimension I accept as all on the earth accept . If everything existed without the guidelines of time , my life would merely be an instant yet an eternity . As I run through the race of life , I am not covering a scalar distance . Nay , I am sitting on the hands of a large clock . I am passing time , that is what the race is about . That is really what life is , is it not ? Time .

What an old topic .
I doubt many people know the title of this blog . When I first established this , I dubbed it Time - That's what the world revolves about .
That was almost three years past .
Maybe that is a question posed to every sentient being .

Life is short , people say . Yet the time on our hands is evidently more than enough . People waste their time on less than important issues , channeling too much effort into ineffective and unworthy causes . There is enough time to do whatever I am meant to do in this 'short' life . Just whether I want to or not .

If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give. Oh my sleeping child the world's so wild
but you've build your own paradise
That's one reason why I'll cover you sleeping child

Sure got that part right .
The world's so damned wild .

"Yet the 26-year-old has been sleeping in a reclining seat in an Internet cafe every night for the past month since he lost his steady office job and his apartment.

It's cheaper than a hotel, offers access to the Internet and hundreds of Manga comic books, and even has a microwave and a shower where he can wash in the morning before heading off to one of his temporary jobs ranging from cleaning to basic office work.

Asked how long he plans to go on living like that, Yamashita smiles and shrugs."

Stop telling me how I am to survive in a world so harsh .
Tell me how to calm this world .

I wonder why I am giving up my ideals .
I just need some fresh air .

I'm gonna cover my sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wild I am beginning to question the worth of kin and kith , again .
What is the point of conversing on and on ?
All roads point to return to being reticent .

I should just shut up .
And you shut up too . In the midst of examinations .

Does the Mid-Years seem to be the only happening thing around here ? Superficially , without doubt . How has my life bent under the weight of this new burden ? How does my lifestyle adapt to the introduction of papers and more papers ?

I do many unorthodox manners during examination periods . I still recall previous occasions where I would extract my Tamagotchi Digimon and start caring for that virtual pet of mine . Other times I would be sleeping at impossibly early times , say nine at night . These days though , I read .

Nay , not textbooks . Novels , short stories and materials as such . I found a captivating trilogy . In fact , I am already finished with two . I have yet to consume the last , except I do not think it is in the house . I will have to borrow or purchase the book one day .

This atmosphere of examinations sure influences my routine .

Wonder what will happen when it all ends . David walked into the valley
with a stone clenched in his hand
he was only a boy, but he knew
someone must take a stand

There will always be a valley
always mountains one must scale
There will always be perilous waters
Which someone must sail!

Into valleys, into waters,
Into storms that rip the night!
Don't give in, don't give up
But give thanks for the glorious fight!

You can tremble, you can fear it,
But keep your fighting spirit
Alive, boys!
Let the shiver of it sting you
Fling into battle! Spring to
Your feet, boys!
Never hold back your step for a moment!
Never doubt that your courage will grow!
hold you head even higher
and into the fire we go

Are there mountains that surround us?
Are there walls that block the way?
Knock them down, strip them back, boys,
And forward and into the fray!

Into terror, into valor,
Charge ahead - no, never turn!
yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!

Someone has to face the valley
Rush in! We have to rally
And win, boys!
When the world is saying not to,
By God, you know you've got to
March on, boys!

Never hold back your step for a moment!
Never doubt that your courage will grow!
Hold your head even higher
And into the fire we go!

Let the lightning strike!
Let the flash of it shock you!
Choke your fears away -
Pull as tight as a wire.
Let the fever spike!
Let the force of it rock you!
We will have our day,
Sailing into the fire!

Someone has to face the valley!
Rush in! We have to rally
And win, boys!
When the world is saying not to,
By God, you know you've got to
March on, boys!

Never hold back your step for a moment!
Look alive! Oh, your courage will grow!
Yes, it's higher and higher
And into the fire we go!
Into fire!
Onward ho! I was about to begin a post to veto the examinations . Even though my voice is small and will not be heard , I thought penning my thoughts would be amusing enough . I was about to ... Until you reminded me of age old question .

Where am I meant to be?
The question alone overpowers me in waves of doubts . The pest that gnaws at my foundations , hungry to know the truth .
What is my destiny?

You startled me when you cursed this world , and immediately asked why you were born . I have no answer to that , for yourself and my own . As I silently turn and examine this vexing puzzle I have before me , a sudden whimsy comes to mind . Just wondering mum , why were you born ? I guess my compulsion to direct the question away from myself is explained with dread of receiving naught but abstract advice peppered with wisdom of any adage . Why was I born , nay , the inquiry is all but aimed wrongly . So , why were you born ?

Just know , there is so much in common between you and I . Our differences , I daresay , complement each other . In hindsight , we really had memorable moments . This most certainly is not intoxication from a dozen romantic tales . I care less to explain , but yet I would lest tongues wag indiscriminately . This is brotherhood .

Strength and honour .
Strength and honour . Mayday today .
I admit there are many things that are left undone .
Yet I am so happy and content with my life at the moment .

Oh I wish life was a fairytale .

Educate men without faith and you but make them clever devils .
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