so get over yourself darling.

haha. dryrun today was good. we tried the games... J2 station masters did their games again, and we had an overall briefing for ltc. haha, after today i feel more excited about ltc. more of observing J1s and reminiscing. its like the looking at juniors play during syf, and also, going through oec again, but as a senior.

oh my gosh!! its the last activity as an odacer! hai. really wanna make the best out of it. and get to know the J1s even more.

and i'm FLYING tomorrow! woooo hooo!!! sabah awaits me. and... after that its ltc. and hardcore studying!!! i must do this.

and all the after Alevels plan. hahahaha. movie marathons. with xiu and people! lol. sounds so fun can. all our favourite shows. of course this is so couch potato-ish. but still. hai. there are so many things i wanna do.

but thats still so far away.

everything nice and good, still so far away.

i am looking forward to our next year end meeting.

i am looking forward to the sabah trip. only 11 people going! how good is that! totally can bond easily and just have so much fun together.

i am looking forward to that one week break before BT2, with totally nothing on.


















help me get rid of this fear.
fuck.

you're an angel.

you made my night. thank you. although you have no idea, and its such a teeny weeny thing, but, at least i know you cared. well well, been quite easily irritated by people around me lately. as in strangers and passerbys. on the bus, in school. how rude, selfish and ugly can people get? sigh. barging in while we were having lessons, not even a sorry, and a slam on the door after leaving. biting nails like nobody's business on the bus, and rolling eyes just because the pregnant lady beside you is taking a bit of your space. throwing bloody plastic cups into can recycling bins. domineering, egoistic, everything your way. trying so hard to show everyone that you're the best. i'm sorry la these things just get to me. argh, just felt like complaining. after seeing several of these ugliness, cant help but generalize. this world just sucks. and sometimes you just have to a pain in the ass to survive. doesn't "nice" work?





because of all the injustice i feel, i'm becoming ruder and less tolerant too. the why should i care thing.

OH NO.

this should stop.



but then there is you. honest and real. i wish i could be like you.
dont wanna act anymore.

so long since i've blogged. cause i dont use com at home anymore. YAY. and now i'm in school's com lab. ive been wanting to blog so badly, about happy stuffs that happened over the past couple of weeks, about some petty and childish dislike towards someone but i dont care, about odac, about life for now, about friends... anyway, anyway anyway anyway, hai. been feeling quite sad that odac is gonna end soon. ltc left. and really what happens next? just feel glad that all the time's freed up, and there's so much time to study for a levels. whether i will really make use of all the time and really study, STUDY, like sit down at a table every day for at least 5 hours and be immune to all temptations and mug, is another story altogether. but i feel more sad than glad. that there's no more odac every wednesday and friday. because i always look forward to it, even if once in a while the activity is quite none of my business, but the people there always nvr fail to make my day and week a better one. and these couple of weeks when we're starting to get to know J1s better, find odac so much livelier. and i really liked that night when some of us went to kfc for dinner. just eating talking laughing... so simple yet means so much. JURONG! hahaha. i actually would really like to spend more time with J1s. but everything has to end so quickly. 5 more mins left, gonna make this quick. all the memories that odac bring, dunno how to decribe this feeling. and i'll just try my best to control and forgot all negative feelings towards...... and just make the best of the coming ltc. and just carry out my part well, and make a difference.

hahah okay that whole para was like non stop typing without much thinking. should try more of this since they say its more from the heart if you type like that.

looking forward to hols!

odac, odac outing, dryrun, geog trip to sabah, ltc, chem mock, maths mock, then BREAK.

so many great movies coming up.

the decorations were just awesome. and i'm really really thankful. thank you mummy and friends for doing this for me. and i really feel like i dont deserve something thats so big. and the whole party was G-R-E-A-T. hahahh. thanks to friends who came. odacers, pri sch friends, sean and jx. and also mummy's friends. and my family there. you guys made everything perfect.

i reached mum's house at around 6. and started to dress up. that dress. hahahah. i need pictures! and then sis helped me put on make up. and then dinner. wanling was the first to arrive! but sadly she couldnt stay on. and then odacers came. and pri sch friends. had dinner and stuff. then the sorta highlight started? according to mummy, philippino tradition, for girls to have a BIG 18th birthday. one by one 18 guys gave me roses and a little dance for 18 seconds. lol. hahahah it was super funny. the "dance". dad first, then mummy's friend, then odacers, pri sch friends and small kids. hahah. but it was really sweet. and then after that, 18 girls one by one gave me a candle each and made a wish for me. can cry really. really really really thank you very much. appreciate it a lot. mummy, then sisters and then girlfriends. i really cherish that moment the most. hahah hope all the wishes come true! haha. after that was cake and birthday song. and singing time! it was fun, all the music, and friends. and cool mummy. haha. some of us started to drink. and tequila is the best la. love it. haha if i drank more i think i'll be dead. and the party just went on... until some people got drunk! maybe not, just damn high i guess. hahahahha damn funny la looking at them go crazy. sad thing need to control. and sean and jx finally came. and then edmund and jason came too but left soon after that. so.. mum got a little crazy. and friends left. hahha.

i need to watch the video la. and the pictures.

