a reflection

The year so far... I'm afraid to look back at it sometimes. But I think, to look forward, I have to remember to look back to find the strength that will lead me on.

It was a year of realization, a year of appreciation. 

A year of personal growth. And some hard hits. 

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Memories of living in Dalpura for that short, short pocket of time still linger. Living with mentor for most of the summer, the summer job, getting to know more people and the Australian work life, the roadtrips to Wilson's Prom and Venus Bay... I'll say that was the highest point.

And then I came home. What left was a somewhat empty shell with predefined feelings of impending joy, what stayed was my heart. All that ache and emptiness stayed with me through the first month of being home. Right through the Chinese New Year. Right through the start of my first semester of my final year. 

Started my final-year project 6 weeks into the semester, a *very* late start. Coupled with great team mates, a great client, and a supervisor we all grew to loathe a little (I'm sorry I didn't give myself the chance to think otherwise, but he didn't exactly make my life simple either) we were off to a pretty harrowing start. But this part of the project was the easier half.

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On the more personal side, I tried waaayy hard to hang on to everything we had. Every chance that presented itself, I took it. Sad to say, I was pretty foolish and reckless to the point that if I had continued I would have successfully alienated myself from the rest of my social circles. But at some point of time, my realistic self had to reproach my obsessive self and bring me back into reality. They fought. But eventually, they reached a compromise. 

"You cannot continue living in the past, using those memories as fuel to carry you forward. It isn't enough. Create new ones. Look beyond! Life is more than that."

"I will look forward as much as I look back. That I promise."

"Deal."

___________

Things at home weren't as smooth sailing either. My parents both had stress from work and from home, my brothers were carrying on like how they usually do, and as much as I would have liked to stay out of all the looming trouble, I couldn't. Family is still family. More arguments and fights and bickering and scratching continued. But even with all this, we had to put our guns and swords and weapons down and just appreciate each other's company once in awhile. We had our share of the good times. We had some good laughs and sincere smiles despite everything. We're screwed up but we still hold on somehow, thank goodness for that.

___________

When first semester finals came round, it was the first lowest point of the year. I panicked like I did last year, but the feeling lasted much, much longer. In some words, I royally screwed it up. I had every thought that I was going to fail. I dreamt about it, lacked sleep over it, tried to talk about it, tried to talk myself *out* of it, but to not much avail. And after results were out, I was afraid of all the disappointment I caused and how it would lash back at me. 

But I lived. 

More importantly, I made a resolution to concentrate on what was here and now, on what could be called my personal state of emergency. It was the first wake up call and I woke up metaphorically to a bucket of ice cold water thrown at me. No more being weepy and clingy - look at how much that had cost me. It's all up to me to stand up and be the rock that I can be against the storms the world can throw at me. 

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The second semester started, and I had a new conscience, a new outlook. My mission was to get myself back on track, I set out to live and laugh and learn to ease my leash on the past. In a different way. It doesn't always mean going out to parties. 

The Project Lab became my second home. I made new friends, I played more than my fair share of games, laughed at all the silliness and the randomness that only *they* can come up with, and shared so many meals and so many, many conversations with them. It didn't have to be deep. It didn't have to be 'meaningful' in the basest sense. It just had to happen and flow like it usually does, and that's good enough.

This time round, when assignments came down upon us, we rode the wave just fine. Hurdles were leapt through fine, and the exams came not too long after. And I'm glad to say that wake up call worked out. 

___________

Project wise, it was the time when true colours showed. I had differentiated them in a sense that I could have different levels of trust for each member. It was time to change those levels of trust. Some went up, some went down. I knew who I could depend on for different things. I suppose it's part and parcel of being the leader, to fine-tune perception levels and see how best to utilize your resources. 

All the sleepless nights crash-coursing on mobile C# turned out to be fun, in a way. Especially the last few afternoons and the weekends in the Project Lab (yes we're really rushing a deadline) it was strangely fun in a way. We'd band together and do our piece, running crazy and going hungry and bored halfway through. Paperwork was paperwork, codingwork was codingwork. It was crazy. The final presentation went alright and we made it through somehow. Thank goodness!

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Emotionally though, it was a harrowing experience. I felt a sense of abandonment. At first I didn't know why, I couldn't figure out what exactly I did to make things turn sour. Was it something I said, was it something I did? What was it? Why? I was confused and afraid, and at times angry and frustrated. 

