dumb dumb.

i want gum gum.

hahahahah so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeee. that stone thing in a night at the museum. it's damn funny! should watch. haha..

and it made me wanna read up on those history things. haha.

watched it twice! once yesterday with tian bee.. and today with sis joe and her sis. they bought the tickets without telling me la. so nvm. anyway i was half asleep yesterday. so tired la never sleep one whole day? trying to turn back my body clock. slept 6am-2pm for many days.. haha.

yesterday.. met up with tian bee.. oh yeah before that had piano.. OH GOD!!! exams are in february and i'm not even half prepared!! sigh sigh sigh. emergency!!! theory i still cant chiong abit.. but practical.. i just cant. i suck. like some finger block thing in me. omg...

anyway yeah... i went to cut hair at mum's shop. hahah. ok la... not so bad.. then we went to causeway. plan to buy gifts failed. so.. watched the movie and came back home..

hahahha today! RMB outing! yay. so happy. hahhah. ben just came back last night. coooooool he went like snowboarding and disneyland.. lucky guy!! yep then today.. CS! ahaha. had lunch at... erm okay forgot the name. some pasta restaurant. then dinner at billy bombers. and exchanged presents. hahahha. how nice.

hopefully we'll meet up soon. another new year. all that busy-ness and different lives. and living at both ends of the country. damn tough. love ya both RMB!

hahah. 2 more days.

2007!!

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.

1) dont sleep at all in lectures and tutorials.
2)

okay i cant think of anymore for now.. all that study hard shit and use time wisely and be confident and have disciplined dont use internet too much. ALL TOO VAGUE. need details. haha.. maybe i should just forget about resolutions and fuck 2007. haha! no la i mean as in dont plan, dont set grounds, dont promise myself anything.. and just day by day see how la... isnt that gonna work!

i hereby pledge that i'm gonna welcome 2007 with open arms.

anyway i forgot to say that i have 3 new kittens and one of them is a persian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, what a merry little christmas.

its time to party.

she sings.

she drinks.

she entertains her friends.

she laughs and screams.

she gets drunk.

she cries.

she chases the whole world away with her hysteria.

she sleeps.

and says sorry the next day.

and the whole cycle repeats.

every christmas day.

every new year's eve.

every "suppose to be fun and enjoyable" occasion.













argh!

pisses me off. everytime this kinda shit happens. fuckkkkkkkk really. and then she goes...

my daughter doesnt love me.

love is bullshit.

men are bullshit.

i just want my daughters to be with me, and i'll be happy.

i still love your father.

why richavel dont wanna come and see me.

richalynn why do you come.






irritating really...

things she say really wanna make you cry and laugh at the same time.




sigh.........


anyway, not a very nice christmas spent after all... in mummy's house.. her friends came over. and as usual karaoke and food and alcohol. i was totally sianded cause, no one my age was around... hahah. so... i watched tv and sat around in the room with my sis and her friends. totally pathetic i know. sigh. so sorry i didnt join the odacers.

aiya whatever la... plus the stupid headache. argh. christmas eve. a little better. with my sis and joe at home. hahaha. we did nothing but the company was so much better. joe is really fun! hahaha. anyway she keeps calling me retarded. lol. then the day before i met them at suntec. we ate at kenny rogers.. played arcade and watched charlotte's web! nice nice. worth watching. haha. the spidey... damn wei da can. a promise is a promise. haha.. then joe stayed over at the house. hehe we played resident evil! damn exciting game. and my sis is so damn brave totally not scared. plays so well tooo... haha. i'm not that bad la still a bit scared. lol. and yeah.. left house at around 1 am and came here...

argh! plan to meet akbar and suria failed again. sigh. feel bad. like 4th time i sorta pang seh? really really so sorry.

anyway.. my dad's coming back... and no more late hanging out already i guess...

oh my god just realised this is the last week of the holiday!!! sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. depression. although i look forward to seeing the j1s next year. lol. but studies not ready. and thats the major thing. sigh. sigh. and odac full steam again.

nvm.. one thing at a time.. take it slowly. take it well.. life's fun when things happen totally unexpectedly.

just be ready to catch the ball when it's thrown at you. =)

I hope you dance
Lee Ann Womack & Sons o/t Desert

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance. (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along, Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance.. (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along, Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)










hahahah. was watching shall we dance, and reminded of this song. and then thought of miss ngiam playing this song for us on POP day. it was very very very meaningful. and it still is. hahaha. this is gonna be like my prayer for next year. haha...

gonna meet up with sis and joe later. hahahah.

last 2 days was studying with mathangi in yew tee macs. so damn conducive. haha. and melvin was with us too yesterday. studied till 12.30 to catch the last train.

and those plans to meet up in the middle of the night with akbar and suria, all failed. hahahah. hopefully la can meet up soon.

so dead.. so much work left. oh god. try my best. sigh but next week also so many things. tmd.


HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

sin less, love more.

haha. sean is in sweden now! wonder how is it like there... snow... white... damn cold and serene... hahahhaha. matthew, ghani and i sent him off last night. i gave him tt beanie thing. lol. then nth much.. just chatted and had coffee. miss him!

then after that... i went to bugis. and did nothing. omg. i am damn dumb took some bus back to woodlands. wanted to drop off at balmoral plaza and change bus. but missed it. so i took until bukit panjang and alighted at a wrong busstop, no bus home. sigh so i took cab home. 3 cabs in a day. let me see... 12+14+8=34. SIGH. last night just felt like slacking. and of course i did.

then piano lesson and oec meeting yesterday.

should be studying and practising piano today.

nothing done yet.

RAIN!

damn cooooooling, i'm loving it. non-stop for 2 days already. nice la. hahah. longest rain this year i think... it really gives this kind of peace. nice feeling. best to just stay indoors and slack around.

but this afternoon quite fucked up la. was christmas shopping in town with matthew. then couldnt get out of taka and wisma. so stuck there, unable to look for presents. i'm so slow to decide! hahaha. so now i'm still left with quite a few to buy. blooooody no money left with 30 in pocket, and borrowing 150 from sis. sigh. next year onwards la, i'll be a good spender.

yep, so today was with matthew. hahahha. had fun walking around with him. laughing over stupid stuffs and everything. BEST FRIENDS!

after that went to meet my DEAREST PRI SCH FRIENDS! it was a christmas potluck in gladys' house. was so happy to see them, like always. gladys, jocelyn, yvonne, hongyi, alan, mingjie and me. hahaha. it was pretty fun. with all that lameness hahahahha. plus yvonne's super funny candid shots. then we played zhong ji mi ma. punishment was to eat a mixture of food, which was quite disgusting. hahha.. then as usual took loads of pics. love them! and had the present exchange. i got jocelyn's bucket of sweets! quite nice la.... hahah. yep, then we headed home in a cab. cant wait for the counting down together!!!

yesterday.. oec taskforce had our first recce in pulau ubin for next year's oec! WAS SO FUN CYCLING THERE!!!! my god. best cycling spot in singapore. really! it was like so exciting cycling in the non-road paths. plus all the puddles of water from the rain. and then it started to rain, we put on our poncho and cycled. damn fun! though we looked like a bunch of fools. really loving it la. then cycling up the slopes, damn funny la! looking at each other trying our mighty best to cycle to the end of the up slope, but couldnt. super like mini mountain biking. haha. yeah... then miss seow and us cycled to the campsite, and other possible check points. had fun really. love oec taskforce. =D then we discussed some stuffs before leaving ubin.

i travelled back to bb and met sean and ghani. new friend made! nice. hahah. hung around in west mall.. coffee bean. then mathan came. and we sat and chat for a bit. FUCKING SEAN LOL.

waiter hafiz comes to clear our table.

sean points at me and says to him,"she thinks hongyi(another waiter in coffee bean) is cute."

hafiz giggles and said "okay i know", walks in, tells hongyi, and points at our table.

my back was facing them la... so i have no idea what was their expressions.

and this is not the first time!

worst thing was........................ last time jx sean and me together in coffee bean.. then because jx thought he was cute. and being us, we wanted to get attention from him, i wrote something like "hong yi can i have your number?" on the coffee bean receipt and jx poked it into the needle at the counter there where you receive your drinks! so yeah. the whole coffee bean crew saw it, and yeah. i think hong yi is pretty freaked out. and it was pretty obvious he was like avoiding to appear whenever we were in coffee bean. oh mans.

my point is, hahahhahaha. i'm very embarrassed. cause he's gonna think i'm the one that is desperate for him.

actually i dont care la! hahahhaha. smallie.

hahhaa. after coffee bean, it was macs. then ghani's house. yea... OH MY GOSH HIS CATS!!!! one was persian which is VVVVVEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY cute. my god. and the other.. was very fat and cute as well, and more friendly.

haha. we sat around in his room. then mathan left. 3 of us went back to his house. and sorta stayed over. hahaha. had a nice time. nice knowing you ghani!

then... sean and i went home at 6 am.. i slept till 1150 today.. and yeah. met matthew and stuffs.

haven start work yet!!!!!!!!!!! god. no feel at all. got that kinda needa sort things out and settle down first feeling.

haha.

i miss all of you.

