A Rough Day

No one understands the plight of toddlers better than Aunt Sarah, who is known to say, "It's hard to be [insert age here]."

Case in point, Grant has apparently calculated that his play time can be extended by 20 minutes if he gets out of his crib, but doesn't leave his room. The consequence, however, is sleeping on a hard surface for the afternoon. (There is no rule that he can't climb back in his crib, it's just that would be too conformist to the big people ways.)

I wonder what it was that finally made him decide to lay down on the floor. It looks as though he was searching for my parents' cat, who frequently likes to hide under beds. But perhaps Grant simply twirled in circles until the point of exhaustion and passed out in the spot where he collapsed. We'll never know, but it must be difficult for a little one to sort through these sorts of problems all on their own.

They've Formed a Coalition

Toward the end of my shower this morning, I heard a crash inside the bathroom. I opened the shower curtain to find Grant with a stack of 50 scattered blank CDs. "Aargh! GRANT!"

Grant started to cry and back slowly out of the bathroom. Meanwhile, Nicole, who likes to see Grant get in trouble sometimes, came running toward the bathroom and saw Grant's mess. Normally she would have reprimanded him, too, but since he was already experiencing deep regret and remorse, she put her arm around him and said, "Come here, buddy." She escorted him into the living room to play and escape the wrath of Mom.

I wonder if Scott will take my side? Dad? Anyone?!

Two Happy Kids Live Here

Bath time has been restored. Thanks to Aunt Sarah and a box full of "bath crayons," Nicole and Grant once again play cheerfully in the tub together. You ought to hear them giggle.

Unfortunately, this is the "after" shot -- after Nicole has scrubbed and cleaned her heart out. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow ... Getting the tub ready for the kids to paint on a clean canvas.

Nicole's Big Ticket Disappointment

More than anything, Nicole wanted a camera and a cell phone for Christmas. I hunted everywhere for a children's camera that had more than .3 mega-pixels (no exaggeration). I was so happy to find this, but thought it was overpriced. Nevertheless, anything to see your baby smile on Christmas, right?

Nicole and I downloaded all of our Christmas pictures today and the quality of hers was dismal, at best. Even she noticed. "Hey, Mom! How come yours look better than mine?"

Out of 191 shots, these are her best four.



I think she may be ready for a grown-up-type camera instead. You be the judge.

Christmas Bests

We should have stopped here. Easily the preferred gift by both kids.

Although Grant's trike was a close second (for both kids).

All Dad needs now is a matching t-shirt that reads, "Proud father of a 747 pilot."

This picture is actually from last year. Just kidding. But it could have been. Wonder who gave this to Mom???

My personal favorite.

Fun with Guns

Wow, look! A gun!

First Aunt Sarah got scared.

Then Grant got scared.

Then Tommy wanted to scare someone.

Don't leave Papa out.

Guns are for girls, too.

Guns and chocolate.
It doesn't get better than that. (Truly this boy is Clint's son.)

Tummy Time

Not only does my baby sleep on his tummy, he throws tantrums on his tummy, too! If Grant were an author, this would be his guide, complete with pictures of the best poses, to throwing the perfect fit.

First there's the Has-Anyone-Noticed-My-Marvelous-Lungs?! position. This check point helps you decide how to proceed. Do you need to be louder? More elaborate? Try a different pose? Or is it time to stop already? (Tip: Don't stop unless dire circumstances present themselves. The last thing you want to do is appear weak in front of parents. Persistence, co-eds!)
We also have the hard-to-pull-off One-Legger. Adds a nice touch, if you ask me.
Hey, and how about that Side Roll? (Good one, Grant.)

And what would a tantrum be without the Classic Tummy Fit, where you pretend to not care if anyone is looking at you at all and you scream so long and so loud that even you can't remember why you started?
Last, but certainly none the less effective, is the Arched Back. This one gives any tantrum that authenticity you're going for when you're trying to prove your point.
When in doubt about which pose to use, try them all. It can't hurt a thing. Need advice specific to your unique dilemma? Email me at two_years_old@tantrums.org.

*Disclaimer: I am not liable for any punishment you may receive as a result of following this guide. (My lawyers made me write that.)

