Faith

Sheesh, for the last few weeks I had nothing to say about missing my dad, and now I can't stop!

Today was so a gorgeous day, and since Jeremy only had minimal homework, we headed to the park. We took our picnic blanket, some sports equipment and I of course took a book! Although I'll admit I was only about to read about two sentences. Later though, we had to run a few errands and both boys, exhausted from the sunshine, fell asleep in the car and so while Jeremy ran in, I was able to read a bit in the car. The chapter I'm into right now is five scriptures to help you strengthen your faith. Who wouldn't want that!?

I love how he starts off this chapter, he says

" ...the scriptures themselves may not strengthen your faith, but being faithful to what they teach, does. In other words, faith cannot be separate from faithfulness." He then goes goes on and starts the first chapter with the scripture "How is it done? ....Because of thy faith in Christ." (Enos 1:7-8) I won't go into too much detail about this chapter. It's pretty lengthy and has a ton of scriptural references. I will say though, that he talks a lot about Christ's miracles and how when we have faith in CHRIST, all things are possible. More specifically (and to skip ahead to the point of this post) he mentions the story of the man ill with palsy and how when Christ heals him, he first blesses him that his faith hath made him whole. THEN.. he told him to raise up and be healed. He did this specifically because he wanted those who doubted to know that he could heal our souls, not just our bodies. Christ could only heal the bodies, and raise the dead of those who it was the will of the Father. This isn't really something that I had thought about before. I think that often we get caught up in the 'miracle' and fail to realize that Heaven Father is still behind it all. It was HIS will, and Christ followed through to make it happen. Interesting to think of it like that.

So how does this have to do with my dad? After all, he wasn't "healed".

John Bytheway says,

"A note of caution: Faith is not willing our own desires into existence. That would be exercising faith in what we want. For example, many of us have experienced the death of a loved one and have concluded that if we'd only had more faith, the loved one could have been healed. But again, that is faith in what we want to happen, not faith in Christ and what he, in his wisdom, wants or allows to happen."

"Jesus taught, "And again, it shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed. (D&C 42:48)

Remember in Luke 22:42 it says, "Not my will, but thine, be done."

*When Times Are Tough, by John Bytheway

It Led Me Here to This

I love Darius Rucker. If you haven't listened to his music, you should!

One of my favorite songs about my relationship with Jeremy used to be Rascal Flatts, God Bless the Broken Road. It was so perfect at the time, because right before Jeremy and I started dating, we were both in pretty serious relationships that we thought would lead to marriage. Then for one reason or another things didn't work out, we both ended up moving to Utah, started dating and then four months later we were married. Every one around us saw it but us. Most of my friends weren't even surprised by the news, it was more of a "I told you so" kind of thing. The lyrics to that song were very appropriate for us. We truly were lead down broken roads to each other! I believe that.

But now Darius Rucker has that song topped!

I have to change the lyrics a bit, since I'm female...so my version goes like this...

Got a baby boyl sleeping in my bedroom
And his daddy laughing in my arms
There's the sound of rain on the rooftop
And the game's about to start

I don't really know how I got here
But I'm sure glad that I did
And it's crazy to think that one little thing
Could've changed all of it

Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned
Maybe that's why I'm such, such a lucky woman

(Chorus)
For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the boys that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to
This

Like the boy that I loved in high school
Who said he could do better
Or that college I wanted to go to
'Til I got that letter

All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I'd never get through
And the moment I almost gave up
All lead me here to you

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now it all makes perfect sense

Repeat Chorus

How I cried when my daddy passed away
But now I've got an angel looking out for me today
So nothing's a mistake

Repeat Chorus

It led me here to
This

In conjunction with my previous post, I think that THIS is the perfect "tribute" to my dad. To be in a loving marriage with two wonderful little boys. I know that he couldn't be more proud or happy for all that I have accomplished. I know that he was okay passing on into the next life leaving me in Jeremy's care. What more could a girl ask for?

One Year and Sixteen Days

The year anniversary of my dads death has come and gone. By sixteen days. But who's counting. The week leading up to this date was difficult for me. I felt like I wouldn't be able to cope with the day, and given that it was also Jeremy's first day back to school after a month long break, I just knew the kids were going to give me trouble. The week leading up was very emotional. I had so many different thoughts running through my head, and I never stopped to write any of them down. I don't know, maybe I feel like I write too much about how much I miss him. That it's always the same story in the different words. Maybe I just didn't feel like writing, I honestly don't remember. I do know that I had planned on writing a tribute of some sort. Something to at least acknowledge him. But that Wednesdays came and went I never did that either. Possibly because I couldn't find words adequate enough. Or possibly because they day wasn't as hard as I thought it would be?

I emailed my aunt, and sent a text to my brother. Turns out my aunt and her good friend Cathy took half the day off work and went to sushi and a movie. Two of my dad's favorite things! Billy was having a hard day, so we decided that we would all have root beer floats...with IBC root beer. And so that is just what we did. Jeremy and the boys and I headed to the store. Billy and his girlfriend did too. And around 10:00 we all ate root beer floats honoring our dad. It was simple and perfect.

