gonna say goodbye to 2007 soon!

phew.

heck of a year.

but first, the holidays were really great. with malaysia trip with odacers being the most memorable. i really really really enjoyed being with them, plus away from singapore, and doing the fun stuffs. i'll really miss this trip alot. and hope there is more to come. but the most sad thing is we didnt get to sit in the spaceshot. i really looked forward to that. oh well. there's always next time. but the feelings and joy we had there, only once. that's why its so special. and i had one of the best nights in the KL hotel room. just the few of us, playing crap card games and just laughing and laughing and laughing. i never had such a good laugh in a long time. haha. i love you all!

and then.. it was the one day trip to batam. with sean, richavel, cousin and friends. water skiing! it was really fun too. first time for me. and i only manage to do the knee one. and the real wakeboarding was a total failure. haha. try again next time. anyway the company and just one day of relaxation in the sun. NICE. plus cute dogs, very shuang boat ride, new friends, pro people doing wakeboarding. ahhh. i wanna go back!

christmas was pretty unforgettable too. first time getting really drunk. near 10 tequila shots. is that bad?? hahaha. anyway i totally embarrassed myself in front of my younger sis. i swear i'm never get that drunk again! it was once again spent in my mum's place. lots of her friends, karaoke, alcohol, fun people laughing and dancing. hahah. merry christmas everybody!!

bbss band juniors chalet! i always still forever miss bbss band. and also the trom outing. which only 5 ppl turned up? simin, lynn, aloy, bryant and i. hahah. pizza hut, walking, and then going all the way to ps to see deyong. haha. it was alright. at least we met up. trom section rocks forever!! i'll miss lynn too. wonder how is she doing over in australia? lynn!! if you read this, happy new year! hahah. the chalet was really fun!! haha. okay la. actually it was nice catching up with them. simin, kailing, and the juniors. talking about past band times and other stuffs. i love this kind of moments la.. sigh. however busy we get, i'll always think of them.

what else.. prom. which was alright only.. photos. and then pub with raine, kelvin, mei fung, jihyun. and movie with raine after that. miss them.

i dont seem to accomplish what i planned to do before the hols. like reading a lot of books, bla bla. and i still haven finished tales of symphonia. and piano lessons keep getting postponed. and a little strain in the relationship with my dad. house renovation nearly done. come visit my house people!

and i'm so happy i got a job as a teacher assistant in bbss! the best sch of my life. and i'm going back again. i'm really looking forward to it. feel so lucky!

new year resolution: take initiative at home and everywhere, and always be ready to catch the ball.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

i'm missing out quite a lot!

and i miss a lot of ppl.

and theres one thousand and one things i wanna do.

but i have no money.

and i wanna work.

but i can only start after christmas.

i cant wait for batam this sun with sis, sean, cousin and friends.

and also genting trip with odacers i bet its gonna be a blast!!

and christmas.

i miss

HELLLOOOOO BLOG.

oh god i've been so absorbed by games and comics and books and... you can say. all the boring stuffs. but cant help it la, so long never touch all those already. perhaps this is the last chance. and i've got no money. all spent on prom items and driving lessons. haha. i'm learning driving! woo hoo. probably take a year or so to get a license. how exciting is that! renovation going on in my house, it'll be just right to stay home and help my dad out in cleaning and whatever. anyway, must really thank the renovators people.

this sunday going batam! first time. and then the chalet, malaysia, christmas.

december is gonna end so soon. sigh gotta work right after christmas.

...

A's ended only 3 days ago, and it feels like months ago already. ahaha. well last night i was reminding that A freaking levels is over and that i should be REJOICING!!! and now i just feel like staying home all day and read books, play game whatever. of course i do wanna meet up with friends and all. but theres this weird feeling. anyway i have to try my best to stay home and help my dad out in cleaning up and getting things right. renovation is going on in my house. i cant wait for a brand new house!!! haha. but it is going on so inefficiently. today is a work day hellloooo where are the guys. haha. no la.. i guess there are understandable reasons.

i dont care la not gonna plan anything. and just live as it comes.

but still must make the best out of this holidays.

reading books is okay.
take good care of my pets.
practise hard for piano.
help my dad.
visit mum and charlynn.

thers a lot of things i wanna do!! but i guess i'll wait until after prom. which i dont really feel like going! sigh.

HAPPY HOILDAYS EVERYONE.
celebrate every day.

my online life is dead. haha. i'm now more interested in things like, reading. and its almost over!!! omg. that was really fast. just last week, i was complaining, fretting, so scared of monday and tuesday, thinking that it would be the longest 2 days of my life, cos of chem and geog, then bio and maths. and when it was over, i thought, that's it? all my worrying and anxiousness, waste of my soul's energy. haha. left bio and chem papers.

sigh. i think i really screwed gp paper 2, maths paper 1, and bio paper 2.

GP feels like a D or E.
Maths feels like a C.
Geog hopefully a B.

and i can get A for chem if i stop being complacent now!!

argh.

bio.....

didnt study today! oh god. i think i need sch badly.

farewell assembly was really nice! i should just slap myself for having such negative thoughts the day before. =(

the speeches really touched me. and the college hymn. and the performance by mr casey leong, mr leong, mr chan and miss lee, was a blast! really cracked the whole cc up. also the farewell thingy we prepared for mrs lim. all in all everything was just nice and sweet. i felt really thankful.

after that was civics. last civics ever. we had it in the kitchen. ahah. miss ye was ultra nice to have treated us pizza, cheesecake, snacks, and the little cute toy. i got a dragonfly. haha. our class until the end still very separated. but it was okay i guess. we're all used to it. took some photos. had a little celebration for jingyu too!

the day ended good. with little gift from miss lee.

it was a good closure.

sigh.

the end.

brings regret, and feelings of "should have".
and also, new resolutions.

thank you sa for all the moments and experiences, some of which i may never experience again.

last day of sch tomorrow!! officially. oh my god. but anyway i dont bloody feel anything. more like YES FINALLY OUT OF HERE! hai. thats quite sad because i've spent 2 years in this sch, and i should be missing all of it! i've gotta admit.. jc life is like... not good... compared to sec sch.. or pri sch.. hahaha. sigh, probably blame it on myself, for not being the most pro-active and fun-loving person around. or maybe blame it on fate.

actually well, cant be that bad! there are so many worth remembering. orientation, first 3 months, ODAC, some teachers... my class... despite not being bonded at all. also dunno why... sigh.

i just hope, tomorrow everyone will be warmer.

i really treasure all the friends i've made in sajc.

taking a break. its so scary. god damn it. 3 weeks left. aiming to get complex numbers, vectors, ionic eqm right by this week. and then start doing papers.. revising bio.. and geog. 3 WEEKS! cant imagine whats it like when gp paper is tomorrow! cant sleep, trying your best to stay calm. but i guess the best is still, study hard, study to the best, go into the exam hall with a just-whack attitude, pray, have common sense, and yeah. just do it. haha.

i love catsinecradle! i love jeff! i think he's damn sexy. i hope they win.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. felt so motivated to study after getting back shitty bio paper on friday. reached home early and tried doing chem. but bloody ionic chem is such a piss off. shit! and i slept away the whole afternoon. and tv-ed the whole night.

and today was great! christine's and samuel's wedding. feel really happy for them. i went to uncle jason's house in the morning. reached there late! sigh so mei qi and i couldnt join in with the other bridesmaids. felt so bad like couldnt do anything to help. but anyway, most of the time just standing around, or taking pictures, and just enjoying and observing everything. at night was the wedding dinner. sweetness, and my whole family was there. even chinese new year also dont have such full reunion. was nice seeing everyone again... especially meiqi. and everyone just looks so damn good. half the time i was thinking how i want my wedding to be like next time. hahaha.

thursday was really fun too! melvin's birthday celebration. i miss BMS so much.

sigh 4 weeks left. OMG!