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

anyway hanging out with sis and joe was pretty nice. last night i met them at swissotel. had a buffet dinner there. damn cool la tt hotel. and there was this pianist playing in the lobby there. i dont mind that kinda job man. hahaha. anyway the buffet sucked. food not nice la. okay la... feel so bad about joe paying for all my stuffs. then after that we walked to marina square to watch dejavu!!! again for me. hahahah. damn cool la. denzel washington. and the plot. i finally understand it fully. after my sis's kind explanation. so if you wish to believe, everything is happening repeatedly in different dimensions. cheeeem la tmd. after that went to esplanade for dessert! at Max's i think. or something like that. tried a new thing. called succau. hahahhaah damn nice la. thanks joe again for bringing me to try new stuffs. damn nice of her.

she came to our house to stay over. and yeah.. helped us install some new ram shit into our com to make it faster.

and today woke up at 2pm. now wasting time away. sigh...........

fuck it.

nothing's concrete. nothing's to stay.

Sunrise during take off. DAMN NICE.

Krabi Full Strength.

Playing in Emerald Pool!

Source of forest waters. haha.

HAHA VAL!!!! chee ba bom.

On the way to Railay to rockclimb!!

at the rockclimbing sight.

hahahaha.

View from top. damn nice la can. wind blowing

shimmering waters and clear horizon. hahaha.

Walking down Ao Nang street. Shopping!

Geok and me!!! on Ao Nang beach.

Yumin, val and I on the top of Tiger Cave.

mr lam-"not thai girl cave". jokes really.

hahahh. only some pics here. all the others have to get from the rest. hahahah. missing out kayaking pics and island hopping pics. soon!

AO NANG, KRABI!!!

god just came back from krabi. and i miss it so much!!! promise myself to go back again. love that place really. well i'm not gonna blog about every single detail cause i've already done it in the odac journal. this trip, was unbelievable. odac learnt a lot a lot. from every single activity. there were so much to learn from. and we definitely got closer and i feel the love now! as in, we're more family-like now. hahaha. got to know more about most people. i love you guys. really really love you guys. thank god for allowing me to choose and get into odac. personally i have gained much too. =) so glad. we did things like, okay first day was the forest trek. we went to the natural swimming pool (Emerald Pool), and the hot spring which was DAMN SHIOK. in between we also went to the source of the waters in the forest where val and me fell into the deep mud. hahahahhahaha. had a good laugh. 2nd day, it was kayaking. most enjoyable part of it was the BEAUTIFUL sceneries. really oh my god. and i paddled with wei hao which was enjoyable. plus the damn good looking kayak instructor. hahahah. then 3rd day, ROCK CLIMBING!!! my favourite. and i managed to climb up to the top of the 2 longer lanes. although climbed only 3. but i had a great time. really rock climbing i like it a lot. i must go further and pursue it somehow. 4th day. island hopping! and the highlight was snorkling. damn nice. those cute little fish and corals. i was like holding on to the bread close to my face and all the fish came so damn close. NICE! then 5th day shopping. and 5th day went to climb up tiger cave before going back to singapore. hahahah the climb so damn tiring. 1003 steps. staircase after staircase. but the view up there was fantastic. =)

so now i'm back in singapore, totally not ready to start on hw. but i will.

hahahah.

i love thai people. they're like damn nice, hospitable, obliging. and i really like hearing them speak their language. and their food!! gosh, damn delicious. and having to eat tom yam soup almost everyday was a joy for me. hahahaha. pineapple rocks too.

i found what mr ho spoke to us about rockclimbing really inspiring. it's like, you view life like rockclimbing. treating your destinations like the goals you have in life. and all the hand holds and grips and steps can be seen as obstacles or solutions. so you have to like view life positively. and having people at the bottom of the rockwall cheering you on and of course your belayer which gives you the most support, can represent all the people in your life, encouraging you, pushing you on. and also looking at the goal so high and difficult to reach, dont give up and move on step by step. after each step, another step will appear. and when you're rockclimbing, you will concentrate on holding on to the next handhold or making the next step, rather then focusing on the end point. same thing in life, concentrate on the little things you have to accomplish one by one rather then wanting to jump to the end point right away. one more thing, dont give up before even trying to climb up the rockwall, cause from the bottom you have only one view, at the top you can see everything.

yep that's about it. perserverance, never give up without even trying, always have a positive mindset, take things slowly one at a time, a little bit more and we'll reach our goals. and the rewards are definitely breathtaking.

HAHA. i love rockclimbing.

totally respect all the teachers of odac.

so... this trip has definitely made a difference in my life. really learnt a lot a lot through all the reviewing sessions and things said by my friends, teachers. one really memorable experience.

Krabi.

i'm going back! hahahhaa. anyway... this morning had oec meeting with mr lam. he told us what to do and everything. i'm pretty excited to see the j1s next yr. hahha. okay gonna concentrate on studies and music and odac now.

pictures of krabi probably will post later.

off to thailand =)

HAHA. that time forgot to blog about the chalet. S21's chalet. which only less than half the class went?? i went there at around 11.. after leaving matthew and ben. went there and only meifung.. christopher.. nurul.. jowy.. karthi.. peiwen.. tiffany.. were there. then started to play cards. went out to walk a while. then went back in to play cards again and chit chatted on the bed. we also had the lamest pillow fight on the bed, where we just jumped up and down, trying to push each other down. hahahha. we stayed up until 5 then went to the beach there. "sunrise". haha. went back to the chalet there to sleep! afternoon did a bit of cycling. hai.. i hope premila's fine. then evening bbq. was alright la everything. most of the time talking to meifung and peiwen. hahah love yous! =))) meifung's really sweet. hahahah.

went back at night. then next day got the cca teambulding dryrun. was alright. hahaha. nothing much lor. then after that went to meet suria akbar lokman and shannan. played pool. see them play dota. and watched movie! "the holiday" at 12 midnight. i thought it would be nice!!! damn sad la, disappointment. romantic comedy. my head. not that funny. and everything's so dull, nothing exciting! BUT JUDE LAW. oh my god! SO SEXY!!!! love his eyes! and smile!!! that smile without showing the teeth. god. damn attractive. hahahha. one of the sexiest actors around. hahah. so... not so nice movie after all!

hai.

going to the airport in 4 hours!!! sigh later damn tired. not enough sleep. so it's 6 days and chionging studies after that!! I MUST. cannot procrastinate anymore. if not really die. then must chiong music as well... sigh. theory.. practical.. exams in march. oh god. plus OEC meetings and a few outings, and CHRISTMAS! hahaha.

well gotta relax.













I CAN!





i miss you.

sad case

another week. flew by just like that. damn fast. it wasnt so busy after all. which is a good thing. the tinkle thing was cancelled so i had tues and wed free. hahah.

