Tentang Mama, si kuih bakar, dan menjaga hati.

Sedang ana letih mengarang bahath ana, teringat satu cerita kelakar yang tersangat menghibur hati! Cerita lamaaa waktu ana sekolah menengah, rasanya. =)

Pada suatu hari, mak ana terasa nak buat kuih... jadi dia pun keluarkan recipe kek chiffon.

"Ok dik, mama nak try lah buat kek ni!"

"Wah bestnya, nanti kita takyah beli chiffon cake lagi!"


Dalam fikiran ana... ana dah bayangkan chiffon cake gini... 

Bila adunan siap, mama pun bakar, letak dalam microwave oven. Lebih kurang 45 minit berlalu, oven pun berbunyi! Tapi terdengar satu suara pula dari dapur!

"Alamak adiiiiiiik! Tak jadi...!!!"

"Alamak! Abih jadi apa...?"

Yang ana nampak, bukan kek yang gebu, tapi kuih warna hijau gelap. Atasnya warna coklat. Semacam terbakar sikit.


"Mama, ni apa?!"
"Mama pun tak tahu!" *cocok kek seakan-akan ia benda hidup*


Kita pun tenung 'kek' tu. 'Kek' tu pun tenung kita...

"Err...."


Tiba-tiba...

*ding dong* Rumah ada tetamu!

"Mamaaaaa! Busu datang!"

"Eh dia tak cakap pun dia datang. Adik, serve aje lah kuih ni..."

Pakcik ana duduk, berbual sambil minum air teh dan makan kuih.

"Sedap betul kuih bakar ni! Beli kat mana?"

"Tak beli... ni tadi aku yang buat." *gembira*

"Ha'ah, mama yang buat! Actually tu kan busu... chiffon cake tau. Hehe."

"Adik ni... lain kali janganlah bilang!"

"Eh, tapi dia jadi kuih bakar. Sedap!" *pakcik ana selera*


Bila abang ana dapat tahu pula... mulalah dia~


Abg: Waaah ma, lepas ni mama bolehlah buat kuih bakar pakai recipe chiffon cake!
Ana: Hehehe, adik agree!
Mama: Muhammad dgn adik tak baik lah... 
Abg: Adik, sekali adik dah besar pun jadi macam mama.
Ana: Eh and what's so bad about that??
Abg: Takde pape~
Ana: Geram geram geram!
Mama: *sibuk fikir macam mana cake boleh jadi gitu* Agaknya kan dik... *teori satu bermula*

Lepas tu, mak ana terus tak bakar kek chiffon lagi. ^__^"

Ada pengajaran dari episod ni... ana buat silap. Sepatutnya, ana tak seharusnya beritahu pakcik ana tentang apa yang berlaku. Sebab tanpa pengetahuan tentang apa yang terjadi,  pakcik ana merasakan kuih yang mak ana bakar sedap, dan mak ana pun gembira. Bila ana cerita tentang apa yang jadi... mak ana terkesan, dan kegembiraan tu pun pudar. Faham kan...? K, jangan buat k kesilapan ana. Kita jaga hati-hati orang yang sekeliling kita! =)


Hingga lain kali, assalamu'alaikum semua! =)


P.s.: Mama, bahath adik dah habis. Syukran sebab doakan...


P.s.s.: Syukran juga untuk semua. Mohon terus mendoakan k. =)

Bergurau senda.

Sewaktu ana di Singapura, ana teringat satu syarahan yang mak ana paksa ana dan abang ana untuk pergi. Tajuknya berkaitan dengan kekeluargaan dan cara mendidik anak. (Jangan tanya k? Faham aje mak ana. ^__^") Jadi ustaz tu sedang bercerita lah tentang bergurau senda dengan isteri. Ceritanya begini...

"Pada satu malam kan hadirin sekalian, saya dengan isteri saya sedang duduk-duduk... mulalah perbualan. Yalah, penat kan kerja sehari suntuk, bergurau lah sikit..."

