silence in the air....

hello. hahaha.. mother tongue o level today... was alright.... dont think i'll do well for paper 1.. and paper 2... hopefully i wont get 35/80 again... hahha.. this time i answered fully the comprehension questions.. and only got one wrong for tian xie han zi.. and one wrong for zao ju... guess i did okay.. A1???? nah....... depends on my oral.. and listening i dont care must get full marks!!!! since i am an audio person... haha...

it was kinda scary in the exam hall.... so... the feeling when taking the rest of the papers end of this year... can imagine how is it gonna be like. killer nerves...

after the exam... went to eat with them... at mac... wanted to go home.. and rest.. and relax.. so i slept for a while... woke up and got ready for the prefects' farewell party... was okay... most of the time doing nothing. first was listening to the radio with chieng yang... they repeated the american idol final.. argueing who's better.. of course i like bo and he likes carrie. ahhhh lame stuffs.. then the food came.. ate.. talked to de yong.. then with ida they all.. relaxing.. then the performance thing... we were the "spoilers".. nobody wanted to go up and walk. sigh... togetherness of the board... and then prize giving.. prom king was sze xin and prom queen was faridah. haha.. then home...

walked back with deyong and joseph... from school to the interchange. chance of my life. ya jokes... so..... of course.. kept quiet.. nothing to talk about.. then just walk walk walk... sigh... talked to deyong then joseph walked behind us.. listening to his music.. wonder whether he heard what we were talking about.. hahahahhahaa.. ahhh love my junior. such a nice guy.

so.. tomorrow and the next gonna be with the band.. fun! haha.. not going for lessons tomorrow.

then thursday back to work. study!!!!!!!

off to play some game. resident evil!!!!

one more day.

holidays holidays holidays... looking forward to it. although for us sec 4s it's like a time for revision and bucking up.. but at least it's a break.. from school.. from... aiya.. stress..

left a day... and gonna have chinese o level... i hope hope hope hope i can do well... i studied alright. i did. the rest is up to erm.. luck? whether i want to do it or not. sigh.... oh well...

today.. went to study with tian bee and wei xing again. it was good. study talk study talk. at some bench under the block. blk 307.. haha.. where shi jie stay.. yeah was hot.. stuffy.. but quiet.. which is good. and many cute cats walked by.. and some thoughtful guy was bouncing the basketball and walked past us.. and how nice of him to stop bouncing for a while. how considerate. so we did from 3pm to 7 plus pm... before that went for lunch. plates of wan tan mee which made us nauseous(how do you spell it)... er... yeah.. then dinner downstairs with dad and tian bee...

after monday. i'm gonna slack that day. go home. or go out. wanna read some interesting storybooks i have. then tuesday.. go school in the morning.. after that the performance rehearsal? havent read the band board yet.. maybe some changes.... so... wednesday... whole day booked by band.. thursday back to lessons.. plus friday... hopefully there is no need to go back again the following week... then i can study happily with tian bee.. and weixing(hopefully, hahaha).. plans for the holidays? hmmmm.. firstly i wanna clean up my room... havent been "my room" for a long time... then.... my dad is going to be away in china.. hmm i wonder why..... haha... some girlfriend he's having... what the hell!!! tell the whole world except me. i mean.. he only told my sister and mother. hiding it from me? what's the meaning?! my o's ah? dont wanna distract me ah? sigh. anyway he'll be leaving on the 16... until 25. so i'm kinda.......... freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. haha. it's gonna be so great. then... the main thing is to study still... then sean's coming back on the 26.. i'm gonna have some fun before school reopens. yeah that's it. and the real scary part comes.... actually it should be here now.. just not feeling it yet.. then when? 1 week before?

yeap... life's good. for now.

miss the old times.

hey hey hey...

haha.. watching american idol now... bo will win!!! anyway he's better and has more fans...

the show just finished.. really really hope bo will win... then they showed a clip on the whole american idol journey.. so touching. hahaha.. anthony!!!!!! and vonzell.. and constantine. hope they'll continue their dream.