MONDAY. had the last session of the 1 star kayaking course. that fucking day started out like crap. i was late. took 2 cabs, and both drivers had no idea where kallang sea sports club was. yes, it was not their fault, but still irritating. and i dunno what the hell was wrong with me. i knew that the cab driver didnt give me correct change, short of 2 dollars, and i still didnt ask him for it. make myself seem like a fool. damn.

that hug totally saved the day.

and kayaking is not my thing. lol. rescue drill was okay... just didnt like to kayak.

haha. forget it. so all of us passed this course. and thank you instructor james and peter. hahah.

after that, odac went to marina square to eat. had a nice time at the foodcourt there. that outdoor place is my favourite la.. haha. makes you feel so relaxed. then some of us went to esplanade rooftop there to sit and chat. i LOVE this kinda stuff. haha. we saw a shooting star!!!! gosh it's my first time seeing one. let's just hope that it is really a shooting star and the wish i made will come true. lol. rocks. shooting star. it should be la. white shiny flying thing appearring out of nowhere and across the night sky, disappearing into the buildings there. hahahah. then we went home.

next day went out with RMB again. lan-ed at bugis. for 3 hours? hahaha. quite fun. counterstrike. KILL KILL KILL!

then we went to eat. and matthew had to go for his chalet. so we splitted. and i went to meet akbar, mathangi, suria, shannan and liang ying. to play pool! at the usual place. damn fun. hehe. had dinner at macs. then home.

so wednesday we planned one full day of activities. jog, ice skate, movie, and pool. LOL. BUT, plan failed. we only managed to watch the movie. DEJAVU!!! damn cool show. although so complicated. but really interesting la. then we met up late, so jogging gone. SO SORRY. hahah. we went to check out ice skating. crowded like hell... and i saw cheryl, ziyi, yuda and minqi! hahaha. sooooooooooooooooooooo, decided not to iceskate because of the crowdedness. and we went to sentosa instead! to cycle. hahaha. which only took 1 hour. after tt we met sean in vivo and watched the movie. hehe. met ben's friend.

3 of us went to tampines but couldnt pool because it was too late. so we had dinner at BK. and we finally had our first concrete conversation?? lol. reincarnation. omg both of them, intellectuals. really. i'm like soooooooooooooooooo, ignorant.

we parted at the bus interchange. it's gonna be long till i see ben.

RMB! remember me. hahahahhaa.

hanging out with both of them, makes me realise a lot of things about myself. things that i lack in me. and makes me so wanna improve. like really. i dont know why. seems so silly i know. but yeah... really, thank you.

for being my friends!

HAHA.

inspirations.

i can one, no problem. lol.

i now know exactly, what i want to achieve.

hehe.

so tomorrow cca teambuilding dryrun. another obstacle for me. i'm a creep. i'm a weirdo. lol. okay... yeah. CONFIDENCE! it's all about acting like you can. and yes i can! (corny)

hahahah.. what's wrong with me. 17, and still stuck at dont know where. well, it's okay. i'll just have to start somewhere.

and after that it's KRABI!!! woo hooooo!




Something in your eyes makes me want
to lose myself
Makes me want to lose myself
In your arms
There's something in your voice makes my
heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've felt so low
If you knew how I wanted someone to
come along
And change my life the way you've done

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where
I come from
Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks down a long dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the darkthere's light

If you knew how much this moment
means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
If you knew how happy you are making me
I've never thought I'd love anyone so much

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the wayback where I come from
Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back
where I belong
Feels like I'm all the way back
where I belong

christmas is all around!

hahahah i'm so excited to blog this. cause so many nice things happen. hahah. so glad. =)))

shall talk about friday first! okay cool! odac had our first dryrun for the cca teambuilding next year. we're gonna be station masters and facilitators of some of the ccas. hahha. so... we played the games while the taskforce conducted them. pretty fun. hope the ccas will really feel teambuilding-fied next year. plus the high elements which probably gonna be fun! and then we had debriefing and stuff. and my game is the great pearl caper! hahah well, shall do my best. YUMIN'S DEBRIEFING DAMN POWER. hahahah.

after the dryrun, we waited for the bbq to start. some of us played basketball. haha fun. and then half started to paint the bouldering wall, and the other half prepared the pits and fire. hhaha. seniors started to arrive. met the J4s, 3s, and 2s!!! yep, so it's like starting fire, sitting around, eating. like any other bbq. then played soccer, ball, walked to the fitness corner there, track there. hahahha quite enjoyable la. then clean up time! washed, threw trash and everything. some of us chatted with chang dee and evadne at the sink there. hahahah. nice! love chang dee. =)) my fav senior. hopefully there'll really be an J1 and 2 mahjong or bridge session.

gladness. nice closure. nice smile.

haha.

after leaving sch, went to orchard to meet sean. hahaha. was going to meet jx after her clubbing. walked around with sean, took pictures with the really nice christmas tree outside paragon. haha. LOVE THE LIGHTS! then we decided to k box. exciting! yep sang and sang. ENGLISH SONGS. hahaha quite dumb. then jx arrived. hahahah. sang till 4. then went to sean's house to sleep. hahaha. i woke up at 6.30 and got home to sleep.

next day. met MATTHEW AND BEN! hahahha finally we meet after 1 year! i was so happy. hahahaha. went to cineleisure and heeren. ate at the wan tan mee stall there. okay so it's not bad. haha. then... watched DECK THE HALLS. oh god. really NO NO NO NO NO. dont freaking watch. dont even know why it's called deck the halls. hahahha but okay la................... little jokes here and there. really lame. haha. oh yeah before the movie! LAN! hahahhaha. first time playing. ben intro-ed to me. CS! it's quite late to play now la but i quite like it. hahaha. yep not bad... i like such shooting games la... especially with all the blood and everything. haha. then we took pics. haha. went with them to tampines. went for mass for a while. we were damn late. okay it has been like 1 2 3 4 5 6 months i've been to mass. kill me. shoot me. burn me. sigh.... dont feel anything. no faith. sigh. after that went home while they went to their party. haha.

hehe. today. met up with them again! cabbed down to ben's house. with my sis and joe. hahaha. then we pool-ed. and went to bugis. ate. and CS-ed. fun fun. hahah.

RMB. hehe.

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, phew! it's gonna be 2 weeks of non-stop action.

kayaking, tinkle thing, class chalet, cca teambuilding dryrun, and then off to KRABI!

KRABI! hahah quite excited.

after that would be oec recce and meeting.

completing of HW.

CHRISTMAS!!!!! my fav time of the year. it's just is. gonna spend it with mummy. haha.

daddy's not gonna be around. hahahahahahahhahahahhaahaha.

haha.

ENJOY! take things easy... it's holidays after all.

friends friends friends friends.

haha. damn cool today went out with them to vivo.. ate new york pizza and sat down at the open space there near the sea... hahah. then we went window shopping. and pool at clementi there again. so fun! love pool. new hobby. haha. then went to macs with fadly suria and shannan. chat and stuff. =)))) DOG GANG. MATHAN.

i read my past testimonials. hahah. it was so nice to have all that love and care from those people. *sighs out of gladness. i still miss my past. still miss band. still miss all my friends. so wanna let them know that i still love them.

CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!

time to love. time to make peace. time to show others that you still care.