'Hmm, sayang... awak nak tahu apa?'

'Apa dia? Abang, apa dia?'

"Muka isteri saya, beriya-iya tau hadirin sekalian! Saya pun katalah dengan muka serius..."

'Saya sayang awak cuma 16% aje.' 

"Saat tu, tuhan aje yang tahu macam mana sakitnya isteri saya cubit, muslimin! Ya Allah. Saya kena marahhh!"

Isteri saya kata: 'Hah abang yg lain pergi mana?! Abang nak nikah lagi ke?!'

"Hah muslimin, lepas saya dah eksen dengan dia, Saya pun kata..."

'Yang lain untuk Allah, Rasul, kekasih-kekasih mereka, keluarga, dan muslimin lainnya. Sayang Allah, mesti yang jauh melebihi makhlukNya. Eh, 16% macam banyak pula utk awak. Saya kurangkan lah...'

"Nak tahu apa isteri saya kata? Sejuk betul hati saya. Isteri saya kata..."

'Eh abang, jangan. Saya redha...'
'Saya pun redha... memang mudah bagi saya untuk redha bila awak isteri saya.'

[Ana suka sekali cara ustaz ni! Halus gurauannya... =) ]

"Tersipu-sipu isteri saya, muslimin muslimat sekalian! Hehehe. Gitulah... saya cuba bergurau, sambil mendidik. Bergurau, sambil selitkan hikmah. Sesuatu yang boleh diambil sebagai pengajaran. Bila isteri kita gembira, dia akan ikhlas mendidik anak-anak kita, yang suami pula akan bersemangat bekerja. Yalah, sebab hubungan itu dijaga dengan baik, diserikan dengan gurau senda yang berpatutan. Saya pasti muslimin muslimat dapat lakukan yang lebih baik... insyaAllah."

Bila dengar cerita ustaz ni, ana pun terhibur bila nampak makcik-makcik duduk dalam dewan musolla tu tersipu-sipu ketawa. Ana ingat lagi waktu tu, tiba-tiba ana dapat sms daripada abang ana yang duduk di musolla lelaki di bawah:

"Alamak dik. Mati ah kalau abg kene buat gitu. Geli seh!"

Abang ana niiiiiii. >__<"

Sebelum syarahan bermula pula, ana lihat yang hadir semua ibu-ibu! Ada yang bawa anak kecil, tak ada yang sebaya ana pun! Ya Allah... hampir semua pandang ana hairan. Ada makcik yang bertanya...

"Eh sorang aje nak? Datang dengan suami ke?"

"Tak cik... suami tak ikut..."

"Kenapa tak ikut?

"Suaminya belum ada..."

"Ya Allah makcik ingatkan suaminya kerja! Kamu ni, ish..."

"Hehehe."

Bila balik, ana tunggu abang ana di luar masjid. Lambat sangat nak keluar!

Datang seorang pakcik menegur.

"Nak, tunggu siapa? Dah malam ni. Tunggu suaminya ya?"

"Tak... tunggu abang. Hah, tu pun dia!"

"Oh, pakcik ingat suami..."

.................

"Abang, ada pakcik ingat yang abang suami adik."

"Ya Allah! siapa entah nak jadi suami adik!"

"Nak cakap juga! Ya Allah! siapa entah nak jadi isteri abang!"

"Ada. Banyak. Adik je tak tahu. Abang ni, dahlah cool..."

Eeee. Malas, malas! Gerammm dengan abang ana!

K sampai di sini aje... Assalamu'alaikum. 

Hingga perkongsian seterusnya k! =)

On doing bahath.

I miss times when I'd be doing my bahath back at home; typing and going through resources late at night on that very table, and my mum would come into my room from time to time, to check on me.

