Abandoning ship...

I've had issues with blogspot for a long time and I decided to give wordpress a go. I figured a new house was as good an excuse as any to jump ship and try a different format (which I am still trying to figure out).

Come find me over at: http://mylittlehouseonthehilltop.wordpress.com/

My big news

I am almost the proud and relieved owner of a new home. It is under contract and everything is moving forward as planned. 

It is kind of funny how it all came about. I had seen this house online a long time ago, before I'd even really decided to sell the Nichols Homestead. It is on 2 acres, in Ypsilanti Township, quite close to my parents and about half of my friends. And it is adorable, as you can see. Anyway, I stalked it online for awhile and watched the price dropping and dropping. Still didn't sell. Dropping some more. By the time I had my house on the market and wanted to see it, there was an offer pending. 

A month or so later, I noticed the listing was active again. I called my realtor immediately and asked to see it. He played phone tag with the listing agent for days but finally got us a time to see it. As we walked in the door and I seriously fell in love with the place, he told me the bad news: there were already several offers pending and the realtor indicated they wouldn't even entertain another one. What?? Heartbreak. The place is awesome. Oh not without considerable maintenance needed and a zillion projects calling my name, but maybe that's part of the charm. Clearly this place needs a Reenie. And a couple energetic dogs running around on the 2 acres of gorgeousness.

Well, I believe God has a plan. And clearly this isn't the house if I can't even put an offer on it!! So I continued to look at other houses, finding very few houses that I even wanted to look at. I looked at a lot of houses. They were too far away, too ugly, the yard was too small... ugh. It was starting to feel pretty bleak. And really I just wanted one like this house. Huge yard, quaint house with lots of personality, great price... 

And then, one Monday night I notice that I have a text from my friend Maryn saying she gave her mother-in-law my phone number. That's right. My small town life scores big time. My friend's husband's parents (technically related since it's my brother's wife's sister's husband's parents) live across the street on this tiny dirt private road. They knew I had looked at it and wanted it, but that other offers were pending. That same evening I got a message from my friend's mother in law that she'd talked to the owner and the deal was falling through, something about the buyer's financing. Call immediately!

So I emailed my realtor right then (at 11 pm) and he called the seller's agent first thing in the morning saying he heard it was going to be re-listed and we wanted to make an offer. The agent was amazed and couldn't figure out how he knew! She kept pumping him for how he knew and he admitted I knew one of the neighbors. She paused and then told him to have me write the offer. She gave us the amount the short sale is approved for and said to offer that with a good down payment and conventional financing (already my plan). The offer was accepted immediately. Woo hoo!! We didn't even have to go back to the bank for an extension because they had just approved the short sale amount. 

At my inspection, I could see there were some changes that they did to get ready for the previous inspection (an FHA loan, which has a lot more requirements) and I suspect they were unable to get through that inspection without considerable upgrades being required to get that loan. Although it does look suspiciously like God was just saving the house for me.  

My inspection went well. No major surprises. It is somehow comforting to see that I'd already noted most of the items the inspector did in terms of maintenance and repairs needed.  Many of the major items have been done within the last 6 years: roof, electrical updates, new well, furnace, etc. so a lot of what it needs is the smaller stuff: outside trim painted, replaced, siding repairs (eventual replacement), the list goes on and on. Closing date is set for August 12th, if all goes well. First project will be some sort of fencing to contain the dogs. 

I'm grateful, relieved, and excited.

The house stats: 

3 bedrooms (all pretty small, 2 upstairs, 1 on main floor)

Michigan basement (also small, very Michigan basementy)

1 full bathroom

laundry / mud room off the kitchen (love!) 

big kitchen (love love!)

dining room

living room

garage

pole barn

2 acres of gorgeous yard (unfenced-- for now)

Also, I'm taking suggestions for a name for the new house. It obviously can't be the Nichols Homestead, although I suppose it could be the Hilltop Homestead. Hilltop Haven? Hilltop Hideout? Maybe we scrap the alliteration and you give me some better suggestions... 

Where does time go?

Apparently it has been awhile since I posted. It has been a grueling month on this end and I have been even less eloquent than usual, so you can thank me for that lovely month of silence.  If you would like a recap without the gory details, I suppose I can supply that.

June started with a bang: bridal shower, wedding, hospital visit with a friend, all on the same day! From there we went to a one year old's birthday party (with extra toddlers), a graduation party, seeing friends, dinners, visits, etc. Basically one week of over stimulation. I threw a big "Good bye to the Homestead" party and lots of my friends and munchkins gathered for a semi-rainy good time.

And then I had to buckle down and do some serious packing. Packing, packing, packing. Gathering moving boxes. And doing more packing.

