Little Moments to Remember

Tonight as I was reading the usual line up of bedtime stories to Lucas, I started feeling the onset of more contractions. Or so I thought. I wasn't my uterus tightening up, it was my son pushing is body against me. Then suddenly he started flipping or something. I've been able to feel him kick for well over a month now, but not like this! I quickly grabbed Lucas' hand and pushed it down into my belly and told him "that's your brother kicking!" He was just as excited as I was. He quickly began feeling more and giving my belly kisses. So sweet!

*I promise more posts with pictures coming soon! I finally uploaded all the pictures to my computer. I had no idea I was soooo behind!

Sickness = No Fun!

For the past several days I've been practically on my death bed with allergies. I've had things that I've had to get done so I've just kind of pushed it to the back burner. In hindsight that maybe wasn't the best choice. Last night as I had these sneezing spells, I'm talking sneeze upwards of a dozen times in a row, I began to have extremely painful contractions. Now, they weren't "regular" by any stretch of the imagination, so I did the best I could to just go to bed. I didn't get much rest because I constantly had to go to the bathroom and wake up to ... you guess it... sneeze.

...Also I've official reached that stage of pregnancy where I cannot just roll over and get up. It takes all my effort to wiggle myself to the edge of the bed or couch and then inch my way up. (I've also got the wobble down pretty well by now too. Yikes.)

Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling awful, but at least my belly wasn't aching like it had been the night before. Then I got up to use the ladies room. Bam. Another painful contraction. I quickly googled it, wondering if maybe it was possible that Braxton Hicks weren't always painless and of course it says to call the doctor. Jeremy also told me to call the doctor. They of course told me to go to the hospital. Ugh!

I packed up Lucas, with his portable dvd player for entertainment, threw on some sweats and out the door we went. Luckily they weren't busy and I had an amazing nurse. Even more lucky was that everything was fine and the baby sounded great. I was told it was most likely do to the fact that I'm already so weak and sore. Lots of rest and fluids and I'd be okay.

So here I am. At home, not thirsty or hungry and not able to rest because I have a two year old. So I've decided to divert my attention off my aching body and into cleaning. Because anyone who has stepped foot in my house in the last month knows it needed!

Hopefully I'll be feeling better by tomorrow... Probably wishful thinking, but I'm trying really hard to just think positive.

"I Did It!"

This evening Lucas was in the kitchen and decided he didn't need a diaper anymore. He kept laying on the kitchen floor covering himself with a paper towel. I asked him repeatedly if he needed to use the potty but he was adamant that he didn't need to. After a while I was on the phone with Jeremy when I hear....

L- I DID IT!!!!!!!!
A- Did what?
L- I poo pooed in the potty!!!!!!
A- You did what?????????

...We ran back to the potty. He hadn't pooped he had in fact peed in there all by himself. And...the lights were off. The only light toward the back of the house was the hall light. He must have had the feeling it was coming and was preparing himself in the kitchen. I'm thrilled he chose his potty instead of my kitchen floor.

He was rewarded with some gummies and lots and lots of hugs and kisses and hi-fives. I told him that he can have a treat every time he goes potty.

Here's to hoping for the best!

Money Money Money

Oh how I hate spending money when it's not on something I want or need. Like today for example. I had to have my emissions test done twice! Luckily I didn't have to pay twice, but just think of all the gas I wasted sitting there and turning my car on and off a dozen times. Next stop was getting my car registered in Davidson County. Oh my goodness. $79!!!!!! Plus the $9 for emissions brings my total to $88. That doesn't even include the $19.50 I had to spend last week on a new license. And just to think, I get to do it all again tomorrow when I take Jeremy's car in for new tags. The joys of driving :)

Poor Guy

We went to Etta's for dinner tonight to see Jeremy's brother and his family. They're moving back to Tennessee in a month. Anyway, not long after we arrived Lucas just came and laid on me. He tossed and turned for a while then finally settled into a comfortable spot. As the time passed he began to feel hotter and hotter. Eventually I talked Jeremy into leaving (It was already after 10:30). When we got home, I had Jeremy take his temperature and sure enough 101.6 and rising. Poor kid. I have no idea what is wrong with him. I'm hoping just something simple like teething. Only time will tell I suppose.

Today was Good

What a weekend, and it's not even over! For starters, we spent EIGHT hours looking at apartments yesterday. EIGHT. When we finally found one with a wonderful floor plan that would actually hold our belongings, and that was reasonable, I had a bad feeling. I told Jeremy that I thought it might be where our friends Vincent and Alayna had lived and had so many problems. When we got home, Jeremy called Vincent and asked. Sure enough it was. He gave Jeremy the run down of why NOT to live there. We'd heard enough, scratch that one off the list! Vincent also happens to be our Home Teacher and offered to make a few phone calls to see what he could find for us. We were all so exhausted by the time we got home that we ate dinner, showered (Lucas was filthy because he refused to wear shoes) and went to bed. This morning Lucas slept in till after 10am. So did I! And it was wonderful.

We got up and had pancakes and fresh watermelon... I love summer!.... and got ready for church. We were a few minutes late as usual and so we hurried in to sit by our friends. There was just enough room. After we settled I looked up to see another friend, John, sitting at the Sacrament table. He's a new member and so I quickly realized this would be his first time blessing. I looked back to see his wife beaming with joy. She had the most beautiful expression and you could see how proud she was of him and how far he's come. I'm so grateful that I was able to be there to take part in that wonderful experience. After the talks, both wonderful, our bishop got up to speak. He started to tell us that lately he's been praying for individuals by name a lot lately because so many of us are going through difficult times. Now I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure I'm on that list. He reads my blogs and see how much I vent about the frustrations we're experiencing. He probably prays for us partly because it's part of his calling and probably partly because he's a wonderful person and genuinely cares about us. Either way, I'm sure that talk he gave today was prepared just for.

