ZiggyZag

It all started on the eve. James was admitted to the hospital for he was suspected either dengue fever or food poisoning. I visited him yesterday but the report was not out. He was quite ok except for his poor appetite. He didn't eat much but he was with drips. I could just pray for him.

On the same night when I received the news that James was admitted to the hospital, I heard from Jennie that our friend, Teck Lee was also admitted to the hospital. His condition was very severe as his car was badly damaged and I heard his face is also severely disfigured. I am not sure how is he and what actually happened or caused this accident, but all I know was his car is all smashed up. The thing that worried me most are his wife and his young children.

I was in the church with my mom and Jiali on the even when I heard the youth pastor mentioned about many people died recently and he also reminded us about what would be coming or signalling to us. These words were really in my mind as I kept thinking about what he said. True enough, that night I received the news about James and Teck Lee.

The next day, I heard about 2 death cases which had the same similarity ; fall. One was my sis's friend's father and the other was Ah Biao's neighbour. Both deceased fell at the bathroom, but the latter one was only discovered two days later. My heart is really sinking with the news. My sis then added, many old folks would take falling as an excuse to depart from this world. And I remember these words too.

The sick, the accident, the death and the flood are somewhat making signs and signals to all of us. All unpredicted, unavoidable, unpreparedness, misery, helplessness from the victims, shattered dreams and hopes, and all are waiting for just one; another ray of light to brighten the days ahead for all. And who could give us this ray of light except Him?

Was back at home in Kulai for almost 10 days and I hardly get to online. If I were to calculate the hours I was online, I guess probably less than 5 hours within these 10 days. I had a good break, mainly slacked at home, watched DVDs and did nothing except being a lazy couch potato. That was the main picture I can draw for all :) Other than that, I was rather busy as my cousin was staying at my place for 2 weeks. She just went home yesterday, Christmas day with her parents.

More detailed updates coming up soon :) Oh ya, I'm back in Spore for only 3 days, just to spend some time with ah bee before he starts work hee. Am going shopping with him tomorrow and then gathering at Natasha's place for dinner weeeee......hehe...

It's really difficult to handle stress that is coming to your way, heavier when the stress does not relate to you at all. The question is, if it doesn't relate you, why would one feel the stress or even affected by the stress?

The heavy sack on my shoulders and heart is really bringing me down. I learnt a lot about internal and external control, but how could I apply the knowledge that I gained about the importance of internal control? I'm not sure how.

Someone told me not to take the comments too personally. He said whatever that was said was merely out of anger and frustrations as the mind of that speaker was really stuffed with only thought; the frustration. The helplessness in me is really taking me down the flight of stairs. My heart wasn't walking down the stairs but literally being flown. I have known this person for about a year or so. Many things have happened and I was always, almost everytime was there with this person. The worst thing that had ever happened on this person, I was also there to give this person my moral support, lend a pair of listening ears and of course be there as the comfort pillow. This person screamed, yelled, swore, and almost everything this person is capable of, this person had done it. I was always there. Although I wasn't the receiving end, but I must say it was never easy to be by this person all the time. I feel so tired.

I've been very useless these 2 days. I have cried so much within these 2 days. I just couldn't control myself. I cried myself to sleep last night, couldn't stop thinking of those days when my dad was around in the house. I missed him so much, that those scenes and moments kept flashing back in my mind. My tears were like a flowing river, thinking how good the feeling was when he was around. His face, his hair and the scent from his body. He was always our saviour. I used to think, who would help me in cooking when he's gone? No one! Why did I have to go through so much and couldn't even cross the busy road to just pay house bills at the post office? Why did I have to even worked around the clock when I was studying, envying others with their parents at the shopping mall? I'm just feeling tired. I really am.

It's almost never ending. If I could rewrite the Neverending Story again, I think I would have come out with a smilar version but with defame and verbal assaults as the main gist of the story! Sounds crude? More to come.

It was over a very simple email that was sent out. An email inviting all to have fun, yes just to have fun. The email was very soon taken over with reprimands, warnings and constant unnecessary reminders. Was anyone threaten with the fact that a group is getting together for some fun time? Was anyone spiteful just because he or she is not in the popular clique. You may not see where this is coming from, but I must admit it's only a child's playwork with their peers; trying hard to win people's favour or being the popular ones. Or could it be caused with the fact that no popular clique should stay together forever? The root of all these could just be a pitiful state of almost zero self esteem in these people. I rephrase, perhaps ZERO, no self esteem at all and therefore they try hard to prove they are of better ones and everyone should bow to them. How sad!

It doesn't just end here. People then start to complain and whine about this little matter. From a thought to have fun with everyone, it finally turned out to be something a clique will do; sit and talked nonsensical stuff. The small problem then seemed to have been magnified due to all words and thoughts thrown onto the gossip lounge; in the end with no constructive feedbacks given. The more one complains, the bigger the matter or problem will appear to be. Why complain so much when all one needs to do is to make some small adjustments?

You might be reading this with eyebrows arched and frowned nose bridge; trying to see the point or the reason this is written. Simple! I just want all my readers, yes you who are reading right now. Don't complain when something crops up or something happened out of your expectation. Get back to your initial plan of work and fine tune to solve the problem. There is nothing that can be done by complaining or telling other people how miserable you feel, because you only make yourself more pitiful and seeking more people to feel sorry for you. In the end, you still end up to do something to solve the problem. Therefore, waste no precious time. If you meet a stumbling block, cross over or follow another route. No point standing there and complaining to passers-by how irritating the block is in your way. Get it?

chittt...chittt...chitt....all cleared. No one's around. I'm finally free. The whole bunk was too noisy and I just coulnd't get some sleep. The bunch of idiots out there spoke like nobody's business, yelling and shouting to the peak of their little and probably idiotic excitement; definitely not something that I would love to join in. I heard papers flipped, pens scribbling on papers and of course the seemingly ongoing noise from the typing pad. Sometimes I just can't helped but to wonder what these big creatures doing in this big, cold bunk.

I saw them. They were typing their feelings, thoughts, suggestions and extremely high excitement on the typing pad. It took these creatures few minutes I think to end everything, packed their little bags and off they went with satisfied smiles on their face. I wonder what had just happened! *fell asleep*