This week 2 of our 3 children went shopping with me for THE TWINS, my neice Abby Kate, and newphew, Joshua. They turn 2 years old in a few days. I've been a bit bummed lately, wishing I could turn back the clock and have a few "do overs" with my own children.
I called Sunny, the twin's momma, and asked for some present ideas. I was willing to buy clothes if they needed them, but was excited to learn toys were a bigger priority. Oh goodie! I love to play on the toy aisle and check out the newest gizmo's and gadgets for little tykes.
When we arrived at the toy department, Hope and I took a lot of time just looking. You see, our boys are 12 and 15. They rarely ever ask us to buy them anything and we rarely do. Hope likes everything she sees, but she doesn't expect toys or gifts unless it's a birthday or holiday. So I guess we are blessed that they don't ask or expect a lot from us.
It then occured to me that our children have outgrown most kid toys. The boys packed away the trains and trucks a long time ago. The Tinkertoys, Lincoln Logs, and blocks are stored in the attic along with Legos, Matchbox cars, and Star Wars figures. There is also a pink mirrored vanity, art easle, Fisher Price Doll House, Fisher Price Castle, Fisher Price Western Town, and a Fisher Price Pirate Ship with oodles of characters for imaginative play. Why I even have some of my own childhood treasures stored up there. I have my Barbie Dolls, a Baby Tender Love, and a metal child size ironing board.
It tears me up to think about getting rid of these material treasures. It's the memories that keep me from parting with them. I can still see Ethan at 4 years old, in the floor with all his Thomas the Tank Engines. His hair shone bright red and his eyes were full of eagerness while he sat playing. Then came Micah, who could entertain himself forever building with blocks, logs, and tinkertoys and legos. He amazed us at an early age with the complex structures he could put together. Next came Hope who got a vanity from Santa at age 3. I remember all the dress up accessories, then Barbie Dolls, and Build A Bears (wish I'd thought of that idea!).
Nope, they don't ask for toys anymore. The boys are caught in that awkward age between childhood play, and adult resposibility. Its a real challenge to keep them from being bored or hungry, and interested in constructive activities. Then when Hope recently decided to spend her allowance on a pair of shoes instead of a toy....I just about cried. I'm not ready for childhood to end.
Guess that's why us parents hold onto the toys and the memories so hard. Childhood is such a special time for the child, but more so, for the parents. No - we don't want it to end, but it happens anyway. What I would give if I could go back in time and have that newborn snuggled on my shoulder, feel a little hand reach for mine, see the excitement and anticipation over the Easter Bunny, and Santa Clause, and the watch their thrill in learning to ride a bike.
If I could turn back time, I would play more and work less. I would read more stories and watch less TV. I would pack a picnic go to the park every chance I could. I would let the dishes sit in the sink a little longer and jump rope with my daughter. I would get my fingers in the finger paints too. I would have tea parties every Monday with real cookies and lemonade. We would all make that gingerbread house at Christmas and go see Granddaddy and Grandmother more often. I would have pillow fights even though it was past bed-time and make waffles whenever the kids wanted them. I would have scrimped and saved to build the play yard when they were real little. I wished I would have tried the SLIP N SLIDE with them. And when they were napping, I wish I would have napped some of the time too.
Lord help me to have a child's playful spirit today and everyday. Help me see Your world through a child's eyes sometimes. Lord help me to find joy, and peace, and happiness through all the adult responsibilty on my shoulders. Thank you for giving us children. They are a true blessing.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Another Year Older
This past Sunday, I celebrated my birthday. As I was applying makeup before church that morning, our daughter Hope happened to be in the bathroom with me. She said, "Mommy, are you sad that you are older?" I told her "No." She said, "When I woke up this morning, I thought you would look older, but you really don't." Now that makes me feel a lot better!
My body does work against me quite often. It killed my thyroid and had to have that one removed. Therefore my once more slender BOD has taken on a wider shape. Walking three miles a day has toned the claves, but the excess still hangs from the mid-section. Just last week I had a tooth repaired - thought the filling came out, but I just lost more tooth! Now my heart is giving me problems. I have been through a barrage of tests - now the Dr wants me to have an arteriorgram! Isn't the legal testing age for that one like +65???
