This weekend we had a triple dunk, or as some other people call it, a triple baptism! It was awesome! The entire Relief Society room was filled and there was standing room only!! Longest baptism I have ever been to also! Almost an hour!! After the closing prayer, I took the kids and pretty much raced home to finish everything for the dinner. Richard likes to do a dinner after to help the new members get some fellowship. Without fellowshipping, new members tends to become inactive very quickly!
We had pulled pork, spanish rice, refried beans, chips and salsa and a bunch of mini desserts! People started arriving before Richard and soon the entire living room and dining room was filled!! I was beyond freaking out! I called Richard and told him to get home NOW!! I needed help and the kids were too busy running around being idiots and not helping. They were talking everyone's ears off! When Richard showed up the pulled pork burritos flew out of the kitchen and disappeared as fast as they hit the platter!! It eventually slowed down enough that Richard could go talk to our guests. I was stuck in the house refilling everything. My legs and hips still hurt from all the walking. Did not get alot to eat, but I was more thirsty then anything! I think I drank Riley's weight in water!!
All in all it was a great baptism with a great dinner following!!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Sadness
Lately I have been feeling sad. Not sure if it is because of the hormones of the pregnancy or something else.
I wish things were different at home. I wish Rebecca had more of a voice and would have talked to us before she moved out. Maybe then we could have a relationship with her and not have to hear through the grapevine that she is saying horrible things about us, and bad mouthing us on her facebook. I wish Christopher and Amberlin would stop making so many bad choices. They constantly are stealing and not doing all their work at school and then lying about it all. They get into stuff and do things that they know are wrong every day. Sometimes even the same thing they just saw the other one get in trouble for. I wish Kaitlyn would stop going out of her way to seem stupid and throwing attitudes EVERYWHERE!!! You ask her to do something and she tosses you an attitude and makes the whole feeling of the house go mean. She constantly says stupid things to get attention and we know she knows the difference. Utterly annoying. I wish my sister would learn that when I am watching a show or movie on television that I do not need or want a complete run down of her day or every interesting thing that happened on a show she watched or something about one of the actors in the show I am watching. I wish she would also stop telling everyone EVERYTHING like she is the expert on everything. She even told me when I do my math class when I get there, that she will do my homework for me. How am I suppose to learn then? Confused.
It's hard to go through a day without thinking or seeing all the sad things in our house. Also I am beginning to feel like I have no friends, that everyone at church is avoiding me. I know I am a horrible visiting teacher, but it is hard to be happy when you go to visit people and they are happy and you wish you could be happy. I hope that makes sense. It does in my head, but sometimes when I write it out I sound like a loon. It's hard to go through the day thinking that you have no friends. I want someone I can vent to, someone I can cry on their shoulder, someone to hang with. Sure I have Anne, but she has been to busy lately, I feel bad asking her to do anything because I do not want to take away from her seminary students. They need to learn what she has prepared all week to teach them. Everyone else, I feel does not like me or has no interest in hanging with me because they already have friends that they relate with better or have a long history with. Even Rachel found friends and she talks to them all the time!! Why is it I always find myself in someone's shadow? Richard's, Rachel's, etc?
I wish things were different at home. I wish Rebecca had more of a voice and would have talked to us before she moved out. Maybe then we could have a relationship with her and not have to hear through the grapevine that she is saying horrible things about us, and bad mouthing us on her facebook. I wish Christopher and Amberlin would stop making so many bad choices. They constantly are stealing and not doing all their work at school and then lying about it all. They get into stuff and do things that they know are wrong every day. Sometimes even the same thing they just saw the other one get in trouble for. I wish Kaitlyn would stop going out of her way to seem stupid and throwing attitudes EVERYWHERE!!! You ask her to do something and she tosses you an attitude and makes the whole feeling of the house go mean. She constantly says stupid things to get attention and we know she knows the difference. Utterly annoying. I wish my sister would learn that when I am watching a show or movie on television that I do not need or want a complete run down of her day or every interesting thing that happened on a show she watched or something about one of the actors in the show I am watching. I wish she would also stop telling everyone EVERYTHING like she is the expert on everything. She even told me when I do my math class when I get there, that she will do my homework for me. How am I suppose to learn then? Confused.
