A man with a dream will not be denied
there are no shortages of surprises in this year,
firstly, i got into my internship program in dragages singapore, although it seemed like my dreams were one step closer in the world of construction.
Like all dreams from afar , the castle in the clouds was nothing but a haven for the travellers with the golden tan. Its a french company, the top management headed by zee french, french this , french that.. that irreverant drawl, a cross between a southern cowboy accent with someone who has a fly caught in his throat.
nah, they ain't that bad, its just that the king, queen and prince has been laid by lineage, queue up if u ain't french.
that was the first bust up, i didn't want to stay bitter
i moved on asking myself if the hours are worth it, my efforts moving hills from mountains
it ain't as the mitigator is vested with limited powers, we are but the yellow skin kinsmen.
for now we lay low, hear us in time, for the roar of a million dragons will shake the earth and devour the sky.
next, i read rich dad, poor dad.
immediately, i felt really stupid.
stupid for never have read the book all my life when it was just collecting dust in a corner of the drawers.
destiny knocks at yr door when you least expect it, coz even when it does knock,
wld you open to uncertainty or close that door leaving yr silent fears to fester on yr remaining years.
i chose to break the door
out come a window , a garage, a pool
snab snab
snab snab wishes to post a disclaimer : it's really up to u if u think the postings are made up of half truths, truths or pure insinuating lies. snab snab takes no responsibilty for the eventual outcome of yr interpretations.
may it be girl,girls,girls trying to be boys,boys,boy, boy alr a girl. the world is really twitching its nose in every direction with accordance to the winds of change. alarming trends aside, i think its impt to be able to poke fun at one another all the time :) but remember that there are some places even the indomitable snab snab won't go. never joke about parents unless its meant to be complimentary , never tease about yr best dude/pal sexual orientation, your arse is as likely as a target as any others. (gasp all you want, his hom"o"ing missile never misses :P.) try not to belittle or make someone feel really bad. What lowlife u may be if that's all yr brain can conjure up .picking on the weak is like robin hood in a red thong ( it just ain't right)
for some reason i wake up at 8 everyday, perhaps hossan leong is really the life of any morning party. no one loves to ramble more than he does and what a riot he runs with his semi automatic vocals ( fully automatic more apt ya?)
it has been a gd week, met the select few whom i wished to embrace. yes, even the elusive enigma herself. a rubik's cube with six faces.
china in 4,3,2,1
:)
the morning breaks to an early dawn
and we go sha la la la.. why is happiness short-lived.
i think the answer is pretty simple. the appreciation comes with its flicker of existence.
the rules of economics played out in front of us, when something is in huge demand without accompanying equivalent supply- the price takes a hike, i know that all who peruse must be wondering why did i have to bring out this over engaged cliche. once again, the answer is simple, some things require no complex formulas nor unphantomable maxims to derive the instrinsic truth. you want it, you have to fight for it.
across all stratas of lifeform, organisms, food chains , hierachy. that is always a leader and his/ her many followers. the boundaries are drawn clear with respect to the estate each component of this tightly knit community holds. to wield such power is to be responsible for the underlings. to ensure that their meals are complementary towards their continual survival as without subjects, a king is as good as the common man. his powers bestowed upon the wishes of the masses who believe in his omnipotence to create humanly impossible miracles. its the accumulation of a million hopes that maketh a great man, hero creation, and subsequently deity enshrinement. these ideologies come complete with an almost inborn factor of god given charisma. its like birthright to be ruler, royalty does not chooses its path, its chooses you. if u are a man destined for ultimate glorification. nothing stands in yr path than the challenges mere mortals shun away from. to climb great heights, yr fears are just a figment of imagination. hypobolic abstraction of yr innermost darkest secrets. they manifest upon yr insecurities and reduce yr ego to miniscule morning dew awashed in a crimson sea of sun rays. humans are vulnerabe, victors climb above that transient phase seeking greatness unbeheld.
choose not to be last and watch the first go by. you are good as any first, first step before others, if the fall is placed before u even before the step. i guess u will circle in ignominy for eternity. always seeking , never finding. don't say if, vicotrs bet against the if, we contemplate the ifs.
my headache is killing me... softly n silently
never an ever
" why does it hurt so bad, why do i feel so sad.." yes the physical trauma endured from the marathon makes me cringe with every step after crossing the finishing line. Wouldn't it be great for all the pain n fatigue to just go "poof" now that's a good finisher's reward.
recently i broached the subject of getting to know someone better via the phone and was rejected flatly. i consulted a bevy of aunt agonies and the results came to nought. the funny thing is that i feel bad too. its only a friend, perhaps the early signs of a crush, but definitely a friend. this i hypothesize as i wld never like someone unless i knew the person personally. there are exceptions, like gwyneth paltrow and uma thurman. regarding these two, please show yrself through my front door as it has been left open far too long inviting unexpected guests.
whats' the meaning behind getting together through unplanned processes where our common interests brings us together to interact and commingle. Its like if i don't see a shooting star today, i have got no reason to step out of my house coz the stars ain't aligned. its hard for me to prescribe to such notions and even harder so as i had never encountered someone like that. IT GOT ME DUMBFOUNDED.