5 more weeks! sigh. started studying already. everyday doing maths and another subject. have plans.. but this stupid fear. what if this doesnt work. maybe this is not the most productive way. oh come on! 12 years of studying please tell me i know my studying style and whats best for me! argh. anyway. got back some papers already. passed maths. E. on the freaking dot. SIGH. i could have done much better i know it. and then bloody bio paper 3. so not what i expected. terrible... anyway at least i improved generally i think. which is a good thing. which means i still have a little hope. which means i should aim higher. the highest. all As. i know i'm not dumb. hahaha. and the 5 weeks is enough to consolidate everything.

just aiya whatever.

do your best.

nothings beats that.

i now pronounce you chuck and larry is a much watch!!! its damn funny. and really a good de-stress movie. adam sandler always promises good jokes and laughter.

vietnam trip at the end of the year! with odac. i wanna go!!! must go. shit, gonna spend so much money after A's if i'm gonna do everything i'm planning to do. so, start saving. minimal spending this 5 weeks.

and bridesmaid-ing for cousin this sat. chi kind one.. so have to stop the groom from entering the house and all the chi drama thing. haha. cute.

hang in there everyone. almost there.

i just wish you could appear right now, and take me back to where you came from.

i think i should really just get over it. sigh. i miss him so much!

and i felt very affected and ARGHHHHH, when i saw on tv, the tigers of india are gonna be wiped out. those fucking poachers are killing them for their fur, selling their fur to tibetians or whatever. this senseless illegal trade among developing countries and ignorant political leaders who are denying the fact that their tigers are gonna be extinct. and those poachers just set traps in these suppose to be protected areas and shoot trapped tigers right in the brain. poach la but dont freaking kill all.................................... ALL the tigers. bloody idiots should be skinned alive.

SIGH. and how many other animals are facing extinction in the world. oceans are gonna be emptied, and byebye polar bear.

there are just too much human beings on this little earth.

i've been thinking a lot about what i wanna do after A's. and i think i'll be so damn happy after the last paper. i wanna read lots of books, play tales of symphonia, resident evil, and all the games i have in game cube, i wanna go cyling at pulau ubin, i wanna go to all the places in singapore i've not been to in a long time. i wanna catch up with all the people that i miss a lot. i wanna go back and play in alumni band. i wanna go overseas, wherever. I WANNA GO BACK TO SABAH. sigh. i wanna clean my room, and the house. i wanna learn cooking. i wanna work in the zoo. i wanna play lots of piano. i wanna have a nice family christmas, i wanna see the lights again. i wanna watch all the movies that i like and that i've missed. wanna watch oc, nip tuck, prison break, and all of it. i wanna climb mountains. i just want A's to be over soon. now.

but. wanna enjoy all that. its best that i suffer now. just 6 more weeks. shut myself off from all play. study. prepare. and just 8 days of papers. i must work hard! i am larger than A levels! i'll kill it! STUDY, PRAY, OWN!

i'll be there for you

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide

You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

yesterday was one full of SHIT day. sigh. and i decided, forget it i need a break. i cant carry on like that. i cant concentrate, and your bloody presence just makes me feel like dropping everything and leave. argh! just one of those days when i feel like suddenly i have no friends in the world. fuck! sigh. so i reached home at around 5, and relaxed on the sofa with the tv, and my cat on me. slept until 1 today. what a waste. and i still feel no better now, with this transparent barrier between me and the notes.

first was piano lesson. i totally sucked. never mind that.

and then comment number 1,

2

and

3.

if thats really the case, till then.







and i'm not suppose to feel unhappy in the midst of prelims.

never mind. forget everything. clear my mind. pray.

i must do well for prelims.

okay good. one day left to prelims. cheer hip hip hooray you're one step closer to the end.

dp should give more talks like these to us, cause she's really good at it. unlike....... urgh, please.

never never give up.

haha.

anyway. really hope all that studying can up my grades for a bit. sigh. come on i just gotta think harder and deeper.

and stay over matt's house with them was fun. haha. fun studying.

KEEP GOING EVERYONE.

one f-fing week left to prelims. and i'm just gonna try my bloody best. and hope to attain Ds and above. and i believe i can do this!

haha.

this week's been good. jiawei's birthday dinner on monday. was fun! we ate in seoul garden. and... i got to know 2 friends who were from bbss and i've never talked to before. hahaha. they're damn funny. its been long since such things happen...

and a lot of times studying with sean outside. which i guess was pretty productive.

then fri mummy's birthday! party at her house. invited all her friends. so many friends! all filipinos. and they're freaking wild and open, which is great! as usual karaoke, food, dancing, craziness. hahah. very fun la. but my sisters and i.. our energy level cant level up to theirs. so most of the time we were just watching people. i shy la i'm just not the entertaining type. haha. i've got to REALLY PARTY!!!!!!!! hahah. after A's. everything after A's. haha. and then my dad came... i guess my mum's really happy. and yeah.. happy birthday mummy.

and yesterday. study with sean, and movie with sean and sis! haha. finally got to catch a movie. dead silence. not bad! soundtrack damn good. and a good ending. haha. love this kind of horror la. and then after that sean came over and we studied... till 3 plus.

sigh just 3 more months till EVERYTHING is over. last paper 22nd nov. omg cant imagine how it feels walking out of that hall and that sch for almost the last time. I CANT FREAKING WAIT. more of happy then sad.


STUDY!!!!!!

haha haha haha haha. i love this week. 5 days holiday... hopefully its gonna c... r... a...w... l... by. but when you're studying, ha.

sigh. not gonna talk about bloody studies.

not gonna say how many days weeks months left.







i dunno.

seems like there's nothing much to talk about.

except, the mr lam's farewell last sat. was pretty alright. played basketball. with some j1s and angus and kelvin. haha. FUN! and then... dinner, performances, cake cutting, presents, speech from mr lam. nothing emo. yeah.. like i said in mrlams note, odac was one heck of an experience. haha.

the making of the album was fun! the day before we went to city link to get the album and photos and stuff.. and sat down to do it. simple thing, greatly enjoyed by me, with fellow odacers. =)

last week dunno doing what also.. like got study but nvr study. sigh.

disturbia, 1408, and many other i wanna watch movies.
should i???

sacrifice, self-disciplined.

yeah yeah and see what i'm doing now.

miss you!

another week passed by so damn quickly. with learning fest taking up 2 days. it was pretty alright. went for the impressions at first sight thing. and puppetry, and comic drawing. haha. studied a little here and there. simpsons with rmb. oh yeah went back to band on wednesday! and decided to play for the concert. haha. tt feeling, dunno how to describe la. just so heartwarming. playing trombone again after so many months. plus with the juniors. =) and yeah like mr goh said, this batch's really fun! like damn noisy, but fun. hahah. i bet they're gonna go far too.

and the concert on sat! metamorphosis. it was really enjoyable. hanging around with my section. waiting for our turn to play.. talking and stuff. playing with them on stage... sigh. i so miss band. and will always miss it. something tt i really cant let go of. after A levels, revive alumni!

after tt night keep thinking back, the band times in bbss. seniors leaving, juniors coming in. then our turn to leave... sigh.

trom section over the years...

hahah..

this is great!!

i gotta study!!

i lost it halfway.