THANK YOU EVERYBODY, especially mummy!!!

feel so damn bad, i need to make it up to her.

love the gifts too and i really got richer by A LOT. oh my. haha shocking.










yesterday. oh shit slacked at home. never do work at all!!! at night met up with mum with sis and went for dinner. at the village. haha watched movie after that. 28 weeks later. NICE! especially the soundtrack. omg la. and the whole story not bad la... quite exciting. previously was 28 days later.. next is 28 months later. getting lame. hahah. so many movies once again coming up and must watch. cillian murphy, eric bana, zodiac, shrek, POC, fantastic 4......

oh yeah LINKIN PARK ALBUM!!! gonna get it man. my all time favourite band.

looking forward to family dinner, joe's dinner, outing with ben and matt,

and the basketball match later!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahha.


shit la, gotta start revising soon. =(

nvm, everyday is a new beginning.

yeah right, not everything starts and ends on a daily basis.

so doesnt really work thinking that way.

sigh.

but still.

i miss BMS! we need to catch up darlings.

hahaha! happy birthday to me.

i loved yesterday! okay la actually quite alright. just really enjoyed having PT with the J1s. some of them are really funny! hope there are more times like this, before stepping down. ziyi cheryl and me led the PT. thought it wasnt very hiong for them, but still cut short a bit and let them play game, which is the fun part! hahaha. and thank you for the birthday song. hehe so sweet. least expected things happened. really appreciate it.

and after odac, met up with mum. and bought stuffs...

i really wonder whats later like.

just gonna have fun!














hai actually dunno la... all excitement crushed.








self-doubt is the worst thing ever.

i'm trying to control.

haha.

aiya forget it la......

hahahah birthday wish........................

yesterday was nice. watched spiderman in the morning. with cheryl, yuda and ziyi. haha. a lot of corny parts la! omg. especially when spiderman flew past that flag. HUH? what was that for? haha. and other lame lines like "i forgive you". bla bla bla. and that stupid news reporter when spiderman was trying to save MJ and fight the other 2. totally redundant. but it was okay la the whole movie.. topher grace cute as usual.

and study at serene center after that. was productive.. at least i finished one maths ws. ate at island creamery for the first time. not too bad. i need these times more often. gotta get at least A B C for the course that i want. haha. but next week's shit la. SPA. tests and tests. hai. and still one AQ undone. must i spend the rest of my 18th year feeling like crap. hahah. looking forward to J1s interview though. and seans play last night. haha. was good. finally met up with them after so long. but, dont blame me, somethings just wrong. perhaps with the gap we'll be better.

sigh.

please, something exciting!

out of the blue.

you.

i thought i said i'll start studying once oec is over. but i am still stuck here, wondering what to do, where to start. and the compiling of hw is really fun. day by day, my only aim is to finish whatever hw that is needed for the next day. but i still fail to do so. and how many months left to A levels? 6. i'm really pouring more shit onto myself. and my father has no idea what kind of shit results i got for BT1. and parents meet teachers is tomorrow. oh great. and some REALLY GOOD teacher with rockable english has no idea what to tell my dad tomorrow. but actually she's quite right. i always knew that i'm a very laid-back person. and always thought it's okay to be that way. until today when she just said it into my face that i'm very laid back, and must be more kanchiong. and with all the testimonial writing we have to do. bullshit. felt quite affected today, when my results suck, i have nothing much to write about my achievements in school, from class to cip to cca. okay, so all that is gonna grade me as a person. thank you very much. okay maybe so that's the only way it could be done, since results aint all that matter in life, and there has to be some way to show our other talents. hai whatever. must all the talents be MOE-based. and what you're like in class=what you're like outside. yeah i know i'm saying all these because i know in the end my 3 pages wont be very nice. so oh well, now, i shall concentrate on studies. and jump onto every chance to fill up the gaps in the self-write testimonial. haha. no la, i dunno.

dont have much time. around 7 weeks left to BT2.

and i need to find my passion back.

grow up richalynn!!!