its like a malaysian summer

It's been really hot these past few days. If Malaysia ever had a 'summer', this would be it.
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Went to ecoparadise the other day, it was interesting. =)

The floors where you lie on are about 40C and believe me that's pretty hot, especially when its already hot outside as is. Already I sweat alot, and this one really made me sweat buckets. However it was kinda comfortable after awhile.. and seeing this old dude sleep there like he's sleeping at home.. I was kinda amazed. Probably because the wooden flooring outside was quite cool, it was quite surprising to step into a room of hot tiles and hot air. The amazing thing was that the room didn't smell of body odour or sweat. Coolness!

I was expecting something like a sauna where you sit down, but this one makes you lie down. So I'm wearing a yukata (which sort of reminds me of a farmer's yukata.. but anyway) and lying down in a room where its constantly hot, sweating like crazy, and somehow thinking "So this is what it might be like on a very hot summer's day in a prison cell." So kill me for having random thoughts, but despite it all it was quite relaxing.

The really really good part after was taking a shower.. makes you appreciate every drop even more. And the place is quite nice, I really liked the flooring and the locker rooms where you change and shower are nicely done.. I've still got another 2 trips, whee~
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I am not going to be slacky no more. Finally got my butt off being lazy! Now to keep it up for the rest of my final sem! Have to work harder~
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Attended this workshop where they were talking about having work experience in the US. Either for the winter vacation working temp jobs or a one-year-to-18-months thing working an IT-related job. I'm seriously considering it, it will be good for applying for jobs after I'm done with the stint, assuming that I apply for it. And of course, the fact that I've never been to the US in my entire life makes the deal even sweeter.

my turn

.... to rave and rave and rave about the dark knight.

Alright, so I'm a sucker for the antithesis of your superhero stereotypes. And for me, my idol is still Batman. After all, he's rich, he's got the brains, he's got the guts, he's got the skills, he's got the gadgets (and oh how I would *kill* for them) and he's got the obsession. Not to mention he's got the coolest butler ever! Alfred! =)

The script was very well written. It didn't need Heath Ledger's death for it to be famous; it was the sheer colour of the script that turned the Joker into what he was, that portrayed the characters for what they really were.

I absolutely loved how everything played out nicely - especially all the mind games the Joker played on EVERYONE. In a way, he did prove his point, but despite the unnerving odds, Gotham showed a glimmer of hope. So despite the fact that it was extremely depressing to some, I think it's important that this point gets through, and so I found it rather inspirational, in fact. Inspirational in the sense that not only does every single person have a slightest bit of good in them, but also inspires us to think of the crap society really is behind all the curtains, and the fact we can do something about it. In the end, we still make the choices.

Joker may have been a totally insane, random and of course violent, but he was also a genius in his own right. The fact that his sequence of actions made no sense made Gotham an exciting place to be, and he was just bringing out the survival instincts of every human. On one end, it had everyone working together, unanimously agreeing on the 'right' choice of action. On the other end, it had everyone bringing out the worst in each other to the extent that they would be willing to kill each other to survive. To me, he proved his point really well. He just did it for fun, and I like to think that I understand the reasoning behind it. My favourites, personally was his ideals behind the knife and the different ways he played his game with no rules. And his laugh, oh his laugh.

"You wanna know why I use a knife? Those guns are too quick, you can't savour their last moments. People show what they really are during the last moments before death. So I can say that I knew your friends much better than you did. " -Joker

Batman is an unconventional hero. He's hated by the many, but accepted by the wider audience. His obsession, his duty that he undertook on his own accord is truly 'noble' for those who know nothing of the reasoning behind his existence. I don't think he really wanted to protect the people per se, but they got in the way and he really couldn't drag all these other people who had nothing to do with his personal vendetta. So in a sense, his hero-work is just getting 'obstacles' out of the way. And since I didn't really follow the comic I don't know who the real perpetrator of the deaths of his parents. I don't think they ever gave conclusive evidence, and I'll leave it at that. That way, he's got more chances to learn more of himself and his boundaries.

