Bring 'em home...

Last weekend, we had a women's retreat where a team of women came from Iowa to partner with the leadership team here and blessed our socks off with mounds of gifts (chocolate chips and dove chocolate and pepperoni and ziplocks!!!) and offered us time to sit under amazing, hilarious teaching, beautiful worship and reminders of truth from Psalm 139... that although we may get weary in this daily grind of serving and teaching and living missionally... God sees us. He knows us. He adores us.

While that message is true and affirming to anyone serving anywhere in the world.... God made it very personal to me because he used the speaker to speak truth into a confused place in my heart. Although it wasn't the point of the weekend, the idea of "home" came up again. This has been such a sticky concept for me and something I think about often. Where do we claim as our physical home? When we are asked where we're from, how do we answer? What will my kids look back and remember as their "home"? In the midst of those thoughts this week, my blog post popped up from one year ago when we handed over the keys of our home marking the beginning of this journey where we have landed temporarily in so many other homes seeking God's guidance as he continues to define home for us and to show us what that even means. I reread that post from a little over a year ago and wept again at all those emotions of leaving our little house and some words jumped out at me, "...God is showing me that home is not really about place. Home is where His work for us is. Home is where he wants us."

While that is all true... I feel this... pressure... to be the "homemaker" for my family. Especially our kids. It has always been a weakness of mine...  I'm not good at decorating or organizing. In light of that, how do I actually make each place we live feel welcoming and homey to our kids and our guests in a practical way that allows us to find a place of rest to equip us to go out and serve and do his work?? Because isn't that what home is?? That place where we put on our slippers, sit with our feet up and breathe a big sigh of relief that we can just be. Truly ourselves and totally real.

Even as I type those words... God is tenderly drawing my heart and showing me that that place of home can only be found in his presence. When my kids look back over their years in our home that it will be much less about how their walls were decorated and the organizational systems I had in place and much more about our attitudes. If we were a family led by grace and constantly seeking the lost and trying to bring others into our home. Because it's not about whether I have orderly bookshelves and dishes done when people show up... it's my posture of receiving them with openness and hospitality and listening to them and pointing them to the One who knows them and wants to be known by us and making them feel like they have a place to land wherever we currently are.

God brought it all back to that for me. Home is his presence. That is the place where I can kick my feet up, rest, lay everything down and be my truest self and adored by the One who made me. And I can extend that feeling of home to others by inviting them into God's presence so they can feel the same way. Created, loved, known..... simply because He is. And He made them. And He invites them in.

When I think about that... it fuels the reason we are doing what we're doing. We've gone out to find others and bring 'em home. Home to God's presence. Home to his unconditional love. Home to their eternal place with him. Because when we get to heaven.... the goodbyes that plague this missional life we've embraced will be over. It will only be hellos. Eternal hellos. And those hellos will be so much richer surrounded by people from every tribe, tongue and nation... who God wants us to seek out and bring 'em home to Him.

Pirate Field Day!

Our elementary school here is called Titchie and there are events scheduled every few weekends for the students. They are so fun and the Titchie teachers do an amazing job of creating such neat experiences for the kids! The field day theme for this term was pirates and our kiddos had a blast dressing up! I ran the egg toss/race section and had a great time getting to interact with so many students.  They've also done a Harvest Night with a bonfire, stories, and pumpkin crafts. One of their favorites was the Titchie staff hunt where the teachers hid in the dark and gave the kiddos candy when they found them. It sounds exactly like something we would have done as kids! They loved it! We are usually hosting high school students while our kids have their Titchie events, so we hear lots of fun stories but don't snap many pics. But, we were able to be at field day with them and had so much fun!

Me and my high school helper explaining the station. One of my FAVORITE things about RVA is the way the high school kids get involved with the Titchie students and events! 

 I cut up a red curtain for bandanas and we used duct tape and rainbow loom bands to make the eye patches! It is a fun and interesting challenge to create costumes when you can't just pop out to Walmart for things!

