VERTICAL MARATHON

Together, TLBS conquered this building, 60 storeys high. and very glad!

hahah. it was a fun day. we reached the place super early. and just studied, walked around. felt so nervous and excited. we kept planning and planning what to do. and setting targets for ourselves. after a while, felt quite motivated. and finally it was our turn. that moment at the starting point where all the saints queued up, felt really... special. and congrats to ZIYI for being so fast. 60 storeys, 9 mins. my gosh. anyway for me... ran up the first 10 storeys and just started to walk. really really really tiring and you just feel like stopping. but i didnt... adviced not to. haha. and well. hahaha. just up and up and up. nice to read motivational signs on the way up. and people stationed at certain floors who are really friendly. haha. cheryl and i finally reached. way behind the guys, and way behind our target. sigh! really that regretful feeling... sucks. could have done so much better, gone so much faster.

its really great experience. and we're gonna try again next year. hahaha. so fun.

TLBS!

haha. packed weekend over. another whole junk of things coming up ahead. 2 SPAs, 2 tests, and piano exam all packed into the first 3 days of next week.

yesterday had oec meeting. and we're almost there. a few more dryruns. some brushing up. and 27 april will be here very soon!

and today... ended school quite early. had lunch with grace, fen and jy. haha. nice. we should have more times like this la. and reached home, piano, solonight. later hw and hw and hw.

life. haha.

this morning's scripture reading sorta got to me. dont be so caught up with our own lives that we're insensitive to others and their needs.

its not all about you and your life and how much you wanna show the whole world what kind of life you're living. doesnt work, and it irritates.

haha. 2 weeks and 5 days.

mindoverbodymindoverbodymindoverbody!

omg vertical marathon tomorrow. and i'm damn nervous. did a few practices with TLBS after odac on wed and fri. BUT, i totally cant make it. it is really damn damn damn tiring. climbed up 3 sets of 20 storeys. and... well each time after 10 storeys can die already. its like that suan-ness in your legs and breathlessness. oh gosh... how i am suppose to even complete 60 storeys tomorrow.

but its okay! positive mindset! can one! just do it. just keep climbing. and think. a little bit more. its more of mind over body. I HOPE. just gonna keep going. dont wanna let TLBS down!!! not gonna let gravity pull me down. I MUST DO IT.

anyway... teambuilding day today organised for scholars and kids from hougang sec, st mag's and scgs! SAINTS ODAC did a great job today. improved from the last teambuilding day. hahah. thanks to mr lam for... those encouraging words. anyway, i was station master for the the great pearl caper. and this time i did it alone. so sad, the scholars didnt play it, and i couldnt experience their fun. haha. anyway the kids, they call them RCY, okay la... though very un-enthu. cant blame them though! maybe the whole teambuilding thing just didnt suit them. so... 5 groups, one by one came to play my game. and i guess they enjoyed it! cause it's quite exciting and really screamable when the ball comes rolling down and you have to keep it on the transport thing. haha. i did better then last time. less nervous and more clear instructions. thing to improve on: maybe i could observe people more and not just the game. haha. so congrats to odac!! and also the taskforce for doing such a detailed and GREAT job. next up! orientation!!! image-really-counts time.

so that was today. and after tomorrow, it's like less stress. though still got all sorts of shit like practical spas, music exams, blocktests... times like this... ONE STEP AT A TIME.

last night quite fun.. TLBS went to train then we went to the thai food restaurant there again to eat. haha. loves. and today after teambuilding. bunch of us went to macs to hang. haha. "gambled".

reached home, did some stuff. and slept until 12?? sigh. now very awake.

fucking HW.

hai hai hai hai. it should end now. enough. one more time and i'm gonna spoil everything.

piano lesson cancelled today. so i reached home quite early. and slept. another of those moody days.

cny was.......... err. really nothing. visited only 2 houses? and saw the rest during the reunion lunch. worst and worst each year. nothing to talk about to my cousins. actually got la... but all awkward and all that fuck. very sad. but it was nice to see them again... knowing how they're doing now.

argh.

another example of how screwed my family is. my cousin got married and my dad didnt tell me or my sis. and wow, we only knew during the lunch. and i totally felt great about that. sigh. he probably thinks that we are too busy to even care. just. fuck.

