Last Blog of The Year

Today is the last time I will be posting on my blog until next year, unless something exciting happens, then I will blog about it. As of 3:15 this afternoon I will be on vacation until 2014. I will get to sleep in, feed Sariah, finish wrapping gifts, bake Christmas treats, etc. I am so looking forward to that for the two weeks I am on vacation. It is hard to believe that there is only a few days left until Christmas. I am so looking forward to this year. Riley is old enough to be excited about opening her own gifts. She is going to be so dang happy!! She has been watching the Christmas movies with us and seems to be liking them. So happy about that! Plus she has been regularly sleeping in her toddler bed in her room all through the night. I can't wait for Sariah to do the same. I am really tired lately. Today is Richard's birthday and he is 48. Wow how time flies, especially with babies and all those kids. I am making his traditional Chicken Fried Steak dinner this year! Fresh rolls, salad, squash, mashed potatoes and gravy! Yummy!! Can not wait!! I have said that we have been watching Christmas movies lately and the one that really touched my heart was The Heart of Christmas. It is about a family that has a two year old that is dying from Leukemia. It is a great story, but very sad. I totally suggest the movie!! Have a Christmas filled with family and love and the spirit of Christmas. Keep Christ in Christmas this year. Also have a happy and safe New Years!!

Christmas is almost here!

Before I knew it here it is less then ten days until Christmas. I still have tons of treats to make and gifts to wrap. I have not even started to decorate the tree or watch It's A Wonderful Life!! We are so behind this season. Richard was asked to cook for our ward Christmas party and to help with the Single Adults Christmas party. So we spent the first two weeks of the season planning and buying the food for both parties. But luckily we had already decided on what to get the kids for Christmas and were slowly making those purchases happen. Riley has been just talking our ears off lately. Sure some of it is mumble jumble, but she throws in perfectly clear words every now and then. She told me Thank You on Sunday. She loves to give high fives and pounds it. So darn cute. We took her to Cindy Lane and she kept saying WOW WOW WOW, Mama Wow!! Christmas this year is going to memorable for her and for us. I can not wait to see the look on her face when she sees her kitchen for the first time. Plus I can't wait to see her tear into a gift! We have to wait for Christmas Eve to put any of the wrapped gifts under the tree. Too worried she will open gifts prematurely. We had our office party this past Monday and it was pretty awesome. We shared treats and goodies and some great appetizers plus we had a White Elephant Gift Exchange. It was so fun.

Christmas Spirit

Where did the spirit of Christmas go? It's like no one remembers the true meaning of Christmas anymore. Everyone is out trying to buy their children's love. Christmas is about Christ's birth! Nothing more. The gifts are a bonus. Getting your kids tons and tons of gifts without telling them the real meaning of Christmas is doing your children an injustice. Whether you go to church or not, they should know about Jesus' birth. People are so rude at the stores. Blocking aisles and knocking things down. It is just crazy out there and it is only going to get worse. Two ladies got into a fight in a store and one of them pulled out a taser!!! All over some stupid item that was on sale that day and they just had to have it!! CRAZY!!!

Long time coming...

I know it has been a long time since I blogged. Things are crazy at our house right now.
Sariah came an entire month early, so instead of having a 6 week old baby, we have a 10 week old baby.  Here is the story of her birth.

Wednesday September 4th, 1:00 am.
     I woke up feeling something start to run down my legs. I got out of bed quickly but not before leaving a wet spot on the bed.  As I felt water running down my legs, I told Richard, "I think my water broke."  I ran to the bathroom and tried to confirm that it broke.  Not having felt any contractions, I was really confused.  Richard had only fallen asleep half an hour before, so he was hoping I had just peed myself.  Embarrassing as it may be, I was hoping that was all it was because she was way too early and I was scared. 
    I put a towel down and Richard went down and got me a puppy pad to sit on while we figured out what to do.  By the time he got back to our room with the pad, Riley was awake and crying.  I climbed back into bed, yess on the puppy pad, and Richard put Riley in my lap, her normal middle of the night position.  She drank from her cup and curled up with her head on my leg.  I of course was too scared to sleep, so I stayed awake until about 545 and then we got up and Richard called the hospital to see what we should do.  They said come in through the emergency room and they will take me back to labor and delivery triage. 
     After I did the usual get undressed and pee in a cup, they did a paper test to see if it was my water that broke or not.  It came back negative, so they ordered another more accurate test that was more expensive.  That too came back negative. There was a change of nurses and the nice nurse left and the more blunt nurse came on.  She told me that I more then likely peed on myself.  Inside I was thinking, my bladder can not hold that much liquid but maybe.  So we went home!!
    Once we were home, we of course went back to bed.  I woke up about 4:30, the same time that Riley got up from her nap.  I picked her up and headed downstairs.  As I was halfway down the stairs I felt another rush of fluid run down my legs. Luckily I had put on a pad so the spillage was not that bad, but I did have to change my pants.  I planted myself on the couch and refused to move.  Richard came down about an hour later and got dinner ready.  I tried to eat something but most of it came back up.  I was just too nervous to eat anything.
     When it was time to take the kids to Mutual, Richard took me back to the hospital to get rechecked.  I was steady gushing liquid every time I moved since I came down the stairs from my nap.  We headed straight back to Labor and Delivery Triage and luckily ran into the really nice nurse coming back to work.  She let us in and got us a bed.  She came in and did the paper test again and this time it was inconclusive, so here came the other test.  This time I got two lines within minutes.  Richard went around to look before the nurse came back and said there are two lines.  When the nurse came back, she confirmed that my water broke and we were having her tonight.
     I was wheeled into surgery and Sariah was born at 11:40 pm. Weighing 5 pounds 10 ounces and was 19 inches long.  She cried but was very quiet after that.  They gave her to Richard and he got to cut the cord.  She too had a knot and the cord was around her neck.  As I was being wheeled into the recovery room, they placed her on my chest and I held her the entire way there.  Soon after I got there, Richard ran to the cafeteria to get something to eat.  They had taken her from me and was giving her a bath when he returned.  After watching her breath the nurse decided she needed to go to the nursery.  Richard went with her to the nursery and when they took her to NICU, he stayed with her all night long.  HE came back to give me updates, but then ran back to her.  I was unable to go see her until I was not throwing up.  The Pitocin makes me sick.  I eventually got to go see her and they let me hold her before they put the tube down her throat to feed her. 
     Sariah was pulling to hard with her stomach muscles while breathing, so she had to have air.  Then she needed a tube down her throat and an IV.  Then she tested positive for jaundice and was put under the ultraviolet light.  She was there until September 10th.  Saturday after a baptism our Bishop and his wife came to visit us in the NICU.  Together him and Richard gave her another blessing and that next morning she was sucking the bottle on her own!!! It was a miracle!!
     I was discharged on Sunday, but spent every waking hour with her and supplying her with breast milk until she came home.  I got visits from my friends Sarah Rowley and Anne Arnold and her husband along with the Bishop and his wife.  The kids even got to go in an see her, Riley too!!

Changes

Hard to believe but our family will grow to nine in 27 days! This is my last week at work and then I am on maternity leave until 2014!!! I have finished rearranging our room so that Sariah has her space and Riley has hers. Funny how you rearrange and you end up with more room. There was alot of clutter in our room that I removed and put where it was suppose to be. Her wall is done, now just to finish her blanket and mobile (which I have yet to start). That is it. Well I need to make her some hats and a quilt but that I can do pretty much whenever. My first task after I go on Maternity Leave is to potty train Riley. We bought her panties and another potty chair. Getting her to sit on the potty long enough to go is going to be the challenge. We are going to start with every half an hour and then work up to an hour to go to the potty. I am hoping that with how smart she is, she gets this fast like Rebecca and ReAnna did. We are trying a new routine with her. She gets up, has breakfast, gets dressed and then plays until lunch and then nap time. Then she plays and when it is bedtime, she goes to bed. Last night was rough cause I put her to bed a little to early, I was exhausted, so it took her a long time to fall asleep. She woke up alot but finally slept until 830 this morning, so Richard got to sleep in a bit. I of course went to work at 6:30. So I am at work and trying to get through my last week of work!! 27 days!!!!

