ZiggyZag

It was a considerably a good dinner until A asked, “Did she mention my name last night?” We were stunned when that question came. We were all unprepared. Or more specifically I was not prepared. I said no, but the NO that came out from my mouth was the unsure-and-still-thinking kind of no. I didn’t know how to react. In a joking manner I said, “We wanted to but we didn’t have the time.”

A went on saying how weird he felt towards C. And I was guilty because the look A gave me was the look of probing, the look that was trying to tell me he knew what’s going on, don’t keep it from me anymore. I was proven guilty! As he went on and on about the same topic, I finally said it, “Yes, C was pissed off with you!”

As expected, I became the dartboard. I became the person who should have done something, who should have reacted something before Jimmy was seen like a fool sucking up to Shin? All Shin did was just ignoring him or gave him cold remarks or replies? Now it’s my fault? Coz I’m seen to be in the perfect situation to ease the tension, to be the peacemaker.

Expectation kills. And......

In any friendship, the most difficult thing is to be the mediator, the messenger or even the person to know something and might be expected to do something. I definitely don’t fit into any of the above categories. Maybe I’m just tired. I think I am...

I was in Kota Tinggi when I received this sms from Riece that says:

"Fuck you.....you digg..."

I was shocked! Too shocked to even think straight. The first thought was to check with her again if that sms was meant for me. For your information, I have not met her since graduation, how the hell could I offend her or do stupid things to her? I was calm enough and therefore, my reply went like:

"you ok? why sent me that sms?"

Few minutes later, I sent her another sms as I was thinking if she was about to do silly things to herself or was too frustrated with something else that is happening to her, but sent to the wrong person...So I sms her again by saying:

"It's (my name). dunno why that msg was sent but must get hold of your emotions and calm down. Dun break down. hugs"

Half an hour later, her reply came: "You're stupid bug itchy butt"

This time around, I blew up! I was having headache due to the recce at the camp site and now I am reading such sms from a good friend of mine whom I haven't met for so long. My reply was:

"Excuse me? What the hell did I do to you?" (close enough to have my bad words ready but I changed my mind as I was still wondering why she did this)

Once I reached home, I started calling her, twice but she didn't pick up. Of course, I sms again by saying:

"Too ashamed to pick up my call? Then don't send stupid sms. Not worth it!"

After that reply, I started sending sms to ask the rest if Riece was alright. It was then LM and Sue replied. Both suggesting that I sent to the wrong person and I was darn sure it was none other than Riece. I even explained to them that I have clarified to her who I was and hopefully she realised she might have sent to the wrong person.

After my shower, I saw a reply from Sue that says:

"Eik! She just sms me....sounds ok...weird...it's her number right? 6621 at the back...i'm sure it's a mistake"

I checked my contact list to search for Riece's number and then I saw 6624....Damn...It was somebody else's number which I saved it under Riece's name...What a BIG mistake! Called Riece to tell her the whole story. We laughed it off and yes...I feel so stupid!!

Some people can really drive us nuts! No point of consideration but preaching about the importance about being sensitive to people around us. Slapping themselves for saying it is inconsiderate to do things without thinking for others but without checking on their own actions. Closing the eyes and shutting the ears, to not even accepting or listening to those nonsensical remarks might do better for one's state of sanity!

Pushy, self-centered, victimized, negative, I'm-always-right kind of attitude, reactive, I-want-your-attention mindset, suspicious, demanding for explanations, unreasonably logic, contradicting, and the list goes on.

Have you met anyone who meets the descriptions as above?

K asked TY to take off her shawl, then reprimanded her for what she wore was inappropriate. K said it's the last time and if there was a next time, she will send TY home to change. Attention was then directed to QY and said she should tie up her hair.

What has the world become to? I'm actually still guessing and wondering what's in K's mind when she did all this saga. When I asked QY, she said Peyi was in the room with them but gave her the I-don't-want-to-be-here kind of look. First thing came into my mind was, Peyi was definitely playing the angelic role and thus lead to the devil's side of K to be more apparent to the world. How cunning!

Peyi is doing the same old thing again as how she played everyone around when she just got seat. I think most of us fell into her trap and she made use of whatever resources she got to kick the old passengers off the 'bus'. Am I thinking too much or this is just the plain truth?

Have I been good? I mean a good teacher?

I'm sitting with 2 students, 2 who were in my failing list and now they are back to get work done, attending all the extra classes and did the one and only assignment. I have this boy, a very interesting boy whom I initially thought was the root of all troubles and the cause of all my unhappiness with his class is now starting to diminish from my thoughts. Have I been good? Have I been fair? Have I been too judgmental that it blocked all my visions and preach about not being a person who assume all the time? My heart aches as I see him toying with his pen and the paper as he has no idea what to write. Is he dyslexic? Is that why he refused to participate?