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Ruby
Mia's birthday came and passed, which was ok, because baby wasn't due for a few more days. The weekend came and went. My body had never felt so miserable. Having someone do a headstand on your pubic bone is only comfortable for so long. Actually, it's never comfortable. I was having a hard time sleeping and getting comfortable at night. At the end of the pregnancy, there always comes a point where you feel like someone has played a trick on you- and there isn't actually a baby inside you after all- and this is just how it's going to be forever. And then you wait for, and anticipate, pain. You want the contractions that are uncomfortable to switch to painful, because then it might be the day that your misery is over. Every subsequent pregnancy for me has gotten more and more uncomfortable. Josh came 4 days late, so I was prepared for the worst.
And then came the storm. Ruby is a polar vortex baby. "Ruby, you were born the winter of the polar vortex..." On the 21st of January, my grandpa Wilson's 93rd birthday, a storm blew threw our little town, and most of the mid-atlantic and Northeast US. It started snowing in the afternoon and continued through the evening and then the night. We got a blanket of about 8 inches of snow-- little tiny, dry snow. So cold outside that there's no moisture in the flakes... and when you pick it up it sifts through your fingers like powdered sugar. I took the kids outside to play- after all it was a snow day. We got the sleds and made some paths down the gradual slope in our backyard and the kids had a ton of fun. I was worried that the baby would come during the storm. Just wait until after the storm little girl, I kept thinking to myself. And it turns out she's a good listener.
The next morning I woke to Josh climbing in bed with me- like he does every morning. I didn't have to rush because the kids had a 3 hour late start for school. So I was snuggling with my baby, thinking about him- and how he will feel about another baby joining our family. And mourning his babyhood a little- because after all, when another baby comes... that makes him big. He'd graduate to a big boy. So as I was running my fingers through his hair, and squeezing his little squishy legs, these thoughts were running through my head. And then I felt the tightening, and the pain. And I felt it again, and then again. After four or five times, I decided it was time to look at my clock and start keeping track of these contractions. It was about 7:30 am. After 20 minutes or so of contractions that were pretty evenly spaced and increasing in intensity, I knew it was finally time. Our little girl was coming on her due date. What a good girl. I made my way downstairs to tell Jared. He got that excited look he gets and asked if I am sure. I think so... is my usual reply. Because even though your hopes are up, there's still a chance that it's that mean trick I mentioned earlier and there isn't actually a human inside you after all. So we started getting children ready to head to school, and I started texting my friends to make arrangements for the kids because of the snow delay. I called my doctor, and she said to leave to the hospital "now". This is where my sweet Sam comes in. He's very empathetic- and after I hung up the phone he happened to be nearby. I was working my way through a contraction and sitting on the bed. He could tell that I was in pain, and asked if I was ok. He came and gave me a big reassuring hug. Love that kid. I told him to tell Dad that the doctor said to leave to the hospital right away and he ran off in a panic to the deliver the message.
I had a bag packed for a while, so I just added a few things to it and we headed out. I was so grateful for my good friends. And sad to drop off my kids and leave them. Oh yeah- and I was in major pain. So we made our way to the Stamford Hospital- trekking our way through the salted streets and the fresh plowed snow.
Once we entered the building- we made our way to labor and delivery. You think we'd know the way there by now, but no, we had to ask directions. The nurses settled us in a room and proceeded make us comfortable. For me, that involved setting all dignity aside and donning the backless hospital gown and then being asked a number of personal questions. They checked me and I was dilated to a "3 or 4". Oh good, it really was happening. A glance at the clock and it was about 9:30 am.
At this point, Jared and I are left on our own to "progress". The nurse ordered the epidural, so I was still in pain when the contractions came. They were getting pretty intense at this point- but somehow the excitement- plus the knowledge that the anesthesiologist would be there any minute- helped. We waited about an hour, with the contractions coming at regular intervals and then the drug doctor came. It always amazes me how much better you feel right after the epidural. He did a great job, and I felt uncomfortable pressure when the contractions came, but not pain. Epidurals are a gift. I love this part of labor.