First week of school

Well first week of school has come and gone. I was hoping for a more dramatic week but the only drama we had was Kaitlyn not taking her medicine for three days and acting like a complete loon and Christopher and Amberlin being sick for two to three days out of last week. Richard and I are on our second week of school and so far so good. I am struggling to keep caught up with everything, but I am doing it. The hardest part I have is the discussions. Basically it is a chat room where you leave your opinion or answer questions that the teacher has posted. I am trying very hard to sound intelligent on these chats, but it is hard. I keep wanting to reference everything back to my work history or to my kids. Econ 1A is so far not as hard as I expected, but I am going to guess it will get harder. All my business classes are going pretty well, just having trouble not falling asleep reading the chapters. They are so boring and wordy. I have learned some stuff, but not sure how to use it yet. I am looking forward to next semester when I get to take an English, Math and Science class. Getting the requirements down and then I can get my AS in Accounting, I am going for an AA in Computer Technology. Both degrees will help me get where I want to be at AT&T, ComTech!! I redyed my hair and so far the smell is making me horribly naseaus. Blech and double blech. You think with all this modern science hair dye can smell like strawberries or the ocean and not some horrible chemical that lets everyone out there know you dye your hair. I prefer to let people think that I had gray coming through last week and miraclously it dissappeared overnight. What do you think? I only have two weeks left of work and then I am on Maternity leave until after Sariah is born. That puts me coming back to work in 2014! YEE HAW!! I have so much to do for her and I need like a week solid to work on it. I need to reorganize the dressers. I need to move Riley's clothes into her new dresser that Joelle gave me and then put all the newborn clothes in the big dresser for Sariah. I need to take the white shelves and restock it for Sariah with diapers and wipes, lotions, baby shoes, blankets, etc. Plus I need to finish her blanket, make the hats and make her name sign for over her bassinet. Plus I think we are putting Riley in the room with Rebecca and then Christopher will go in with Amberlin and ReAnna, but we have not completely decided yet. Not sure yet, I just hope Riley learns to sleep through the night here pretty soon, so that I do not have to worry she will wake up Sariah or vice versa. We bought another potty chair for Riley and it will go into the downstairs bathroom. So as soon as I am on Maternity Leave, we start potty training. She loves to sit on her potty upstairs and gets pretty excited when she goes potty in it. We are going to get her a few pairs of tiny panties for her to wear once we get a set pattern and she goes in the potty without accidents. I am hoping she will be potty trained before Sariah is born. Diapers are expensive!!!!! Funny thing is all her pants will be baggy when we are done. I love how 24 monthes and smaller clothes are designed with big butts for diapers. She always looks like she has a big booty with hr bottoms on! I can't wait to see how tiny her butt is in panties!! Wish me luck!!

First Day of School

Totally amazing that the first day of school becomes the first day of illness at my house! Amberlin started the day vomitting and then Christopher came home after school vomiting. What the heck is with that? Why must the bugs start this early in the year. Give me at least a few weeks before some dreaded disease makes it's way around my family. The kids tend to not want to do anything but lay around and whine. Then they think they are well so they gulp like four glasses of water and within 2 minutes here it comes again!! Glad they attempt to make it to the bathroom and not like last time when they just barfed all over the carpet and left it there until we got up the next morning and discovered the smell and the mess. That was the grossiest thing I ever saw! Very glad my kids are old enough to clean it all up themselves cause if I had to do it, I would have been sick too!! They whine and complain, but they do it. Luckily we have a carpet cleaner and I was able to steam clean the carpet when they were done. Other then that, the first day seemed about as successful as last year. Of course no homework yet so all the kids are loving school. Well ReAnna already has homework, but that is to be expected with online school. She is mainly concentrating on Government, English and PE this week until her teacher can put the rest of the classes she needs on there, including her failed classes from somphmore year. Rebecca will be helping her this year and not my sister. Rachel apparently insulted ReAnna's last two teachers, so they do not want to work with her again. SO she is off limits. Her teacher this year has been warned about my sister so she is prepared. Speaking of Rachel, she is starting to really drive me nuts!! She stays in the room she shares with Kaitlyn all day and does nothing but homework and watches tv. She claims to have no money, but she has her books and she keeps getting new clothes and shoes. She borrows her friend's car so she can get to work. She use to help us with Riley, do the laundry and join us for dinner, now she does nothing. Richard said it is like having a roommate that won't pay rent. She shows off for her friends when Riley is around but other than that we get nothing out of her. When she does come down to fill her cup with water, she talks our ear off. School for Richard and I is going well. I am keeping us up to date on our homework, but it is hard. Rebecca is having troubles. She has four classes and unfortunately wrote out these wonderful notes, but only for one book. So when she took a test for another class, mind you these are open book tests, she got 40 out of 250. I am trying to maintain my 3.42 average and keep Richard's up there also. So everyone has homework in my house except Riley, but she will start potty training as soon as I go on maternity leave!! That will be her homework! Plus teaching her stuff and new words. She does have a pretty big vocabulary lately. Her latest is I do!, Mom want daddy, Bye, Nigh Nigh, I stuck, Chicken, Kitty, Doggy, Bell Bell, Anna, Becca and she almost says brother and she sings now. She understands Mommy and Daddy go bye bye and she gets to wave bye bye to us, no crying! She loves to grab things she is not allowed to have and run like a loon away from us. Last night she was standing on the dining room chair and was typing on the computer!! It was so cute!

Long time no blog

It seems like I have not blogged in FOREVER!!! Alot has happened lately.

Richard got a job and everything that did not seem like it would work out, is now working out!! He ordered the dipping case for the ice cream and yes they are getting SUPERIOR DAIRY!! Yummy!! I can not wait!  It will be in August sometime. I will keep you updated!!  He is also going back to school so that we can defer the student loan payments, just for a little bit until we can afford to pay them. 

I got an A in my computer class and two B's in my library reserach classes!!  Thank you Diana for all your help!! It was greatly appreciated!! My fall schedule starts on August 12th.  Very nervous because I am taking some harder classes and I have a full load.

Sariah will be here in about 6 weeks! I am sorta freaking out about that too!! I am happy that she is coming but I am terrified to have two babies in the house!!  One a newborn and one a very stubborn 16 month old.  Not sure how that is going to pan out. 

Richard's boss is concerned about him taking three days off to be with me in the hospital, so we are going to ask the doctor is he can schedule the c section for a Monday because the bakery is closed on Sunday and Monday.  I am freaking about being alone and how is Riley going to function without me for three days. She has never been away from me for more then a few hours. I am always there when she goes to bed and when she wakes up. Going to be hard for the both of us!!  Rebecca is suppose to come help me while Richard is at work, just trying to figure out how to get her there.  I am hoping that maybe a friend can bring her, but I think that is alot to ask of a friend. It will work itself out though.

Our garden is doing great.  We have cantelopes, watermelon, cucumber, tomatoes, squash, pumpkin, beans, peas, sunflowers, japanese eggplant, eggplant, and brussell sprouts!! YEAH!! Everything is growing nicely and I can not wait to be able to eat from the garden this fall!  I planted ALOT of brussell sprouts because we all LOVE them!! Yummy!! If you have never like brussell sprouts, ask Richard how he cooks them and his method will change your mind!

Riley is popping up with alot of new words lately. Bubble, I do, Hi guys, bathroom, buy it, etc.  Plus she went to nursery this past Sunday for the first time and they are expecting her back this next Sunday.  Richard and I peaked at her and she was playing with a push toy that made a popping noise.  She loved it!! I miss my baby though.  She is 16 months and I guess the earlier she gets use to it the easier it will be.  She got there just in time for snack and was HAPPY!!! They were serving cheese and fruit snacks. She is a cheese lover!! We have cheese sticks in the fridge because she prefers food on the go.  She loves to wave bye bye and to give hugs and kisses. We now have a night night routine and she tells us when she is tired. Even for naps!!!! She took over my frog pillow pet, that I spent MONTHS looking for and one of my frogs I got as a gift from Richard as her sleeping companions. Very cute!  She even has a preferred blanket right now too!  She floors me with how darn smart she is!

So how have you been?

Tired

I am just so dang tired lately. Could it be the pregnancy mixed with my age or is it a combination of that and the heat. Whatever it is, I am sure tired. We go to bed at a pretty good time and Riley now sleeps in her own bed. She gets up about 5 hours later and is up for only about ten minutes max to get a drink and snuggle for a few minutes with me and then back to her bed. Then my alarm goes off at 5:25 and i snooze for about twenty more minutes, get up and get things ready for work. Normally Riley will sleep right through all that, but she is teething so she is restless. That means shower time is before bed not in the morning to help me wake up.

Walking from my car to my desk is tiring also for me. I try to avoid walking very much at work, but I do need to get up every once in awhile because my hips start to hurt or my butt falls asleep. I am just completely falling apart with this pregnancy and I am thinking about doing this all over again!

Yes we are thinking about having one more after this if Dr Illingworth says I can. Riley was my third c section, Sariah will be my fourth and if we try for another it will be my fifth. I hope he says we are good to try again! Though every time we "try" nothing happens, so if it is meant to happen, then it will on it's own time that Heavenly Father has planned.

I think part of my being tired is that Kaitlyn is just trying my patience EVERY DAY!! She decides how to administer her medication to herself, sometimes not even taking it at all and then telling us she did. We have to tell her constantly to stop doing this and stop doing that, but she does not stop. She drives me nuts!! She goes out of her way everyday to alienate herself from the family or to try to be different. For example, everyone was playing in the rain last night and she tried to stay inside and not play.  After we made her go outside to play she kept trying to bring Riley in, saying Riley wants to come inside. When she puts Riley down, Riley screams and runs to the door. She wanted to come in and wanted to force Riley in so she had an excuse to stay inside. She does this on a regular basis or she carries Riley everywhere even though she is fighting to be put down. I fear with how lazy she is getting, that she is only going to get worse and the weight that she keeps gaining is going to get worse. Their doctor is not worried yet, but he said if she continues her steady weight gain, he will be concerned.