And then I realized it was simply a truth I wasn't ready or willing to face. I still held on to my fairy tale of a happy ending only to see it crumble before my eyes. I just felt my heart sink knowing that I'd have to accept this. Anything that didn't cut the cord completely was just dragging it out longer. A pain I didn't have to suffer, I admit, but I didn't want to be the one to wield the blade that did. I didn't want this at all.

After awhile I changed my mind. Instead of being afraid and confused, I got angry and frustrated. I told myself many, many things. Predominantly these two, though:

"I can be just as patient if not more. Challenge me if you will, I can play any game and not come out worse for wear."

and this:

"Every man will only have one chance with me. Screw it up and you can live with your loss."

It was still difficult, though. Even after everything that's said and done, even if feelings come and go, memory is the one thing that stays constant. 

And like Sheryl Crow once sang - the first cut is the deepest.

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I've stayed close by my parents - I felt that they needed me. So I did. I'm glad I did. I'd do anything to let them forget their sorrows for awhile, it's one of the little things that I can do. 

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Friends are there. Always. I've learnt that, and I've truly come to appreciate it. And so I will do the same in turn, for I am a friend. A better one to some, and the best to a handful. ^__^ 

Also took the chance to do some things I've always been curious about, i.e. rock climbing and online shopping (laugh if you will).

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Live a simple life? I'll try my best.

"I am a member of Christ's body." (Corinthians 12:27)

If I had a choice.. I would be the eyes.

I know that's not what the phrase exactly means, but it's how I interpret it and give it meaning that counts.

nice =)

7AM. The earliest ever I've had to wake up to enjoy a McDonald's breakfast. Seriously bleary-eyed when I came down the stairs to the dining area.. to see kor already halfway through his first Sausage McMuffin w/ Egg. 

Sent ti off to NS today. He'll do fine, I'm sure. 6 meals a day and a proper dorm with showers. man even I was getting ticked off at the sudden gush of parental fussiness over the whole affair. Just let the kid go already! =P He's a swimmer, not a sinker!

I do admit though, that the stated time that they were supposed to leave for the camp was @ 930AM, but they only left at 10AM, and that actually isn't THAT bad by Malaysian standards. At least we didn't have to wait till noon like ming's batch did, I think that must've been horrible. @_@

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Becoming my mom's fashion advisor for the day was fun. She was shopping for her company's annual dinner coming up next month, and the theme was a cowboy/red indian type of thing. Checkered shirt and jeans, check. =)

Lunch at Canton-i, Midvalley. All I have to say is, goose is GOOD =3

The afternoon was unbearably hot, and yet I didn't switch on my a/c. I don't know why! haha! Maybe thought I could bear the heat, which I did for the most part. We nearly ended up going to Tamarind Hill in Ampang for dinner (we were somehow craving for good Thai food) but the place was packed for dinner, so we went off to an old fave, BibiChik. Not too full, but not hungry either. I love the fish + mango kerabu combo!

Headed off to The Curve after. At first I thought we were going to stroll Ikea, but we ended up in quite a different place. I got myself this knit thing from nichii during the last 5 mins before we left. Sometimes the best buys are those that our mind says yes to within the first 5 seconds. XD Also saw that stripey OL dress that jyan tried on the other day. She looks better in it though, I look like a rolled up dumpling *laughs!

gosh I'm tired. 

blogshop trawling = dangerous.

After about 2 weeks of non-progress (just checked, it's 2 weeks and 2 days), I resume my hundredpushups mission. Dang I'm losing steam. But! I continue today. Better late than never.

First progress test done with a total of 47. 

Excuse time: Was waiting for my arms to be NOT sore from Tuesday's climb.

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While I was browsing for gift ideas for mom (yea hers is next month! @_@), I decided to go blogshop trawling once more. (I think this habit is getting dangerous but oh heck it, I rarely shop when I do step into the malls anyway) 

Thinking of getting my mom this bag I found online. Looks formal enough to bring to work and house her laptop, cause I remember her bag's going into pieces. And while I'm at it I was looking at one for myself. Well, 2 maybe. One to house my laptop and the other as an overnighter bag or something. A commendable candidate was this bag, but the size was a little too small to house shirohiro. Apparently some can be found in Sungei Wang too, but going there gives me the heebie jeebies (lala haven!). But! I will not deny the fact that there are good finds there, I just have to actually *go* and find them myself.

