Do You Know the MUFFIN MAN?

Click here for another Micah Beard original

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koe6LEd-wVk

I always thought the muffin man was fat and kinda cranky! HA!

Trick or Treat Kitties

Micah took some humerous video of our kittens. Click here for the link to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6jUEuKPoxE


MEOW!

Top 10 Things I have Given Up On

1. Having a positive shopping experience at our Lebanon Wal-mart. This place brings the worst in a lot of people.

2. Being able to drive down Hartmann Drive without hitting a red light.

3 Ever being able to lose weight again.

4. Getting rid of my green elbows. Why does this happen? I bathe regularly with soap!?

5. Not having ZITS. Nobody warned me that I would one day have wrinkles and ZiTS. How does this happen? This seems a terrible injustice to my face, and those who must look at it.

6. Ever being able to get 21 years of photographs into an album, much less a scrapbook.

7. Ever getting the past 6 years of digital photos printed.

8. Time to myself.....I don't want a lot, but a hour or two alone in a clean house would be dreamy every month or two.

9. Ever getting out of debt.

10. Ever being able to get rid of our brown recluse spiders! What is one to do if the ORKIN mail fails you??? By the way, our former BUG MAN is now having unexplained seizures. I think he's had too much exposure to bug spray.

Micah's Caramel Popcorn

Micah loves to cook. He comes up with some pretty good items without using a recipe. My most favorite popcorn in the world is made by him. He makes EXTREME BUTTER, KETTLE CORN, and my most favorite, CARAMEL POPCORN. I tell the truth when I say that I have found NONE other that beats Micah's. 2 years ago, we got him a stove top popper with the crank handle. So here's the recipe for Micah's Masterpiece, in his own words:


(You will need a stove corn popper)


1/2 cup organic popcorn


1/4 cup organic brown sugar


2T organic butter


1 T vegetable oil


First add the oil, brown sugar, and butter in a bowl and heat in the microwave (until butter melts) then stir well. Add half this mixture in the popcorn popper along with the popcorn. When it's almost done popping, add the rest of the brown sugar mixture and turn off stove. Then let cool for a minute while gently stirring.

Out of Ca$h and Into a Dodge....................

When our oldest son Ethan turned 15, we waited 4 months before taking him to get his permit. Read OUT OF THE DRIVER'S seat for that experience from a MOM's perspective. Then this past May, Ethan got a job and started saving his money. Since he is a home schooled high schooler , he had an advantage with his job searching and landed a good job at Michael's Cafe here in Lebanon. This is a family owned and operated business run by Marcie Wright. Marcie used to cook for my Alma mater, started her own catering business, and now has a restaurant. This cafe is open for lunch Sunday-Friday and does some catering in the evenings. Ethan has worked diligently for 6 months now and has saved almost all his earnings.

During this time, he has poured over car and truck magazines, searched the Internet, and kept a close eye on those E-bay auctions. So last Monday evening, he sat down and the computer and made the winning bid on the truck of his dreams - a 1999 Dodge Dakota. The catch? He had to drive nearly to Chicago to pick it up. On Saturday, he and Dad left out at 4am for the 360+ mile one way trip. At nearly midnight, I heard them drive up our driveway. Proud and pooped.

I cannot believe this day has finally come. Richard and I cannot possibly be old enough to have a son who bought his own vehicle with cash and hit another milestone of independence. Son we are proud of you. We are proud of your hard work ethic, proud of your wisdom in saving your money, and proud of the fine young man you have become. May you enjoy the fruits of your labor and thank God for giving you health to work. May His protection be over you always - especially in your Dodge.

What I Miss................

As much as I love the fall season with the leaves changing colors against an October blue sky, and the cold crisp air, I can't help but remember...........

My Granddaddy Bybee was born in October and our family would kick off the fall season with a family meal to honor him. Our third child, a daughter name Josie Mae was due in October. She would be ten years old this year - IF ONLY. My father passed away 20 years ago this October 20th. I have uncountable Armstrong cousins, aunts, and uncles who celebrate October birthdays. Grandmother Armstrong made a tradition celebrating these October birthdays by hosting a bonfire, hayride, and wiener roast each year. And last, another date to remember is October 27th - my Mom's birthday.