=)











anyway yesterday! odac day. rock climbing!!! i thought i couldnt make it. cause my first time totally sucked. haha. but yeah motto for rock climbing: heck everything and just chiong. hahaha. better not think too much about where to grab or step. and i made it quite high. =))) but that's only the easiest lane. so yeah. now i'm quite excited about krabi. since the activities are quite fun. =) just hope the environment will be nice!

after odac. wanted to go home and study.. but met up with sean. haha. then met mathan too. and watched movie with kaijie and sean. haha. HAPPY FEET! i thought it was nice. hahaha. funny and okay la the story.. haha. thought it would suck so yeah it turned out so much better! yep, hung around then went home... studied a little and fell asleep.

monday. haha. went to get yumin's present with val. hahaha. bought two earrings and a necklace for her. =) hope yumin likes it. haha. then we went to eat at sushi tei. not bad... hahahha. kept looking in at the chefs who were ignorant to our stares. i thought they couldnt see us. so we kept staring. hahaha. then one chef finally realise. and all our laughters and looking must have brought his ego high to dunno where. hahaa. and geok was working there as one of the waitresses! hhahhaah so damn cute she. "armpit juice" as one of their drinks. oh god.

starting to wonder where will blogging go after like 5 years? dont want all my entries to be gone! so many memories i wanna keep. haha. maybe i shld print out everything and start a writing journal. haha.

dunno la.. now feel like i so wanna... haha. dunno how to say. WHERE'S THE CHRISTMAS MOOD.

i wanna dance!





haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUMIN!

well, happy belated. hahaha. this post was meant to be for this afternoon. but yeah had to go out. which was indeed great! went for birthday lunch to celebrate akbar's and fadly's birthday. at seoul garden. ahahah. the food was pretty good. and it's so nice to see them again after a long long long time. and they call themselves the dog gang. so much changes. as in looks. hahahah. and same old crappy them. fun! and syafiq also went. MATHANGI PANG SEH. haha. then we spent like 3 plus hours eating? then went to play pool at clementi there. SIGH. i totally suck. after not playing for so long. omg really like pool la dont mind spending hours playing... wanna improve. lol. but i dont think there's time this holidays. =( and then... spent 4 hours at pool. then we went to ginza plaza. hahahaha as usual for them to went to play lan and i just sat there and watch them play.. while listening to music. then took bus to jurong east and walk back home from there. cool! happy early birthday to fadly and akbar! such rare opportunities to see these people. =DDD totally love it. will miss you guys.

hahahha. on friday was outdoor adventure day. with odac. hahaha. fun again! kayaking and rollerblading. kayaking was great hahah just kayaked around at ecp there leisurely and suntanning. hahaha. geok val and me tried to get on one boat but it capsized and the boat flipped and hit my head! hahahha. and wei hao's attempt to capsize me also caused the boat to hit my head. oh gosh. then rollerblading was okay.. accompanied serene and clarissa most of the time. haha. hope it was fun for them. and val hope your back heals soon! then after tt we went to suntec for dinner. and i met up with sean. walked around and went to a JAZZ PUB. totally cool went there to join his father and his friend.. hahaha. we just sat there and listen to jazz music. and i tried singapore sling, blue job and bloody mary. haha... nice experience. first time. thanks sean!

hahahah yay my dad's leaving for china again. christmas period.

i love you i miss you so wanna get closer to you.

MATHAN!

haha. watching horror movies with mathangi is really a joke. she screams at every "scary" part and it's really funny! the colic and 9:56 just now. LOL. hahahahahaha. laughing like hell after everytime she screams. sean, melvin and me. hahaha. really fun watching with her. anyway today, suppose to jog, study, BUT. as usual none of these happen. end up slacking in sean's house. and then hanging out in west mall and watching 9:56, which is really dumb and un-understandable. haha. but had a fun time with 3 of them. hahahahha MATHAN YOU SO CUTE!

and yesterday.. was saints odac jog. coooool being the IC. though didnt do much. just brief and stuff.... and was quite slack. stopping and everything. sigh. then only around 13 people turn up i think... cause the rest overseas, or some other reasons. hahaha. it's okay... experience.. hopefully.... i do better next time. after the jog... got the krabi talk and everything. then we went home. and met up at night to celebrate geok's birthday! hahaha. yumin, mel, weihao, ziyi and me went. hahaha. was great! hope geok you had a nice birthday. =) we watched step up. 2nd time for me! which i think it's worth it. not bad movie... with the nice dances and all. really nice. inspired to dance! hahaa. then... we had dinner at swensens. and a birthday cake surprise for her! hahahah. so sweet.

stayed over at mummy's on monday. haha. love her house la. hai. so my sis is moving school again. somewhere in hougang. no more her next year! that's kinda sad. sigh. if things gonna piss me off next year, off to mummy's house. sigh... sounding like i'm making use of her.. ahaha. nvm. KAN ZHE BAN.

studies is really gone case. not much time left. really! please pray hard that i'll buck up next week. finish up chemistry. and then after krabi trip, maths. bio huh. byebye lor. haha. and next year, major happenings:

A levels. (to study hard for it)
Piano practical exam.
Music theory exam.
OEC.
LTC.
lots of activities in odac.

okay la... not that bad la. SO FUN!





happy birthday to you. =)











haha.

=)))))))))))

haha. yesterday was so much fun. spent with tian bee and weixing.. my 2 very good pri sch friends since pri 1. it's great la. that we're still in contact and meeting up every now and then. and it's only recently that we opened up to each other. and tell "more than that" stuffs. yeah.. it's like more personal. and close. that feeling. hahahahha. anyway.. we went to k box. and as usual.... SIGH. haha. half of the songs they sang i dunno. cause why? chinese songs. totally my fault that the mood isnt so high. but yeah.. quite alright la.. then we went for dinner.. and chatted at weixing's house downstairs there.. the playground. lol. it was nice.

THE WORLD IS TURNING GAY.

haha. today... sigh. slept. and slept.

piano exam and theory exam next year. NEXT YEAR. which is like 3 months away. and i'm halfway there. oh god. better buck up. and also studies. touched nothing yet. gonna start tomorrow. next week onwards. STUDY. and PIANO. priorities. and everything else after that. must read book. haha. and clean room. bla bla...

relax. relax. one thing at a time.

sigh. sigh. sigh.

just floating.

today's kayaking was great! although i totally suck at it really. cant bloody control the kayak, and pedal in a straight line. and backward pedal was totally crap. hahaha. but it was fun. and the capsize drill. damn scared at first. but actually quite alright la. just dont panic and stay calm! yeah. but really. i'm not a water person. i dont like water sports. and i think it's twice as straineous as on land. is there such a word haha. anyway. next kayaking session next next week. gonna be tough! anyway it's also those nice instructors that make such courses fun and enjoyable. really feel sad when the course ends and you'll feel like, that's it?

didnt join the odacers for dinner.. met melvin and sean. hahah. westmall forever. had dinner. and sat at kopi teh and chatted happily. so nice. hahaha.

yesterday... hahahah. handed in GPP early in the morning. and then... had trek dryrun. which was alright... well the games are gonna be fun! hope i conduct them well.. sigh... why am i still afraid. fucking shit.

and on monday. "escape". didnt know it only opens on weekends. mon to fri, closed. so we went to vivo... haha. okay lor. catching up with them. nice. then watched flushed away with sean. not bad la... quite funny. haha.

so yay! finally one day free tomorrow. gonna practise piano.. read book. do theory homework.. and just stay home and chill. haha.

helen just left without saying anything! and my dad also never inform us. so it is probably that they think i dont care, so not bothering to tell me.