As a thought - geez I do have boring taste, but I don't want a black bag. And besides now could be a good time to start.. erm.. investing in 'work equipment'? *laughs*

Also found this pair of oxfords but I don't know if I will constantly wear them. I love them, but practically, would I wear them? bah!

xmas!

I know, it's not unheard of, but I really don't mind doing the dishes. I kinda like it, actually. Well yea that's probably because I don't do it every day, I might grow to hate it then, but right now, I stand with liking the chore of washing dishes.

I washed up after they had breakfast (yea I woke at noon, such a pig! =P) 

This was after mom and I did our fun little project on making some bruschetta. We used.. olives, ham, heaps of olive oil, cheese, tomatoes, apples and parsley. It was fun! 

And dad went to get us some xmas lunch of turkey with cranberry sauce! Dad bought the xmas lunch set so there's some random stuff like pasta and prosicutto with tomatoes and even log cake (which I couldn't eat cause I was stuffed by the time I was done) So thrown in together with our bruschetta here's what it looks like =)

And yes, I did part of the dishwashing after lunch too, ti did the other half before me. I took my time, and I even bothered to clean the kitchen counter tops after, so I think that took me a good hour or so.

I wonder if it's in the xmas mood to be good that made me want to do the dishes...haha!

an observation and some.

• The richer you are, the higher your walls get.
  
• Some like golden gaudy gates and slightly messy front porches.
  
• Some like the super modern, super Western-style fronts for their houses.
  
• I saw a grille which reminds me of the one at my old house.
  
• I think dad and I might have walked that bit of the area before.
  
• I saw Beethoven.
  
• I wonder how many steps I walked.
  
• Mrs Dhillon took up a major part of my secondary school life, all that work she dished out can rival an army bootcamp workout.
  
• Old couples in a shiney sportscar.
  
• I want to listen to a choir performance.

Quite some thoughts ran through my head. I just let them wash past me. I enjoy the outside!

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And a merry little christmas eve ^_^

real classic.

My fingers itched to type in the youtube video of Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". So I did, and I watched it, and her singing is SO good!

So I followed up with "The Man That Got Away" and "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". I liked "The Man That Got Away". I know who and what I was thinking of when I saw the title though. (No, it's got absolutely nothing to do with me, don't be silly!) I still like the song though =P And "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" reminded me of Pn Choong's retirement, as well as the upbeat piece I had a brass part in some time ago as part of a performance. =P

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And then I saw a link on Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers' "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes". And now.. I'm going to watch it again just because I think they make a really good pair, they do have that chemistry, even if Fred's dances are exceptional, and are definitely more expressive than Ginger's. Oh I love this pair! They're GOOD.

Night & Day, Swing Time, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Too Hot To Handle, I Won't Dance.. I forgot what else I watched. But dang! These people got it right. =)

the graveyard book

public void VerbalBarf("gushOnAboutGaiman!XD")

{

System.out.Println("As is with most if not all of Neil Gaiman's works I've read, it is amazing. The characters are really distinct from each other, and the adventures that Bod had gone through during his younger years. Wow. I'd expected the graveyard to be dry, dusty, mostly boring and hardly compelling grounds in which to tell a story, but haha he's done it again. Sometimes it reminds me of the Corpse Bride, as they're obviously more interesting than the people who are alive. 

I think he grew up rather quickly.. I think there could be some more questions to clear up even after the last bit.. Like what is he? and the reason behind his past? How did it tie in altogether? And what is it with this Jack business really? At first I thought it would be nice to know the real intention and the real master of the Sleer, but I suppose it was a good way to sort of kill 2 birds with a stone, with the way it was written. 

And Ms Lupescu is nice too! It would be great to have aunts like her =P Even if she is a sour, weird lady to begin with. I can't believe she gave Bod the nickname of "Nimini"! That is utterly random man. 

The Jack and Silas relationship reminds me of Harry Potter and what's his name... Sirius. Right. It's a good one though, a guardian who is protective and yet knows when to back off and give space to the kid to make his own mistakes (and more importantly learn from them)");

}

of hot chocolate flakes!

3 weeks after our first climb, cw and I went again yesterday. My arms still frigging hurt today. I think it'll go by tomorrow. It was a blue-y session for us cause somehow we couldn't reach the top for the first 3 walls we tried climbing. Simply frustrating. geh! But after that we decided to go to the simpler ones, and well at least we scaled it ok. I didn't do that well with the yellows, I was so close to the top when my arms decided to get tired (yea I know it's about legwork but somehow my brain refuses to cooperate! argh!).. after 4 tries I got to the frigging top but not without using the blues, blacks and just about every other colour. haih! I've gotta work on that.