This coming Saturday my Mom would be 67 years old if she were still with us. She's been gone nearly 14 years, but for me, it might as well have been a lifetime. Part of my life stopped when she died and in many respects, time just stood still. So here's to a little remembrance in honor of Mom - Myrna Faye Armstrong Bybee. Those who knew her understood she was the REAL DEAL, a woman of honor, virtuous, a gem among stones. Here's What I Miss....................................................

Nobody else listens like Mom. I miss having her ear to talk to about my joys and fears, my worries and dreams.

What I would give for her fried chicken and biscuits crafted with her own hands. I've been told I'm a good cook, but my fried chicken and biscuits are lacking in comparison to hers.

I miss seeing that left eyebrow raise solo... to me this meant, "Watch out young lady" or who ever else it was intended to warn. I can't do this, and to this day, I am unsure if my children will lead a normal life because they never experienced this "force".

Coffee and her home made cinnamon rolls around the breakfast table in our PJ's.

Her wise advice on how to raise children.

Her Irises and Roses in summer bloom.

Her home made blackberry jelly - yes she would pick'em, boil'em and strain'em to get the seeds out. I still cannot get down the jam with seeds.

Ethan doesn't remember his Nana. But I remember how she adored him. I am sad she never knew Micah and Hope and they will grow up without a Nana and her powerful influence.

I terribly wanted her by my side when I delivered Micah and Hope. And what a comfort it would have been to have her present on the worst day of my life 5/29/97.

I miss seeing her get sooo tickled at something Dad would say or do, she would almost wet her pants, and tears would be streaming down her face.

I miss her Christmas Coconut Cake which was an ALL DAY cooking event.

I miss her calming presence and her reassuring spirit in this ever so upsetting world.

I miss her Christian example, strong character, and gentle spirit, and so much more.

To a fine Lady who is deeply missed...... Happy Birthday Mom :)

Who DID invent the Toilet??

The flush toilet was invented in 1596 by John Harrington
First valve-type flush toilet was introduced in 1738 by a man named J.F. Brondel (J.F. Bronde)
Alexander Cummings invented the Strap, a sliding valve between the bowl and the trap in 1775.
Samuel Prosser applied for and received a patent for a plunger toilet in 1777.
Joseph Bramah altered the design in 1778 so that it had a valve at the bottom of the bowl that worked on a hinge, a predecessor to the modern ballcock.
Thomas Twyford revolutionized the toilet business in 1885 when he built the first trapless toilet in a one-piece, all china design.
J. G. Jennings patented a washout closet in 1852. This unit had a shallow basin with a dished tray and water seal. The flush water drove the contents into the pan and then through the S-trap.
The U.S.Patent Office received applications for 350 new toilet designs between 1900 and 1932.
Engineers at the Emerson Motor Company in St. Louis have developed a 3.3 inch motor and a .2 horsepower pump that fits in a toilet tank to add speed and power to each flush.
Emerson partnered with pump manufacturers Zoeller Company and Hydromatic Pump Company to develop a plumbing system that liquefies waste.
Thomas Crapper didn't invent the toilet, but was an English plumber from the late 1800s who held nine patents for plumbing products

Although I was ready to give credit to Thomas Crapper for our modern day device... it seems that this essential invention evolved over time and several people are due credit for our throne. Thanks for allowing me to indulge in a little "crap" material.

Here are some jokes my son made up;

What do you call a bunny in a dress??




Little Bunny MOO MOO!!!

What do you call a bunny on a train??




Little Bunny CHOO CHOO!!!


To which I added:

What do you call a bunny on the johnny?



Little Bunny POO POO!



Yes we have a warped sense of humor, but keep in mind, we are without TV and are desperately trying to amuse ourselves :)

The DARK Ages, and Trivia Question

As I posted earlier, our big TV went out for the 3rd time and is beyond repair. Our other TV also went out. I brought home a TV from work which nobody wanted anymore - it went out too.

Our Heat and Air unit has been out since last Thursday.

And Thursday night our Internet went down and Richard just got it going today.

Last night Micah commented that our family is now living in the DARK AGES since we have no TV, no INTERNET, and NO HEAT/AC. I got a chuckle from that.

At least we can still flush..... But I will keep my fingers crossed!

and now for a bit of TRIVIA

Who can tell me the inventor of the TOILET??

