Dear Bloggie...

Itz been 4 days since i've updated...
So i gez itz due time i update....
Okaiyz den...
Watz been happening to me lately....
Actually noting much ar...
Seriously, my life is filled with boredom manz...
Yeapz... sad... But i feel fine sumhow...=D

Now i wanna orbit around the question...
Question of what happens after i'm gone...
I dun mean to sound sadistic here...
Please, I've not lost my mind...
I just feel that, sumday I'll be gone....
And what will happen to those i care abt....
Will pple start appriciating me wen i'm gone...
Or would everything go one without me...
Cuz now, I really feel as good as dead...
A beating heart with an empty soul...
Yea, the word zombie sumtimes relates to me...
I'm there wen there's danger...
Yea, i must agree it seems kinda kewl...
Being in the needs of pple..
But the problem happens... When there's no problem...
Maybe if I'm gone after a few years....
And when people come looking for help...
I'm never there...
And its too late to come back....
Cuz i'd be gone.... burried.... peacefully? Onli God knows...
But people.. If you forget all abt me....
I wun be sad...
Cuz i noe, in one way or another....
I've helped every single one of u....
Even if u love me or hate me...
Please forgive me, itz who I am....
And as much as I wanna change myself...
I can't, cause I'm born this way....

Yes... I would want to believe my life is more of a curse den a gift....
I bring and create trouble to pple around me all d time...
And I dun even realise it....
Seriously... Am I doing more good den bad?
Or issit the other way round?
I dunno, seriously... Take a stab in d dark and u'll see I'm more bad den good...
If anyone is reading this, I wanna stress again...
I haven't lost my mind or gone crazy....
I dun look for sympathy....
If u wanna like me, the reason for liking me must be for hu i am...
Yea, even if I'm as thin as a pole...
I may not be heavy....
But my heart weighs heavier den gold...
For those who know me well, good for u....
For those who dun, I'd recommend u to noe me better before judging me...
Dun jump into the dark and expect a soft landing...

At times, ok, most of the time I'm this goody two shoes...
But there's a part of me no one ever noes abt...
Itz a part where u cross my line more den 3 times....
A part where u better take cover or suffer the consequences....
This is d part of me which scares the heck out of everyone....
Sheesh... I'm one crappy guy la hor...
Hahakz...
Ok back to the topic....
When an elephant dies, it leaves its bones....
When a tiger dies, it leaves its stripes....
When fiqz dies... There's nothing for me to leave....
But to leave this world in sadness....
Cuz no one seems to realise me...
Itz like, harlow? fiqz here....
And dey go like "har? where u?"...
I noe I'm THIN la for goodness sakes...
Itz in my genes....
I CAN"T GET FATTER...
Haiz.... Girls go for FIT guys....
And end up hurting themselves coz those GUYS have no HEART...
Especially girls who are PRETTY...
And get ANY guy they want...
And goes for LOOKS....
Seriously, this is bothering me to my bones...
Even my eyes can't stop twitching manz...
Girls out there.. Please la hor....
Go for the heart, NOT FOR THE FREAKIN LOOKS....
And u ask urself why the two of u can't go on long....
Sheesh... What is wrong with u pple....
Girls come to me and say "skinny ar u...."
I'm like "uhuh, besides stating d obvious..."
And dey go "manz, dat guy's cute and fit..."
I'm like... "so? does he have a heart?"
Dun dare tell me I'm wrong...
Cuz as a counsellor, I'm faced with these types of questions...
Itz not just once or twice...
But ALL THE TIME...
I'm not complaining abt my job...
But please, gals, tink before u choose...
If u barely noe d guy for onli less den a year....
U ask me whether its OK to stead with him....
And if u see me sighing and getting furious...
Better think 5 times over dat question...
As a guy hu's NOT handsome and NOT Masculine...
I'm mostly rejected for my looks, i could say all d time....
But i gez, itz ok ar... Dey lose out on the good heart....
I'm a guy for goodness sakes....
And for a guy hu says dat most guys cannot be trusted...
What does that show u?
Guys are most likely to cheat on sumone's feelings..