Its just a girl afterall, not entirely worthy of my undevoted attention whatsoever. this reminds me of the "fan jian" complex that many men suffer from. the more they can't reach, the more they want to get. its chasing the distant dream, the idealistic triumph over the fire breathing dragon with the one swing of the excalibur. its the trojan horse that seems perfectly innocuous that brings the downfall of a guarded state. its me trying to win you over, never ever.
its just a friend.
next up, i kinda like the idea of the cup cake bubble inflating in our very shores. they are exorbitantly priced and justifiably so with the intricate details paid to ensure that they look like ones that got sifted out of a victorian tea party. very pretty and immaculately thought of (baked of rather?)
for all fellow foodies , please check out this website aptly titled CCUP. the website takes an idiot to fumble up. the accompanying musical score with its appealing graphics wld find good company amongst the largely female shopping crowd. (lace and flowers and PINK~) they give a brief history and descriptions of the cup cakes. all the above weren't important except that the site sirens with gay vibes. so u know yr cup cakes come with extra TLC ;)
here goes : http://www.c-cup.biz/
this is courtesy of grace aka shopping queen whom is actually sleeping queen
my next musing for the day is about happy feet, i WANT TO WATCH THIS SHOW LA, CAN U SENSE MY FRUSTRATION FROM THE SUBTLE TONE OF MY VOICE> I KNOW ITS DAMN CUTE N I WANT TO WATCH IT CAN> BUT NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH IT WITH ME> I AM SUCH A LOSER.
that actually feels better, all that for a penguin :) better than for a woman :) :)
i decided to steer clear of woman trouble as times like this requires a calm mind. sobriety is acheived thru rigorous meditation and abstinence from the pleasures of the world. OMMMMMMMMM
i am only blogging as i am feeling grouchy. its an outlet :)
later
coming to an end...
hi to all who peruse these stately affairs, i'll be here but never nearer. my mind is a trap door that shuts on unsuspecting notions of pristine purity. i am the fresh chalk that screeches the first warnings of impending doom. i am the the man who wants to be loved and love. so tell me, why is that all so difficult.
rather than be nice, i wish u to be cut throat, rather than a friend, i rather u banish me forever, rather than say maybe, i rather u say never, rather than hope, please drown me in sorrow.
its hard not to be a pessimist when it comes to the L word.
laughter was never the best medicine but the best concealer of wounds gone sour from raw, hurt mangled soul drained cold. i am not even making sense now.
i have the right to
i am hurt.
one third to go
its always the elusive girl that causes yr senses to go haywire. major reroute in yr plans to focus as it seems that nothing squeezes past the narrowest canals of the mind other than the gondola of love. venetian romantics aside, its what i don't get that kills me. my latest fave word comes aptly : eviscerate. I wish i do not always have crushes on all the wrong ppl (e.g. ppl who are taken, kooky and self centred) why can't heaven bestow upon me a person with a decent sense of humour and lotsa of TLc for me. as macho as i may be , my inner soul runs clockwork a la the new 007, craig daniels. You can have whatever that is left of me, whatever is left, that is not torn apart ... and so i vaguely remember. Its really worth more than a watch, the newest bond is the unheralded champion of lost causes in the world of espionage. it portrays an extremely realistic view of a man sloughing it out for her majesty despite the power she wields these days is nothing more than making tea time a grand affair.
migraine.... my head is like a ticking time bomb every time i anticipate a sms. i cringe, cower and cover myself in sheets of deceit that someday love will land softly and gently on my palm like a dove from heaven.
got to go now
for now
whatever is left of me... reminds me of great expectations... this is my heart, can u feel it, it is damaged. something along the lines, my memory works better than a toad with a chip implanted... still croaky :)
commitment
girl a girl b girl c
humans , not mere digits on my equation of unsuccessful dating and unrequited love stories.
I think i am an issue with commitment and loneliness.
i can;t cope with either , the bipolar ends of my frigid resolution towards independence and solidarity.
I crave for companionship and yet i relish the company of legions. to not rely on one and dangle on many. what am i? some cheap ride or scavenging mite that hops on to the bus towards the next city of bright lights. It ain't exactly aurora borealis out the window painting the mind scapes of my future me. its the grim reality of my failure to be one with myself. To stand tall and stand firm with every decision i make. to make things worth doing done. to climb the k2 and not fall .
Its watergate minus the floods, its ain't the prestidge , it's even not abt the money.
Its just some sweet ol' loving, I just need someone to shower love on me. Undying, selfless, unconditional love.
and so i barfed at the prospects of such optimism