"Adik... dabis buat bahath?"
"Belum..."
"Masih banyak ke tu...? 
"Boleh juga..."
"Dah pukul berapa ni... esok kan sekolah..."
"Okay... sekejap lagi k..."
"Mama..."
"Hmm?"
"Nak milo?"
"Buat sendiri."
"Alah..." 
"Semuaaa nak mama buat..." *goes out*


Mama, adik penat sikit. 
Walaupun mama tetap tak nak buatkan milo malam-malam, tetap rindu.
May Allah ease my efforts in doing the bahath I'm currently doing... 
Amin yaa Rabb.
Doakan k.
Assalamu'alaikum. =)

Of beautiful thoughts.

And when sometimes you get tired of reading kuliah books and doing bahath, you just let your mind flutter off to somewhere else and simply have... Beautiful Thoughts. =)


And the current thought in my mind? Educating my children. =)


Imagine teaching my children how to read the Quraan. 


Me: Okaaay, ummi kira sampai tiga, semua kena baca k! 
Them: Okay ummi!
Me: Satuuu... duaaa... tiga!
Them: Aaa! Baa! Taa! Thaa!
Me: Eh kenapa jerit jerittt ni?
Them: Tak apaaa biar semua orang dengar anak ummi baca!
Me: Haa dah menunjuk nunjuk tu~
Them: Bukan ummi, kita bangga lah dengan kitab Allah!
Me: Ohhh~ ^__^


Next is a scene where my little son is beside me, attempting to follow how I pray.


Me: *after giving salam* Amad, amad buat apa ni?
Amad: Amad ikut ummi solat lah. 
Me: Kenapa amad tak ikut abah solat?
Amad: Kan abah belum balik keje...
Me: Eh betul juga. Ummi ajar amad solat ok? Suka tak?
Amad: Naaak! Amad nak bilang bilang Allah banyak benda, macam ummi jugak!
Me: *smiles* K, mula mula....


Suddenly the thoughts disappear.


And I feel scared and sad. Because I really really hope that my children will turn out and emerge as wonderful Muslims and Muslimahs, those who are able to defend this religion, and do much better than what I'm trying to do. It may seem far-fetched, but my future children whom I imagine are somewhat my motivation too for me to study and be a good person. Because I want to contribute something to Islam; and the very least I can do is to let my children be among those whom the ummah can benefit from. And so these two doas are always what I recite after my prayers:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
ربي اجعلني مقيم الصلاة ومن ذرياتي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ

Regarding these doas, I started reciting it only after having the usual 'Ustaz kata...' conversation with my mother... around a year ago. =)

Mama: Adik, ustaz kata... doa doa ni bagus tau.

Me: Mama, ni nanti bila dah nak kahwin kan baru baca...

Mama: Tak apa, kata ustaz kena baca... insyaAllah bila Allah lihat kesungguhan kita berdoa, nanti Allah bagi kat kita. Betul kan dik?


Hearing that, it all made sense... =) And the second doa - I believe it's essential too. Because the prayer is the pillar of Islam. The base. How strong it is, defines the building. And one's prayer - it somehow shapes him...


Oh, and when narrating all my Beautiful Thoughts to my friends, they'd always laugh.


"Ah ya, sibuk sangat fikir pasal anak, bapak dia yang mana satu?"


Oh. ayah dia... kadang terlupa. Tapi gambaran dia lebih kurang ginilah... 

^__^" Allahu a'lam. 


Okay, now it's back to reality... Assalamu'alaikum all. =)

My brother the annoying Ah Beng. ;(

This is by far, the sweetest email from my brother. =)

... but I think that 'being sweet' and 'sincerity' needs to be redefined now. :(

At times he's meaaaaan but I miss him just the same. 

Mean moment #389576:

Abg: Adik, nak tahu something?

Me: Naaak! Ape ape?

Abg: Adik tak lawa je pada abang.

Me: ... =(

Abg: Serious sey dik, tak lawa.

Me: Takpe lah~

Abg: Abg lagi lawa dari adik.

Me: Kalau gitu adik lagi handsome dari abg. 

Abg: Fair enough. Tapi adik nak ke jadi handsome?