With all the adversity that Jeremy and I have been experience since his acceptance into grad school, and all the complaining that I do about it, had lead several people close to us to tell us that maybe we should consider that pharmacy school isn't where the Lord wants us. It's been suggested that we pray about whether or not this is right for us. I can understand the concern, but.... what they may not realize is that praying is what got us here. I've had multiple blessings from our bishop that gave me the comfort to know Jeremy would be accepted. He prayed so diligently for us. We prayed so diligently for us. It's been a very difficult road getting here, and just because it's not getting easier doesn't mean that we should give up.

He talked about how when we experience trails in our life, the Lord isn't sending them. The devil isn't sending them. They happened because it's part our experience here on Earth. Sometimes just because it's life, and other times it's the result of a bad choice. Either way trials are what purify us and make us stronger. They are an essential part of our spiritual growth and designed to help bring us closer to Christ. He told us that Christ didn't only come to Earth to die for us, but he also was sent to comfort us in time of need. Then he told us a great personal story about how when he lived in New York he was riding the bus home after a particularly hard day. When he got home he realized his wallet was missing. After being angry with the Lord for a few minutes, he decided to do something about finding the wallet, even though he knew it was a lost cause. He prayed and had a clear impression to call the office of the bus company. He told them that he had lost a wallet which was meet with, "Oh are you Mr. Bell, the bus driver found your wallet and it is here waiting for you". He said that as he rode the next bus to the office that night the Lord gave him another clear impression that while He wasn't responsible for the wallet going missing, He was reasonable for him finding it.

It's sometimes the simple things that we try to take credit for ourselves. We got through these difficult times in our life and it is often easy to question the Lord. But when things go right are we giving him the credit he deserves? While I may complain a lot, especially here on my blog, I will say that not once during all of this have I blamed the Lord. I've tried my best to keep a positive mindset and look for the good in each trial. For starters it's bring me closer to the Lord, and really....who can complain about that? Second, it's bringing me closer to my husband. It teaching us both that it's okay to ask for help. That we don't have to do this completely on our own. Ask for advice, ask for assistance. It's okay! This is such a short amount of time and when it's over we'll look back and be amazed at what we've accomplished.

I've been joking to a few friends that it's possible the only way I'll get through this is to write a Thankful Thursday post every day. And it's true. I might have to write every day the things I'm grateful for, because it forces me to look past the things that are hard. It makes me choose to put for importance on the wonderful and when I do that, the hard trials seem to minimize.

Today I'm grateful for the inspiration the Lord gives us. I'm grateful for a bishop who listens and knows just what to say and when. I'm grateful for my trails because they are making me a strong woman, wife and mother. I'm learning patience all over again but in a different way and it's translating into me being a kinder person. Really with all those wonderful blessing, what do I have to complain about?

Frustrated Friday Part 2

Ever since I started writing the things I'm grateful for on Thursdays, and I've seen an increase in other people doing the same on their blog, I've really been trying hard to focus on the positive things in my life. I always look forward to Thursdays so that I can list my blessings and read those of my friends.

I hate that I've been feeling so much anxiety over the stress of life. Friends keep giving me advice (all wonderful) but one pointed out that this is a huge transition in my life right now. She couldn't have said it better. I'm half way through my pregnancy, in two months we have to move out of our apartment, at this point we have no place to go, Jeremy starts graduate school for the next four years and we didn't have enough income to cover the expenses. I just signed on to start my own little business. Not to mention all the personal trials that I don't feel like writing about right now. Life is just in a difficult place. And I just wanted to vent about it.

After writing all my feelings, I felt bad that I had been so negative. I started to think about the good things in today. Here is what I'm grateful for...

~Lucas has been such a good boy. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with me yelling less and snuggling more. But I always appreciate how well behaved he is.

~This might sound silly to some, but my laundry detergent was on sale at Kroger and I had coupons. I saved over 50% on it. Even if we don't need any this week, we eventually will and I always only buy it when I can find it for a good deal. That was one more thing I was able to cross off my list for things I needed to stock up on for a 3 month supply. While at Kroger I was able to get Lucas 3 new movies for $5 total. They had a big box of movies half off the lowest price. Some where as low as $1.99 to begin. I even picked up a Sesame Street one about a new baby. How fitting! Then while checking out, the boy who bagged my groceries was overly kind. He even gave Lucas extra stickers. I see him in there often and he's always nice, but today it was extra appreciated.

~Jeremy's mom has offered to help us with cosigning. So after all my fretting this morning about money, a few hours later I called my husband and he was able to reassure me that everything would be okay.

~I'm extra grateful for my husband today. Well this week! Normally money is a hard topic for us. I've always thought that loans for school were a good idea, he never did. Normally when the subject comes up we end up annoyed at each other and my feelings are hurt. But this past week, we've made a lot of progress. Money seems to be the source of EVERY conversation. Loans, work, rent, car payments, etc. Some how we've managed to stay on each others team. We've been able to morally support each other. Jeremy has been calm, and even though I'm sure he's stressed to the max about it, he's been his normal kind calm self. I appreciate it so much.

~And just for fun, I'm glad the pool at my apartment opened today! I can't wait to be able to take Lucas swimming, get a tan and enjoy the outdoors for a few months!

~Last but not least, I'm grateful that I'm taking control of how I feel more. I'm glad that I seek out the good even when I want to just pout about the bad. I'm glad that I have this blog as an outlet for both my good and bad emotions.