Crescent Island

We had such a wonderful time over midterm break! RVA takes a long weekend in the middle of each term for students to get to connect with their families and for the staff to REST! The pace here is 24/7, which is awesome! But snatching times to rest can be very difficult!

We went with some of our amazing friends to a house in Nakuru about an hour and a half away. There was a POOL!!!! It was SUCH a treat for our kids to swim! The water was way too cold for this mama to get in (May-August is our coldest time here! So we were still coming off of that...), but the kids swam for hours!!  I didn't snap any pics of that, but it was a huge highlight. The house itself was beautiful and so restful. The parents spent most of the time chatting on the porch while the kids ran around and explored the property.

After a day of lounging around, we packed up lunches and headed to a walking safari on Crescent Island. It was AMAZING. We were twenty feet away from a small giraffe, and about 15 feet away from some zebras. The views and the diversity of animals was truly incredible. It was certainly one of our coolest "African Experiences" so far.
                                     

Finally Here!!

It's 6:30 am in Kenya. I can't sleep (this jet lag thing is no joke!) so I quietly crept out of the room to find a place I could dig into the Word. I'm sitting on some wooden stairs, listening to foreign sounds as Nairobi comes alive for the day. My heart is deeply peaceful. I won't say the past week has been easy, but I will say this week has been good. Long flights, unknowns, lack of sleep- can be hard for adults to endure but incredibly hard for kiddos. Our three have held up like troopers and I am so incredibly proud of them. As I was helping Anna get ready for bed last night- I asked her how she was doing. They played a categories version of sharks and minnows yesterday in the yard of the guesthouse. When the leader yells out a category that applies to you- you run as fast as you can and try not to get tagged before you make it to the opposite side. In childlike simplicity she responded, " Well, Ms. Alyssa called out "whoever has had a great day today" and we all took off running.... So I think we are all doing good." It made my heart happy. There have certainly been stretching moments along this journey and many more of those to come, but arriving in Nairobi early yesterday morning felt wonderful and led to a day of joy among our kids.

Because I don't want to forget what this has been like- I want to fill in some details. We flew to Atlanta on Tuesday. It was our kids very first flight and we experienced it all! Turbulence, delays, the entire airport shutting down so Air Force One could land at Dallas Lovefield, racing to our next flight without time for lunch or even to stop for a bathroom break, corralling a crazy number of bags when we landed in Atlanta.... It was a full day! In Atlanta- we had exit training- international banking, last minute details, a beautiful send-off....then it was back to the airport Thursday! We left with a group- so our extra bags were spread out (huge blessing!! Saved us lots of money!!) and it's just easier and more fun to travel with friends. And these people who we launched with have become incredible friends. In true AIM fashion- they try to take extra care of their people- they brought in three short term girls who love kiddos to travel with us and help us along the way. It has been AMAZING. They watched our kids in Atlanta and will go with us Tuesday to our Africa Based Orientation (ABO). These girls have beautiful hearts and we have already adopted a few to be honorary Matchell's. :) We also had a super fun treat in the Atlanta airport- some precious friends of ours from NWA "just happened" to be traveling internationally and had a lay over in Atlanta! I know it was God's tender gift to my heart to see familiar faces after so many farewells. We had a few moments of sweet catching up, gave tight hugs, then they sent us off with gifts for every flight and layover. It was SO FUN!!!