Plus I am getting really tired of my sister living with us. I feel she is taking advantage of us and does not care. She barely helps out anymore and spends most of her time reading or watching shows on her computer again now that summer school is over.  She only associates with the family during dinner time. Otherwise she in on the computer or up her friends butts. She won't go to our wards RS activities or Ward Activities, she goes the Clovis 2nd Ward. I think she should move over there. Plus she has a complaint about EVERYTHING!! She went to the temple to do baptisms and complained that someone was dunking people too hard. She always has a complaint about everywhere she goes, she is a very negative person. Plus she thinks she knows everything about everything even her car that is broke. Not sure why she asked a mechanic to help her when she has already told him what is wrong with it.

Well back to the grindstone.  We are having a salad bar today and I totally left my salad fixings at home. I feel so stupid!! Maybe I can get something delivered?

Crazy Catching Up TIme

It has been a crazy week!!

We left for our camping trip in the late afternoon on Friday the 5th. On our way up we blew out a tire on the trailer and unfortunately forgot to put the spare in the camper. We ripped it off on a previous camping trip. Long Story.  We ended up taking it off but we made it to our camping spot, very slowly.  As usual there was no one up there at all.  We managed to get ahold of my sister and had her bring up everything we forgot and the spare. We spent a few hours at Shaver Lake and it was PACKED!!! There was a flipping line to get in about a mile long! WEIRD!! Riley totally loved playing in the lake. She got her face in the water about three times but was not scared. Of course she played naked and she loves being NAKED!!

We found out later that day that there was a fire ban so we could not have a campfire at all. The sheriff did tell us that there was a fireworks show over the lake that night. That totally explains all the cars!  We could see the show from our campsite and it was pretty good!! Our second fireworks show of the week!! YEAH!! There was alot of very loud and rude people up by us watching the show also.

The next morning we got up and some of the firework viewers stayed the night. They turned on some loud music for a little and then left. It was distrubing to say the least. It was a beautiful quiet Sunday until they played their loud music, but they left and everything went back to beautiful and quiet.

We came home Monday afternoon after another fiasco with the tire. It went flat!!! We made it to Cressmans and filled it up.  Then off to home. I was sunburned!! We cleaned out the camper and everyone showered!!

I took the next few days off and we got our winter garden prepared.  WE missed out on Spring because of the chicken coop. Just ran out of time. So we weeded two of the garden squares, turned the soil and mixed in steer manure.  I installed and fixed the sprinklers. I capped off most of them except for the ones I put valves on with hose and little sprinklers. We planted seeds in stryafoam cups and planted some plants.  So far the plants in the cups are growing! I can not wait to transplant them into the garden!!  The gardeners are going to poison the other section of garden so we can pull the weeds and turn it and mix in steer manure!  Then I am planting the beans and peas there. I am building a contraption so the beans and peas can climb them. There is one other section of the garden but I need to get the weeds out, turned and soil and steer manure mixed it. Then we are going to try Brocoli and Cauliflower. I want to do Butternut squash too, but that will be after the pumpkins are done!

We found out that we do have 2 roosters, so if any one wants them, call me!! Plus that cat that adopted us, is pregnant!! What the heck are we going to do with that!??

Yesterday we went to look at some restaraunt equipment and take care of Richard's tickets from 2009.  We got his license released so now we can run down and get his license renewed and then that will take care of another ticket. Plus we need to get his Fixit ticket signed off for the tags actually being on the car now. That will eliminate another ticket!! Crazy what can happen in just a week, huh?

July

I have not posted in awhile. How strange, huh? The last time I hadn't posted in awhile was because I was out on Maternity Leave and no Sariah has not arrived yet.  I still have like 12 weeks left!  Though I have been having dreams of her coming a month early. Wonder what that means?

The last Tuesday of June, Kaitlyn had a swim event with Mutual and she was complaining that her suit was too small and she needed a new one. Weird thing is it fine great according to her about two weeks prior when she was trying it on for the Malcolm's End of the School Year Party. Richard had her try it on and we did all the squats and toe touches and the suit did not ride up or move. It fit her perfectly with no fear of the straps falling off or the back riding into a thong. So she complains again saying, it's tight though. So he tells her, suits are suppose to be tight to keep everything in and from falling out. End of discussion, she was not getting a new suit because the next size up was a 14 and she had on a 12. Wasn't happening and beside we were broke until payday.  So Saturday comes and Richard tells all the kids to put on their swimsuits so they can go swimming in our pool, (blowup Intex type, no in ground at our rental).  They all come down and she starts complaining that her suit leg ripped and she has no idea how it happened. ReAnna and Amberlin pop up and say you do to, we watched you pull on it until it ripped. Pretty much she did it on purpose to try to force us to buy her a new swimsuit. Richard told her at that point, if your swim suit falls apart anymore it will be shorts and a t shirt she will be swimming in the rest of the summer. She will not be getting a new swimsuit until Costco brings out the new Speedo's next season. Needless to say she was mad because her damaging her swimsuit did not get the outcome she wanted. And I was just about to suggest going to Kohl's to get everyone a new suit because I had a 30% plus another 15% off coupon. Oh well.

Sunday was very hot and Riley just does not understand at all anything about extreme heat. She wants to go outside at all costs!! So we did 5 minute trips, everyone taking a turn. Sadly we all had to drag her in screaming because she wanted to stay outside.  At dinner I ended up outside with her pushing her in her stroller all over the yard. She has figured out how to get in, pull the tray down and lean back and wait for her ride to begin. I pushed her a good ten times around the yard and then took her out. She played in her little pool for another 10 minutes but no more, I was HOT!! We went inside and she seemed happy to be in the AC.

Monday was hot also and the same routine with her getting walked around the backyard commenced. I put the stroller all the way down and she layed down and relaxed while I pushed.  I am so glad she is really liking her stroller, but it is too hot to breath outside!! I sware we are being cooked for the impending zombie invasion!!  Yes I like zombie movies!! If a zombie invasion ever happens, we are safe!! I got this down!! LOL! Though is the zombies move like World War Z, we all dead! Take the cyanide now!!

Tuesday Richard was off and running around checking out things for the bakery. It looks like he will be working at Dore Bakery and managing the lunch and new dinner menu! Totally awesome!! He is going to do a 8-12 internship with the church, so that he can get a small income for now. Otherwise he is going to have to work for free until they can get an ice cream dipping station and sandwich cart. It will be nice to have two incomes again. Bills will get paid and eliminated finally!!!

Richard suggested on Tuesday that we go camping, leaving Friday night and coming home Monday night.  I really do not want to go. I am uncomfortable sleeping and so is Riley, but ultimately we will end up going. I will be pregnant and miserable, Riley will sleep poorly and so will I.  I am 27 weeks pregnant and really will not have fun camping. Sucks, huh?

Thursday is the Fourth of July!! YEAH!! We are having ribs, tri tip, corn, baked beans, potato salad, jello stainglass, watermelon, cantelope and fresh homemade rolls!!  Yummy!! I love ribs and tri tip!! I cannot wait!! Not sure about what we are doing about Fireworks, but we plan to try to watch it at Buchanan from the Peach and Nees building parking lot.

Just remember when you celebrate our freedom this Thursday  remember those that fought and died for us to have the freedom that we do now.  Freedom is given to us from those that fought for it!!

Happy Safe and Fun Fourth of July!!

Struggles

I struggle with where my place is alot. Where is my place in the home? In church? With the ward? At work?

Where do I stand? Not sure if anyone REALLY knows who I am and if they even care. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in Richard's shadow everywhere. Everyone knows he can do alot of stuff, but not one thing about me. Richard cooks, bakes, goes to school, is a priesthood holder, head of the house, manages the missionaries, talks to everyone, etc. Me, it's hard to come out of your shell when you keep getting shoved back in. Rachel always makes me feel like I am stupid. She dominates conversations or sits like a bump and people come out of the woodwork to talk to her. I try to be friendly but I always feel like I am annoying people.

I go to the activities but I always end up in the corner watching everyone have fun and try to engage my sister. It's high school all over again. Everyone knows who she is and thinks Rhonda is her middle name. I should stop going, but I go hoping everytime will be different. Maybe one day it will be. This Thursday is an activity, so here's to hoping someone will talk to me and I don't feel like I am annoying them.

At home my kids refuse to listen to me. I told Christopher to move away from Dad while he is playing Zelda so he doesn't get hit by the controller and he sat there and completely ignored me. I ask Kaitlyn to stop carrying Riley everywhere and she still carries her everywhere. I ask the girls to come set the table or clean the kitchen after dinner and they ignore me. Ask Christopher to take out the gargabe or recycles and he continues drawing. I am getting tired of asking, but what is my other option? Do it myself? It seems like that is what it will come down to. I go to work 5 days a week for 8 hours and then come home and clean 6 days a week for two to three hours. They spend all day dcoing nothing, but expect to be given whatever they want. I will probably have Sariah too soon if I have to do that. But it may come down to that. The blanket and getting stuff ready for Sariah will never get done. I am still trying to finish her blanket but I keep having to ask over and over again for help. I need to get the bassinet down and fix up her side of the room and wash and put her clothes away. So much to do for her and family, but no time at all. With a family of six you would think they would want to help.

