Nak mama, nak abang...

Rindu.

Nak duduk berbual dengan mama, nak dengar nasihat dia, nak teguran dia, nak peluk dia bila tiba-tiba rasa macam nak peluk orang, nak main masak-masak lepastu tengok mama makan bila dia balik kerja, nak bongkar-bongkar plastic bila mama balik pasar, nak ngoyok-ngoyok kat mama untuk belikan keropok, nak mama buatkan bubur kacang yang sedap, nak ajak mama makan ice kacang kat luar sebab cuaca panas, nak dengar mama jerit sebab asyik main-main kat rumah, nak pandang muka mama... 

Nak dengar suara abang bising, nak bongkar bilik abang, nak angkat baju-baju dia yang selalu atas katil, nak petik guitar dia sesuka hati sebab tak tahu main, nak gaduh dengan dia untuk pakai kipas atau masuk bilik air, nak petik taugeh dengan dia bila mama balik pasar, nak baring kat katil dia walaupun selalu berserak, nak makan dengan abang kat shopping centre, nak jalan dengan abang untuk pergi kedai mamak prata bila lapar waktu tengah-tengah malam, nak pergi masjid dengan abang, nak abang pilihkan baju dengan tudung setiap kali nak keluar...

Nak semua tu. Nak mama, nak abang.....


Sekarang baru kenal erti rindu.....

Pujuk-pujuk

With friend #1


"Awak, kte goreng telur tak cantik. Takde org nak jadikan kte isteri."
"It's okay awak, it's a new era. People look for deen."
"Tapi goreng telur tu kan benda basic?"
"Tak apa, nanti hari-hari suami awak mesti terhibur tengok shape telur goreng yang lain-lain."
"Hah." ^__^"


With friend #2


"Awaaak, kte tak pandai goreng telur!"
"Alah, telur je. Kan lain boleh masak? K k, kalau goreng telur, masak je dengan sambal. Terus tak ada org pun nampak telur dia."
"Haaah." ^__^"


By the way, kelmarin bila goreng telur... jadi bentuk macam triangle! Hah hah tak tahu buat kan. *muka gembira untuk pujuk diri sendiri*


Lastly...

"Awak, people will like you the way you are. 

You can't debate or negate on that. Just one fine day, it will come."

Thank you for enlightening. =)

Semua orang kan tak sempurna

Lepas sehari belajar, tiba-tiba rasa macam nak bercerita! =)

Hmmm. Pertama sekali...

Bila ada orang sebut telur mata lembu, mesti kita bayangkan telur yang ni kan...

Cantik, bulat... memang selera~ Mmm, nak tahu apa kena mengena tajuk pengisian ana dengan telur? Baca k, ada cerita ni! =)

Pada suatu petang, ana sedang duduk dalam bilik. Lagi 2 minggu lebih dah nak masuk fatrah imtihan, jadi konon-kononlah cuba baca buku untuk muraja'ah. Tak sampai sejam... perut pun bunyi....

Masa: 4.12 petang. Pandang kawan satu bilik.

"Laparlah..."

"Kan banyak makanan kat dapur. Pergilah..."

"Ok ok..."

Ana pun masuk dapur. Macam tak ada apa-apa... jadi ana pun masak nasi dengan kobis air sikit. Lepastu goreng telur, boleh letak kicap. Tada! Cepat, sedap, sihat insyaAllah! Lepas setengah jam dalam dapur, terus masuk bilik. Kawan ana tengah pandang laptop sekejap lepas penat belajar. Ana pun tak ada kerja... jadi ana tunjuk telur yang ana goreng.

*tunjuk telur*

"Cantik tak..?"

"....."

5 saat berlalu. 

Kawan ana tenung telur. 

Suasana terdiam sekejap.

"Um... atleast....." 

"...??" *ana ternanti-nanti*

5 saat lagi berlalu. (Rasa macam 5 jam!)

"Atleast... atleast... masih nampak macam telur lah."

"Tapi ni yang paling cantik saya pernah goreng tau..!"

"Takpe lah. Kan telur je. Makan, terus hilang. Bukannya apa-apa pun."

Kalau ana... lauk-pauk lainnya insyaAllah boleh masak (itu pun antara sedap atau tak sedap... terpulang pada yang makan). Cuma... segala macam telur, belum pernah ana dapat goreng dengan cantik. Abang ana yang lelaki pun dapat goreng telur yang jauh lagi sempurna daripada ana. Memang rasa kurang sempurna sebagai seorang perempuan. Tapi... semua orang tak sempurna kan? Mungkin dengan pengisian kali ni, banyak persepsi akan berubah tentang ana. "Hah, telur pun si Fairuz tak tahu goreng??" Tapi ni Fairuz yang sebenar... terima ana seadanya k. Dengan telur-telur kurang cantik yang bakal ana goreng sekali. Dan ini cuma satu daripada seribu kelemahan yang ada... Allahu a'lam. =)

Hingga lain kali, assalamu'alaikum. =)

Fading, but fighting hard

I knew it would come… it always has been. And every time, every time, it’s prior to exams. Just weeks before it. But we know that when we face something so difficult - even if it comes with the possibility of having no solution – we just… do whatever we can, with whatever strength that we have inside.

Today I took a long walk by myself around Raba’ah, hoping to find my favourite flower. The sunflower. Which has managed to make me pull through all this while. And like this special flower which always faces the direction of the sun, I wish to be able to see the light always, even during the darkest moments.