Our layover in Amsterdam went by quickly. It is a super cool airport and a fun place to spend a few hours. Then we boarded the largest plane I have ever seen for our last leg of the trip. There were at least 70 rows of 10 people across. It was so interesting to simply sit and wonder about all the different type of people boarding the flight and speculating what was bringing them all through Nairobi. The airline we were on (KLM)  has their own area in the Nairobi airport- so the exit process was very smooth. We waited in lines to get our Visa's checked for a long time... But while our kiddos laid on the ground with their heads on their backpacks, we got to chat with our fellow AIM travelers and enjoy time with them. With so many adults to help- grabbing our luggage and getting through customs was incredibly smooth. We loaded it all on a crazy number of carts and every big kid and adult just pushed out a cart into the Nairobi night. I had heard rumors of what other African airports are like- but my expectations were blown away by our experience. It was a clean, safe-feeling airport. AIM workers met us with buses to take our luggage straight to RVA and the rest of our luggage and our sleepy selves to Mayfield Guesthouse in Nairobi. We stumbled into bed at 1 am Saturday morning and slept until 11 am. (For those of you counting- it was only around 17 hrs of airtime... So no worries. It will go quick and easy for you when you come to visit us!) Our kids woke up- threw on jeans and long sleeve t-shirts and ran out to play with their new friends. There is a playground, soccer field and lots of space for them to run. The weather is AMAZING here! Coming from hot, humid weather in Arkansas and Atlanta- this is a very pleasant change! Anna declared the dry, 60 degree air "freezing". Ha! Little does she know how much colder it feels at RVA! Some friends came from RVA and took Brian to get our phones set up and our money changed over. Having instant community has been the biggest blessing! God certainly went before us in preparation for people to open their hearts to us! We have wireless here at the guesthouse- but not sure what type of communication we'll be able to continue- we load up Tuesday and head north about three hours for ABO. It is a three week training that we've heard is rather intense. We'd love your prayers for that! Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers up until this point! We'll do our best to keep you posted! 

Rocks in our Chac's

                                     

We stole away for a bit this week to wade in a creek, climb some rocks, and reconnect with our kiddos. There is nothing that chills me out more than being outside with Brian and the kids. As we were hiking and wading they would shout out, "I have a rock in my Chac!" and burst into a belly laugh. It was a phrase they picked up last weekend from their cousins- who are some of the coolest Chaco wearing kids on the planet, and it seemed to become the theme of our camping experience.

This camping trip was quick and unplanned but turned into one of our sweetest ones yet. There were so many sweet moments... like Anna conquering even higher climbs and going deeper into crevices and seeing the confidence in who she is shine out. Jakin building and managing the campfire. And this morning as I held hands with Mikaiah and we were wandering upstream looking for pretty rocks, I looked down and said, "Thanks for always being my sidekick." She smiled up at me and responded, "Of course I'm your sidekick. You're my superhero." Just typing that makes me tear up because I have been far less than super recently. Yet my kids continue to extend so much grace to me during this crazy time.

This time of transition is SO EXCITING!! We are fully funded! We have our tickets booked! We are packing our tubs and making final decisions on what goes and what stays...and I feel like my mind is constantly spinning. I truly am feeling so peaceful and so excited one minute, then I feel completely overwhelmed the next! I want to make our last weeks of summer in NWA special for our kids. I want to connect with every. single. person. we love before we leave. Brian wants to have everything packed ASAP. (Which can be a wee bit stressful when we have different ideas of what the packing process looks like... more on that later...but I will give you a sneak peek and tell you he tried to put my KitchenAid in a box... with four weeks left until we leave. Bless his heart.  Don't worry. Reason won out before things got ugly. My KitchenAid is still on the counter in case you need me to whip up anything amazing in all that free time we have. I'm realizing as I type this that he may have had a point.... but it's the principal. Packing my KitchenAid will mean I am officially closing down my kitchen in Arkansas and I'm just not ready for that yet!) Despite being so close to departure, we still have a million things to do and everyday seems full. One of the kids summed it up the other night at dinner perfectly when they burst into tears and said, "I just feel so much! I'm homesick, but we're home. I miss you, but you're here!" 