Need to Vent

I need to vent really bad about my sister and how she is driving all of us completely nuts!!

My sister moved in with us in September and in the beginning it was great. She helped alot with Riley, helped clean the house, helped the kids with their homework, etc.  Pretty much she bent over backwards to help.  That all went down the tubes once she got her Pell Grant money. She bought her books and her laptop and ever since then, down the tubes we go.

Laundry sits for days before she does anything with it. She asked if she could do the laundry because she likes it. Her words, not mine. She barely does anything with the kids or Riley, barely gets off her butt to do anything at all!  She sits on her butt at the table and watches television on her computer all day long or reads books. She was instrumental in helping ReAnna get her library card back good and active and told ReAnna and Richard she would take ReAnna to the library in exchange she could borrow books on ReAnna's card. So far she has taken her one dang time!! But she goes to the library's website and reserves books(5-10) for herself and some for ReAnna (1-3). She insists she needs to read the books ReAnna orders to make sure they are ok for her to read. When she goes walking with her friends, she leaves early, runs to the library and picks up the books she has requested. She says she barely eats, but inhales food whenever we are not home. The kids tell us all this. For lunch one time she ate a salad from Walmart, a container of cottage cheese and an entire package of salami. For breakfast one time she ate a bowl of cereal, and two homemade Sausage mcmuffins, double meat. She tells us she will only eat one plate of food for dinner, but she overloads it and scarfs it down in less then ten minutes. This past Sunday she ate 5-6 candy bars, full size, in one sitting!  Then she has broken two toliet seats in one bathroom and one in another and asked if we bought defective ones!?!? Does she not realize how big she is? I really do not think so. She squeezes herself into clothes that are a size too small and she thinks she looks good!! She sits in church and reads books on her tab, and she reads those raunchy love stories!!

Richard is at his whits end. She sits at the kitchen table in the middle of our lives and reads or watches her shows on her computer. We have to live around her bump on a log persona. She wants a job, but will only apply for certain types of jobs. When you are unemployed, wouldn't you apply for anything? I would. $8.00 an hour is better then nothing an hour. The kids know that when she is up they can do whatever they want because she is not paying a bit of attention to them.  We told her last night she needs to take the kids once a week to get books from the library and she was speechless. It will happen, especially if she wants to continue using ReAnna's library card. We all got library cards last night, so that they can read this summer and start to like reading. Plus we are looking at a membership to the zoo to go twice a month! Plus we want the kids to be able to ride their bikes to the zoo and she will need to drive Riley down there so she can play also! Richard is going to lay down the law and tell her what is expected of her.

Thank you for letting me vent!!

Happy News! Finally!!

Rebecca has decided to move home! I guess she finally saw the real people she was living with and realized she made a mistake. Either way we do not care. We had a long talk with her and things are going good. She is looking for a job and looking at going back to school. She is getting to know Riley again. The kids are acting like jerks, but what else is new. Hopefully that will change soon.

Surprise Visitor

We got a surprise visitor at church yesterday. Rebecca showed up! Our prayers for her to go back to church were answered. YEAH!! She went to the Thursday night activity and to the Beach trip on Saturday. Very happy about that.
Richard got a text during second hour from Rebecca asking if she could see the family. He of course said yes. For me it was an automatic no. He found her during third hour and got me out of Relief Society unknowing that she was waiting outside the door. At first I refused to even look at her but I came around.  Though I am still very hurt and very cautious.
Riley was terrfied of her. But if she keeps visiting, she will get use to her again. Hopefully she keeps visiting and she doesn't not see us for weeks again. We can only hope.

Spur of the moment plans

Richard decided he wanted to go camping tonight and come home tomorrow. So I am having the kids pack the camper and have everything ready so when Richard gets home, we can head straight to Mushroom Rock!! We are going to do a quick overnight, play for a little bit and head home. We are going with our friends to a Luau Style Party for their ward! I can not wait!! I love pig roasted under the earth. YEAH!!! I will post pictures after we return!!
Have a great weekend everyone!!

Family Visit

This past weekend was a VERY busy one for our family. Richard's sisters came in for a visit. One of his sisters came with her fiance from Missouri on Friday. Richard made their favorite family meal, Bacon Spaghetti.  It is pretty weird, but they all love it. Richar grew up pretty darn poor, so it was a meal their mom came up with when the cupboards were bare and that was all they had, noodles, bacon and tomato soup.
His sister from Arizona met us in the Sequoia's National Forest with her two children. Unfortunately there was no cell service at all, so we all drove around looking for each other. It was some sort of scavenger hunt, or so it seemed. We could have our picnic once we found them. We eventually did find them and had our lunch. Then we went to see General Sherman. You have to take a shuttle now to that, Moro Rock and the Giant Trees Museum. Took an extra hour to do all this, so we did not get home until about 8pm. Our plan was to be home at 6 and then have Richard's famous Chicken Wraps. Instead Richard made salads for everyone and took me out to Olive Garden for the anniversary of our first date. It was pretty darn cool that he remembered and I did not!
Sunday was church, chicken wraps and mexican feast day. We only went to sacrament, but Richard went back to church for Ward Council at one. Of course after he made the chicken wraps, I assembled like 6 of them. I never can do that as well as Richard can, but I try. Then we got everything ready for the Mexican Feast for dinner!  We had taco salads, chicken enchiladas, salsa, guacamole, chips, beans and rice. Yummy! We let the kids watch a movie so we could have a time to talk in quiet.
Monday we had a late breakfast and then started prep for our BBQ. We had Richard's ribs, baked beans, potato salad, jello salad, and corn (from Fresno State).  It was really really good!! We also had Hot Dogs for those that wanted them. My sister of course pretended like she does not eat alot, yet she ate like 6 ribs and 2 hot dogs.
She was a complete embarrassment this weekend. She sat at her spot at the dining room table and read or watched her movies on her computer. Richard had asked her before they arrived to not do that and that was all she did. But when her friend came over  for dinner while family was there, she would not shut up talking to her and her children. She was so darn rude!!!!! What is her darn problem?!?! I hate taking her anywhere! She was rude while we all were at the forest also. So now my husband's sisters think Rachel does not like them or is a snob. Of course when food was on the table she pigged out. That was the only time we could get her to move from her spot.

Other then my sister the weekend was great. Well my kids were total pains! Did things that we had told them long time ago not to do!! Like playing hide and go seek in Richard's restaurant equipment. There are black widows in there by now and besides it is dangerous, not to mention they could damage the counter tops. Total pains!! Richard had a talk with them after Sharon left last night, but I am not sure it got through to them, we will have to wait and see.  Plus they totally ignored Riley and acted like she was some sort of party pooper, would not help with anything and threw fits when you asked them. Kaitlyn did her typical show off to everyone and carried Riley every where even after we told her multiple times to put her down. She dropped her on her head on the cement and was told not to pick her up again until Tuesday. Richard was mad.  Riley already had a scrape on her head from falling down at the forest. Poor baby kept getting her head bumped.

How was everyone else's memorial day weekend?

Waste of Film

Why is there so many movies about Vampires and Zombies? Why do they keep changing the rules in the movies?!? Just when I think I have it all down, they throw a curve ball or totally go off in another direction that makes the movie HORRIBLE!!

Rise of The Zombies was one of the HORRIBLE ones! They had zombies climbing up the side of the Golden Gate Bridge like they were Spiderman! Then their guns are all aimed for neck and lower and they hit every zombie right between the eyes. Don't know about you but I would love a gun that does that. Point it anywhere and it will hit the zombie right between the eyes! Lame! Then they are fighting a horde of zombies and the zombies are less then 2 feet from them and NOT attacking. At one point you can see the zombies waiting to attack until the helicopter door is shut!  What the heck!?!

I watched a survivors style movie about a haunted location. You know the type, they went in, never seen again but they found this unedited footage. They always die whenever they are alone until they are down to the final two or three. No one ever escapes. They always end the same. They get lamer and lamer every time, but I love to watch them for the special effects because that gets better and better every time!

Some movies look like they are filmed on a home camera they are that bad. The camera is shaky and the script is FRIGHTENINGLY HORRIFIC!! Wonder why they even spend the money. The acting is gross and a waste of a Screen Actors Union Card. They need to find another profession. Maybe waitressing or auto repair!!

What was the worst movie you have ever seen?

Happier

Well I am getting happier every day or at least finding something to be happy about.  It has just been so hard lately. With Rebecca leaving it was as if there was nothing there to be happy about. But lately I have been finding reasons to be happy. Some are silly, but it gets me through.

I still feel like people at church do not like me and just tolerate me, but I get through it.  I am sure it is just part of my recent sadness.  At least I really hope I am wrong.  I just feel alone and it does not help that my sister tends to act like a bump on a log or hangs out with her friends and ignores me, but I should be use to that. She did that to me our entire school life.  It is just saddening because I have been in the ward longer, but now I feel like the newbie.  But I will still go to church, say hi to people and just keep smiling.