I haven't really thought much more about it since then. But then today for whatever reason, I started missing him. I'm having a personal issue that I would love to talk to him about. I know he's there for me in the spirit world, but hearing his voice would be nice. So today I climbed up to the top shelf of my closet and got down my "file" where I've gathered important papers and cards and things from my dads room and funerals. I read over the funeral programs and shed some tears. Read some of the cards that dear friends sent to me when they didn't know what else to say. And then I read through his Patriarchal Blessing. There was one line that really hit me that said that he would live a long life. Long enough to see his children grow up in the church and to call him blessed. That really hit me. I'm active in the church. My brother currently isn't, but I have faith that he will be again one day soon. But the part where we will called him blessed!? Most definitely. He was a blessed man. He raised two children who loved him more than most kids love their fathers. He was our best friend. We had so much love and respect for him that I'm sure he could have never fully grasped that while living. I hope he knows now that he's on the other side. But more so that him being a blessed man, we are blessed children for having been able to call him our father.

He was strict, fun, spontaneous, loving, generous, smart, caring, nurturing. He played the role of both mom AND dad for many years, and did it well. People used to give him a hard time about not remarrying while we were young. They would tell him that we needed a gentle mothers touch in our home. But I beg to differ. He was all we needed and he took his role as parent very seriously. I used to get upset when Billy would be allowed to do things that I wasn't. (like go to Knotts Scary Farm during Halloween). He would explain that I was his little girl. He used to tell me that it was okay if I was mad at him, because at least I was safe. I never understood, but now I do. He would call our teachers, check up on us when we said we would be places. As teenagers we were so annoyed by all this, and now I realize that he wasn't doing it to be controlling, but to make sure that we were safe and not falling off the beaten path.

One of the things I loved most, during my teenage years was waking up to a fresh HOT breakfast and fresh squeezed orange juice EVERY day during high school.

My first period was also very memorable ;)

I had hoped to find a poem or something that would say what I don't know how to. But honestly nothing is good enough. The poem that I read at his funeral still holds the most meaning, and so while I've posted it before, I'm posting it again.

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put His arms around you
and whispered, "Come to me."

With tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
and although we love you dearly
we could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating
hard working hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

I love you Papa!

Testing out a mobile post

Lucas' First Talk

Lucas gave his first talk in primary today. Rather, I gave his first talk in primary today. He held up the pictures. I have this amazing book of talks, you just tear out the pages. Each talk is four pages with picture on one side and the text on the back. I figured I would keep it in my bag in case of an emergency and today an opportunity presented itself. He had the choice between prayer and talk, and he chose to do the talk.

Jeremy and Benjamin came in to watch, and I had Jeremy take a couple pictures. Poor phone quality pictures, but something is better than nothing :)



Lucas picked the talk on PRAYER, which was appropriate given that our lesson today was also on prayer! We learned when and how to pray. The little girl in my class gave the opening prayer, with the help of her dad. And then this little boy in my class gave the closing prayer all by himself. Class today was a bit rowdy, and there were some major distractions going on with two other moms in there, and two little sisters. But I'm still holding on to my optimism that things will get better in the next few weeks!

My Latest Project

This is just random, but Lucas cracks me up. I posted on Facebook the other day how we were driving to Kroger when Lucas sees a street light that wasn't working and blurts out, "That street light is out of commission." I didn't even know he knew that word?

At this point he knows what sound every letter makes and everywhere we go he's pointing out letters and making their sounds! He's so smart! Love this kid!

Today while at lunch, (Thanks to Etta we were able to indulge in some delicious BBQ), he was able to sound out....H O T....HOT! Did my 3 year old just sound out a word... why yes he did! What the heck!?!?!?!?!? He never fails to amaze me with his funny smart personality.

So I've decided it would be fun if for 52 weeks I asked him a question a day and took a picture a week. The goal is to compile a 52 page book with 365 questions and answers and 52 pictures. Or in other words, each page would have the weekly picture and daily Q&As. I think it would be fun for him to have to look back on when he's older. I hope that I can be consistent. I'm sure some days I will forget and then have to do two questions, etc. But I'm hoping it turns out as fun as it is in my mind.

Wish me luck, and stay tuned next year for the results!

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire (My teachable Moment)

Lucas is at an age where he is learning how to lie. Or at least not tell the truth.

It's not uncommon for us to ask him a question and for him to blame the cats.

-Lucas, how did you get that scratch on your arm?
-Haley and Gucky scratched me.
-Lucas, what really happened?
-Well, I guess I scratched myself.

This morning, Lucas discovered that one of the semi trucks in his CARS collection was broken. The cab had a chunk missing. Those puppies are expensive, and this particular one was hard to find. I figured Jeremy would be really upset about it. I asked Lucas what happened. Like clock work, he blamed the cats. I explained that he was lying and that he needed to tell the truth. "Well, I guess I just broke it." I thanked him for telling the truth and then warned him that dad will probably be upset. He immediately went to Jeremy, and fessed up to what had happened.

So rather than getting in trouble or lectured about how to take better care of his toys, he got praise for telling the truth. Lots of hugs and kisses. I'll take an honest little boy who isn't afraid to tell the truth over toys that aren't broken any day. I never want him to be afraid to tell us that he's made a mistake or that something got broken. It's just not worth it.