I decided a few years back, as I approached the 40's that I would just rejoice in living another year. Since my parents died young, I understand we are not entitled to live a long life. As Christians however, we are entitled to live a full life. So Sunday morning, I woke up to be 41 years old and happy that God has given me another year of living. Now that's a real birthday present!
If we are going to live.. we will get older!
My body does work against me quite often. It killed my thyroid and had to have that one removed. Therefore my once more slender BOD has taken on a wider shape. Walking three miles a day has toned the claves, but the excess still hangs from the mid-section. Just last week I had a tooth repaired - thought the filling came out, but I just lost more tooth! Now my heart is giving me problems. I have been through a barrage of tests - now the Dr wants me to have an arteriorgram! Isn't the legal testing age for that one like +65???
I decided a few years back, as I approached the 40's that I would just rejoice in living another year. Since my parents died young, I understand we are not entitled to live a long life. As Christians however, we are entitled to live a full life. So Sunday morning, I woke up to be 41 years old and happy that God has given me another year of living. Now that's a real birthday present!
If we are going to live.. we will get older!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Puzzle
I came across this and thought it worth posting. Enjoy
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl, Shelby. She wanted to know what the United States looked like so finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, "Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you our whole country today." After a few minutes, Shelby returned and handed him the map correctly fitted together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. ”Oh," she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together." Without CHRIST I Am Nothing.
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl, Shelby. She wanted to know what the United States looked like so finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, "Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you our whole country today." After a few minutes, Shelby returned and handed him the map correctly fitted together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. ”Oh," she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together." Without CHRIST I Am Nothing.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
NEA to Promote Homosexual Marriage in Schools
Please read the following from the American Family Association, pray, and take action if compelled. Please know I have no malice towards the homosexual community. I just tire from the lifestyle being flaunted and idolized as such a great choice. It deeply concerns me that our public school sytems feel it's their place to force their issues upon the children without parental input.
Lord, I praise you for being the God that is good and holy. I pray for America to be a country you can be proud of. Thank you for allowing our family the freedom to choose to homeschool our children. Our aim is that they be closer to You, and know You more, and to find their very being in You. If it be Your will, raise up Christian spouses for our children who love You above anything and everything else, and they can receive ALL the benifits of marriage and family through You.
From AFA:
AFA ActionAlertDonald E. WildmonFounder and Chairman *June 19, 2006* *National Education Association Set to Endorse Homosexual Marriage* Dear Tara, *Teacher's union begins plans to promote homosexual marriage in publicschools* The National Education Association is set to endorse homosexualmarriage at their convention coming up in Orlando June 29 through July6. The new NEA proposal essentially says schools should support andactively promote homosexual marriage and other forms of marriage (twomen and one woman, three women, two women and three men, etc.) intheir local schools. The new proposal, expected to pass overwhelmingly, is found under theB-8 Diversity paragraph: _The Association... *believes in the importance of observances, programs and curricula* that accurately portray and recognize the roles, contributions, cultures, and history of these diverse groups and individuals._ _The Association believes that legal rights and responsibilities with regard to medical decisions, taxes, inheritance, adoption, legal immigration, domestic partnerships, *and civil unions and/or marriage belong to all these diverse groups and individuals.*_ *Translated, that means the NEA will promote homosexual marriage inevery avenue they have available, including textbooks, to all childrenat all age levels and without the permission or knowledge of parents.Their plans will include every public school in America.* Take Action ------------------------------------------------------------- First, please forward this to all parents with children in publicschools. They need to be aware of the plans the NEA has toindoctrinate their children with their pro-homosexual, homosexualmarriage agenda. - *Send your email to your NEA state affiliate.*https://secure.afa.net/afa/afapetition/takeaction.asp?id=204 - Please forward this to public school teachers you know so they canbe aware of the NEA's plans. In fact, their membership dues will beused to help implement the new NEA plan. AFA encourages teachers who do not approve of their dues going to theNEA to find an alternative teacher's group to help them retain theirbenefits. Teachers might want to give the CEAI home page a look -http://www.ceai.org/index.htm or find another alternative in theirstate. If you think our efforts are worthy, would you please support uswith a small gift?