NEA Resolves to Stand AGAINST Home Schooling

We began home schooling 11 years ago in 1996. It wasn't as popular then and there were much fewer resources and supports. We took the decision on a year by year basis. About 5 years ago, we felt for certain that this is the path God had put us on. I thank Him daily for the opportunity to home school our children.

Our main reason for home schooling? We feel it will give our children a greater chance of going to heaven. However, the other advantages are countless. We are so blessed and want to encourage anyone who feels led to home schooling to GO FOR IT! We may not always have the freedom to home school IF the NEA has it's way.Not much angers me, but this most recent stunt by the NEA gets my blood boiling!!!!

The National Educational Association in their 2007-2008 Resolutions has taken a stand against homeschooling.It reads "The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs based on parental choice cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience. (yes, my children have missed out a lot being home schooled. Like eating school lunch, standing in line to eat, drink, walk, potty, ect. Also they have missed out on lock downs, property and body searches, and a whole host of other experiences. All socialization is NOT positive. Gasp! How will my children ever function in society??)

When home schooling occurs, students enrolled must meet all state curricular requirements, including the taking and passing of assessments to ensure adequate academic progress.

(Yes, some home schoolers can get around the standardized tests. HOWEVER, many subjects and topics I and other home school parent have taught our children would never appear on a standardized test. All 3 of our kids have had at least a year of Greek before entering 4th grade. They have studied world history chronologically along with the Bible. So there are many topics which most home school parents expose their children to learning at a very young age, which would never appear on a standardized test. The standardized tests are NOT an accurate measurement of knowledge, simply a measurement of a piece of the pie, not the whole pie.)
Home schooling should be limited to the children of the immediate family (If we decide our children's education would be enhanced by allowing them to work with tutors and mentors, that's our choice!)

with all expenses being borne by the parents/guardians. (My husband and I pay more than our fair share of taxes and I NEVER ask or expect the gov't to foot the bill for our choices. A tax credit would be nice for our choice though. Considering each school system in TN gets approximately 6000+ per student per year, I figure we will have saved taxpayers $18,000 per year.)

Instruction should be by persons who are licensed by the appropriate state education licensure agency, and a curriculum approved by the state department of education should be used. (Hey that's one reason we chose to home school in the first place. We get to choose the curriculum! I have 3 different learning styles in my 3 kiddo's. What worked for Ethan was a disaster for Micah. As home schoolers, we had the option to change Micah's texts to something else more suited to his learning style. It didn't take rocket science for us parents to figure that out either. Also this week's paper had another coach at a local HS who was charged with sexual abuse of a student. Granted, most teachers have better values, but being "licensed by the state" does little to impress the home school world of parents. Our standards are usually much higher than state standards)

The Association also believes that home-schooled students should not participate in any extracurricular activities in the public schools. The Association further believes that local public school systems should have the authority to determine grade placement and/or credits earned toward graduation for students entering or re-entering the public school setting from a home school setting. (Sound's like someone just doesn't want to play NICE)

"Statistics have shown that homeschooled students do exceptionally well. They excel (and win) spelling bees, score high on tests like the SAT, and go on to be accepted into many colleges. One Source: http://www.chec.org/Legislative/News/HomeschoolingStatistics/Index.html Homeschoolers also find benefits in co-op classes contrary to the NEA belief that students should only be instructed by their immediate families. Take a moment to tell the NEA that homeschooling is a real option that does produce wonderfully rounded and educated members of society.http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/homeschoolers-against-nea-philosophy?page=%2051

Why DID the chicken cross the Road?

Why did the Chicken cross the road?



DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize thathe must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the roadbefore it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of theroad. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting bynot taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding New problems.

OPRAH:Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which iswhy he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having thechicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a partof life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just driveacross the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens

GEORGE W BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We justwant to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.____________________________________________________

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satelliteimage of the chicken crossing the road...____________________________________________________

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have notyet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.____________________________________________________

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am nowagainst it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misledabout the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and willremain against it.___________________________________________________

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can seeit in his eyes and the way he walks.____________________________________________________

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.____________________________________________________

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. Ihad a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs whenthe price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me anyinsider information.____________________________________________________

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've notbeen told.____________________________________________________

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was goodenough.____________________________________________________

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listeningto the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming storyof how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on toaccomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.____________________________________________________

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,in peace.____________________________________________________

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.____________________________________________________

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, andbalance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part ofeChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will nevercra...#@&&^( C .. ... reboot.____________________________________________________

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road movebeneath the chicken?____________________________________________________

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is yourdefinition of chicken?____________________________________________________

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!____________________________________________________

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?____________________________________________________

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

I'm HOT and everything is BROKEN

Hey guys.... Did you know there are only 69 more shopping days left until Christmas!!!!!! Yikes.

