Transit Hotel

What or how does it feel to be just a temporary salvation for someone, or many people out there. How does it feel to actually be THE destination for someone without them having to leave. I wouldn't know. Cause I'm just a transit hotel. They come, they stay for a while, get comfortable, and just when you think it's gonna be forever, it's not, and you're just left behind. Unwanted. With an empty room.

Life without struggles, is like a camera with no pictures

Everyday of our lives we tend to face challenge. Some more manageable than others, and there are those that pushes you off balance.

If you would imagine your life, being a video camera and your eyes be the lens.You could see how sometimes there are days where life is a breeze, mundane and uninteresting. The pictures too, will develop into a plain image. However, if something bizarre happens, something you never expected. Imagine your sketchbook filled with page after page of colourful striking images.

But as we all know, life cannot be so colourful all the time. It takes a little black to make the red stand out.It takes a little bitterness to make the sweet taste a little sweeter. And it takes some pain, to appreciate the experience.

This is just me, reminding myself each and every single day, that no matter how dark and disappointing that day could be, things will get better. It all starts, with a smile. =]

Tough times don't last, tough people do

As we nose dive into this new year, let us remember the ups and downs of last year. To be honest, last year sucked. It sucked big time. And no, not being a pessimist here but, really tho. Despite sucking so hard, it was a year filled with change. A year that is constantly changing, the people I meet, the people I work with, the people I get close to, the people who left me. On hindsight, it was probably one of the biggest whirlwind of a year I've ever had. So instead of focusing on the negatives, I'll just list some of the things I'm grateful for in 2013.

1) Getting a full time job as an AED
     This is probably one of the things that I was so excited for. All those countless emails I've sent to those at MOE recruitment. There was actually a time where I actually just stopped worrying cause I gave up, I didn't hear from them for so long I guess there's no point hoping anymore. Then that phone call came and yup, I got the job.

2) Being a band instructor
     Ever since I joined band back in secondary 2, I've always loved learning and teaching music/instruments to people. I guess it's the joy of seeing people being able to make music and share the love of music. Being a band instructor opened up my eyes to a world full of hope and love. Up till now I miss teaching them, seeing their faces light up as I walked into class. But I'm sure they're in safe hands. I will try to make time to come back just to see them. And also there's the band that has become my family from my 1 year teaching there. I really wish to see them again soon.

Mr Taufiq can I please go to the toilet?

As one student said to me, gripping his crotch area in a sense of urgency.

Me: My dear, can you walk?

Student: Yes cher, why leh?

Me: You asked if you can go to the toilet, I was wondering what would restrict you from going.

Student: Eh I can walk la cher, so can go ar?

Me: You can, but doesn't mean I allow you to go.

Student: But cher urgent!

Me: Ask me properly first

Student: Cher, MAY I PLEASE go to the toilet? *innocent face*

Me: Yes you m...*student rushes off to the toilet*


Honestly if you asked me what I wanted to do with my life when I had just graduated from poly, I'd just give you blank stare and give you the most uninspired answer ever, "don't know leh, work lor..."
And if you were to go into specifics on where to work, I'll just probably ignore you.

But I knew deep inside, I wanted to nurture people. So step one was to be a medic in NS. Nurturing? Not exactly. But I had my opportunities and I enjoyed it. Step two join a camp company that's all about leadership. I have to admit, I picked up a whole lot of stuff during my time as a camp facilitator, be it the good things and the bad. Step three, work with students who are passionate(or semi-passionate, or, ok, bo-chap) about band. And through all these experiences, I believe I am ready for my next step. Will it be my final step? Honestly I have no clue. But what I do know, is that every step, is a stepping stone towards a greater sense of satisfaction in nurturing. I really hope to touch even more lives and improve myself even further. =]

In other news, I've finally registered for bike license. I'm giving myself 3 months to pass my tests and get myself a bike by the 4th month. Aiming for that Yamaha FZ16. Oh and I've stopped bothering about things that has to do with the matters of the heart. It's tiring, draining, and just stupid. Will be focusing my energy on the friends and close friends that I have now, pumping in lots of positivity and spreading more joy to the world.

Till the next time, Mr Taufiq signing off...

Bai Too Faur, Ek-Oh Too Phaive

By far the hardest year in my whole life...
More downs than ups...
There's a particular down that's like a punch to my gut, will talk about that on my other blog...
This blog is to focus on the positive, so here we go...

Having given the chance to teach band, has to be one of the greatest feeling I've ever gotten...
Also, despite this point being in the negative point eventually, but initially it was my biggest and strongest positive point ever in my life...
Long story short, I met the most amazing friend ever, and I screwed that up making her leave me. End of story.

And this year has been tough, mentally, physically and emotionally...
The stress of being this old and not have a stable job yet is really alarming...
And I'm not really that physically fit as I thought I was, the proof is in my failures for IPPT...
And emotionally I'm just a wreck...

Gosh why is this sounding so down...
OK. Honestly though, having the chance to teach the students that I got, I feel blessed...
They are not just my students, but they are like family to me...
I learn alot from them as did they from me...
And seeing them improve so much since the first time I saw them, simply amazing...

But I'm not gonna go down memory lane today. Why?
Cause today is not yet the day...
So instead, I'll say how much Pacific Rim is an awesome movie.
Seriously, those of you who haven't watched it yet, GO WATCH IT.
You can watch Despicable Me 2 after watching Pacific Rim.(I watched both already, and Pacific Rim is way more awesome)

Alrighty then, I've got nothing much to say...
Day 4 of fasting done, tomorrow is Day 5 and that makes it 26 more days to go.
Oh and I had a very bad stomachache this morning, didn't know if I was able to last, but I DID! Yay! =]

Okok I'll sign off now...