9 pointer. (not a big deal, but still..)

now nearing the end.

and still getting Us. maths U. chem U. GP U. bio S. argh. hopefully can pass geog. if not really... congratulations richalynn.

had a little chat with miss ye yesterday.

"miss ye.... am i in deep shit."

miss ye: giggles. "no la. treading shit only"

okay... sigh. and then she went on saying.. those who scored As and Bs in A levels, normally wont have such bad results in the common tests and stuff. bla bla.. and just have to put in more effort. much more.

its so hard not to think that i'm so dead for A levels. look at the results now. and see how much time i have left. how much more can be done? are As and Bs possible?

what have i gotten myself into. where was i the last one year and a half.

there is a very thin line between believing in yourself and not giving up hope, and facing reality.

and i'm really panicking now. and still blogging. what the fuck. 3 more months. just 3 more. i dont wanna walk out of hall after the last paper, hoping that i could start all over again. no. i wanna enjoy the holidays.

dont lose hope. give your all, and never give up.
impossible is nothing.
miracles do happen.
Dear God... allow me to make the big leap.

new week!! better follow my study plans.. 7 weeks left to prelims, and another month to A's. sigh. life shouldnt be about counting down, but living each day not knowing whats coming up next, making each day count. to make it count. hahah. reminds me of titanic. 3 movies in a week. die hard, harry potter, and death proof. study sessions with raine and wesley in spinelli. farewell party. and RMB studying session. LOVES! thank you J1s for the farewell. sad that there wasnt much time for us to bond better. oh wells, at least theres something, and will really miss odac. and rmb is always so exciting.

study study study.

piano piano piano.

movie movie movie.

studying has officially started. everyday after sch with raine at spinelli. hopefully this is gonna work. keep reading, keep practicing. just 4 months left. its gonna be over soon. so soon. last lap. dont give up, you dont wanna regret. as expected, did really shityly for block test 2. sigh. haiya what the fuck la. looking forward to farewell party later.. wonder how will it be like. one year ago, we did it for our seniors. and now its our turn... have we all gone through the same things? felt the same feelings?

haha.

i love studying.

block fucking test 2 is finally over. haha. it was depressing, disastrous, demoralising. sigh. SIGH. everything sucked and the only paper i feel confident of passing is probably bio paper 1? forget it. move on. work harder next time.

so... i want to watch die hard. and i want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. body clock screwed since holidays and ever since i have difficulties sleeping. have been sleeping at 4 and 5 am in the mornings. hai. and the days ahead are... a bloody routine. i'm gonna start hardcore studying soon. like sunday. hopefully. all planned out. cant afford to waste any more time. 2 months left to prelims. 2 months to revise evey goddamn thing. but, really look forward to later. kbox with yumin and friends!!! haha. and minqi's green thing. and rmb. and pri sch birthday gathering. and farewell party. and rapture? thankfully for these things, there is some life in my life. sigh.

piano teacher cancelled lesson again. =( come on, dont lose the passion.

gonna rest, slack, tv!!

shawshank redemption, DAMN GOOD MOVIE!!!

and i still miss sabah ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

i'm gonna fail.................................... argh. fuck la. i did study, maybe not hard enough. and all the papers so far, so bloody tough. gonna get triple Us. gonna feel so great after that. she bloody showed us the normal progressions of our seniors from bt1 to A's, and said no way we can make big leaps unless "you're really that special". thank you very much and shut up.

but. sigh. i'll study. 4 months left. less com, less tv.

18 years old. really the TIME of our lives.

i really miss the times spent with

and

and




i miss everything.

free from reality.

...

fake thoughts.

things said and done just to fit the big picture, and make everything seem pretty and pleasant.

is that it?

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Time Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

well well... this week, i've studied quite abit, i think. i skipped chem and maths mock. chem was not on purpose. sigh. its like i'm just floating around, doing what i'm suppose to do, with no meaning whatsoever. back to this shit feeling again. haha. anyway... let me recall the past few days.. jogging with dearest cheryl in the morning at jurong west stadium. meeting up with JURONG to play basketball. studying alone at jurong east library. and then overnight study with xiu, cheryl and ziyi, which totally didnt work for me. brain block after 2am. got back home to sleep at 6am. and then study with tianbee next day. at jurong east library. arcade at night. wednesday, odac dinner! hahaha. at seoul garden in marina square. it was pretty alright. nice food, lots of photos. met sean after that!! and elina too. i think thats the best thing that happened this week. we caught up quite abit. and walked from esplanade to town... just felt so good finally seeing him again. anyway... sigh. hahah thursday, studying with matt and ben! it was a first. as usual we were all late, and tried national library. but no. and then went to some hdb block nearby, and studied at a study corner over there. ahahahha weirdest place to study. but it was quite good. dinner at bugis food village, 1 hour study at national library, and taking pictures again. yesterday... stayed home to study. actually not bad, i mentioned "study" quite a few times. life now should be: four walls, table and chair, radio, and all the study shit. and one week left, bio and geog untouched. i dunno... feel so scared now. 4 months left to A's. should have started revising like 3 months ago... but never mind. look forward. treasure all the remaining seconds left. think of my target, think of my dream, think of all the things i wanna do after A levels, think of leaving the hall next year smiling, heaving big sighs of relief. i still miss that place, that river.RMB! =D

seanie.

lock the doors.
we'll leave the world outside.
just you and me.















cant wait to return.

saints odac 0607

i really enjoyed hanging out with xiu, jason, ziyi and erkimwee.blogspot.com in xiu's house... watching movies and getting drunk. maybe not. hahah. but we were sleepy and xiu and jason were like saying some lame nonsense like they were drunk. but quite funny la. hahah. we watched just follow law. and then one by one, we fell asleep in the middle of the show, leaving jason alone in the end, laughing by himself. damn joke can! was sooooo funny when i woke up for a moment and i saw that scene: jason sitting up and LOL-ing all by himself at the show in the middle of all of us, all lying down, dead asleep. haha. anyway after that, 3am, we watched apocalypto. xiu, jason and me. but i died halfway. we slept till 8 am next day. had macs breakfast. watched blood diamond with bloody screwed up subtitles, which totally spoiled the show. so forget it. we left xiu's house at 11. and.. i got home. slept till 7. omg... so i wasted one whole sunday.

haha, so. LTC 2007. was another success. and really thank you very much to the taskforce, jason and xiu, for all their efforts before and during the camp. everyone did their part so well. especially the advisors and group leaders. i guess the J1s really learnt a lot, and looks up to them. my role during the camp... was being a station master, a log-er and holding PT sessions. haha. and during the camp had many last minute roles to play. like replacing absent J1s for their games, and being a climber in the belay school. was part of "the others" too. 9 of us. hahaha, but we were happy doing our background jobs together. i should just slap myself for being so narrow-minded during the first day. shut up richalynn. oh well. anyway, unlike the advisors and group leaders, i had minimal interaction with the J1s. which is quite sad. except during the campfire, got to dance with some of them during the friendship dance. the campfire was awesome!!! i really enjoyed it a lot. the fire was goooood, and great emcees( weihao and serene!), and pro guitarists (yuda, ziyi and weihao!!!). some funny skits by J1s. and the last part when all of us J2s gathered in front of the J1s and sang "at the beginning" for everyone. 24 of us, full strength. felt really touched, and hopefully we touched the J1s too. we huddled together and shouted "FULL STRENGTH!" how loud and full it sound. and that group hug after that. cant describe how i felt but it was the happiest moment. it is the happiest moment. keep the odac flame burning brightly ever.

