So I am working 3 Reds games this weekend...and then another one on Tuesday. I somehow in a blind state of reality signed up for all my games in a row. I don't recall this being the case when I put ink to paper, but alas, TBS takes a special kind of crazy. Last night was long and ardous on my poor feet but only three more to go. Sistas making me laugh and wrestling near the grill and telling great stories helps the night go faster. The best part was when long-haired weird guy came to my register and started talking to me about bars and stuff...came BACK later to "write down the name of the bars I should go to" on a napkin and also gave me his phone number. Thanks Jon for making me feel hot in my concession stand outfit, a hat and sweat.
I miss my guy...a lot. I could never really say that though because I know its not his fault he's busy and working on getting done with school. Just...blah sometimes.
I haven't minded playing the single game for awhile now, in fact its quite refreshing. I like being on my own schedule doing my own thing for the most part. But, there are times I get REALLY lonely. I had a weird dream last night and woke up feeling thusly.
Ok, no more worrying about THAT.
Time to make some breakfast. I think Amanda and I may go to Target which is always dangerous. I have some sort of Target complex that forces me to buy things whenever I'm there
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Mmmm, Sticky Drama
I spent three years up to my eyeballs in drama. Sticky, mind-blowing, cry your eyes out drama and now there is...nothing. My life has sort of flat-lined. I've fallen into this rut of work, nap, dinner, tv, bed, work, nap...etc. I sleep and eat. And "work". I feel bored because I have nothing worth working towards, even my knitting has fallen to the wayside because those damn socks are frusterating beyond all sense of reason. I like the peace, but I get bored so easily. It was easier last summer because Nate pretty much lived with me so there was always a hilarious conversation to have or a restaurant we'd get lost trying to find. Now, everyone is working all the time and our schedules never line up in my house. It was just me last night. So quiet. I did manage to get groceries. But, I really need to find a project to throw myself in to that I can really enjoy. Who knows.
Need to get out of this funk!
Need to get out of this funk!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Meme, Meme, Meme, Meme...
Meme, meme, meme, meme....
Bored already and I've only been at work for 35 minutes. In that case, I shall pull out an old meme that happens to be one of my favorites. You should all do it too! Hooray!!!
The instructions: Enter your name and then “last I heard [she/he] was” into Google and see what happens:
Last I heard, she was still beholden to Abe and his financial assistance. (Me and my ridiculous trysts...)
Last I heard she was residing on the buffet at my sister and her wife's (If there is a buffet, you WILL find me residing there.)
Last I heard she was still working at the Wal-Mart service center. (I aspire to great things.)
Last I heard she was J'nette! *rolls eyes* (Ummm huh?)
last I heard she was in jail (Doing time bitches!)
last i heard she was dating a white man (Hmmm)
LAST I HEARD SHE WAS SLEEPING WITH ERIC AND JAMES AND WHO EVER HAD COKE FOR HER (WHOO HOO PAR-TAY GIRL!!!!)
Well that was fun. Home was normal...apparently my life is much more exciting when massive amounts of drama is involved...which is why the past few months of posts have been boring? Oh well, tis better to have no drama and write nothing I suppose. Trust me. If something ridiculous happens, you'll be the first to know.
No matter how much sleep I get, I am ALWAYS TIRED IN THE MORNING. I don't understand why that is. Even if I wake up myself!
I've been hiding from people. Which is sad, I'm not doing it intentionally...just happens when you're burnt out from the summer.
Bored already and I've only been at work for 35 minutes. In that case, I shall pull out an old meme that happens to be one of my favorites. You should all do it too! Hooray!!!
The instructions: Enter your name and then “last I heard [she/he] was” into Google and see what happens:
Last I heard, she was still beholden to Abe and his financial assistance. (Me and my ridiculous trysts...)
Last I heard she was residing on the buffet at my sister and her wife's (If there is a buffet, you WILL find me residing there.)
Last I heard she was still working at the Wal-Mart service center. (I aspire to great things.)