thanks. not involved in a family.








never mind.. optimism. no big deal.



stupid vertical marathon.

stupid music exams.

stupid block test.

stupid a levels.

stupid DRAC.

go figure.

stupid family.






there's more to life. waiting for my calling. haha.

time to think about what the hell to do in the future.





anyway went out with mum and sis, and zak on monday. watched midnight movie. dinner. pool. was nice.... but quarelled with sis again. i failed. only can meet them once in a while. and... i screwed it up. wow. pissing everyone around me off.

tuesday. with jx, matthew, benedict, melvin. CSed which wasnt fun this time.

cant believe you're lying and acting your way through everything. nice life you're living.

long bridge.

hypocrisy.










wednesday back to school. odac. trained for VM. ha. prepare to die.

haha. half the battle lost.

yay.

guy next street,

is impossible.





haha.

pleading to everyone out there: please leave real sharkfin's eating only to cnys. so that you can enjoy sharkfins for more years. and your children can have a taste of sharkfins.








no reunion dinner. but reunion lunch just now at some restaurant. was pretty nice. met the see-once-in-a-year relatives. wasnt much fun. no like group chatting. everyone on their own. very heartwarming indeed. sigh.

anyway. xin nian kuai le everyone.










SLACK TIME.

as usual.

oh god. our cat jazz died, and i didnt know. until now. what the fuck is wrong with me? i've been so busy. only home late at night. i know i've not been seeing him around, for like 2 days already. and i didnt bother to ask my sis or my dad.

so he jumped off the window in the middle of the night on monday? and people please tell me what day is it now. i only found out 3 days later. that my PET DIED.

please just kill me. how ignorant i can be.

why?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? and i dont understand why my sis didnt tell me.

what the fuck. really.















jazz...



























see how screwed up my family is. ZERO communication.

so now we are 3 selfish individuals living our own lives under one fucking roof. no sharing. not knowing what the fuck is going on with each other.

this is really depressing.

and cny. HA. no feelings of a bloody new year. no joy. no decorations. no food. no new clothes. nothing new. no cleaning up of house. no bloody cousins to visit. maybe only one or two uncles.

just.. whatever.

really nice.

really comforting.

really wonder how i've been able to stay optimistic about life.

no love.

alone at home.













perhaps since now it's chinese new year, i have to do something.


its really very sad.


hai. piano exam coming up. both practical and theory. 6 march and 10 march. and... i have to spend most of my time now and most of cny doing music and practising piano. i have to do it. do well. i must.

and screw studies. continue sleeping in lectures richalynn. you're really doing very well. just dont stop sleeping. a levels is still fucking far away.

so confused right now.

but oh well. one at a time.










valentines day was rather nice. had odac. after tt the "lonely hearts club" haha went to have dinner together at the thai shop there near our sch.. then went to the playground. and climbed onto that spider web thing. was really nice. just talking. love such times. cheryl, serene, ziyi, edmund, lester, nat and me. haha.

met melvin and jx after that.





guess i have to deal with all these on my own. no one really cares. so it seems. not that i'm blaming.. but everyone has their own set of problems. and mines not the worst. so just forget it. anyway i'm not one who really shares problems with people.

sometimes i just so hope there's someone who's really with me.

with me.














hai... and so it happens again. stuck. left there hanging. waiting. thinking. hoping.

but will never happen.

one sided.






no mood................................................

"i understand why you have to do this"

"thanks"

but i wish you didnt have to"

"me too"























"i love you"



















god.





back to work!!!

bio test. maths test. gp compre. chem tutorial.

BURN THEM ALL!!!!









haha.