I DUNNO LA.

sigh.

hehe

haha.haha.haha.

another one stupid full of things week coming up.

monday. escape with xueting hweeting huili and sean! so exciting cant wait to meet them.

then tuesday. have to go back to school to hand in gpf. then after that got trek dryrun.

wednesday. odac. kayaking.

thursday. THANK GOD nothing on.

friday. odac trek.

saturday. piano lesson. and kbox with weixing and tian bee. yay!

sunday. haha. free.

haha... when will the time come when i wake up everyday not knowing what will happen and just take things as they come.

anyway friday night was pretty fun. went to watch midnight movie with melvin and sean. after that went to xiu's house to stayover. well i'm quite a weakling so after a few games of bridge, the bridgers fell asleep while the mahjongers played on till 5 plus. we woke up at 10 plus. had breakfast cum lunch. then home. i went to mummy's house. hahaha. started to slack like crazy. played warcraft and watched movies. and sleep one thousand. haha. quite nice... sis and me. then slept there and next day continued the slackiness. met danchen just now it was her birthday. had dinner with her and my sis. hahaha. nice catching up with her. OMG AMERICA WITH HER AND WU YI SOUNDS SO FREEAKING NICE! hai really wish i could go. but i still dont dare to ask my dad. hai.. still not on good terms with him and helen. sorry la omg. i really cant bring myself to be so nice suddenly. it's not like he's so nice to me. parents and teens problem argh! just fuck. i'll try. i'll try.

what else... no time for studies.

no time for piano.

where's that interest.

time to relax

hahahh PW IS OVER!

so happy. end of it. i dont give a shit what grade i get. the only thing it has contributed to my life is, misery. hahah. maybe not. of course it was nice to work with christina, huiqin, farhana and keert. hope yeah... we'll continue to talk and stuff. haha. anyway op yesterday was fine. not as bad as i expected, so hooray. then spent the rest of the day with BMS.

today... was suppose to have trek dryrun. but rained. so met BMS. yeah.. and stuff. came home early today.

anyway it's the holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!! i should rejoice. and just relax. and although there's studies to worry about.. and odac things.. just take it easy. and find time to do what i like. and of course cant wait for christmas. but i guess this year's wont be as nice. i miss so many people, and cant wait to meet them soon. i wonder how it would be like if i spent my time:

staying at home and spend time with family.
really taking care and giving the cats and the rabbits and the guinea pig and the terrapin and the plants serious attention.
jogging regularly.
reading the newspapers everyday.
clearing up my room.
doing housework.
studying.
playing piano and reading books.

and not:

going out.
going out.
and going out.
and the only thing i do at home is, using the computer and watching the tv.

sigh. and i just realised... actually. i have been the fucked up one at home. not that i have only realised now.. but i am regretting that i chose to ignore everything. and being rude to my dad. and not trying. not trying at all.

and also not understanding some people at all.

it's just what you choose. choose to think, choose to behave. when you actually already know what will happen.

i also dont know what i'm talking about. but anyway, perhaps it's time to forget and let go. and not start blaming myself. and start afresh.





MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.

also, seek to learn and improve.

dont demand things from me, and fucking act like i owe you a living.

dont assume things about me and fucking act like you know me damn well.

it is very irritating.

=)

My past entries have really been emo. but that's what my blog is for. haha.

finally the week i've been looking forward to is here. but it's not so nice after all. cause i have to go back to school almost everyday. just now went back for op practise. and tomorrow again... plus odac stuffs. then actual op. then handing up one stupid I&R.

sat and sun was really nice. ahhaha. stayed out whole night. my dad is really not caring about us. just as long i'm back before they wake up, i'm safe! goodie goodie. stayover at sean's with melvin. and sitting at macs with kaijie and sean. coool.

eve, my kitten died. rest in peace.

piano totally sucks. due to lack of practise and very inconfident playing. of course i still love it very much. so, nope i'm never giving it up.

and danchen asked me to go with her to AMERICA this dec to visit wu yi. it would be really really really a miracle for my dad to allow. sigh. impossible.

this is the last week i'll slack. and start studying!!!! hahhaa.

cant wait for christmas.

look at the big picture. stop pointing out minute flaws.

goodbye, eve.







so nice. really really nice. hahahaha.

what the hell is going on?

haha.

totally loved playing catching (crocodile) with jx and sean and that little boy, justin.

totally loved playing shoot shag or marry with jia xin and sean. though it'll definitely bring us to hell.



really love the fact that A level's chi is tomorrow.

really love the world.

really love my family.





just cant wait for next week.



just a phase.

welcome to the black parade

love this song. hahahahahahah.

wasted day. so many wasted days.

guilt.

she wanted to talk to me today.

so she asked me about my plans for my future. and how do i want my life to be. and what kind of path i want to take. she explained how important is it to plan now.

and then mentioned my father. how rude i am towards him. how unwilling i am to talk to them. and then she said it will make them feel much better if i were nicer. and since he's so nice and a great dad, i should show some appreciation.

and then she wants my teacher's number. she wants to discuss with her, about how to help me in my studies.

HEY AM I GETTING IT HERE? i really dont understand you know. why and what are you doing?

firstly there are reasons why i treat my dad like that. it bloody hell takes two hands to clap. so, okay maybe i'm too much and getting out of hand.

I DUNNO.

okay so i'll try to be nice. and to respect. and to talk nicely.

but i hated it when you said i did badly for promos! oh my fuck do you know that i improved!?!?!? and that's the bloody point okay. dont come and tell me that i didnt do too well. because you dont know whats happening in school. you dont even ask. and then. you tell me to buck up. of course i will okay. i know. i know i know.


okay i'll be sensible. i'll do everything that is right and nice at home. and i'm not gonna act like oh how so badly i'm gonna be affected when they get married. and how sad he chased my sister away because she's moving in.


things just happen. and i'm gonna just accept it. and yeah. NO BIG DEAL.

but stop planning out my life for me. or even force me to do it.

no one really cares

OP sucks. hai. i suck la. i'm not good at it. i'm not good at speaking in front of crowds. my confidence level is basically, zero. hahaha. okay maybe not so bad. just that ms ye said i spoke too quickly, a little soft, monotone, bla bla bla. damn it. so depressing. and the Q&A part also gone. fucking hellllllllllllllllllll i hate it. i hate to be inconfident. i hate it when people say i'm quiet. i just hate it. haha. i dunno what's my problem since i am quiet by nature. but fuck. i dunno. it's me, it's not me, it's me, it's not.

okay full of shit. forget that.

today was nice! hahahah pri sch outing. supposedly.. in the end only gladys, jocelyn and me turned up. so 3 of us went to sentosa. we had a fun, relaxing time.. just lying down on the sand. and get cooked. i'm darker now so happy! hahaha. then yeah. one class from jjc came along. and clara and meiyee were there! said hi and stuff. hahaha. so happy again to see old friends. yea. so we soaked in the sun for about 3 hours... then went to eat at sakae! nice nice. but not the buffet one though. yeah.. then we went to vivocity. sat on the stairs there at the rooftop. sooo nice! cooling weather and all... then we took pictures. today is super NUA DAY. hahahha. lying, stoning, sitting. only at the end we walked around a little. then home with gladys. hahahah. love pri sch gang. we should hang out more la.. and give ourselves a name. hopefully the christmas/coundown thing will be on.

and then yesterday, last day of school. got back our result slips. not very happy stuffs.. forget it. then after school went out with raine, grace and jing yu. haha. went to marina square. subway. walk walk walk, talk talk talk. haha. met sean.. then jx and melvin.. met melvin's friends at the vilage. then... starbucks, sean's house. hahahah.

so fucking op dryrun is up next. then chinese a levels. then the real op. then odac odac odac. KRABI! and studies studies studies. it never ends. it never ends until december next year. yeah, so look forward to that.

what mr lam said to us that they was quite.. erm motivational i guess.. something like.. no matter how stressful and miserable it gets, it's just 2 years, and it'll end before you know it. so press on, and dont stop loving yourself. hahahah. means something to me. well...

so much to learn.
so much to improve on.





fuck.



confidence!
confidence!

it's not something you feel, but something you act.

yeah go on, magnify your problems.

i should stuff by brain with shit.

haha.

finally the holidays are here. op. chi a level. and then odac and studies. and then krabi. CHRISTMAS. cant wait. sigh.

dragonboating on fri was FUN! hahah. luckily they didnt cancel it because of the haze. i was actually hoping they will.. but nvm. yeah good they didnt! enjoyed it very much. plus johnson the instructor. amusing us with his jokes. and he's really nice. teaching us and everything.. and kallang river's quite nice. haha. that bridge place there. after that we went to KFC at kallang there. dunno where. yeah.. results is such a big topic to talk about. and then yeah.. i really dunno.. hai nvm.

then yesterday was... piano. god. i suck suck suck. i havent been practising hard enough. and i know my teacher is quite pissed. hai. and never do theory homework.. hai.. aiya nvm la. small thing. just gotta put in more effort.

then after that went out with sean and jx.. I LOVE ESPLANADE ROOFTOP still. then watched movie. the prestige! so nice. love scarlet.

there are those who only choose to treat their friends nice and bloody hell despise everyone else.

there are those who want so badly to be cool.

there are those who love to magnify their problems and think that they have the worst lives in the world.

there are those who just go on and on and on and on complaining about everything.

there are those who are just so freaking insensitive.

there are those who just really love the world to revolve around them.

there are those who are really fucking nasty and their only purpose in this world is to make others feel like shit.

there are those who must reject all the old and ugly from their lives.

there are those who just wont give chances and discriminate others right in their faces.























maybe look at the positive side. thank god for these people that we have something to learn from.

and of course, dont have to bother much about it.

hai. my dad is getting more and more irritating each day. i shall be sensible.