At Long Last

The kids proudly displayed their "Welcome Home" signs for Daddy.

One flight attendant stopped and told Grant that she had spotted his dad. Twenty minutes later Clint called to say that his plane had just landed and was taxiing to the gate. Moral of the story: Never trust strangers, even if they're disguised as nice airline workers. (My first idea was to make a sign in true country fashion that read, "Who's my daddy?" but I thought people might get the wrong idea about me.)
Finally, the reunion!
Initially Grant was excited to see Clint and insisted he be held (just like Nicole), but in the end, Nicole won the most time with Daddy. He carried her all throughout the airport and she stood vigilantly by his side while we waited 45 minutes for baggage.
Summary
Clint said, "I'm never doing that again!"
Mom said, "Duh!"
Nicole said, "I love you, Daddy!"
Grant grunted (open for interpretation).

A Picture's Worth Three Details

Here's what we learn from this morning's picture of Grant:
1. He has hair longer than 1/4" -- on purpose.
2. It's not blond.
3. He's missing part of his front right tooth. (Gives a whole new meaning to the song, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth ...")

Compliments

In addition to a Hershey's Kiss in our advent calendar each day, we also read a slip of paper that instructs us on an activity to help keep our Christmas season merry. Today's slip read, "Compliment each member of your family."

Nicole asked me what a compliment was, so I told her that it's when you say something nice to others, for example, "You are such a nice sister because you share your markers with Grant and help him color."

"Oh! I have one!" She replied, excited to share a compliment with me. "Mom, you are the biggest mom in the whole wide world."

I cleared my throat and asked for clarification, "The biggest?"

"Yeah!" Nicole said enthusiastically.

Thanks, honey. You're big, too.

It's Our Lonely Anniversary

I'm not the first wife to celebrate a wedding anniversary solo. Both my sis-in-law and my friend earlier this year -- and that's just people that I know! Think of all of the other wives worldwide who have been alone for such an occasion ... tragic.

Reflecting on our best moments for the year, there are many contenders. But which was my favorite? Would it have been one of the bigger events, such as when we finally saw Les Mis? (Or even the time we tried to see Les Mis and ended up watching Joan of Arc on video and I fell asleep after ten minutes?) Or when we drove to Oregon for my grandfather's birthday bash? Maybe when we bought an old camper, fixed it up, and actually took it on a camping trip? Perhaps our vacation to New England?

Or would it have been one of the quieter, impromptu moments, such as driving around the avenues on a rainy Sunday just to look at the houses? Or taking the kids to Memory Grove to play with other people's dogs? Or lying in bed talking until 1:00 a.m. to catch up on three days' worth of activities (since that's how long it had been since we had last spoken more than 10 words to each other)? Or walking to the garden each night to water it and check on the progress of our bug-infested tomatoes and overwhelming pumpkins? Or Clint taking an afternoon off for me to get my nails done (and then me changing my mind and not going after all)? Or maybe it was getting a babysitter for Grant so that Clint could finally accompany me to an OB appointment (and calling it our date for the month)?

But then again, I think it's actually all of the little day-to-day things that I have missed the most over the past few weeks that cumulatively make up our best moments. It's still holding hands everywhere we go (unless we're carrying babies, of course!). It's Clint's pride in opening every door for me. It's sitting next to each other at church, with Clint's arm around me. It's eating dinner together -- no matter what time it is. It's waiting up late for Clint to come home (whether from the hospital or the airport). It's reading bedtime stories to the kids, tucking them in bed, leaving their room together and smiling at each other as we breathe a sigh of relief that we made it through another day.

Big moments, small moments, and little things each day add up to all of the reasons I'm still happy to be in love with my husband.

You've Been Grinched

Here's a cure for the common kid ... as it transpired at the home of a friend of a friend.

One Christmas season, the children were misbehaving and the threat of Santa leaving coal in their stockings didn't cut the job. The parents finally resorted to telling the children that if they didn't shape up, the Grinch would steal their Christmas away. Well, you can't fool kids who don't believe in Santa. So they kept up their naughty mantra all the way until bedtime on Christmas Eve.

