The classroom was noisy. Some students were chatting with each other as they worked on their drawings. Some had earphones on, while some preferred to share the music aloud. Mobile phones seems pretty handy these days. They are as loud as
actual radios. Well, as if people still use
actual radios nowadays. Some even wonder if
actual radios still exist.
Rory put on a set of brand new earphones. Her music play list was full of the latest hits on radio. She updated her play list almost every month, deleting the "old stuff" and replacing them with the newest ones. Unfaithful, as her little brother, Nick, would say. He was the total opposite anyway. He kept a whole collection of the oldies, both English and Chinese hits, as well as some popular Malay classics, listening to them over and over again. His favourites were Michael Jackson and Jacky Cheung. Rory got sick whenever she entered his room.
Rory raised up the volume of the music and continued her drawing. Since she quit learning music to get into art college, Rory couldn't stop regretting her decision.
I like art, she remembered herself saying. That was what she told herself over and over again when she applied.
I suck in music, she said to herself.
I am not a rock star. Music is my enemy. For some reason, the music she heard through the earphones make her think otherwise.
No one would think her as a rock star anyway. She dressed plainly in a white blouse and three-quarter jeans. Her black hair was long and wavy. For convenience, she even wore slippers to college. But little did her college mates know that she was in a band once, for two years. She and three of her classmates formed a rock band during secondary school, singing their own compositions, which contained outrageous lyrics about the country's social and political situation. Rory was the vocalist, while her best friend DL, who was also the keyboardist, wrote all the lyrics for their songs. The band was a huge sensation in their school, attracting numerous fans even from other schools - until one day.
That day, they were threatened.
A minister visited their school, and after the band performed, they were dragged to a quiet room by the same teachers who helped them start the band. Then, they were told that they were not allowed to perform ever again.
Their dreams were shattered. They were confused, frustrated and angry. DL insisted that they continued performing no matter what happens, but Rory was worried that worse things might happen. The other two members, Yong and DD agreed with Rory.
"Don't be cowards," said DL. "We can do this together. Let's go further. We can even perform in front of our own Prime Minister, and see his reaction. Isn't that what we talked and laughed about during practise?"
"It is fun to talk about," said Rory. "But do you seriously think that we should do that? Don't live in dreamland, DL. Wake up. This is reality. Think rationally."
"Our country is in this situation all because of you guys!" said DL, raising her voice. "My dream is to be an influencal musician, and it will always be that way. What about you guys?"
Rory, Yong and DD kept quiet for some time. Rory saw tears in DL's eyes, and she understood how emotional she was.
"I love music," said DD, breaking the silence. "But I can't do it for a living. My father would kill me. I think I should quit now, before I get stuck and can't get out. It was fun playing the guitar with you guys, though."
Yong said the similar thing and they both left the room. Now it was only Rory and DL left. DL stared at her closest friend, waiting for an answer. Rory had her eyes set on the floor, wondering what she should do.
"Music is my only path," said DL, finally. "What about you?"
Rory gradually raised her head, still searching for the right words to say.
"We will be graduating in two weeks time," she began. "I planned to attend auditions and hoped to get signed by a record label with the band. But I had another option. As you know, I'm never good at my studies, and drawing is my hobby. So, I might go to art college..."
"So be it," said DL softly, finally letting her tears roll down her cheek. "Go chase your 'dream'!"
She left Rory alone in the room and Rory never saw her again after that.
Music is my enemy. Music is my dream. Music is my doom. Music is my paradise. Rory couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted to move on. She wanted to put her past behind her and live a new life. She wanted to do well in her studies. She wanted to do what she loved.
But was art the right path for her? Or was it merely a way out to escape from her doom - the emptiness she felt without the band? Drawing was her hobby, wasn't it? If that is so, then why does she feel so tortured everytime she faces a piece of white paper, struggling to get a nice image out using a 6B pencil? Why is it so that everytime she listens to music with her earphones, she imagines herself singing on stage with her band?
Music was my dream, and it still is now. It is what I should be doing. How could I give up my dream so easily? How could I be such a coward? What was I so afraid of? That the government would kill me? How stupid! Rory felt a new sort of energy. She suddenly felt that she shouldn't torture herself anymore. She should go back to the place where she belonged. The path that she should have chosen. She took out her mobile phone and dialled the number she once knew so well.
"Hello? Is DL there?"
"I'm sorry," said a woman in a sad tone. "Who is this? DL just passed away in a car crash a month ago."
Rory's heart stopped for a second. She hands shoke until she nearly dropped her phone.
"What has she been doing these two years?" she asked the woman, who might be her mother.
"She sang in clubs and joined a few competitions," said the woman with a sigh. "But even though many fans liked her songs, there were some people who hated her."
Rory's heart sank as she hung up. DL had chased her dream no matter what went into her way. She not only fought to do what she loved, she fought for the right to speak her mind through her songs. She was a real fighter.
The news of DL's death didn't bring fear back to Rory. In fact, she was even more determined and agrier than before. She will continue DL's fight. She will live her dream.
On that day, she left the classroom and started her brand new journey.
"This earphone has the best quality," said the woman at the mobile phone shop. "This is a special limited edition. The last one.""Really?" said Rory. "What's so special about it? It looks the same as my old spoiled one to me.""I don't know. But I heard from my customers that after using them they saw a light of hope in their lives. Not sure if it's true. You know only ten of these were manufactured. I heard that when they were manufactured, there was a bright light shining from outside into the factory. I think that day was Easter Day. I don't know. They might be just rumours. So these earphones are very special.""Whatever," said Rory. "They are just earphones anyway."