I noe... As much as I can say....
Not many actually process this in their heads..
It just goes thru their eyes, and goes straight past the brain and out the eye...
So why do I still bother typing all this crap down...
Well... I just hope that sumday....
Even when I'm dead...
People would blog hop to this blog....
And read my stuff...
And really gain sumting from it....
Or it would seem as though I'm writing nonsense....

My poems... My lyrics... My thoughts...
My reflections.. My love life... My feelings...
My emotions... My hatreds... My lovelies...
My Ups... My downs... My happiness...
My sorrows... My angst.... My solemness....
.
are all....
in this blog....
So...
If one day,
i were to be gone,
please just leave me as I am....
I dun deserve to live in dis world...
not by myself..at least...

dis aint d end just yet....
But I dunno wen it would be...
so gd byezz and sleep well....
I'll be in ur dreams...

Zupz Zupz!

Dear Bloggie...

Okaiyz! Fiqz back today on Friday!
Now now... Hold on to ur horses.. =D
25th June! hahakz...

Now.. Letz start... Vrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom.....

In the morning... Was thinking whether or not I should go to school...
In the end, I decided it was no harm...
So I just bathed and got ready for sch.....
At abt 7.15 i went out...
And reached school on the DOT at 7.20... Fiqz, nv late... =D
So yeaz...
We sang national anthem.... Took d pledge...
And went to hall for Apex programme...
The volleyball team put up the programme...
And I was like "oh no, not dem again...."
So dey repeated d same ting from last week... SHEESH....
That NATIONAL DAY dance... =.=" please manz... Hahakz...
But as a sporty person dat I am...
I danced la... =D
Kinda enjoyed myself along d way...
So did d sec 5s! =D

Hm.... I'm kinda bored...
So I wun talk abt EVERYTHING...
Onli dose interesting parts ar...
Btw, I got 3/35 for maths...
hahahkz... Seriously... No kidding....
I wasn't shocked ar....
D paper wasn't difficult either... =P
I just didn't have d mood and health to do it....
So I guess 1 mark also can ar attitude ar...
And I got 3... Wahahaha....
Happy new year, Fiqz breaks a record for lowest in class =D
Sheesh....
I can do maths la for goodness sakes....
I didn't get B4 for O levels for nothing....
SHEESH...
Den today I got another maths surprise test....
got questions i forget how to do...
But overall ok ar.. My brain is on dis time....
So can do more den wat i noe....

For physics.... We got our test paper back!
And guess wat!
I got 35/50!!!!!!!!!!
Hahakz... A2 sia...fiweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
Budden worse den d other time ar...
Cuz d other time i got A1....41/50 summore...
Now d chpter abit Hamlau..
And getting A2 is like WOW... Hahakz...
*pats self on back...OUCH!*
Anywayz... During english lesson...
Too much drama la... Malas nak say out all...

So yeaz... gez datz all datz interesting for 2day....
Now I'm back at home.......
Just surfing the net...
And just not doing aniting...
Haiz, i just broke sumone's heart...
I mean, I treat her just as a fren...
And she treats me more den dat....
To u, I noe it hurtz, but itz best if u noe my intentions...
Cuz if i keep u waiting, u'll get hurt more...
Trust me, I noe how it feels...
Since we just knew each other....
Itz easier to forget....

Yupz... So datz all....
Life has to move on...
Speaking of life.. Letz make a poem...

From the seed to the trees which bore fruits...
Friendships are to be kept close to the heart in complete suits...
Along the way, there will be bound to be deceit...
But trust among friends will be never make anyone quit...

Sometimes when times go bad, you feel as though you have lesser friends...
It's not that all of them have been killed, its cause sometimes its hard to handle rants....
Looking at my past love life, I come to wonder....
Where have I been, driving a car with no passenger...