So when are we going next? =3

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Ti's gonna go NS on Sat. He'd better have a good time cause at this point of time there's really no 'escaping' it, and besides chickenwing and ming both went, and they had a pretty good time there. Goes to show that it all depends on yourself, whether you want it to suck or not. So here's to hoping he'll get a good tan, a good workout and some good friends along the way.

Some time back when he first found out about it, he was all for trying to apply for exemption, or postponing it.. but I say wtf man just go for it, after all it might be a good thing for all you know. The point is, you never know. So go and find out! Geez man. 

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Tomorrow's xmas eve! I know, Christmas was never really a *special* occasion for me, but I do know how important it is to those who do (or at least I have an idea of how it is important to them, but anyway). Being an over-commercialized event, as much as everyone loves the jolly old man in the red suit, stockings over the fireplace, decorating the trees, Christmas flowers and what not, I have to admit that there's definitely more than that to the whole thing. 

I've listened to some choirs in the malls, you know, just walking past.. and I can sense the passion the choralers have for the spirit of Christmas, a time of mirth, a time of joy, and a time to truly appreciate Jesus' birth. Previously, I've been to a Christmas Eve play, a Christmas Eve mass, even gotten Christmas presents when I really wasn't expecting any (yes I still have that stocking =3) and I have to say.. the night of Christmas Eve still is the one that holds the most meaning. Somehow. Maybe it's the peace that settles on the world at the time, I don't know. But it has a different.. air to it. No one should be out doing mean stuff on the night of Christmas Eve. Well, no one should be doing mean stuff at all! But that's besides the point I'm trying to make. 

Just take a moment, and be happy and thankful for everything that your God has helped you achieve. I say help, cause in the end you have to go get it yourself. I love to appreciate, it's a humbling act that helps us rediscover ourselves. 

compressed!

I just noticed my dashboard telling me that I've typed up 666 posts to date. First thing that popped to mind:

Smoke! Smoke! Sign of the devil, sign of the devil, set it on fire

from Sweeney Todd - Johanna (Reprise)

But that's including all my private posts.. still counts, right? =P

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Friday was a.. phew. haha, it was fun. Not including my car breaking down in the middle of the road part of it though. Alternator went kaput on me. Arranged for us to meet at 6, ended up reaching only at 730PM! *sobs. But it was good, a small but talkative gathering of Sue-Li, Surina, Ben, Zoon and me. =3

Celebrated kor's birthday early on Saturday. Oh I'm glad he liked the presents we got him, and I have to admit mom & dad's present this time round was great! A Beano and Dandy Annual! All of us used to love to dig up the old annuals to read just because it was one of the rare forms of comic books in the house, and some of it was good stuff! Not to mention that it was ancient, of course. Like going back into time. =P Ti and I got him a shirt and wallet (I call it a good present since I found it within a half hour and he liked it! =3)

Sunday was all about soh ee XD I love to soh ee! The place where mom bought the soh ee stuff this year is great, cause there's so many many colours! And mom makes great sweet soup to go with it so I loooove this stuff XD Not too much of it in one sitting though. And more importantly, it doesn't crumble. I remember when we were doing the soh ee in Taiwan, the air was so dry and the doughy stuff was probably kept too long, so it was kinda hard to roll something so dry and crumbly into a nice ball. 

Also had a little kris kringle thingy after dance class XD got a photo frame which is pretty cute! Now to find a picture to put in it.. photo frames should not be left empty! *nodnods.

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First, to aichan! I'm soooooooo happy for you! XD

Oh holy night, my first Christmas

本当の気持ちだけを伝えたい いとしい君に

想いはあふれて

この季節が過ぎ去っても きっと変わらないよ

K - First Christmas

One of my favourite singles from this artist, and also the B-side to this single, which is a cover of Luther Vandross' "Every Year, Every Christmas". I love the piano accompanying this piece, but the vocals for the original beat this cover any day.. 

This song (or at least this verse) keeps repeating itself in my head! aacks!

Have yourself a merry little christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight

Judy Garland - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

And so let us have our merry little xmas! *runs around a Christmas tree*

one. two. three. yay!