Last I heard she was J'nette! *rolls eyes* (Ummm huh?)
last I heard she was in jail (Doing time bitches!)
last i heard she was dating a white man (Hmmm)
LAST I HEARD SHE WAS SLEEPING WITH ERIC AND JAMES AND WHO EVER HAD COKE FOR HER (WHOO HOO PAR-TAY GIRL!!!!)
Well that was fun. Home was normal...apparently my life is much more exciting when massive amounts of drama is involved...which is why the past few months of posts have been boring? Oh well, tis better to have no drama and write nothing I suppose. Trust me. If something ridiculous happens, you'll be the first to know.
No matter how much sleep I get, I am ALWAYS TIRED IN THE MORNING. I don't understand why that is. Even if I wake up myself!
I've been hiding from people. Which is sad, I'm not doing it intentionally...just happens when you're burnt out from the summer.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
All Aboard the Hades Express!
Went out with "Katie", Z, Charlie and Jon last night...good times had by all I believe. Quaker Steak never stops being AMAZING.
Once again spending the summer sitting in the band office. It never ends...
I have been completely and totally uninspired to type anything of substance the past few weeks...hopefully as I settle into a summer routine, I will be writing quite a bit more.
Some things in life just...meh. I wish things could work out for once...
Once again spending the summer sitting in the band office. It never ends...
I have been completely and totally uninspired to type anything of substance the past few weeks...hopefully as I settle into a summer routine, I will be writing quite a bit more.
Some things in life just...meh. I wish things could work out for once...
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Things
*Las Vegas was one of the CRAZIEST vacations I've ever been on*Said vacation left me miserably broke*Grant's wedding was so beautiful and I danced like a crazy-person*There is mango stuck in my straw
Things I do not know:
*Why I have no energy to even post anymore*Why I went to bed at 8:30 PM last night*When I will get around to cleaning my room*Why mango is stuck in my straw
At work watching the world go by.
Things I do not know:
*Why I have no energy to even post anymore*Why I went to bed at 8:30 PM last night*When I will get around to cleaning my room*Why mango is stuck in my straw
At work watching the world go by.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
End of the School Year Post
I decided to do my usual end of the school year post by pulling chunks out of my favorite posts...I think these quotes from myself do it justice...sometimes I actually say something intelligent. So without further ado, everything I learned this year...
"I refuse to apologize for who I am or how much I've changed. I love myself and as long as I'm happy, I'm not sure much else matters. I love my friends, as much as band drives me insane, I love the family it has brought me, I love my major and most importantly I love being alive and even if some don't agree with my thought patterns or methods that have brought me to this place, just be happy that I am in love with life. So no apologies."
"There are some friendships that no matter how screwed up they are or how many horrible fights you have, or how much you go through, it will never die just...because. There is no answer...but you couldn't find more affection and love between two more screwed up, mentally insane, difficult, stubborn, and bitter people as him and I. Despite it all, I'm lucky to have him for a bestest friend and a big brother."
"Apparently baseball and drunk screaming college students brings a broken family together"
"Yesterday was just EMOTIONAL. But, I finally stood up for myself and said what I wanted to say not worrying how upset it might make someone else and told the truth. I let myself feel the pain and cry and be angry and it felt GREAT. In a crappy way of course, because no one wants to feel those things, but it was nice to not store it inside like I always tend to do."
"Last night was just sad but I'm glad I have people to share in that sadness sometimes...IHOP was the commiserating center and my bacon and coffee heard too much about what it is to be sad."
"I love too easily. I give too easily. I stand up for people who don't deserve it and care about people who shouldn't be cared about. And in hindsight, I'm disgusted with myself for wasting that time on things that didn't give back. That situation repeats itself time and again in my life and is probaby the one I am MOST FRUSTERATED with at all times in my life."
"I know the world is not my burden to bear, but sometimes it just all happens to fall on my back."
"Had a cathartic talk with my friends Sunday night, it was great. My roommates and friends sat around reminicing about a few years ago and the fun things we remember about our classes and told stories that made us laugh pretty damn hard. We then talked about more serious memories and things that happened in the past...Z turned to me and said, 'I wouldn't wish all the things that have happened to you on anybody...when it rains for you it pours.'"