MFB!

first it's my dad.

then it's bloody OP.

and then, it's all those people.

do i care. i dont have to, seriously.

anyway this week was quite horrible. as in it's really a pain going to school. especially OP is a piece of shit. that fake interest and smiles i have to give. i like my group members but the thing we are doing. oh please. and it's really sad the only thing we talk about is PW. so hope that we can have more than that. and feeling so tired everyday... dunno why. gotta lighten up!

but the most irrtating one is still... argh better not say it. it'll be a great sin and probably go to hell. and he's GF is coming to town! omg........ and because of that, he changed the toilets, cleaned the house and packed everything up. that isnt a bad thing. so nvm that. stop freaking shouting at my sister. so bloody obvious that you've everything against her! even over the smallest thing, shout. scold. i know you want her out la okay.... and how is that gonna fucking make me feel. although i havent really been a great sister and all. argh! okay now i sound like fake. probably should blame myself as well. should really control myself and stop being so mad at her. okay. being an elder sis, fail. and great, helen is gonna stay with us. he is going to pretend being nice. i know that's a natural thing to do. and start calling me chiu xian. and i, have to pretend again. i really dont give a damn okay. but i'm gonna have to go and try to talk. made worst when my chinese sucks.

forget it. give people a chance. acceptance. haha.
and also, it's not too late.. TREAT CHARLYNN NICE.

feel like fucking shit and empty inside. all that forced smiles. all that fake interest. all that shallow talk. i'm a fake. i lie. i'm sorry.

seriously dunno what's my problem.... argh. everyday it's like passing by. without anything really happening. always feel like, i'm in it, but i'm not really IN it. and that it can be all sorts of shit.

i dont look forward to anything at all.

99% of what i feel is hatred and fear.

haha.

post promos

haha. hazy sunday. with nothing to do. probably fetch my sis later.

past weeks have been quite nice.. with odac coming back. and being able to go out with grace they all without worrying about studies. haha.

results out! C for bio.. E for the rest.. and failed maths.

i'm quite alright with it. haha. next week start a new. study again. gotta worry about a levels.

anyway yesterday was SA's open house. and odac had a booth near the rock wall there.. and some of us attempted to climb. hahahhaha. i am so freaking demoralised. the wall is damn hard to climb oh my god..... and only jason, yuda and minqi managed to pass the half mark of the easiest route. haha. oh well... the next two rock climbing sessions we must conquer that wall! and prepare ourselves for krabi trip. hai... depressing.

the night before. bunch of us went to xiu hui's house to stay over! hahaha. damn fun. some played mahjong.. the rest just slacked around and played card games.. dumb dumb games made us laugh like hell. haha. then i'm quite a weakling. only edmund and me slept for the last 2 hours while the rest continued to play until we had to leave the house. had breakfast in macs.. then went for open house. saw some familiar faces from bbss. hahaha. hopefully they come to SA. haha.

after the open house suppose to meet BMS. i reached home, planned to rest a while before calling them. but wtf the next time i opened my eyes was already 1145pm. hai. yeah.. so i slept for 11 hours. till this morning. haha.

and..... haha. shall go have breakfast now.

continue later.

finally blogging. haha. dunno la actually nothing to say also wtf just that promos are here and i've been quite a slack just reading through notes and thinking that i still have many days but actually there's only one day left to bio. not prepared for maths and geog and totally having time for it man.

hahahahah but these few days were pretty fun. hanging out with BMS. SO FUN!! and melvin's birthday yesterday. please tell us we're the sweetest friends. okay the highlight was, we were in bugis TCC. then after dinner, we blindfolded him and walked him all the way to the DHL hotair balloon and brought him up! and the best is he totally had no idea. it must have felt reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally great. knowing nothing and then suddenly you take off your blindfold and you're rising up in a freaking hotair balloon. though its the most unreal one. sad thing was jx and i didnt go up! only sean and melvin. haha. but totally felt happy for him. hahaha all in all i guess his birthday was quite a success, despite the flipflops. hahah.

i just cant freaking wait for christmas to come.

i just cant freaking wait for all these to end.

i just cant freaking wait for A levels to be here.

so that soon, every goddamn worry will be gone.

but of course,

life's all about enjoying every moment of it!

you know smelling the roses and stuff.

so yeah, take it easy.

and fuck why the hell my msn cant work. please dont tell me i have to full restore the whole thing.

oh god.

I MISS ODAC PEOPLE.

time, please freeze.

haha. today is such a weird day! first was chem makeup lesson being cancelled. then the trek recce being cancelled. then was melvin and me not going to sean's play. oh my. so whole day. SLACKED. slept most of the time. to make up the 2 hours sleep yesterday. haha. SO SORRY SEAN! i hope you're not angry.

anyway.. then tianbee came to my house. to study. but oh well. slacker+slacker=waste time.

FEAR la...........

TA MA DE.

anyway. left 3 days. and homework to complete. maths ws. essay. I&R. chem tutorial.

and studying for promos has occured man........................................

shit.

anyway. although the studying was not there, i definitely had a great week! starting from last thursday.

totally fun-filled.

the going back to bbss. the movie marathon with amirul. the rockclimbing. the linus' birthday celebration. the outing with val. and the partyworld with yumin and geok! really nice. sang until 3am. hahaha. though i know nuts about chinese songs! sigh so sorry.

and my dad has left for china. and i'm so alone this 1 week holiday! richavel is treating this house like a hotel seriously. not coming back until the next evening, then going out again. and younger sis.... staying with mum. yeah...

3 days.

plus tonight.

HELP.

sigh.

okay so next 2 weeks. hai.. have to do some planning. priorities are. STUDYING. and piano. yes. that's it. that's just it.

I MISS YOU. are you still there?

haha.

love my cats!

it's a wonderful day... lalalallalala. yay it's a beautiful day.

helloo! omg today damn fun! hahahah. just love it when there are days like this. thanks so much. to people who made my day!

first was ROCK CLIMBING. so damn fun! hahahha love it man. that partnering with abu is really quite amusing. firstly i'm too light to be his belayer. so my feet went off the ground for 3 or 4 times. haha. pretty fun. but once he just fell unexpectedly and my hands sorta got rope burnt. yeah blisters and all that. hahaha. until instructor amir had to change find us new partners. anyway i had real fun climbing the various walls. though it got impossible to conquer any nearing the end of the day. =( so exciting i would love to climb again. haha. then... INSTRUCTOR AMIR! damn nice also. such nicey. with his humour and good teaching. oh man, hope we meet again! haha. next, SAJC rock wall!!

hahahah. after the rock climbing, left odac. then went with abu to meet mel they all.. hahahahha. another exciting thing. celebrated linus' birthday. haha. abu and i went to buy a cake while the rest of them watched movie.. haha. then gave him a surprise. well, hope he had a great time. we played the fountain thing at bugis there. hahah and ate at some thai restaurant. cooool. damn nice tomyam thing! ahhh love tomyam! yeah then home.

great day!

so dad is leaving tomorrow.

so i havent done any work yet since friday.

so i have to go back school on wed and thurs.

so there are piano lessons on wed and thurs. and i think my teacher is starting to dislike me. why the sudden change?!?!

so holidays is ending in a glimpse. and promos is just 3 weeks away. 21 days.

so, it is.

damn sad. damn damn sad.

hello!

people please tag!