I need a splash of colour to see a brighter day ahead! What more beautiful than this? I love the rainbow colours which might explain why I never have a fixed favourite colour, although I do prefer some more than the rest.

Credits to Dan for the tweaks to an xml template, and to stilletto.love for coming up with this piece of genius work.
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Finished Frank Beddor's Seeing Redd just a little before lunch today. 2 days. @_@ I read at a frightening pace sometimes. But the story is still good.

Lots of action, they should turn it into a movie soon. After all moviemakers seem to be adapting alot of fantasy fiction (some of them which are usually classified as children's fiction) to movies (think LOTR, Harry Potter, Eragon, Golden Compass or the upcoming Inkheart). So if that's any indication to go by I think Frank Beddor's series should be movie-fied too (provided they do a good job of it of course).

The story this time round is very political, with attacks seemingly coming from all sides, a time of realization for Hatter, and Alyss and Dodge finally coming together, Bibwit as wise as he's always been, and caterpillars permanently on high (and also able to squabble about tarty tarts at a time of turmoil). Politicians are all sneaky bastards when you take off all their bells and whistles.. ahem. Anyway. Also, I love the illustrations they have in the middle of the book, of the other characters (I remember Dodge, Molly, Doppleganger, and the card soldiers. VERY cool, and NOTHING like Disney's rendition)

Redd is still as evil as ever, she makes a really good bitch. I remember one line, Vollrath was saying "May I suggest that your Imperial Viciousness do some sightseeing, see what Paris has to offer?" And her curt reply, "I'd sooner rather kill you." XD such evil is good in an antagonist. A downright cruel woman. But she's not the only one, but certainly none has beaten her save Alyss herself.
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Now playing: Les Misérables - Lovely Ladies
via FoxyTunes

sheer white.

Both are my trusted, steadfast mates who have accompanied me for many a stressful and lonely night, and also through the good times.

I don't know what I would do without them. =)

_____________

I haven't thought of a good name for my camera yet. Maybe I'll leave it unnamed until I come across a good one for it.

なみだのあとで。

dear hiro.

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what to do, what to do このさきに、つずいてる winding road..

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It's not as easy as it looks, I suppose. It's no joke, and it's a hard game to beat. Maybe it's just exhausting since I've been trying ever since. No one's ever heard of cheat codes, I've found none, no saved games to revert to/go to, this is the only way. Can't be bothered to flip the forums, every sob story doesn't help. It's up to me.

of being the dressing room camwhore

this is actually quite fun with a good friend. 

aichan we must do this when you get back ok!

______________________

Partner in crime: Jyan

I forgot where we stopped.. waay too many to remember all. MNG was having sales so it would be futile to try - just looking at the queue deterred us from doing so. I think we only snapped ourselves in Topshop, Nichii and Zara. But we did try plenty of clothes, outerwear and shoes everywhere...

In Isetan there were some crazy nice-looking party dresses, heaps of bolero things and jackets and slouchy looking outerwear, and some dresses with very nice prints on them. We definitely enjoyed putting on clothes we weren't gonna buy (but we somewhat wished we could though, but that's what window shopping is all about ain't it? =P)

Marks & Spencers we spent looking at these maryjane shoes that look very cute and I think they would be quite comfy to wear~~~ I just wish they'd have smaller sizes like UK3.. which I know, is really small.. but still. UK4 is just that bit too big. Sauntered into their food section and drooled and drooled, and she bought chocolate coated-coconut yumness =3

Topshop:

OMG the jackets are so cute! There were some cute tops here actually, but you know how pricing in this shop goes. So we decided to try and dress ourselves in something that we wouldn't normally wear. I think we found a fringed top, a clown-ringmaster pink ruffley top, a cute bolero-looking thing, and a short ringmaster-type swallowtail jacket. I love the outerwear bit. And this satin-pink shade makes me look like a piece of fish meat. But the top looks ok though. Haha I really wanted her to put on this corset top but she said it would give her nightmares. =P

Zara:

OMG the jackets are so cute! (haha ok so I copy-pasted this). But really, there were so many that looked so nice! But impractical given the weather here.. And tried on some really killing heels, and my favourite pair of oxfords going for about RM200.  The theme for the TRF section seems to bea sort of punk and goth crossover, cause you see lots of red and black combos everywhere, and plenty of plaids and dark colours and lacey stuff. Was wearing this purple-black-white combo bubbley tube dress that was quite pretty too.. and there was this other weird dress I found there that I wanted her to try, I think it's some striking red dress in a weird cutting, either that or a black lacey-meshy looking dress... so since she wouldn't wear either, I found this halter dress with leopard prints on it. BWAHAHHA!