There is nothing like the anticipation of seeing your child for the first time. It's like Christmas morning- and as an adult you don't feel that excitement very often. You've waited 9 months to open your gift-- and sometimes longer than that. You've experienced pain, anxiety, fear, anticipation, and joy- waiting for this little person to join you. The knowledge that in hours you'll finally meet them is truly a great and wonderful feeling. What will they look like? Who's nose, cheeks, eyes will they have? How big will they be? But behind that excitement there's always a tinge of fear, and a prayer in your heart that everything will go well.
As a mother of five, they considered me "veteran status"- I was treated with a lot of respect, and also like I would have the baby any minute. Because of this, my nurse didn't put a catheter in me. So Jared and I hung out in the dim room sipping ginger ale and resting, meanwhile they were also filling me up with fluids through the IV. I, thanks to the epidural, had no sensation in my midsection. So as I rested and talked with Jared- my bladder filled up. Finally, after we'd been waiting a while- which actually felt pretty fast, I looked at the clock and was wondering what was taking so long for the baby to come. I was going on 7 hours and usually it took me from 4-6 to have the baby, The nurse came in and checked me and decided we should empty my bladder. It was very full. The nurse laughed and said, "maybe it was blocking the head from coming down!" Sure enough, about 20 minutes later I needed to push. Jared hit the button, and told them I was feeling lots of pressure. Several nurses and doctors appeared- and sure enough - the head was right there. One, two, three pushes, and out she came. One of the OBs said that I was the best pusher he'd ever seen. He looked about 26 years old, so that might be part of it- it was probably his 3rd delivery. Its alright, I can still add that to my resume someday if i go back to the work force. "A good pusher".
The first thing I remember is the little rolls on her back as the doctor lifted her up. Then I saw her full little legs. She was bigger than my other babies. They set her on my chest as they toweled her off and I looked into her face. She looked a lot like Eli. It look her a few milliseconds to cry, and then she wailed. It was the sweetest sound I've ever heard. She let me and Jared know that she wasn't happy and frowned a few times as she cried. Jared cut the cord and then the doctors delivered my placenta and cleaned things up as we admired our little girl. She was the biggest baby to date- Eli and Josh were 7 lbs 14 oz, Sam was 7 lbs 9 ounces, and Mia was 7 lbs. She was just perfect.
Our hospital is great because it gives you some time to bond with your baby right after you have them, rather than whisking them off to weigh and wash them, etc. Ruby took right to nursing- she'll fall right into place in a line of good eaters. While she ate, we admired her nice round cheeks and perfectly shaped head. We've since learned her head is 25th percentile, so pretty small. She had no cone head because she came out so fast and had a tiny little head. Her eyes were pretty squinty. She had sweet little rolls on her arms and legs. Long fingers. Skinny little ankles. Long skinny feet. Her ears have a slight point at the tip- part elf? Softest skin. Peach fuzz on her head. She was here. She made it. We did it.
Ruby Barlow
Arrived on her due date, January 22nd, 2014 at 1:44 pm
8 lbs 1 oz
19 inches
bald as can be, with a tad of blonde fuzz
A note about Jared. I have the sweetest, most loving husband. He's my rock. He helped me through morning sickness, emotional ups and downs, and physical discomfort. When we had a scare early on about possible placenta previa, he was right there reassuring me at every ultrasound. One of the best things about birth is seeing his excitement-- it reminds me why we are there- and to put my anxiety aside and focus on what an amazing experience it is to give birth. He's supported me in the decision to have each child, and loves and welcomes every spirit that comes to our family. I feel so blessed to have him in my life as a partner, friend, and support forever. I love that man with every fiber of my being, and feel so grateful that he is the man my children call "daddy".