hahahah.

yesterday didnt go to school. because of the haircut. you know, my mum is undergoing a course to become a hairdresser.. then it was her practical exam yesterday.. so she used me as her model... errr yeah... and.... the outcome? not very nice.. so... her teacher trimmed my hair.. and made it look better. so?? yeah... my hair is short now. argh... like last time. oh well and i changed my glasses. so i had a makeunder. jokes... and today i braved through the comments and insults. haha...

it could be fun.. changing image every now and then.

this week is the intensive chinese week.. was alright.. did those papers.. kinda sian. but i wanna get an A1!!!! nothing is impossible. and some charming told me not to go back and see him if i dont get A1... hahahahha.. kinda sweet when he said that.

oh my i'm in love with you!! yeah yeah..

but how i wish we could go back to the old times. when we were so close and comfortable with each other. friends forever?

june holidays game? wanna study study study study.. 3 months solid. it can be done.

tian bee's coming over in a while.. hahaha.. suddenly so close. aiya just wish the 3 of us can be good friends again.

chinese rocks actually. wonder why i drifted from it. i was good at it in the past. sigh....

band performance coming up in june.. 1st of june.. not prepared at all... miss playing.. this reminds me of the direct admission thing. argh.. can get it i'll... i'll.. jump.

so many things i want.. i wish for.. but doing nothing about it.. what logic??

i'm really losing out a lot, a lot.

heya...

nice weekend spent with tian bee and weixing.. haha.. i'm lovin' it! just caught a movie with them.. amityville horror. is that the correct spelling? yeah.. it's good. not very scary or what. still prefer house of wax.

love watching movies.

and yay. they're coming over to study tomorrow.

and about the losing out thing... i just feel so lousy.. as a person. in terms of..... EVERYTHING. sigh..

inferiority complex. haha..

lack of confidence.

just simply.. SHY.

urgh... this sucks.

that's why i fail in a lot of things.

why me? can i just get the hell out of this shit.

































ahhhh forget it.

hmmmm.... dont fret my dear...

anyway... holy shit my dad is getting married. my thoughts? dont bother me.

hahahaha.. selfish thing to say... but... i really dont know.

he hasnt been very nice to me either.

kinda getting it.. why my mum said it sucks big time living with him.

and he dont even say a thing about having a girlfriend.

what? just one fine day bring a woman home and say, girl this is my wife/girlfriend.

hahahaha.. never mind.. after all he is the great father i have. who brought us up into such lovely creatures.

really really really really wanna go to JC... HAHA L1R5 25... go where??? and that direct admission thing. my dreams man....... no harm trying... but it's like. bu zi liang li. argh.

so............. gotta go bathe!

lots of stuff to think about.

i need a change in me. pathetic....

have faith.

have courage.

whatever..... haha. byeee!

gloom.

harlow.

pentecost sunday.

singapore poly band concert.

shuming, will always look up to him as a senior.

went with ben and matthew and mr goh and andrew and people.

nothing about studies done in 3 days.

have to face it. serious studying. chinese o'levels. ahhhhh oral...

some people really suck. experts at making people feel so so bad and insignificant.

well, doesnt concern me.

something's wrong...

and i'm so glad knowing you.

rain! rain! wash away the sins of the world!

ahhhhhhh jokes...

planned to study chinese today.. as usual.. BUT.. i went out instead.. it was one fun day. woke up around 12. then had breakfast. then tried to study some chinese. matthew called.. asked me to go out.. with his cousin.. and him.. so i met them in west mall. made a new friend. benedict! hhahaha.. did not know where to go.. so we went down to coffee bean.. drank our stuffs.. talked.. then after long thoughts.. we decided to go to bukit timah hill.. to hike.. yeah it was fun.. we first saw the monkeys.. fighting and doing SOME stuff. hahahahha.. then we walked up to the submit. it was kinda tiring.. and walking in my slippers....... hmmm got a blister now.. it was just nice.. to erm.. hike.. haha... our first stop was the look-out place.. a quarry or something.. was nice.. the view and all.. then we reached the submit.. rested.. made our way down.. i decided to walk down bare-footed. hahah.. felt better. soooooooooooooooo.. some people had his mum to pick them up.. leaving me all alone. haha. so i walked.. went home..