Oh an unexpected find was Gap Kids! The clothes there are so cute and colourful and if they had something like that for adults.. I would so buy them if I had that kind of money. There were these pair of flats we found that were very cute and fit us too! =3 Yay for tiney feet~

Nichii:

We found a dress that we chose for each other to wear, and both looked very nice! And reasonably priced too. No moolah spent, just time spent to look pretty =3 I swear i loved that dress she was wearing, and I liked what I was wearing too! I think mine was some red-coloured dress that looks very classy-ish, and she was wearing some office-looking thing with a stripey top part. The other black-and-white dress I got was decent-looking on me too.. but abit boring and slightly auntie-ish. 

For meals I think we stopped at Yoshinoya midway cause we were just hungry, and later at Manhattan Fish market. Haha just talked rubbish like girls do. We can somehow do it all the time. =3 Oh yes, dinner was the quickest affair ever, over within a half-hour (inclusive of waiting for food), haha how prompt!

Oh how I enjoyed doing this. XD

exhausted.

maybe that, and I don't know what made my mood that bit rotten that lasted the rest of the day.

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The Accenture Experience. It was.. interesting. Funny that, I've been saying it all day.

Met some people that I've met before in my life but not since that point of time, so it was refreshing to see what's become of them. 

The gist of the day.. was the case study, the groupwork, the presentation.

Case study was tough as! Something about our client being an NGO and that we were to help them improve their operations both internally and externally. Our mentor said we had the points but were very messy and unstructured in presenting what we had. She practically went "omfg what is happening to my team! They can do so much better than that!" And yea my bad bit about chap-sau-ing Daniel in the midst of his presentation. Apparently I made him look like an idiot and yea I better make it a point to not do it again. haha, will the royal screwup please raise your arms in the air. *raises arms* I can't help myself that I thought he was going out of point... and running Evy out of her time. But as an afterthought, I was probably at fault for beating around the bush. Evy felt so bad after cause she didn't get to finish her part. The Q&A after the presentation was more like a "gun down the presenters with an Uzi" spree cause we couldn't answer them at all.. we kept getting bombarded with questions by the judges, who asked the same question over. It's not a matter of us not understanding the question, it was just that we weren't given time to think and understand it enough to come up with a relevant answer.Well I'll salute Daniel for his effort but I think we weren't given the opportunity to listen and come up with an answer as he just jumped straight in to cover the silence. Kai Lun.. the hidden ace.. which stayed hidden. He had the good points but we sort of walked past them without giving a second thought. Our bad here. As for me and Jenny (haha okay so I don't know how to spell her name right) we were probably.. just sitting on the fence, either not doing anything much or it wasn't noticeable. Sounds like me. =P 

One thing I'm surprised though, is that not alot of people know the true value of the grand prize, the Crumpler messenger bag. I would effing KILL for one of those bags if it weren't illegal to do so, but the rest I asked (or at least exclaimed to) were like "Huh? I've never heard of it".. all I could think of at the moment was "WTF which coconut shell have you been living under?!" but it's not like I'm very knowledgeable either.. but OYH it's a damn Crumpler! You know how much one of those bags cost!? Blardy effing #$)(^*_#$^) one of those bags *easily* cost more than RM200! And its tough, sturdy, bright-coloured and a beauty to boot! -ok, enough with the rant. 

as a sidenote (after browsing the Crumpler site), I think the bag was a Western Lawn.

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Went to Aizat's for abit. Had fun playing a game called Mao. Will play again even if I *still* don't know how to use the Joker. yay for the dumbo! XD

Met with some funny people too, I like the way they interact with each other somehow. And the crazy laugh that is *like* his, I dunno, they seem to laugh the same. Saw a guy who reminds me of this Korean dude in South.. acks I cannot remember his name for the life of me! Cute in a way. Cool in a way.

got it. MATTHEW! The dude looks like Matthew! haha. ok my memory's not that bad.