And in the midst of all the packing, there was a lot of whining from the Big Dog who could sense that changes were afoot. And she was right. BIG fat changes. In the middle of June, on the hottest day I could find, I picked up a moving truck, and some wonderful friends / brothers / sisters spent the day helping me move (mostly) out of the Homestead. We took a load to my parents house (where Suzie killed the last remaining kitten in front of all the helpers). And then a load to storage. I figured I'd finish the shed, garage, and remaining house dregs on my own since it was so horribly hot. As of that Sunday, when all the furniture moved, I started sleeping at my parent's and took the dogs with me.

The next three evenings I worked on those things. It is always worse than you think. Even after the impressive packing / purging / etc for listing it was worse than I thought. I cannot express my gratitude for my family and friends who helped, encouraged, cleaned, and just were there for me during that rough week. And my boss who gave me the day off to finish it off.  That last day in the Homestead, I took the dogs back over for the day. They were SO happy to be home!! They napped, basked in the sunlight, laid on the gleaming, freshly finished floor, oh how we love home.  And then it was done. No more home to come home to.

Honestly, moving is rough enough when you're moving to a new house. Moving is even harder when you are moving to limbo (or your parents basement) for an unknown period of time! Not to mention saying good bye to a house / yard you have loved and projected your heart into for the past decade. Yeah, it was rough.  And by the end of it, it was just a huge relief to be out. To sign all the papers and call it a day. Good bye Nichols Homestead.

So here I am, living in the partially finished "grandma" apartment off my parent's living room. My parents have been working very hard to get this space ready lest my grandparents need a place to stay in the near future. I mean, it isn't done. So moving a bunch of my stuff in here and trying to find my way around and make it home for the time being has been a challenge. I am so incredibly grateful for their generosity in letting me and the bitches stay here. Still trying to find some routine, some rhythm in life again, but incredibly grateful -- and generally tired.

And the dogs are exactly as you might suspect: Suzie is happy as long as I'm home (and so very tired from all the running around). And Maggie spends a ton of time whining to go home.  We can't actually say the word "Home" because Maggie goes howling up the stairs and sits at the door crying. Change is hard. I'm doing the same thing on the inside, but at least I've managed to keep it mostly on the inside.

The rooster is still alive, amazingly. Somehow he has freaked the dogs out and they refuse to go after him. He crows right in the doorwall that is our front door at 5 am, but when I open the door to let them out, they won't go until he moves a safe distance away. So strange. Lenny has won the mental battle here and lives to crow another way to early morning.


Last weekend, one of my dear friends, my "let's sell our houses" buddy moved her family (also to her parent's basement while they look for a new home). And I have to say, it is a lot easier to be the friend on moving day who encourages, packs last minute boxes, bags dolls and bedding, and carries stuff to the truck. It wasn't my dregs, it was their dregs. So much easier somehow.  After a long, long moving day, it was done. I could drive away and shower and not deal with the post moving ramifications (although I'm still doing that on my end). It was sad moving her out of her lovely home too. I have many happy memories in that house with those wonderful people. And yet, there's a season for everything and this is apparently the season of moving and homelessness (hopefully followed by more moving).


Other than moving and not really settling in, Summer Softball has begun. One of my favorite seasons. So any given Sunday you can find me at the fields, with my people, having some good old fashioned fun. And it is great to be doing something that feels like my "normal" life, no matter how transitional everything else is.  Besides, we have the cutest fans on the planet.

I promise I will have more interesting and less tired things to say soon. In the meantime, God is faithful. He is teaching me, and loving me, and growing me in this process and I'm excited to see where we go from here.

Last man standing

Lenny (formerly known as Helen) is the last remaining member from the failed 2012 Operation Chicken at the Nichols Homestead.

As Monica so aptly said (on the day of the first chicken killing in the backyard), "There's just one chicken clucking about the yard."

There he is in all of his roostery glory, spying on the humans.

He even managed to escape the winter of slow death at the Bon Terre farm that took out Angus (the other rooster) and most of my mom's hens over the winter. I blame Rocky the watch dog who has to sleep in the house because he likes to bark all night-- leaving the chickens unprotected from raccoons, coyotes, and other predators.

Somehow Lenny stands strong. And he does have one hen to keep him company.

Hopefully he survives the next big event when the chicken killing bitches move to said Bon Terre farm in 3 weeks.

Good luck Lenny, you're going to need it.

Setting people up… part 4

Seventh rule: Facebook really isn’t ideal for setting people up.

I had a friend who tried to set me up with a previous coworker of hers. She gave him my facebook name and we “friended” each other and corresponded via message for awhile. He seemed nice enough, but a facebook message chain really isn’t the way to go. In fact, it was pretty lame after a few weeks. And if we were going to message back and forth for as long as we did, it would have made sense to just go have coffee since we do live in the same area. Which leads me into my next rule…

Eighth rule:  If you are in the same area, move the communications from online or by phone to in person sooner rather than later.