I am trying to gain more patience every day for my kids and their bad behavior. Trust me, it is very hard.  They push the boundaries and my buttons constantly. Ignoring them works to keep me from yelling but not to get them to stop. So we are letting them deal with the consequences. Like for instance, Kaitlyn and Amberlin share a room and both refuse to throw their dirty clothes down the laundry shoot for the past 2 weeks.  So their consequence is they go to school in dirty clothes every day.  If we can not get them to want clean clothes maybe their friends and teachers telling them will get them to throw their clothes down.  Christopher wants his toys back, but he has to keep his room clean for a week, but so far two days is the max.  His consequence is no toys in his room. One day they will learn, but I am not sure as to when.

We have Richard's sisters coming for the weekend.  One is coming from Missouri and the other from Arizona.  I love his one sister and tolerate the other. The one from Arizona wants to cleanse my aura and it frightens me that she believes in all that and went to school to learn how to be a holistic healer, Miss Hypochondriac!! His sister from Missouri is AWESOME!! LOVE HER!! She is so cool and funny and totally gets me!! We are going to have a fun weekend!! They get to meet Riley for the first time! I am just worried that they will either see Bump On A Log Rachel or Talk Your Ear Off Cause I know Everything Rachel. I am hoping for the sleep all weekend Rachel!! Sad but true!

Plus I am happy that my company is reclassifying my job and making me an Engineer Administrator!! Two Wage Scale RAISE in June sometime!! YEAH ME!! More Money More Money! Plus I can transfer to any EA position in the country with that title!! YEAH!!! I can't wait for the first check, things will not be as tight anymore! It is hard rasing a family of seven plus my sister on one income. Now it will be a little bit easier! Plus it will help to get our credit straightened out so we can buy a house!!

We are looking at HUGE houses out of state to buy.  Mostly in areas that I can transfer to with AT&T.  Like Texas, Missouri, Michigan, Minnesota, etc. The houses are huge and the prices are low.  I can get a 3500 sq ft house in Missouri with a basement and a huge yard for $225,000.  Plus it has a pond and a forest in the back of the house between the other houses in the track!! With all my kids that would be amazing and think of all the bugs they could play with and I would never have to see!!!!

So how do you stay happy?

How come..

How come..

I have never watched the Mission Impossible movies? Probably because I can not stand Tom Cruise trying to be all cunning, coy and sexy! He makes me gag!

How come I have not taken my kids to California's Great America in Santa Clara my home town? Because I just realized it is almost $40 a person with a discount! I remeber buying a summer season pass for $40!!  I loved it there, but now it is too expensive and plus my kids are roller coaster chickens.

How come I have not started nesting for Sariah? Because I am so tired with a almost 14 month old and four other kids that won't help with anything around the house unless it is making a mess and or complaining that they need to help.

I have more "How Comes" that as I think of them, I will post them. Do you have any?

Strange Happenings

Strange things are happening around here!

Christopher's bike was stolen last night, but they dumped it about four houses around the corner!! Crazy!! I am so glad to have it back!! Now we just need to replace the motion light or I need to take it apart and see why the lights will not go on!!

Then this morning at work, the offered something called Voluntary Separation Benefits to everyone today.  Basically they are offering $25,000 plus some many weeks per years you have with the company. That is ALOT of money, but I am just not ready to take it and run. I hope my co worker does!! He would end up with around $70,000 plus he could officially retire six months later and collect on his pension!!

Another happenings at work. Last month one of our systems that we use to store jobs in crashed and about 25,000 jobs were lost and completely unretrievable. So this one guy at work wants to know why we do not keep a copy of everything we load into the system. So I am suppose to keep 25000 plus jobs on my computer so that he can have backup whenever he needs it? I suggest you keep them yourself. As we call it at work Another Dan Issue. He complains about everything and makes me so mad. Like it is my job to make sure he has everything he needs to make him happy.

SO how has your day gone so far?

Names

When we found out we were pregnant again, we knew we had a boy's name, but only a middle name for a girl.  We decided that we would work on it more once we knew what we were having. On Monday the 6th, we found out that we are having another girl. YEAH!! But also Oh No! No name at all! Only a middle name. 

I started looking up names online along with the meanings. We had a list of about 15 names. Richard actually came up with the name that we chose.

We had:
Angelina
Crystal
Kendall
Carissa
Cadence
Bethany
Emily
Sarah
Katherine
Emerson
Addison
Madison
Reagan
Skylar
Reese
Camryn
Karina
Jessica
Mackenzie
Feather (total joke)
Amanda
Charlotte
Lauren

Now remember the middle name is Dove, so some of those prior names were very funny sounding. But we have a name for her and I love it! Goes great with Riley! Her name is............

Sariah Dove Fisher!!

It's official!!

We are having another girl!!!! YEAH!  Now we just have to decide on a first name that sounds good with Dove as the first name. Nothing common and nothing too crazy. We want something that is normal but orignal, so there is only her in her class with that first name. You know?

And she has my nose again!! I hope Richard's blue eyes and hair color!! She weighs 8 ounces and is perfectly sized for 18 weeks!!  Plus she sucks her thumb and is very modest.  She was crossing her legs, grabbing her foot and trying to cover her behind with one of her hands!!

Triple Dunk

This weekend we had a triple dunk, or as some other people call it, a triple baptism! It was awesome! The entire Relief Society room was filled and there was standing room only!! Longest baptism I have ever been to also! Almost an hour!! After the closing prayer, I took the kids and pretty much raced home to finish everything for the dinner. Richard likes to do a dinner after to help the new members get some fellowship. Without fellowshipping, new members tends to become inactive very quickly!
We had pulled pork, spanish rice, refried beans, chips and salsa and a bunch of mini desserts! People started arriving before Richard and soon the entire living room and dining room was filled!! I was beyond freaking out! I called Richard and told him to get home NOW!! I needed help and the kids were too busy running around being idiots and not helping. They were talking everyone's ears off! When Richard showed up the pulled pork burritos flew out of the kitchen and disappeared as fast as they hit the platter!! It eventually slowed down enough that Richard could go talk to our guests. I was stuck in the house refilling everything. My legs and hips still hurt from all the walking. Did not get alot to eat, but I was more thirsty then anything! I think I drank Riley's weight in water!!
All in all it was a great baptism with a great dinner following!!

Sadness

Lately I have been feeling sad. Not sure if it is because of the hormones of the pregnancy or something else.

I wish things were different at home. I wish Rebecca had more of a voice and would have talked to us before she moved out. Maybe then we could have a relationship with her and not have to hear through the grapevine that she is saying horrible things about us, and bad mouthing us on her facebook.  I wish Christopher and Amberlin would stop making so many bad choices. They constantly are stealing and not doing all their work at school and then lying about it all. They get into stuff and do things that they know are wrong every day. Sometimes even the same thing they just saw the other one get in trouble for. I wish Kaitlyn would stop going out of her way to seem stupid and throwing attitudes EVERYWHERE!!! You ask her to do something and she tosses you an attitude and makes the whole feeling of the house go mean. She constantly says stupid things to get attention and we know she knows the difference. Utterly annoying. I wish my sister would learn that when I am watching a show or movie on television that I do not need or want a complete run down of her day or every interesting thing that happened on a show she watched or something about one of the actors in the show I am watching. I wish she would also stop telling everyone EVERYTHING like she is the expert on everything. She even told me when I do my math class when I get there, that she will do my homework for me. How am I suppose to learn then? Confused.


It's hard to go through a day without thinking or seeing all the sad things in our house. Also I am beginning to feel like I have no friends, that everyone at church is avoiding me. I know I am a horrible visiting teacher, but it is hard to be happy when you go to visit people and they are happy and you wish you could be happy. I hope that makes sense. It does in my head, but sometimes when I write it out I sound like a loon. It's hard to go through the day thinking that you have no friends. I want someone I can vent to, someone I can cry on their shoulder, someone to hang with. Sure I have Anne, but she has been to busy lately, I feel bad asking her to do anything because I do not want to take away from her seminary students. They need to learn what she has prepared all week to teach them. Everyone else, I feel does not like me or has no interest in hanging with me because they already have friends that they relate with better or have a long history with. Even Rachel found friends and she talks to them all the time!! Why is it I always find myself in someone's shadow? Richard's, Rachel's, etc?

Wondering

I posted on my Facebook a question and I got a lot of nice responses, but it still does not answer my question. Here is the reason for my question.

A friend of mine was getting married a few years ago and she asked me if I was available on a Saturday, if I could come help set up. She's my friend so I of course said yes. She had asked a few other girls who were friends to help also and they said yes. The plan was to meet at the reception and wedding location in the morning around 9am to help set up chairs and tables and decorations, etc. I was told the wedding was in the evening, so no big deal. Well about 6 weeks before the wedding, the invitations went out. The girls that were helping also, were playing the "Who got their invitation first" game. We all worked together, so when they got their invitation, they brought it to work. I had not gotten my yet, but they kept telling me don't worry you will.  A week before the wedding, I still had not gotten an invitation. Bridal shower came, they got invites and I did not. My friends even got calls to see if they were coming or not because the Maid of Honor could not remember who she mailed invites to. No call to me. Wedding came and went and I got nothing. Of course, I did not go do any set up because I thought it was rude to ask me to set up and then not invite me to the wedding or reception.  We still talk, but I never venture to ask why I was asked to help but not invited to the wedding. I guess I am too afraid of the answer.

