SO I HAVE MOVED!
HA! Here it is:
Your Humble Narrator ver. 2From now on I might blog in two locations, just to keep you guessing. Hee hee hee hee
(And yes, I've a paper coming up. I'm really free enough to create blogs. Really.)
[edit] Omg I'm damn stupid I linked my new blog WRONGLY. How bloody brilliant. It's corrected now, so head there. [/edit]
25042010; 12:39am
City love
So I am waiting for my hair to dry so that I can go to bed. (Yes, Diane, I do that too. Except our differences lie in
waiting time. I wait about 5 minutes.) Then I decided that I needed to move my blog.
I know what you must be thinking now...
"HOMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!"Yeah. Like, furreal, yo. I'm leaving about 4 years of my blogging life behind me. I'm pretty sure no one really comes here anymore. And I need a fresh blogging start (i.e. better quality than the crap I am writing now).
(I've been hoping to catch the sunset for ages now, but it keeps STORMING in the evening!)
23042010; 11:39
Old Devil Moon
There's something very calming about staring into the night sky, wishing for the clouds to clear away, squinting in the light of the half sliver moon, searching for shooting stars in a mass of foggy cloudy shadows, hoping that the entire city would short-circuit and be plunged into a an intense blanket of darkness such that there is nothing else, no one else, but the night and you.
21042010; 11:34pm
Night train
I dreamt I was falling from the sky. There was this incredible feeling in the pit of my stomach, I can't even describe it, and I've no idea how my body managed to artifically simulate the physical experience of free falling. Then again, everything's controlled by my crazy mind, right? Some powerful imagination there.
19042010; 11:48pm
the worst jam since...
...People queued up for Hello Kitty?
Yes, I'm blogging on the bus. My life has officially reached a new low. But, there's nothing to do! Except, I could be studying. Just that I don't want to be.
Stupid traffic. Everyone should just
fly. There is so much more airspace than roads.
... Unless, of course, you meet the merciless ashes of an unpronounceable volcano.
19042010; 07:51am
S'EVADER
"I've been searching for a simple place,
Don't know if it exists
There's a sunrise out there calling my name."
---
I just watched
Up in the Air during my well-deserved dinner break. Can I just say,
fucking sad? But I loved it anyway.
I'm writing a paper now on the power of imagination and hope in a prison break. Escapism. I read something in one of my sources about how a fantasy loses its appeal the moment it becomes reality and that to truly escape one must transcend the illusion of escapism.
For the briefest of moments, I understood that. And then I didn't, and then I did again, so... maybe I don't really. I'm not even sure if I'm citing it right, actually.
So because I've been reading a lot about escape and escapism recently, how does one tell distraction from focus? Is escape the focus and escapism the distraction? Is this what the crazy source was trying to tell me, about looking past the illusory nature of escapism in order to escape? Turn your escapism into reality??!?!?! Damn, I'd love to do that.
18042010; 12:37am
il tombe moutons!!!
Non, il ne pleut encore maintenant. Mais j'espere il va pleut ce soir! ): Très CHAUD, récemment!!! (Je viens d'apprendre la metteo dans la cours francais! Apparent, oui?)
Je pense que j’ai... peur. Mais, il n’est pas
peur peur. Çomme... peur de incertitude. Bien sûr, les gens qui me connaissent peut-être un peu de surpris. J’aime la incertitude, mais je ne l’aime pas tous les jours. Il faut être optimistée, je sais. Sigh! Alors. Continuons.
16042010; 01:12am
words
Time is a
bitch that waits for no man (or woman). @#$%^&*.
---
(Conversation on dualists and whateverists - I forgot the term- when speaking to my favourite potential philo major. Our conversation started with "do you see your mind as separate from your physical self?" and mutated into fluffy stuff about souls.)
Dan: "What would you define as your soul then?"
Yici: "I think of my soul as an account in a giant moral bank. After I die, I can either cash out or be in deficit forever. In which case, I would go to jail for eternity, which is like, hell."
14042010; 10:56pm
DANIELLE HAS
NO SELF-CONTROL AND WILLPOWER AND MOTIVATION POUR LES ETUDES. ETRE UNE BONNE ETUDIANTE, C'EST TRES, TRES DIFFICILE. SPECIALEMENT QUAND IL PLEUE, COMME MAINTENANT. LA PLUIE COMME CA C'EST BON POUR DORMIR SEULEMENT :(
On other calmer, less frenched-up things (or, is it actually
more frenched-up?! HEEHEE), I love you Fiona! :) We're going to conquer the world with sailboat paintings and suitcase bookmarks.