it's not over yet. there is still egg auction i hope. really really hope. and there's J2 farewell. and it will never be over. deep in our hearts we share a memory, a family, somewhere we can call home.

the odac journey has been a long long one. and i will miss every single part of it. from being a junior, to being left alone and planning our own activities for ourselves, to being a senior. so many things happened, so many things discovered, so many things learnt. making up the bulk of JC life, odac has brought endless joy, has made me grown the most in my life. and i'm really really thankful. sometimes in life last minute decisions are the best decisions one can ever make. and i'm thankful for that. thank you all the odac teachers, mr lam for being a role model, an inspiring teacher, a very sensible and great leader to us. thank you seniors for all the knowledge and fun activities you have brought to us, and the very memorable oec and ltc and climb up mt ophir. thank you fellow odacers for everything. from day 1 until... for all the joy, help, encouragement, support, fun, company and friendship... for helping me grow as a person. for making life in odac exciting. for sustaining my faith in odac. for being so funny and fun-loving people. for all the dinners and chilling sessions. for all the strengths in you that i so admire and wanna learn from. for so so SO many other things from every single one of you. i could just list everything one by one. but i'll leave that to next time. and also, thank you juniors. i'm really thankful that our paths crossed. thankful to have known yet another fun bunch of people. and i really enjoyed having PT sessions with you all. haha. really hope that J1/J2 dinner will happen soon!!! sigh. and just thank you ODAC itself, for exposing me to the outdoor activities, rockclimbing, the water sports, running, trekking, cycling, mountain climbing... proposal writing.. station mastering, facilitating, dry-running... all these, that brought a whole new world to me. a world that i love tremendously. made me discover things about myself. my strengths.. where and what i truly enjoy... stuffs that could aid me in the future. its just SO MUCH that odac has brought into my life, making it so painful to let go. making you think what's next...

i'm just gonna look back at all that has happened right now.

i miss sabah... i miss kinabatangan river... i miss bilit adventure lodge... i miss aloy... i miss the ox-bow lake... i miss the long house... i miss the guides...

okay enough. back to reality in singapore. =(

back to ltc, back to studies, back to A levels.

i want to get out of here. i want to see the world. i want to meet real, happy people.

step in lodge

night market

grace and me at the river village.

west coast of sabah

kota kinabalu town.

post modern building.

at the post modern building.

my skills.

kinabalu park

miss seow and me at the garden

grace and me at the rose garden!

outside long house.

inside long house.

inside longhouse rooms!

on the lorry...

where my phone fell.

sabah tea plantation.

after which there goes my phone on the 3rd day.

sabah, land below the wind.

hellooooo i'm back from sabah after 6 days which flew past so quickly. SIGH. i was really feeling damn sad when it was time to leave the place.. anyway, the whole trip was really enjoyable and i have no regrets going. i feel like i should live in that kind of area la, because i totally love it! especially envy the lifestyles people have there. those that live in the water village. and those orang sungei (water people). they just live by the river and in the forests. simple lives, yet happy people. and i really like it there! wildlife and nature. this trip sorta inspired even more, about what i wanna do in my life. what kind of job that i want. but the problem is, where to start? i am going to miss sabah a lot a lot a lot. and i MUST go back there somehow. a lot of things happened during the trip, and i've written everything in my journal... so i'm just gonna talk about the more memorable things. anyway we arrived in kota kinabalu, the sorta capital of sabah, and every night we stayed in different places. from lodges to longhouses to resorts. the best places were the LONG HOUSE AT SABAH TEA, and BILIT ADVENTURE LODGE ALONG KINABATANGAN RIVER. so at sabah tea, we were on our way to the river to play and do field work. and we rode on a lorry! with chairs at the back, but all of us stood up and just enjoyed the BEAUTIFUL scenery of tea plantations, the breeze, and the lorry went up slope... and down slope.. around the tea plantations. DAMN SHIOK. anyway, it was a jerky ride all the way, and one sudden big jerk, my phone flew out of my hands, out of the lorry, onto the ground, and one of the wheels rolled over it. WOW. so my phone now is like flattened. but the joke is despite the heavy damage i still can pick up calls and still can vibrate. all of us were LOL-ing when we found out. so thank god sim card and memory card unhurt. okay that was the first thing. next few are like damn fun and enjoyable. i got bitten by 3 leeches. hahahah during the night walk in the forest. first time in my life. and bloody first bite was on my back! all of us wore long pants and long sleeves, but somehow it got up onto my back. totally freaked out when i felt it. thin and soft. anyway i showed miss seow and grace, and the guide helped me remove it. hahaha. damn sick la leeches, the way they crawl and everything. and who said you cant feel leeches. its either itchy or painful when they bite. hahah. so.. during the nightwalk, we saw quite a few creatures. spiders, giant milipedes that rolled up into cute colourful balls, frogs, a bat, tractorpillars? a kingfisher... and some weird plants, and many leeches. tiger leeches. stripes on them. quite cute la. but the way they survive, omg nobody likes them. hahah. anyway this night walk happened at bilit adventure lodge, my favourite! its like along kinabatangan river and in a forest. we did river cruise there. damn shiok too. nice view, nice breeze, nice boat, nice guide, ALOY!!!! he's like the BEST guide throughout our whole trip. during the river cruise we saw in the forests, an orang utan! high above on the tree. and also proboscis monkeys, only found in that part of malaysia. also long tailed macaques, storks, a green viper sleeping, and another black and yellow snake also sleeping on the branches of the trees hanging above the waters. we saw most of them close up from out boats. its really WILDLIFE. damn cool. okay another highlight was the ox-bow lake! we trekked through the forest and reached this lake. there was a little hut and some steps leading to a floating platform. some of us got onto it, and fed ikan bilis with rice grains. haha. i managed to catch one ikan bilis. lol. there were swarms and swarms of them. it was quite fun. then aloy the guide told us to go for a swim. hahahahhaha and just on the spur of the moment, we went into the lake!!! it was damn nice!!!!!!! anyway only like some of us went in with the guides. miss seow, grace, cheryl, nicolette, linus and eugene. hahah. damn fun. and it was a clay bed in the river. aloy was damn funny. we masked out faces with the clay, had clay fights, made different hairstyles with clay for each other, swam across the lake, shouted and made noises with clear echoes, soaked in the sun, stood in one circle and did the holding breath thing...... it was just pure fun and great company. this trip, i did a lot of first time things. going into a real river, leech bites, real wildlife, going into a clay lake, lorry ride... i'm gonna miss this a lot. really wonderful memories. other stuffs that happened were visiting water villages, man-made sulphur hotsprings, tree top canopy walk, hours of travel from one place to another, visiting the sepilok orang utan rehabilitation centre, the gomantong limestone caves, city tours, a garden, looking at mount kinabalu, firefiles, luminous mushrooms, a lot of stars, good food, the debrief sessions, spotting crocs along river banks... still miss the river the most. with the nicest guides over there. especially aloy! he shared with us so many things, and was so happy-go-lucky person. so nice that he stayed up with us to spot crocs and looking at the river in the middle of the night. dunno how to describe that scenery, the fog, river and the forests... spooky, peaceful, romantic, quiet... sigh. i wanna live a life by the river la.. so simple, happy, and waking up every morning not knowing what to expect. this trip is one of the highlights of my life so far. so inspiring!!! and 13 of us got to know each other better as the days went by. i think we're one fun bunch! different characters, arts and science, H1 and h2s coming together. hahah. really enjoyed hanging out and sleeping together with miss seow and grace. WE'RE THE MAN! hahah. also got to discover things about myself, both good and bad... so meaningful. at least our paths crossed. at least there is the memory. i'll miss this so so much.