Also saw this guy who reminds me of Andre. It's just the behaviour, I suppose. It's not a bad thing. Makes a good conversation. =P 

Playing Werewolf for just a round was abit of a spoiler.. it woulda been funner if I was the killer since I was quite unknown within the circle. =P Haha reminds me of this Murderer game we played at South... I think I just about managed to kill everyone off bwahahahha! I has skill man~~ or used to. XD

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ok crashing. Tired-o!

on numbers!

I just finished watching this amazing movie: The Number 23. It's about 23 and everything related to the number 23, or 23 reversed (i.e. 32). Like accidents, incidents, and more importantly, it revolves around the main character so much, that he's in for a ride. I love the characters of this story, and I never knew Jim Carrey could look so cool! hahah~ I like the detective alter ego =3 It was a brilliant idea, and I like the way it was carried out! And the twist at the end! He still manages to stuff in his warped sense of humor, like he somehow always does =P

And when I brought it back into my perspective, my number is probably 12. =P The total letters in my name add up to 12, I'm born on the 12th, I'm born at noon-ish (12ish), my address has these six numbers: 48 (4+8)|12|21 (12 reversed), yeeha! I'll always remember being 12th in class, except for that one time I was 21st in class.. haha! On a more casual side, my first online alter ego had 12 letters in total. Haha, I can't think of anything else right now. 

To put the icing on the cake, today's the 12th of December! XD

to focus.

I had nearly forgotten about my hundredpushups pledge. Time to get back!

Resumed with Week 2 Day 3: Ended with a max of 43. 2 short of 45, but its above 40, my target. So I'm glad! Will do the progress test on Friday...
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Not forgetting that I have the Accenture Experience on Saturday.

sting

Oh my gawd it stings. like a bee. or anything that stings, for that matter. haha, I'm making such a big deal out of something that shouldn't be. I'm such a baby. come on, idiot, hold yourself together. Out of sight, out of mind right? That's what happened.

Memory, how you hurt me so. You'll be good, and stay in the box, won't you?
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Time to experience the meaning of some words: dispirited, pensive, and just slowly taking everything in big gulps, one at a time.
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同じ唄を　口ずさむ時
そばにいて　I wish
かっこよくない優しさ
に会えてよかったよ

…Good-bye days

listening to: YUI - Goodbye Days

take a bow.

Time to end the first chapter, and see what awaits me when I turn the page.

It was a great adventure, and a great lesson. A great experience, even. So for that, I thank you.

My thanks and love to aichan, rach, mentor & loga.

Now onward! =)

yaho~!

When one is free, one trawls through blogshops.

Today I realize, that I am a shoe person.
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Some really neat finds I would really consider buying for myself:

1. Punk Retro @ shambijoux. And I would get this because this is very.. Pink. Like the motto: stuck between punk and retro. I like =P
2. Jackson ohimesan @ shambijoux. I have a guess what it's for, but you have to admit, the fabric is nice!
3. Gladiators @ Ninakimi. Even if I have a feeling that I may not be a glads person.. but adeh these are way cool! I cannot keep my eyes off them..
4. Wedge Rebirth @ Tenladytoes. oh my effing toot the drawn design is so freaking good. But they look like they're gonna hurt once worn.

Okay, enough. =D

back from taiwan.

in a nutshell: Taiwan is some shopping heaven, money-flying-away heaven but not as food-heaven as I expected it to be.

Silly place only started to winter itself up on the last 2 days I was there.
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Shopping wise, I was really tuned into this aspect of the entire trip.

So I was pretty happy when I found out we'd be staying right next to the hippest area =P I love 西門町(ximending)! Known as the 新宿区(shinjuku) of Taiwan, it really lives up to its name. It comes to life after the sun sets, has more shops that you can shake your shoe at and has heaps and heaps and heaps of stuff to buy. Before this I was in the mania of trawling blogshops, and straightaway I could see where they got most of their stuff from. Saw the oxfords I wanted to buy but by the time I had decided to buy it I had no spending money left (laugh yes laugh.). Flats galore, and some of them very cute! Saw a huge selection of domo-kun stuff *this is your cue to squeal XD* and quite a number of Japanese mania stuff (inclusive of some very ugly Choppers but I have a huge plushie and a keychain of it so I'm not hungering for it anymore) going for quite a steep price tag, but as with most shopping trips, time to haggle haggle haggle! =) For some reason, I was also VERY enthused when I saw the gothic clothing shop. There was this swallow tail vest that I saw with chains at the back, VERY VERY nice. But also quite expensive. *sigh*