I've written this once before somewhere on my blog, but it's worth mentioning again because I'm NOT good at remembering it. At my baby shower a little book was passed around for people to write advice in. My mom gave the best advice and it's the single most important quality that I wish to inherit from her. She wrote,

"Glue will fix anything, but anger won't heal a broken heart."

Remember my goal for the year, to read a book a month? I'm almost done with my first book, and recently I've been reading scriptures on improving family relations. Really, it's on how to be a better parent. The scripture that I just read was, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased." The author goes on to talk about how important it is that our children hear praise about them. It's good to praise them for things they have accomplished, but it's just as important if not more important to praise them for just being them! This also includes our kids over hearing us talking about them to others. Our children need to know that no matter what their faults or shortcomings, that they are our beloved children in whom we are well pleased.

Barnum & Bailey

Last night we took the whole family to the circus. We bought the tickets several months ago after getting a flier in the mail offering half priced tickets. Even though we're pretty broke, we try to do one big family activity a year. The circus was our one biggie of 2011. But oh what a way to start off the year!!!!!!!

I wrote on my calendar that it started at 6:00. Etta arrived around 3:30, we got the kids ready, headed out to dinner. And then downtown. We hurried to find a place to park that wasn't $20, finally settled on one a block away for $7 (can you believe that? They cover all the metered spots that would normally be free so that they can force you into parking in paid parking lots! It's terrible!). We walked/ran in the FREEZING cold and made our way inside the Bridgestone Arena. That is when we realized MY mistake. The PREshow started at 6:00 and it was only 5:50. We had to wait outside (well, we were inside one set of doors, but it was freezing because people kept opening the doors to cram in) until 6:00. Once inside we made our way down to the preshow where I was certain Lucas would have a blast. I couldn't have been more wrong. He didn't like it at all, and the whole ten minutes we were down there he kept asking if we could go to our seats. We did manage a few pictures though.

The Circus Announcer, Andre

Clowns that Lucas was scared of (but then kept asking for them after)

Worlds Strongest Man

We left the preshow and head to the escalator to take our seats in what we thought would be nose bleeds. Turns out we were at club level and had front row seats up there. Our view was amazing, especially with high flying acts. It was a bit of a challenge keeping Benjamin entertained, especially since he was more than ready for bed within a few minutes of sitting down, but between the snacks and gummy bears, he did a good job. Lucas kept wanting to bounce back and forth between every one's laps, which was a bit annoying. But overall I think he really enjoyed himself.

Some of our favorite acts:

The mommy entertaining two kids during intermission act:

The elephants (some of you may know that I LOVE elephants!!!!)

This little elephant is a miniature one! He's the newest member of Barnum & Bailey.
SOOO cute!!!

Some of the other things that we enjoyed were the SEVEN motorcycles inside the steel ball. That one really got Lucas' attention. And then the other thing that almost had me in tears was this jumping act. Basically a person would stand on one side of a teeter totter and people would jump onto the other side sending this people flipping in the air. They would usually do something amazing like land on someones shoulders and then make it three, four, or even five people high. But then this one guy did it on stilts. He literally did multiple back flips and landed on the landing pad on stilts! AMAZING. That is until someone else did it on ONE stilt. Both feet on one stilt. It was incredible. The crowd was going crazy to see this done. He flipped, landed and immediately fell. He must have had a dozen people there to catch him as he went down. The stilts were probably taller than he was. Can you imagine how devastating that could have been? Also, the embarrassment of being the only person all night to make an error? So he did what he is probably trained to do, he got back up to try again. You guys, you could have heard a pin drop in there. I've never been in a quieter room FULL of people before. And just as he was about to jump again, the crowd burst out into a sea of applause for him.

Needless to say, he landed this second time, and I found myself a bit teary. Lame I know, I was at the circus. But the whole experience was once in a lifetime. I can't really even put it into words.

Benjamin was so tired, that we was asleep within minutes of getting in the car. I managed to lay him down inside, take off two jackets, change his diaper and put jammie pants on him. Please don't mind the fact that he's mismatched. I didn't want to risk changing his shirt. That could be a circus act too, the amazing mom! ha.

I will admit I was a bit disappointed that they didn't shoot anyone from a cannon, or send a tiger jumping through a fire hoop. Well, more than a bit. I was totally bumming on that one. But the experience as a whole was so worth it! I'm so glad that Etta was able to come with us and that we were able to enjoy a wholesome family activity together. I know the boys enjoyed having her there too. Benjamin even started to mutter out what almost sounds like 'grandma'.

Cousins

A few weeks back, our niece Megan and her family drove through here on there way to and from Texas (where she is from). They got in too late for us to see them on there way through the first time, not to mention my boys were starting to get sick, and since her little girl was hospitalized for about 2 weeks with a bad case of pneumonia last year, we didn't want to risk getting her sick!