It's hard to go through a day without thinking or seeing all the sad things in our house. Also I am beginning to feel like I have no friends, that everyone at church is avoiding me. I know I am a horrible visiting teacher, but it is hard to be happy when you go to visit people and they are happy and you wish you could be happy. I hope that makes sense. It does in my head, but sometimes when I write it out I sound like a loon. It's hard to go through the day thinking that you have no friends. I want someone I can vent to, someone I can cry on their shoulder, someone to hang with. Sure I have Anne, but she has been to busy lately, I feel bad asking her to do anything because I do not want to take away from her seminary students. They need to learn what she has prepared all week to teach them. Everyone else, I feel does not like me or has no interest in hanging with me because they already have friends that they relate with better or have a long history with. Even Rachel found friends and she talks to them all the time!! Why is it I always find myself in someone's shadow? Richard's, Rachel's, etc?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Wondering
I posted on my Facebook a question and I got a lot of nice responses, but it still does not answer my question. Here is the reason for my question.
A friend of mine was getting married a few years ago and she asked me if I was available on a Saturday, if I could come help set up. She's my friend so I of course said yes. She had asked a few other girls who were friends to help also and they said yes. The plan was to meet at the reception and wedding location in the morning around 9am to help set up chairs and tables and decorations, etc. I was told the wedding was in the evening, so no big deal. Well about 6 weeks before the wedding, the invitations went out. The girls that were helping also, were playing the "Who got their invitation first" game. We all worked together, so when they got their invitation, they brought it to work. I had not gotten my yet, but they kept telling me don't worry you will. A week before the wedding, I still had not gotten an invitation. Bridal shower came, they got invites and I did not. My friends even got calls to see if they were coming or not because the Maid of Honor could not remember who she mailed invites to. No call to me. Wedding came and went and I got nothing. Of course, I did not go do any set up because I thought it was rude to ask me to set up and then not invite me to the wedding or reception. We still talk, but I never venture to ask why I was asked to help but not invited to the wedding. I guess I am too afraid of the answer.
Same thing happens now. Baby showers come and I find out about them weeks after, same with birthday parties. What have I done to make me people hate me or not want to invite me to stuff at all? I just wish I knew what I had done. Maybe moving out of the ward will help? Recently I feel as though no one would notice my absence at all.
Plus I am so dang tired of this same Sister CONSTANTLY asking about Rebecca!! I want to turn to her and say, why don't you ask so and so and see what he tells you? This Sunday though she asked if we had talked to her and if we knew where she was. I told her no we have not talked, we know where she is and do not car, she has told too many lies to even want anything to do with her. I want to go to the Bishop or RS President and ask them to tell her to stop asking about her. How can I get through a Sunday without her asking? I can't avoid her, that would be rude and I just can not tell her how I really feel because that would be wrong. I do want to beat the hell out of the young man or should I say child that lives with her for what he did to my family and how he helped Rebecca and lied and still lies about it. Richard was scared two Sundays ago when he walked way too close to me that I was gonna nail him. Trust me I was tempted, but I would not do that in church, even though I feel he deserves it. How can he repent for what he did and not admit it to us and apologize? Isnt the third step of repentence to Confess? Would that not be to the person you hurt?