While the children soundly slept, Mom and Dad got to work and removed any trace of Christmas from the main living areas of the house. Lights, tree, presents, stockings and all! (It was relocated to the basement.)

When the kids awoke on Christmas morning and rushed to the tree to open their gifts, they were met with utter disappointment. Some of them even broke into tears and admitted, "The Grinch did steal our Christmas!"

After a lecture on behavior, the kids were ultimately led downstairs to their tree and cheery presents. I trust these kids thought twice about misbehaving the subsequent year.

Thank Heaven for Grandmas

You hope that when your kids don't feel comfortable confiding in you, that they'll pick someone who will guide them along the right path. Tonight, Nicole was wandering around G&G's place calling out for Grandma. I short-stopped her and insisted that she tell me what was wrong, since Grandma was otherwise detained. After a minute of serious contemplation, Nicole hesitantly started, "Mom, I don't want you to get mad at me or yell, but I have something to tell you."

I've heard this before, so I urged her to continue, knowing that a five-year-old's idea of a BIG problem is probably a small problem to me. Next she pulled her hand out from behind her back and revealed a fingernail that she had peeled to the point of bleeding. She's been reminded countless times to leave her fingernails alone, but can't seem to resist when they are 1 mm overdue for a trim.

We got that problem fixed only to run into another later ...

For dinner, Grandma fixed steak and corn. Nicole likes corn, but prefers peas. When I informed her that she would be unable to watch a movie in bed tonight unless she ate her corn, she defiantly said, "Well, Grandma will come in to kiss me goodnight -- and she'll turn the TV on for me!"

True it may be that Nicole is spoiled to the hilt at Grandma's place, but Grandma would never dream of purposefully undermining me in such a way. But it's cute that Nicole thinks Grandma is her advocate -- no matter what. (Because usually Grandma is. Because that's what grandmas do.)

Time Warp

I can't believe what a baby Grant used to be. I'm guessing he was about two to three months old in this picture, based on the summer attire. From the looks of his cheeks and limbs, the etiology of his nickname "Chubbs" becomes quite clear.

Hypocondriac

Grant had a rough week. He visited two doctor's clinics and the emergency room within three days' time and none of his complaints required any medical treatment at all. Read on.

Illness #1: Mysterious Peg Leg
At the children's museum, I saw Grant walking toward me calling out, "Ma!" That was the first clue something was amiss. Grant never bothers himself with my whereabouts when he's busy at the museum. As he took another step closer, he fell down. I actually thought he tripped until he fell again. I thought to myself that perhaps he was getting tired and thus losing his balance until he fell a third time. I ran to him and picked him up immediately.

Grant had obviously noted that he was experiencing physical difficulties, but seemed otherwise unencumbered by the handicap. He wanted out of my arms so he could get back to his affairs. I let him down and observed him limp and favor his left leg. A nosy bystander said, "He's just faking it." (Yeah, almost-two-year-olds have good reason to feign a sprained ankle. And like he'd know how to do it properly, even if he did have cause to "fake it." Idiot.) Another bystander practically shouted, "I'm a nurse and you must take that boy to the doctor immediately! You have to leave right now! I'm a nurse!" (I have an idea, how about I make the medical decisions for my child?)

Then I did what any level-headed, clear-thinking mother would do: I called my mom, who panicked, cried, and insisted Grant see our doctor right away. I called our doctor, begged them to "squeeze him in" and we found absolutely nothing at all. No broken bones, no fractures, no sprains. Nothing. Grant still limped around a bit that evening, but appeared completely healed by daylight. My doctor assured me that Grant had hurt himself in some way, but apparently it wasn't anything serious.

Illness #2: Vanishing Rash
Grant woke up from his nap with a red circle all around his eye and a red line that started at the top of his eye and stopped at the crown of his head. He also had a red circle at the base of his neck. I thought it looked suspicious, so I called my mom, who said, "Not again!" She and my dad happened to be in Salt Lake, so I met them downtown for an inspection. Mom agreed that Grant should be examined professionally. Since it was Friday night, the traffic was terrible and our doctor's office was already closed. So we drove 30 minutes to the urgent care facility, who took one glance at him and told me to take him immediately to the children's hospital, which is next door to our apartment complex, which meant we would have to back-travel 30 minutes. (I don't think they should have let me drive him there. I started conjuring up images of Grant sedated, hooked up to an IV, and lying in an incubator. Then I really began to worry.)