and i had dinner with my dad just now.. at some place in bukit timah...

i do not want to go back to normal lessons......... i know it's gonna suck...... somehow i'm afraid of the teachers... argh............

what else.............. sigh problems problems problems... worries worries worries...

shut up.

sleep now, my baby.
be still, dont cry.

make a wish and follow it wherever it leads you... may all your birthday dreams come true...

harlow!!! hahaha.. not yet over.. still got 10 minutes.. happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birrrrrrthday.. haaaaaaaaapppy birthday.. happy birthday toooooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

hahahha... this year's one of the great birthdays i ever had in my life.. there are only a few i remember.. last year's i celebrated it in MC. with sean, medeline, jeremy, hua qian? was really really happy and touched.. when i saw jeremy and medeline coming up the escalator with a cake in their hands.. hahhaa... i mean.. i'm not really close to them.. and they did that for me.. really nice lah... haha.. ooooppss i used 'lah'... and had fun in MC.. playing a fool and all that. and that's the day i got to know daniel and weida.. haha... yep... and a great dinner with my family at night.

last last year one was a craaaaazzzzyyyy one! and also the only year the class sang a birthday song for me. haha. just remembering jia wei coming into the class with a packet of flour.. and the fun began.. throwing flour at each other.. with suria.. waileong.. yong kai.. hahahahahha.. memories! and the class was in a mess!! then......... the cleaner came and started to scold us.. he went down to tell mr neo... so, we got into trouble. half of the afternoon spent cleaning up the classroom.. and then standing outside the general office. nearly got beta form... haha.. but nice xue ting and hweeting saved me.. told mr neo that i'm the poor victim.. and did not expect anything or planned anything. so....... nice mr neo let me off... awwww.. so sorry guys! got you all into trouble. but what's secondary school life without creating some havoc?!

i just realised.... mmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!!! it's oooooooooooovveeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! awwwwwww 16 yrs and 9 minutes of my life... whew!

hmmmmmm sec 1.... i dont remember!! primary school.. remembered that mini party in my house.. with dan chen.. wuyi.. fun times! primary 6 some dearest gave me a plant which is still surviving now... hahahah never want it to die.

when i was a little girl.. my big birthday celebration in mcdonalds in king albert's park. hahaha..

and the birthday cakes........ i seem to like that part of a birthday the most!

ahahahhaha.. just felt like digging out some memories. err my english.

sooooooooooooooooooo... today!!!! nah i mean yesterday... 12th May 2005.. had biology paper 1 in the morning... went to school.. was raining.. haha.. first present received! from zul! shocking.. hahhaa.. but really thanks a lot!!! poovanes too.. then the wishes.. through smses and handshakes.. made my day. thank you people!!! you all really mean a lot to me. although most of the time it is not shown... so bio... was kinda easy... then after that waited for melvin to finish his lit paper.. then went home.. prepared myself.. sean called.. haha.. thanks sean!!! dear!!! hahaha..

met mathangi.. then made our way to orchard.. surprisingly i wore a skirt. plus a chio blouse. errrr.. haha.. thanks for compliments.. i'm flattered.. hahahhaha.. met them... and constantly being kept in darkness.. by melvin, jia xin, laa and thangi! haha.. exciting huh.... and thanks a lot a lot a lot a thousand thanks to the four of you. i already said it in the sms.. so... yeah... i love you guys!! yep.. so we wanted to wait for joseph and darren and ding feng... but he said to go on first without them... we went into swensens.. enjoyable moments... first was the meal, then the dessert, then the cake, then the cuckoo! it was really sweet babies... hahaha... the cake was really quite a shock. had no idea it was behind me.. then turns.. ohh!! ahh! my heart! melted! my eyes! watered! haha... chio cake.. loud birthday song.. wonderful friends.. huggable presents.. strokable jokes.. contagious laughter.. witty melvin.. sweet jiaxin.. loving laavanyah.. funny mathangi.. cool waiter! haha. what more can i ask for?! oh yeah.. sean called again... hahahah didnt really get what he was saying.. but yeah...