I'm still in love with her, That I will have to admit..
But there's more to come, more feelings ending up in deficeit...
There's something about her which attracts me....
And until now I still can't find the reason wo what it may be....

Old folks tell me love is a Holy thing....
While the younger ones tell me love is all about the ring...
As a teenager finding true love, I feel love has to be two way.....
To love and also to be loved, it will never ever decay....

I also realise that to understand love, you gotta experience it youself....
The sweet, bitter, sour...It has nothing to do with wealth...
Every moment is to be cherished, let it be good or bad...
Especially those times, when you got sad...

But as the sun rises up again for a new day...
You can feel that nothing has changed in any way...
Your heart will still be loved and loving......
Even the birds will start to tweet songs played in weddings....

A happy life made up of joy and laughter...
Could get washed away by heart breaks and anger...
But wat keeps us going is not our heart...
But the will to move ahead ever since the start.....

Tankiew...
Gd nite.....

Zupz zupz!

Dear Bloggie....

I'm Basically having a very bad bad stupid day....
I will just cut straight to d point la hor...
Cuz I've written so much, den dis internet crash...
Den damn suay de lohz....

So yar...
I was talking abt oral....
The 1st question was crap....
So was the 2nd question....
And therefore, my oral was crap....
Datz all for 2day... Goodbye...
I feel sucky, but hu careS?
No noe....

Have you imagined a life with no friends...
Just quiet and clean of suspense...
No gossips about love, likes or hates...
There won't be any trouble which usually dictates...

Burning feelings trapped inside....
Causing incomplete combustion outside...
Letting your feeling go just makes you feel emptier...
But keeping them just makes you feel inferior...

Wouldn't it be peaceful living in the land of the dead....
You recognise no one, and no one recognises you even when its too late...
Wouldn't you get much more satisfaction from doing what you want...
Rather than be spoiled by people who makes a dent...

Seriously think about it, what are these people you call friends?
Do they stay in times of trouble instead of just following the latest trends?
Have you looked at yourself in the mirror and ask what friend do you consider yourself to be?
Or are you too blind to see?

This poem is not to hit on anyone...
But the reason for this poem is to hunt...
Hunt on those people who calls themeselves friends but have no commitment...
To these people, please wake up and realise that nothing is ever really permanent...

I've experienced it before....
Lonely nights which lasts up till four...
Talking to myself and two other people...
They are me and I who were nv much of a hustle...

I look infront of a mirror...
And I see a boy with a small exterior...
Staring intensely, deeply to his eyes....
You can see he's destroyed inside just filled with cries...

But no one ever hears his cries..
No one ever cared to know why he cries...
Cause to the public's eyes, he's nothing more than a boy....
Who people get bored with after playing a toy...

His screams, his rants, his helloes and his good byes.....
Did anyone ever recognise within his breaths are sighs?
No matter how loud it could be, still people never took notice...
What do I have to do to attract attention without covering all my cries....

okok... datz all... My brain dying liao....
I NEED TO STUDY MY GEOG!
Chowz!

Zupz ZupZ

Dear Bloggie...

I'm seriously having a bad day manz...
Haiz...
Btw, for those reading my blog, I nv ever intend seeking sympathy or pity from anyone...
So readers, keep all dis discreet infront of me please...

