Monday, November 27, 2006
Jus wanna do a quick post.. since its nearly 10 days since i blog.. wanted to blog but always lazy.. hehe.. i didnt realise my sickness been weeks liaoz.. althought hipcups are gone.. i am down with fever.. for 3 days.. keep going up n down.. n bad muscleache.. was lucky tat i got off on mon to wed.. due to medical checkup n my normal off.. tue went to watch "step up" nice show.. tat guy is cool lohz.. dance so well.. i don know whether i should watch movie recently anot.. each time i watch lots of think in my mind.. i will think tis think tat.. thinking its not fair.. y gd ending always on movies? storyline always the person who did so many things wrong got chance to repent.. ah wateva..
back to camp on thur fri.. damn heng lohz me.. cause partner took halfday on thursday.. i find him a curse.. he himself also think so.. cause as long got him.. i can only go home at 730 to 8++.. been 8++ lately.. so dulan.. but tis time.. i went home at 530! one of the officer fetch me till paya lebar somemore.. so heng.. hehe.. but den reach home 7pm.. cause waited for bus so long.. n its slow.. haiz.. fri even earlier! 430pm i left le! cause officer go for event.. hehe.. lucky me.. sat.. went to watch movie with eyvonne n khalid.. casino royale.. fucked up show! the show is so bored.. i even went to the toilet twice.. so little action.. the new aston martin got no special features.. seems like a budget movie.. after tat i drove back home.. ah! wish shattered! wanted to first drive someone de! end up out of my heart itchy of wanting to drive.. i ended up giving my first time to my sis n bro in law.. sad..
sun.. today.. did nothing the whole day.. either lie on bed.. or slp.. cause i simply don feel well.. too tired.. was thinking i gonna get dengue again with all the symptoms.. 3rd time if i get it.. tats not even worst.. i got compared to someone else.. even when i jus thought of it while he did the action.. its not i really don wanna take action.. but sometimes circumtances i cant take the action ppl jus don understand? sigh.. so if got thought of it den neva do its a wrong thing? can someone help me with tis? ah.. wateva.. jus kill me.
[[~firecomet~]]|Sad @ 11/27/2006 12:12:00 AM|
Saturday, November 18, 2006
i jus feel like blogging.. well.. its rare for me to feel like blogging immediately i reach home but i did..
fri been ok.. its nice.. but busy.. i didnt had the time to rest n my hipcups was hell of a trouble.. lucky today no more.. some say lung got water.. some say indijestion.. wateva.. its jus health. been fun.. having to ask those officer to be to do work.. haha.. but also working together with them.. fun.. some of them don look like ppl who have leadership quality.. some definately do.. proud for some of them.. sad tat army blindly choose ppl.. lolz.. nvm.. work till damn late. felt bad cause i was replying sms slow. sorry peeps!
today.. tired.. not really a bad day cause my hipcups are gone even thought i still feel sick.. lucky got jace to meet me for movie n dinner.. if not my mood would have worsen my condition.. was feeling damn moody due to some unnecessary stuff.. Watched "The guardian" finally able to watch it.. i like the show.. tat is why it inspires me to write..
Story about tis lifeguard so engross into his job.. den lost his wife.. tat wat really makes me think is.. why when ppl really wanted to change n repent but will neva get it once they did wrong? or even when the person is given a chance its too late.. either he/she is dead or something drasticly happened in each other life changes everything.. y? is tat how life goes? it seems so cruel.. or its jus me thinking tat the world for love is perfect? lolz.. i don know.. seriously.. i jus find it unfair.. maybe because i didnt get a chance.. or i myself missed i don know.. hm.. who knows.. wateva.. all i wan is a chance to repent.. a chance to regain my friendship.. my feelings.. is tat so hard?
PS: tis is to add on for my driving one. cause i find it too cute.. jus have to add it.. n ya.. while driving out my test route.. tis malay couple's car was beside me.. the lady keep looking at my car.. i was annoyed at first.. after tat she looked at me with her hands indicating OK.. like all the best for me lahz.. it brings me a smile.. well.. thanks to tat lady cause my tester was like keep SIGHING.. Thanks!
