30th december 2003....

elloz everyone out there..., well, basically, i juz wanna write abt dat days performance at SOKA.... at d overall, it reallly was d worst experience i ever got........

D sound for sure did not travel far as i can't even here loud from where i was..... argh, it was like d worst disaster in my performing history..... and as for d whole nite, it was plain boring, didn't understand aniting...

Ellooooz one and alll....

Hm, 2day, 2day was d day... erm, watz dat line, owh yar, 2day rite, i went to d library with my syg..... den we juz talked in d library, had fun.... after dat, we went out, i wanted 2 go TM, to go buy a black shirt, den yar, we went.... den we hold hands walking together.... den after i bought d shirt, i send yati home.... den after dat went to mosque 2 pray, den after dat went homeeeeee...... wah, starting 2 get boring oleady, haha, =P....

Ok, actually d highlight ish tml la.... D SOKA performance at SOKA tampines.... For me, d performance will not be dat difficult la.... but as in d practices, i feel dat d band have been like, haven't been up to standard.... Looking at d SYF which was in july dis year, i wished i was performing with d same bunch of pple, hu really wanted music, hu really appriciated music, not cuz dey were forced 2 or aniting... owh yar, not to mention having a wonderful conductor hu made d magic happend for us... but now, dose bunch of pple are no where in band anymore, and our wonderful conductor hates us...... I hope, wen we perform, and dat our conductor is one of dem hu are in d audience, we can show to her dat we were sorry and regretted our actions, and hence, try 2 recieve us slowly... yes, i agree dat we were rude, but we didn't realised dat till u left, for d past few days of practice, i have been losing touch with music, with no one to guide, yes we do have student conductors, but dey are not proffesionals... I noe.. I noe dat it would be one in a billion chances dat she will read dis, but d band means sumting to me, and if i could, i juz would like 2 see d band together again.....

And with dat, I'll end my entry to here..... wish me luck for tml's performance..... take care everyone....

Dear diary...

Itz raining drizzily outside right now, well, my feelings are sumwhat gloomy...
The feeling of not knowing, the feeling of curiousity.... How shall i find myself, from dis maze of confusion.... Thunder, rages from d sky to earth, my sorrows have always fallen to deaf ears...

Lightning, has blinded me from seeing darkness, but without u, I'll be useless.... We found ourselves, in a weird way i may say, but it doesn't mean we were suppose to be astray... We endure, and we persevere, till now and forever, we'll alwayz be together.......

Itz dark, very dark, though how bright d light shines from the bulb, if i were to ever lose u, my life will nv be lit again...

Cuz, Nurhayati..Ur the love in my life, even though how far we may be from each other, I'll be missing u all d time.... ("(*~.~Taufiq~.~*)") ;-)

Hey there pple....

Well, d last few days have been d worst days for me.... I couldn't explain my feelings, itz like, i miss d only love of my life so much.... even if it has only been 3 days, to me, it seems like 3 months... i can't sleep at nite..... hoping dat she is safe.... now itz d forth day, and she'z burning strongly in my heart..... for i always noe, she will nv leave my heart, and i'll never leave her heart.......

A warm welcome to one and all, I am Taufiq, better known as Fiq... Hmmmm, now i'll change to malay... Dah satu bulan kiter berpuase, dan, alhamdulillah, Fiq dapat full tahun ni... (harap duit raye full gak yer.. =P) Anywayz, Esok da raye da, and, Fiq nye persiapan sudah disiap(alhamdulillah), cumer langsir bilik je lom letak... Pada malam yang cukup berbahagia ini, Fiq harap semua dalam keadaan yang sihat dan ceria, Baju raye awak awak semua warna aper? Fiq nye biru, plain biru je... Fiq juga mahu mengambil kesempatan untuk meminta maaf kepada semua yang Fiq kenal, kerana Fiq tahu Fiq telah buat banyak kesalahan pada tahun ini, minta maaf jika Fiq telah menyakitkan hati awak awak, Fiq terkasar bahase ke... Dengan itu, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Dan Batin kepada semua... ;-)

A warm welcome to one and all, I am Taufiq, better known as Fiq... Hmmmm, now i'll change to malay... Dah satu bulan kiter berpuase, dan, alhamdulillah, Fiq dapat full tahun ni... (harap duit raye full gak yer.. =P) Anywayz, Esok da raye da, and, Fiq nye persiapan sudah disiap(alhamdulillah), cumer langsir bilik je lom letak... Pada malam yang cukup berbahagia ini, Fiq harap semua dalam keadaan yang sihat dan ceria, Baju raye awak awak semua warna aper? Fiq nye biru, plain biru je... Fiq juga mahu mengambil kesempatan untuk meminta maaf kepada semua yang Fiq kenal, kerana Fiq tahu Fiq telah buat banyak kesalahan pada tahun ini, minta maaf jika Fiq telah menyakitkan hati awak awak, Fiq terkasar bahase ke... Dengan itu, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Dan Batin kepada semua... ;-)

ellloooozzzz everyone, hey, hari raya is juz around d corner, well, actually, juz next week, so, u all made ur "kuihs" oleady? no? yes? well, dun worry, u can always get it at geylang... =P, *like putting an advertisement on dis page rite* no la, i juz came back from geylang with me family *hopefully dey were oleady up =P* and bought my hari raya clothes, mine is BLUEEEE.... haha... i am starting to get all blue, so wy not choose a colour dat fits my mood dis hari raya rite.... hm.... other den d wonderful celebration, in December, I am going to have a band camp.....

Ok, now, d band camp... listen up all band members, yes u too, i mean, if u are a BAND MEMBER... here is d dates, 10-12 December.... Time is from 9am(check in) and 11am on d last day for checking out..... D venue is in school(i noe, very d boring rite, well, cannot be helped, last minute one).... Objectives: To unite the band(which means unite evryone from sec 2s to 4s and to work on the fundamentals of the band(every section, ur graduating senior of ur section will come to tutor the juniors AND u too)..

Things to bring:1. Clothes(2 to 3 shirts, 1 to 2 pants)
2. slippers or sandals
3. personal toiletries(easily understood as toothbrush, paste, etc...)
4. personal medication(only if u have la..)
5. fork and spoon(or else u eat with ur hands ar...)
6. personal fav. drink satchets (min. 9 satchets... dun be crazy and bring d alot.)
8. Plastic bags(for soiled clothes)
9. 10-cent coins(phone calls) (bring ALOT if u want, cuz at nite, u'll be regretting it if u dun, itz for ur own survival...;))
10. titbits(ur cup noodles... and all)
11 MINERAL WATER (cumpulsory, there will be marching)
12. sleeping bags(if u have, for me, i juz sleep on d hard ground)

Things NOT to bring: actually there's not much la ar, erm, d usual, Handphones, walkmans, discmans, PLAYSTATION(itz true u noe, last year, sum pple actually bring it to camp and play at nite) and other stuff which d school dun allow...