When they drove back though, however, we were able to spend a few hours with them over at Etta's house. Lucas and Ryleigh were insta-friends. I swear, you would not have known that they had never met each other before. It was so cute. We ate dinner first thing, but neither of them wanted to eat. When things got quiet we sent Jeremy to find them, and they were in the toy closet hiding, with a bag of gummy worms. Lucas, knowing he was busted, busts out with, "We're just eating a couple!!!!" They ended up eating 3 bags of gummy worms (Etta only puts like 3 or 4 in each bag...but still!) and then they found her bowl of chocolate and ate it all! Nice.

They were pretty hyper, but having fun. We left pretty late, and poor Ryleigh was super tired! I haven't seen Megan since September of 2007 when Lucas was just a baby. She had never met Benjamin, and I had never met Ryleigh. It was SOOO good seeing her! We keep in contact on a regular basis, but there is nothing like a real hug and chit chat.

Here are a few of the kiddos saying goodbye

I wish we didn't live 12 hours from each other. I have a feeling these two would be best buds!

More Misc. Pictures

I used to be a blogging pro. Now I'm a blogging loser. Maybe one of my goals this year should be to be more consistent.

One morning while making pancakes for breakfast, Benjamin wanted to help. So we got out some play food, and then he was happy!

Lucas sleeping with the new family pet, Duke (more on him later)

It was only a matter of time before he discovered he could climb INTO the dryer

Middle of the night ring stacking (sigh)

He LOVES his bear towel!

Getting ready to go sledding in the fresh snow

Snow angels :)

While cleaning the kitchen, Benjamin decided that THIS would be a good use of time.

Mobile Uploads

I must admit I'm having fun with this whole unlimited data plan. Maybe a little TOO much fun ;) I'm determined to figure out how to post from my phone, but until then here are some pictures that I emailed to myself.

Lucas loves to help in the kitchen. This nights project was teaching how to make his own turkey sandwich. Such a brilliant idea...now he makes his own all the time!

I guess all that text wore him out :)
Jeremy got the boys pretend BlackBerrys in hopes they would leave ours alone.

This is a picture I texted to Jeremy from fitting room to fitting room. We all got a new piece of Titans gear when it went 75% off last week at Target. This is my new shirt.
(We do about 75% of our shopping for the entire year in January and July when the big sales are. I save money ALL year for these two big events. So far it's always paid off...the saving and waiting that is.)

Lucas spilled the paper punch dots everywhere. Jeremy insisted he clean it up, so I offered the vacuum. He actually enjoyed vacuuming...he MUST be MY child!
(in case you're wondering, I'm not being sarcastic, I LOVE to vacuum. My neighbors sometimes as if I still have carpet. ha!)

This just made me laugh. We were trying to find out where our new News anchor went, and while on their website Jeremy noticed my Facebook profile was on their home page. So is my friend Amy!!!

Family Night (and car drama)

**This post is from ten days ago, I'm just now getting around to uploading the pictures for it**

Last night we had our final family outing for the semester. School starts back tomorrow morning, and Jeremy works all day today. We had about 50 tokens to Chuck E. Cheese that I got for free several months back and a gift card and coupons to Firehouse Subs. What better way to spend out evening out that to do some FREE activities!

...

The first stop of the night was to get my oil changed. Most of you know by now that I drive my mother-in-laws old 98 Accord. I barely go anywhere. Everything I need is within five miles of my house. I've maybe put five thousand miles on this car since I've had it (about a year and a half). And even that is probably a stretch. So naturally I haven't changed the oil in a while. When I got back to pick it up, the guy kind of laid into me about how I only had a half a quart of oil in there...blah blah blah...and I need new tires...blah blah blah. Obviously I'm not worried about how much oil was IN there, because I just paid for an oil change, and now I'm good to go! Ha. And the tires...ya I already knew that. When it rains they're pretty slick. So I solve that problem by just not driving in the rain! Like I said, I barely drive it as it is. I just need to to last me another 3 years, or about ten thousand miles. I think the car will be just fine!

..and yes, I will put new tires on it. Eventually. Just not right now when I don't have money to do it. I like to wait for a good sale :)

...

Okay, so on to our family night. While the car was getting a make over, we took the boys to Chuck E. Cheese. Benjamin was in heaven. He loved pounding on the kiddy games. Jeremy took Lucas and they played the older kid games. We met up every so often. There were tons of little kids in there, and I guess they must not realize that you get tickets with the games, because every time we turned around we were finding tickets hanging out of games. I of course just grabbed them :)


At once point Benjamin wanted to play this game with Lucas where you choose a color and if the ball stops on that color you get a certain number of tickets. Ben chose BLUE/40 tickets and then it totally stopped on Blue! I was SOOO excited. I started jumping up and down, which of course made Jeremy laugh at me.

We ended our time there cashing in our 250 tickets for some junk that is probably still in the car because the kids don't care about it. That's the way it always goes. Lucas just wants an Airhead candy, it's all he cares about.

After CEC and picking up the car, we headed to dinner. I was seriously starving by this point. Dinner was AMAZING and if you haven't eaten there I highly recommend it. I had a turkey with sauteed mushrooms...yum yum yum! Jeremy had a roast beef thing and the boys shared a turkey. The sandwiches were warm and just the perfect amount of food! I could have eaten another one, just because it was so yummy, but really I was satisfied with the amount.