The gadgetry was quite impressive although it would be nice if they showed more, I always love the gadgets that come with Batman. The boat, the plane, the car, the bike, the many ninja things he keeps on him... More I say, more! =D
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I can only wish there were more movies of this calibre.
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I really thought I was seeing things when I saw Edison Chen when they were filming that Hong Kong bit. It wasn't until aichan was saying, "Where, where!" that I knew I wasn't seeing things. Amusing, but useless~

Morgan Freeman is a legend in his own right. Love his manner of speech.

"So you're telling me that although you have an idea of who this person is, who owns this enterprise, and who goes out in the night fighting for Gotham - all you want to do is blackmail him? Well I wish you good luck." -Lucius

Now ain't that classic?

(ha-ha of course I don't remember the actual lines, but the meaning was somewhere along there lah.)

dream

I was listening to this song the other day:

Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...
Andra & The Backbone - Sempurna

It's a short sweet song and sometimes, you don't need to be complex to get your meaning across. Sometimes I listen to it, and feel that hey, you really are... sempurna. I could want nothing more than this.
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I've been dreaming alot lately. I'm at this point of my life where I wish I could just continue sleeping, continue dreaming, and never have to face the day when you're not here. But life goes on, and I eventually wake up. Sometimes slightly lethargic, but I'll wake up. Face the day, and when night falls I will gladly succumb to the reality where dreams reign. I'll let myself be led further and further in, and before I've had the chance to be satisfied with where things are going, I'll have to wake up and face the morning again.
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Was at my cousin's on Saturday, and between us (korg, ming and I) we were discussing life in Melbourne, the drinks, the music, the life, the freedom.. and sometimes I wish so hard Ming and I could trade places. His life is here, mine is there. I was probably starting to feel tipsy from the wine, but I think all that drinking made me do was miss my life in Aus. blah.
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Went out to Midvalley with fellow S9ers. omigosh I haven't met some people in AAAAAGES! We all still click, bring up all the old histories, find out what each other's up to (someone's going to Philly, another to Chicago, and another... aih I'm forgetting... ken and hou are working, jiun's interning, wh just graduated from Reading, the rest of us poor sods still studying) and for the most part while we weren't stuffing our faces with food we were just talking and talking nonstop, easily the loudest crowd in Italiannies @ The Gardens.

After dinner, more lepaking ensued. Slowly but surely made our way down to the main entrance of The Gardens, you know, the one with the super comfy seats in front of the concierge and we just lepaked there till 10PM. Some old hag was giving us the stare of death cause she wanted to sit in this particular seat that emo boy HH and the rest of them were sitting on earlier.
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The Sydney cousins were here for the entire week! It was so fun to catch up with Div, while the guys played it out with Raj & Rhys. The adults well did as most adults do, talking, eating, visiting places, and a WHOLE lot of shopping. omigosh they had to buy another suitcase back! Goodies they bought included a LOT of DVDs, an electric guitar, clothes, shoes, books... fuuh. Amazingness! =P

Not to mention the mountains and mountains of FOOD that we ate! I especially missed Saffron @ Hartamas cause I haven't been there in AGES! Also the heaps of Chinese seafood, super yummy dim sum, tai chau, noodles, rice, lou shi fun, curry that guama cooked.. gosh all mouth watering. As if we weren't fattened up enough already >_>

I'm really gonna miss them! *yet another reason to head down to Aus! @__@*
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Went for salsa class after missing a week of it. blah my footwork's getting shoddy and it shows. @__@ The routine this week was fun though, still need to remember the final few inside turns, and I'll be fine~ Last week's routine, which the seniors Lim and Lai Kuan taught me within 30 mins was ok, just that once Por started putting in all the fancy stuff my brain started to spin. @___@

But all in good faith, I'll get back into the groove soon enough. Hah was too busy entertaining the cousins to get some time to myself to think about it, put on my shoes and do a few spins XD (wah cakap macam hebat sangat, tapi akhirnya cakap tak bikin rupa! =P)
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When I want you in my arms, when I want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do, is
Dream, dream dream dream...
The Everly Brothers - All I Have To Do Is Dream

And so will I.