But 45 minutes passed, and I still couldn’t find a sunflower…

All that were there, weren’t real, living ones. Why have something so unreal, one which is replicated. That wouldn’t do… it never would. I’d only want one with much resemblance, one which lives just like me.

And being outside, the men around here – they’ve never made days better. But all thanks go to Allah, to the One who protects. Because He knows my limits. He always has. And always will.

The walk back home was made with the heart feeling the same as when I went out.

But the littlest hope is still shining, though it fades from time to time. And I still choose to believe, no matter what the circumstances are. Do you?

About tonight

Just a few minutes ago I was lying on my bed and holding my laptop like a book while reading some article. I felt sleepy, and I think I lost my grip, so... 


My laptop fell right on my face.
It hurt... and I suffered a few moments of confusion~


Lesson learnt: don't hold your laptop like a book while lying flat on your bed...
Take good care of yourself, especially when exams are around the corner. =)


Rabbunaa ma'akum. 
Would like to turn in for the night now.
Till later, assalamu'alaikum. =)

E-x-a-m-s!

*pretends to be a commentator* Yes, yes! We're going to run for a marathon, and it's starting in 27 days! 8th January! The countdown starts! And rooms become messed up! ^__^"

^ Current scene in one corner of my room. 

Picture taken due to boredom and for self-entertainment. ^__^

Oh, and those things I drew on my white board? Just in case you got alarmed, I wasn't doodling alright, I was studying. Yes, studying! =) it's something normal for me, because I remember and memorize things by visuals; drawings and pictures of any sort. So for example, if I'm revising about a poet who was a soldier, I'd draw a sword beside the points. Ahuh, those kind of things! =)

I'm currently studying linguistics, and the following is the definition of 'language' >

But then it'd turn out to be something like this... easier for me to memorize, yay!

I really think those who can memorize directly from lengthy notes are blessed. Oh, and those who can memorize directly from the book itself? More blessed! If you're among those, then alhamdulillah. Really, really, thank Allah! =)

But, nonetheless I believe that one should go by his or her own pace. It doesn't matter if it's at walking pace, because what matters is that he or she is taking steps forward. Another thing to share... identify your learning style. Without any doubt, preparations for exams are dry and nerve-wrecking, but insyaAllah after you've figured out what kind of learner you are (visual, auditory or kinesthetic), you'll find it easier to digest information and remember it throughout your life! InsyaAllah, revising will be fun and entertaining because you'd be more hyped up to discover new things. =)

Last but not least,

We study, we revise, we go through exams... all is for His sake.

Lillah lillah lillah. 

May we not forget that. =)

With all the love in Egypt,

Fairuz 

P.s.: Rabbunaa yusahhil umuurakum! =)

Of begging for prayers and seeking patience.

Due to the upcoming exams happening next month, frequent dizziness and the constant feeling of discomfort which are caused by things only known to Allah [ =( ], I strongly feel that most of the following posts I'm going to write will be of short ones...

There's been a lot that I want to write about, but they're either half-written in my notebooks, saved in blogger as drafts, or simply left in my mind. 

And this post is composed just to ask for your prayers. Doakan k.

Please pray for my well-being, and that wonderful achievements await me here in Egypt. =) Thank you. And Jazaakumullaahu khairal jazaa'.....

P.s.: If things don't go the way you want it to be, ask Allah to bless you with more patience and strength. Ask Him to show you the ni'mah and hikmah behind every single thing... and place it in front of your eyes. We are helpless beings. Wakhuliqal insaanu dha'iifa. "And Man was created weak". That's what our Creator, Allah said in Surah An-Nisaa', verse 28. So we just raise our hands and ask Him for every single thing. Even if people say it's unimaginable, or even impossible. =)

P.s.s.: Just a thought... Sometimes I wish that certain people are actually the person deep inside them, and that they would really let out the thoughts and feelings suppressed in their little hearts. =)

P.s.s.s.: At times when you look up to a person and hold him in high regard by who he portrays himself as, yet finally discover that he actually is another person; the opposite... makes you feel disappointed. But we've to understand that every one has his own share of weaknesses, gather all the strength that we have and continue on searching what it means to be close to perfection, don't we? =) Rabbunaa a'lam. I apologize for the rather confusing arrangement of words. Am feeling dizzy. =)

That's If.

If you could have what he has

And she could be who you are;

Then all hearts would be the same,

'Special' won't be heard again;

If everything was in our hands

Perhaps no prayers would be uttered,

The Almighty much forgotten,

All dreams would die,

And that child

At the other side of the world

Wouldn't wish upon a star;

He wouldn't learn to yearn

or appreciate what comes around;

She wouldn't seek and go beyond

to place things where it belongs;

The imperfections are perfect;

leave uncertainties as such;

Let the world dream;

Let there always be this scene

of people

Sitting, wishing and praying

Wednesday, December 1, 2010, 1:32 am

Cairo, Egypt

It's cold! (Really)

Friday, 1.26 am


Me: Sejuknyaaa macam kat snow city! =( *jalan ke sana ke mari*
Roommate: Melampau. Snow city 4 degrees lah. -_-"


... and to think that it's going to be colder. 
At times like this, you just can't help but think of sunny Singapore more. =)

Allah knows.

(( اللهم ارزقني رجلا صالحا لا يحزنني ولا يؤذيني... ))

(= ...It's never wrong to keep wishing and praying