From dinner we stopped at Kmart. We like to browse their clearance section. We ended up getting a new CARS car and a new piece of art for our dining room. They had a $3 toy clearance going on and we were able to score on a video game for the Vtech system Lucas is getting for his birthday. A $20 game for $3. Since there are a couple other cars we've been looking for we decided to head out to the other Kmart. We found one of the cars and hit the jackpot with the toys! We ended up getting a set of TRIO blocks for $3, normally $40, and a set of Legos (which we will save for a few years) for $3, normally $30. All in all I'd say it was a successful night of deals!

We came home, bathed the boys and put them to bed. It was the perfect way to end our break together. I'm actually looking forward to school starting. It means there will be some type of routine back in our days and nights. And once this semester is over, Jeremy will be HALF done with school!!!

What If....

Don't you wonder what would happen if we
treated our Book of Mormon like we treat our cell phones?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we spent an hour or more using it every day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the 'text'?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to the kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?

Oh, and a few more things- unlike cell phones,
One plan fits all
Unlimited usage
No roaming charges
You always have reception
No weak signals AND we don't even have to worry about
Our Book of Mormon being disconnected, because our Savior
Already paid the bill!

-Author Unknown

Baby Shower for Hannah

This morning my good friend Angela and I threw a baby shower for Amy and her baby girl, Hannah, who is due next month. It was simple, we just served soup and had cake, played a few games and visited. She got some cute little outfits and things for sweet Hannah.

My favorite picture from the day was this one of the "FOUR GIRLS". We only get together every so often, especially now that Jennifer lives over an hour away, but these girls are like my sisters.

Angela, Amy (35weeks), Jennifer, Alexandra

This is from April 2009

Angela, Amy, Alexandra (16 weeks preg.), Jennifer

See Ya Later!

Every morning when Jeremy leaves the house, Lucas runs after him and shouts from the top of the stairs,

See ya later alligator. After while crocodile

I think it stems from the fact that Jeremy used to say 'see you later alligator' to him, and we were constantly trying to get him to say 'after while crocodile'. Now he just says both. Every time I hear it I smile.

It's one of those little childhood quirks that I don't ever want to forget. But I imagine that as time goes on, and as he outgrows his silly childhood ways and into a mature adulthood I will.

So for today, I'll write it down.

(And I can't seem to figure out how to get my post off italics..oh well)

Money Money Money (a student loan rant)

Money is always on my mind. Whether it's bills, savings (or lack thereof), student loans, jobs, piggy banks for the boys, or just everything else that comes with it, it's always on my mind.

Last year after Jeremy lost his summer internship I decided that this year things would be different. I wasn't going to be caught unprepared again. Although to give myself credit, I did have a three month emergency fund in place, I had also broken up our loan payments into only eight months, because Jeremy is only in school for eight months.

This year, to be better prepared I broke up our loan payments into TEN months. You read that right, I broke up our years salary into ten instead of eight months. To say things are tight would be an understatement. Granted this year we have no car payment, and last year for most of the year we did. So that helps. We live on several hundred dollars a month LESS this year than last. The wonderful thing about it is that we don't even really miss the money. We're happy and have all our needs met.

Come tax return season, I will replenish my three month emergency fund and if we're lucky maybe even four! Oh that would feel so wonderful.

Anyway the point of this is.... Had I broken up our installments into four month increments, the first would have covered September through December. And naturally the second installment would have picked up in January and carried us through April, and into part of May. Last year this system worked. We never had issues with money or timing.

This year however, it's the 12th day of January and loans are still not here. I'm told that "maybe" they will be deposited on Friday. Is it just me or does anyone else see where that could have cause a major issue with my bank balance? We would have not had money to pay bills, put gas in our cars etc.

Could it be that losing that internship is a blessing in disguise because it taught me a really valuable lesson. One I'm not sure I could have learn any other way. At least not right now. You really just never know, and it's better to live off less throughout the year and to be prepared, than it is to have that few extra dollars each month and then be caught in the red.

Physically Fit

I've said recently how this is the year I'm getting fit in all aspects of my life. Physically I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and over weight. Regardless of my own self image, I've always been in the "normal" range for my height and weight. But recently I decided to check my BMI and was saddened to see that I was "over weight." I haven't gained any weight in the last year, just not lost any. Not a single pound! And enough is enough. My friend had emailed me a Green Smoothie Detox plan. The recipes all look divine. So I signed up for it. By the first day I realized that realistically speaking I wouldn't be able to do it full force. So I decided that rather than trying and failing and then feeling guilty about it, I would just adapt some of the recipes into my daily routine and just over all become a healthier person.

This also goes along perfectly with my goal to get off my thyroid medication.

A starting point, if you will.

So for the past two weeks I've been eating a 100% raw breakfast. My lunch is typically at least 75% raw and then I eat whatever my family is eating for dinner.

For example: (here is today's menu)

Breakfast:
1 banana, 3 oranges and a mango blended into a delicious smoothie!