Today is October 17th and I am sitting in my home with bare feet, hair pulled back, in a thin top, windows open, ceiling fans on HIGH, and I am HOT!!!! Last night I kept tossing and turning and sweating. Then I bolted out of bed because I smelled something burning. I also noticed our heat and air unit didn't sound quite right and now it won't do ANYTHING. I can't believe how incredibly warm the weather has been lately. It's still too hot to eat on the back porch and we are on the back side of October already. At any rate, I sit here in the heat waiting for my hero, the BENTLY's repair man to come over and right the wrongs with our unit.

Last week our main TV went out for the 3rd time this year. It cannot be repaired since they don't make the part which is broken. I don't understand this since it's only 5 years old. At any rate, we are without a TV at the moment. We also had 2 smaller, older TV's which are now gonners. I think we should just do without until year end and see what this does for our family life! We may have to depending on the AC bill!

And last of all, I can't make my healthy morning smoothies any more either. I bought a new Oster heavy duty blender back in the summer. I have always wanted a blender, but never got one in all my 21 years of marrriage and house keeping. Within 6 weeks, the blender started having that OZONE smell and blew up. Richard went to great lengths to locate the right fuse and sauter the fuse back into the motor. Then last week as I was preparing a delicious smoothie with OJ, Cream, Strawberries, Pineapple, and Mangos (YUM) and it blew up yet again.

So I am HOT, I can't make me a smoothie, and watch TV.

I miss the blender the most!

New Additions to the Family

Last year Hope got a kitten the same day Micah got his dog, which was the same day we went to simply "look" at a puppy. Hope was an excellent pet owner and we all got pretty attached to Darlene the cat. Hope doted on this kitty every day. She took missing when we had the longest, hottest weather at the end of August. Micah helped Hope make MISSING CAT notices and they both passed them out in our neighborhood. About 10 days later, a neighbor called. What was left of our poor kitty was in her yard along with Darlene's name tag and our phone number. Hope was just broken hearted.

A few days later, Hope's teacher from her preschool days e-mailed us photos of their new litter of 6 kittys. These kittens would need homes soon because the owners already had 5 grown cats! Hope was the first person to choose a kitten when they were just a few days old. Later Micah picked out one as well. As it turns out, Hope got the only boy in the litter. Also, Hope and Micah's kittens had the strongest bond throughout their first 6 weeks of life.

So last night, Hope could hardly contain her excitement since this was KITTY DAY for the Beards. Micah, who we think gets excited sometimes, was able to contain himself very well. These pictures were taken at the owner's house before we took them to their new home. I think the photos speak volumes.

Now should we rename our blog page FIVEBEARDS and a DOG and 2 CATS?

Get your NASCAR shots!

http://www.gopusa.com/theloft/?p=575

I got a good chuckle from this article. I know I am a true southerner, but this article is ridiculous!



You know your in the south when.....
Indoor furniture is on the front porch
Yard statues include the commode
Duck Tape is the number one home/auto repair tool
Sweet Tea is on the menu
Cornbread and Pintos makes a complete meal
The finest Rednecks come out late at night like vampires and shop at Wal-mart.
You've ever made a redneck rain poncho - out of a Hefty Bag
You have an assortment of Halloween costumes made from Hefty Bags
Your granny isn't fat..... She's just HEFTY!

Living in the south's not too bad - At school last Friday the 2nd graders had been studying Tennessee. They were in the fellowship hall decorating Tennessee shaped cookies. I didn't know you could order online state shaped cookie cutters - even ones from the south.