"We then left as soon as we could because the techno music was starting to make our ears bleed and went home where things made sense like Guitar Hero and Kings. It was sort of a "you had to be there" kind of night. And while it was classy and upscale and random and organically delicious...I was reminded of my lack of culture, lack of style, lack of money, and lack of a hard-core intestinal track after eating some of that food."
"Life is TOO short. It's too short for holding grudges. It's too short for not telling your friends and family how you feel about them. Too short to complain, to not work as hard as you can, to not be successful. I know this weekend will be emotional on multiple levels as I laugh, cry, and try not to break down on the rollercoaster ride of it all, but I can't help wondering if these emotions make us feel alive? That we can find life and purpose in the passing of another. We could be inspired to live as hard as we can in case our time is cut short as Julie's was. And hopefully this feeling lasts a long time so we don't have to wait until the next passing to be inspired again."
"I've learned to handle crisis with grace and not freak out. Life is too damn short to obsess about things I can not and actually might not want to change. I don't need friends who cut and run at the first sign of trouble (fair weather friends I believe they are called) and I'm going to tell people how I feel about them even if they freak out because at least I said my peace."
"Life is too short to wait for stupidity to end."
"I discovered a new heroin...instant grits. It's like God opened up the sky and sayeth, 'And I shall create instant grits for those so un-blacketh they can not make them themselves...and they shall pour water into a bowl and create grits for all.'"
"I FINALLY got to see the end of Grey's...it was good. But man, weddings and romance and stuff...gets me teary-eyed. I HATE crying at that kind of stuff, but I can't help it even though its ridiculously fake. I hate watching my favorite characters break-up...but I love that these shows, as cliche and ridiculous as they may be, give you an ounce of hope that someday your life will be romantic and magical and someone will chase after you..."
"Life IS good. I've seen so much drama in my life that I could write a lifetime movie and you know what? All those dramatic moments were actually exciting! I've been to Disney World, held a baby tiger, studied theater, danced in a fountain, been to Broadway, made music, and fed a manatee with a hose. I've made enemies, best friends, and aquaintances. I've had a one night stand, hiked 6 miles to see a waterfall, fell in love and back out again, and rode to prom on a fire truck. My mom is my best friend. I knit and cook. I fall in love with books and people. I have danced in my underwear. I've played jazz. I met crazy Croatians in Canada. I've been sledding on cookie sheets and cardboard. I've kissed a stranger. I've stayed up all night to read Harry Potter. Even the absolute WORST parts of my life have been a story to tell and an experience to share. They've made my life ridiculously exciting and I'm only 20 years old!"
There it is then.... Summer awaits...
"I refuse to apologize for who I am or how much I've changed. I love myself and as long as I'm happy, I'm not sure much else matters. I love my friends, as much as band drives me insane, I love the family it has brought me, I love my major and most importantly I love being alive and even if some don't agree with my thought patterns or methods that have brought me to this place, just be happy that I am in love with life. So no apologies."
"There are some friendships that no matter how screwed up they are or how many horrible fights you have, or how much you go through, it will never die just...because. There is no answer...but you couldn't find more affection and love between two more screwed up, mentally insane, difficult, stubborn, and bitter people as him and I. Despite it all, I'm lucky to have him for a bestest friend and a big brother."
"Apparently baseball and drunk screaming college students brings a broken family together"
"Yesterday was just EMOTIONAL. But, I finally stood up for myself and said what I wanted to say not worrying how upset it might make someone else and told the truth. I let myself feel the pain and cry and be angry and it felt GREAT. In a crappy way of course, because no one wants to feel those things, but it was nice to not store it inside like I always tend to do."
"Last night was just sad but I'm glad I have people to share in that sadness sometimes...IHOP was the commiserating center and my bacon and coffee heard too much about what it is to be sad."
"I love too easily. I give too easily. I stand up for people who don't deserve it and care about people who shouldn't be cared about. And in hindsight, I'm disgusted with myself for wasting that time on things that didn't give back. That situation repeats itself time and again in my life and is probaby the one I am MOST FRUSTERATED with at all times in my life."
"I know the world is not my burden to bear, but sometimes it just all happens to fall on my back."
