I seem to be having familial problems. This is the letter that I composed to attempt to start healing the situation. I don't know what to do now. Apparently my father is under the impression that I hate him.
Dad,
You shouldn't think that I hate you. You're my father, of course I love you.
One time, you were talking to my brother about body hair. You said, and I quote, "and then there are the fucking fags that shave it." Don't try to say that you never said that, because it was that sentence more than anything that made me afraid to talk to you. Because, Dad, I guess I am a "fucking fag." It was that sentence that left me with the feeling that you would hate me if you found out. As for recent irritability... well, let's just say that if you loved someone, and then they were torn away from you, I bet you wouldn't exactly be a happy person either.
I wanted to say all of this to your face, but I don't think that I am strong enough. I have enough trouble just writing it down. If you can find it in your heart to still love me then maybe one day we can talk about it, but I just can't do it right now. I have been stressed and depressed and just want to be left alone to try to heal.
Love,
Jeremy
P.S. I really am sorry about the kick. I understand that you want to maintain some kind of relationship with me (at least, I hope you still do), but... can it please be one where I don't have to feel like you are going to do something at some point whenever we are in the same room? Please?