A friend of mine was getting married a few years ago and she asked me if I was available on a Saturday, if I could come help set up. She's my friend so I of course said yes. She had asked a few other girls who were friends to help also and they said yes. The plan was to meet at the reception and wedding location in the morning around 9am to help set up chairs and tables and decorations, etc. I was told the wedding was in the evening, so no big deal. Well about 6 weeks before the wedding, the invitations went out. The girls that were helping also, were playing the "Who got their invitation first" game. We all worked together, so when they got their invitation, they brought it to work. I had not gotten my yet, but they kept telling me don't worry you will. A week before the wedding, I still had not gotten an invitation. Bridal shower came, they got invites and I did not. My friends even got calls to see if they were coming or not because the Maid of Honor could not remember who she mailed invites to. No call to me. Wedding came and went and I got nothing. Of course, I did not go do any set up because I thought it was rude to ask me to set up and then not invite me to the wedding or reception. We still talk, but I never venture to ask why I was asked to help but not invited to the wedding. I guess I am too afraid of the answer.
Same thing happens now. Baby showers come and I find out about them weeks after, same with birthday parties. What have I done to make me people hate me or not want to invite me to stuff at all? I just wish I knew what I had done. Maybe moving out of the ward will help? Recently I feel as though no one would notice my absence at all.
Plus I am so dang tired of this same Sister CONSTANTLY asking about Rebecca!! I want to turn to her and say, why don't you ask so and so and see what he tells you? This Sunday though she asked if we had talked to her and if we knew where she was. I told her no we have not talked, we know where she is and do not car, she has told too many lies to even want anything to do with her. I want to go to the Bishop or RS President and ask them to tell her to stop asking about her. How can I get through a Sunday without her asking? I can't avoid her, that would be rude and I just can not tell her how I really feel because that would be wrong. I do want to beat the hell out of the young man or should I say child that lives with her for what he did to my family and how he helped Rebecca and lied and still lies about it. Richard was scared two Sundays ago when he walked way too close to me that I was gonna nail him. Trust me I was tempted, but I would not do that in church, even though I feel he deserves it. How can he repent for what he did and not admit it to us and apologize? Isnt the third step of repentence to Confess? Would that not be to the person you hurt?
Saturday, April 20, 2013
ReAnna's Prom
I have Ruth Cox to thank for her make up, Goodwill for the dress and Fulton Mall for her accessories. I did her hair.
Friday, April 19, 2013
When it rains
yes it pours. When you think that everything is going along smoothly and things are falling into place and BOOM someone throws in a wrench and throws everything out of whack!
For instance, every house that we find that is perfect. Has the right number of rooms, RV parking, right area and right price, perfect for us! I call my real estate lady, she calls them and it is in pending status as of the day before! This has happened like 4 times! Now we are looking at another house, everything we want plus a pool, just a little more then we want but in a new ward boundaries. Cross your fingers we get this one! Though I still need to see if we can qualify for $250,000.
When we start to move on with the whole Rebecca incident, something else happens. Like we found out through one of her friends that she is telling people the we neat her and called her names and made her the slave of the house! WTH!?!?!? Funny thing is, she never tells anyone we know that only people who do not know us. What is her game?
I can't wait to move and start over. Richard really wants to go to Texas and live, but I can not transfer there until after we have a contract and a job I qualify for opens up. Plus I would stay here until the baby is born or maybe just wait until ReAnna has graduated and then go from there. I still want to buy a house thought.
I am still waiting for my classes at Willow International to open up so I can have a full load this summer. Just one more class is all I need! Pray I get it!! Otherwise I can not afford the books or anything for the one class and I have to drop it. I need 6 credits to get my Pell Grant without that, I can't go to school.
I just keep looking at the universe and saying WHAT ELSE!?!?!?
For instance, every house that we find that is perfect. Has the right number of rooms, RV parking, right area and right price, perfect for us! I call my real estate lady, she calls them and it is in pending status as of the day before! This has happened like 4 times! Now we are looking at another house, everything we want plus a pool, just a little more then we want but in a new ward boundaries. Cross your fingers we get this one! Though I still need to see if we can qualify for $250,000.
When we start to move on with the whole Rebecca incident, something else happens. Like we found out through one of her friends that she is telling people the we neat her and called her names and made her the slave of the house! WTH!?!?!? Funny thing is, she never tells anyone we know that only people who do not know us. What is her game?