FOOOOODDD: 1st day: breakfast--->bread with nuteela(budget seh)
lunch----> Fried rice(haiz...)
Dinner---> Fried nooddles(....)
2nd day and 3rd day not comfirmed

U will recieve the time table of d band camp during one of d practices...
I hope u all enjoy the band camp..... take care to all!!!! =D

Fiqz, signing off...

I tink i wanna start my dream journal.... it has become soooo real.... hm.... anywayz, my journal for 2day, i can't really say aniting much cuz i've been juz sleeping.... i've got a bod sore throat and can bearly speak.....

Ellozz one and all, erm, too grand huh... okok, lax... me juz back... and well, i dunno wat to say actually... haven't been doing much since i am fasting.... actually, there is, like playng soccer and stuff, and ever since my comp broke down, i've been reading books, and datz like, "WHOA!" "fiqz is actually starting to read books" er, my response is dat, ok, yar dat is like sumting new for me, i mean, okok, not DAT new cuz i've read Harry Potter all d four books ok(er, ok, i've been abit lazy 2 read e 5th one, but that will come soon though...) anywayz, i dun really got aniting to do cuz i am fasting, so i will be like, sleeeeeping and reading and sleeeep summore.... and datz my daily routine unless i got plans, which means my frenz call me up 2 do sumting to pass d time... For d past few days, i dunno, i feel as if, so....lonely inside... like... u can't describe e feeling, u have d feeling dat u dunno how 2 describe, i personally feel dat itz quite frustrating wen u can't show ur feelings, and hiding it wun do any good as it will stick like strong PVA glue in ur head... well, wat can i say, i get even more amazed by how my dreamz could be real... i wanna noe how and why i do it, but there's juz sumting in me dat says itz all to wake me up and start a new day fresh.....

Ok, hm... here's e boring part, get ready with ur pillows and cuddle tightly to it cuz itz gonna be very d boring.... hm, my results are like, erm, satisfactory dis year, which i can nv say i am not satisfied, so i juz can say dat, i did okok onli, (considering i failed 3 subs and managed 2 get an overall %tage of 60%), compared to my last year's results, i tink i'd rather live an eternity in my sec 2 life.... i thought i could do better in sec 3, i let my guard down too much.... d results, simply devastating... but i vow revenge, for in 2004, i'll get mentally prepared and study(not like siao, cuz datz like reading hundred pages of textbooks and get noting from it) smart... i'll have 2 sacrifice sum times for other tings which i usually do.......

well, datz all for 2day, i mean, yesterday, i mean, owh neverminddd.... for all dose hu are fasting, STAY STRONG! Hari Raya is juz around d corner! keke, Kuih da siap lom! da siap hantarkan ar sikit, kiter mau raser... =D (cam tak tau malu g2 seh) haha, kkz, have fun, stay positive, be happy and nv EVER tink of giving up wat u have..... Fiqz, signing off...

Dear Me, Myself, and I.....

Today was D most tiring day ever. In the morning, when I was snoring(I dun really snore, but who cares, at least it rhymes), my dad woke me up to go jogging, but i was still dreaming... He pulled me out of bed, carrying a heavy burden over his head, I was dragged on the floor as id I was dead, till I was splashed water all over my bed... I finally woke up, tired and sleepy as i walked, dragging my body like a corpse.... okok, stop d rhyming, I really can't tink of aniting now.... =P

Dear Myself,

2day, the 31st of August, I am writing to you again, because I have forgotten to update you yesterday, for I am really sorry, therefore, I am going to just write about my day during teachers day...

On teachers day, I woke up in the morning, head spinning like mad, but still I forced and dragged myself out of bed, looking for some hope of recovery, but it didn't happend... I bathed with alot of difficulties, I was weak, my body was rejecting my mind... But still, I forced myself again, and again, my body and mind was in totally in a different state... After bathing, I wore my school uniform and did my morning prayers, my body was still weak, my body just told me to stay at home, forget about the whole teachers day, but my mind rejected this thought, and still fought on... At 6.30am, I left my house, walked slowly to school with a heavy burden on my body, still thinking whether I should be doing, but my mind just snapped at that and continued thinking about the performance I was going to do.

Finally, I reached school, what a big achievement that was with a body full of sickness, anyways, I went to the council room exactly at 6.40am and asked for the SC T-shirt, then they gave me the T-Shirt, and guess what, I had to go to the toilet twice, because once I went to change, I wore the PE T-Shirt inside then just overlap the SC shirt over it, but then, one of the other SCs told me that the teacher would scold me if I wore that way, so, I went back to the toilet, changed into the SC shirt without the PE shirt inside and proceeded to the SC room... Then at around 6.50am, there was a briefing, then after the briefing, I had to go out to the quadrangle and rearrange the chairs for the teachers to sit as the were too far back from the stage on the day before, during the moving of chairs, I nearly colapsed, I didn't know what was wrong with my body, my mind was set on for the performance, I was just thinking of the phrase "Mind over matter"...

After everything was ready, the flag raising was carried out, and after that the programme started, this was the first project made my the 4th student council and we were hoping it would run smoothly. The principal started the programme by reading the teacher's day message. And after that, the SCs were called out to give out cards and flowers to the teachers... I was the one who was suppose to give the card and flowers to my most favourite teacher which is Mrs. Liu my POA teacher, she has done alot for my class, her patience was very high and by her teaching, I can safely say she's an experienced teacher.

After all the cards were given out, there was the poem reading competition, I didn't really got to hear, because I was still too busy looking for the teachers. Hm, after the poem reading stuff, I was feeling abit recovered as in my temperature has gone down and my body was going strong again but at the same time, I was nervous to get on stage, then, in a split second, the 6 of us who are performing on stage were called up(I was the only guy on stage =P). Then the music started for the first time, but it was too soft and we couldn't hear so we didn't start to dance also. The second time, the music was faint but we could hear, so we started dancing. We danced and danced, until we were like so tired, we called up some teachers up too then the whole school went wild. The teachers were so called, "saboed" to get on stage, that was the fun part. Then after all that dancing and all, the programme was over at 8.30am, but the principal decided to drag longer till 8.45am and we were dismissed. After we were dismissed, some teachers congratulated the SCs to have made the project a success as it ran very smoothly.

Well, thats all I can say about teachers day, actually I have alot to say, but the time doesn't allow me to continue. so I will just end here... Till next time then, this is Taufiq, thankz for reading my blog, I will update it more often, in the mean time, enjoy ur holiday on monday and have fun during the one week break holidays... Take care and good bye everyone...

With lotz of love,
Fiqz

Dear myself.....

2nite, I am writing to you in perfect english because I just want you to see this...(elipsis dots) Anyway, today has not been a very good day for me, and the same goes for the days before this day, I have been sick, and when I say sick, I mean very sick(but not as sick to have SARS, I hope), but I will still live on(I hope to live on)...