so get over yourself darling.

haha. dryrun today was good. we tried the games... J2 station masters did their games again, and we had an overall briefing for ltc. haha, after today i feel more excited about ltc. more of observing J1s and reminiscing. its like the looking at juniors play during syf, and also, going through oec again, but as a senior.

oh my gosh!! its the last activity as an odacer! hai. really wanna make the best out of it. and get to know the J1s even more.

and i'm FLYING tomorrow! woooo hooo!!! sabah awaits me. and... after that its ltc. and hardcore studying!!! i must do this.

and all the after Alevels plan. hahahaha. movie marathons. with xiu and people! lol. sounds so fun can. all our favourite shows. of course this is so couch potato-ish. but still. hai. there are so many things i wanna do.

but thats still so far away.

everything nice and good, still so far away.

i am looking forward to our next year end meeting.

i am looking forward to the sabah trip. only 11 people going! how good is that! totally can bond easily and just have so much fun together.

i am looking forward to that one week break before BT2, with totally nothing on.


















help me get rid of this fear.
fuck.

you're an angel.

you made my night. thank you. although you have no idea, and its such a teeny weeny thing, but, at least i know you cared. well well, been quite easily irritated by people around me lately. as in strangers and passerbys. on the bus, in school. how rude, selfish and ugly can people get? sigh. barging in while we were having lessons, not even a sorry, and a slam on the door after leaving. biting nails like nobody's business on the bus, and rolling eyes just because the pregnant lady beside you is taking a bit of your space. throwing bloody plastic cups into can recycling bins. domineering, egoistic, everything your way. trying so hard to show everyone that you're the best. i'm sorry la these things just get to me. argh, just felt like complaining. after seeing several of these ugliness, cant help but generalize. this world just sucks. and sometimes you just have to a pain in the ass to survive. doesn't "nice" work?





because of all the injustice i feel, i'm becoming ruder and less tolerant too. the why should i care thing.

OH NO.

this should stop.



but then there is you. honest and real. i wish i could be like you.
dont wanna act anymore.

so long since i've blogged. cause i dont use com at home anymore. YAY. and now i'm in school's com lab. ive been wanting to blog so badly, about happy stuffs that happened over the past couple of weeks, about some petty and childish dislike towards someone but i dont care, about odac, about life for now, about friends... anyway, anyway anyway anyway, hai. been feeling quite sad that odac is gonna end soon. ltc left. and really what happens next? just feel glad that all the time's freed up, and there's so much time to study for a levels. whether i will really make use of all the time and really study, STUDY, like sit down at a table every day for at least 5 hours and be immune to all temptations and mug, is another story altogether. but i feel more sad than glad. that there's no more odac every wednesday and friday. because i always look forward to it, even if once in a while the activity is quite none of my business, but the people there always nvr fail to make my day and week a better one. and these couple of weeks when we're starting to get to know J1s better, find odac so much livelier. and i really liked that night when some of us went to kfc for dinner. just eating talking laughing... so simple yet means so much. JURONG! hahaha. i actually would really like to spend more time with J1s. but everything has to end so quickly. 5 more mins left, gonna make this quick. all the memories that odac bring, dunno how to decribe this feeling. and i'll just try my best to control and forgot all negative feelings towards...... and just make the best of the coming ltc. and just carry out my part well, and make a difference.

hahah okay that whole para was like non stop typing without much thinking. should try more of this since they say its more from the heart if you type like that.

looking forward to hols!

odac, odac outing, dryrun, geog trip to sabah, ltc, chem mock, maths mock, then BREAK.

so many great movies coming up.

the decorations were just awesome. and i'm really really thankful. thank you mummy and friends for doing this for me. and i really feel like i dont deserve something thats so big. and the whole party was G-R-E-A-T. hahahh. thanks to friends who came. odacers, pri sch friends, sean and jx. and also mummy's friends. and my family there. you guys made everything perfect.

i reached mum's house at around 6. and started to dress up. that dress. hahahah. i need pictures! and then sis helped me put on make up. and then dinner. wanling was the first to arrive! but sadly she couldnt stay on. and then odacers came. and pri sch friends. had dinner and stuff. then the sorta highlight started? according to mummy, philippino tradition, for girls to have a BIG 18th birthday. one by one 18 guys gave me roses and a little dance for 18 seconds. lol. hahahah it was super funny. the "dance". dad first, then mummy's friend, then odacers, pri sch friends and small kids. hahah. but it was really sweet. and then after that, 18 girls one by one gave me a candle each and made a wish for me. can cry really. really really really thank you very much. appreciate it a lot. mummy, then sisters and then girlfriends. i really cherish that moment the most. hahah hope all the wishes come true! haha. after that was cake and birthday song. and singing time! it was fun, all the music, and friends. and cool mummy. haha. some of us started to drink. and tequila is the best la. love it. haha if i drank more i think i'll be dead. and the party just went on... until some people got drunk! maybe not, just damn high i guess. hahahahha damn funny la looking at them go crazy. sad thing need to control. and sean and jx finally came. and then edmund and jason came too but left soon after that. so.. mum got a little crazy. and friends left. hahha.

i need to watch the video la. and the pictures.

THANK YOU EVERYBODY, especially mummy!!!

feel so damn bad, i need to make it up to her.

love the gifts too and i really got richer by A LOT. oh my. haha shocking.










yesterday. oh shit slacked at home. never do work at all!!! at night met up with mum with sis and went for dinner. at the village. haha watched movie after that. 28 weeks later. NICE! especially the soundtrack. omg la. and the whole story not bad la... quite exciting. previously was 28 days later.. next is 28 months later. getting lame. hahah. so many movies once again coming up and must watch. cillian murphy, eric bana, zodiac, shrek, POC, fantastic 4......

oh yeah LINKIN PARK ALBUM!!! gonna get it man. my all time favourite band.

looking forward to family dinner, joe's dinner, outing with ben and matt,

and the basketball match later!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahha.


shit la, gotta start revising soon. =(

nvm, everyday is a new beginning.

yeah right, not everything starts and ends on a daily basis.

so doesnt really work thinking that way.

sigh.

but still.

i miss BMS! we need to catch up darlings.

hahaha! happy birthday to me.

i loved yesterday! okay la actually quite alright. just really enjoyed having PT with the J1s. some of them are really funny! hope there are more times like this, before stepping down. ziyi cheryl and me led the PT. thought it wasnt very hiong for them, but still cut short a bit and let them play game, which is the fun part! hahaha. and thank you for the birthday song. hehe so sweet. least expected things happened. really appreciate it.