* Thank you for caring enough to get involved. Sincerely, Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and ChairmanAmerican Family Association P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends! You are receiving this mailing because you participated in anAFA-sponsored poll, petition, or action alert. You are subscribed to _AFAActionAlert_ as _tbeard@truevine.net_. In keeping with our privacy policy, AFA may periodically contactyou regarding issues of concern to the family. Rest assured that yoursubscription e-mail address will be kept in the strictest confidence.We do not divulge, nor make available to any third party, oursubscription list. Your privacy is paramount to us! Unsubscribe Update E-mail Addresshttp://www.afa.net/petitions/listservices/process.asp?mid=9360350&list=afapetition If you are a Federal Civilian, Postal or Military Employee, pleaseconsider AFA (#2058) for your annual CFC participation. Questions or comments about AFA? Contact us via email,phone, fax, or postal mail. *American Family Association* P O Drawer 2440 Tupelo, MS 38803 1-662-844-5036 Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved
Lord, I praise you for being the God that is good and holy. I pray for America to be a country you can be proud of. Thank you for allowing our family the freedom to choose to homeschool our children. Our aim is that they be closer to You, and know You more, and to find their very being in You. If it be Your will, raise up Christian spouses for our children who love You above anything and everything else, and they can receive ALL the benifits of marriage and family through You.
From AFA:
AFA ActionAlertDonald E. WildmonFounder and Chairman *June 19, 2006* *National Education Association Set to Endorse Homosexual Marriage* Dear Tara, *Teacher's union begins plans to promote homosexual marriage in publicschools* The National Education Association is set to endorse homosexualmarriage at their convention coming up in Orlando June 29 through July6. The new NEA proposal essentially says schools should support andactively promote homosexual marriage and other forms of marriage (twomen and one woman, three women, two women and three men, etc.) intheir local schools. The new proposal, expected to pass overwhelmingly, is found under theB-8 Diversity paragraph: _The Association... *believes in the importance of observances, programs and curricula* that accurately portray and recognize the roles, contributions, cultures, and history of these diverse groups and individuals._ _The Association believes that legal rights and responsibilities with regard to medical decisions, taxes, inheritance, adoption, legal immigration, domestic partnerships, *and civil unions and/or marriage belong to all these diverse groups and individuals.*_ *Translated, that means the NEA will promote homosexual marriage inevery avenue they have available, including textbooks, to all childrenat all age levels and without the permission or knowledge of parents.Their plans will include every public school in America.* Take Action ------------------------------------------------------------- First, please forward this to all parents with children in publicschools. They need to be aware of the plans the NEA has toindoctrinate their children with their pro-homosexual, homosexualmarriage agenda. - *Send your email to your NEA state affiliate.*https://secure.afa.net/afa/afapetition/takeaction.asp?id=204 - Please forward this to public school teachers you know so they canbe aware of the NEA's plans. In fact, their membership dues will beused to help implement the new NEA plan. AFA encourages teachers who do not approve of their dues going to theNEA to find an alternative teacher's group to help them retain theirbenefits. Teachers might want to give the CEAI home page a look -http://www.ceai.org/index.htm or find another alternative in theirstate. If you think our efforts are worthy, would you please support uswith a small gift?* Thank you for caring enough to get involved. Sincerely, Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and ChairmanAmerican Family Association P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends! You are receiving this mailing because you participated in anAFA-sponsored poll, petition, or action alert. You are subscribed to _AFAActionAlert_ as _tbeard@truevine.net_. In keeping with our privacy policy, AFA may periodically contactyou regarding issues of concern to the family. Rest assured that yoursubscription e-mail address will be kept in the strictest confidence.We do not divulge, nor make available to any third party, oursubscription list. Your privacy is paramount to us! Unsubscribe Update E-mail Addresshttp://www.afa.net/petitions/listservices/process.asp?mid=9360350&list=afapetition If you are a Federal Civilian, Postal or Military Employee, pleaseconsider AFA (#2058) for your annual CFC participation. Questions or comments about AFA? Contact us via email,phone, fax, or postal mail. *American Family Association* P O Drawer 2440 Tupelo, MS 38803 1-662-844-5036 Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved
Nell Rogers - The Hat Lady
Nell Rogers was a sweet widow who knew my in-laws for many years. She caught my attention because she often wore a hat to Sunday services along with her smile. Nell Rogers was a faithful servant of the Lord and continued to attend worship even after she was diagnosed with cancer. As cancer took over her body, she was uable to attend worship and moved from our church's "sick list" to the "shut-in" list.