Frustrated Friday

I hope to NOT make this a weekly post like my Thankful Thursdays. However it seemed my day is off to a bad start.

I didn't sleep well last night. This pregnancy thing is starting to take it's toll on my body. My sciatic nerve was driving me insane last night making it impossible to get comfortable. Not to mention I couldn't stay warm.

We don't qualify for the loan we need to get through school without a cosigner.

The apartment that was perfect for us, the one I was putting a deposit on today...it went up in price again, pushing it out of our "student loan" budget.

I'm nauseated. Still. Seriously?

My mom was supposed to stop here last night to see us, but got behind schedule and had to drive straight through to meet with a realtor this morning.

I was emailing my friend expressing my frustration. I just feel like I had my hopes up about so many different things, everything was falling perfectly into place, and then all my balloons were popped. It's not even like it happened one at a time to give me a soft landing. Nope, all at once and I landed on my bum.

Yes, I know everything is going to work out in the end. I realize that. But for right now I'm annoyed until I can figure out the next route to take.

Oh and did I mention that Lucas and I were both eaten alive by mosquitoes on Tuesday and Wednesday. Poor kid has the same allergic reactions that I do. His arms are so swollen.

Also, I had to wash the same load of clothes three times because I kept forgetting detergent.

Thursday Thanks/ 20 Week Update

Yes, I'm combining the two since there isn't much to update on the baby and many of the things I'm grateful tie in.

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First off, I'm grateful for wonderful friends. This week one couple in particular. When we got the devastating news that we wouldn't be getting as much in loans as we had though, and NEED... I called Trisha in a sobbing panic. I knew that her husband had gone through school while they had small children at home. She was so kind to listen to me, even though she probably didn't understand most of what I said though my weeping blubbering mess. She offered the perfect advice and the next day her husband called with more good news. They had pointed us in exactly the right direction and thanks to them, we will be able to put food on our table after all.

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I'm grateful that they DIDN'T change my due date. My sound ridiculous after all the stink I've been making about it, but turns out, the baby is the perfect size, even despite my thyroid issues. With my due date being bumped forward, there would be some concern about his size.

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I'm grateful that I've been nicer lately. Yes, I'm admitting to what a grump I am. Jeremy is constantly reminding me how hard I am on Lucas. I'm always defense in saying that he's happy despite it, but the fact of the matter is, he might eventually not be happy. And so every night when we pray, I ask I special blessing for myself to have more patience. After all, he's little. I'm happy to report that while I still get annoyed over silly things, I'm the mom I used to be, happy go lucky. I will continue to pray that I will be able to maintain that. We just enjoy each other so much more!

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I'm grateful that I found a pair of shoes Lucas will actually keep on his feet. Even if they are BRIGHT. BLUE. RAIN. BOOTS. OH well. (Secretly I love that he wanted rain boots, cause he looks so adorable running around in them with shorts on)

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I'm grateful I wasn't speeding today when I passed that cop hiding on 40W. Someone right behind me got pulled over.

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I'm grateful that I FINALLY after two and a half years changed my license back to Tennessee. I sure did hate showing off my Arkansas license (no offense to my friends there... it just wasn't for me).

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I'm grateful that my dad was able to fix the digital camera I broke a few weeks ago! Yay, now I will have a cosmetically challenged camera to keep in my diaper bag. I won't have to be AS careful with it. Thanks dad!

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I'm grateful that in a few hours my mom will be driving through and I will get to see her and my two youngest brothers whom I haven't seen in over a year. She's moving back to North Carolina and I couldn't be more excited.

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And last, I'm grateful that I already have two parties booked for my new business and two or three more in the works.

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Open For Business

I'm sure many of you have heard me talking about Uppercase Living. It's the vinyl expressions for your home. I finally decided to become a demonstrator. I've had several friends and family members asking me about it over the last few months and so I figured now was as good a time as any to go ahead a make a few bucks!

If you're interested in hosting a party to earn some free product for yourself, here is a link to my website. {Click Here}

Friends and family from out of state are also able to host parties, I just obviously won't be able to attend. But if you wanted to earn yourself product credit and you have friends who want to order, contact me and I'll let you know how to do it.

I will be adding a link to my sidebar so that it will be easy for you to find me. Thanks for checking it out. I promise, you will LOVE it!

So... call or email me (alexandratraylor@yahoo.com) to book your party!

Funny Man Chronicles

While driving around looking at houses the other day, I noticed Lucas had taken off his socks.

Alex- Lucas, did you take your socks off?
Lucas- Yes!
Alex- Why?
Lucas- Ummm.... It's summer.

Quick Cookies

Jeremy reminded me at 11:00 this morning that I needed to bake cookies for two of his young men who recently had birthdays. Nice. Church starts at 1:00. I told him he'd have to settle for brownies since I had brownie mix in the cabinet (I remember seeing it yesterday when I reorganized the 'snack' cabinet. I dumbed the boxed mix into the mixer and read out loud that I needed 3 eggs. Suddenly 3 eggs sounded like a lot for brownies, so I turned the box over. It was Devil's Food CAKE MIX!!!! NOT brownies! Yikes.

Luckily for me I had a wonderful visiting teacher when I lived in Texas that once brought me "cake mix cookies". The light bulb went off. I hoped online and within a minute had a recipe for Fudgy Chocolate Cookies. It just happened to use devil's food. Perfect.

Those are the quickest and yummiest cookies I've had in a while. Hopefully the boys agree.

