Bismikallaahumma abda'!

Imtihan qabuul, Rabu. 2 hari lagi.
Lakaran pembukaan program bagi musim saifi, Jumaat.
Persiapan untuk menjadi pelajar Al-Azhar. Bermula sekarang.


Ingat ana dalam doa antum. Semua pelajar juga mengharap yang sama...


Laa sahla illa maa ja'altahu sahla ya Allah.
Bismikallaahumma abda'!

Muhammad Nabiinaa

Ana tak pasti kenapa, tetapi lagu ini amat menyentuh hati ana. Menenangkan. Menambah kerinduan. Juga harapan. 

Kebelakangan ini ana terasa sangat letih... Doakan semangat ana terus kuat k?

Azhar and what comes after

Alhamdulillah, without realizing I've already spent one month here in Egypt. It's been a wonderful experience so far. I've seen, heard, and learnt so many new things. Things that I have never imagined that I would learn. This whole journey is surreal. The fact that I have been accepted by Al-Azhar University is unbelievable. I aspire to be among the best. To be someone who is academically excellent, well-read, well-versed. Someone who has great intellectual capability and good morals. Allah, I want to be that kind of person so badly... 

There are numerous things that I wish to do. I've actually come up with a 10-year plan, but I don't think I'll put down every single detail here; perhaps a rough idea of it will be enough insyaAllah. =)

Firstly, insyaAllah I'm going to give it my all here in Egypt. To do better than I have done before. Those stereotypical thoughts that people have about Azhar graduates need to be changed. My parents... I wish to make them proud. I don't want them to feel that whatever effort that they have put in for my upbringing is a waste. 

Throughout these 4 years or so, insyaAllah in addition to my studies in the university I plan to take quranic classes and enroll in a translation course. That, plus I hope to be consistent too in attending religious lectures in the nearby mosques. What needs to be done: figure out how to manage my time well, and set my priorities right. Something rather difficult, but insyaAllah, He will guide me through it...

After Azhar, I am rather keen on the idea of getting a diploma in either psychology or sociology, before moving on to a degree in it. Both fields interests me a lot. But whether I am able to bring myself to it, depends on a few factors...

1. The desire to study 

Every day I pray that I'll be able to graduate from Al-Azhar in 4 years. Not more than that please... but within this long period of time I might stumble upon other opportunities too, and there is certainly the possibility that my interest may shift to another particular field of study. 

Looking at things from another angle... when I reach my mid-twenties I may feel the urge to enter working life to gain new experience from there. Or, I might even want to dedicate the rest of my life to my family. Allahu a'lam.

2. Proficiency in the English language


Despite pursuing my studies in an Arabic religious institution, I hope my English will not deteriorate. If that happens - na'uzubillah - that may deter me from taking a diploma.

3. Financial aspect 

If there is the need to save up money first in order to further my studies, then I believe I should work hard for it myself insyaAllah. Unless Allah shows me another way. =)

4. Allah's will


He may have other plans for me. I don't know about that yet. =)


In the end after these achievements, I may not even join the workforce. Because I believe it is worthwhile to educate my children well. To be intelligent Muslims. That's also a contribution to society. Al-umm tasna'ul ummah. The mother shapes the ummah. May Allah guide me through this... really, I am not as intelligent compared to others. The people I meet here are... masyaAllah. Geniuses, I think. Doakan ana k? Doa ana buat semua...


................................................................................................


Other things included in my 10-year plan are very much personal. Most of them are wants, not needs. 'Ala kulli haal, let's live our lives every single day with a vision for tomorrow. Don't forget to ask Allah for His guidance, because we can't even move one step closer to our dreams without His help. =)

Pada suatu malam...

... teman ana memberitahu ana sesuatu.

"Fairuz, kat Mesir tak boleh jadi lembut-lembut sangat, tahu?"

Mungkin betul...

الشين والواو والقاف

إلهي، أشعر الشوق فلم تهدئ عيني عند ليالي. فلعل هذا الشوق من أطهر الشوق لا يبعدني منك. وإذا شعر كما أشعر في فؤادي فأرجو أن نلتقي على محبتك...