I can't wait to move and start over. Richard really wants to go to Texas and live, but I can not transfer there until after we have a contract and a job I qualify for opens up. Plus I would stay here until the baby is born or maybe just wait until ReAnna has graduated and then go from there. I still want to buy a house thought.
I am still waiting for my classes at Willow International to open up so I can have a full load this summer. Just one more class is all I need! Pray I get it!! Otherwise I can not afford the books or anything for the one class and I have to drop it. I need 6 credits to get my Pell Grant without that, I can't go to school.
I just keep looking at the universe and saying WHAT ELSE!?!?!?
Monday, April 15, 2013
BBQ
Saturday was the Fresno North Stake Women's Conference. And lucky me, I was asked to decorate a table! I was so nervous about it too. The last few years the tables have looked like professional decoraters have done the tables. I was not sure if I could measure up, but I wanted to try. I think it looked pretty darn good, but I of course think it was totally amatuerish compared to the other tables!!
The classes were great. I learned alot. Lunch was great, as usual. Yummy!! I was so looking forward to it too. I was starving when lunch started and I almost ate like three other plates, but I stuck to one!
Sunday we had a BBQ and invited the Comstock's over for dinner! I ate 8 ribs! What the HECK!! I have not been able to eat more then one since two weeks after I found out I was pregnant! YUMMY!! The smell of the ribs cooking was intoxicating, especially on Fast Sunday!! I wanted to jump in the grill and start eating like a cave man!! I know I should not be fasting while pregnant, but it is hard to eat in front of the kids when everyone else is fasting, so I fast. I drink a glass of Milk and take my vitamins, but that is it!
How was your weekend?
The classes were great. I learned alot. Lunch was great, as usual. Yummy!! I was so looking forward to it too. I was starving when lunch started and I almost ate like three other plates, but I stuck to one!
Sunday we had a BBQ and invited the Comstock's over for dinner! I ate 8 ribs! What the HECK!! I have not been able to eat more then one since two weeks after I found out I was pregnant! YUMMY!! The smell of the ribs cooking was intoxicating, especially on Fast Sunday!! I wanted to jump in the grill and start eating like a cave man!! I know I should not be fasting while pregnant, but it is hard to eat in front of the kids when everyone else is fasting, so I fast. I drink a glass of Milk and take my vitamins, but that is it!
How was your weekend?
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Feelings
I have been really grouchy lately. At first I thought it was hormones because of the pregnancy, but I realized that I am angry. Angry at Rebecca, Maria, Eric, and Tiffany. Angry because Rebecca abandoned her family and left behind a trail of hurt and confusion. Angry at the Sanders because they stole my daughter and think they are her heroes. Angry because I can't tell Rebecca how hurt she has made me without playing her game and letting her think she has won. I know her goal with everything she has done is to hurt me. Changing her last name to Sanders, putting Maria down as her mother, calling her Mommy, Maria and Rebecca probouncing their mother daughter love for each other all over Facebook, etc. I can't tell Maria off because then I stoop to her level and become as petty as she is being telling Facebook that we are horrible people and she is wondergful and that her and Rebecca are going to get mother daughter tatoos.
I have so much anger towards these people and towards what Rebecca is doing. My hands are tied because no matter what I want to do, I still end up the bad guy and make them look like the knights in shining armor. It is very frustrating. Richard is holding out hope that she will be back before the baby is born, but I know she won't. Until Tiffany graduates next year and they still need a babysitter for James, she will stay there. Once she has to get a job and pay for her own stuff and bills, she will not be home.
It angers me that she threw all of us away for this new family. Her siblings did nothing to her and yet she won't talk to them or even try to keep in contact with them. Riley has no idea who she is anymore and this new baby will not know her until he or she is walking and over a year old. Rebecca is missing out on so much and she does not care. How can you leave your family so you can be an adult and still act like a child?
Richard was finally able to adopt her without all the crazy paperwork on December 21st of last year. We were all sealed together in 2006. Does that not mean anything to her anymore? She has not been to church since the Adult Session of Stake Conference in February. Does she still believe? Does she even care? Or is this new "family" and their "freedom" mean more to her now?