We realized it was time for us to slow down and just be together. We had our kids brainstorm a few "summer activities" they wanted to accomplish before we leave and not surprisingly, every single one revolved around quality time. Anna wanted to camp and when we looked at our calendar, we realized we only have a few free nights left and last night was one of them.... so we loaded up the tent, grabbed some groceries and headed out. It was beautiful and peaceful and exactly what we needed. The creek by our campsite was the perfect place for us to spend hours playing. And as I was navigating over slippery rocks trying to keep my balance (tricky for this clumsy mama!), I realized it was a great snapshot of what these weeks are for us. I looked up and saw all this beauty, and my kids laughing and splashing and having a wonderful time... but I could've missed it all if I had stayed focused on the wobbly step right in front of me. I can't get bogged down with the things at my feet. I have to keep on looking out, and focusing on the joy and fun of this crazy time. A more seasoned missionary couple we met told us they envy us because nothing has ever made them trust in God's sovereignty more than that first time launching to the field. I want to savor how amazing this process is.  God keeps bringing me back to Colossians 3:1-2... to set my heart on things above. He is in the details. I don't have to have all the answers or try to manage everything. I can just breathe. And enjoy.  I hope I can look back with grace on all the things I feel like I'm not doing well during this crazy time. Because honestly, the things that matter... those things are happening. Brian and I are totally on the same page (KitchenAid experience excluded), our kids are talking deeply and openly to us,  and they are finding joy in simple things like getting "rocks in their Chac's". 

Finding Joy in the Hard

This has been a heavy week in our house. Brian's basketball season ended over the weekend in the state final game with a loss. Losing is always hard.... but this one hurt much deeper because it signaled the end of Brian's coaching career at Bentonville High school.  His years there have been incredible. Formative to him as a coach.... but more importantly, amazingly formative to who he is as a friend, as a man, as a father,  and as a child of God.  The men he works with are some of the greatest men I know. They have encouraged him, spoken life into him, and made him laugh harder than he ever has before.  And their wives? I can hardly put into words.... beautiful women who love their husbands, their kiddos, and the Lord fiercely. Their families have become family to us. 

Today is also the last day of school for our kiddos. We will be pulling them home to homeschool the last quarter so that we have lots of time to focus on their hearts, to enjoy their company before we enter into a very different stage, and to travel and begin saying goodbye to some of our favorite people. They woke up with very mixed emotions. They are excited to travel and have some new adventures, but they are going to miss their friends and all the fun that comes along with school... and their teachers. They have some of the most amazing teachers. These adults who have devoted their lives to investing in my kiddos have blessed us beyond measure. They have developed them academically for sure.... but they have helped breathe life into their little personalities, have listened to their excitement about God's plans for us, and have given them a safe ear to come to with their grief. They have had an eternal impact on our kiddos and it is hard to leave their classrooms.

And me? I am certainly not thriving. My stomach hurts all the time because I am allowing the daunting to-do list to rule my thoughts instead of setting my mind on things above. I am scrambling around trying to take care of everyone and doing a very poor job of taking care of anything, including myself. In God's providential timing, I had a speaking engagement already booked for this week. He knew I would need to rest in him, to focus my mind on His Word, to take my eyes off of myself and encourage women as they pursue God's purpose in their lives. It gave me time to once again reflect on and call out the eternal thread that God has woven through our family to bring us to this place. 

I was reminded that there is something very beautiful about grief.... it sifts through things that are meaningless and helps focus our eyes on what is important. I will be honest, as I have grieved alongside my husband this week....  I actually had the nerve to say to myself that it seemed like the cost of obedience was too high. Forget what God would like us to do, maybe we should stay and cling to what is familiar. I wanted Brian to get to continue at BHS, with these amazing friends, training up young men. I wanted to spare my kiddos the pain of saying goodbye to people they love. 