then........ the down moment came.. but it was for a while. now everything's fine!! just fine!!! we took neoprints.. before that went to look for tsz ho... another sweet sweet present!! love it... hahhaa.. thanks thanks.. how many thanks have i said today??? oh well.. then the neoprints... melvin's joke!!!!! take neoprints must go back bbss general office.. why so troublesome!!!! wow!!!!!!!!! we stone!!!! due to some reasons...... i was kinda sad sad sad sad... nah... so i went home with dear jia xin... parted at the bus stop.

home!

hmmmmmm.. what happened? didnt go out to have dinner.. but stayed home and had pizza.. and dad bought me a cake! haha..

a call from someone!!!! hahahha i know.... happy over a small thing that doesnt matter at all on the other side. but.. aiya.. hahahaha...

sadly.. some 9pm show was kinda sad.... everybody dies in the show. leaving the good and the bad person. what the???? and anthony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh!!!!!! sad shit! he's out!! so sad!!!!!! sigh... never mind.. bo go bo.. bo bo bo!!! haha.. vonzell too!

then... cutting cake time!!! tian mei came over.. 10 yrs of friendship!! wah... hahha.. so... lit the candles.. off lights.. sang birthday song.. clap clap.. took pictures... wind blew and one of the candles died. bad sign! but miraculously it lit up on its own again. good sign good sign.. daddy said. errrrrrrrr hahahha but some things kinda fun to belive in... then cut cake.. cream cream cream cream... played a fool a little.. with tian mei.. haha.. after having some nice chats.. sent her back home.. it's so nice........ having a friend.. who you dont talk to in months... then one day you meet again and everything just falls in place naturally....

reached home and i'm here! blogging.. it's 1:18 am... tired.......

hahahahahaha thanks daniel for wishing me.. belated one.. but you remembered. how sweet can things get???

and also amirul for the e mails...

thank everyone who made my day today.. err.. yesterday..

uh oh! we're in trouble! bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla double! yeah yeah!

it's friday the 13th.... beware...............

lucky us.. no school tomorrow.. i'm gonna stay home and just relax! maybe catching a movie... and saturday... maybe start reading some chinese.. then sunday.. church.. singapore poly band concert.. and monday.. the terror resumes.. sigh... results... chinese o's stress..

still needa go for band practice! our band's invited to perform for something at somwhere.. on the 1st of june.. haha.. it's alright.. band lover me would love to be back in the band! yeah i know.. it will affect my chinese studying and all... haiya... dont know...

walk one step, see one step.

good night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahhahahhahahahhaha

tomorrow's the last paper! and it's my birthday people!!! say what??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

oh thank you thank you....

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

so.... had chemistry today... kinda killed. but oh well... never mind.... then after that.. the Ms and R unite to discuss some stuff... then we went to west mall to have lunch... then we saw barry and kerby again. then i'm kinda getting excited.

help me tell her happy birthday.:)

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. i cant believe i cried just because of that. not embarrassing myself in front of my dear friends...

i thought he didnt care cause he was so super cold when thangi and laa talked to him.

but............... hahaha.. at least it's something.





they're hiding things from me! so i'm suppose to look forward to something..... surprising?!

haha.. and they're wanting me to wear a skirt!! me??? wear a skirt??? aaahhhhhhhhhhh....

crazy shit. i mean myself.

who's going tomorrow?? my god.. i dont even know.

i want a cake!!!

let it be good!












up up and away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

red rum.. (murder)

hellooo..