Hey, lots of set ups start with a phone call or email or something. But there is no reason to not go have coffee with a person if you are even remotely interested in them or in finding out if you could be interested in them. No one assumes after one coffee date that you’re going to propose, or “go steady”, or… it’s coffee! It’s a chance to have a face to face conversation. I think the coffee date is seriously under-utilized, especially in Christian / Catholic circles. Sometimes it seems like the expectation is the discern if you would marry the person or not before taking them on a date, which is ridiculous. Heck, I have no intention of discerning marriage on a first date! Get to know the person a bit before making that decision.

If you are not in the same area, it can be harder to meet right away, but I still recommend doing it as soon as you can arrange it. I have several friends who married men from the internet, and I think it is really helpful to meet in person sooner rather than later. Even if it ends up not working out, better to do that sooner than to be investing months in a relationship or person that ends once you meet in person.

Setting people up… part 3

Fifth rule: Don't say stupid stuff in an attempt to make connections. (Translation: Be subtle, thoughtful, and tactful).

One time Kay invited me to a gathering at her house. The excuse she used to get me there made no sense at all so I should have seen the real reason, but I was blissfully ignorant until I arrived at her house for brunch with 10 people I didn't really know (refer back to rule 3 - and consider that I am an introvert who is uncomfortable in large groups of strangers). The only people at this gathering I actually knew were, Kay, Mac, and their one year old-- who had to take a nap. Basically I shrink into invisible mode and spend the next hour or two in agony. Toward the end of this particular gathering, several of the couples had left, leaving one other couple and the lucky single guy. It gets slightly more comfortable for me at this point because of sheer numbers but I'm looking for an excuse to leave. Kay, bless her heart, turns to Mike and says "Do you like dogs?" He responds something about his parents having dogs, so she excited jumped in "Reenie has dogs!"  Oh gosh. Now I wanted the floor to swallow me up.  Instead I waited a second or two (trying to preserve some shred of dignity), stood up, loaded the dishwasher and made my escape as soon as possible. There is simply no recovering after a statement like that. 

Kay was trying to make a connection but instead of helping make that connection, it was just so obvious and made it feel so artificial and downright uncomfortable. Setter uppers need to watch out for this as it is really easy to fall into. Sure, bring up something the people being set up having in common, but go for subtlety and don't get overly excited. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I am going to admit right here that I have broken this rule. And I don’t even feel bad about it. It was months into game nights with JP and Lee and JP still hadn’t asked for her phone number. We were going out after softball. Lee had ridden in my car but I wasn’t going straight to the restaurant. JP offers tentatively (which was a HUGE step for him), “I could take you.” I jump into my car and peel out of the parking lot (not terribly subtle). My sister in law and partner in setting these two up says loudly to her husband, “Get in the car, get in the car!” He shoots Lee an “I hope you’re okay!” glace and follows her direction. Neither of us was tactful for subtle there—but I will say that it was the night that JP and Lee finally talked and started going out!

But back to why subtle, thoughtful, and tactful are such a good idea: recently someone I barely know tried to set me up with a son of her best friend. So there I was, at work, eating a sandwich and trying to write a project timeline in my humble little office. My cell phone rings. I don't recognize the number so I figure I'll listen to the voicemail and see if it merits attention. A few minutes later I listen, and oh what a voicemail:
"Hi Reenie, it's Mary (we teaches the special ed girl in my religious ed class but I wouldn’t say we are particularly close otherwise). Put this number in your phone xxxxx. There's this guy named Ryan I want you to meet. He's the son of my best friend. Call me back." As she goes to hang up, you can hear peals of giggles - so you know she's out to lunch with said friend and they think they are being SO clever. Subtle? I think not.
I call Mary back an hour later, not sure how to avoid the inevitable (you know I can't say no, even to a ridiculous set up). As Mary answers, I can hear lots of laughter. The ladies are still together. Mary is clearly SO excited to be part of this fabulous plan. She says her best friend is Cam, who has been through her life for many, many years, through thick and thin. Cam has a son Brian, who is 34, Catholic, single and despairing of ever finding a great Catholic girl who practices her faith. On my end of the phone, I can hear Cam feeding Mary information about him "Tell her he's an engineer with a good job.” “He's an engineer with a good job, hey, your dad is an engineer." Mm hm. Mary to Cam: "Her dad is an engineer!" Cam: "He designs radars!" Mary: "He designs radars and is just a dear, dear guy."  

Somehow, over the course of this 5 minute conversation, the plan develops (without any actual input from me). Sunday. We’ll meet at Mass and then all go to lunch afterward. Cam yells in the background "Tell her I'm buying lunch!"  Mary: "Camille is buying everyone lunch! Won't this be great!?" More giggling into the phone. "Oh I can't wait for you to meet him. Okay, we'll see you then!!!"