I just came back home from going out with my friends....
Yupz...
Was kinda fun ar...
I went out with Liyana, Huda, Siqin, Alfi and Salihin....
At 1st we went to Bugis, coz alfi and huda wanted to buy bag ar....
we waited for so long manz.. Sheesh....
Itz like dem making bags...
Anywayz... After dat, we went to Makan at Banquet of Raffles Hospital...
Me and salihin bought Mee Wantan...
Huda, Alfi and Siqin bought nasi ayam....
And Liyana bought carrot cake...
Even though I was d 1st to start eating, eventually I was d last to finish...
So yea, I eat SLOW...
And throughout our meal, I suan Siqin...
Hahakz... Suan until she wanna give up manz....
I'm not gonna say HOW i suan her la...
Later she malu.. =X
So yea...
Anywayz...
After eating, we left for the place where dey bought d bag..
Coz huda's bag had some diformaties....
And she wanted to change it....
Luckily it didn't take quite long...
While dey were changing d bag...
Me, Siqin, liyana and salihin thought of where to go next....
In the end we thought of Tampines...
1stly coz Alfi wanted to buy sumting at Popular....
Me Liyana and Salihin went into yamaha and took a look around...

I looked at the mouthpieces...
And guess wat....
there was onli ONE euphonium mouthpiece left....
And that costs $110....
I'm like.. WTF?
The rest were T-bone mouthpieces costing 60 odd..
Bias to the Euphoniums manz.. tsk3....
Nvm nvm....
From Tampines mall, we went to Challenger....
We went there coz Liyana wanted to find sumting for her router...
And she found it, called her dad and we were off....
Home.... =D
It wasn't so direct..
We didn't quite directly went home...
Itz a long story ar, malas sak nak type...
Hahakz.. =X
Ok... I took 39 home....
And here I am now.. Infront of d comp!

So yeaz...
Why am I feelin down?
Actually.. I aint clear to wat I'm feelin rite now...
I'm askin myself, am I in love?
To sumone hu doesn't care abt me? Datz just not a true logic.....
I'm falling into sumting which i told myself not to....
seriously, I'm confused....
Guess the onli way to solve dis is to write a poem....
So here goes....

North south east west...
This will put ur sense of direction to the test...
Left right front back....
Hold on tightly to what u believe coz u'll get off track...

Reading maps of the heart seems to be easy....
But when a third party steps in, everything starts getting greasy...
Confused in manipulations of truths and lies...
Hoping for the best, trying to hold on to strong ties...

My life is nothing more than how music flows....
When things gets sweet, I'll take things close....
I still feel doubtful of myself making decisions...
Even to the extent to breaking off my relations...

Tears of emptiness flow down my cheek and collects on my chin...
Though there's a smile of my face which never looks so keen...
Memories of the recent past still lingers in my mind...
Every single detail, every single word...I can nv leave behind....

Some people may tell me its too good to be true...
But I still believed in her, dat was all dat I do...
Just to find out I was wrong a million times over...
That I'm just nothing to her...

So now, I'm bringing myself up the courage that i've always had....
Forcing myself to put all this behind, nv wanting to be sad...
Picking up strength for something new...
Just like the saying goes, every morning there will be drops of dew....

Fiqz. outz...

ZupZ ZupZ!

Dear Bloggie...

Hmmmm.. Itz been 10 days since I've updated dis blog...
So I guess I'll update 2day...
Yuppiez! Letz go! Heez...

Okaiyz den....
In the morning...
Woke up for Subuh....
Den slept back...
Though of doing POA or SS or wat...
Budden felt very sleepy...
Lynn!! U said u wanna call...
Hahakz.. Nvm nvm...
Anywayz...
Wen I got back up again..
Went to bathe..
Den got ready for school...
I mgz her, den I'm off to school....
I brought my phone for d 1st time in 5 years to school..
Hahakz...
Coz I wasn't planning to go home after school...
So yeaz..
I stayed in school for like until 3+....
Den I went to d library....
Reached d library at 3.30pm....
Waited for dem to come for 15 mins...
And we looked for a place to sit...

In the end we went down and sat at one corner....
Den I started teaching Siha maths...
She catches up quite fast...
Hope she'll do well for her test tml...
Jia you! Heez...
So the so called "tution" lasted for one hour....
She better remember wat I teach her manz... Hahakz... =D
Btw, if ya still need my help, maybe dis sat i can help ya aightz?