and after odac, met up with mum. and bought stuffs...

i really wonder whats later like.

just gonna have fun!














hai actually dunno la... all excitement crushed.








self-doubt is the worst thing ever.

i'm trying to control.

haha.

aiya forget it la......

hahahah birthday wish........................

yesterday was nice. watched spiderman in the morning. with cheryl, yuda and ziyi. haha. a lot of corny parts la! omg. especially when spiderman flew past that flag. HUH? what was that for? haha. and other lame lines like "i forgive you". bla bla bla. and that stupid news reporter when spiderman was trying to save MJ and fight the other 2. totally redundant. but it was okay la the whole movie.. topher grace cute as usual.

and study at serene center after that. was productive.. at least i finished one maths ws. ate at island creamery for the first time. not too bad. i need these times more often. gotta get at least A B C for the course that i want. haha. but next week's shit la. SPA. tests and tests. hai. and still one AQ undone. must i spend the rest of my 18th year feeling like crap. hahah. looking forward to J1s interview though. and seans play last night. haha. was good. finally met up with them after so long. but, dont blame me, somethings just wrong. perhaps with the gap we'll be better.

sigh.

please, something exciting!

out of the blue.

you.

i thought i said i'll start studying once oec is over. but i am still stuck here, wondering what to do, where to start. and the compiling of hw is really fun. day by day, my only aim is to finish whatever hw that is needed for the next day. but i still fail to do so. and how many months left to A levels? 6. i'm really pouring more shit onto myself. and my father has no idea what kind of shit results i got for BT1. and parents meet teachers is tomorrow. oh great. and some REALLY GOOD teacher with rockable english has no idea what to tell my dad tomorrow. but actually she's quite right. i always knew that i'm a very laid-back person. and always thought it's okay to be that way. until today when she just said it into my face that i'm very laid back, and must be more kanchiong. and with all the testimonial writing we have to do. bullshit. felt quite affected today, when my results suck, i have nothing much to write about my achievements in school, from class to cip to cca. okay, so all that is gonna grade me as a person. thank you very much. okay maybe so that's the only way it could be done, since results aint all that matter in life, and there has to be some way to show our other talents. hai whatever. must all the talents be MOE-based. and what you're like in class=what you're like outside. yeah i know i'm saying all these because i know in the end my 3 pages wont be very nice. so oh well, now, i shall concentrate on studies. and jump onto every chance to fill up the gaps in the self-write testimonial. haha. no la, i dunno.

dont have much time. around 7 weeks left to BT2.

and i need to find my passion back.

grow up richalynn!!!

in sch's com lab now.. having 2 hours break before gp. and then going to vj for soccer match!!! gotta look for ben. and then hopefully some of us will go watch SPIDERMAN tonight! damn looking forward to it. since last year. topher grace!

anyway. OEC. was awesome. i really enjoyed it. being with fellow odacers, J1s and teachers. really felt like it shouldnt end so soon. everything just zoomed past. and the 3 days are over.

first day. odacers met at 4.30. and started to prepare.. final briefing.. dinner. was quite rushed, which wasnt suppose to be, since we have to put up a prepared front for the J1s. then they arrived, and station masters went to prepare the games.. while leaders were in the classroom with J1s. and i saw the fierceness coming out from them. hahaha. then yuda and me prepared for 4-way support. and J1s went to pitch tent, which i guess was quite stressful for them? i dunno.. then waited for the first group to come. the station game for me was quite alright.. we were suppose to be serious. first 2 groups i still could act like i was serious. but when group 3 came in.. yumin's group. hahhahaha. i heck already. its a game anyway! yeah.. i just laughed along and stuff. but they were quite quiet. but 4 way support for them.. i guess its okay. and as a station master, i could see the different moods of the groups. and some J1s stood out. well, good experience for me. haha. the last game changed to wet weather programme. which brought forward our time by a lot. and after that J1 family time with their groups.. and taskforce and spare people slacked around in the gallery. haha. loves! slept at around 1 plus. cold cold cold. in the trophy room. and started to rain at around 4 am. went down to check for solonight stores. =( fucking unprepared.

2nd day! hahahah the highlight of the whole camp. okay early in the morning. PT for J1s. not that hiong though. then prepared to set off for ubin. commotions here and there. scoldings. bla bla. then got on the bus and reached changi jetty. travelled to ubin. everything went quite smoothly. then J2s left our logs and bags in the van. so shuang can. never mind J1s you'll get to experience this next year. and all the privileges of a senior. the trek to campsite, yu da and me led it. i have not much idea how it went on at the back. but hopefully it left an impact on them. J1s pitched their tents, and set off for orienteering. wanling and me went to recee the solonight route.

sigh! went to recee beberek route first. and since the route had a lot of slopes which couldnt be used for J1s spot, i shortened the distance to 30m. and SMARTASS ME had to change it for the other routes as well. one wrong choice, and i made the solonight a less exciting or scary one. sigh, and i kept worrying about movers not being able to see the lightstick, but not whether the J1s will have a good solonight or not. i am damn freaking sad. something that left a great impression on me, and i failed to do the same for the juniors. really felt like shit when i heard the comments. i really didnt want it to be that way. theres so many lessons to learn from here. and one was by mr lam, who told me that i could be less nice, and firmer. sigh. the sad thing is also that this is only like once in a lifetime thing, that i could plan for solonight. and i failed. failed even after a lot of thinking and planning. not enough i guess. fuck my complacency.. okay it's over now, dont cry over spilled milk. which i did. perhaps i overreacted. but, i'm really upset with myself. to have failed one very important aspect of oec. so juniors next year do do a good job.

anyway! back to topic. haha. saw seniors while receeing the route. and kelvin came cycling past and "hua ren!" me. omg. hahah. after so long. i miss that phrase. saw henry as well, and chang dee!! and yuanling, and jessie. amos. miss them. sad thing they left early.

anyway wanling and me saw some groups did their scenarios. and some things are quite joke. especially "lost". really can laugh when they turned their heads together and all the same expression. haha. the "omg what happened?!" look. lol. hornets attack too. quite forced la everything.. then.. gathered at campsite, everyone started cooking. advance party got ready and left. i totally had no idea what was coming next. i was suppose to brief them for candle warfare. but being the in-charge for that moment, put me in a damn difficult spot. at least for me. okay, so miss seow was observing J1s and decided they ought to be scolded, because of slow movement, and being late. so i started "scolding" them, asking them to return to their tents and gather back again in 20 seconds. downed them for being late again. and miss seow was like guiding me throughout. i really had no guts to scold them, and miss seow helped me in some parts. first time in my life. but, of course i could have done better. she said i should just imagine myself being a higher level above them, that i have the authority, so that i can feel more confident. anyway, it was another learning point foe me. then i led them back to basketball court. fast walk. made them run a little.

haha. next was candle warfare. hope they had fun! though it was pretty boring looking at people play. maybe next time seniors can join in. haha. solonight next. i briefed them. mr lam added in stuffs. and they set off. i followed yumin's group. group 3. JMT. hahahhha. reached the hut. and started dispatching. lasted until 2 plus. walked back to campsite and slept.





okay... i'm home. had to stop blogging just now since casey leong was gonna have lesson. haha. back to topic.

i guess the rain helped us get more sleep. and the hornets attack seem different. and the way back to school. clean tents. debrief. haha. lazy to elaborate already la.

the whole camp is really one big learning experience. and i'll really miss it. both as a junior and a senior.

anyway today's quite good. despite the early morning scolding by casey leong. its not my freaking fault. blame the stupid lock. sigh. anyway after school, went to watch soccer match with raine and cheryl. joined some odacers after that. we had fun watching. and went for dinner after that at marina square. we ate at la quinta. something new. and it was nice! the ambience damn romantic, and we just chatted and ate. =) so nice.

back home. so much hw to complete. aiya just feel like sleeping now. sigh.

spiderman 3!