Me: *caught* Huhhhhh. =(

Mean moment #389577:

Me: Abang, you should join the Singapore Debaters Association.

Abg: Debating is pointless, adik.

Me: But that's what you always do with me.

Abg: Yes... which is pointless too.

Me: ... =(

See what I mean when I say he's mean?

But even so... I like his company. He's a great listener. And... he gives great advice. No one can ever ever replace my brother. Because he's among my favourite people. Thank you Allah. =)

My Number One

My number one. 

Where ever you may be... 

Although you have absolutely zero table manners (or should i say floor manners?),

always always sniff everything in my room,

roll around the living room,

run behind the table top and meow loudly pretending to be lost just to attract people's attention...

I love you just the same. 

And I miss you so much.

My father, my abah

Cairo, Egypt >>>>> Tampines, Singapore

"Hi mama I miss miss miss you! Ada baaanyak nak cerita!"

"Wahhh adik nya cerita ni tak habis habis eh."

"Mesti lah." ;p

"Dik, bila nak email abah?"

"Eh everytime adik dah cakap dengan abah kat tefon."

"Hari hari dia ngadap computer tau, nangis nangis semua sebab tunggu adik email."

"Mamaaa drama lah~"

"Betuuuuul."

"Okay okay nanti adik email k."

And so I found myself typing an email. This time, for Abah.

   From: Siti Nur Fairuz Bte Mohd Anis (snfairuz@hotmail.com)

   To: Abah (.........@gmail.com)

   Subject: For my Abah

   Sent: 30 October 2010 19:35 PM

Bismillah

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah

Hi Abah!

I hope that as you read this email, you are in the best state of health and iman insyaAllah...

Alhamdulillah all is well and I'm doing great here in Egypt. Lectures are getting more interesting as the days pass by. Being here for almost 4 months, I can quite understand the colloquial language now (although it's utterly difficult). Oh by the way... the internet connection here is rather slow so that quite puts me off sometimes... and that's the reason why I don't go online quite often. When I do, I'd just go through my emails and that's about it... your email - however - really made me smile. what with the stories about your workplace, and about atok... thank you abah. For spending time to write to me :)

There's not much going on here.

Hmmm. Though lectures are interesting, it's proving to be rather difficult. Do pray for me...

Abah, has it finally come to you that your daughter is studying abroad in Egypt?

Somehow I think it'd be better, if I don't return next year..... the expenses will be too much......... plus, I'd like to search all opportunities to seek knowledge during the holidays here. Let me know what do you think about that alright.

I'll be looking forward to your reply :)

Lots of love,

Fairuz 

It feels quite nice to write to someone who sincerely cares... =)

Days after, I saw an email in my inbox. 

From: Md. Anis Md. Arif (........@gmail.com)

To: Siti Nur Fairuz Bte Mohd Anis (snfairuz@hotmail.com)

Subject: Re: For my Abah

Sent: 08 November 2010 22:20 PM

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullah.

I'm glad that you are well and I hope that Allah will always keep you in the best of health, provide you with all your needs and ease all your efforts to study. Worry not about us here and just concentrate on your studies. We are doing well here, alhamdulillah, thank you.

If you ask me if I have got use to not having you here with me, NO, I have not.

I guess it will take me a long time before getting use to it, maybe in 4 years time?

or more perhaps even when you have finished with your studies and returned home? heheh...

Now that you are away, I miss your antics and tantrums... Anyway that's what parents are supposed to do when their child is away. 

But I trust you are in Egypt for a reason to study and I am glad Allah permits and has given you the chance to carry on studying where i had stopped, you continue my dreams to reality.

Expenses aside, if you wish not to return home but continue study next year, you'll always have my blessings, you know that. Just don't forget to tell me what your plans are and as long as you are not alone by yourself there, i don't mind, even happy that you have the interest to learn.

Spend what you need which is important, don't worry. 