Same thing happens now. Baby showers come and I find out about them weeks after, same with birthday parties. What have I done to make me people hate me or not want to invite me to stuff at all? I just wish I knew what I had done. Maybe moving out of the ward will help? Recently I feel as though no one would notice my absence at all.

Plus I am so dang tired of this same Sister CONSTANTLY asking about Rebecca!! I want to turn to her and say, why don't you ask so and so and see what he tells you? This Sunday though she asked if we had talked to her and if we knew where she was. I told her no we have not talked, we know where she is and do not car, she has told too many lies to even want anything to do with her. I want to go to the Bishop or RS President and ask them to tell her to stop asking about her. How can I get through a Sunday without her asking? I can't avoid her, that would be rude and I just can not tell her how I really feel because that would be wrong. I do want to beat the hell out of the young man or should I say child that lives with her for what he did to my family and how he helped Rebecca and lied and still lies about it. Richard was scared two Sundays ago when he walked way too close to me that I was gonna nail him. Trust me I was tempted, but I would not do that in church, even though I feel he deserves it. How can he repent for what he did and not admit it to us and apologize? Isnt the third step of repentence to Confess? Would that not be to the person you hurt?

ReAnna's Prom

I have Ruth Cox to thank for her make up, Goodwill for the dress and Fulton Mall for her accessories. I did her hair.

When it rains

yes it pours.  When you think that everything is going along smoothly and things are falling into place and BOOM someone throws in a wrench and throws everything out of whack!

For instance, every house that we find that is perfect. Has the right number of rooms, RV parking, right area and right price, perfect for us! I call my real estate lady, she calls them and it is in pending status as of the day before! This has happened like 4 times! Now we are looking at another house, everything we want plus a pool, just a little more then we want but in a new ward boundaries. Cross your fingers we get this one! Though I still need to see if we can qualify for $250,000.

When we start to move on with the whole Rebecca incident, something else happens. Like we found out through one of her friends that she is telling people the we neat her and called her names and made her the slave of the house! WTH!?!?!? Funny thing is, she never tells anyone we know that only people who do not know us. What is her game?

I can't wait to move and start over. Richard really wants to go to Texas and live, but I can not transfer there until after we have a contract and a job I qualify for opens up. Plus I would stay here until the baby is born or maybe just wait until ReAnna has graduated and then go from there. I still want to buy a house thought.

I am still waiting for my classes at Willow International to open up so I can have a full load this summer. Just one more class is all I need! Pray I get it!! Otherwise I can not afford the books or anything for the one class and I have to drop it. I need 6 credits to get my Pell Grant without that, I can't go to school.

I just keep looking at the universe and saying WHAT ELSE!?!?!?

BBQ

Saturday was the Fresno North Stake Women's Conference. And lucky me, I was asked to decorate a table! I was so nervous about it too. The last few years the tables have looked like professional decoraters have done the tables. I was not sure if I could measure up, but I wanted to try.  I think it looked pretty darn good, but I of course think it was totally amatuerish compared to the other tables!!

The classes were great. I learned alot. Lunch was great, as usual. Yummy!! I was so looking forward to it too. I was starving when lunch started and I almost ate like three other plates, but I stuck to one!

Sunday we had a BBQ and invited the Comstock's over for dinner! I ate 8 ribs! What the HECK!! I have not been able to eat more then one since two weeks after I found out I was pregnant! YUMMY!! The smell of the ribs cooking was intoxicating, especially on Fast Sunday!! I wanted to jump in the grill and start eating like a cave man!! I know I should not be fasting while pregnant, but it is hard to eat in front of the kids when everyone else is fasting, so I fast. I drink a glass of Milk and take my vitamins, but that is it!

How was your weekend?

Feelings

I have been really grouchy lately. At first I thought it was hormones because of the pregnancy, but I realized that I am angry. Angry at Rebecca, Maria, Eric, and Tiffany. Angry because Rebecca abandoned her family and left behind a trail of hurt and confusion. Angry at the Sanders because they stole my daughter and think they are her heroes. Angry because I can't tell Rebecca how hurt she has made me without playing her game and letting her think she has won. I know her goal with everything she has done is to hurt me. Changing her last name to Sanders, putting Maria down as her mother, calling her Mommy, Maria and Rebecca probouncing their mother daughter love for each other all over Facebook, etc. I can't tell Maria off because then I stoop to her level and become as petty as she is being telling Facebook that we are horrible people and she is wondergful and that her and Rebecca are going to get mother daughter tatoos.

I have so much anger towards these people and towards what Rebecca is doing. My hands are tied because no matter what I want to do, I still end up the bad guy and make them look like the knights in shining armor. It is very frustrating. Richard is holding out hope that she will be back before the baby is born, but I know she won't. Until Tiffany graduates next year and they still need a babysitter for James, she will stay there. Once she has to get a job and pay for her own stuff and bills, she will not be home.

It angers me that she threw all of us away for this new family. Her siblings did nothing to her and yet she won't talk to them or even try to keep in contact with them. Riley has no idea who she is anymore and this new baby will not know her until he or she is walking and over a year old. Rebecca is missing out on so much and she does not care. How can you leave your family so you can be an adult and still act like a child?

Richard was finally able to adopt her without all the crazy paperwork on December 21st of last year. We were all sealed together in 2006. Does that not mean anything to her anymore? She has not been to church since the Adult Session of Stake Conference in February. Does she still believe? Does she even care? Or is this new "family" and their "freedom" mean more to her now?

I am just not sure what to think or how to get my closure. Part of me wants to drag her home and beat the holy crap out of her and then beat the holy hell out of Maria and Tiffany, but then I would be having this baby in jail. I think she knows how much she has hurt us and she just does not care about anyone but herself. That was not how she was raised, that is what they are teaching her. She is no longer my daughter, she has become theirs. Through her want or their manipulation, I don't know. I pray for her to stop and for the hurt to stop, but every day something else reminds me.

Will the pain ever stop?

Update

Well this weekend was pretty busy on Saturday. It was my niece's prom and I had volunteered to do her hair. Ruth came over and did her makeup! It was great but very time consuming.
I wanted to have her hair in curlers before Ruth got there but Rachel spent like three hours looking for toeless nylons. She could have got them like the day before, but nope, she of course waited for the last minute. So they all got back to the house by 2:45, Rayna jumped in the shower and was still dressing when Ruth showed up. I sware Rachel and her children will be late to their own funerals one of these days!!
I put a bump it in her hair and then put a ton of curls into her hair. We took pictures in the front yard, where Rayna wanted to take some shots. Richard was suppose to do it, but he was at the priesthood session of conference. She looked pretty good. Rachel did her usuall my daughter is so perfect I do not understand why children are not as perfect as mine routine.

Sunday we watched conference and had our usual between session brunch. We had pancakes and sausage gravy with biscuits! Everything was pretty good and it all got eaten! I hate when there are leftovers!! After the last session we headed to Big Hat Days. We always go and look at everything. It was packed!!!! They really need to put turnstyles in front of the food trucks. It would make less of a traffic jam!

Monday was my anniversary dinner with my company. We went to Red Lobster and had a great time!  I love their four course meal for $16.99! I brought two of the courses home I was so full after the first two!!

Crazy Weekend

We had one crazy weekend. It was fun but it was CRAZY!!

Riley's birthday was on Thursday, so I took the second half of my work day as a vacation day. Her and Richard were outside waiting for me when I drove up! It was so cute. She walked to me with a HUGE smile on her face!! We played and then we made dinner. We had finger foods because that is what she eats. So we had tater tots, chicken nuggets, green beans and corn. I got pizza bites, but they were too spicy, so we did not give her any.

The only dissappointment was Rebecca not texting or calling to wish Riley a happy birthday. She only has her first birthday once and she missed it to be with her new family. Very hurt that she would do that to Riley, who has done nothing to her at all or ever!

I took Friday off to help get everything ready for her party on Saturday. I made some really cute party favors. I took old baby food jars and put a tiny hole in the lid and then Richard spray painted them purple. I put a flower through the hole, filled the jar with robin eggs and then tied a yellow or purple ribbon around the top. It was very cute and resourceful. We got purple daisys from Costco and a few other things too. Plus we ordered a cake. I know, Richard makes cakes why did we buy one? We had so much food to make we ran out of time, so we ordered a cute one.

The party was fun, I just wish there had been more people there and more kids for Riley to play with. She got alot of clothes, a blanket and two baby dolls. She said ooooohhh to everything and became an expert at opening gift bags!!

Easter dinner was good. We had ham and turkey, mashed taters. brocoli and homemade rolls. I made cute cupcakes for dessert. I made muffin size chocolate cupcakes wnd filled them with strawberry jam. Topped them with the new cool whip frosting and dyed green coconut. Then I added Robin Eggs, a gummy fried egg and a foil chocolate bunny. Kids loved them.

I took pictures of Riley's party, so I will post that later!

How was your weekend?