But God so tenderly drew my heart to truth. He brought me to Isaiah 43- and reassured me that he formed me and summoned me by name. These rivers of grief will not sweep over us and that He is right here with us. Pain and grief are not something to shy away from... but we can walk through confidently knowing that God is with us and that he using these flames to shape us and make us stronger. And in Revelation 5, there is a dramatic scene where people are weeping because no one is worthy to open the scroll.... but then the Slain Lamb arrives... and praise rings out for the Slain Lamb... the only One worthy to open the scroll... the One who ransomed men for God... from every tribe and language and people and nation. He has won the victory but people don't know! There are people who don't know that they have been purchased. And God could certainly whisper it to their hearts without our help, but He is asking us to be part of his plan to reach them.  So we could certainly ignore the calling that God has laid on our hearts and close our eyes to his incredible eternal plan because that might feel easier for today... but what a sad choice that would be. Because not only will we be part of God winning people for himself in Africa... we will be blessed by the experience. God is using the hard of this week to shape our family into one that shines even brighter for him. And this grief will be so short compared to the amazing experiences that await us in Kenya and the eternal joy of obedience. 

Freedom and Grief

We handed over the keys of our house. Our beautiful, old, first house that we had ten wonderful years in. The kids and I went back one evening this week. It was empty and our voices echoed off the hardwood floors as we dusted and mopped together. It ended up being a time of laughter, fun, and of the kids good-naturedly arguing over who got to mop where and digging in and helping me cross the finish line of turning over our home to it's future owners. But even in the sweetness, there was deep grief. Like when I walked past Jakin's room and found him kneeling on the carpet in the corner, gazing out of the window that he had looked out each morning, tears rolling down his face. His steadfast 10 year old heart was deeply hurting over knowing that view would no longer be what he woke up too. I scooped him up and held his long-legged body while he just cried. We talked about his favorite moments in that house and reminisced and relived some sweet memories. It was hard and good and healing. And I got to let him in to my grief and share the place I would miss most. 

My porch swing, made for me by my incredibly gifted Father-in-law. My absolute favorite spot of our home. The countless hours spent there with friends, talking through this crazy thing called motherhood, and the joys and struggles we faced daily. The mornings spent there in God's Word. The countless cups of coffee or chocolate milk on long-run mornings. The snuggled conversations with my kids, hearing their hearts and the details of their little lives. The days I would drive up and find women just sitting there, waiting to chat. The crazy number of books I enjoyed reading, rocking back and forth. The cool early mornings when one kiddo would wrap up in a blanket and sneak out and just rock next to me. It was my place. And I grieve leaving it. 

But God is showing me that home is not really about place. Home is where His work for us is. Home is where he wants us. Amazingly, we've only been in our new home less than a week, and it feels shockingly homey already. Because he went before us. He provided a cozy little corner back on the campus we love so much. We had a spectacular time at JBU as students and we get to spend our last few months here before we leave.... letting our kids rollerblade on the sidewalks, run through the woods, play on the tennis courts and create sweet memories in a setting we love so much.

It's hard leaving the house that you brought babies home too. Where we worked at and fought hard for our marriage in those early years when diapers and toddlers tried to overtake us. Where we cared for countless children and had so many little feet running through our daily lives, blessing us with their little personalities and friendship. Where we had a beautiful boxer named Quincy, who wiggled his way so deeply into our hearts. Where our kids learned to ride their bikes, and laughed and cried over our uber-competitive family kickball games in the street. (The girls are in the lead, just in case you were keeping score...) And I know this move is much easier than ones to come because despite moving locations, we still have our same community. Our amazing friends and family who bless us and who aren't afraid to love us deeply and live with us daily even though they know a goodbye is coming soon. I can hardly even think about that... 

But despite the grief, there is an incredible freedom in knowing that we have fewer physical ties holding us here. Fewer possessions that make it hard for our hearts to let go. We are becoming more and more free to go wherever God calls us. Soon, that will be Kenya. He is going before us, providing just the spot for us to land and create a home for as long as he wants us there. And if he calls us somewhere else, He will go before us again.... he keeps reminding me, home is not a place. Home is where God's work is. And there is so much freedom in that.