The boy who keeps my heart.

mushy post alert

Even though we didn't have alot of memories to remember us by, it was somehow enough to carry me past some of the harder, lonelier times. If I close my eyes and think about it, everything we said, everything we did, it would play back in my mind's eye, just as good as watching the best movie of my life.

Sometimes I would wonder, "What would it be like if we..?" or "What would you think, what would you say, what would you do if.." or even "You should have been here, you would have loved it because.."

I had my doubts - how long could we hold out? We don't do alot of things conventional people do when they miss each other. We don't call often. And when we do there's always a long-ish awkward moment of silence. We don't go mushy on each other. We don't say alot of things we want each other to say. We don't send letters to each other. We don't send care packages or whatever it is that comes in the boxes that makes our eyes go all sparkly.

However, giving the thought of us up wasn't really an option. I can't bring myself to do it, all that was not a good reason enough to let go. For me, it's enough just to be able to talk to you every day. Even if its just bytes and bytes of ascii characters being sent from one dumb terminal to another. Even if these bytes don't attach feelings to them for us to see, the emotion is still there, faintly, but enough.

You're still the one that I miss the most.

wai

• 自分の中に、何かが"emo rant" と言います。うるせな。
• I'm sleepy without the ドキドキfeeling of anxiety. よかった。
• I will get a proper job after I graduate and have my own place.
• I want my happy ending.
• Travelling around the world sounds like a novel idea.
• It would be nice to speak more languages.
  
• I want a pet dog.
• More creativity please.
  
• Maybe someday I will be able to dance the waltz with you?
• Or maybe to be able to play any piece I want.
• I want to watch more musicals.
• But as a person, I just want to be humble.

a bitter pill to swallow?

Looks like I was dreading my results for a good reason - it's definitely the 'worst' I've gotten so far. Worst for the student who's been more than 'a little better' than the average. I admit, I would like to be the genius of the pack, but let's face the truth, shall we?

It's not like I was very high up to begin with but to fall even from there makes me think I failed alot of people. Not just me. Especially to the people who thought that I was even worth an ounce of their time, especially my parents. I even thought, "now I'm just like any and every one of you out there". Hah, big words for such a little being.

Looking back, I think my 4th term was the turning point; it started to go downhill from there.. This is reminding me of my Form 2 first-term result and onward (probably including the midterms).. 6th-9th-12th-18th-20th. Then back up 16th, and 12th again.

Anyway, back to the main topic. I deserved the bragging rights when I worked for it, now its just 'someone' 'somewhere out there' telling me that if I want to retain it I better bloody work for it.

As they say, youth is wasted on the young. After all, the young are foolish. Just that now happens to be my time. I was asking for it you know, not working hard, and I really really mean not working hard AT ALL. I know it but I still did it anyway, maybe I thought I was going to get away with it like I 'always' did. A hard lesson for me to learn - I may have gotten away with it more than once but sometime it'll come back to nip me in the arse.
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I'm done with this, time to move on. Literally, my final chance in redeeming myself.

relax dudette!

I can't believe it's gotten to tossing and turning in bed, so I didn't really sleep much and I couldn't sleep in either. It's driving me crazy! *sob
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On the other hand can't wait for the Sydney cousins + parents to crash KL tomorrow evening!

i am weirded out.

I seriously had the weirdest dreams last night. I attribute it to the nervousness and the sheer wreckage of nerves that I was in thinking that my results were out today. (oh crap I realized it this evening that it's supposed to be out tomorrow)
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First part; the results. Obviously going onto WES, clicking the dreaded link to get to the results. Already I could see it, 1D (I think it was a low 70s) and 2 very miserable-looking Ps, maybe 55 and below... (afterthought: I only sat for 3 papers this sem but in this dream I was sitting for 4) And then, and then.... I realized one of them didn't have a mark on it. It was for an Environmental paper (WTF again I don't even take science so I don't know what that was doing there) Obviously, I freaked. WTF how could I not get a mark when I went for the exam? And the worst possibilities came to light - I forgot to write my number on the exam booklet, someone hates me etc. Dahlah the paper susah sangat and now the fact that I could be failing cause I didn't do something as simple as this, it wasn't my way to go man! My mom was freaking out, and my dad too.