[[~firecomet~]]|Sad @ 11/18/2006 11:08:00 PM|
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Back.. didnt had the mood n strength to blog actually.. down with flu.. n ya.. i passed my driving from the 1st attempt.. nearly had an immediate failure though.. cause wrong lane when in the driving centre.. but he jus minus marks.. but still far from fail.. its a gd thing.. cause all my marks deducted cause of slow driving.. lolz.. i was driving too slow.. cause i scare i overshot which i always did while training.. well.. jus wanna thank to those who wished me gd luck n have blessings in me.. n sorry to those who wanted me to fail!! bleahz!!
n ya.. my sister n others asked me.. arent i happy tat i pass? tat i should feel proud tat i passed on my first attempt? i don know.. i jus don feel anything proud of it.. its jus a skill.. plus i also no car to drive.. even got.. my wish also wont fulfil.. so why should i be happy about it? i don know.. sigh.. wateva..
hm.. back to camp.. was quiet.. not as busy as often but i am down with flu.. feeling very uncomfy n unwell.. jus have to bear with it especially the other guy going off for thurs n fri.. fri got happy hour.. n i have to cover it myself.. today thursday.. quiet day.. managed to left early with major ng's permission.. so went to century square with jacelyn to get my sunglass.. bought 1.. don really like it though.. but they say it fits me nicer den the one i like.. levis de.. when got chance to drive den wear! i jus feel like rewarding myself.. hehe.. but i hate my hair! now so short.. look like nerd.. cant stand it.. haiz..
well.. nothing else with my life recently den.. hope the friendship between me n angel will settle off soon.. really sorry angel! hugs!
[[~firecomet~]]|Sad @ 11/16/2006 10:49:00 PM|
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
First thing first..
Happy bday to Cherie - Nov 4
Happy bday to Jiawen - Nov 10
Happy bday to Van - Nov 11
lolz.. i know its abit late to wish.. my bad.. its either i been too busy or i cant remember... my mind is full of stuffs.. stuffs tat i don know whether its necessary to think or not but its hell of a torture.. nvm..
days in camp been ok i guess.. got happy hour.. seems relaxing.. food is gd.. from a famous brazillian restaurant from 6 avenue.. i guess some of u have heard it.. even got wine tasting! but i didnt drink lahz. jus help out while the others are playing.. i felt the unfairness.. but i got assigned.. so LL do lohz.. end up result also not bad.. the person in charge gave me 2 small bottle of wine.. haha.. anyone wanna share it with me? hehe...
sat sun.. went to xmas fair to help out.. which i guessed it was a very bad choice.. i went there with happiness.. saw friends i have not been meeting or seen for a long time.. feeling was great.. but as usual.. i do nothing much.. cause everythings kinda stable.. so sit there like an idiot cause i no longer close with the ppl i partnering with.. no sharing from them.. seriously i doubt i wanna continue.. n some other pressure from friends.. i don wanna talk abt it.. but really cause my mood to down till the max.. the numb feeling is back.. who knows? no one right? meaning my acting not bad huh? lolz.. act my mood ok.. blahz.. it sucks too! wateva.. its over i am glad, somehow i am still feeling sucky! sigh.. sunday help till 1am++ somemore.. haiz.. n worst.. i scolded the F word when one of my senior's son is there.. i felt so guilty lohz.. she even send me home lehz.. but the impression of me different le lahz.. arghz.. i must really control myself back.. cause i don like the me now..
My driving Tp gonna happen in a few hrs.. yet i don feel like passing.. or don have the confidence.. how? result later..
[[~firecomet~]]|Sad @ 11/14/2006 10:59:00 AM|
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I am back.. its been a long time since i ever did a post.. or maybe i don know wat to post..life been gd for me.. been happy.. it seems like everything is going back to normal thanks to someone.. a person who actually indirectly gave me the courage to think tat the world is actually not ending. I thank u for tat. u know who u are..