I am just not sure what to think or how to get my closure. Part of me wants to drag her home and beat the holy crap out of her and then beat the holy hell out of Maria and Tiffany, but then I would be having this baby in jail. I think she knows how much she has hurt us and she just does not care about anyone but herself. That was not how she was raised, that is what they are teaching her. She is no longer my daughter, she has become theirs. Through her want or their manipulation, I don't know. I pray for her to stop and for the hurt to stop, but every day something else reminds me.
Will the pain ever stop?
I have so much anger towards these people and towards what Rebecca is doing. My hands are tied because no matter what I want to do, I still end up the bad guy and make them look like the knights in shining armor. It is very frustrating. Richard is holding out hope that she will be back before the baby is born, but I know she won't. Until Tiffany graduates next year and they still need a babysitter for James, she will stay there. Once she has to get a job and pay for her own stuff and bills, she will not be home.
It angers me that she threw all of us away for this new family. Her siblings did nothing to her and yet she won't talk to them or even try to keep in contact with them. Riley has no idea who she is anymore and this new baby will not know her until he or she is walking and over a year old. Rebecca is missing out on so much and she does not care. How can you leave your family so you can be an adult and still act like a child?
Richard was finally able to adopt her without all the crazy paperwork on December 21st of last year. We were all sealed together in 2006. Does that not mean anything to her anymore? She has not been to church since the Adult Session of Stake Conference in February. Does she still believe? Does she even care? Or is this new "family" and their "freedom" mean more to her now?
I am just not sure what to think or how to get my closure. Part of me wants to drag her home and beat the holy crap out of her and then beat the holy hell out of Maria and Tiffany, but then I would be having this baby in jail. I think she knows how much she has hurt us and she just does not care about anyone but herself. That was not how she was raised, that is what they are teaching her. She is no longer my daughter, she has become theirs. Through her want or their manipulation, I don't know. I pray for her to stop and for the hurt to stop, but every day something else reminds me.
Will the pain ever stop?
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Update
Well this weekend was pretty busy on Saturday. It was my niece's prom and I had volunteered to do her hair. Ruth came over and did her makeup! It was great but very time consuming.
I wanted to have her hair in curlers before Ruth got there but Rachel spent like three hours looking for toeless nylons. She could have got them like the day before, but nope, she of course waited for the last minute. So they all got back to the house by 2:45, Rayna jumped in the shower and was still dressing when Ruth showed up. I sware Rachel and her children will be late to their own funerals one of these days!!
I put a bump it in her hair and then put a ton of curls into her hair. We took pictures in the front yard, where Rayna wanted to take some shots. Richard was suppose to do it, but he was at the priesthood session of conference. She looked pretty good. Rachel did her usuall my daughter is so perfect I do not understand why children are not as perfect as mine routine.
Sunday we watched conference and had our usual between session brunch. We had pancakes and sausage gravy with biscuits! Everything was pretty good and it all got eaten! I hate when there are leftovers!! After the last session we headed to Big Hat Days. We always go and look at everything. It was packed!!!! They really need to put turnstyles in front of the food trucks. It would make less of a traffic jam!
Monday was my anniversary dinner with my company. We went to Red Lobster and had a great time! I love their four course meal for $16.99! I brought two of the courses home I was so full after the first two!!
I wanted to have her hair in curlers before Ruth got there but Rachel spent like three hours looking for toeless nylons. She could have got them like the day before, but nope, she of course waited for the last minute. So they all got back to the house by 2:45, Rayna jumped in the shower and was still dressing when Ruth showed up. I sware Rachel and her children will be late to their own funerals one of these days!!
I put a bump it in her hair and then put a ton of curls into her hair. We took pictures in the front yard, where Rayna wanted to take some shots. Richard was suppose to do it, but he was at the priesthood session of conference. She looked pretty good. Rachel did her usuall my daughter is so perfect I do not understand why children are not as perfect as mine routine.