After listening to Justin Timberlake's Mirrors, all I can think of now is "Yesterday's history, Tomorrow's a Mystery, Today's a gift that's why it's called the present..."

Take care Y'all.

Hello June, Goodbye June.

If you could see me now, June
May has passed, now you're here to stay
For this brief moment we share this moment together
That tear drop will never stop flowing it
But for that moment, nothing else mattered

You were the greatest
Oh that smile, that smirk
Those accidental dimples, as you told me
Every crevice shows a story, every freckle another memory
I still remembered your touch, June

Oh gosh I sound like some obsessed lunatic
Truth is, moving on ain't a piece of cake
Not even close to the one I will not be having next month

You were always engrossed in a world of artists and stars
I don't mind it at all, heck I'm a fan of some bands myself
But when you push away those people who are real, and would rather accept those who aren't
It breaks me

June why must you be the month of solemness and sadness
June why do you have to be so quiet all the time
June... June.. June
Love hate relationships aren't healthy, but it's better than not feeling anything ever again...

June, your exit was marvelous, carefully planned and executed flawlessly
How could I be so dumb to see how little I meant to you
As compared to the exponentially large amount of care I had for you
You disappoint me June
You really did
But you're nothing but a month of nothing more than 30 days

It saddens me that we meet in such circumstances
You were all I looked forward to
Every morning, you're all I think of
It used to bring joy to my life
So why now June
You're so empty now
Meaningless
Why do you do this to me?
Haven't you had your fun yet?
Don't you know when enough is enough?

But it's okay
It's gonna be just 30 days
Then it will be July
Half the year just flew past me in a flash
And soon it's gonna be good bye June once more...

Of friends, of hearts

You're still on my mind...

I have longed forgotten, when I've had this sickness...
The constant coughing, the croaking of my voice...
At times it just gets so unbearable...
Despite all this, I still continue my job to teach...

To be honest, I have no idea what plague has fallen over me...
Might be lung disease, throat cancer, or BOTH!
And I've been having phlegm in my lungs since 2 months ago and it's not even recovering...
Did I visit a doctor you might ask?
Yes.
I did.
Was given lots of medication, including an asthma pump.
I took the medication, especially the anti biotic, but somehow I kept forgetting to take it and eventually stopped taking as I felt better...
Oh dear me.
How dumb was I.

So now I'm basically suffering worse as the plague in me has over powered the antibiotics...
Every morning I wake up to what feels like a bucket full of phlegm.
Talk about sounding like a  broken record, I literally sound like one...

And yes yes, I will get myself checked out soon enough...
But I would like to throw you a philosophical question though...
If you were meant to die, but you didn't, then it just means you're not meant to die yet, no?
But if I were to die, at least I would like to die in a state of happiness and in the company of friends...

I hope there're people out there who I've made friends with and I've given the opportunity to change their lives for the better...
So as I am writing this, I've got no clue who else will be reading this, but Shay if you're reading this, don't worry, I'm alright, nothing to worry about okay? =]

And to the rest of my unknown audiences(if any), if you would like to be my friend, just drop a comment for this blog post and I'll answer as soon as possible.

Again, thank you all for your time, and don't forget, Carpe Diem. =]

Ciao!

Staring into the Abyss

Don't look back.

How can I, when everything I see reminds me of you?

Accomplishment

I would post a picture here but, there ain't a picture that I would love to use, so this would be picture-less post.

About 5 months back, I embarked on this crazy adventure.
Actually being able to do what I love as work.
The place? Balestier Hill Secondary School.
Oh I remember the first time I set foot in the school. Had to walk one whole round and find where the band room was.
And finally finding the band room, I felt lost, outcasted.
Having known and taught one band my whole life, this was actually happening.

I stood there in one corner, conscious of every move I made, every breath I take.
The only familiar face I had there was my conductor, Ms Dorean Tan.
Somehow I felt this stench of negativity from the band.
I just felt something must have been horribly wrong.

My first job that I had to do with the band, was actually with the percussion section.
I had to make them watch this DVD which was in Japanese on how to play percussion instruments.
Honestly I had no idea what kind of impression I was making.
So the first person I actually held an actual conversation with was Bryan.
Throughout the lesson I noticed some people got bored, and since I was new, I didn't want to push anyone's buttons.

I guess what I felt was that for the first few weeks I was there, I kinda felt this separation between students and instructors.
Just felt this chilly cold feeling.
And sorry to say, I'm just not used to a zero-social-zone-feeling.
So I slowly but surely made small talk with some of the students.

And slowly, more and more students got to know who I am and how I work.
Things weren't always smooth I would say, but it wasn't that bad too.

Neways, skipping to the SYF part of things.
I really got to see my students grow and learn to inculcate music into their lives.
They learn to appreciate the lessons taught to them.
And no matter how much they get lectured by their conductor, they never gave up.

Now after 5 months, 5 grueling months of hardwork, sweat and tears.
All of it, is paid off by getting that Certificate of Accomplishment.
To those who don't know, Certificate of Accomplishment is roughly equivalent to a Silver in SYF.
I'm proud of my students...
But more than anything, I'm proud of the improvement they have made over these 5 months...
No matter the results, they will always be an awesome band filled with awesome players to me...

Thank you for this opportunity to be apart of a family of interesting people.
Each and every single one of you contributed to it.
BHSS Band, lets rock the house for Splendours 2013.
This time I will be conducting you guys, so, let's make beautiful music k guys? =]

Pictures and paintings can be tainted and torn,
But music will never die, it will always live on...