ITS OEC TOMORROW! i'm damn damn damn excited. and afraid as well, that things may screw up. all the planning since december last year. i remember coming back from krabi and the next day or something? is oec meeting already. and how many oec meetings after that. over a span of 3 to 4 months. it has been a great experience, working with people so closely, arguing over things, and there's this hidden friction. but of course after a while its all okay. and i had to figure, how on earth to get rid of these negative feelings. but of course "get over it" and draw a clear line between friendship and work. people change under different circumstances and we just have to fit along with each other. i guess.

what on earth am i talking about.

anyway, thank you eeling, serene, cheryl, edmund, clarissa and geok. we ought to celebrate after oec. =)))) through all the meetings and everything about oec, i've got to know so much more about you people. and i'm really glad, and i hope the end of oec wont mean the end of us. as in, ahaahaha. ya you get what i mean. haha. really, i had a great time with you all. all the chat and digression. i will really miss us.

and oec! oh gosh. i just cant wait for it to come right now actually. but i havent packed, havent sort out my thoughts. and i'm just too excited to do any homework tonight. haha.

like yumin said, memories in the making.

the past couple of weeks was odac-ing all the while. and despite all the sian things we have to do, we still have fun together. and all the after odac sessions, dinner, celebrating birthdays, just chilling from toapayoh to xiu's house to bugis. its feels so good just to think that we've come so close together.

and i hope J1s and J2s will get friendly with each other soon.. not J1 and J2, but one odac.



i miss piano. i miss sean and jx and melvin. i miss band.

the walk towards the bus stop. and that bus ride. OH MY GOD.

another one of those "so near yet so far".

haha. black out! everything can be turned on except the lights. tried flipping those things in the box thing.. but to no avail. sigh. so.. cant really do my homework, although there's such a thing called torchlight. but aiya fuck it la. shall wait for my dad to come back and fix it.

back to school today. 10 weeks left to block test 2. and i dont feel anything yet.

odac on friday was.. okay. we did our last practise for oec station games.. and after that we ended quite early! for the first time in how many months. and wanling, cheryl and me went jogging.. after that bunch of us went to toapayoh for dinner. hahaha. it was quite fun, just being with odacers. ate at foodcourt.. nobody wanna watch movie.. so cheryl val and me took 157 together and decided to go west mall! hahahah. MY TURF! and i brought them to the 30th storey. hahah my favourite place in bukit batok and holds many nice memories. sighs in bliss. i guessed they loved it too, cause the view at night is great. haha. we chatted, and listened to music. love them so much and i'm really grateful to have known them. hehe. we must stay in touch even after this year okay! looking forward to our end of year trip to KL. lol.

so many end of year plans. so my next step is to make sure i deserve them!

sat was oec meeting and sleeping at home.

sunday was with sean and met denver day. he's nice!

and i did do my HW.

yay.

and today... argh. boring school life. and i have no idea why 5 of us, after so long, still cant really... dunno how to say, like, connect? as in really connect and... ahh whatever. i miss last year, when we were more fun, when we MOS-ed...... really hope we dont drift apart. lets get the ball rolling again! =( other then that... i guess everything else is okay. excitement is what we need.

haha.

things coming up next. OEC. geog overseas trip. LTC. Alevels?? haha.

okay the lights are back.

and dinner's ready.

i miss you so much.

remember me.

HAHAHHAHA I HAD A GREAT NIGHT! and evening. today left sch immediately to go to bbss!!!! the band had their syf today.. and some of us seniors went to support. oh gosh i've been looking forward to this day ever since. and now its over. so quickly. but yes, we had an awesone time. really love these times. really love the band. and CONGRATS TO BBSS CONCERT BAND FOR ATTAINING THE

SILVER AWARD!

really happy and proud of them. they did really well. and maybe could have deserved a gold. cause we heard previous bands that got silver too, which... i think we are really better! hahah. but oh well.. still good! sustained silver awards. which is so great. and of course the juniors who are stepping down.. they left a legacy.. something they can leave behind and feel good about it. =) really, you guys did it.

and of course, TROMBONE SECTION ROCKS!

anyway we went to SCH. and i'm really glad to have caught up with fellow bandmates like kailing, peiling, simin and steph. we played those games, "ni wo ta" and then name game, and that jx game while the band was waiting to get registered or something. hahahah. funny! and then we went into the concert hall to listen to the other bands first. and at 5.30 pm, BBSS band entered the stage. that adrenaline rush. hahahahah. felt really excited and nervous for them. and was praying real hard they will do a great job. and then memories of the past came rushing back into my mind... 4 and 2 years ago i was there. and i can still remember quite clearly how i felt... how the audience looked... how i was so nervous and so scared to make a mistake... and the only words on my mind were "100% concentration on mr goh".. and now i'm looking at the band from the audience. anyway yep, they really played well. i recorded it and it sounds really nice! hahah. it ended really fast. and then we waited for the results time. they were the last band to play for the day... so their results were the last. ...band 99, band 100, band 101...

"band 102, bukit batok secondary school...

silver."

hahahahhahh everyone screamed! everyone was so happy.

the judges really raised their standards this year.. so this silver is a much better silver than the silver 2 years ago.

this calls for celebration.

back to bbss. and playing and talking with the seniors at the concourse. so funnn. haha. bunch of us went to macs to eat and chat. hahah. really fun, talking about old times...

everything ended well. once again, i'm gonna miss band a lot a lot a lot. and the juniors, especially the sec 4 batch. especially trombone section. all the best for their o's. and hope to see them soon again!
















































anyway. FUCK. today had napfa or however you spell it. now i know whats really xin li zhang ai. and what fear can do. destroy you. bring you down completely. and its the WORST when it happens to something that you're actually really good at, something that means so much to you. SIGH. its really not good to think too much into things. and put unnecessary stress onto myself. i'm really very disappointed..... upset. its not me. and why must this happen.

sadness i still have hw to do and odac stuffs to prepare for. i've not done anything, and i really wanna go to sleep now and forget about everything.

GOOD NIGHT.
























thanks for the hug. you made my day, made my night. treasure you alot, my favourite junior.

despite the "fuck you"s.

haha.

SO TIRED.

:(

but all are good. exciting camps coming up.

i really wish the best for bbss band tomorrow.

and really have to start studying now. because BT2 is 10 weeks=70 days away. and we have ALL the topics to study. and i really wanna do well enough.

sleeping at 4am these few nights. supposed to be vigorous studying, but hai. at least i did my hw.. and watched a lot of tv. my sis rented dvds back, and movies on hbo and starmovies. inside man, red dragon. damn nice la........

argh one day left. back to school.

only look forward to thursday.

and oec.

have some faith.

hahah love today! slack time in school.. and then oec meeting. after odac went to meet sean! hahah after so many days. it was great. we went to ps.. had dinner and watched movie. while waiting for the movie we went to starbucks. and just talked all the way... same usual crap which are still amusing. we watched sunshine. its really... not understandable. some far fetched science fiction movie about the sun dying and this team of scientist in space on their way to revive the sun. quite sad.. dying one by one. but anyway reason i wanna watch: CILLIAN MURPHY. look at his eyes and you want to look at him forever.

spiderman 3. POC. fantastic 4. zodiac.

haha. must catch.