Eventually after I was over that I decided to go to uni and see whether there was anything else I could do. They suggested what I feared the worst, but funnily enough they let me sift through all the marked exam papers to see if I could identify mine for them to be able to give me a mark - after all if I was the only one with no mark and if they had marked an extra paper surely that extra paper would be mine.

Anyway. I sat there all day looking for the paper, and while I was looking, I thought.. "if someone else didn't write their ID either then there'd be 2, how would I know which was mine? What if they took the one which incidentally had a much lower mark, that would be damn unpleasant too.." (afterthought: I realize I should be able to recognize my own handwriting if it ever came to it) I kept worrying and worrying and worrying that I wouldn't find the paper...

note: the dream derailed from there, I never knew what the ending was.. I remember feeling like a mess of nerves as I half-awoke from this one, but I drifted back into more unsettling things..
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Second part involved some very lesbian-ey stuff.

@___@

I won't exactly say what we were doing but the other girl and "I" (I presumed it was me since it was like from a first-person POV) were pretty intimate with each other. It was in an apartment, some strangely dodgy-ish place somewhere in Malaysia (afterthought: haha I find this part weirdly funny now that I think of it.. after all it didn't exactly have a/c and I remember the walls of the room being painted a minty green for some reason, like those cheapo motels..) where everyone else (both genders) was gaming/watching tv/eating snacks and we snuck away. It definitely involved alot of whispering (afterthought: We didn't want to get caught? It was more exciting that way? @__@) and when they eventually called for us, she whispered to me, "Shh, let them think we're asleep."

afterthought: They say dreams are your subconscious mind telling you of your most innate desires. (I want to be a lesbian? erm, no, I don't think I felt that way. This part of the dream for me is like what it probably would be like if I got into a lesbian's shoes, like getting into the character of a good book) After giving this some thought, hmm.. even though 'we' were quite intimate with each other and all there was no feeling of 'love', not in the conventional sense anyway.. just the feeling of comfort and the rush of joy from it all.. oh yes, and the lust was overwhelming it forced me to wake up. No kissing though, which was abit strange despite the situation. I guess for me, kissing is a very personal thing, so no kissing, not even in dreams with fictional beings. I think I would prefer to save that for someone really special that exists =P

The end? Well I don't remember the middle bits but I think that's the gist of it.
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And then I woke up.

Drank some Koko Black chocolate, was pretty full after that XDXDXD as a side note, I got an extra big pack of chocolate flakes since Auntie Ming promised me some when she came down from Melbourne yayay!

went to KLCC and back. Originally to give my dad a spare something but he found his original AFTER I reached KLCC. Bah! haha~ so I went to have lunch with him, dressed like a slob and all. And and and right the guy sitting at the next table creepily looks like that Msian chinese singer Guang Liang. Gosh that was weird! I mean he came in with an entourage of people too, including a camera man and a personal assistant and some other people, whatever they might look like. Maybe it was the hair or the face, I have no idea.
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Today was definitely one of the weirder days I've had.
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As a side note: OMG please don't let me predict my results so accurately! Let them be okay.. T__T I'm seriously hoping for at least credits and above! I will seriously cry if my dream was an omen.. Great, now I'm afraid for tomorrow. Just freaking great.

*sob!

already?!

been quite awhile since I've posted in.

For the most part I've been chilling out trying not to think about Friday. This Friday. @__@
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Drove everywhere despite the rise in petrol price, to reeis' house, to uni back and forth, to my client's office, helping out with the pre-departure briefing and answering nonstop for almost a half hour... it was good to get out of the house without the stress of studying.
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The LCCT really reminds me of the old Subang airport but I think this is slightly crappier. Not devastatingly hopeless though. Didn't have any more space to pack in a book and my iPod died so I didn't have much to do apart from mulling around the airport to kill time. Yeah genius dictates that I should arrive 4 hours before my flight.

