Egypt is where the heart is.

I am in a distant place; away from home, along with many others.

In this examination heat where many are counting their days home, I am too. I honestly am. Because the thought of family, friends, and um, food is comfort. 

Yet Egypt is in the heart so dear. 

Some people I know have grown to loathe Egypt. Dislike Egypt. Because of the bad memories it has given to them. Personal attacks. Assaults. Harassment. You name it. In a country with a high percentage of poverty and low education, that is nothing but normal. But ever since the uprising and having multiple presidents one by one taking the stage which Egyptians themselves have now burnt down to ashes, Egypt is in a critical stage. A mess which unfortunately is not beautiful like any other. 

Now we await as the new president is being announced. The spotlight is now on Egypt, after Libya and Syria are starting to become distant memories. It's becoming to take a toll on me, and I can see it taking a strain on Egyptians. My juniors and I were on the way back home from Atabah in a taxi, and in front of us was this lorry (excruciatingly slow) with blaring speakers playing a terribly joyous song in support for what seemed to be the obvious winner in the current presidential election. 

I saw many faces and emotions.

On the balcony there were old ladies in their granny gowns, clapping and grinning in rhythm to the song. Young men were fooling around splashing each other with water and dancing in the streets. Kids were happily trailing the lorry, laughing and racing with each other.

And then there were the non-supporters in disdain, trying their best to ignore the uncalled celebration, even though it was impossible. This scene stuck in my mind, and still is. The painful part, is being reminded that unity is just a dream. 

I dream of a bright Egypt with no crime. Where it is led by an honorable person, where people live harmoniously, where there is no crime, and Al-Azhar glistens more brightly than it ever has. But this dream never lasts, and it never became true. Because it is a fantasy.

Egypt is a place where I keep being torn into pieces, and shaken hard. It is the place which I have hit my face hard on the ground but it is on the blessed soil that I stood back up. In these 4 years I have shouted (real loud) to a number of Egyptians, but I have given my heart to a tad too many - and that is more memorable. Living in a Muslim majority country feels like home. Like living within a big, big family. The warmth and hospitality are blessings. The lessons learnt are gold. The life in Singapore is moving at a speed so fast that it becomes blurry. What is warmth? It has turned into a battlefield for the survival of the fittest, a live competition. 

What are we striving for? What are we searching for? We don't know. We don't know what we want but we know we haven't got it.

Even though the future is unsure, I'm glad I have this place called Egypt to brace myself.

Random taxi conversation.

My friend and I was in a taxi, going back from a discussion we had at the clubhouse. Something was bugging my mind, so I started the topic.

"Awak you know how my friends are high achieving undergraduates and graduates mostly career-minded and all?"

"Ahuh." 

"Well time tu dorang tengah having this debate that nowadays being a housewife is a lesser contribution to the community, so they said every woman should go out and actually do something."

"Okay..."

"Yeah abih kte cakap being a housewife is just as noble 'cause we're like building the foundations of the community, but they didn't agree to that?"

"Well," 

"Ahuh awk what do you think?"

"I think,"

"...that kalau awak jadi housewife, it's going to be such a waste to the community."

My face turned into a... cookie. Flat. Because I didn't get the answer I wanted and it bugged me more. For the fact that I didn't really know what she saw in me and what she really meant.