ربي إنك تعلم ما هو خير لنا في ديننا ومعايشنا وعواقب أمورنا، فإذا قدرت ألا تجمع قلوبنا فلا تجعله حادثا إلا ونحن راضون به. واهده بمن أحسن مني خلقا وإيمانا يا الله...

ربي أسلمت نفسي إليك وفوّضت أمري إليك...

سيتي نور فيروز

القاهرة، مصر

Pengalaman naik teksi paling kecoh!

Pengalaman menaiki teksi pada hari ini adalah yang paling kecoh bagi ana selama ana berada di sini. Setelah solat Jumaat di Gami' Musa Ibn Nasir, ana dan 4 orang lagi teman pun mendapatkan teksi untuk pulang. Harga taklah mahal, dari masjid tersebut di Hayyu Sabie' sampai ke Raba'ah (kawasan perumahan kami) cuma 5 junaih. Bererti, hanya sedolar lebih duit Singapura. Setelah berada di dalam teksi... ana duduk di hadapan dan teman-teman yang lain pula berhimpit sedikit di belakang. Ana pun seperti biasa menarik pintu dengan agak kuat kerana dah terbiasa dengan pintu-pintu degil teksi di sini. Tanpa disangka...

Pintu teksi pecah! Rasa berdosa tak terhingga! Panik, ana cuba tutup lagi.

Ammu teksi: Eih dah?! Istanna shuwayyah! (Apa ni!? Nanti nanti, tunggu dulu!)

Ana: *tak berapa dengar, cuba menutup pintu sekali lagi dengan panik*

Ammu teksi: ISTANNA YA ANIISAH! (Seperti: Oi puan, tunggu!)

Teman-teman: Awaaak, nanti dulu! 

Ana: Awak, takleh tutup!

Ammu teksi: *pukul bahu kiri ana*

Ana seperti nak marah. Ammu teksi pukul ana! Lelaki memukul ana!

Ana: *tersentak* Leih dharabtanii?! (Kenapa awak pukul saya?!)

Teman-teman: Awak, biarkan duluuu!

Ammu teksi: *keluar lalu membetulkan pintu teksinya dengan muka masam*

Ana: (kepada teman-teman ana) Awak, tak ada kita pegang aje lah pintu ni sambil ammu ni drive. Panas masyaAllah, tak tahan!

Teman-teman: Awak, tak ada apa-apa lah...

Ana: (kepada ammu) Afwan ya 'amm... *rasa berdosa*

Ammu teksi: Mmmmmmmmmmph. *dengus* 

Setelah 10 minit... 

Ammu teksi: *berjaya membetulkan pintu* 

Ana: *gembira* Alhamdulillah! =)

Ammu teksi: *campak screwdriver ke kaki ana* Hmmmmpf! 

(mungkin dalam hati ammu: Amik kau! Tulah, pecahkan pintu teksi aku kan!)

Ammu campak barang ke kaki ana! Ya Allah, pendam sahaja rasa geram. Ana pun sandarkan diri pada pintu, duduk hanya separuh daripada tempat duduk tu. Merajuk!

Setibanya di rumah... teman ana menceritakan peristiwa tadi kepada senior.

Teman ana: Kakaaak, nak tahu apa? Tadi Fairuz pecahkan pintu teksi!

Senior ana: *terhibur* Aku yang nampak gagah ni pun, selama 4 tahun kat sini tak pernah pecahkan pintu, tahu?

Rasa malu. Mampu tersenyum sahaja. ^__^"

Just to remind myself

I might write posts about the following topics in days to come, insyaAllah.