so last night was one fun night. mothers' day and charlynn's birthday.. had a romantic dinner with mum, charlynn and richavel.. at jack's place.. and according to melvin.. he had dinner in jill's place.. wow! haha.. i met up with mummy and charlynn first.. then made our way to jack's place.. glad she was happy.. haha. and we talked.. and laughed.. ordered our food.. took photos.. waited for richavel to arrive.. then once again. there was this haaaannndddsooooooommmeee guy and his family next to us.. then i told my mum and she started taking pictures of him. of course pretending that she was taking me.. hahahahhaa... i guess he knew... was covering his face and all that. my crazy mother! i'm so sorry boy! haha... then my sister arrived... carried on with our dinner... plus all the crappy stuffs.. we drank red wine.. erm i took 2 glasses. not much..... haha... so nice! cheers and all that.. yeah.. it was fun... mother and daughters unite..

so went home... sent charlynn back to auntie divina's house first.. reached home.. still had to study for today's exam.... haha... my face was red! i wonder why..... so i just studied for bio.. and forgot about e maths... slept..

today.. e maths paper 2 and bio paper 1.. argh e maths! sigh... failure... bio was alright... still not that well...

3 more days!!! haha...

better not get too excited.. if not will turn out like shit. it's always like this. my life.

not offending my friends!

better start studying.. a maths. chemistry!!!

i'm missing ya so............ =)

surprise me!

shallowness in me.

hahaha. i'm going crazy.. falling in love with people appearing on tv..

ah sheng in jing zhong ren.

anthony from american idol.

ian from survivor!

haha.

siao.

but anyway..... saturday.. nothing done. have to revise biology and chemistry by today... time time time!! wasting it always...

and tomorrow.. charlynn's birthday. mothers' day. gonna go church in the morning. then dinner at night. it's gonna be fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnn!!! haha.

oh ya! presents. sigh... tomorrow then buy.. wanted to buy yesterday.. but with rockable friends distracting me. haha...

erm...

haha. bye!

rockified song. haha.

Forgive Me.

Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

good times. bad times.

harlow! haha. great day today. firstly, we had physics papers. and it killed us. but it's okay... as long as the best is given. then after that we went out to paaaaaarrrrrrtttttyyyyy! haha. melvin, jiaxin, laa, mathangi and me.. went to eat.. then wanted to hear laa's beautiful voice.. so went up to the 30th floor.. kinda fun. haha.. the weather was great! soooo windy! and the view was misty.. cant see the sea. then chitted and chatted. err. same old lame stuffs. but it was fun yeah. then it started to rain maos and gous. videod some stuffs. *tsunami* explored that place.. went all the way up.. if it wasnt raining, we could have gone onto the rooftop. errrrrr is it a roof?? soooo left the place.. ran from that block to west mall in the rain!!! woooo hoooo! so shuang can. although it's a short distance. but ya know... that kinda run together with a bunch of friends feeling. haha.. zhi zuo duo qing. or zhi duo duo qing. my chinese... anyway it was the worst paper! comprehension cant understand anything. sentence-ing cant do.. close passage always get 3/10. my gooooddddd. gonna fail badly. yeah... so jia xin mel and me ran in the rain. entered west mall and it was so cold. haha. went up to popular.. looked at assessment books.. for quite a long time. after that.... went to footcourt... saw barry kerby simin they all there... it's ting ting's birthday. haha happy birthday!! so sweet eh... having huge presents and a heart-shaped cake from swensens. awwwwwwwwwww... then we ate.. talked and stuff.. looked at laa's neoprints. model like eh somebody.... jia xin!!! somebody's handsomeness... hahahahahahahhaa.. aiya.. so it went on.. walking around west mall. teasing. talking. laughing. playing. running down the stairs. waving like a ghost to people. them laughing at a girl's skirt. making lame jokes outside the mrt station.

home!

within temptation rocks!

exams gonna end in 6 days time. aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnddddddddddd what day does it end on??

haha... who cares.

just gonna enjoy myself.

but the next day is like FRIDAY THE 13TH. superstitious me is gonna stay home and be careful. ya ya...

and 16th may... chinese-ing starts. 2 weeks left to chinese o's.

just taking things as they come. nothing is gonna bother me.