A Few Random Thoughts

So we think we might have found a place. It will only work if the price drops on it though, it's slightly out of budget. It's only two bedroom instead of three, yet again another reason why it's wonderful that we're having another boy! The only reason we know we can make this work as opposed to a three bedroom is because it's a townhouse, which I was originally very opposed to, however the stairs are very shallow and thus it wouldn't be difficult for me to navigate assuming I have another hard recovery from labor. Also, the boys room is HUGE! Bigger than the master actually and there is a HUGE closet in there. I guess we could make it our room, since neither is a true master. But we think it would be nice to stick the boys in there, put all the toys in the closet and make it a play room. Seriously it IS THAT big!

On another note. I've been thinking more and more about the size of this baby inside me, and the last ultrasound I had. They told me he was a whopping 11 ounces. Might sound small to you, but that is very large for only having been 19 weeks. She said that he was in the 10th percentile. Um hello! I'm starting to feel more and more confident that my due date will be bumped back up to where it originally was (end of September). I can't wait to get to the drs on Thursday. Jeremy and I were talking about all the things we learned on Friday. I didn't realize before, but the chances of me delivering this little guy prematurely are greatly increased. The chances of him having a low birth weight are higher. All these scary possibilities. I know that with lots of prayer and a few priesthood blessings, both for me and my son, that we'll get through this and we'll both go home healthy and happy.

With finding a new beautiful place to live, and marking the middle of my pregnancy, Jeremy starting the process of applying for school loans (thanks to help from friends directing us in the right way) I really feel like everything is falling into place. It's nice to be able to breathe and know that we are being taken care of and that life is full of wonderful possibilities, not only for us, but for our children as well. Today I woke up in a good mood, I'm feeling very optimistic and I hope to be able to continue that trend.

If It Looks Like A Lemon....

You know that saying, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is"?

Well, looks like the big huge apartment close to Jeremy's school isn't for us after all :( The plan for today was to go look at a few more places and then tour 'the one' again and put a deposit on it since our lease here is up on July 31st. Jeremy stayed up late last night trying to find reviews and things and ultimately discovered that it's on Tennessee's buyer beware list. Yikes!

So the plan today is definitely to go look at more apartments. There are a few in Bellevue and a few in Brentwood that we'll look at. Apartment shopping SUCKS! I despise it! And especially now that we really need three bedroom DOWNSTAIRS unit. This going up and down stairs thing is getting old. I'm sure all those who will be helping us move our heavy furniture would also appreciate that!

I'll update when we find somewhere new.

The Results Are In!

I had my mid-pregnancy ultrasound this afternoon. That was the longest u/s of my life! We were there for an hour and a half. I was sent to this place called Maternal Fetal Medicine. The doctors there just specialize in ultrasound and things of that sort. Because I suffer from hypothyroidism, I will be getting ultrasounds more frequently until I deliver. Today I asked what "more frequently" meant, and he told me that depending on how the baby is developing I will be back every 3-6 weeks. Three weeks would be the shortest amount of time they could do it, and six weeks will be the longest stretch I'd go, that would be assuming everything was perfect. But he said that typically every four weeks. I did the math (and by math I mean I counted it out on a calendar) and it looks like I'll get four more ultrasounds. I'm excited about that!

One of the last things the tech did was to check between the babies legs to see if my 16 week ultrasound was correct or not. At first she was saying "it looks like it was right." I told her that 'it looks like" and "it IS" are two different things, and I needed a definite answer. It IS a boy! I'm so glad, after three weeks of planning for another boy, I think the mental adjustment to girl would have been hard. I've already been dreaming out in my mind how I will decorate his nursery. I'm getting very ahead of myself since it's still about 10 weeksish before me move and this little guy even has a nursery. Another interesting bit... there has been some debate about my due date from the start. I've written about this several times. According to my first ultrasound in the ER way back, I should be 19 weeks and 2 days. Today's ultrasound measured between 21 and 22 weeks! I'll talk to my doctor about it next week because that really feels more accurate to me. I've always felt I was further along. And, lately I've been having contractions and I can feel my uterus way higher than I read is normal for only 19 weeks. So once again, we'll see what they say! As far as names go... we STILL don't have a name for this boy! Hopefully by the time he's born we will.

Here's our big 11 ounce baby!!!!

(Those estimates are never accurate)

These pictures are the same. I just used flash on one and not the other. Not sure which will be easier for YOU to see :)

Before she was able to get the profile shot I had to get up and go to the bathroom and move around some. He wasn't wanting his picture taken.

Thursday Thanks

Tonight I'm grateful for a sweet little boy who when I forget to say bedtime prayers with him, gently reminds me.

Portland Strawberries

Tuesday Lucas and I drove up to Portland to pick strawberries. I've been waiting for strawberry season all year! It doesn't get better than freshly picked strawberries, especially when they're juicy and make a huge mess!

We picked up Amy and Ethan and headed over. At first Lucas had no interest in picking, but he did enjoy putting the ones I had picked into the basket. We sampled a few as we picked. Once I had my basket nice and full, Lucas began picking more. We ended up with about 5 pounds of fresh berries! Yum Yum! We'll be back soon I'm sure. And then in July they have thorn less Blackberries! Sorry Heidi, looks like I won't be making it to Arkansas for berries this year after all :(

Here are a few of my favorites from the day.

Busy at work, and maybe a little play

Little boy's paradise

My two FAVORITE pictures!

Picking his nose: maybe he didn't get the memo that he was supposed to be picking strawberries and not boogers.

Crinkle nose: His new favorite thing to do. I'm loving it!

A few from Amy's view: Hard at work, both picking berries and containing two boys for a picture.

19 Week Update

I'm just going to make this a quick one, since I have my 20 week appointment next week. Also, my mid-pregnancy ultrasound is this coming Friday. I will definitely have more interesting things to write about later.