Sunday rolls around and there we were, at this cafe, after Mass. Mary introduces me to her friends, Cam, Cam's husband, and Ryan. It is awkward (he makes no eye contact and appears to be praying the ground will open up and swallow him—I could relate!), we proceed into the cafe. As Ryan walks just ahead of Mary, she turns and whispers loudly to me "He's really shy!" to explain his awkward behavior. Um, he can hear you. And Ahhhhhhhhhh. What the heck am I doing here? Subtle? Tactful? No. Not at all.
So we arrive at a table set for six. Mary grabs my arm "You sit in the middle, right here in the middle." This makes no sense to me because it seems to me that the foursome (who are friends) should sit together. I end up moving down one to facilitate that. Cam grabs her son's arm, "You sit here, across from Reenie," she said excitedly. Really? We couldn't have figured that out without that awkward intervention? Really? 

This leads me to my next rule -- it's best not to involve mom. Even if mom is involved in the set up, I can tell you from recent experience, there is nothing more awkward than brunch with mom for a first meeting. Don't do it. If your mom isn't involved... don't tell her either. Really all of this is better without your mom. 
Since I know you're dying to hear how that one turned out (and you're totally bored with the rules anyway)... brunch was awkward. But sometimes I even impress myself, and I have to say I am amazingly good at rising to the occasion in the face of awkwardness, particularly if someone is more uncomfortable than me. Though I was uncomfortable, this guy made it really easy to switch into rescue mode. I smiled and pretended this was the most natural and comfortable thing. I asked him questions. We talked about his job. A lot. And a couple times during brunch, while we were just sitting there managing a normal, adult conversation, (and I was pretending this was comfortable), I caught Mary and Cam exchanging excited grins and winks as if to say, "Hey LOOOK!! They're TALKING!" One time Cam even gave Mary a "thumbs up." I wanted to die. Right. Like I said, don't involve Mom. Too awkward. 

And then I asked about his family. And he talked about them, a lot. I have to say, I'm good at asking good questions and giving people room to talk. But I do think, at some point, even in the face of awkward set ups, it is helpful if the other person reciprocates. He obviously didn't understand that me asking half a dozen interested questions about his job was the perfect lead in to him asking "So what do you do?"  Alas, that never happened. He has no idea what I do.  Same for questions about his family. He mentioned a sister, I asked the obvious question "Do you just have the one sister?" So I learned a lot about his family (not to mention being at lunch with his parents).  When he finished talking about them, it fell silent. Perfect opportunity to say "Tell me about your family." Nope. 

There's a handy tip gents: When you're on a date or a set up or whatever you call these situations - ask questions. It makes it a lot smoother when one person isn't the only one asking questions. 

Lucky for Ryan, Mary tried to help out. "Reenie has a big family, how many siblings do you have Reenie?" A few minutes later, Mary's husband thought he'd help Ryan out too, "Reenie, did you tell him about the slide at your parent's house?" Nope, somehow that never came up as we discussed Ryan's job at length. So Mary's husband talks a bit about how he knows my dad and the slide and then conversation moves on to other things. It was really awesome to realize they brought up those little factoids to spark conversation because those are literally the only things they know about me. (See rule 3) They don't actually know me well enough to even pull the awkward line about dogs! (A mixed blessing really). 

The moral of this particular story leads me to my sixth rule: If it sounds awful, you don't have to agree to it. I am particularly bad at this one. But seriously, I should have stuck with my gut and told Mary that I would be open to meeting this guy but would prefer coffee with the two of us rather than brunch with people watching. Especially his mom and her excitable BFF. Seriously, Reenie, learn to say no already.
Or another time, that time my acquaintance set me up with her cousin? Right. For our first meeting, he thought the natural history museum would be fun. I wanted to die just thinking about a date at the natural history museum. But I felt bad nixing the idea and went along with it… and let me tell you, it was awful. One of the worst first dates ever… because let’s be honest, it isn't like you’ve got a ton to discuss there at a lame natural history museum they haven’t updated since I last visited at age 12. “So hey, dinosaur bones.” “yup.” I shudder to think I agreed to this regardless of the fact that this awkward first meeting was at this awkward museum with a person who I already knew was awkward (at least on the phone) Righto. Take it from me, if it sounds awful, you don’t have to agree with it.

To the single people out there - I’m not saying you shouldn’t be open to being set up. In fact, since I haven’t met anyone on my own, I feel I should give set ups a fair chance. I’m trying to be open to new and interesting ways to meet people. BUT it is okay and probably wise to put some limitations on that. No to brunch with mom. No to a first date at the natural museum. No to chasing a man down in the car. Have some standards.