SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. felt so motivated to study after getting back shitty bio paper on friday. reached home early and tried doing chem. but bloody ionic chem is such a piss off. shit! and i slept away the whole afternoon. and tv-ed the whole night.

and today was great! christine's and samuel's wedding. feel really happy for them. i went to uncle jason's house in the morning. reached there late! sigh so mei qi and i couldnt join in with the other bridesmaids. felt so bad like couldnt do anything to help. but anyway, most of the time just standing around, or taking pictures, and just enjoying and observing everything. at night was the wedding dinner. sweetness, and my whole family was there. even chinese new year also dont have such full reunion. was nice seeing everyone again... especially meiqi. and everyone just looks so damn good. half the time i was thinking how i want my wedding to be like next time. hahaha.

thursday was really fun too! melvin's birthday celebration. i miss BMS so much.

sigh 4 weeks left. OMG!

5 more weeks! sigh. started studying already. everyday doing maths and another subject. have plans.. but this stupid fear. what if this doesnt work. maybe this is not the most productive way. oh come on! 12 years of studying please tell me i know my studying style and whats best for me! argh. anyway. got back some papers already. passed maths. E. on the freaking dot. SIGH. i could have done much better i know it. and then bloody bio paper 3. so not what i expected. terrible... anyway at least i improved generally i think. which is a good thing. which means i still have a little hope. which means i should aim higher. the highest. all As. i know i'm not dumb. hahaha. and the 5 weeks is enough to consolidate everything.

just aiya whatever.

do your best.

nothings beats that.

i now pronounce you chuck and larry is a much watch!!! its damn funny. and really a good de-stress movie. adam sandler always promises good jokes and laughter.

vietnam trip at the end of the year! with odac. i wanna go!!! must go. shit, gonna spend so much money after A's if i'm gonna do everything i'm planning to do. so, start saving. minimal spending this 5 weeks.

and bridesmaid-ing for cousin this sat. chi kind one.. so have to stop the groom from entering the house and all the chi drama thing. haha. cute.

hang in there everyone. almost there.

i just wish you could appear right now, and take me back to where you came from.

i think i should really just get over it. sigh. i miss him so much!

and i felt very affected and ARGHHHHH, when i saw on tv, the tigers of india are gonna be wiped out. those fucking poachers are killing them for their fur, selling their fur to tibetians or whatever. this senseless illegal trade among developing countries and ignorant political leaders who are denying the fact that their tigers are gonna be extinct. and those poachers just set traps in these suppose to be protected areas and shoot trapped tigers right in the brain. poach la but dont freaking kill all.................................... ALL the tigers. bloody idiots should be skinned alive.

SIGH. and how many other animals are facing extinction in the world. oceans are gonna be emptied, and byebye polar bear.

there are just too much human beings on this little earth.

i've been thinking a lot about what i wanna do after A's. and i think i'll be so damn happy after the last paper. i wanna read lots of books, play tales of symphonia, resident evil, and all the games i have in game cube, i wanna go cyling at pulau ubin, i wanna go to all the places in singapore i've not been to in a long time. i wanna catch up with all the people that i miss a lot. i wanna go back and play in alumni band. i wanna go overseas, wherever. I WANNA GO BACK TO SABAH. sigh. i wanna clean my room, and the house. i wanna learn cooking. i wanna work in the zoo. i wanna play lots of piano. i wanna have a nice family christmas, i wanna see the lights again. i wanna watch all the movies that i like and that i've missed. wanna watch oc, nip tuck, prison break, and all of it. i wanna climb mountains. i just want A's to be over soon. now.

but. wanna enjoy all that. its best that i suffer now. just 6 more weeks. shut myself off from all play. study. prepare. and just 8 days of papers. i must work hard! i am larger than A levels! i'll kill it! STUDY, PRAY, OWN!