The ER staff happened to include the same doctor who had removed the blue eraser from Grant's nose last time we were there. She remembered us and was happy to see that Grant hadn't shoved a Lego up there this time. As we waited, Grant's rash started to spread across his face (which sounds worse), but also turned splotchy. Our ending diagnosis was that this was viral and would probably clear up by the next day -- which it did -- completely on its own.

In retrospect, I still think it wise that Grant was taken to the doctor for these things, but wish I wouldn't have had to worry so much. This baby boy may be the end of me yet. In fact, I thought I spotted a gray hair the other day. Old age is already setting in. The end is near. Go towards the light, Lorena!

A Day with Uncle Denny

Hangars, airplanes, engines, Rhino, Uncle Denny, candy and the tote gote. What's not to love?

Nicole can't wait to spend another day with Uncle Denny.

Star Struck

For the class's big show production, Nicole starred in a play as a mean warlock who sets out to destroy a prince and princess's plans to marry. Over the course of many important events, the warlock Nicole's feelings are hurt and she is comforted by the forest animals and the prince and princess. Their kindness toward her transforms her into a nice warlock and they all co-exist happily ever after.

The children worked so hard on this play. They wrote it themselves, decorated their own sets (see behind Nicole) and designed their own costumes. They must have practiced for weeks! After the performance, the smiles on the kids' faces were larger than life. But no one was prouder than the applauding audience of parents, armed with video and still cameras alike.

Nicole got a good taste for fame because the next day, Nicole nonchalantly said, "Mom, I want to be a girl on TV."

"Yeah, about that ..." I'd prefer if we stick to the school productions. "Let's watch your play again."

Friends

Nicole has loads of friends. In fact, when it comes to friends, Nicole is never lacking. She really loves everyone and will play with most any child (regardless of age or reciprocal kindness). However, it can be said of friends that all are not created equal. Here is Nicole with one of her best friends from school. She and Katelyn are practically inseparable.

God Loves Me

Life without a husband around feels weird. I mean "weird" because it's not normal for a married woman to be alone with her children for such prolonged periods of time. While the "single mom" bit is, at times, tolerable, it isn't particularly enjoyable for any of us. I have to pick up the slack where Dad would normally be around to help ... piece together a puzzle with Nicole while I make dinner ... wash Grant's hair and get him out of the tub ... work with Nicole on perfecting the two-wheel version of her bike ... play catch with Grant. It's hard for one parent to do all of the things that both parents typically do. As far as the kids are concerned, in addition to being left to their own devices (except when we're visiting Gaga and Papa -- thank goodness for their hospitality!), the kids are being mauled with hugs and kisses. It's my way of reminding them, "Hey, we're all in this together and you're loved." Sweet as they are, they usually repress the whiny, "Mom, stop kissing me!" (And that just makes me want to squeeze them more.)

At any rate, last week, I was having an average single mom day. Nothing spectacular was happening, but nothing terrible either. And sometimes, I've noticed, being devoid of the spectacular part can make for a not-so-fun day; it turns into a "survival day" as it were -- a day where we are fed, we are cleansed, and where we end up in bed still breathing at sun down.

But by mid-morning of aforementioned day, the fate of our day began to change. It started with our neighbor inviting the kids over to play. In kiddieland, nothing is more fun than playing at someone else's house with someone else's toys and with someone else besides Mom. The kids were ecstatic.

Later in the day, I called my mom as Grant and I were on our way to pick Nicole up from school. I was hoping that she would provide me with a list of fun things to do with kids in the city that take up two hours before dinner. As I pulled into a parking stall and hung up my phone (with no options yet defined), the mother of one of Nicole's schoolmates waved her arms in the air and motioned for me to approach. She begged for Nicole to come play at their house until dinnertime. Please, please, please?! "Well, I guess ..." With our free time, Grant and I went to the mall (he's a much better shopper than Nicole.)

