i am veri disappointed....

so disappointed...

disappointed wif wat...

i don feel like saying...

so heart broken...

de effort tat i did....

maybe means nth to u...

even i noe de ans...

but...

i am too heart broken n disappointed...

it realli hurts me so much...

i don noe wat to say...

where is de hope ????

i jus lost it.......

i don wan to say much anymore...

it realli pains me....

pains me till de extend tat de tears cannot stop at all..........

it will go down de drain...

maybe u will c mi again... maybe not...

de effort tat i take...

de effort frm dis week...

all for nth...

i was ok wif it...

as long as u r happy...

but..

tat 30mins...

de 30mins...

30mins...

i was gone...

i noe u r abit disappointed...

i made a effort jus to make u happy...

i realli wan to hav a good talk wif u...

a nice chat..

between u n me...

tats all

but...

i....

i...

tears drop...

heart shattered...

de pain...

it is too pain dis time...

now is 3.30am... jus bath hao... not long ago came home frm zouk... went to phuture wif jess they all.. jiayang send us back.. he drove to zouk.. i nvr drink much at zouk.. as drinks was ex... drank 1 volka + cramberry... 2 shots of tequila... 1volka orange.. music at zouk was alright.. not high enough... as we leaving phuture.. there was a fight inside.. nth much to my interest..

haven't been doing much lately... was sick last week.. didn't c a doc till thur 4 in de afternoon den go c doc... went to polyclinic.. stubborn ??? maybe.. idiot.. i tink so... coughing n flu for few days.. slight fever... though herbal tea n panadol can heal.. but it got worse.. :(

after visiting de doc.. went home.. ate de med.. den slp... jus rest rest rest...

fri le... went sentosa wif huihui.. was feeling better.. at least flu is better.. cough still de same.. saw eoin at sentosa.. mi n huihui went cafe delmar nearby to suntan.. weather was sunny.. great !!! but super hot... mi n huihui bui tahan de sun.. i apply tanning lotion den stay in water to tan.. water was warm... stay till 3plus 4 den left... went home n rest.. :)

mom nv buy or cook my dinner.. as she though i eat out.. den i call dad buy back.. eat hao dinner.. den eat med.. rest n online till quite late..

sat le.. stay home whole day.. cough was still dere.. coughing like fuck.. :( hate to eat med.. cannot eat much also.. sigghhh... at night went out wif szesze, huixin n weiquan.. went to supper.. ate indian rojak.. i coughing still eat tat.. u mus tink i am crazy.. but nth much to eat also.. den went huixin house slack n try to save her laptop.. her laptop hav problem.. weiquan try to save..

sunday... went to edyna work place.. she ask mi down.. tried to ask mi work as so call mlm wif her.. stay n hear wat de place offer.. after tat head to sengkang play ball wif fab.. was coughing along de way.. :( play abit n chat abit.. reach home around 11pm.. bath n ate dinner.. eat med le den rest....

mon stay home.. did nth much.. went to jog in de evening.. long time nvr jog.. was panting like hell... at night jus rest..

tue le.. also de same... BORING LIFE....

wed le.. went out in de afternoon.. pay some bills... pay cousin $$$... pay citibank also.. sian.. bank no $$$ liao...

AHHH...

freaking boring life.. i hav de temptation to sms tat person.. but don dare.. scare.. scare u find mi a bug.. sighhh.... i am jus a fool.. :(

now is 1.51am... i jus now suppose to be sleeping by 11.30pm.. took 2 panadol as i wasn't feeling well.. slight fever

now i cannot go back to slp.. i woke up.. den cannot slp :(

my heart is hurting again.. so pain..

feel like crying..

i miss a gal..

a gal tat i feel comfortable wif...

ppl noe tat i like her...

it is so obvious ???

a gal 6th sense ???

i realli wan to hold her..

emo ??? maybe...

i feel like drinking... drinking my sorrows away...

feel like smoking...

i am jus a useless fuck...

a fucking useless big cry baby...

update time...

well.. it has been a happening week for mi i guess..

i hav been going home quite late almost everyday... 12mid night ??? NOOOOO... as early frm 2am til 5am... go where ???

also went for dim sum buffet.. 1st time eat dim sum buffet.. huihui eat dao go home vomit.. LOL

well.. leo was going taiwan for training.. so he jio us out.. he drove us out.. go geylang supper... go ponggol end... go selatar dam..

also watch a movie call detriot metal city... DAMN FUNNY movie.. nv though it was such a funny movie..

den hav been jogging lesser.. as it has been raining alot..

last monday also went swimming wif huihui... went to yishun to swim.. she jio mi den jus go.. :)

tue le.. went to makan wif guan, huihui, mh n phong... den slack n chat dao 12mid night.. took last bus home..

wed le.. jog a longer distance.. jog to sengkang den to pj house be4 heading to hougang point.. estee work at hougang point.. so go disturb her.. den go home rest n bath.. ltr at night send her back as she don noe how to leave hougang :) took mrt back to amk.. saw guan.. chat abit den go home had dinner..

thur le.. biao jie jio mi go watch movie.. she bought 9plus de movie.. watch de fast n furious 4... DAMN NICE MOVIE LA !!! CARS !!!! BABES !!! ACTIONS !!! after tat head to tanjong pagar find guan n zhiwen..

chat n la kopi dao 4plus den took night rider home.. reach home in 20mins frm the central.. de bus driver fierce sia... though he race driver.. CHIONG !!!! lol.. slp at around 6am...

morning wake up by dad.. he ask mi go JURONG !!! go pray... -.-!!! den went to old cck... well.. i noe my enlistment data le.. june 9th.. police.. LOL... slack ??? maybe..

sat le.. did nth for whole day.. till night went club wif huihui n her fren.. LOL.. dblO... wheeeee... saw qijie, bao quan they all.. lol.. club dao 4am.. den took night rider home.. went to had bee hoon be4 i go home.. drank alot.. was slightly high..

reach home at 6plus am.. dad was off to jog.. HENG !!! arbo de smell of liquior was strong.. bath n slp at almost 7.30am..

slp 5hrs den wake up liao... knn.. now slacking.. today rot at home.. no $$$.. lol

i had a dream of u again... for de past few nights.. i hav been dreaming abt u...

it realli hurt mi badly...

i don noe wat to say..

i wan to try saying it..

but..

i don even dare...

not a single sign of hope when i try to contact u...

maybe i am jus a naive person..