Spent most of my time in Brunei with akagami, waltzing, the mahjong sessions, seeing her frustrated face over the errands she had to do for her brother's wedding, playing with her new Wii and the rest of it. The waltzing was really fun, although it was abit hard at first. Don't remember the names of the moves but it was fun having to do them. Holding my head up and to the left most of the time gave me abit of a neckache =P I can probably waltz up and down a room without tripping on someone's foot~~ yay? XD

Apart from that the chickenwing and I were sitting together talking some really really random crap during the wedding dinner itself, and we must have looked totally insane to the other adults (yes adults whom I've never met in my life) and boy did we laugh when we heard this guy burp while singing a note.. I for one didn't think that it was worldly possible to do so but hey never say never eh. Also the emcee was being condescending towards the girl dancer who also happens to be akagami's friend, wtfness! The emcee I dunno who but man it was annoying to hear his lewd-ish remarks and his slightly whiny and very irritating voice.

Watched the movie "Wanted". Hmm it was a pretty predictable show, Angelina Jolie was cool though as most of her characters are. The main chara was such a wimp and Morgan Freeman is a screen legend so I don't have to say how he did in the movie. There was the classic Star Wars "I am your father" moment which I just had to laugh at. I did like the wax bath and the Russian dude who handled it. And peanut butter attracts rats. geh.

Also was amazed at akagami's bf's place and his obsession for Warhammer (not the PC game mind you but the actual physical moving pieces and what not). He's gotten all the stats memorized and I bet if you pulled any piece out of a bag or start throwing questions about Warhammer at him he'd tackle them all like primary school math.
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Went out to karaoke with aichan, reeis, teh-o and kah-san on Saturday. I SALLOOOT TEH-O for her karaoke skills! XD (did I forget to mention they can kill? Literally XDXDXD its good to have a gila one around) and I'm starting to suspect the drinks were spiked, nothing else would have made us scream our lungs out to Spice Girls or Backstreet Boys in their 90's days. It was soooooooo.... embarassing. But all done in the name of good fun la. Worth the RM16 or whatever I paid. haha!

"I WANNA -UH I WANNA -UH I WANNA -UH I REALLY REALLY WANNA SAY ZIGZAG AH!" -Teh-O,2008

Or whatever the lyrics were.

Quite a number of Japanese songs we found, so we were pretty amazed, started to hunt for lots of songs and singing them out of tune, laughing to the vomit-inducing karaoke videos that usually came together with the English songs (you konw, the ones where you see some random scenery or some random people walking/posing around as though you got Rickrolled)

After we got our throats sore from screaming at the box, we went onward to watch the Hulk where nerv was waiting for us. This movie was. Just. Awesome! I didn't see the first Hulk movie so I thought this one was good. I'll leave Marvel to breathe life into their comics and damn they did a good job. It did remind me of King Kong in some parts (especially the ones where they were scaling the buildings - if it were the Empire State Building then it'd be perfect) and the action was simply cool! The firearms bit was abit over the top ON BLOODY COLLEGE GROUNDS but it was still good XD

Spent some time at little penang kafe after the movie, discussed the movie and alot of other random things for 2 hours before finally parting ways for the day.
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The last week of my holidays is next week. And my Sydney cousins, aunt and uncle are coming over for a holiday yayay! Should be in time to take them to bon odori~~ Maybe I should make another obi and get a geta lookalike so that my cousin can wear it too... hmm.. just a thought. Light blue silk yukata with a sunny yellow yellow obi? Or should I make a red one?

Gonna meet with the supervisor tomorrow. Oh gosh let it be all right! @___@ And I really should get cracking on the design phase.. the class diagrams and all that jazz.

I must re-iterate: my supervisor is a freaking twat.

Anyway. sigh! Results out on Friday. Please please please let it be all right. I've never felt such impending doom after the end of all my papers as I have this semester, let it be all right! ~____~