Lunch:
Pasta with the boys

Dinner:
Salad consisting of a couple large handfuls of baby spring mix and herbs, a pint of cherry tomatoes, 1 whole cucumber, a half of a red onion, and then just to add a little texture a small handful of cheese crumbles. A little organic salad dressing to top it off.

So today I switched my typical lunch and dinner, but Jeremy was working late so I didn't cook.

I'm not sure how many servings are in each item, but if each thing is a serving that is 9 servings of fresh fruits and vegetables. This is how I'm eating now. And while I don't see a huge change on the scale or the way my clothes fit just yet, I'm happier, sleeping better and not having cravings for junk food. Overall I'm very happy with the changes I've made.

Also, it's worth mentioning that because I'm not eating the junk, neither are my little guys. They are behaving better and sleeping better too. I got to the point where I realized that I was teaching them that it was okay to just eat junk food and candy whenever we want. And that is NOT okay! If they were to end up with diabetes, it would only be the fault of my own.

With feeling better comes a better mood and attitude. And that will help me along my journey to become mentally and spiritually fit. It all goes hand in hand.

Feeding the Wolf

So I just totally stole this from my friend Ann's blog. (Thanks Ann!)
This is truly too good to NOT share, or keep to remember. And it goes perfectly with my 2011 total body make-over.

......

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,

inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Motto for 2011

My friend Laura has a WORD of the year. Last year her word was LOVE. She wanted to love more. This year she is doing DISCOVER. I love that idea, but I'm either too tired or too lazy to think of a word that is a good fit for me. Just one word would be hard, since my overall goal for 2011 is to get fit. Meaning physically, mentally AND spiritually. I think I'm off to a good start so far.

So the other night, when I indulged in just ONE piece of chocolate (which if you know me, you know that is a big huge deal to eat just one piece).... I fell in love with the message inside. I've decided it will be my motto for the year. It simply read...

It's okay to NOT do it all!



So I guess if I were to choose just one word this year, it would be SIMPLIFY

Nostalgia

I just got an email from my good friend Jae. Inside was some Christmas pictures of my brother. When I opened them, I was happy to see pictures of my brother, but couldn't figure out the gift.

So I sent him a text message asking him what it was.

His response was "Look at the picture of papa in Japan....the poster in the background....Lynette found it and the Holden's framed it for me"

How stinkin' cool is that!? Not exactly something that I would hang in my house, so I'm glad they gave it to him...he will for sure appreciate it. But really, I honestly had no idea that my dad had kept that poster from his mission. It's fun finding out little treasures like this. Especially right now. Wednesday will mark the one year anniversary of his death, so I really need little boosts of happiness to keep me going.

2011 Time Capsule

Who's with me on this one? What a great idea. All you'll need is a large Mason jar :) Sounds easy (and cheap) enough.

Just stick a family photo in, and throughout the year drop in little mementos from your year :)

Click {HERE} to read the full article

....

....

Ultimate Kindness

Friday morning Lucas had an appointment with the ENT in Clarksville. We were afraid his tubes had fallen out, because his doctor had said she thought they had, and because he seemed to be having trouble hearing. Luckily all was well, he just had some wax build up in one of them and after a few minutes of suctioning, he is hearing fine again :) We feel so blessed that it isn't something more serious, like complications and hearing loss.

...Getting his ears suctioned out...

Also real quick to brag on my boy, as we were leaving, the nurses couldn't believe we were done. They never heard screaming. Apparently kids don't just sit still for this procedure! Once hearing this, we couldn't help but to be proud of our big brave boy!

After the appointment we headed over to Target to scope out he 90% Christmas clearance. I love a good deal! Like really LOVE a good deal. We found a few ornaments for Etta's tree and a few for our own, all for about $0.10 a piece. Steal!

As I was looking, Benjamin was running around being cute. At one point there was an older woman in a motorized wheelchair that started talking to him. She was kind though, not the typically grouchy person. She was teasing that if he didn't go back to me, where I was calling him, that "grandma is going to take [him] home with her!" At that point I just went and picked him up, wondering if maybe he was in her way. We chatted for a few more seconds, nothing life altering.

About this point, Jeremy brought over this toy from the clearance aisle to price check. He was hoping it would have been 75% off, although the price was correct at 50%. (although, even if it was 75% off, we still could not have afforded it.) I stopped talking to her to focus my attention on Jeremy and this toy. She kindly asked if we wanted her to hide the toy in her cart. Jeremy just quickly explained that we typically can't afford toys at full price. He didn't go into detail about how we live on student loans, or how we're just really frugal. Just left it at that. For a minute it seemed as though she was trying to convince him, telling him it was such a neat toy, and it was such a good price, but ultimately ended with, "well when you put it that way, I guess you're right."

I didn't see her again after that. But several minutes later Jeremy had a disappointed look on his face when he told me that he saw her leaving with the toy in her cart. As a joke I told him that she probably bought it for us. He gave me the death glare. But deep down I really did feel that she had. I felt guilty for thinking that, and I can't explain why I felt like that, but I did. I know my friend Laura will understand those feelings because very recently she had a similar experience.

We ended up with $1 in Christmas decorations. We made our way to the front, not giving the toy a second thought. As we stood in line, one of the employees ran up to Jeremy and handed him a huge bag with a note attached.