1. After Azhar
2. Cemburu
3. Afwan, mama dan abah
4. A wonderful First Time [ Possible, but most unlikely... don't ask why. =) ] 


Do vote which topic you would like me to write about first!
Hehe, tak lah. ana gurau je k. =) Ana akan tulis kalau diizinkan Allah. Kalau sudi, bacalah. =)

English classes

I can still vividly recall English classes during my crucial O Level year - 2007. My secondary 4 days. I used to look forward to each English lesson. Gosh, the comprehension texts that my teacher used to give us were absurdly difficult. It was hard to please her with our essays. Those who got praises from her would always feel so honored. =)

I miss those moments. I miss analyzing articles in class, commenting on current issues, discussing about anything and everything under the sun. In class, we used to talk casually about en bloc sales, the bird flu, elections, Barack Obama... everything. You name it. It was during secondary 4 that I really learnt to see things from different perspectives. I benefited a lot from every class, alhamdulillah.

Until now, I remember all the advice my teacher gave me. To try to be someone hypercritical. And... to omit redundant sentences in my essays (something which I have yet to master, I think ^__^"). The other thing about me is that I have the tendency to write 'abstract essays', as she puts it (which she likes, though she says that it's something risky to be done during 'O' levels - not every examiner appreciates abstract essays). At times I also write using informal language, leaving my essay with zero gravitas. Yet my teacher put in all effort to help me improve, and I am thankful for that. =) 

Now, it's rather funny that Arabs here try so hard to speak English when we speak to them in Arabic. It becomes so amusing when they try to make English words sound like Arabic ones. For instance, the name of the mall 'City Stars' becomes 'Sitii Storz'... and so on and so forth. There was this terribly entertaining moment when I asked a man for directions! Hehe.

Me: Lau samaht, fein maktabah Dar Es-Salaam? (Sorry, where's Dar Es-Salam Bookshop?)

Man: Oh. Besoids thore. 

Me: *trying hard to interpret what I thought was Arabic colloquial language* Eih? Eih besoids? (Um, what's besoids?)

Man: Besoids thore! Thore! *waves hand frantically to one corner*

Me: Oh, besides ya'nii. Syukron ya amm! (Oh, you mean besides. Thanks!)

I had the cheek to correct the man. ^__^" But seriously, it was so funny! Hehe.

________________________________________________________________

On a random note:

1. My friend pointed to an Arab family walking in the streets. I was dreaming of the day I'd meet my own family.

2. My friend was talking about Barack Obama. I was thinking of our president S. R. Nathan.

3. My friend was mentioning something about Ma'had Bu'uth (a junior college in Egypt). I was thinking about our local junior colleges.

4. My friend was singing 'Bilaadii, bilaa-aaa-dii' (Egypt's national anthem). I was silently singing 'Mari kita rakyat Singapura...'

5. My friend was talking about making new Arab friends, I was wondering about the well-being of my friends in Singapore.

6. My friend was musing at the thought of marrying an Arab man. I was silently wishing that I'd return to Singapore one day and meet Someone there. (Notice the capitalized 's').

Conclusion: I miss Singapore although Egypt is a wonderful country. =)

Peristiwa yang tidak diingini

Selama hampir 4 minggu ana berada di kota Kaherah, ana kira peristiwa yang baru berlaku kepada ana adalah yang paling menakutkan...

Seperti biasa, ana dan senior ana berjalan pulang ke rumah setelah solat tarawih di Masjid Raba'ah. Perjalanan tidaklah begitu jauh, cuma mengambil masa dalam 10 atau paling lama, 15 minit. Sewaktu berjalan, terlihat 3 orang kanak-kanak yang sedang bermain. Hati lembut melihat kanak-kanak miskin... dua orang kanak-kanak perempuan, berusia mungkin dalam 4 dan 7 tahun. Seorang lagi lelaki, barangkali 3 tahun.

Tetapi hati yang lembut tiba-tiba menjadi cemas bila tiba-tiba kanak-kanak tadi berlari ke arah kita, terus menarik-narik baju ana dan senior ana. "Enti musolli? Enti musolli?" Lagi-lagi ditarik baju, diraba-raba bahagian kocek kita. Saat paling mencemaskan, bila niqab juga ditarik. Sungguh, ana tak tahu kenapa tapi terasa semacam dihina. Namun sedaya upaya dihilangkan perasaan sebegitu kerana mereka masih kanak-kanak... sedaya upaya ana cuba wujudkan ihsan dalam diri. Ana tak tahu nak beri reaksi, nasib baik ada senior ana Alhamdulillah. Mula-mula bila dimarahi secara kasar, langsung tak diambil endah. Malah semakin kasar menarik baju dan meraba. Ya Allah, geli...