Happy Campers

Another family favorite is camping. We have been camping for over 10 years now. Our first camp trip with the family was in 1997 to Fall Creek Falls. We camped in our Plymouth Voyager Van. Ethan was 6 and Micah was only 3. We later inherited my in-laws RV from the early 70's. If any one out there has seen the movie RV - that family could have easily been the Beards! We have a lot of stories to tell about that old camper. Like the time I woke up ( my bed was on the dinette table OVER the gas water heater) and plumes of black smoke were billowing up around me. Then there was the time we had a water leak in the wall. Richard spent the first 2 days of his vacation trying locate parts and repairing the camper.

About 5 years ago we upgraded the 70's RV to a newer one. We have tried to use this one every chance we get. This year we camped 7 different times. Here are some photos from our last camp trip of 07! We can't wait to make some reservations for 2008.

Sailing Sailing.........

One of our family highlights this year was a trip to Destin FL in August. We have been to the same condo (Carribean Dunes) several times. It is located across the street from the beach. This is a true vacation for us. We usually wake up, eat, go to the beach, eat, go to the pool, eat, go back to the beach and sleep some more. We usually dine out only a time or two the entire trip.

This year we decided to live a little. Althought we still prepared most all our meals at the condo, Dad booked a trip aboard the Nathaniel Bowditch Sailboat. Here are some pics from that trip. It's a day we will always remember.... and treasure.

An American Girl Day July 18, 2007

I am usually slow to get on the band wagon, and try to avoid them at all costs. Such was the case with AMERICAN GIRL. I had successfully sheltered my daughter from the whole AMERICAN GIRL phenomenon UNTIL Hope's aunt took her to our local library last summer. She pointed out the selection of AMERICAN GIRL stories for Hope to check out. Appearantly, they are quite popular amoung girls at the public school where my sister-in-law works. At this point in time, the books were a bit advanced for a 1st grader to read alone so I was forced to sit and read to my daughter..... and then we were both hooked.

American Girl knows a lot about marketing. There are up to 6 different stories written about each historical character. There are oodles of characters. There are American Girl Dolls to purchase - one for each fictional character at a whopping $80+ bucks each. Then there are countless outfits and accessories which can be purchased for each character. Then there is the furniture, the beds, the bedding, the horses and stables, and cats, and on and on and on. Of course you can also purchase the books, and stationary, and pens, and pads. Then for the ulitmate experience, a parent can spend a whole day spoiling their daughter at the AMERICAN GIRL STORE. There are only 4 in the USA, Los Angeles, Chicago, New York City, and a new one just opened in Atlanta. An American Girl Play is offered several times a day. There are 3 levels of STUFF to shop. You can have your picture made with your doll and put on the cover of AMERICAN GIRL MAGAZINE. An most of all, Mommy and daughter and dollie can dine in fine style at the AMERCIAN GIRL CAFE - lost in a world of pink girlie dazzleness.

So last fall 0f-2006 our daughter began saving her own money to purhase an AMERICAN GIRL doll of her very own. Often when she would contemplate spending a few dollars on something frivolous - Mom would remind her of her goal. Hope's motivation to save for a doll equalled my interest in reading the stories. I couldn't get enough of the historical girls with my girl snuggled up close through the winter months with a blanket while we read.

So after our daughter had stayed motivated to save her allowance for over 10 months I decided to go all out. Instead of planning a big birthday party I took the party funds and bought us each a round trip ticket on Southwests Internet special to Chicago (90$ roundtrip for each). I began to save my dollars for other trip expenses. I booked the early flight out and the latest flight home for the same day. So on July 18th, 2007, Hope and I had our AMERICAN GIRL DREAM COME TRUE DAY. We flew into O'hare, took the EL to Michgan Ave and located the AMERICAN GIRL STORE right away. The look of awe and wonder on Hope's face as we entered this 3 story building made me want to cry. We both wander throughout the place with eyes wide open. This place is beyond incredible.

I had made lunch reservations way in advance and we were treated to a special time in the cafe. Hope ordered the TIC TAC TOE pizza and mom had the salad. Later we attended a most touching play which had all of the characters from every book worked into the script. We had to escape this world of materialism to be able to think clearly before making any purchases. We went to the Navy Pier, Lake Michigan, and to the top of the John Hancock building. Finally, we returned with cash in hand to make a purchase. Hope chose Elizabeth from the book FELICITY. She was able to buy a couple of outfits with her birthday money she also saved for the trip.

This was a day we will both treasure forever. This was one of those special days - expensive and yet priceless. That 90$ ticket was the best money I've spent in a long time.