However, last week I started feeling the baby move consistently. It was no longer a here and there type thing, but all day all night I could feel his movements. Then while on vacation I was able to barely feel him kick my hand through my belly. Last night as I laid on the couch watching the Biggest Loser Finale, I was able to really feel him kicking. Jeremy put his hand on my tummy and he too was able to feel the little guy kicking away. It's one of this pregnancy milestones I don't want to forget about.

Here I am at 19 weeks!

As for the rest of the updates...
The baby is now between 5.2 and 6 inches long! That's a huge change from the last time I posted. And he now weighs about 7 ounces. Okay more next week.

Vacation Day 5.... Coming Home

Thursday morning when we woke up, I immediately began packing to come home. I had laundry to fold from the night before. Lucas decided he'd help us by laying in the suitcase.

The Stowaway

I can't believe I didn't take pictures when we first arrived, but I did right as we were leaving. Excuse the mess!

Bathroom, Living area, Kitchen

We wanted to get a few pictures of some of the things we enjoyed while there. The first was the Car wash/ Hamburger joint. Your guess is as good as mine.

Tops. In all it's glory!

Next up was the huge shark hanging outside the Bass Pro Shop. I had spotted it when we first arrived and mentioned to Jeremy every time we drove by how I wanted to take a picture with it. Mine didn't come out quite as well as his did, but that's okay.

Jaws

Next comes the Whaling Wall. It's just a huge wall with a mural on it. But it's beautiful. I guess they want to distract you before you cross the bridge to the toll that costs $2.50. This time we had cash.

Whales Whales Whales

Before we stopped for lunch, Lucas got hungry. Jeremy handed him a box of Kix. He got bored I supposed and ended up dumping the remains of the cereal onto himself. Rather than getting upset we just laughed and went with it. I even went as far as to put a few in my mouth and spit them at him like ammo. Lucas put them in his ears to be silly.

Kix are Kool

Soon we stopped at Burger King for lunch before making the rest of the loooong journey home. Why is that the trip home always seems to be about twenty hours longer? We made a few more stops to stretch our legs and to calm Lucas. And then eventually made it safely home.

Our cats welcomed us home with several piles of puke. Nice.

Vacation Day 4.... More Sun and Sand

Wednesday the 6th started out just as the first two did. We woke up and headed to the beach. Only today I didn't pack a lunch, just took water and some crackers. Sand was getting in our food and crunching on sandy sandwiches isn't the most appetizing thing ever.

This was the first day that Lucas was excited to get to the beach and didn't mind the sand when we got there. In fact, he walked himself ALL.THE.WAY. to the spot we chose, which of course was the same spot as the previous two days. We set up the tent, laid out the towels and headed for the water. The first two days I was pretty reserved about getting to gross in the water or sand, but on this day I just let it all go. I took Lucas and we went and splashed in the waves and I even sat down in the water and let my bathing suit fill with sand (although that part was NOT initial.)

We only stayed two hours this day because we were all starting to feel the effects of the sun. Jeremy had a pretty good burn on his back and Lucas looked slightly pink, although I definitely wouldn't classify it as a sunburn.

We did lots of splashing....

Then lots of playing in the sand

At one point we were all in the water and this couple walked by. I had just started back to the towels and they asked Jeremy if he wanted them to take a picture of us. He told them no thanks. I got the last part of the conversation and insisted that when they came back by, he approach them and ask them if they wouldn't mind. Luckily they didn't and we now have two family pictures from the beach.

Our family

Then Jeremy laid out while Lucas and I ate! That's what we did best on this trip. I'm sure I gained at least ten pounds because I seriously could not eat enough to make myself full. I was in a constant state of hunger. Anyway, we pulled out some pretzels and left over cheese curls from Lucas' birthday party. As they began to spill I began to throw them near by in hopes of attracting birds. Normally I'm not one to want birds near me on the beach, but our first day there a family close, but not close enough, to us was feeding the birds and Lucas was a bit envious. I figured I'd do my best to see if we could get them to flock to us. It worked, eventually. But when they came they really came. Jeremy soon joined in on the action of feeding them. Apparently you can throw food to them while they're flying and they will catch it. It was amazing.

Feeding the birds

We left the beach when I was starting to feel the pinch of the sun on my skin and headed back to the hotel. The pool looked so enticing so we decided to go for a quick swim. As I sat on the stairs trying to adjust to the cool water I noticed a frog swimming by that appeared to be stuck in the pool. So Jeremy helped him out. He was so cute. He must have been cold too, because once on the hot concrete he just sat enjoying the sun for a long while before hoping off into the grass.

Our froggy friend

After the pool we showered and napped. Jeremy fell asleep right as Lucas and I were waking up. So I took Lucas to Walmart to get some laundry detergent (we had free washers and dryers!) and to get some vegetables to go with dinner. My bottomless pit of a stomach needed more than just a bowl of pasta for dinner. While there we picked up a few bags of M&Ms for dessert! Yum! When we got back I woke up Jeremy and we headed to the pier.

We had to cross over the Destin Bay Bridge to get there. And once there we realized that it wasn't really a family setting. There was a huge nightclub right by the entrance. We hurried by and made our way. The wind was blowing pretty heavy by the time we got out on the pier. The sunset was amazing and once again I was reminded of how great I had it growing up living just a few minutes from beauty like this.