Kaki melangkah semakin cepat, sambil menolak tangan kanak-kanak tu. Rasa agak berdosa sebab berkasar dengan kanak-kanak yang miskin. Tapi perasaan takut melebihi semuanya. Bila dah terlalu lama macam tu... menjerit lah senior ana. ("Wallaahi! Mush adab kida!") Baru kanak-kanak tadi berlari meninggalkan kita. 

Episod ini telah merubah persepsi ana akan kanak-kanak di Mesir dan meninggalkan rasa takut untuk pulang pada waktu malam... semoga persepsi ini tak berkekalan. Ana tak nak selamanya ada perasaan sebegitu. =(

Expectations

"The ability to think critically, and to speak impeccable English is no longer a bonus for our asatizah. Instead, it is a requirement." 

Dr Albakri Ahmad, Dean of the MUIS Academy

Words which gave the most impact to me during our pre-departure days.

There are lots of things that need to be done now. 

Ilaahanaa sahhil umuuranaa.

Bila mama dah pandai email...

Oleh kerana agak kesuntukan masa untuk mengarang pengisian yang baru tentang Mesir, ana letakkan email yang ana kirimkan buat mama yang tersayang. Diolah sedikit agar sesuai untuk dibaca di sini. =)

From: snfairuz@hotmail.com

To: Ummi
Subject: Mamaaa

Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2010 13:15:42 +0800

Assalamu'alaikum

Mama, rindunya nak tatap muka mama! Harap-harap mama sihat aje, appointment doctor semua mama pergi tak? Hari-hari adik doakan doakan mama baik-baik. =)

Kat sini kan ma, orang Arab dia ganas lah. Semalam adik pergi bazaar dia kat Hussein tau, habis kena pijak kaki, tolak-tolak kepala lah, apa lah. Pandai-pandai aje orang Arab panggil adik 'Ya Amirah, Ya Amirah!'. Itu tak apa, tapi dia panggil kita semua orang Malaysia pula tu. Aduhai sedih juga dia tak kenal kita orang Singapore. Belum popular lagi lah kita ni agaknya =)  Yang kelakarnya, ada pekedai tu jerit-jerit kat kita 'Harga maaahal, harga maaahal!'. Hehe. Rasanya ada orang Melayu buli dia orang lah tu. Mama kat bazaar tu adik nampak banyak jubah cantik! Allah, teruja betul. Murah tau ma! 35 junaih aje. Kirakan duit sini, $8.35 aje. Kat Geylang pun tak ada jubah murah gitu kan? Nanti bila adik balik insyaAllah adik belikan mama k? Mama tunggu adik balik tau.

Berapa hari lepas kan ma, adik kena diarrhea tau. Nak tahu kenapa? Sebab adik pergi minum mango juice yang dah basi. Ingatkan memang mango juice Arab rasa lain... rupanya dah expired. Bila tuang kat singki untuk buang juice tu kan ma, juice dia warna orange campur hitam-hitam gitu! Nasib baik adik sorang yang minum. Perut bisa sangat-sangat, asyik ziarah bilik air aje. Tapi sekarang dah okay. Adik tak makan ubat pun tau, hehe. Jangan marah nanti mama cepat tua. =)

Dulu sebelum pergi sini, dengar orang cerita yang rumah banyak lipas dengan lalat. Tapi kat sini jarang-jarang aje ada, Alhamdulillah. Pagi tadi Naimah baru bunuh satu lipas. Adik tengokkan aje, sebab adik kat atas katil baca buku. 