Oh yar, I spilled tonnes of acids on my hand just now...
hahakz... No, my hand didn't get eaten up....
Luckily dey were diluted... So I played with it lohz...
Hahakz... frenz called me siao... =P
And I nearly burnt my hand sia... Hahakz...
PHEW manz.... =D
Lucky day after all huh 2day.....
I had MATHS TEST 2day summore sia....
Omg... the test was dead difficult manz...
If I can't do, I doubt many could...
Heez... Prasan aku ni... =X
But really difficult...
It was a surprise test summore lohz...
Before maths was POA...
Went to megamaths lab for dat...
Then we went thru the questions on TYS....
Sum of which I can do, and sum I dun understand at all ar...
Nvm, I gotta do well for POA manz...
Stress stress... I LOVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...woopz.haiz..

Hmmmmmmmz....
Before recess got English...
For English period...
We went thru tips for Oral exam....
For oral conversation...
She said dat we must have 3 solid ideas in our heads...
If not have 2 points which can be elaborated clearly...
There were sports....
Computer....
and Music...
I mean, these are my core topics ar...
For sports, must tink of wat type of sport...
I said Soccer....
What is needed in soccer...
Skills...
Knowledge of d rules of d game...
And all la...
For computer....
I seperate to 3 parts...
Projects, Games and Online...
For projects, I talk abt school projects....
making it look more presentable and nice looking...
For games, itz to release my stress on....
To keep myself occupied.....
And Online is to expand my circle of frenz...
And also to communicate easily to my frenz thru chatting....
For Music...
Hmmm.. There are tonnes of tings which I've oleady writtten in here la hor...

And as for Apex FREE PERIOD...
I copied my fren's POA hw....
Too tired to do POA after all d maths I've done at home...
Maths is seriously starting to kill me...
But no matter wat... I'm gonna get dat A1...
By hook or by crook....
If any Tom Dick or Harry, Jill Jane Joe can do it...
I can do it too! Yea, Fiqz rox! hahakz.. =D
nah, I aint self consoling myself... Itz facts manz... =D

If u noticed... I went thru 2day from d back....
Sori yar... I prefer writing it dat way....
Dun like it den i'm sori, dis is my blog... =D
Anywayz, tankiew for visiting...
Hope to see ya again soon... =D
Ah yes, please do hug me, i am huggable u noe...
And also, Do tag my board on d left....
Itz getting kinda dead... ={ so yea... tankiew! =D
I guess I'll just end off the day with a poem....
Which I haven thought of yet... so here goes.... =X

Love comes and goes....
Even when the sun shines or when it snows...
My love for you embraces any weather...
The worst storms only makes it stronger....

Just looking at you made me melt...
But I don't think you would know how I would have felt...
Cause I'll just be this normal guy....
Who never fails to make u fly high.....

Dreaming and thinking of you every day, and every night....
Even during times which I keep quiet, you'll never leave my sight....
You take my breath away every second, every single moment...
I take a vow to be your lover, for that is all I yearn...................

Gd nitez all... Luv u....

Zupz ZupZ!

Dear Bloggie...

WHeeez... I'm back.. I gez...
Hmmmz....
Hey August is here! Hahakz....
Yupz yupz....
Finally the burden of July has been lifted off my shoulders...
Phew... =D
Ok now for August....
Damn I love August.....
1st week of August, my school had dis Speech Day ting....
Then we dun have lessons for the whole day...
Datz just wicked manz....
And d day after dat was a day of celebration...
Where students dun need to come back to school...
Double kewlz manz... Hahakz....
And of cuz, I spend my days at home sleeping... =D
Heez....

Ah yea, last week, I got sick...:(
This sensitive skin tingy la....
Weird ting....
I kept scracthing myself like crazy manz....
Until bleed lohz... haiz....
Itz damn itchy... grrrr...
Den wen I finish scratching, got this type of like "maps" forming...
Gee.. wicked..
Hmmm.... Well, that itchiness lasted me 3 days....
Which coincidentally is my weekends...
Awww... so wasted....
My whole weekend scratching... Fun hor...."FUN"...