I have been meaning to visit her or at least send her a card to let her know that I had been thinking of her. I bet that intention has been in the front of my mind for months and months now. So Sunday morning, I was so disappointed to learn or her passing. Although I know she is safe in the Master's care, I couldn't help feeling dissapointed in my own self for not showing her a small token of kindness in her final days of suffering here on earth. There goes another "missed chance" another "opportunity to serve" I thought. I don't like this empty feeling my conscience has left with me. It just doesn't seem right.
I can only imagine how I must disappoint my Master by wasting so many opportunities to shine - not f0r me - but for HIM. We only have today. Life is so very short and this walk is important. Lord help me to shine for you by comforting and helping the hurting along my walk of life. I only aim to please, but fail you too often. Thanks for having mercy on Your servant.
I have been meaning to visit her or at least send her a card to let her know that I had been thinking of her. I bet that intention has been in the front of my mind for months and months now. So Sunday morning, I was so disappointed to learn or her passing. Although I know she is safe in the Master's care, I couldn't help feeling dissapointed in my own self for not showing her a small token of kindness in her final days of suffering here on earth. There goes another "missed chance" another "opportunity to serve" I thought. I don't like this empty feeling my conscience has left with me. It just doesn't seem right.
I can only imagine how I must disappoint my Master by wasting so many opportunities to shine - not f0r me - but for HIM. We only have today. Life is so very short and this walk is important. Lord help me to shine for you by comforting and helping the hurting along my walk of life. I only aim to please, but fail you too often. Thanks for having mercy on Your servant.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Food for Thought
Sometimes only a few words speak volumes. Enjoy these insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. It's worth your two minutes. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California . In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a ra ilroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the
sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST
GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.
Dear Lord, may my being be in You.....
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a ra ilroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the
sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST
GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.
Dear Lord, may my being be in You.....
Thursday, June 01, 2006
OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT
Most of you who know me very well, understand that I spend a lot of time behind the wheel. In fact, those years of schooling and tuition were really unecessary because all I really need to know is how to drive a mini van and how to use a credit card to pay for gasoline. Just this morning I contributed $71.31 to the gasoline industry to refill the van and the gas cans. This week alone, I logged nearly 600 miles!!
Those who know me best also understand that I would rather drive than ride any day.. It's a "Bybee" trait. I would much rather be in control than put my life in someone else's hands. My brother is the same way. So any driving vacations Jason and I have ever taken together, he and I take turns at the wheel while our spouses relax..
About 2 weeks ago, May 20th to be exact, I had a life changing experience. Our oldest child Ethan had finally received his rite of passage - the long awaited learner's permit. He had studied the book and passed the written test with ease. I had intended to let Dad do the honors and teach him the ways of the road. However, we were in town at my in-laws on Saturday and I needed to take Ethan shopping for a pair of shorts at the outlet mall about a mile away. As we approached the van to get in, I realized taking the short, back road route might be something Ethan could handle and give him some driving experience.
With sweaty palms, I handed him the keys. He most eagerly accepted, went to the driver's side and hopped in with a wide, proud grin on his red headed freckled face. Then I was forced to park my rear in the passenger's seat and it hit me - my life is in the hands of a 15 year old!
Our van was parked directly behind my mother-in-law's Honda CRV. Other family memebers were present in the yard helping with her yardwork. I quickly canvased the yard to be sure our other 2 children were safe out of harm's way. Then Ethan put his foot on the brake, and put the van into gear. He turned his head to look out the back windows as he backed up. However, the van was in DRIVE, not REVERSE. I knew this before he took his foot off the gas, but froze still and mute. I couldn't say anything or do anything. Ethan gunned the gas pedal and let off quickly as we hurled forward. Thankfully the CRV stopped us as the van's bumper collided with the CRV's spare tire and we came to a complete stop. Since rubber hit rubber, there was no real damage to our van or her CRV. Also, my mother-in-law and Richard were in the yard and witness the whole event.