Our time on the pier

Afterward, we went to play at this adorable little playground on the sand. I think it is part of the restaurant, but it has public access and the guy that we paid to get on the pier said we'd be allowed to play there. The sand felt SO good on our feet. We probably played there for a good hour before I started feeling sick and Jeremy got hungry. On our way home we once again made a stop by Wendy's for a fry and root beer before heading home to make dinner. I should be embarrassed to admit that I ate all those fries and then all that dinner, but I'm not. Pregnancy will do some strange things to ones appetite. Also while there, we met a family that Jeremy helped out in a very unconventional way. The uncle had accidentally thrown his nephews flip flop over a fence. He meant to toss it to him, but the wind caught hold of it and over it went. Jeremy climbed the chain link fence to retrieve it. Our hero!

Playing at the park

On our way back to the car we stopped by this 'plane crash' in front of the club for a picture.

The plane wreck

While the water was boiling for the pasta we sorted the laundry and headed down to start it. I picked out Meet the Robinsons for Lucas to watch, but it was clear within the first few minutes that he had to interest in watching it. So we went back down and traded it out for 101 Dalmatians. He liked that much better and enjoyed laying in bed eating his M&Ms. He was still awake when we went to switch out the laundry to the drier. It was probably close to 11:30 before he fell asleep.

Enjoying a special treat

I was too tired to go get the clothes and fold them, so Jeremy went to get them and I folded them the next morning while finishing up the packing. It was a little bitter sweet to know it was our last night there. But we had a wonderful time and looked forward to going home to our cats.

The Invisible Mother

I had plans to write a great Mother's Day post and then didn't have the energy nor the wit to sit down and write anything meaningful. Instead my morning consisted of cutting up grapes for the nursery snack and trying to finish up making a pasta salad for a BBQ. My day felt mundane and really there was no hint of anything "special" about it. I knew I could look forward to a wonderful cupcake from my husband at church (The YW did a fundraiser and my friend who is a pastry chef did the baking...yum!) and I also knew we'd be getting some sort of gift from the ward. Usually chocolate or flowers. Instead we got a copy of the new Gospel Art book. Something I had just ordered but that not yet arrived. So now Lucas and I will have our own copy!

Church was wonderful and my day began looking up. We heard from all three, yes you heard me right... three, of our young woman and then from our relief society president. All four woman gave beautiful talks. Next were were serenaded by our wonderful nursery singing songs all about mothers. Our concluding speaker was our bishop. Although I will admit that I missed a great deal of his talk because my son was so anxious to get to nursery and was bothering me by begging the entire time, the parts I heard were heart warming. I'm hoping he'll write a little about it on his blog so I can share with you all. I don't even know that I would be able to do it any justice by trying to recreate parts of it, so I won't. I'll just say that he gave us young mothers a sense of worth. He told us about how important our role is and how when we are feeling down, that isn't of the Lord because the Lord is proud of what we're doing.

Then this morning as I did my morning email checking I had an email from my cousin. The following story is what came next.

The Invisible Mother

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in..

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself.. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.


And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

This year I'm grateful for all the little reminders that motherhood is the most fulfilling career there is. So what if I walked away from a scholarship to school to get married and have a family. I would never change that path if it meant giving up the wonderful son that I have and the one that is on his way here. No degree can replace the degree of love I feel every day when my son looks at me with adoring eyes or hugs me and tells me he loves me. All the sacrifice in the world is worth it! Even if I'm not a perfect mother, I'm perfect to him.

Vacation Day 3.... The Busiest Day of All

Tuesday May 5th was definitely our busiest day in Destin. We woke up early and headed to the beach right away. The sun was shining brightly as opposed to Monday when it was very overcast. This time we decided on taking our beach shelter with us. Jeremy spent a lot of time researching for one that we'd be able to use both on the beach and also camping. I kept my opinions to myself because I don't like reading reviews. I'd have to say he did a great job. We loved having the shade in the hot sun. I especially loved that it provided a cool place for Lucas to sit and enjoy a snack out of the suns powerful rays.

The beach shelter... our cozy beach nest

Once again Lucas was not fond of the sand upon first arrival, and again as soon as his toe touched the ocean he was all about it. This day we were lucky enough to have several (as in about a dozen) military helicopters fly overhead. Normally the noise would be a bit obnoxious, but when you have a two year old who loves anything that flies then this is a big deal.

Cheap entertainment thanks to the military

Also, today I decided to wear a t-shirt while Jeremy took my pictures. The previous day I just looked fat in my non maternity swimsuit and I wasn't feeling very modest once I saw myself in pictures. Normally a fine bathing suit, just when bending over to hold a little one's hands...not so much. So there are actually a few pictures of me enjoying time with my son.

Mother and son strolls on the shore

Tuesday we lasted a bit longer than Monday since it was warmer. But after about three hours we were ready to call it quits. Lucas passed out on the two minute drive back to our hotel and ended up sleeping for THREE hours! Anyone that has been reading this blog more than a few months knows that it's unheard of for him to sleep that long. He normally will only nap for an hour or hour and a half if I'm really lucky. I was even able to get in a quick nap too. That was definitely much needed rest!

Picture of exhaustion

When everyone was awake again we decided to head on out to look for the pier. We stopped at Wendy's on our way and ordered a large fry and large Dr. Pepper for a snack. We were all a little hungry but didn't want to eat dinner just yet. The fries really hit the spot. We were so tempted to order more but refrained. Yay us! After our snack we ventured off to Fisherman's Wharf. It wasn't the pier but we had a great time anyway. Because it was Cinco de Mayo, we weren't sure how the drunks would be acting so we had to be careful where we went to protect our little one from seeing anything belligerent. As we walked along the dock and looked at boats old and new we just enjoy the nostalgia of the little town we were in. It definitely brought back a flood of memories from my childhood when my dad would sail us to Catalina Island several times a year. I have to admit it made me slightly homesick for the carefree days of childhood.