Sunday we watched conference and had our usual between session brunch. We had pancakes and sausage gravy with biscuits! Everything was pretty good and it all got eaten! I hate when there are leftovers!! After the last session we headed to Big Hat Days. We always go and look at everything. It was packed!!!! They really need to put turnstyles in front of the food trucks. It would make less of a traffic jam!
Monday was my anniversary dinner with my company. We went to Red Lobster and had a great time! I love their four course meal for $16.99! I brought two of the courses home I was so full after the first two!!
Monday, April 1, 2013
Crazy Weekend
We had one crazy weekend. It was fun but it was CRAZY!!
Riley's birthday was on Thursday, so I took the second half of my work day as a vacation day. Her and Richard were outside waiting for me when I drove up! It was so cute. She walked to me with a HUGE smile on her face!! We played and then we made dinner. We had finger foods because that is what she eats. So we had tater tots, chicken nuggets, green beans and corn. I got pizza bites, but they were too spicy, so we did not give her any.
The only dissappointment was Rebecca not texting or calling to wish Riley a happy birthday. She only has her first birthday once and she missed it to be with her new family. Very hurt that she would do that to Riley, who has done nothing to her at all or ever!
I took Friday off to help get everything ready for her party on Saturday. I made some really cute party favors. I took old baby food jars and put a tiny hole in the lid and then Richard spray painted them purple. I put a flower through the hole, filled the jar with robin eggs and then tied a yellow or purple ribbon around the top. It was very cute and resourceful. We got purple daisys from Costco and a few other things too. Plus we ordered a cake. I know, Richard makes cakes why did we buy one? We had so much food to make we ran out of time, so we ordered a cute one.
The party was fun, I just wish there had been more people there and more kids for Riley to play with. She got alot of clothes, a blanket and two baby dolls. She said ooooohhh to everything and became an expert at opening gift bags!!
Easter dinner was good. We had ham and turkey, mashed taters. brocoli and homemade rolls. I made cute cupcakes for dessert. I made muffin size chocolate cupcakes wnd filled them with strawberry jam. Topped them with the new cool whip frosting and dyed green coconut. Then I added Robin Eggs, a gummy fried egg and a foil chocolate bunny. Kids loved them.
I took pictures of Riley's party, so I will post that later!
How was your weekend?
Riley's birthday was on Thursday, so I took the second half of my work day as a vacation day. Her and Richard were outside waiting for me when I drove up! It was so cute. She walked to me with a HUGE smile on her face!! We played and then we made dinner. We had finger foods because that is what she eats. So we had tater tots, chicken nuggets, green beans and corn. I got pizza bites, but they were too spicy, so we did not give her any.
The only dissappointment was Rebecca not texting or calling to wish Riley a happy birthday. She only has her first birthday once and she missed it to be with her new family. Very hurt that she would do that to Riley, who has done nothing to her at all or ever!
I took Friday off to help get everything ready for her party on Saturday. I made some really cute party favors. I took old baby food jars and put a tiny hole in the lid and then Richard spray painted them purple. I put a flower through the hole, filled the jar with robin eggs and then tied a yellow or purple ribbon around the top. It was very cute and resourceful. We got purple daisys from Costco and a few other things too. Plus we ordered a cake. I know, Richard makes cakes why did we buy one? We had so much food to make we ran out of time, so we ordered a cute one.
The party was fun, I just wish there had been more people there and more kids for Riley to play with. She got alot of clothes, a blanket and two baby dolls. She said ooooohhh to everything and became an expert at opening gift bags!!
Easter dinner was good. We had ham and turkey, mashed taters. brocoli and homemade rolls. I made cute cupcakes for dessert. I made muffin size chocolate cupcakes wnd filled them with strawberry jam. Topped them with the new cool whip frosting and dyed green coconut. Then I added Robin Eggs, a gummy fried egg and a foil chocolate bunny. Kids loved them.
I took pictures of Riley's party, so I will post that later!
How was your weekend?
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