BUT! my happy life for tis week its jus a dream.. it became a past tense after something happened yesterday.. i shall not elaborate here cause i find it unnecessary. Its the same person tat who gave me the happines cause me tis way.. but i wouldnt hate u.. cause i don know how to hate u..
it seems like all my post is sadness.. none of them are happy.. n i arent proud of it.. or i find it sickening or i am jus damn suay. each time i wanna post something happy.. there sure something tat come spoil my day. why?! i really felt sick of it man.. seriously.. does it pays to really trying to be a gd person or lets jus be a bad guy who do not need to work so hard? This logic been bugging me ever since one of my major keep teling me tis.. from my smile to him my face turn serious n he realised, then apologise to me. den he stupidly ask me did i listen to it anot, n i said yes but he don believe.. so many times he said tat, i believe yet he doesnt believe tat i keep it in my heart.. wtf.. jus one day i will jus flare at him even he is a major..
he is not to blame actually.. he find me a nice guy.. or a person trying to be nice guy but doesnt know how.. the logic he gave me i know.. but somehow i jus don wanna apply on it cause to me the world is getting worst to worst.. i selfishly think tat why should i go tryin to be a gd person while all the bad shits/selfish ppl surrounding me are having a better life.. tats is why i am backing off n stuck at wat i am n i find it ok. at least i find it able to cope. i don awnna fall into high hopes n been shot down by stupid problems while i am flying high, i wont be able to take the damage, i will die. but the fact, who will actually go think wat they really wan from now, none other den materialistic stuff, studies, future of wat they wanna work after they study for some paper certs, is tatwat they really wan? or ppl know are jus like be contented in wat they have.. Seriously, miraculously, i had none! i pause thinking wat i really wan, or have something tat i will be contented while writing tat comment of mine.. i had none!!!!! how come?! lolx.. horrible right?
n ya.. guess i gonna end it soon b4 some peeps complain tat my blog is long winded, boring, n so on.. i not even sure got ppl read anot... meter keep jumping but no one tags.. except peeps like shan n angel.. don read lahz the others! or if u paisei den don put name lahz.. put nick or something. but pls give clue so i can guess.. =D
i will end tis post with some msg to some peeps.. somehow its an open post for me. so pls don get offended. if i did anything wrong, i deeply apologies, or u can jus sue me if u wan. i don have much cash to compensate u anyway.
To Angel:
I delete tis section as i already told u in msn.. so to know whether wat is right or wrong.. where to correct.. u jus have to think properly k? Linked updated to ur blogspot. hugs!
To QI:
Boo! ha.. its really hard to write a msg for u cause i am not even sure whether u are reading or even know how to start. its been months since we are separated, lost contacts. I wondered how are u but i heard tat u are doing fine. I am happy for tat. actually tis post i jus wanna say i am sorry. got once i thought tat u wanting to break off all contacts with me by not answering my call/sms or even block me in msn.. but 2days ago surprisingly i saw u online in my contact list. after months.. i didnt msg ya as i don have the courage n doesnt know how to start a conversation to u. however i also not sure even if i msg u u will reply me anot.. it doesnt matter.. at least i still sees ya in my list. Hope we still can be friends n we will be able to chat in the future.. take care!
To GOD:
seriously can u tell me wat u wan me to do? u are taking away the things you gave me! 3 human beings i lost jus tis yr! those materialistic stuff i will not argue with u.. but why are u taking away ppl i love i cherish?! why?! wat i done wrong? cant u jus tell me so tat i will change? i tried repenting.. but wat are u giving me in return? i know the logic of giving more den taking or give more n don take. but u are taking away some stuff tat i already had! tat i cherish! its so not fair u understand?! wat do u really wan from me?! are u reading tis? can u show me some sign of wat u wan? i cant read ur mind u know? or u damn busy till forgotten me? wake up will ya? i don wish to loose faith in u but everytime i pray to u i ended up losing things/humans! pls don let me loose anymore things.. if not.. i will rather u take my life for exchange of happiness in the world.. thanks.
[[~firecomet~]]|Sad @ 11/09/2006 02:08:00 PM|
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Since i got nothing to blog.. jus wanna show a lonely, quiet n down road from my camp.. leads the way out.. use to walk tat everynite.. till my cpt send me home.. but now also start to walk le.. sigh! darkness! Picture taken in june! got proof k! its way b4 the stupid youtube guy who posted blank shots fired! i got LOA FOR IT during tat period!!! so mr policeman.. if u all see.. jus ask me for clarrification as i know its not allow to bring camera phone in anymore.
[[~firecomet~]]|Sad @ 11/02/2006 02:26:00 AM|