3 days break. hw and hw and hw. thats all i wanna do. yes.




and new phase of odac. last phase. =(















so many "should have"s.

just read some of the odacers blogs about orientation and oec, haha i shall blog too. although gp essay and bio practical are still waiting for me since friday. fuck la. i just have to wait until the very end then start worrying. a total turnoff. and yes, triple Us await me too. congrats for getting the worst results in my life and also at this point, when POSITIVE motivation is what i need for A's.

triple Us. wake up call.

just give up, you mean.




hahaha. okay la. actually i really dont know why i dont feel like super depressed yet. about results. maybe i expected all these, and i think hope pray that things will work out. i mean, i'm starting to change. i dont sleep during lectures anymore! and i am going home straight after school nowadays. its a start right.

sigh.

just dont slack anymore. start now.









anyway, odac orientation 2007! ahahha. it was successful, and with mr lam's praises and encouragement, definitely ended everything on a good note. and i was facilitator with yuda. haha. we had fun with eugene krab ppl. they're quiet at the start but we saw them opening up after a while, which is really good. hope they had fun. but i didnt know what was i doing, quite quiet during the icebreaker cause yuda was answering 99% of their questions, and during the games screaming and shouting randomly, but my group had no reaction. ahha. oh well. first time facil i also anyhow la. haha. hopefully everyone comes back on wednesday for FIELDCOOKING. fun ok.

and the oec recee yesterday, was quite good i guess. and damn tiring for everyone. but this is probably the last time we're stepping foot on that island before OEC. so. haha. had solonight recce, and then orienteering dryrun, and then solonight at night. from 10 to 10. nice la. haha. taskforce again has to make changes. major ones. oh god. i really hope we do a good job, because i know we didnt start well, leaving everyone thinking that we're unorganised and whatever thats negative. give us a chance to learn. and yes, it was fun. especially the going back part walking from murai hut to the jetty. its these times when everything counts! thank you mr lam for the sparklers. and just walking as once odac, singing, making noise, counting strength. and then the boat ride back was.............................. ahhhh. so shuang. bright moon night sky sea view breeze blowing into face ppl singing. love it. after that was dinner with some of them. and home with cheryl. =)




thank you for changing my impression of you. getting to see this side of you is really great. because now i know you're the real shit inside. self-centered, stuck up, and insensitive.

argh.

okay back to work. sigh.


missbandmissbandmissbandmissband.

i need some excitement in my life.

school sucks.

it's just that feeling of wanting to be somewhere else.

anyway, yesterday was fun, stayed home most of the time. and then went out with sis and cousin jeffery to watch movie! we watched the hitcher first. which is quite alright. yea scary. and the hitcher is SEAN BEAN. he is damn sexy. and even though he's damn evil and psycho you dont want him to die in the end. haha. not because he's cool or whatever, but just his role. and then the movie ended soon. too early for dinner so we watched 300! 2nd time for me. hahaha. love it. the fighting scenes damn nice, slow mo then fast slow mo then fast. haha.

after that we met sean and jx, ate at pastamania. had a fun time talking!

went to 30th storey with jx and sean. then home.

so many movies wanna catch. number 23, spiderman, bla bla.

term 2. end quickly please. whats coming... odac. orientation. J1s!!! then all the activities, plus oec and ltc. wooooo.

bbss band SYF!!!!

then really hope to go for that geog trip to sabah.

and nothing much i guess... all the competitions coming up.

above all, study hard. and

piano.

hahahhahahahahhahahaahaahhaha.

in jiaxin's house, again. stayed over for 2 nights! so funnnn. we watched liu xing hua yuan through the night. OMGGGGG! dao ming si. hahahhaha. being naive little teenage girl now. last time it's really my LOVEEE! the show, dao ming si. hahah. but now watch find the lines quite stupid, and dumb. okay, get over it richalynn!

"ying wei wo xi huan ni,

wo zhen de hen xi huan ni."












"zhi yao ni shuo mei you, wo jiu xiang xing ni!"












"wo xi huan ni, xi huan mi lian dao lian wo zi ji dou jue de mo ming qi miao"















okok enough.

but those lines are really... die-able.

stupid drama shows.

delusionises people.

haha.


yesterday... watched oc a little. another one.

and then wanted to go back band.. but then.. due to ps-ing of some people...

their syf is on the 12 of april! omg 2 more weeks. really really hope they can do it and do it well.

would love to go see them...

at night had piano.. then met sean and jx at my house. =)))

love last night. the chat with jx.

BFFL. haha.









dont want sch!!!!

in jiaxin's house now.. hahha. stay over after sickening block tests! funnn. anyway the exams was crap and i just pray real hard that i dont get into MSP.

haha. just now after chem paper went to have lunch with fen, raine and tif. went home.. watched OC!! finally. and then came out to meet sean, jx, mathan. celebrated mathan's birthday.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!! hope you had a great time. =D then.. now here. gonna watch liu xing hua yuan. LOL.

still miss band.

back to hectic sch days with odac and lessons.

and all that shit.

=(

so perfect.

a must have.

yet impossible.



to do something, just for that someone.

sucks.

FUCK MATHS.


argh.


but its ok. i'm gonna get an A for alevels.

its so easy! either wrong or right. and just have to practise!

and why cant i do it?

because i simply do not understand and its such a turnoff.















=(







anyway, yesterday was fun! sean's birthday. we sorta surprised him at his house. and gave him gifts. BMS outing! we went to clarke quay. had dinner at this italian restaurant. nice! then walked around.. after much begging, asking, and whatever, jx finally went up the bungee jump thing with melvin and sean. dunno they scared for what. so lousy. haha. after that we got alcohol. and that guy didnt check haha! coool. went home quite early cause next day got exam!

today gp......... okay la..... hope i can pass both papers.

i hope i dont into MSP.

i hope some miracle will happen which allows me to pass maths. and geog.










haha.


stay positive!

i want!!!

moments 07

=))))))))))))))

awesome night.

dont wanna mention every detail, but everything was great.

the band was very good.

i love trom section.

giving out the concert brochure with jx was fun. saw many familiar faces.

just standing at back with fellow usherers, listening to the band, screaming and clapping after every song, hair standing moments (in the good way), feeling so touched when i hear trom section play so well hahahhaa, looking for trommies during interval, 2nd half, appreciation for teachers, miss ngiam and mr goh are the best, ENCORE, HIP HIP HOORAY FOR BBSS CONCERT BAND, gifts for alumni, taking pictures with section, going down the giant lift thing which i never knew exists, talking to juniors, deyong, lynn, bryant, vanessa, aloysius, on the bus back to bbss, playing dumb games with jx and mathangi, back in bbss, in macs with bunch of seniors and miss ngiam, talking.....

sighs in bliss.

times like this, always fun, always heartwarming.

so dont wanna let go of this past.

but sigh...

haha. congrats to bbss concert band!

Moments 07

BELOVED TROM MATES