We saw a few fun things that made for classic pictures... cranes on boats, crabs in the water, things of that sort.

Nothing says you're on the shoreline like....

After walking for a while we saw this questionable looking man sitting on a bench with a puppy. He was holding the dog as if he were a newborn baby. Jeremy made a comment about what a great life that dog has, and about an hour later we finally made our way from that location. The mans name was Solo (at least that's what they call him). He is a crab fisherman up in Alaska by trait. You know the kind that you'd see on Deadliest Catch on the Discovery channel. That got my attention because that is one of my favorite shows. He lived in Texas with his wife and eleven children. He made enough money fishing crab to put all eleven of them through college, the last just started but the other ten all have wonderful careers. His wife passed away last year and he had planned on relocation to the Destin area but had changed his mind on this trip down. He said he decided he might go on to South Carolina instead to be a scallop fisherman instead. It was the only thing he'd never fished and thought it might be fun to try something new. Jeremy and I really enjoyed our time chatting with him. He gave us some of the local history and we could tell that he enjoyed having someone take interest in him. Lucas kept entertained by watching the alley cats try to stalk the birds that were feeding off crumbs on the dock. And also by petting Solo's dog, Little Bit.

Little Bit gives kisses

After we said our goodbyes to our new friend we headed the other direction to check out the villas. There was this beautiful and huge building that we originally thought was a resort but found out from Solo that it was condos. The ranged in price from $360,000 for a one bedroom all the way up to $4.2 million for the top floor with the best view. He said they were built horribly and that they're having trouble selling them. The shops were cute though and we had a great time just walking slowly and letting Lucas play and enjoy the new environment.

I think he may have been right,

this does look like cheap construction!

Father son moments

Cool jet skis!

We found a comfy place to sit

A beautiful ENORMOUS magnolia tree...

With beautiful flowers in bloom

Taking time for some photos

After we left the wharf we headed home for dinner. After dinner we headed out to Sonic for some ice cream because I'd been craving it! We took our blizzards down to the beach and enjoyed eating it while listening to the waves crash upon the sand. It was so relaxing and once again I found myself reminiscing about the past. It reminded of of laying on my moms bed with the patio door open listening to the ocean at night. It truly is one of the most peaceful sounds there is. (Right up there with silence if you're a parent..haha). For a moment I could understand why people pay the high prices they do to live so close to the water.

When we left the beach for the night, we headed back to the hotel and rented a movie from the front desk. Lucas picked out Ratatouille, a really cute film if you haven't seen it. He fell asleep watching it, and soon so did I. Although this night my rest wasn't all that wonderful. I couldn't get comfortable and all night like I was having contractions.

Vacation Day 2.... The Beach!

Monday morning we woke up, ate breakfast, got dressed and then headed off to Walmart for a few groceries. We got a few things to make some sandwiches and a few things for dinner for the next few nights. We had taken milk and cereal with us for breakfast. After we returned, the boys changed and I made lunch and packed the cooler. Then quickly changed. We all lathered up with sunscreen and off we went to the beach.

The sand there is so white. Unlike anything I've ever seen. Growing up on the beaches of southern California I'm used to coarse sand with lots of broken shells. But here the sand was soft and relatively shell free. We later learned that the sand is fine quarts and that is why when walked on it squeaks. Pretty neat little fact.

At first glance....

We went to a beach that was less than a mile from our hotel. Quick easy access was the name of the game. Upon arriving we unloaded our beach gear, cooler, toys and towels and headed down the stairs. We weren't really sure how Lucas would respond to the sand since he's pretty particular about messes and dirt. So we weren't in anyway surprised when he HATED the sand and refused to walk on it or touch it.

We found a nice little cozy spot close to the water and settled in. Lucas would not under any circumstances move off the towel or touch the sand to play. Here is a quick little clip where you can see how he is using his shovel to play and reaching as far as he can in order to avoid the edge of the towel.

Eventually however, Jeremy was able to coax him into trying it out and testing the waters, literally. It seemed as if once he was splashing in the waves that all his fears and cares went away and he immediately LOVED the beach! What a relief.

My boys enjoying the beach

Our first day at the beach the water wasn't as clear as the second two days. It had stormed quite a bit the night before which left a lot of debris on the shoreline. Along with that came what we thought were jellyfish but that were actually called a Portuguese Man-of-War. Sounds scary huh? There sting is apparently extremely painful and can actually cause you to go into shock. We only saw dead ones, and that really only consisted of the inflated sail. They're so neat looking that you almost want to pick them up.

Portuguese Man-of-War

After the beach we went back to our hotel to shower and nap. When we woke up we went to Target to bum around and look at Mother's Day gifts. We had to cut our trip short when Lucas dirtied the only diaper we had with us. After a quick trip back to the hotel to change him, we headed back out. When we returned to the hotel we ate a quick meal and then headed over to the Children's Place to get Lucas a new pair of shorts. This kid is growing like a weed and we knew they had shorts on clearance for a few dollars and Lucas got a coupon via email for his birthday. We figured we better do it while we could get a good price. By then I was pretty exhausted and so we decided to call it a night.

Vacation Day 1 .... The Wonderful Drive

Sunday May, 3rd we left for our quick but very needed vacation to Florida. Jeremy got an unexpected bonus from the company he used to work for that provided enough money for us to pay cash for a quick trip. At first I was upset about spending and not saving, but the closer it got the more I realized how important this time would be for our little family. We've never had a 'real' vacation before and we wanted to be able to spend this quality time with Lucas before the little one arrives and Jeremy starts four years of grad school. So thanks hun for basically forcing vacation upon me! You're the best.