"Had a cathartic talk with my friends Sunday night, it was great. My roommates and friends sat around reminicing about a few years ago and the fun things we remember about our classes and told stories that made us laugh pretty damn hard. We then talked about more serious memories and things that happened in the past...Z turned to me and said, 'I wouldn't wish all the things that have happened to you on anybody...when it rains for you it pours.'"
"We then left as soon as we could because the techno music was starting to make our ears bleed and went home where things made sense like Guitar Hero and Kings. It was sort of a "you had to be there" kind of night. And while it was classy and upscale and random and organically delicious...I was reminded of my lack of culture, lack of style, lack of money, and lack of a hard-core intestinal track after eating some of that food."
"Life is TOO short. It's too short for holding grudges. It's too short for not telling your friends and family how you feel about them. Too short to complain, to not work as hard as you can, to not be successful. I know this weekend will be emotional on multiple levels as I laugh, cry, and try not to break down on the rollercoaster ride of it all, but I can't help wondering if these emotions make us feel alive? That we can find life and purpose in the passing of another. We could be inspired to live as hard as we can in case our time is cut short as Julie's was. And hopefully this feeling lasts a long time so we don't have to wait until the next passing to be inspired again."
"I've learned to handle crisis with grace and not freak out. Life is too damn short to obsess about things I can not and actually might not want to change. I don't need friends who cut and run at the first sign of trouble (fair weather friends I believe they are called) and I'm going to tell people how I feel about them even if they freak out because at least I said my peace."
"Life is too short to wait for stupidity to end."
"I discovered a new heroin...instant grits. It's like God opened up the sky and sayeth, 'And I shall create instant grits for those so un-blacketh they can not make them themselves...and they shall pour water into a bowl and create grits for all.'"
"I FINALLY got to see the end of Grey's...it was good. But man, weddings and romance and stuff...gets me teary-eyed. I HATE crying at that kind of stuff, but I can't help it even though its ridiculously fake. I hate watching my favorite characters break-up...but I love that these shows, as cliche and ridiculous as they may be, give you an ounce of hope that someday your life will be romantic and magical and someone will chase after you..."
"Life IS good. I've seen so much drama in my life that I could write a lifetime movie and you know what? All those dramatic moments were actually exciting! I've been to Disney World, held a baby tiger, studied theater, danced in a fountain, been to Broadway, made music, and fed a manatee with a hose. I've made enemies, best friends, and aquaintances. I've had a one night stand, hiked 6 miles to see a waterfall, fell in love and back out again, and rode to prom on a fire truck. My mom is my best friend. I knit and cook. I fall in love with books and people. I have danced in my underwear. I've played jazz. I met crazy Croatians in Canada. I've been sledding on cookie sheets and cardboard. I've kissed a stranger. I've stayed up all night to read Harry Potter. Even the absolute WORST parts of my life have been a story to tell and an experience to share. They've made my life ridiculously exciting and I'm only 20 years old!"
There it is then.... Summer awaits...
Friday, June 01, 2007
180 Dance of Life
My life has 180'd since I started college...I am no longer friends with everyone, I just don't have the energy...I respect life a lot more since it can be snatched away from you. I have a handful of friends who are truly family but haven't gotten over how amazing my real family is. I was at the funeral home last night and was so proud of Michael and his family for being so strong and I looked at him with more sisterly love than I have looked at anyone with in a long time...not since Nate anyways. Got to spend last night with Josh which was a nice change of pace since we never get to see each other. But thats life...so I cherish the little time I do have with him. He is a breath of fresh air from the smog of Cincinnati. I saw Mr. Reed today...we hugged for a very long time because I don't think either of us really knew what to say at first. Than once we got going just like always, we couldn't stop and we sat and bullshitted for about 4 hours before I realized it was getting dark even though I had gotten there at 2:30. I am so thankful to God that he survived this. And is back even with a few minor ticks that should go away by the end of the summer. And Lewis convinced him to teach again. That man taught me everything I want to be as a teacher and as a human being. I leave for Vegas a week from tomorrow. With Heather, one of my bestest (like family) which makes me more happy than words can describe. Just...random thoughts.
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