五分舖 (wufengpu) was another of the places that I would love to spend an entire day or two at to get totally lost, and that area is really like a maze! Every corner you turn, there'd be shops and more shops! From bags to tops to bottoms to shoes to food to gloves to tights to socks to boots... you name it, it'll have it somewhere. Mom and I got lost cause we took one wrong turn. And really, that's enough to get you lost. A pity they were selling mostly winter clothes and jackets and really thick outerwear but since I love that kind of clothing anyway.. I ended up buying a thick plaid winter jacket and a pair of boots. Calf-length boots with a little knit lace-looking thing fringing the top of the boot. Both items were really a steal. Now someone come up to me and laugh, cause really, living in a country so close to the Equator, when's the next chance I'm gonna get to wear it again?! haha!
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Girls in Taiwan are mostly very. very. pretty. Hahah! The moment you turn your head, oop, there goes another one.We were at 鼎泰豐 (ding tai fung) that day, and kor and I noticed that both the girls who were in charge of seating the guests were very cute =) Distinctively different look, but both very cute. So I had to tell him to say his "final farewells" when we finished lunch.

WTF man where are the cute guys! hahah! Well there are some, but come on, I'm not one to like little boys. Most of them look either quite lala or just plain weird. And mostly students. oh well. =P
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Food in Taiwan was quite different. My favourite meal was on my first night, we were scouring for supper at about 11PM, and we found this noodle shop at the corner of the street where our hotel was..it was just noodles and simple dishes like taufu+meatfloss and braised chicken but I tell you that was the best meal EVER. Okay, discount the fact that we were hungry and that it was cold-ish (abit) and you still get a full meal for less (yep you read that right) than RM50! I love it. =D

Also love the street food, the wild boar sausages were good =D and they have quite a number of fishcake-inspired food so that was interesting and good. I love their rice! It reminds me of sushi rice somewhat, but its very nice and sticky to the correct texture without being mushy. I also enjoy drinking hot soyabean for breakfast. mm! XD I didn't have the guts to eat the stinky taufu, it smells like the sewers! *random flashback to a GW field trip* and you can smell it from at least a block away! @_@ Noodles are a must somehow, especially soup noodles of any sort.. I say this for at least 2 reasons: one, their soup is yummo! and two, it keeps you and the food nice and warm. 士林夜市 (shilin night market) was interesting, the atmosphere was anyway. Had the super fried chicken.. I kinda liked it but the flour was starting to make me gag so I had to peel the flour off. Also ate orchien but the gummy part of it was really gummy, so it was sort of strange. Penang's orchien nicer. =P And of course, bubble pearl tea XD By the time we finished eating these 3, we were about full. =P

As is with most countries, we had our trip to McDonalds. The unique item of the menu will definitely be the toasted rice burgers. Instead of using burger buns, they use toasted rice (sort of like 煎餅-senbei but not THAT toasted, you can still tell it's rice rice) and its actually pretty good. =D

Oh the surprise for the trip will be the last dinner we had in Taiwan. Get a hold of this: Friday's.

I know, go wtf all you like, but I swear Friday's in Taiwan is good for the unhalal reason: their pork ribs are GOOD! =D Pork ribs for us are always special cause you rarely if ever get them here in Malaysia. So we jumped at the chance! It was also freezing outside and we were looking for a place for dinner. Also, the waiter who served us (this guy named Simon who wears a thick headband and looks like a potential b-boy) was quite funny. He tried conversing with us in English, and boy we had a good laugh. After he found out we could at least comprehend mandarin, you could see relief written all over his face. He was cute in a way, but I had to give him brownie points for trying. =P
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Saved the best part and the most click-happy part for last: the historical-cultural-touristy part of the trip. Went to the onsen area, up the mountains and down the mountains. There were heaps of pictures to take, and a totally different part of Taiwan to see. People love their dogs, plenty depend on their scooters and Vespas (scream FURIKURI!), are religious, superstitious and have a very strong belief in 風水 (fengshui) - its very apparent in their structures, architectures and even in shop displays, like even at the Taipei 101.

Alot of Taiwan reminds me of Japan: like the metro system where you buy tickets based on price and not location, the tight side streets and back alleys, onsen, shopping areas (ok one exception is that Sogo is like Myers), the school uniforms, and even the things their youth like. I know they've got a history with Japan and that's probably the main reason.
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Maybe I'll do a proper writeup when the mood strikes.

*tummy grumbles*