And today... monday...
National day celebration!!!
Hahakz... kewlz rite... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez...
Went to school on the dot, as always...
Den wore my tie and took it off as we didn't have to wear....
The band played majulah Singapura... hahakz....
Nice lohz.. Band rox! Hahakz... =D
Yuppz... I'd rather not perform 2day...
So hot, wear blazer and all just to play two songs... sheesh...
Heez... Anywayz,... We went to hall...
Watched the finalists for the National Day cheer/rap tingy....
Alot of great performances... sum were crap, sum were nice...
Hey, hu's d judge? not me rite.. so cannot comment much ar.. =D
After all the performances and prize giving...
Got one guy lose his wallet... Alamak, coz of him cannot go back class...
Sheesh... As for me, I just stayed with my fren ar...
Cuz itz my job to carry chairs in the hall...
heez... Chair carrier...-.-"
Yupz...
Den got spot check...
Aint gonna scare me, I'm clean, as always... Law of Student Council.. =D
Damn I love SC... :D
Anywayz... Everyone had to clear everything from their bags and pockets...
And still, noting was found... the wallet was still, lost... hahakz...
Wat astonishes me the most, was that he left it on a chair and went to perform on stage...
I mean, ON A CHAIR... While half of me felt sympathy for him, my other half thought he'd deserved it...
At least ask sumone to look after it la rite... Manz... Sad...
After the wallet hunt, Everyone went back to class....

I came to class due 2 d hall delay tingy....
And wen I reached back class...
Everyone were cuttin pastin and designing mini flags...
Kinda nice ar.. I created my own plain one... Not nice of cuz...
But hu cares, hahakz... =D
Was not fun at all lohz...
Just cut cut cut... Design paste and staple onto one long raphia string...
Sheesh....
And wen the whole string was covered with "flags"
We hanged dem outside our classrooms...
Kinda cool actually... =D
Mine was in d middle! hahahkz... Bluekz...

We received this, "Today in History" book...
Where it shows all that has happend in Singapore...
For each and every day of the year....
kewlz rite... Yea... Datz wy....
On my bday, I dunno wat dey wrote also ar...
8th of June.. A tigress was killed.....*me: laughin like crazy*
Hahakz... THE ZOO WAS OPENED ON 8TH OF JUNE!!!!!!!!!
HAHA... =X
Woopz... No wonder most of my frenz are animals manz.... kekez...
Sheesh.. no hard feelins hor hor hor..... Hahakz...
Budden rite... tinking over it again and again rite....
Kinda kewlz ar... =D

Ah yes, den I went home of cuz....
And i slept for dunno how long.. Cuz I dowan 2 sleep tonite...
Wahahaha.... Sianz.. =X
Until now lohz... YEA....
Gah, I'm bored....
Make sure everyone go watch dat National Day Speech hor 2nite...
Heez... Dunno wy so very keen to watching it also de....

Oh yar, Farlina...
Add me in frenster also kkz....
My email is taufiq_sclub7@hotmail.com =D
Tankiew so so much...
Will look forward in hearin from u... =D

My Current Fav songs...
1)Demolition Lovers(MCR)
2)Just to let you know(BSB)
3)Clap to This(Too Phat)
4)Everything Burns(Ben Mood Feat. Anastacia)
5)I've got my mind set on you(George Harrison)

Current Games played...
1)Warcraft: The frozen throne
2)Crazy Taxi

Looking FORWARD...---->
1)confirm wake up late...
2)Read through my Social Studies...
3)MAYBE do POA...
4)Go online or play game.....(very likely)
5)Pick up weights...
6)Go out with friends..

Demolition Lovers (My Chemical Romance)

Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this[x4]

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever


ZupZ ZupZ!!