If you ever got bored with nothing better to do, take pictures and e-mail me. Being a father, let me remind you again, lest you forget, that I have all the rights to be kaypoh! but you do what you need to do. Remember, that my needs are secondary. Your priorities to study comes first.

Here I am again telling what you already know... heheh...

You might have guessed that i write a lot more than talking to you on the phone. I leave it to Mama to do all the talking for me. Besides, I don't think I'm strong enough to pry the phone off her hands. When the two of you are talking, I'm fine with sitting near and just listening to the conversation. Anyway, it's not worth the risk being attacked and injured by Mama for taking the phone away from her. VERY THE DANGER!!! heheheh...

I'll catch up with you again sometime later.

Got to sleep for tomorrow's work.

All my love and prayers to you always,

Your father,

mohd anis.

For some reason, my father likes to write in English. I don't know where the interest for that language came from; he only studied in a Malay school. He's just an ordinary man, who went to some machinists' institute after his O levels and so, works as a... um, machinist (again, let me emphasize that a machinist is not the same as a mechanic). It's very much amazing how his English is actually better than mine when I was the one who  formally studied the language. This is unfair. =( I think he owes it to the thousandsss of documentaries, infotainment programmes, and those English drama series on the telly. Oh, also to reading the Straits Times every single day without fail.

That's my abah for you.

Only when I'm in Egypt, I can see this soft side which was hidden in him for so long.

Okay then... till later.

Rabbunaa ma'akum. 

May Allah take care of all of you. Always. =) 

Tolong...

Buat seketika, semangat itu hampir hilang.....


Doakan k.
Mohon doa.....

The Journey.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I'd be if I went to a JC or a polytechnic after my O levels. Would I be the Fairuz I am right now? A better Fairuz perhaps?

But nonetheless, I have no regrets being in Pre-U.

The 2-year journey was not easy. Trust me. Yet the memories, the lessons learnt... priceless. =)

I'm compiling all these pictures to remind me about the things that's made me hang on for so long, so that I'd never give up insyaAllah. =)

First step. 2008. Pre-U 1 Azhar! New friends, new responsibilities, and a glimpse of what higher education would be like. =)

April 2008. Bahas 4PM! 

"Selamat datang ke peringkat suku akhir Bahas 4PM 2008. Untuk pusingan kali ini, Maktab Rendah Victoria akan berbahas selaku pencadang, dan Madrasah Al-Ma'arif pula selaku penyanggah. Mauduk perbahasan berbunyi: Kebajikan warga emas adalah tanggungjawab pemerintah."

Mei 2008. Selang 2 minggu sebelum periksa.

Peringkat separuh akhir. Maktab Rendah Temasek lawan Madrasah Al-Ma'arif, dengan mauduk perbahasan: "Sikap bergotong-royong semakin pudar dalam kalangan masyarakat mengikut arus kemodenan." Bahas... pengalaman yang paling payah, yang paling ana tak dapat dilupakan. Manakan nak kejar pelajaran yang semakin susah, ditambah dengan persiapan untuk berbahas... hampir setiap kali lepas sekolah, ada perbincangan. Memang tertekan, ada masanya sampai menangis... perasaan turun naik. Tapi dari situ lah ana banyak belajar. 

Belajar apa? Belajar perkataan-perkataan baru Melayu. Belajar menerima kekalahan. Belajar yang dalam dunia ni, ada ramai sangat orang yang lebih baik daripada kita. Ana suka sangat perbahasan! Very fast-paced, mind-boggling, and stimulating for the mind. Perbahasan seperti satu pementasan. Di pentas perbahasan, kita boleh jadi orang lain. Orang yang aksyen konfiden, padahal hati berdebar-debar. Wah wah wah! Tapi malangnya ana cuma bagus sebagai penonton. =)

Pasukan bahas ana dengan senior-senior bahas tahun sebelumnya. =)

Bahang Bahas 4PM padam 2 minggu sebelum peperiksaan. Lega! Alhamdulillah, memang ana tersangat bersyukur sebab walaupun lepas 2 pertandingan bahas yang tak terkira pusingannya, keputusan peperiksaan ana agak memuaskan hati. Sungguh, Alhamdulillah. 

