Haha... Never expected myself to blog quite frequently as I used to for this month.
Guess I muz had alot of stuff to say at tis particular month.
Well, ever had the experience that you have some troubles that you fill like sharing with some1 else? However, those that you feel that you can talk with aren't there for u?
There are some grp of ppl whom u used to share your thoughts with, bt
In the end, you juz kept ur thoughts in you while swallowing the bitterness from the core...
Yesterday, I suffered from a lil blood sugar spike while exercising. Felt really nauseous n giddy. While, after that, I went back to grandpa's...
His sister had juz arrived from the airport. The moment she came in, she and her husband mistakened me as jiayi. I could tell from the dialect, although I hardly understood a word. Until grandpa n dad cleared the doubts.
She cried over the loss of grandma. which brought back some painful memories.
I could tell that there was some efx on dad too... from the look of his eyes that were somewhat red n a lil teary.
Sometimes, i really wish ppl could stop cryin as it would bring back memories, tearing up the wound into the already half-healed heart...
That night, I had a dream. Its seems so true. However, it brought back regrets. This also made me ponder over whether there is reincarnation.
Grandma appeared in my dream. The setting was realistic. A scene in the dining table at grandpa's house. It felt as though she was alive. It made me forget tat anythg happened to her at all. We talked and hugged. Of which, I asked her to please teach mum on how to make her fantastic rice dumplings. She juz smiled. After I hugged her, she said she would give me the number of her parents. From then, I was thinking,''Huh? Parents? Arent they like ancient?''
I somehow wrote down the numbers in a pad.
Somehow, after which, the dream juz faded off... I awoke at a odd timing in the morning as I saw dad entering my room to off the air-con.
Thus, I went back to slp. This time round. I got other types of dreams... until i got woken up by some1 frm ban leong who called me about the it show job.
After the call, I went to the living room and my usual daily activities went on.
A thought suddenly came to my mind. ''Imagination is always beautiful whereas reality is always harsh...'' I went into thoughtspace... Then i recalled the parents part of the dream. Could it be that grandma was being reborned and that was the number of her new parents...?
Oh well, I guessed I thought too much. Bt I do feel better after storing my memory here which I supposed few ppl would come over and view.
I guess this is the second alternative that I have besides sharing this wif others who aren't around. I sure felt like a wreckage.
I can't really share much with the usual ppl who r arnd on my messenger and of whom I don't have a close relationship with. Neither could I share this with my parents. My dad would sure make a mountain out of a molehill and make me tell this to all my relatives...
I guess that would be all for now. At least I have tis issue stored up, I will now proceed to fully concentratin on my final paper tml. Sometimes... I do wish that the people whom I can share my problems with would be around for me. I m gettin rather sick of listening to problems rather than letting others hear of mine.
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Ietoshi
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