haha.

anyway today i had a great great great great time. first was the celebration in sajc. was quite fun. although i didnt sit together with odac. haha. not ps-ing! anyway yeah. jing yu is really funny! hahahahah. then the concert. some performances were really impressive. and the teachers awards. haha. plus that super funny video! damn cute. ahhaha congrats to the SC. and in the morning odac had mini celebration for the odac teachers. haha. had a giant card and a cake for them, plus singing happy birhday song. replacing happy birthday with happy teachers' day. haha.

and then after that i RUSHED to bbss. BBSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg! OMG. sigh. just cant describe that feeling the moment i stepped into bbss. k la maybe not bbss but when i went to outside the staff room there where all my friends and teachers were. so happy!!!!!! tmd. ahahaha. i met jerrold on the bus and went in with him.. hahaha. then yeah most of my classmates were there! felt so goooooooooood to see them again!! oh my. haha. miss 4e3 la............ GOD. plus the teachers. talked to mrs lim. MRS LIM. best maths teacher in the world. haha. and mr latiff. MR LATIFF. ohmygod my favourite teacher!!! and also xie lao shi. hahaha. nicey. and miss ngiam. love love love lovelovelove. yeah and teachers like mdm yaw and mr quek were on course.. sigh. i so miss the past. so so so so so so so miss.

emo part! after hearing stuffs today my friends and teachers said. somehow. i felt quite sad. and felt like "why on earth did i come to sa?!!?!?!" haha. i dunno la.. the sad part is that i'm the only one from bbss in sa. and now, it's so hard to feel like you belong. fuck la. fuckfuckufckufkfuck. of course i made super nice friends and all. but then. you still feel so teeny weeny. i also dunno how to say. you're probably gonna not understand really what i'm trying to say here. anyway yeah. and my class now. wowness. sigh. dunno la. but luckily there's still some people who care and dont judge.

anyway!! forget it. then after that went to have lunch with mathan, melvin, jx and hweeting! hahahah was quite fun. chatted and everything. being vulgar like nobody's business. haha. then i met kaijie too. lol. and laibao. pri sch friend!! haha. then. we found freaking 10 dollars on the floor!!!! omg and it was so funny when jx screamed!! lol. we thought of donating it. hahaha but then not so saint. we just splitted the money. 2 dollars each. haha. end up buying cards to play bridge! our fav game last time. haha. went to some void deck. and played. hahah. then i had to leave for piano lesson.. in the end didnt meet sean, didnt meet geok they all, didnt meet raine. sorry raine!! and i slept. i think somehow excess sleep makes you depressed! haha. and now left jasmine, hady, jon leong and paul. hady, please be the singapore idol.

haha. so i think i'm going to krunk market tomorrow!!! lol. i also dunno la. never try this kinda thing before. and supposedly going with grace, raine, christopher.... plus tomorrow got the first aid test. oh man. how am i suppose to meet them!! surely in the end cannot work out one. sigh.

it's the holidays!!! but. so many things going on.

haiya. just relax. take things one at a time.

most importantly. STUDY!!!!!!!

just remember,
the grass is no more greener on the other side.

haha.
treasure!!!

sigh. I&R or slack?!?!?!!!!??!

let's waste time.
let's forget the world.

september, come, stay, dont go away.

hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

just had the sudden urge to wanna blog. and talk about stuffs.

today was really nice! haha. odac jog taskforce had our very first dryrun. so we ran from school to bishan park. was about 5 km. quite shuang. ran non-stop and then reached there it was already dark. hahaha. we sat at the grass patch there and just discussed some points and started to chat about other stuffs. love them. hahaha. val, yumin and lester. odac people are just so nice and funny and lovable. thank god for odac really. then we went to eat at pp macs and started to study.. was only for a while. then took cab home with val. hahahah.

anyway what a nice weekend. so free. no worries. just have a bio test on monday and maths test on tuesday.

i just so look forward to sept hols and that period of time before promos begin. hahahah. first thing. MY DAD'S GOING OVERSEAS. haha. not that i should be happy about it. but yay! i mean.... i have to do housework and worry about my sis's wellbeing. and i have to go to school on my own. but anyway. i think i'll still be happier.

haha.

and then. there's no odac. frees up a lot of time. goodie.

it's just that. it's gonna be sooooooooo free and promos is the only worry.

oh how i love exam periods.

not that studying for promos is a very easy job.................................

argh.

FEAR.

Fuck Everything And Run.

haha.

A happy life includes:

Good family

Good friends

Doing things that you enjoy

Healthy amount of work that keeps you going

Good self esteem and self image

Ability to find inner peace

Love and to be loved




hahahah just crap.

just take things as they come, no worries!

life.

is.

beautiful.


yesterday!! odac day cycling. lol. damn fun. especially the slopes down. and group 3 definitely learnt the importance of first aid and wearing helmets. really what an experience for us! haha.

and then went to meet band peeps. i missed the POP. sadness. but glad that i caught up a little with some of them. but i didnt get to see my favourite junior!!!!!! hahahah. miss him like hell. anyway miss band miss band miss band miss band miss bbss band. ta ma de. haha.

DONT WASTE THE YOUTH AWAY!!!!!!!! the spring of life is about to be over. and here comes summer.

lallalalallalalal life is wonderful. =)

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes a word to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some tears to make you trust
It takes some years to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to know you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is oh love
Ah la la la la la la love is all sorts of
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is holla holla
Ah la la la la la la next up bushwalla-walla
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz.



hahahaha currently love this song.

TAKE IT EASY PEOPLE. dont drown.

it has been so long.

no one tags!

sigh.

nothing much to blog about either...

just that, life's so busy.

but i'm loving it.

not that bad la..

that's what make it interesting.

just that i miss the past.

i miss BMS.

i miss being in 4e3.

I MISS BAND.

omg.. that night went to watch sp concert band. really felt like shit. so wanna turn back and rewind everything. shouldnt have.

but anyway. whatever path i'm taking now.. i'm gonna smell the roses. and enjoy every scenery.

WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL JAY IS OUT!!!!! i dont want!!!!!! omg.. i'm so sad. sad sad sad sad for him. sigh. why?! those who watched just now, GROUP 1 WAS OBVIOUSLY THE WEAKER GROUP! ppl like hady and mathilda getting lower votes?!!!?!?!?!

aiya whatever la. haha.

anyway. so fun tomorrow got rapture. cool!! i hope it's gonna be fun. with mel and people. love them!

then sat must go school do banner shit and make up bio.

then sun going out with BMS!!!! hahahahaha yay!

anyway. i'm just damn sad that we're not close anymore.

my fault, i started the distan-ing.










all that hidden feelings.

anyway my cat gave birth to 3 lovely black kittens!! hahahaha. now staying my house outside. damn sweet. love cats. to the sky high.



home sucks.

never felt the joy of being at home.

where's my dad? where's my mum?

cant help but feel hatred.


















where, then?


















hahahahha. whatever la.


i just wanna find one night. one whole night. go out. to some nice place. somewhere high. where it's windy. with a nice view. and when you look up, there's the moon and the stars.

my jokes really....................................

so corny lol.

hahahhahaha. ya la just wanna hang out and relax with a bunch of good friends!

i wanna

SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!












it's all about perspective huh.

so hard to change the way you look at things.















aiya........................

omg. cant stand the way i typed.

ok! back to reality.

no FEAR!

just do it!

love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

hahahahah okay enough of all the sadness!

i'm soooo happy!

hahahah.

anyway. wanna talk about yesterday.

finally met up with sean, melvin and jia xin! BMS! i'm so so so so happy really happy to see you all again!!!! we had a great time. crapping all over again. melvin you're still as funny as ever!!! love you la! and then.. we met in PS. then ate.. and went to that church thing. haha. was nice.. like some concert and then in the end asking you to accept God into your life. yeah.. saw joanne too. haha. and this guy, "orange shirt" haha. said he saw me in sa before.. so we chatted for a bit. haha. after that went to eat in lao pat sat. is that how you spell it. haha. great food! then went to meet sean's friend.

haha. really enjoy being with you guys a lot.

and also wanna say SORRY if i've done anything wrong last time.

and glad that we're back again.


hahaha. then today... went out again. to yumin's house. yumin................ haha. val yumin and i.. met to do proposal. was quite sianZ doing it. haha. for the whole afternoon. hope this time it will work. after that went to have dinner with her family. such a cute family! can just crap. funny la. haha.

went to fetch my sis. sianZ again. met mummy. watch my sis have dinner. then took bus home. sianZ.

totally sianZified. haha.

another new week. got chi listening. odac.. actually quite free la. haha. yay. then meeting BMS on tues. hhahahha looking forward to it.

then on fri!!!!!!! woo hoo! pri sch outing! going to alan's house to sleep over. also celebrate mingjie's and jocelyn's birthdays. hahahahah. so fun. love love love.