Mama adik belum jadi lebih tembam k. Bila timbang berat badan pun masih 50 kg. Doakan tak naik badan. Takut berat nak pergi kuliah. Hehe. Kat sini makan tak banyak sangat, seberapa boleh nak jimat. Cuma, credit handphone habis. Waktu baru beli, adik top up 50 junaih ($12). Sms mama, sms kawan-kawan kat mesir, terus habis. Dugaan... teringin sangat nak berbual dengan mama lama-lama kat telefon. Tak puas hati bila kelmarin telefon mama, berbual cuma 20 minit terus dah terputus sebab mahal...

Adik baru pindah rumah baru, rumah dia besar tau ma! Bilik yang adik share dengan Naimah macam 3 kali lagi besar daripada bilik adik kat Singapore. Nanti adik hantar mama gambar k? Tapi dari segi keselesaan, rumah Singapore lah lagi selesa. Sini best sebab suasana belajar dia hidup, insyaAllah. =) Membosankan sebab mama tak ada. Kalau tidak, hari-hari bila adik balik rumah, adik cerita kat mama macam-macam sampai mama sangap. Hehe. 

Mama adik tulis sampai sini dulu k. Nanti mama penat pula nak baca. Mama jaga diri k. Assalamu'alaikum. =)

Sehari lepas hantar email tadi, terus dapat email daripada mama! Menangis sebab terharu, sambil tersenyum sebab geli hati. =)

To: snfairuz@hotmail.com

From: Ummi
Subject: RE: Mamaaa

Date: Tue, 11 August 2010 09: 11AM

salam adik,

Alhamdullillah mama sehat. Appointment doktor pun Alhamdulillah semua nya ok.

Rindu sangat dgn adik, dah lama kita tak berbual panjang. Tapi adik senantiasa dalam solat tahajjud, hajat dan istiharah mama. 

Mudah mudahan adik ditemukan dgn guru guru dan sahabat-sahabat yg bertaqwa. Pada saat mama jauh mereka lah org yg penting dalam hidup adik skrg ni. Jadi hargai mereka k.

Seramnya mama dengar cerita org arab ni tapi adik jgn kasar ngan dia orang k. Anak mama mesti senantiasa lembut tau.

Pasal jubah tu, belilah untuk adik, buat pakai gi kuliah. Thank you nak belikan mama, mesti mama lebih cantik dari adik ha! ha! Perasan.

Sakit tu ujian, Alhamdullilah adik tak sakit teruk tapi ubat cirit birit mama ada kirimkan, kalau tak digunakan simpan dalam fridge.

Jangan lupa kalau nak makan tengok expiry date.

Jangan gemuk tau nanti malas nak gi kulliyah.  Maintain k. Madu  diminum setiap pagi sebelum sahur. Kalau dah habis beli lagi.

Kalau ada benda penting ,adik sms mama je.mama akan call kalau perlu. Bila ada benda yg penting jan risau pasal bill telefon k.

Wah! best nya bilik besar tapi jangan lupakan bilik adik kat sini pulak. Kesian bilik yang dah berjasa, dia pun rindu bacaan quran adik tau.

Gambar adik pakai niqab cantiklah, mudah mudahan ikhlas kerana Allah.

k, adik sampai di sini je. Adik jaga diri dan iman.

Mama rindu adik sangat sangat.

Assalamualaikum.

...............

"Pasal jubah tu, belilah untuk adik, buat pakai gi kuliah. Thank you nak belikan mama, mesti mama lebih cantik dari adik ha! ha! Perasan." - Mama ana berbual macam ni? Tak percaya! Geli hati sangat-sangat ^__^

Terngiang-ngiang suara mama dalam minda. Teringat dakapan mama yang terakhir sebelum berangkat ke bumi Anbiya'. Terdengar gelak tawa mama. Terkenang jasanya, gurau sendanya.

Semoga perpisahan buat sementara waktu buatkan ana lebih menghargai seorang mama yang Tuhan hadirkan dalam hidup ana. Tuhan, izinkan pertemuan antara kami di suatu masa nanti.

Alhamdu kulluhu lillah

Alhamdulillah, after dreaming of Egypt, I am finally here. InsyaAllah when the time permits, I will find the time to blog in detail. =)