It read: "To Special People, Enjoy your boys" Jeremy tried to ask her who it was from, but all she would say was that it was from an angel.

As the tears began to flood my eyes, and as we stood there in complete shock that someone we only chatted with for a minute would do such a kind thing, we were both filled with love and Christmas spirit. Our boys are too young to understand or appreciate what a gift that was. I don't mean the toy when I say that. To be the recipients of such kindness is not common place these days.

The toy inside the bag was the Ultimate Buzz Lightyear. Half off, it was still $50, and not only did she give us the toy, but she also went through the trouble of finding out what kind of batteries it took, and bought us two large packs of batteries for it, so that we wouldn't have to do it ourselves.

When we got back to Etta's we couldn't wait for her to get home so that we could tell her the story and then give the gift to the boys. We told her the story and talked about feelings. How we wish we could have thanked her, how I felt a bit guilty for receiving such an expensive gift from a stranger....etc. Etta said that maybe my dad had sent her. I couldn't help but laugh for a minute, because this is definetily the type of toy my dad would say my kids "need". He loved Toy Story. In fact he worked for a digital animation company that was working on stories similar to Toy Story when the first one came out. I remember vividly how on opening day, my dad took my brother and I out of school to go see it! Etta also said that when people look at us, they can tell that we're a happy family. That she probably sensed the love and just wanted to do something kind.

...this is how he smiles...
(and you can see that we don't have a shortfall of toys)

So to whoever you are, where ever you are. Thank you to the moon and back! Your kindness has left footprints in our hearts!

Emergency Preparedness: January *edit*

Okay friends/family/people I don't know reading this blog.... It's a new year and that means it's a fresh start on getting our emergency preparedness ready! It's really simple when you do it month by month. I've posted this list in the past, but this year I'm just going to go month by month and put a little note on my sidebar for you to reference each month if you need.

The month of January is LIGHTING
And this is a big deal!

• Oil
• Oil lamps
• Wicks
• Candles
• Matches
• Lighters
• Batteries
• Flashlights
  

Now the goal is to gather ALL of these items, or as much of it as you can. Remember we're going for a FULL YEARS supply, and please take into account how many people are in your families :)

My friend had a good suggestion to switch out the oil lamps for propane ones since they will use the same tanks as a propane stove. It's a good idea to think outside the box like that because you will end up storing less with the same effect.

Also this stuff is in addition to your ever growing FOOD STORAGE!

My plan is to pick up one or two items each week when I go to the store, that way I don't feel the burn in my wallet all at once. Give it a try, you too can be prepared!

***The oil and oil lamps can be purchased at Wal*Mart in the camping suction***

Ben's Words

As he starts to talk more and more, I'm sure these will become more frequent.

While at the doctors on Monday afternoon, he was being his usual non-talking self until Dr. Woods walked into our room. As soon as she said hello to us, Benjamin immediately replied with, "hawoo". She did a triple take, because she couldn't believe it was Benjamin talking. He often says a friendly hello to whomever is on the other end of a play phone.

In weeks past I was taking some pictures of him and he said what I thought was "cheese" when I told him to smile. In fact, he did it twice in a row and I even called Jeremy to tell him about it. But alas, that was all it was. Twice. Until yesterday. I was again taking some pictures of my sweet boy and he said "cheese" I asked him what he said and he said it again! So I'm pretty sure I can add that one to the list now as well.

More Random Pictures

Found these on my camera. I think they were supposed to go with my last post about the changes we've made around here. I don't feel like editing though, so you get a new post.

(Here is what the table looks like now)

(Our dining room)

(We also redid the table in the hall. Simplified!)

(Benjamin likes to stand on tables)

(And while I've been updating this blog, he took it upon himself to get in the bath...with his clothes on)

New Toys

Jeremy and I got some new toys this week. For starters all of our cell phone drama has come to an end! We headed over to Best Buy last week and switched our service from AT&T to Sprint. They have unlimited everything plans, and for just a few dollars more than we were paying for a nothing plan with AT&T, we now have unlimited minutes, texts, emails, Internet...etc. We're pretty excited about it. With our new contract we both we able to score free Blackberry's. Not to shabby! It's been fun playing around on them, and I can even watch TV on this thing. I have a feeling that feature will be handy during long wait times at the doctors office.

(please excuse my nastiness...I've been sick)

(This was taken from my new phone. The quality is pretty decent!)

Our other new toy comes with a bit of sadness. Sunday night Jeremy decided to upgrade my very OLD very SLOW very SMALL computer to Windows 7. We knew the computer wasn't big enough for "optimal" use, but did it anyway. Before he got started I made him back up the last of my pictures to our external hard drive. While he was at it, he backed up EVERYTHING to the hard drive. When he was done the Internet wouldn't run. So come the morning he called tech support for our wireless router, but while on the line the computer turned off. Never to turn back on. Sad but true, she died. Just like that. I called my brother who gave me some pointer in what to look for and Jeremy headed out in search of a new one. We finally ended up with one by Compaq. It's nice, and it runs smooth. I'm happy about it all, just not the two arms and two legs I had to cut off my own body to pay for it!