3 hearts that God hates: the haughty heart, the hindered heart and the hardened heart.

3 hearts that God loves: the humble heart, the hungry heart and the honest heart.

hahaha.

life's just the way you look at it.

YES.

sings-i dont wanna fall to pieces, i just wanna sit and stare at you.

hahahahahah.

what's wrong with me?!?

haha.

urgh.

and i just hate people who gets insensitive all the fking time. and especially your close friends. and they do things that are not friends enough. you know, BU GOU PENG YOU. that sucks. really sucks. i mean, come on.

or maybe yes, i'm just not important enough to you.

what's this. friendship.

heartbreakening piece of fuck.

SHIT!

where is the love?

haha.






odac odac odac odac odac..

hai hai hai hai hai..

i dont why.. really dont know why.. why the problem still hangs around. why do i still feel that way..

but of course. i love the people in there. really.

something is so wrong with me.

i gotta get over it.

real soon.

before i break.









maybe i know why... i was once a big fish in a small tank. now, an ikan bilis in an ocean.

yes.

this change.

is damn sad.

struggling.


















hahahahha forget about that. emo entry.

always look on the bright side of life.

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

i am sooo good.

one great chance.

like that.

just let it slip all away.

great.

great.

great.






you you you you you you yes you.

i shall never forget.

so wanna talk to you.

so wanna let you know.









okay never mind.. hahahah. sings- i dont give a damn i dont give a damn i dont give a damn.





ahhhh bio!! forget it la.. wasnt really good anyway. sigh sigh sigh sigh.

ahh.

JAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD. i love him!!!!!! screams!

as in singapore idol.

yesterday i went to jurong point to see the 12 contestants. hahahahhaa. and my favourite!!!! they were standing in 1 row and jay was at one end!! so i went to that end of the stage to see him like only 1mm away!!! ahahha.

yeah then they had their autograph session.. and my mum came.. so... we walked back to the place one round, and walked pass JAY! and my mum went "HI JAY!!!!" really. and she waved to him.

and
he
freaking
turned
and
waved
back
and smiled.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it was this close!!!!

yeah then my mum shouted some shit again. like "you are so handsome."

hahahah. he turned and waved and smiled and nodded and mouthed something. i forgot!

i'm not cheating myself okay.... it really happened. haha.

oh my god............................ i so think he's GREAT. he can sing. and he's freaking emotional! hahahahahhaha.

ahhahah.

off to lunch.

and some serious studying.

3 lovely people

OMG it's the last day of the holidays!!! and tomorrow's chinese paper and listening comprehension. i didnt really prepare.. just read through the texts. i hope that helps! anyway just gonna try my best.. i hope it's not gonna be so so so tough.

today was really nice. went studying with weixing and tianbee! hahah. quite unsuccessful.. again. haha. we started chatting and doing other stuffs. like that suduko thing. how do you spell that! omg. and i read my comic. I LOVE!!!!! it's some gay comic and it's making me melt. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. then after tt we went for an early dinner. like at 5pm. went back to study and we started to chat! like so fun! we talked about good old times in primary school. and about life now. it's like some heart to heart conversations. at least i managed to pour out some of my feelings. and... they too. and i realise actually. yeah. THINGS AINT THAT BAD AFTER ALL. omg i'm such a fool i should know that! hhahaha. how many times do i want this thing to happen. anyway.... it was like so heartwarming. hahahah. love them both so much! 10 years of friendship. lol. then we were like talking about the future. talking about relationships. hahhhhaha. aiya. yeah. i just hope, this will continue.

term 3. 2 months. please let it end quick!!! hahaha. i just cant cant cant wait for Alevels to end. but this shouldnt be. hahah. i shld like enjoy every moment of life. and make everything count.

hai! i got so much to say. but dunno what to say.

good night!

good life.

BE nice.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

sianZ.

just when things are going fine and up, wtf once again upset. disappointed.

the worst thing that is gonna happen is that i'll hate myself all over again and get into the freaking low self-esteem state. ARGH. what the heck is wrong with me?!?!?!

i'm sorry but it just gets me down down down down DOWN!

i need counselling.

just feel so freaking

L
O
U
S
Y
.

and like i dont belong anywhere.

i dont know. i really dont know.

this is not what i wanna be. but it just so happens it's in me. drilled into me.

i really dont want. what am i suppose to do? where am i suppose to start?

sigh... i think i'm EMOGALX.

damn it la..............................

sigh!

so the thing is, i should just concentrate on my abilities. and heck about the rest. yes. good.

FEAR=fuck everything and run.



































anyway. just came back from the odac gathering not long ago.. it was at min qi's house. was pretty fun. there's this potluck thing, so everybody brought their own food. i brought fruits! haha. and then val and me arrived early at her house. and we jsut sat around.. and listened to the exco discuss the farewell thing. and it sounds really nice and fun!! it's gonna be so touching i think the j1s will cry as well. ahhahaha. what else.. we just sat around.. at the pool there. and discuss some odac stuffs. and played truth or dare. hahahaha. had some laughs.. and yeah.. just relaxing. went home at about 11. with abu. chatted and stuff. ya then reached home.

this morning had piano lesson. and i got my grade 4 books already! oh my so exciting. haha. cant wait to play. exams next march! around 7 months.. should be enough. hahahaha.

and yesterday.. tuesday.. weixing and tian bee came over to my house to study. was quite successful for me. haha. finished 2 chaps of bio. and then went out for lunch.. came back and continued studying. at night went to west mall for dinner and watched silent hill!! so nice! it's quite scary. and interesting story. hahah. then went home... and watched tv. and fell asleep on the sofa.

MONDAY. had our jog recce! was quite enjoyable. yumin, val, lester and me started walking from school to botanic gardens. super tiring. we like took some wrong paths and yeah. it was a very long distance. we took a break at balmoral plaza there. then continued... and finally reached. at the eco gardens, was really nice! peaceful and pretty. with many pigeons around. and 4 black swans who came out of the pond to eat grass. ahhaha. so not afraid of humans. very nice la... while the 3 of them went to walk the stone path, i just sat there and like listened to the sounds and just stare at the nice view. yumin, val and me also played with the pigeons and swans. so nice! plus both of them going high during the walk. that dog scene was hilarious la.. both their reactions.. lol. and then................ after botanic gardens.. 3 of us went to bugis. to eat and walk around and shop. that cafe v8 is nice! cheap and everything. the taste part is good, but they should seriously do something about improving the looks of their food. my spaghetti looked like LS, and val's seafood something looked like puke. haha. yumin's nearly looked like blood. oh man. hahahah. had a nice time walking around with them. loves.

hahahah. so three days gone for the last week. chinese not touched. exam on monday.

hai! term 3. so before common test is over. time is quite relaxing. no odac. break on certain days. should have time for studying and piano. perhaps touching up on the proposal. and other stuff... like FITNESS. still havent jogged until now. SHIT.

after common test.... WOAH HO. busy busy busy. monday tuesday. go library study geog for h1 exam! also must go home practise piano. wednesday odac. thurs piano lesson. fri odac.

aiya what crap.

zou yi bu, suan yi bu.






please.