The plan was to get up and leave about 9am. I stayed up late Saturday to finish a few loads of laundry and finish packing. Anyone who knows me knows that I always begin packing about a week before a trip to make sure I don't forget anything, and typically have lists all over the place to remind myself of what I need from each room. And I ALWAYS over pack. I wonder how that happens????

This go around I've been lazy. Something about this pregnancy has completely drained any motivation for doing things my usual way. And thus packing began after Lucas' party on Saturday. Along with lack of motivation also comes lack of stress, maybe this little one is trying to teach me a new way of life? Either way, not stressing about anything made things a lot less hectic. Although because I stayed up so late I didn't wake up until 9:30. Needless to say we got on the road almost TWO hours late. Oh well. It's vacation and no need to rush anything.

Jeremy was concerned because the weather driving through (un)Sweet Home Alabama was supposed to be questionable. I don't really care about weather so I blew off his concern. A few hours into our trip the rain began. Luckily it wasn't that bad. Unlucky we were listening to the radio and the further south we drove the worse the radio reports became. Unluckily we were hearing reports of Tornadoes and had no idea where they were talking about. Luckily we were able to zoom out quite a bit on the navigation and still not see the cities and highways they were talking about. We eventually concluded that we were about 2 hours behind the tornadoes. Coincidence? I doubt it. I think Heavenly Father spared us that devastation in the form of a late start.

Once on the south side of Birmingham we encountered a bit of traffic. We soon realized it was do to the fact that there were a few large trees in the interstate blocking the road. Just another friendly reminder that it's a good thing we weren't where the storms were.

A few pictures of the damage...

A few pictures from the drive

The drive itself took a few hours longer than it needed to. But that is a long drive for a little one, and a pregnant one, so we made a few stops to stretch our legs. During our last stop at Walmart we got Lucas a new movie which kept him entertained until we got there! That was the best $5 we spent the whole trip :)

Once we finally arrived in Destin, after an unexpected toll of $2.50 (oh and did I mention we don't carry cash on vacation..ya that was fun), we couldn't find out hotel. The main road there is labeled West to the right and East to the left. Our address was something West and so naturally we turned right. After a while of driving back and forth along the same strip I finally realized that we were driving West and that the address on one side of the street were East address and the other side of the street were West addresses. We turned around and within a few minutes we found our hotel. Jeremy chose the Candlewood Suites because he got an amazing deal and because we would have a full size kitchen in our room. In theory we could buy a few groceries and save money on not eating out. That plan was more than a success. In fact we even had a few dollars left over in our food budget for a few french fry runs and even a late night trip to Sonic for ice cream!

We checked in and headed to our room. The room was beautiful. The beds were amazing. We were more than thrilled to finally be there and I'm pretty sure Lucas agreed. We spent some time jumping on the beds and then settled in for the night. That was the best nights rest I've had in a while.

Jumping on the Beds

Happy 2nd Birthday, Lucas!

Saturday May, 2nd was Lucas' 2nd birthday. I can't believe how quickly the last two years have flown by. All to quickly our little one has gone from a tiny helpless infant to a very independent talkative, hyper toddler. It's been such a joy to witness his transformation into his own little person.

We wanted to throw him a little birthday party with just a few friends so it wouldn't be overwhelming for him, (or let's face it...ME) and settled on having hot dogs at the park where clean up would be a breeze. Then THANK YOU RAIN..... we ended up having to move it to our TINY apartment. I was NOT happy about this. I wanted to cancel, Jeremy did not.

He won.

I stayed up late Friday cleaning and got up early Saturday to finish cleaning. Friday night we ordered a cupcake cake because buying is easier than making when you do everything last minute, and Jeremy was suppose to pick it up just in time for our 10am party.

I'll tell the rest of the story with pictures....

At 10:00 our first few guest arrived. A few minutes later Jeremy left to go get the cake. He took all the guys with him (his brother, nephew, Lucas and a friend). That just left me to entertain (or bore...you choose) my mother in law, sister in law, niece, three friends, and two little boys, who luckily didn't care Lucas wasn't there because there was lots of toys! Also, Jeremy left the hot dogs out the night before, so he needed to get more while gone. After an HOUR and several phone calls not being able to reach him I had Jennifer call her brother who answered and informed up they had made the wrong cake. Jeremy didn't want it and had them remake the one we ordered. I was seriously getting SO annoyed. Nothing was going as planned and I was feeling realllllllly bad that I had people come so early to just sit on my couch and starve. Jeremy finally arrived back at 11:30 with the cake we ordered in tow. Lucas was so anxious for a cupcake that we did cupcakes before lunch instead of after. At that point who really cares right!?

The cake we ordered. It is pretty cute and in hindsight it was worth the wait, Lucas loved it!

Here it is in all it's glory

Pointing to his super cool dinosaur cake

He definitely enjoyed the cupcakes, can you tell?

After cake, we had hot dogs and then quickly started opening presents. Lucas so really into the first few because it was the ones I wrapped...in CARS wrapping paper. As soon as he opened them and realized there were no CARS inside, he lots all interest in opening anything else. Our niece and nephew enjoyed helping out though.

This about sums it up....

But just in case it doesn't, here are a few more

Our friends and family....

Shawn & Ollie (Jeremy's brother and his wife)

Amy, Angela, Jennifer and Stuart (friends)

Lucas, Grandma, Jamie and Cameron (Niece and Nephew)

Jeremy and I. Just so no one can say I never post pictures of us :)

I still cannot believe my little one is two. It makes me glad that we're having another one in just a few short months. I hope that despite my bad mood that Lucas enjoyed his day!