(It's so shiny)

With that being said, I'm grateful that Jeremy has had the opportunity to pick up a few extra shifts at work to help to alleviate the expense of it all.

Oh, one more thing. One of the pharmacist Jeremy works with gave us this amazing new printer. Well, it's older, but it's NICE! Big, but fast. The one we had previously is nice also, but we only paid $20 for it, so kind of slow and used a lot of ink. This one will print about 25 pages per minute. So exciting! I foresee lots of printing in my future, but shhh...don't tell Jeremy ;)

(Printer, Copier, Scanner & Fax)

Sickness is Yucky!

Sunday afternoon we finally put in a call to the on-call doctor about Benjamin. We knew for sure he had croup and were hoping they could call him in something. The nurse from Vanderbilt called back, said they normally don't but in a situation where a child is having a hard time breathing they will. Great :) So a few minutes passes and the doctor calls back and goes on and on about how he will NOT under ANY circumstances call in something. Yada Yada Yada. He then proceeded to lecture me on what croup was etc. I eventually cut him off and explained to him that I've been there done that...etc. I know what croup is! Thank you very much. He then started in again and actually had the nerve to say to me,

"Well it sounds like he's survived the past two nights, waiting one more night to make an appointment with his doctor isn't going to hurt him."

I could NOT believe he said that to me! So I replied back with, "I guess you've just wasted both our time." And then I hung up!

Monday morning came, after a long night of sitting up for hours watching Benjamin sleep. I must have misunderstood Jeremy when he left for his doctors appointment and called to make the boys an appointment. Oops. He said that HE did it. So we double booked. I guess worse things could happen. We arrived just before our 1:00 appointed and waited.

Lucas went first. (BTW he is now weighing in at 32 pounds). So he went first. He was being so funny with his deep breathes. Dr. Woods finally told him to slow down so he didn't pass out. She listened for a loooong time, both front and back. And after checking his ears and throat she told him he could get down. The good news, she said, was that he was already on an antibiotic from the emergency room on Friday. Because, he had some crackling and wheezing in his right lung. Meaning.... if he wasn't on an antibiotic to help knock out his illness, he would probably be sitting there with pneumonia. She told us to go ahead and increase the number of times a day he's using his fast acting inhaler to try to tell open him up. Luckily for us, Lucas loves using his inhaler, so that shouldn't be a problem. As for his ears. While they looked clear, one of his tubes had fallen out and the other was sticking out. She wanted us to call his ENT to ask if they wanted to remove it. About this time last year he started getting ear infections again and it turned out that his first set of tubes had fallen out and one of them was lodged in there causing him a great deal of pain. I really hope we can get this taken care of because I can't go through that again!

Benjamin was up next. Same story, lots of listening, and then a quick check of his ears and throat. Those both looked good, and while his lungs were clear sounding, she could hear crackling and wheezing in his right lung too. The diagnosis was croup... go figure right! So she gave him a steroid to help him and an antibiotic to clear out whatever junk is in his lungs. We're hopeful it won't progress into pneumonia, bronciolitis or RSV. At this point I'm so tired I think I would literally die of sleep deprivation if anything else happened.

Because, let's not forget that I too am sick. And all this lack of sleep is making it difficult for me to get well.

Oh, and the cherry on top? Jeremy woke up sick this morning.

Pictures :)

Our beautiful new tree! It's a 9 ft. pre-lit. And it's glorious!!!
Let me just point out that these things retail for about $400 and we found this one at Goodwill and paid $14.35 for it. Can I just say that it was a rockin' deal. When we got home and set it up Lucas was quick to let us know how much he 'loves' it and how the old one was boring and it "just didn't do anything for [him]." Ha.

And lights off. Here you can clearly see our old ugly hanging light.
(and the little playhouse we had to use to keep Benjamin from unplugging the tree)

Benjamin loves his new highchair. And playing with his food.

Lucas has also taken a liking to the highchair... He doesn't want Benjamin to have anything he doesn't have.

Lucas is a Gerbil! When Jeremy was growing up he had a pet gerbil that used to store Teddy Grahams in the couch. Apparently he has quite the stockpile. So when Jeremy found this little stockpile, courtesy of Lucas, we both had a good laugh.
(goldfish crackers and "snowballs")

On our anniversary. Benjamin enjoyed watching a movie with us :)

Benjamin has enjoyed dancing on the table. Here he's just being cute.
Also, this picture shows how big the table is with the leaf out. It will hold eight I believe.

The new table. We've since removed these decorations and added a pretty runner and some red vases. I'm always tying red in where I can.

Our new dining room light. The previous one was ugly brass with five lights that hung from the ceiling. It was HORRIBLE!

Growing up the only New Year's tradition I can remember is Root Beer Floats with my dad. Every year since being married I've attempted and failed. This year, in his memory we had them! Boy oh boy, they were delicious!

1am. I asked him if he wanted to take a bath with no water, his response, "uh huh!"

Benjamin figured out that if he climbs on the Handy Manny table he can get to the trash can (which we have locked behind two baby gates) and the bar. So I moved it to the boys room.

It wouldn't be a complete post with a goofy picture of Lucas