Tapi... tibanya akhir Mei 2008. Titian Minda. 

18 - 26 May. 9 days. Lessons learnt? Unlimited...

Enough said. =)

Next up next up next up! 2009! Pre-U 2 Azhar!

Muka semua dah macam kakak-kakak tak? ;p

March 2009. Leadership Camp @ Negeri Sembilan. 

4 days filled with fun activities which I have benefitted from. =)

July 2009. Musabaqah Kalam Al-Irtijaalii @ Madrasah Aljunied. 

August 2009. Musabaqah Tahfiz Al-Quraan @ Madrasah Wak Tanjong. 

First time reciting the Quraan in front of an audience... 

December 2009.

Graduation to me means...

waving goodbye to my comfort zone and stepping into a new life.

End of Nov 2009 - June 2010.

These are the wonderful people I've met and worked with.

Great experience. I miss DRS! And I miss my colleagues Chun Qiao and Chen Wee. Times when we'd always debate whether an article should be classified under an article or a manuscript. Conversations with them are never boring!

Chen Wee: Fairuz, I think most Singaporeans are Russians.

Me: *confused* How come?

Chen Wee: Because... they rush everywhere! Get it? Russians? Rushians? 

Rush-shee-yans?

Me: Okay okay I get it! =D

Chen Wee: Hahahaha! Eh get back to work before they hear us joke around!

Supervisor: (from other side) I can hear hor!

Us: =D

Miss the whole group. =')  

June 2010. Ammiyyah classes. Preparations. Emotions. And all that. =)

July 2010. Mughaadaratii. Leaving Singapore...

And the last moments in the airport was hard. Yet so so memorable... 

Now here I am, in Egypt.

With dreams so big I wonder they'd be achievable. 

Am missing Everyone in Singapore. Doakan k. =)

Doubts.

"Some say giving up is never the choice but others say follow your heart. Some say going back on your decision is giving up but others say making a change is better than regretting afterwards."

Have those thoughts ever crossed your mind..?

It's when that path that you've been walking on for so long suddenly feels so wrong. That it's leading you to another direction; one that you've never thought of heading towards. And it brings you further away from where feel that you're supposed to be.

But for me, I think that.....

Following our hearts doesn't necessarily mean giving up. Sometimes, it may be that in ourselves is just a Troubled heart. And that little heart needs realization. Hope. Support. Strength. And enlightenment. And all those... comes from Allah. 

Indeed it is true, that we can make a change to our lives, and take a turn to another direction. But think. Reflect. About those Reasons. Why did you choose that path in the first place. Why why why Allah made your heart feel at so much ease when you first embarked on Your journey.

And so I feel that whatever challenges that we may have to face, we try to embrace it with an open mind. And we keep hanging on... InsyaAllah our efforts, our determination will bring us to Allah. Because every step that we take, it's for Him. Not for that dream career and some wonderful life in the upcoming years. Nor for us to be looked up upon by Others... 

I wish to share a piece of advice that my mother once told me...

"Yang paling penting... kita selalu doa yang kita cekal iman, cekal hati. Jadi kat mana pun kita kena campak, tak kira betapa susahnya kita, kita tetap boleh kuat... Kena berlapang dada, kalau apa apa cari Allah... k..."

Tears can fall down this face upon having the knowledge that there are those who feel like  like switching paths because of certain difficulties. How sure are we that the next path may not be as full of obstacles as the one we walking on right now? If it was made that easy for us to stop this journey without a great fight, the word 'persevere' will have no purpose to serve... 

So for me, hang on and keep on going... hang on hang on hang on...!

My prayers will be with you. But if the heart strongly calls for a change with the best interests of this ummah; because you feel that that Change will shape you into another person whom the ummah will benefit from..... then Istikharah. Search for Allah. Because He's waiting. He'd always wait.....