And finally, as if our day hadn't been sailing along smoothly and joyfully enough, a friend brought over a plate of warm ginger cookies just after dinner. What she didn't know was that I had seen the Martha Stewart segment on Today, where Martha displayed all sorts of ginger conglomerations. I had been craving a ginger-something all day, but refused to whip it up because I didn't want to be responsible for eating an entire batch all by me lonesome (the kids haven't developed their taste buds adequately enough to appreciate a good cookie -- such a shame).

We ended the day by attending a party at our neighbor's place (the same one who had so graciously opened her place up to our destructive tendencies earlier that day).

After our day's activities were completed and I had safely tucked my babies into their respective beds, I laid my tired body down in my own bed and picked up the Ensign magazine to read a talk by one of my favorite speakers, Henry Eyring, entitled, "O Remember, Remember." The essence of the article is that we should find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness in our daily lives. I reflected on all of the people who had served us and shown us great charity throughout our day and thought to myself, "God loves me."

As a temporarily single mom, I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Grant's First Encounter with Santa

When it comes to trusting old men dressed in ridiculous costumes, Nicole is a pro.

Grant, however, is just beginning to figure things out ...

You're leaving me alone with this fruitcake?!

I wonder what would happen if I tugged on his beard?

Is he gone yet?

Why does he keep looking at me? Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away, like a bad dream.

Seriously, what does my sister see in this thud?

He Speaks!

Brother's Turn

After watching Grant envy Nicole's outside time nearly all day, I relented and let Grant go outside, too.

He didn't have snow boots (not yet -- see below), so I told him to stay out of the snow. Yeah, that was pointless. He kept stepping on the snow and laughing until he fell face forward into it. Then it wasn't so funny. He didn't give up, though. He kept playing outside until I carried him in the house -- kicking and screaming in protest -- with red, cold hands.

I don't think kids care what temperature it is. They're just happy to play in the fresh air.

*****

We found these boots in Grandma's basement and Nicole was so excited to see if they would fit Grant so that they could play outside together.

Where Is Your Mother?!

Better than TV

Happy Indoors or Out

Nicole keeps saying that she wants to move to Arizona,
but I think she might be a little disappointed in the lack of climate variation.
Maybe she and cousin Sam can take ski trips together someday.

The Right Size

Finally, a vacuum made for kids. I don't know what he's vacuuming, but he's doing a very good job.

3-2-1

Three reasons to leave Utah and never look back:

(1)Too (2)much (3)snow

Two reasons to smile:
One reason to be crafty (or pretend to be):

Reinforcements

Tonight I was stuck in the kitchen making dinner while Nicole was in the living room practicing riding her bike without training wheels. She asked me to come help her, but I couldn't leave the stove right then.

She said to me, "Man, I wish Jesus were here, then he could help me while you cook dinner."

I thought to myself, "I wish your dad were here, then he could help you instead of Jesus."

Deck the Halls

Grant gearing up for the holidays.
Grant found the Easter eggs next to the tree ornaments.
Oops, wrong holiday!

Grant's "camera smile." Sure, he's trying to eat at the same time, but we're going to have to practice this one -- it simply will not do in the family portrait next year.

Nicole modeling the tree skirt.

Nicole has three ornaments with her picture on them (second-child syndrome Grant has none). She placed all of them front and center. One hour later, Grant colored all over Nicole's face on two of the three with Nicole's markers. Our damage-control department has scheduled an ornament-making workshop to replace Grant's graffiti and also give Grant a chance to deface his own visage.

It's serious business to place your first ornament on a tree. This is the first, last, and only time this year that Grant will be permitted to touch the tree without severe consequences. I still don't dare place the wrapped presents under the tree. I don't think they could withstand the unnatural forces of Grant.

Grant caught red-handed stealing a candy cane.

Grant enjoying the fruits of his labors. This is what Christmas is all about. I remember sneaking candy canes from the tree, too. My brothers (especially the oldest one) and sister always told me to leave the treats alone, but lucky me never got in trouble by the bigger authorities.

All done!
(Only two candy canes short, both of which were consumed hastily by Grant.)