Baby Fisher's 1 photo

Here is an Ultrasound of our new baby. No idea if it is a boy or girl yet, but Baby Fisher is staring at us!! You can see the head and the torso. We got a great shot of a foot!! I will post that picture once I get it into the computer.
We are due October 3rd according to the ultrasound, but with a pre planned c section Baby Fisher will be delivered at the end of September! Three birthdays in September! I better win the lotto so I can afford all those birthdays!!
We go back May 6th for another Ultrasound, and she said they will be able to tell by then even if they have to move him or her around to see. I can not wait!! Just a little over five weeks left until we know if it is a Blake or Bethany/Emily. Yes we can not decide on a girl's name. My mother wants a Zoe, so great!

Happy Thursday!

Hard to believe

I am totally in denial that Riley will be one year next Thursday and we have another baby due in October!! It is hard to believe that one year has passed since she was born. My little 6 pound 2 ounce baby is now a crawling, walking, yelling, talking, eating, playing 30 inch, 22 pounds 2 ounce one year old! Where does the first year go? Do I get a do over so I can cherish EVERYTHING she did?

She has changed so much! She has her own personality and can play independentally. Plus she LOVES to play on the trampoline. We put some plastic colored balls on it and she loves to crawl around and have them follow her. She does something new everyday that amazes us. She figured out how to climb up and down the step to get inside and outside the sliding glass door. She love chocolate, cheese, vegetables, milk, juice, her baby, her balls, books, etc. She is just so happy especially when she wakes up from a nap or in the morning. She loves to see pictures and kiss them and give Mommy and Daddy loves (hugs). She has figured out which cell phones work and which ones don't, which remotes have batteries and loves to grab them and try to escape with them. She climbs the stairs to the second floor like a pro, loves to be chased and loves her car!!
I just love her so much and can't wait for what the next year holds in store for her and us.

Been awhile

It's been awhile since I have updated my Blog. I have just been so tired and sick that I just could not think of anything to write.
I hate being sick, I hate throwing up, I hate what throwing up does to my face! I looked like I was sunburned! It seemed like all the little blood vessels in my face burst all at the same time! I was scary looking there for a few days. Not like I am not normally scary looking! HAHAHAHAHA!!
Rebecca is still not home and now is not talking to us at all. We caught her in a huge lie and her world of deception came crashing down around her and she has not talked to us since. We have asked her for the cell phone back and so far no response. I am going to text her again and tell her to return the phone by tonight. This is ridiculous.

Riley is starting to take more then one little step at a time. She has taken about 7 steps in a row and she seems pretty sturdy on her feet until she gets going and she tries to run! It is very cute to watch. Once she gets close enough to where she wants to be and then she leaps at them. It is so funny!! She loves to wait for Daddy to come home from school every night. We sit on the front lawn and she watches all the cars until she sees his and then she starts flapping her little arms and yelling! Hard to believe she will be 1 year old on the 28th of this month! Did everyone get an invitation to her party on the 30th of this month?

We have family coming sometime the end of May, one I am excited about, the other I worry. Don't get me wrong, I love them both, just one makes me nervous whenever she is around. Not sure why. Maybe one day I will figure it out. It is going to be like a small family reunion. There will be food and laughter. Though my sister will be there, I am worried if she will be overly talkative or a bump on the log, not talking to anyone. She has her moods and I never know which one it will be.

I am trying to register for some classes this summer and so far all I get is that I need and appointment to register, but I can't get an appointment! Crazy!!

Well here is some good news! We are pregnant again! 10 weeks! I go to Dr. Woods on the 26th for the genetic blood work and ultrasound! I can not wait!! Hopefully Dr. Woods will be able to tell me what I am having at that point, otherwise I have to wait until May. Dr Helm made me wait too, but I am hoping I do not have to. Richard last night saw my stomach for the first time in a long time, while I was in the shower and he said I look like I am 5 monthes pregnant! What is that suppose to mean? Am I fat or is he saying the baby is big? I had a dream after Riley was born about a set of fraternal twins, blonde hair blue eyes, playing with her and she called them her brother and sister. Not sure what to think of that dream. Should I be worried?

We are struggling to get the kids to listen, stop lying and just behave and do what is expected of them. They have missing assignments at school, they are taking things that are not theirs, they won't do their chores, etc. They are just pushing their limits everyday right now. My favorite is they won'r throw their clothes down the laundry shoot and then complain they have no clean clothes. Can't wash what is not in the laundry basket. I refuse to gather it up for them, they are old enough to do it themselves. Drives me nuts! We bought a new washer and dryer and now they are barely being used. We are selling our old ones. They are Whirlpool Cabrio set, only two years old, asking $600 paid almost $1500. works great. If you know anyone that is interested, tell them to get ahold of us!

What have you been up to?!?!?

Valentine's Day

You would think that today would be a happy day for us, but unfortunately it is not. Rebecca has been gone for 12 days now. She ran away in the middle of the night on February 2nd to go live with her best friend and her family. She just contacted us via text message this past Tuesday to tell us that she will not be talking with us again until April. She quit school, she has no job and she has not gone to church either.
What are we suppose to do, I know where she is but she won't talk to us to tell us anything! When we talked to our therapist she said what we said, the parents of her best friend crossed a line. If someone's child came to you and said they wanted to move out and in with you, wouldn't you have at least called that child's parents and let them know what is going on before hand? We got a text on Monday night letting us know where she is and that she would contact us when she is ready. Another thing our therapist said was they are doing all this for some selfish reason, not sure what either. That has been what Richard has been saying, what are they getting out of this?
They have bought her a phone and clothes, name brands we can not afford with 6 children. IS that it? Is it because we can't afford to buy her fancy name clothes or shoes? I am sorry that there are other priorities in the family then making sure you have brand name clothes. But is that it? Who knows? We won't see her for two monthes.
It just pisses me off that she would hurt her father this badly. He is heartbroken and the only thing she cares about is herself. She says she loves us, but I feel that is completely untrue. If she did, she would have talked to us, would have not changed her best friends parents to her parents, changed her last name to theirs, tell us she won't see us for two months, she wouldn't miss my birthday or Riley's first. I don't see that as love, I see that as complete selfishness.
She has a lot of growing up to do, but at what cost? She is driving a HUGE wedge between us and her. If she waits until April to talk to us, it will be entirely too late. Another selfish decision. If you love your family like you said, then you would contact us sooner then April!
She may be 18, but she is acting like a child! I am just so mad at her. I just want to go over there drag her out by her hair and beat the crap out of her. Wouldn't help the situation, but it would make me feel better, I think. She is not protecting or being loyal to us, only to herself and her new family. She has a new facebook with the name Rebecca Sanders and said she changed her name to hide. I know that is a lie, because she knows she can not hide from me. She changed the name as a slam to Richard and I. She called Maria mom to hurt my feelings. She use to do it whenever Maria and Eric were at our house in front of me, even after I asked her not to.
Sorry I needed to vent. I would ask you to tell her to call if you see her, but I think telling her you are dissappointed in the way she is treating her real family, would probably make more of an impact on her right now. I just want to know who a certain number is that has been calling her for the past two monthes and her calling it from 11 pm to 2 am and talking for hours! She supposedly had a secret boyfriend and now she is saying she does not have one. Just another lie on top of another lie.

4th Date night!

We started out at Bobby Salazar's on Peach and Shaw eating nachos. I was far from impressed. Not enough cheese for my liking and their ground beef was a little sweet tasting!  The mild salsa wat spicy!  We ate it but did not like it.
Then we went to the Gardening Fireside at the church and listen to Brother Duran tell us everything he knows about gardening. We learned alot. We are planning our garden and we are definitely getting chickens! I can not wait for the fresh veggies and the fresh eggs!  Mmmm!!
We have had chickens before and fresh eggs are delicous! I loved making scarmbled eggs and omelettes out of them! They tasted different. Can't really explain it, but there was a distinct different taste.
Then we headed over to Casa Corona for a get together of former AT&T DA operators. It was great. We got another nachos and these were AWESOME!!  Melted cheese was perfect, shredded beef, tasty and the beans were perfect! I so would order those again there!  We laughed and joked until ten! It was great!
Maybe this week we will go to another $5 movie! Then maybe freeze our insides with Cold Stone Creamery!! We need to double date with someone one of these times! It should be fun!

Weekend Cleaning

This weekend was somewhat eventful. Richard's SUV was in the shop and we had a little Nissan Rogue as a rental. Cute little car, but it sounds like a toy car winding up when you are gunning the car. Not much power in the little thing. Also so not deisgned for any full sized car seat.
Richard's car was overheating really fast, so he took it into the shop Friday morning and they discovered that the radiator was cracked! Darn it! How much was this going to cost us? Nothing!! It was covered by the extended warranty we purchased! The waranty also covered the rental! YEAH!!
We picked the SUV up on Saturday with a brand new radiator that smells funny still when it gets warm! Eww!! But it no longer is overheating at all!! YEAH!!! Turned in the rental and headed home!
We spent most of Saturday, rearranging our bedroom and cleaning it! Man there was ALOT of garbage and junk thrown in there. Same with the red room. If no one knows where to put it, they throw it in my room or in the red room. I hate that!!
We were going to go clean up the garden, but the rain the day before made it a little impossible. SO we will be working on it this weekend and during the week. We went to a fireside about gardening and we learned alot. We learned that we need to rotate where we plant things in our garden. That totally explains why nothing has been growing!!  We are hoping for a great garden this year! I plan on making alot of our dinners out of that garden!
What a boring weekend, huh? At least our bedroom is rearranged and incredibly uncluttered and cleaned! Now I have more spaces to decorate!!  YEAH!!