My sickness was not able to pull me back from performing on stage and going back to my primary school today which is Griffiths Primary, but the consequences I have to face, which is an aching head, a pair of tired legs and hands, a nose which keeps running out with mucus, a pair of eyes which "burns" everytime I close my eyes, and now, I am starting to get a fever. What have I done to deserve this, I admit I have done wrong things, but I have not done the same mistakes.

In band, I was happilly playing my euphonium, and I was hoping to start a new life with my euphonium, I was perfecting everything I could with my euphonium, but then, just last week, my conductor told me to change from euphonium to a tuba. That really broke my heart into trilions of pieces, because the euphonium was the 1st reason I liked coming to band. And of course the second reason was that I loved classical music. But without my 1st reason, I feel useless and a drag to go to band now, my euphonium was the reason i stayed in band, and to take that away from me, I feel totally useless. I am not making a complaint, because I have not tried fully the tuba, but what I am trying to say is that I can never depart from the euphonium, it has been the only instrument I have ever used which I liked playing and enjoy most playing with. I'd like to say again, my euphonium is like something so much valuable to me, is doesn't matter who's euphonium, just don't change that instrument for me, I just can't change, even to a smaller instrument in a brass section in band i mean, I simply can't, I really felt as if I could cry hearing that I had to change to a tuba. Anyway, if i get well tomorrow, I will go to band and see how 1st...

Now to my studies, I passed my Social Studies which is like a big achievement for me, and I also passed my maths, which shows I am not that bad in maths and Social Studies, I failed my Geography though, but my failure was only by afew marks which I know I had to study more on it, I passed both my Chemistry and Physics which gurantees a pass for me in Combine Science, and as for POA, I took the retest and still waiting for the results, Malay I passed but with very low marks, and as for English, I am still waiting too...

Anyway, thats all I want to tell you 2nite, because I need to sleep already as my eyes can't take anymore of the pain converted from the screen to my eyes, so I shall just bid farewell to you and I hope to update you as soon as possible and I hope you pray that I get well...

From lots of love,
Fiqz

Hmmmmmm, Eloooooooz to one and alllll! hehe, I dunno wy, i juz feel very happy 2day...... I realised that sumtimes, pple can't be all d time happy and all d time sad, itz juz not logical, feelings are supposed to be expressed regardless of happiness or sadness......

As for my feelings 2day, I am glad dat i am feeling happy..... cuz itz d onli feeling dat makes ur body feel alive.... Anywayz, 2day in band, as always, I was the onli person in my section(haiz...wy does it have 2 be me=( ), den it was like, in d beginning of band, i was the one hu took out my instrument 1st(I miss my eupho ok, itz been 4 dayz since i get to touch my eupho), den i start 2 tune my eupho(actually itz my seniors one, but she say she wanted 2 bring down the eupho to me, so i felt very lucky, the eupho was very very nice) And so, I played dat eupho, d sound dat came out was like, WOW... My tuning was almost perfect, but d onli problem was dat, wen playing, the 4th valve keep getting stuck, especially wen playing very fast...... so i put alot of valve oil, even with ALOT of valve oil, after 10-15 mins, it still got STUCK..... and sooooo, i persevered after dat, and d valve was ok(thank goodness).... den Mr. Chua gave us a new song, and he told us dat we are going to finish dat song by dat day, and as usual, d band was like "HAR!? BY 2DAY!?"..... den we sight read the music..... and we played the song quite badly, it was a very very very very ODD song, I even called it a cartoon song, cuz it was sooooo oddd!!!! I see d notes were ok, but den it had no tune 2 it, it was like, d next bar wld be quite different from d 1st or other bars... But den, after half an hour of SELF-PRACTICE (instead of SECTIONALS, cuz i was the ONLI euphonium)... I rushed to d store room and get my Standard of Excellence cuz some of d notes i didn't noe d keys... and so i wasted 10 mins looking for dat book, den finally i came down to prac, i was left with 20 mins..... so i rushed, and got all d notes correct.... dat was fine, den d rythym part, dat was abit tricky..... den after the half an hour of self prac, we all went back to d music room, den we played for d 2nd time, dis time we managed to survive through and play d ting once through.... haha, it really sounded funny even wen we play correctly, and d title say grand band sumting sumting...... it was suppose to be grand rite?(like DUH?) but it sounded more to a confusing feeling, sumtimes i play parts which i play alone, and datz really weird 2 me...... Den after dat, finish band liaoz, I was very very VERY tired and worn out... so went down 2 d SC room, throw myself to d couch.... and watch d rest of d councillors dance..... den sumone had to tell me i was going to dance on the stage on teachers day with 4 other councillors and sum teachers.... i was like "WAT?! ME THE ONLI GUY!?" there were like"yupz!" and i went, "I THOUGHT EVERYONE IN TEAM A HAD TO DANCE ON STAGE!?" and theys said, "The vice-president lohz" and i was like "SHE'Z DEAD MANZ!".. but den she came into d room, i was like, nvm la.... Maybe i dance too good liaoz........ den after dat ashraf called us outside and showed us a demonstration of air pressure!... it was really nice manz, i tink i wanna try it out sumtime....... anywayz, after d demonstartion, i felt like going home, and so i went home....... den noting much happend lohz, ARGH! my hair is still long, wen will i get it cut, i never noe, and yar, for the SC, i tink it wld be better if the SC wore black shoes to school, more fitting with d black pants.......

With dat, Tankz for reading my journal for 2day signing off at 10.32pm...... post another one soon or late.... so long, adios amigoz and sinioritaz out there...... "Riding the lightning, catching the wind, Soaring the path, Thundering everyone within my wrath... the speedy kid!"

