Awake.

During some nights when you just can't seem to fall asleep, you lie down and realize how beautiful the night is. =) But at some other times... you just can't feel that serenity. Because you're waiting for something to happen, but it just doesn't. And then you think of other people, how they have things that you don't. How they always seem to get what you always yearn. And then you feel that you are missing something. 

But then you realize. And remember. That you don't necessarily have to be like the others to be complete. Just believe. Believe. Believe. That the thing that you are waiting, will emerge at its best during the most perfect time. But if it's not meant to be yours... there'll be a stronger you insyaAllah. =)

A lot has happened, many things have changed, so I have to change too. =) Saya terima, saya percaya dengan aturan Allah. Saya percaya.....

Yang tidak disedari.

Akal sedang sibuk berfikir tentang masa depan. Tentang dunia. Tentang hidup. Tiba-tiba secara spontan, hati itu merintih.

"Tuhan, aku mohon derita di dunia!"

Akal tersentak.

"Jangan! Hati, apa kau tahu akibat permintaan?"

"Biar... asalkan aku bahagia di akhirat..."

"Apa kau yakin kau mampu kuat?"

"Akan aku mohon juga untuk kuat..."

"Apa kau fikir semua itu mudah?"

"Akan aku minta agar dipermudahkan..."

Terdiam. Membisu. Lesu. Juga pilu. Tak ada yang mampu terlahir selain doa.

"Hati, aku mohon pada Allah agar kau kuat. Agar apa mata-mata lain lihat sebagai derita, kau akan melihatnya sebagai nikmat. Aku tahu dunia terlalu sementara. Aku tahu yang kekal itu yang di sana. Semoga yang kau cari itu yang hakiki... dan semoga tangisanmu juga ada ganjarannya..."