I totally forgot this

I forgot to post my New Years Resolutions the beginning of this month! My mind must have been consumed with the kids and their bad choices that week! Trust me there were ALOT!!

Rhonda's 2013 New Year's Resolutions
Not in order of importantce.

1. Re read the book of mormon
2. read D&C
3. Exercise on a regular basis
4. Lose weight, but set smaller goals each time! That way I have a smaller number to reach and then I start all over with the next amount of weight. My first goal is 20 pounds, when that is gone, I move on to the next one!
5. Be in a position to be able to buy a house, pretty much, straighten out our credit, make sure bills are paid on time, etc.
6. get out food storage organized
7. save money
8. go back to school and get a degree in business/hospitality management and financial and managerial accounting. Can you say "Expensive Books"?

What are yours?

Yoga

I am really liking this Yoga twice a week and Zumba three times a week. Next month we are doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred!  I can not wait!  I hear she really kicks your butt! I just can not wait!  I have looked up some before and after shots of people who have tried her DVD for 30 days and the results are VERY noticeable!! Once I finish with that, then we are doing 6 week abs by her again. Awesome! 

I bought a new dress for church and I can not wait to be able to wear it! YEAH!! I am actually looking forward to working out every night! Rebecca seems to be less then enthusiastic about every night. She keeps trying to get out of it. Then she barely even does the steps, she plays more then anything else.  I wish she would get serious about it.

I am doing great on my diet too. I try to eat three meals a day, making breakfast and dinner the most important and lunch is more of a snack type lunch. I each at least two greek yogurts every day, a piece of fruit, water and milk at work, then try to have a very balanced dinner every night.  We are eating less starches, pastas, etc. More veggies and lean protien! The kids do not seem very happy with that, but I can barely finish my dinner every night. We are not buying soda too much. We will be drinking more milk and water at dinner from now on.  Plus more fish and we are including even some vegetarian meals during the week.  Christopher and Ambelin won't be too happy about that. They hate fish and some vegetables we have to fight them to eat.

We are planning our meals out for the entire week and every day Richard helps prep stuff for dinner before he heads to school.  Tonight is Salad and Soup night!  I am making my baked potato soup, mmmmm!  Friday we are going out to dinner and then to a gardening fireside at church then on to ice cream!  Then Saturday I get to make chinese food, of course vegetarian with lots of veggies in it!  Now to plan next weeks meals! Any suggestions on healthy meals?

Next week I am starting a Weight Loss Challenge with a bunch of my friends! It is going to be awesome! I will post a before picture on here at the start of the challenga and then at the end and keep you guys updated on my prgress.  If anyone wants to join the challenge, let me know! When I start the 30 day shredd Iwill post a before and after photo also! I can't wait! I have actually never said that before with any type of exercise. Am I losing my mind or becoming more fitness conscious? You decide!!

Weekend Chores

The garage is CLEAN!! YEAH!! THe 49ers are going to the SUPERBOWL!! YEAH TEAM!! Man do I feel like a cheerleader!
Well we emptied out our cluttered garage and put things away, threw garbage away (there was alot), put the Christmas decorations back into the crawl space above the garage, put the baby items Riley won't use anymore up there also, wrapped up of course. Reorganized everything, put things back in their places on the shelves, camper stuff went back into the camper. Pretty much it was a long job but we got it done!  We put the tarps up in the back yard so our patio cover is done! YEAH! 
We moved Riley into her big girl carseats. She is getting too heavy for the one you carry around. I got myself a twenty pound baby now! She army crawl everywhere and regular crawls places more now. Plus she is pulling herself up onto stuff and cruising around holding on!! It looks like it is almost time to be done nursing. :( Sad about that! She bit me three times the other day and it HURT!! So when she gets her top teeth, I am done. We are transitioning her to drinking breast milk out of her straw cup. Not sure how bed time is going to work. May have to give her something to drink and then let her cry it out. That is really going to hurt my heart! I hate to hear her cry!! She gets these HUGE crocodile tears and they pour down her face!
Riley played outside in her bouncer. If you say Boingy Boingy, she will jump up and down in it! It is so cute! I just can not love her enough!
Next Saturday is preparing the garden for when we can plant on February 15th!!  We are so doing potatoes again! I can not wait! We have to get rid of all the weeds, fix the fence, mix in new dirt and manure. Plant our little seedlings in their little greenhouse. It is going to be an all day job! I can't wait for all the vegetables we will be growing! Zucchini, tomatoes, bell peppers, jalapenos, corn, Watermelons, potatoes, beans, eggplants, cucumbers, etc! Yummy!! This year we will be more dilligent with the weeds and the bugs. I love to can stuff, so I plan on doing alot of that also. Just need to get a pressure canner. One of my planned purchases for our tax refund!! Yeah team Rhonda.
I am working on getting my Frogwood Designs Blog and Facebook page done. I really need to work on that!
Rebecca and I did Biggest Losers Yoga last night! OWIE!! Man do you use muscles and strength for that. I was sweating and shaking! Man do I feel it this morning too! We do Zumba, Yoga, walking and soon Jillian Michaels 30 Day Burn!  I plan on reaching my first goal by the end of February!! I have a new church dress for when I reach my April goal!! I can not wait!  I am pretty impressed that I am doing the moves and not faking it!  I have not lost anymore weight, but I have lost inches! Whoohoo!!

Richard and my first trip to Pismo

Richard, Rebecca, ReAnna and I took a trip to Pismo for the very first time. We went to Splash Cafe, the Pier, Oceano Beach. It was great! Then we wandered over toward San Luis Obispo and drove through the college. That was very interesting!
Morro Bay was our next stop. We walked around and checked out the shell stores. We ended up in this store that had shirts that said "I live in Fresno" with a picture of a little tiny trailer with a clothesline and an old fashioned antenna. People were laughing at the shirt because I guess they saw people from Fresno as idiots and backwoods idiots! 
Well the joke was on them because I paid for something in cash and they gave me a 50 cent piece as a quarter. And we are idiots! Looks like they were hiring people that did not know their coins. I of course kept it as a first date memento.
A few Christmases ago Richard gave me a little Micasa ring holder for my wedding ring. Ever since I got that, I have kept my wedding ring and that 50 cent piece in it. Sometime on Wednesday, Amberlin went into my room and took it. She went to school and put it into the water machine to try and get a water. She did not get the water or the coin back.
That night after she had stolen the fifty cent piece, she tattle on Christopher, while he was at Merit Badge Clinic about taking quarters from peoples rooms and dressers. So when I asked him about it last night he spilled about the 50 cent piece. Which he knew about it the day before!! So he got into trouble almost as much as she did, because he knew and did not tell. 
I just don't know when I will be ready to forgive her or even look at her or him. I just want to cry. Why do my kids have to be thieves? Do they have no integrity or honor!?!? We try so hard to teach them that, but they go to school, get around their friends and it goes right out the window.
So now when I tell Riley about the trip, I will not be able to show her the coin. I am just so upset.

Ignorant Facebook Posts

A friend of mine of Facebook, poted on Facebook yesterday how a lady with a Coach purse was making her wait extra long in line at the grocery store because she as using WIC. What the heck?!?! The following comments completely insulted me and when my husband posted a very intelligent reply, he was attacked. He was told that we should have never had our sixth child and one even said she was tired of paying for hers and ours.
Why is WIC seen as a "Goverment Handout"? I am on WIC and the post made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. They all assumed that I am some money hungry scum bag who is stealing from the government. I have a job, I pay my taxes and I need a little help, so I swallowed my pride and asked for it.
WIC is a nutrition program that allows me to feed Riley nutrious food that I may not otherwise be able to afford. Baby food is EXPENSIVE!! I get help when I have questions about breast feeding and complete support to keep nursing Riley.  What is wrong with that?  Even if I was on Food Stamps, which is what they compared it to, I would not misuse it at all. Sure some people do, but most have a legit reason for needing the help.
Also what kind of member of the church would tell me that I never should have had Riley?!?! They don't know about all the years of trying and getting nothing or the miscarriages or the doctor telling us that Richard would never father a child and even with IVF it would be a 10,000 to 1 chance. Maybe they should say what they posted on Facebook to their Ward and see what the Bishop and members have to say about that.
Plus the one who said she was tired of paying for my children and hers. Her kids are all little and need to realize, I have been working for over 20 years, so my tax dollars paid for the hospital her children were born in, the school they attend, the teachers that teach them, the soldiers that fight for their freedom and do I complain, no. My tax dollars help people and that is all that is important. Do they look down on people in their ward that is on assistance from the church? Do they not pay their fast offerings and tithing? Maybe they should think before they complain because their fast offerings help others in the ward that they know and their tithing goes to help pay for the building that they and others use.
Some people only open their mouths to switch feet.