Helo, itz me again.... I juz feel like typing sum stuff in here..... I tink I'll juz start by going thru my timeline as i grow older and how fiq became hu he is now.... imagine dis train, setting off a station called the 13 years old station(datz where my life began), and going down d rail, i am going at constant speed, not too fast, nor too slow.... juz moderately moving along the tracks..... den suddenly the speed gets faster and faster, datz wen i was having fun in sec 1, and d train keept increasing speed cuz i joined soccer and was very excited to play for d soccer team..... wen it was nearing the 14 years old station, the speed decreased by alot and almost came to a halt as my academic results and soccer had to be closed down, my dream was erased, for 3 months the train moved very slowly, den came an inspiration, the fuel of the train, I joined band.... at dat time, the fuel was burning slowly, the speed was increasing slowly after each band practice...... after alot of band practices, my train was speeding off very fast at top speed as i was also achieving results in my academic performance, dat was the only time wen the train gave out a big roar to everyting dat came in itz path, the train was speeding very fast and slowly towards the end of the year, the train not only began to move faster, but began to move higher, dat was wen i got 2nd in class for my academic results and i was chosen to be in the main band........ At the 15 year old station, my train was oleady at high speed, moving at speeds nv imagined, scaling new heights, my determination grew and grew....... but.... after a few months after leaving the 15 year old station, my academic results started to drop, but i was still keeping strong in band, by dis time, my train had dropped to d normal level and d speed had decreased by half...... I try to put in more fuel, but theres juz no spark to make it burn, i felt useless.... the train decreased alot...... by mid-year, my train was only barely moving, i was dead, my interest in music put in more fuel after every practice, but i am still not moving as my academic results didn't bring a spark to the fuel to unleash the energy kept..... therefore i did not move, my train was getting rusty, day after day, it started to rain heavily, dat is wen the teachers scolded me..... i was left alone to slowly rust, d rails were also rusting, slowly, the fuel dissappeared as my confidence in SYF was destroyed in d process........ I had noting, left alone, hollow, had oleady gave up, nv wanted 2 fight back, i was slacking, i didn't really cared much abt wat was thought in school, i kept failing my POA and maths.... I had no one, everyone was looking down on me, my train was flooded by the heavy rain and wasn't even bothered, all i wanted was to give up.... the sun was blocked and it was total darkness, my train was black, rusty and old... but den, sumone came into my life, the sun started to shine brightly, the flood began to vapourise, inch by inch, my wheels moved, dropping the rust on it, the rails suddenly became unrusted, all around the train, flowers started blooming, the fields became bright green, butterflies were everywhere...... I started to take pride in my work, do revisions, study hard........ now the sparks were coming, but the fuel wasn't there....YET!, then i started to practice hard in band, and even my conductor was shocked, i memorised the whole song for SYF, i was fully prepared.... now my train is accelerating fast..... at d next maths test, i passed and scored, as i did afew careless mistakes here and there...... i moved on, my train was moving! shiny as ever! it was as if itz brand new, and beside it was another train which joined me, it was because of her my train was moving..... she, she gave me confidence, happiness and everyting i need...... And yes, her name was Nurhayati...... it was because of her i moved on.... i became sumone...... *to be continued*

Eloooz everyone, haiz..... been a long month..... i even didn't update dis ting for more den one month also..... Anywayz, in d month, i tink i've some sort of changed...... I am like, not say changed alot, and not say changed abit...... Itz a change dat i've never experienced..... haiz....... watz d feeling from happy to sad...... now i feel d negative feeling in me, d more i make pple happy, d more negative energy i am getting, and get ignored by pple around me also is quite making me sad.... I mean, watz up with u all.... am i starting to get invisible, and also, i notice not many pple even remember my bday.... for dis whole time i am like wat? i puppet with no feelings trying to make pple happy and all, and u all guess i wld be happy alone.... juz alone with myself..... now i am like tinking abt alot of tings, wy was i enrolled in NASS, wy wasn't i put in an other school, wy did i became so "stupid" as to make others happy and make myself miserable for the sake of others.... I noe it felt good being happy and all, but den, wen itz ur time 2 be sad, wy does d world start 2 fall upside down and keep pressing on u..... Being sad and miserable is a stage in one's life where dey really feeling commiting suicide and all dose stuff.... I mean, yar i noe d meaning of life and how precious life is, but only juz by sadness alone can make sumone not tink about how meaningful life is and wants to end it as soon as possible so as not to face other problems...... Yar i noe, others may tell u, or shld i say remind u dat life is important and shld treasure every moment, but like i said b4, wen sadness kicks in, ur life u dun care anymore, u juz wanna look for a shortcut 2 end ur life and finish it once for all.....

OK, so here's my story, u noe dat wen u trust sumone, u wld open up and be very interested to sumone's problems and wld give a listening ear or try 2 help d person by cheering the person up or just by giving advices..... well, for me, I trust this sumone, but dat sumone has abt 50% or less(dropping) trust with me..... and datz like, for me, i am really very dissapointed cuz wen u give sumone ur full trust, u will expect 2 get d same..... But unluckily for me, dat person whom i trust fully, have a 50/50 view of my trust...... D person even keeps secrets in front of me.... and itz like, it defies the meaning of trust totally, watz d meaning of trust wen u keep having secrets? I mean..... Summore we r very close, and i start 2 tink of our future, or most of d time, MY future..... Shld we depart, or shld we stay, or shld dis secret ting juz add up till it makes a big "BOOM!" and suddenly i come to a shock and get a heart attack...... Or maybe dis secret juz collects and collects even more, and wen itz out, i'll juz be left alone again as i am usually am, d fiq i once was, d lonely fiq.... having noting but myself.... Hey wait! I am starting to get lonely by d minute, hour, days, months..... By saying all dis, i am oleady alone, I mean, cumon, wat do i have, i am juz dis guy hu oves studying science(chemistry) and my juniors are like sumsort of bullying me oleady..... If i am very famous den itz ok, but i am not, I am not famous and will never be cuz i am juz dis guy hu juz makes pple happy and datz it, i can't even maintain a good conversation..... Wy do i get stuck in a conversation and wen everyones waiting for me to tok and i have noting to say? Wy can't i have a smootuh flowing conversation whereby wen itz my turn to speak, i have loads of tings to tok abt? Itz not dat i can't talk, hello, i noe how 2 speak english.... And another factor, in my school, as usual, there are over a majority of chinese....but onli a handful of malays...... and i have been making notes on wen a chinese and a chinese meet, ok, make dis a senario, There are 2 chinese students and a malay student, without fail, even in front of the malay, the two chinese will talk in chinese...... I am not saying dis cuz of by theory it will happend, i am saying dis cuz i am experienced dis alot of countless times, but i juz let it go all d time.... Wat is dis? calling it favouring d minority groups? den like dat mite as well different races join different specific race schools rite? dey can speak in their own language for all dey noe, everyone wld understand.....

Anywayz, enough of all dis racist tings, for me now in band.... I am d onli person in my section, i am alone, never have i felt so sad, everyones leaving me! haiz..... wat will happend next, i will nv noe..... is my fate going to change or am i still going d same direction....................