06.

heya. sigh. super sssssssiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn. ARGH. already only a few hours left to next SCHOOL DAY. to a bloody monday. and, i have not finished up one work. and there's this stupid geog grp work, which totally sucks as well. and how did i spent the whole sunday afternoon? sleeping. damn cool. so cool. best thing to do. i tried ok... i sat down at my study table. my work in front of me. i so wanted to finish up everything. i was doing compre, and nothing i read got into my bloody head. every 10 mins i got up to walk and get something to eat. but there's freaking nothing in the fridge. i transfered my study area to the bed. ahahaha. a little better, but in the end still fell asleep.

sigh............................................................................ why the fuck? shouldnt be sleeping so much. shouldnt be feeling tired so easily. this period of life should be like the peak in terms of energy level.

just shut up.

but i think i know why doing anything is so sian. cause there is one thing that tops everything else in the world. for now. haha. OC!

that's the dumbest thing. but i have to finish it up ASAP. then i can go back to normal life. sigh.

gp movie in vivo, orienteering dryrun and solonight recce in pulau ubin. colour of that day: yellow and white. haha. SOOOOOOOO HAPPY CAN...............................................

week of oc. probably cant anymore next week.


OH NO!!! TEAMBUILDING GAMES.

shit.

weird week. not much homework. no odac. everyday going home early, and drowning myself in a world of OC. yeah i know it's kinda abit late to watch OC. but... haha. it's been long since i had this. every moment just wanna insert the cd and lie on the sofa and watch a show for hours straight. hahahha i like la. i know i'm wasting time and being hooked will cause me to neglect work. but ahh.. fuck it.

uh oh.

monday we watched APOCALYPTO. which is really goooooooooooooooooood. oh my god. touches your heart.

oh yeah which reminds me. our gp teacher miss lee who never fails to inspire me with her GREAT knowledge about everything in the world. exposing us to cultural literacy. and that time... she discussed with us about movies. how to make movie watching more meaningful. gotta learn. haha. which is to look out for signs, symbols, how the sounds, lightings, angle and distance from the camera mean something, words used. hahahah i know i'm making this sound totally boring. but anyway. gotta look deeper into things.

so, jx sean and i watch APOCALYPTO together.. trust me about movies babies.

tuesday onwards, OC. and OC. okay so it's only 2 days. i think i'm gonna spend CNY watching.

i hate work-related things now.

sigh............................................ wanna stick around here for some time. not here as in here. but you know, own world, doing own things.

















gotta sort things out.

sigh.










"i want this to work... no matter what"

for so long, every evening, the view from my block.

the different sunsets.

i dont wanna miss one.

haha. weekends are here! and i have nothing on. only thing to do now is tutorials and hw. and practise piano. and do music theory... and do odac stuffs.

sigh just feel like slacking and do nothing la... quite sadly i woke up at 1pm today.. and wasted a whole lot of hours... just ate and bathe and now i'm here.

this week was not bad.

wednesday.. cross country! at east coast park. odac didnt get to run... only qihui joshua and jason ran. and the rest of us were marshals. i didnt really do anything. just stood there and looked at people run past us . and miss ye was standing with me. and we just talked and observe people together haha. really really happy for jingyu, qihui and others, who managed to get into top 20!! the feeling must be great la. sadly in my 6 years of cross-country-ing.... NOTHING. haha.

after odac just stayed together.. ate at BK. then we went cycling for around 3hours... after tt some of us went to yumin's house to watch soccer! very fun!!!! hahahah. i really dont watch soccer and know nuts about it. but watching with a bunch of good friends is really nice! hahaha. the first goal from singapore was WOW la. then 2nd half the score became 1 all. and all those controversial shit that happened during the last 10 mins or so was really quite amusing. and so singapore won 2-1. tomorrow's match!!!

thursday... nothing much. school. first aid refresher. haha. then went to meet BMS!

friday... odac. oec dryrun 2. ok la.. better than last week. we oec taskforce have much to learn and improve on.

after tt we did PT! hahaha. very fun. we did pushups in one circle. one by one and i think we did around 1000 altogether already! haha.

then TLBS. hahahahha. vertical marathon group! "the litle black sheeps" hahahahhaha. ok. our first training together. climbed up and down the gallery. tiring ok! haha. die die. it's not so easy. 66 storeys. i really dont want to hold back the group. yuda, jason, ziyi, cheryl and me. =))))))))))) we can do it!!!!!!!

odac dinner after tt.

reached home watched tv and slept!











so many things to do, but i'm only doing not even half of them. sigh. seeing people down... and there's nothing i can do except to lend a listening ear. and even so, i feel so lousy cause i suck at that.


















i wanna watch all the movies in the world!!!!!!!!!