is it a gd thing to keep certain vital things from me..? esp since u noe i'ld ask nyone, nyone at all.. jux to noe.. at any cost.. cuz to me noein is important even if the info hurts like how its hurtin rite now.. i dun wanna keep fightin but its kinda inevitable when u do it on purpose.. maybe ure tryin not to hurt me but it hurts more than u'll ever noe.. its kinda like sumthin tt u cant take back cuz its already been done.. n since its cuz of him.. tt fucker from the previous previous entry.. i hate him even more.. tis sux.. shld have prevent it from goin further but i didnt.. but how cld i.. cuz it'll only leak out more of wats inside.. damn it.. i wanna tell ppl but i cant, im sorie fwens.. tink im holdin on to too much..

been wantin to write tis down for awhile but i keep forgettin.. nywyaes.. i really hate toilets wit sensors at the back cuz everytime i do it.. as in the bigger one, i will tend to lean infront considerin how long i have to sit there..okay, not tt long.. but i will still lean.. n tt will cause the thing to flush on its own.. tt part i hate.. kays, tts it..hahhk..

ytd, sumthin tt disgusts me happened.. the thing is if ure like tt n another person is not, u dun have to try doin it.. cuz tt person will only get mad.. i wanna add more details bout tis but i cant cuz u'll all noe n i won't tell.. but i am mad it happened in front of me n to sumone close..

saw the top tt is so me.. wanna get it nxt mnth, though its 79, i tink its worth it.. cuz so far evry top tts similar is either in the wrong colour, has sleeves too long or its collar too big.. so tis is the one chance of gettin it.. the perfect coheny top..

I may not fit the mold
May not do what I'm told
I will not be swayed
By the things that they might say

They may have had their doubts
No matter what I've found
I have held my ground
Look at me, I'm still around

finally saw tt girl again on my wae to sch jux now.. i love her hair colour, the shade of brown tt i wan.. i only like the colour though..hehe..

tues was kinda the worst dae of life.. things happened, infront of me, n i cldnt jux not do nuthin.. so i did sumthin.. turned out ugly, pretty ugly.. if u were there the whole time, u wld agree.. thnk god for unselfishness after tt.. reconciled.. still hate it though..kinda my fault though indirectly.. hate ppl ard who dun seem to get it after so long..damn.. actin all innocent wit tt not-so-innocent-face.. god, who ure tryin to hide from, cuz ppl noe the real u already.. two-faced, batu api, causes fight, untrustworthy, useless.. one more person on my hate list.. when one name fades a new one appear.. shit u.. watever.. cuz u were nvr part of my life before.. To the girl who wan ppl to noe her so badly, fuck u.. faker.. tell evryone tt ure loud eventhough ure not.. u n u can rot in hell together.. cuz of u both together tt it caused everythin to spark the entire fire.. act ur freakin age..

nyhoos.. sum ppl jux dunno how to approach me when they dun actually like my chereography.. im sure tt it'll get praises for bein diff n impactful.. a first in cheerleadin.. u'll see.. thnx to those who still stuck thru it..

i tink im gettin better at bein my old lovely self.. the one wit a whole load of confidence.. the great looks tt has been lost.. the style tt i once had.. gatherin evrythin back together.. takin time.. heal thru time..

tink its cumin, tink its soon.. 4yrs overdue.. jux do it, dun tink of wats to come.. dun expect nythin so as to not

get hurt by nuthin.. be true..
its wat i am.. takin too much of me to hide it.. be happy.. appreciate my life, wat i have..

find urself, cuz i cant find u
be urself, who are u..?

its clearer now..wish tis happened sooner but guess im happy it finally did.. i didnt realise tt by bein close to jux one individual, i wld build a huge barrier between the others.. at first it seemed tt ive been ostracize but now its only true tt i was inflictin it upon myself..

its true tt i dun get compliments nymore.. cuz im a powerhouse nomore.. maybe i jux nd to improve certain things in myself.. but then again.. i tink im deprovin.. my lines, techniques n energy.. wats worse is gettin tis so-called compliment jux so as to make me feel better.. but i noe u too well to see tt its otherwise.. dun sae things tt u dun mean cuz its hurts more..

being so used to being the best its harder to pick myself up to reach tt level of standard since ive went wae down.. nd tt boost of confidence.. nd to tink im better than ppl so i'll really be better..

found truth to the world of lies, how much it hurts by jux saein sumthin tts not true.. dun lie cuz u'll lie more..

alot have been happenin behind my back, wats worse is tt they dunno tt its so freakin obvious i noe! daMn.. cant ppl jux live their own life.. to tink tt u guys dun even noe me to even judge me on my sexuality.. u wanna noe, u ask.. dun assume, i've learnt tt.. cant believe some ppl close to me actually dicuss tis among themselves.. n hopin tt it wont get to me.. im not oblivious to alot of things goin on cuz i catch fast.. u nd to realise tt.. cant believe u actually told sumone to not tell nyone but tt sumone told another person who told another person n it got back to me.. u shld tink back on how trustworthy YOUR fwens are.. god! u dun learn from the previous incident when u go ard braggin bout stuff u did.. tt came ard pretty fast n it gets faster everytime..

to fwens who really stick thru wit me, i really appreciate u guys being ard.. i find warmth in ur embrace.. thnx loads for being ur true self..