Hmmmm...... July 4th...... 10 more days..... haiz...... Anywayz, yesterday was so much fun....... let me juz started from beginning to end ar(lets juz see how many of u all wld be asleep by den, hehe), yesterday, in d morning, went to school.... den took temperature and school started with reading period.... everyone was innocently doing their reading as usual...... doing noting IRRESPONSIBLE....... den after reading period, we all had our Mother tounge..... and our teacher didn't come, so boring, haiz...... den after dat got maths! yay! dunno wy i suddenly like maths, haha.....(gone siao siao abit lately, but siao in a positive way hor) Den we all did trigonometry! my fav chpter.... haha.... been studying for it, =P LOL....... den we do do do..... at last finally 9.45am, d bell rang, and i rushed to the music room and helped the percussion down d staircase...... and finally i remembered i had 2 bring my euphonium along(or else wat am i going to play with????) den i rushhhhh up back to d music room and grabbed my case and ran down back...... and i had 2 carry 3 euphos on d same time, and i really look quite odd........ finally, my work all is done, carried d percussions, carried my eupho..... and off we were to VCH...... I slept the whole entire journey to VCH and i had sumone in my mind all d time while my eyes were close shut, i had a wonderful sleep, den finally we reached to VCH...... The place looks really really old and antique from the outside.... but go inside, wah, d breee of d air con.... shoooo nice!(i dun have air con at home, datz wy like so enthusiastic abt air cons =P)... den we unload d percussions and got ready outside the hall...... and at 11.00, we all were in d hall, den we all set up out instruments.... and got up stage! woohoo! shooo niceeee!!!!! den we all started playing Tales Of The Sea 1st...... and it surrounded d whole hall, d sound i mean.... hehe..... den after dat we played kyklades...... it was suppose to be a dance piece and d pple hu listen to it muz have a feeling of dancing.... but my euphonium instructor said he didn't have d feeling for dancing wen he listen, so my conductor made afew adjustments..... but by den he left oleady..... but our other conductor i cld see was dancing at d upper half of d audience sitting place(dunno wat dey call it =P) hehe...... i was very confident dat if dat was the actual SYF itself, we all wld have got gold oleady..... hahaha........ anywayz, after all dat practice.... it was time we "Balik kampong.... O O O balik kampong!!!"... hahaha.... we all packed our cases and get out of d hall...... hehe..... den we all got onto our busses and head straight home..... i was sleeping in d bus all d way manz... hahaha....... ZZZzzZZZZZZzzzzZzZzz....... den finally reached school, and i remembered i had SC meeting, with d teacher summore...... den i rushed to d hall, but half way there, sum of d SCs are out oleady, so I juz went back home since everyting was done... haiz....... so i went home, reached home, went straight to bed, cannot tahan manz..... den woke up around 7+ liddat...... den go bathe..... den go study...... do hw.... den finally go read Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix.... den i reached page 40 and ended d 2nd chpter and go to bed........ =D datz my day yesterday... U all asleep yet? hahaha, tot so..... YO! WAKE UP MANZ!!!! =P Okiez..... Later i tok abt my day 2day kz..... =D *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!

OK..... 2day d 2nd of july, 12 more to go...haiz..... Anywayz, watz up to all of u reading dis, having fun? or simply reading dis infront of ur com, staring at d words.... juz waiting for sum juicy news, haha..... hey stap out of it, u all look like zombies liddat sia...... =P anywayz, hmmmm, bad intro huh? =P well, ok fine fine, 2day erm, in d morning, cldn't really wake up, i was like feeling abit off stable(unstable)..... but finally i juz took out all my strength juz to walk over to d toilet( was very tired k......hmphr~)..... okiez, wen i got to school, i was like feel like sleeping b4 d flag raising in d canteen, yawning here and there.... haiz...... den my 1st 4 periods were spent in the AVA room, air con summore, wah, really feel like sleeping u noe....=P.. d environment, argh, cannot help it, on eng lesson, i closed my eyes for a while, d teacher ask me stand up...... and datz not even 5 seconds i close my eyes...... anywayz, after dat got maths, luckily i woke up oleady for maths..... and d topic to me was quite ok la, itz abt trigonometry or sumting liddat la ar...... i managed to do all d questions, hehe.... =D.... den after maths, we all went for recess, den i go to canteen buy sum food...... hungry u noe...... den after eat, go back class...... den it was accounts, haizzzzz...... i was like, "har?! accounts ar?! haizzzzzz"...... den during accounts period, i was making alot of noise with d teacher, hahaha.... den my fren fed up, go shout at me, =P den i keep quiet..... hahaha.... =X....sikit peh maluuuu....... okiez, after accounts, we all went down again to d AVA room for our CME.... it was quite boring seh...... juz go down, den tok here tok there and of cuz we learn sumting, abt civic and moral education...... bLuEEEEk!, okiez.... den den den after dat, d malays go to d malay class and d teacher didn't come "yay!!!!!!!!!!! woooohooooo!!!!!" den sum pple sit on tables, some pple listen disc man and all, shiok manz..... den at last got teacher come in.... so, wat to do, all so guai ar, read book and all, hahaha..... wen no teacher all pai kia sia.....got teacher all so guai..... wow! wat can u say, d malays have a tendancy to adapt quickly.... =P.... den everyone do their own work........ after dat we go home........and here i am.... sitting in front of d com like u all wld be, and reading dis...... anywayz, i tink i wun update it daily anymore, maybe weekly or monthly, cuz my com is migrating out of my room soon, so... yar..... really sorry guyz..... anywayz tml i going to VCH and get to skip class!!!!!!!!! yea! datz d way manz..... woohoo....=P and everyting is focused on timing timing timing....... i have to go out of class at 9.45 sharp and go to music room as fast as i can, dat wun be a problem cuz i can run, hopefully, den wen go into music room, get my eupho case down and hopefully up d bus..... dennnnnn.... i'll sleep for 30 mins(good enough liaoz....) den wen reach there, i'll feel refreshed.... yay! hehe.... i'll hopefully reach there at 10.45.... den get ready everyting, help d percussions unload their instruments.... and we are ready to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wooohoooo!!!! I am really looking forward to d rehersal, hmmm, wat will happen if i blast there ar =P, hahaha...... anywayz, signing out now, bybyez guyz!!!!! for d clarinets tml, "Dun freak, Dun SQUEAK!" =P..... take care guyz! ;) *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!*

OKiez.... sorry for not updating my journal dat often.... really got alot of tings..... anywayz, 2day was ok as usual, d investiture had 2 be postponed to 14 of July instead of having it 2day, and we have 2 change d numbers on the banner..... well, aniting is possible u noe.... hehe...... anywayz, 2day had a change in time table.... and itz like quite boring ar d time table, hehe, for d fact dat every tuesday i'll be having extended maths lessons!!(haiz...) den after dat have 2 rush for band summore...... haha, tuesday will be d most tiring day........ den dis thursday i going to Vicoria concert hall for rehersal for Syf........ wow! hehe.... i heard itz a big place... den got warm up room and all... so fun!!!.... erm, noting to tok abt really..... i'll see wat i have 2 say next time kz.....

OKIEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 24th of June~!~....... In the morning..... Went to school at abt 8AM..... Cuz i was called down to do some work for the teachers..... And wen i reached school, they were waiting outside, at the taking temperature station there(u noe where rite, yar there)...... Den dey say everyone had to come by 8.30... and i looked at the time, i say to myself(wy didn't i stay in bed for even a couple of mins more?).... den me and justina juz talked and talked....... den alot of d other started to come...... den by 8.30, even the teacher wasn't there yet, so the pple hu weren't there yet were kinda excuse from being late....... den wen everyone came oleady, and the teacher came and all was on plan...... we all went into the staff room..... we had to clear up the staff room for the teachers, since most of us are SCs, our work was to do dat also.... so we juz did our job..... I had to clear dis whole cabinet which was like very dusty, luckily d teachers provided face masks(or else i wld be oleady sneezing all d way manz, hahaha).... anywayz, i did d top shelves 1st den move down shelves at a time...... d top shelf was d worst........ cuz it was like d most dustiest place, and again, luckily there were face masks.... hehe, den i clear clear clear everyting.... top to bottom.... finally i was done.... den i had to carry some of d tings to d teachers lounge(trust me, it was VERY cosy ok..... Itz like i nv want to get out of dat room, hehe).... after dat, we moved the teachers table, here and there the tables went, and we moved d cabinet also...... den move move move...... finall, everyting, DONE! yay! hahaha....... den we all were given break at 12-1pm....... and so we went to tmart for lunch, since i was low in budget, i went to d food court..... den got myself "due prata kosong!".... den eat eat eat.... by d time i finished eating, guess wat it was 12.30 oleady... den we all decided to go back to school and finished aniting we haven't finished........ den wen we come back, d teachers weree like looking for work for us... haha, i was looking to d work part, hahaha..... owh yar, b4 dat i got paper cut.... haha, itz like still stinging my finger now..=P

OKiez, 2day..... in the morning, had to go for band com meeting which i tot was onli half an hour or so....... but den, it was 2 HOURS LONG AR....... den d teacher keep telling us abt the problem d band faced last 2 years....... Anywayz, yar, I am the Quarter Master, itz quite d "leceh" seh...... den d teacher were going to d positions...... den he purposely skipped d quarter master's job 1st cuz he say, he wanna go thru d easy job 1st, all d paper work...... den finally, come to Quarter Master.... he say itz d hardest job(dat is like so comforting....YAR RITE!).... itz like d software of the whole commitee.... and i was like, "hai~ mati2, tentu mati"....... den after d meeting, we all had a sumsort of a break, den we went to tmart go get breakfast... after getting our breakfast, we go back school, we go eat our breakfast, den i go to music room and wat i normally do ar, which is warm up in the gallery...... den after dat i went down for sectionals without my instrument as i lend my instrument to my junior...... den i juz buzz buzz buzzzzzz...... hahaha,...... after d sectionals, i was given back my eupho cuz d junior prac finished...

I've been very d busy d pass few weeks seh.... erm, so i am really sori if i nv update it..... me beary d tired okiezzzzz..... =P..... haha, but i'll still live..... I LOVE U YATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okiez.... continuing fridays post....... hmmmmmmmmmm........... after doing d stands and all... I went back down and joined d rest of d camp...... den we had to do a "amazing race" onli dat itz in the school la.... haha.... we were like runnning here runnning there..... and d best part was dat we were tied to each other.. =X..... den at d 7th clue, d galz had 2 go in the toilet for d clue, d guyz had an idea and went to chk d sink..... BUT, d ex-co caught us and we had 2 do four-feet..... haha, wen d galz went out, we sang d "ABC" song.... haha, loud and clear.... (WOW!) haha...... den we run here run there, still no 7th clue, den at last we looked for the "helper", den she say we were sabotaged(OH NO!)....... luckily we found d other clues 1st.. haha.... ok.... after the "hunt game" we all were called back outside e SC room, and we had 2 get our stuff to d classroom which we slept in..... after dat me and my fren go to d pit and started the fire(YAY!!!!) it was very fun u noe, i made all sorts of jokes, and dey were like laughing here and there...... den d fire also funny, keep dying and getting back alive, den sumtimes wen we wanna put d "live" back on, it juz get back on itself.... but making the fire was very very fun.... hahaha...... den as d night covers d day, d guys played soccer on the basketball court..... den we all were like bbq-ing the food.... at d guys side, the hotdog were d best..... (of cuz rite, guyz are like d best... =P *Jkkkk*) at d galz side, d chciken was MAGNIFICENT!(HEY! IT IS OK! =D)...... den after all dat, me and my fren go one corner, lax lax.... and we juz tok tok tok........ den dey all say at 10pm have 2 go to d hall for dancing(i didn't really noe how 2 dance...=P) haha, well, den @10pm.... i went to d hall, and guess wat, IT WAS VERY HOT!..... anywayz, after d dancing and all, i was very exhausted(i was OK.....=P) but they say unofficial lights off at 1am and official one was at 3 am.... so after d dance, we all were like stuffy manz... haha......we all went back to our classes to change our clothes for CLEEp..... but some didn't want to sleeep yet, so i followed dem back to d canteen..... and so, we tok tok tok tok..... after dat we were like berry tired, den decided to go sleep... wen i got into my room, most of dem sleeping oleady..... so i straight away went to sleep...... ok, here's d difference.... instead of sleeping at one spot..... itz like, i was sleeping at 4 different spots altogether...... 1stly, i slept on the table, which was like comfor-table(hahahaha) at 1st, but it was hot, so i went down to d floor and d fan was directly above me, den i was like (ok, dis is good)......... den after i slept for a while liddat.... i woke up, cuz i was freezing cold, and guess where i went....UP THE TABLE, but i was uncomfortable again, so i went down AGAIN...... and i was at d same spot.... den guess where i went, BELOW the table cuz i tot it wld block d wind..... but it was like d same..... so i juz "tahan" in there la.... den my fren woke up, see my leg, went back 2 sleep, cuz my legs were sticking out from the table.... haha... finally sumone go and lower down the power of the fan.... and i was ok again..... hahahaha...... den morning came(finally!) haha, i was very ready for d day to start... =P

OKIEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YO!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha, so long never update, REALLY SORII!!!! hahaha..... ok...... anywayz.....
For 18th of June.... I woke at 7 am..... den mgz my darling..... den i was off.... gone to school, i always have my thermometer and pen in my pocket, haha...... den wen i reach school, i had 2 take my temperature..... den go meet up with my frenz..... den we were like "eh, i dun feel like going to dis camp u noe...." den blah blah blah den we had to go meet up outside the SC room...... den we had 2 be divided into colour groups...... i was not paritular abt the groups, but i wanted to be in the same groups with my frenz....... den my frenz were put in the 1st groups and i was like..... "will i be happy with my groups...." then finally, i was in the last group which was brown...... den I sat in my groups.... there were 4 girls and 3 boys..... there was me(taufiq!!!!) and benjamin and another guy(forgot d name,sorry!!!!!!)... den there was Gladys, Mellissa and Christie and another girl(forgot d name too, sorriiii!!!!)..... anywayz, at 1st we had to design an egg and keep it till d next day... den after designing d egg, we tink of a group name...(cuz d name "brown" itself is not creative enough) so we created, "X-Kidz!" den after dat........*wat did we do ar?* Owh yar, we go play game....*rite?* yar! we did, erm..... we played a game which i dunno wat d name is,wait, i remembered it back, itz name is WHACKO!. Itz like we have 2 call other pples name 1st b4 getting whacked by d person standing in the middle.... i onli get once in the middle(Phew~) haha....... anywayz, after dat game.... den we played musical chairs i tink, yar we did..... den i was surviving all d way till d last 3.... den i was eleminated... haha, and guess wat, d last 2 have 2 propose 2 each other... hahahaha.... den christie had 2 propose to zheng hui, but she dowan..... =X..... so she have to perform other four-feet...... anywayz, after d musical chairs, we had to go do our group banner(YAY!!!!)..... haha, den we went in front of the council room(datz d onli place where we go and meet actually)... I drew the letter "Z" (cuz our group name had a "z" in it)..... But the prob is dat, after i drew it oleady, i wanted to draw a lightning in the middle, but i dunno how to....... so i juz give my plain "Z".... den after dat, d rest did their part...... and wen everyone done their letterz.... we place it below d banner... den we started outlining it...... but i cannot finish it as i had band at dat time.... so sad........ den i had band prac all d way till 3pm, but i had 2 do alot of tings in band, like counting d spoilt stands...(hai~) den wen i see d other SCs having fun at d basketball court, i was like "can i be excused? i got a camp to go to u noe...." but i didn't tink of dat and juz went on with d counting of stands...... and den finally i was done.... 84 stands..... some half, some full.... but i managed to count all of dem, haha (yay!) i mean, not onli me la of cuz, onli me and 2 more other "helpful" guyz...... hmmmm...... I tink i'll juz continue tml kz? really sowieeeee..... me kindaaaaa cleepy now also.... tml i tell u all abt d BBQ, and how i slept on d nite, hahaha...... cya guyz! to be continued......... *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!*