At this point I wanted to yank my first born out of the driver's seat and demote him to the back row of our van. But doing so would only prove I had no trust in his abilities to master the wheel. I won't always be around to drive for him, so it's imperative he master this skill. So I tried not to let my anxiety show. I told him no harm done, all is well, and assured him he could learn. We finally got turned around with the front of our van pointed in the direction we needed to go. Ethan didn't turn wide enough out of the drive, so our back wheel dropped off into the ditch. Ethan also underestimated how long it takes for a one ton vehicle to come to a COMPLETE stop. I found myself pressing harder and harder on my imaginary brake to no avail. We made it to the mall and I instructed my son to park far away from the doors. We finally came to a stop and he turned the engine off - without putting the van in park.
We both learned a lot on that first short drive. Ethan said, "That was a lot harder than I thought it would be." AMEN SON!! You will never know how hard that really was until you are teaching your own to drive and you are OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT!
This experience also paralles my spirtual life as well. I really do want to be in the driver's seat. I need to be reminded often that the driver's seat belongs to the Master and I must trust Him completely. I wonder if I often make HIM say "This is harder than I thought it would be." I bet Hewishes I would stay OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT and leave the driving to Him.
Those who know me best also understand that I would rather drive than ride any day.. It's a "Bybee" trait. I would much rather be in control than put my life in someone else's hands. My brother is the same way. So any driving vacations Jason and I have ever taken together, he and I take turns at the wheel while our spouses relax..
About 2 weeks ago, May 20th to be exact, I had a life changing experience. Our oldest child Ethan had finally received his rite of passage - the long awaited learner's permit. He had studied the book and passed the written test with ease. I had intended to let Dad do the honors and teach him the ways of the road. However, we were in town at my in-laws on Saturday and I needed to take Ethan shopping for a pair of shorts at the outlet mall about a mile away. As we approached the van to get in, I realized taking the short, back road route might be something Ethan could handle and give him some driving experience.
With sweaty palms, I handed him the keys. He most eagerly accepted, went to the driver's side and hopped in with a wide, proud grin on his red headed freckled face. Then I was forced to park my rear in the passenger's seat and it hit me - my life is in the hands of a 15 year old!
Our van was parked directly behind my mother-in-law's Honda CRV. Other family memebers were present in the yard helping with her yardwork. I quickly canvased the yard to be sure our other 2 children were safe out of harm's way. Then Ethan put his foot on the brake, and put the van into gear. He turned his head to look out the back windows as he backed up. However, the van was in DRIVE, not REVERSE. I knew this before he took his foot off the gas, but froze still and mute. I couldn't say anything or do anything. Ethan gunned the gas pedal and let off quickly as we hurled forward. Thankfully the CRV stopped us as the van's bumper collided with the CRV's spare tire and we came to a complete stop. Since rubber hit rubber, there was no real damage to our van or her CRV. Also, my mother-in-law and Richard were in the yard and witness the whole event.
At this point I wanted to yank my first born out of the driver's seat and demote him to the back row of our van. But doing so would only prove I had no trust in his abilities to master the wheel. I won't always be around to drive for him, so it's imperative he master this skill. So I tried not to let my anxiety show. I told him no harm done, all is well, and assured him he could learn. We finally got turned around with the front of our van pointed in the direction we needed to go. Ethan didn't turn wide enough out of the drive, so our back wheel dropped off into the ditch. Ethan also underestimated how long it takes for a one ton vehicle to come to a COMPLETE stop. I found myself pressing harder and harder on my imaginary brake to no avail. We made it to the mall and I instructed my son to park far away from the doors. We finally came to a stop and he turned the engine off - without putting the van in park.
We both learned a lot on that first short drive. Ethan said, "That was a lot harder than I thought it would be." AMEN SON!! You will never know how hard that really was until you are teaching your own to drive and you are OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT!
This experience also paralles my spirtual life as well. I really do want to be in the driver's seat. I need to be reminded often that the driver's seat belongs to the Master and I must trust Him completely. I wonder if I often make HIM say "This is harder than I thought it would be." I bet Hewishes I would stay OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT and leave the driving to Him.
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