hmmmmmmmmm........... 2day....... 17th of June.... noting much happen 2day(sorry if my journal for 2day is very short)...... I dun really have aniting to say(OH MANZ!) Juz now wen i finished my maths lesson, it was like raining very heavily, and i was like drenched and shivering wen i reached home, haha, i even had 2 put my legs in warm water to warm me up, cuz basically, I can't stand coldness, i'll simply freeze my body out wen i am sumwhere cold.... =P erm, tml i got SC camp..... till 19th of June.... so i dun tink i can update d web(haizzzzz).... anywayz, yar, go SC camp.... which means i can't contact her the whole day(ARGH!!! I AM GOING TO MISS HER VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!) well, i haven even packed my bags(still relaxing and resting as always =P) OWH YAR! 2day rite, i helped my mom with her cooking! wow! cuz i wasn't doing aniting, so i juz helped her.... haiz... noting much happend 2day(BORING!) it was raining it in the afternoon and clear in the evening, funny how the weather works.... haha..... anywayz, noting much to write now..... but i'll have alot of tings to say(hopefully) after d SC camp, haha.... till den, keep sharp, move fast, stay alert! "Moving and a speed of lightning, Breaking the sound barrier producing Thunder" *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!*

ok..... 16th of June..... Hmmmmmm.... One of d most EMBARRASING days of my school days(ARGH!!!)... If i knew dis wld happen, i wld have dropped bombs at home b4 coming to school manz.... =P Anywayz, 2day, woke up as usual, noting much happend.... went to band... den during sectionals, it started, my stomach started to make me feel d urge to go to d gents... i started to walk around, walk here walk there, even my partner was like O.O.... haha... den finally, i had d last urge to go to d gents..... den i go there...... BUT IT WUN COME OUT!...... so i went back 2 my sectionals.... but i felt worse, den summore it was break time, i was hungry too.... so i bought my food and go eat(while resisting d pain in my stomach) finally, i finished eating, and guess wat, i felt more den worse, so i juz hold onnnnn.... till i can't take it anymore... which was in d 4th movement... i quickly ran out d door and head straight for d gents... d moment i reached d toilet, i felt oting at all..... i was like so frustrated(URGH!!!!) den i went back to d music room... told my fren abt it, and he started abt dis digestion ting.... makes me feel like letting it out on him manz, haha... anywayz, i had 2 stayback in d store room looking for d BRUKNER piece which i stilll can't find since juz now...(sigh~) surely die wan, wednesday no brukner, mrs. chua is goin to hunt us down manz... haha... anywaz, after band, went home(like i always do =D) den go pray den dunno do wat... haha.... Hm, other den d stomach ache, 2day was quite okiez.... hehe.... =D well, i will always be happy, put a positive thought 2 a positive mind and u will get positivity! (although sumtimes itz OK to have abit sad or angry side, hehe) =D cya guyz! tankz for reading me journal for 2day, i'll try 2 update it everyday.... so CHK IT OUT EVERYDAY! =P byezzzzzzz *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!*

eloooooooooooooz! Yo! hehe, hm..... 2day d 15 of June..... Quite an OK day ar onli dat i was quite tired in the afternoon(Hey, I slept all d way till 4PM ok)... Anywayz, in the morning, had my Clar lessons for half an hour(had to got to Plaza Singapura, quite far from my home) den wen it ended i got on a train to go home.... i was like so tired, my eyes were like very tightly shut..... but i manage to open my eyes to mgz sumone....;) den i reached home, well, wen i reached home, i went to go EAT and straight to bed...... I woke up at 4.50 and washed my face...... den i followed my frenz to go buy food..... and i went to buy my oen food too of cuz...... den after dat i go home, eat eat eat, den now here i am, on front of e com.... =P anywayz, 2day was like a typical day.... Hmmmmmm, I tink i have not completed my journal for yesterday as I have LOTZ to say, hehe...=P anywayz, i was saying dat i went to the stadium to run...... and yes, i did.... but before dat I went to the mosque to pray, and after praying, i saw her, d onli person hu made me happy all d time, there she was, in her reliqous class uniform, but she was with her fren, and she didn't want her fren to noe abt us so she juz go straight to her class, well, of cuz i understand wat she was going thru ;)..... Anywayz, i went to d stadium, den itz like there weren't dat much pple around, so i juz ran afew rounds around d stadium..... I was running with my fren(hu was in a soccer CCA) around d stadium..... and oleady half way thru, he tell me he wanna walk, i was like ready to even sprint off at d end, and he wanted to walk*hai~* but i didn't tell him 2 walk, i urge him on... but at last he cldn't take it and finally walked while i finished it off with Zuuuuuuuupz speed...... den after run run run, i go do some pull-ups(hey, i am like very skinny =P of cuz i got muscles to pull me up...rite?).... after dat it started raining*URGH!!!* but i kinda like to play in the rain, hehe..... den....................... I saw her again!!!!!! hehe... cannot miss wan.... =P.... after dat i go to mosque go pray, den go to me fren house...... for quite sumtime ar, den i went home...... and dat was my day yesterday(14th of June, Note, ONE MORE MONTH!!!).... well, 2day(15th of June) later i going to my grandmothers house for a "fathers day celebration" den dunno do wat ar, hehe, den go home..... till later den.... signing off..... *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!*

Hmmmmmm, 2day, 14th of June.... I start to realise my life wasn't so bad, hey in life theres d ups and downs rite..... hehe, anywayz.... 2day i woke up at 9.55am.... den i went to bathe and went to get ready to go to school(not cuz of aniting, juz to take a SC camp form).... den after i got ready i went to school, den i forgot my thermometer, i was like, "can i juz dun take my temperature *cuz i was juz there to take a piece of paper and get out of there* " den i had 2 use dat ear thermometer, i really didn't see d person changing d plasic cover which is used 2 put in d ear, but i was like, "aniting lahhhhh...." den my temperature was 36.6'.....
so, yar, i went to d SC room, den i looked at d "window-of-the-door" and didn't see anyone at 1st.... but i saw legs sticking out at d end of d room, so i decided to knock, den d president, Justina, opened d door and asked my to go in, and of cuz, i went in, den she gave me d form and i tot dat was all, but i had 2 copy everyting which was on the board, den i tot to myself, wy didn't dey juz include dem in d form as well, i didn't dare to ask, so i juz copy down everyting.... while i was copying, one of d other SC came in and talked to Justina and i was like, abit "busybody" to hear, den i heard dem toking, and justina had 2 stay till 1.00.... well anywayz, i finished copying all of dem *quite long leh* den i got out of d room.....
den i went home *home sweet home,yay!* hehe, den i mgz sumone special *u noe hu u r....;)* den i went to get my fOOOOOOOOOD..... hehe, i was hungry ok.....=P den i eat, *ngap ngap ngap*.... den i finish den i drink water *glup glup glup* ...... den i go toitoi *prooot prooot prooooot* hahahaha... dis is like quite dead rite, anywayz, erm, hey, itz jz 2.40pm, wat u expect, i am onli half way thru d day seh..... Later i will be going out with my frenz, 1stly i go to TM go pay my school fees den i go to Tamp Stadium to run run run(my fav ting to do) hehe.... hm..... i'll keep dis updated as frequently as i can kz.... so juz chk it out, i always got alot to say..... haha, till later den, Have a good day! *ZuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupZ!*

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2day was like d ever worst day...... hai..... wish i cld cry..... I was like looking for time all d time, i didn't have mood to do aniting basically..... In band, i was like, sitting there d whole time doing noting..... like waiting for d ceiling to drop..... den after band, i had 2 rush down to d classroom block for d SC meeting.... which was quite long.... it was basically to brief d new SCs abt d working of d SC ar, i was like not concerntrating dat much top wat d president was saying.... i juz filled in my particulars and hand dem up...... and i am suppose to buy a black formal shoe and a long sleeved white shirt which i dunno where to get one... erm.... den dey say got 4 events going 2 happen, 1) SC investiture 2) meet d parent session 3)forgotten wat 4) forgoten wat also......den i went to d mosque with my frenz...... after d prayers, i broke down and cried..... i was feeling so down..... luckily my fren was there to comfort me..... den i went back 2 band..... dey were all having sectionals.... but my section in particular wasn't really practicing, onli my sectional leader was...... den i "terpaksa" join d other sections for my sectionals..... den after band, went home, with tired legs cause yesterday i was like "beaten up" quite badly during soccer..... well, till d end of d day, dis is fiqz signing off...... -Fiqz-

Okiez, here's my results for my Mid Year (haizzz....)

Maths: 46.6(D7)
English: 55.8(5)
Malay: 66.0(3)
Science(phy,chem): 77.6(1)
Combined Humans: 34.1(U)
Principles Of Accounts: 43.5(U)

Total: 323.6/600
Percentage: 53.9
Class Position: 26/41
Results: Passed
Attendance: 88/88
Conduct: Excellent
Some of my teachers remarks: Taufiq is an obedient student who possesses leadership qualities. He must learn to balance his work and continue on his weaker subjects.

Tell me itz like dis is d worst of my exams....

Yeah, love me
Or hate me
This who I am
Look at the past at times
I wish that I was born again
So I can rectify mistakes
And my wrong doings
Attempts on minimizing my sins
Before my story ends.......

Erm.... itz almost 12Am now.... and i am still not sleeping(Oh no!) well, actually i dun feel sleepy yet though..... erm, maybe i am juz abit blur at things nowadays, or maybe not abit, i am VERY blur abt sum things nowadays....... alot of "hars" "watz" and "HAR!?"..... manz, i am like dis blur guy again, wish i was in sec 2, wen my days were very grand(though dey weren't).... Well, 2day was like a disaster for me, in soccer, i fell down and injured myself alot, den at home, got scolding from my dad for bad results(hu'z dad wun scold, I am counted lucky 2 get to go online cuz he'z asleep,) Den i juz dunno wat else is going to happen, sumtimes, i try 2 smile, yet my face wun budge, tears start to drip out, sadness falls in....... and i ask myself wy i can't smile...... for how long have i been very happy and yet still have 2 face d sadness which is so new to me, wat mistakes did i do, i tell myself to cheer up, but itz juz no use as i keep shouting "watz d use" Now, every part of myself is like, gone..... hopefully sumting cheers me up sooner or later...... and hopefully tml will be a better day for me...... anywayz, signing out now at 12.10am..... nitez 2 all.......

Hm.... 2day, 12 of June 2003, quite boring i shld say... not quite exciting..YET! hehe, cuz i wld be going to d field in a couple of mins to go play soccer! yay! with some of my frenz in esss, dey called and asked for a right-winger, and i thought, "Hey! datz me!" hehe, den i accepted it, anyone interested in watching, juz sms me and ask me, I'll be at d field which is close to my primary school.... Anywayz, school juz now was okok, noting much happend, I had my Maths lessons and we went thru d mid year paper answers..... was quite sleepy wen i woke up juz now, and i was like trying to go back 2 bed, but my mom is like a natural alarm clock.... haha *jk*.... erm, OK den, Gtg now, I'll be back later with my results kaez? okiez, cya, byezzzzzz;) *Running at a speed of lightning, breaking d sound barrier making thunder.......------->ZuuuuupZ!*

OK, erm, dis is like me 1st time doing such journals... haha, oh well, anywayz, erm, I am fiqz, yar, me, D freaking clarinetist and d blasting euphonist.... haha ok, abit abt meself, Juz a guy hu can be either 100% blur abt sumting or juz d complete reverse.... Ermmmmm, I like sports, especially soccer, I play at d right part of d field(cuz i am a Right-Winger, datz wy i am always right*perasan lak aku ni* haha) anywayz, yar, currently i juz found out dis sumsort of a "gift" or skill i had in soccer(and music too!!!)..... And dis "power" i had was like kinda stupid at 1st to me....(hu believes in powers and all dat right, cumon dose are onli like in cartoons? like justice league and dose type of cartoons...) Anywayz, wen i started playing soccer in d field, i was very confused of which position to play, wat to do, wen to do it, but all i knew, was how to do it... den i juz gambled(not literally) and chose d right winger(as it sounded kinda relaxing position)... den i played, 1st few games was not d best(i even felt like giving up soccer) but den after my NAPHA test dat year, found out my ability to spurt out a quick burst of speed, datz wen i realise dat i was made for dat position.... *to be continued, cuz gtg now...* tankz for visiting!!!! =P