13042010; 11:21pm
701th post
(Can you believe I've already got 700 posts? Holy
cow.)
Sometimes I wonder why I stay up so late at night doing nothing. I swore to myself that I'd complete a chapter of Microeconomics after getting home, but obviously that's not working out too well. I feel no motivation this semester, oddly; as if I'm simply going through the motions of schooling for no reason. So I end up asking myself a lot of questions as usual, and (comme d'habitude) I have no answers.
13042010; 12:48am
If you were a sailboat,
If you were a cowboy, I would trail you
If you were a piece of wood, I’d nail you to the floor
If you were a sailboat, I would sail you to the shore
If you were a river, I would swim you
If you were a house, I would live in you all my days
If you were a preacher, I’d begin to change my ways
Sometimes I believe in fate
but the chances we create
always seem to ring more true
you took a chance on loving me
I took a chance on loving you
If I was in jail I know you’d spring me If I were a telephone you’d ring me all day long
If I was in pain I know you’d sing me soothing songs
If I was hungry you would feed me
if I was in darkness you would lead me to the light
If I was a book I know you’d read me every night
If you were a cowboy I would trail you
If you were a piece of wood I’d nail you to the floor
If you were a sailboat I would sail you to the shore
---
My favourite line, right there. Something has to be said about my sudden fascination with prisons. How? Jump from economics to criminal psychology?
I love all the cheesy images here so much. I wish I had a sailboat.
10042010; 11:47pm
QotFriday
The first time I've heard Fiona swear - she was stressed.
(Packing up her things to leave for writing module for which she was already late because she was rushing work)
Albert: "Wait, if you woke up late today, how come you had time to put on make-up?"
Fiona: "... Albert what dyou know about the time it takes to put on FUCKING EYELINER???" (STORMS OUT OF ROOM)
---
Diane: "I'm a Virgo."
Jianqi: "Virgin?"
Diane: "VIRGO!!!!!!"
Jianqi: "Yeah just kidding I heard that :D"
---
(after surprising Kyungmook with good beer and Rocky's pizza)
KM: "Omg I feel so lucky right now... I'm happy like a baby!"
---
(whenever you give guys pizza and beer, apparently, they start talking about girls a lot)
KM: ".. and then I gave her a ride-"
Jianqi: "What kind of ride?"
---
And this last one wasn't really a quote or conversation, just a scene.
(In Holland V and Fiona and I were walking to buy John's beer in the rain )
Dan: "I hate this tiled part... makes the place so slippery."
The next thing I knew, a strangled "WHOAAAAAAAAAA!" was emitted next to me, and Fiona had slid onto the ground. It was as if we were in a bad comic movie.
10042010; 11:15am
Le nuit donne des conseils
Perhaps I should move somewhere else where I can lock my posts. Mais, pour le accomplir, j'ai seulement besoin d'utiliser le français. Then again, my french needs some practising.
Il y a quelque choses je veux parler.
1. J'ai aussi besoin de m'evader. Mais tout le monde sait déjà.
2. Je pense que j'ai besoin de (oui, encore, avoir besoin de. mon vocabulaire est mal) discuter avec quelqu'un sur ma situation. Je vais être fou! Quelquefois, je réfléchis à ce sujet. Mais, il n’y a pas des temps pour de telles pensées.
Et enfin,
3. Je ne l'aime pas.
08042010: 07:15pm
The Unforgiven
After listening to my brother playing Band Hero incessantly (he bought it for himself after turning 24 - yes, the 24-year-old guitar hero), I've rediscovered my old stash of Metallica albums in my hard disk.
I have gotta admit: Metallica is
strangely liberating.
Speaking of liberation, I desperately need to get away. I know I've been saying this almost every post now, but I feel like just a day spent in a completely different environment would do me so much good. Not just in terms of work productivity (which is what everyone keeps talking about these days though god knows I need that to improve; oh my goodness I have no motivation to study at all), but just... general improvements in my Happiness Quotient.
... Perhaps it was a bad idea to disappear to New York in the middle of the semester. Now all I can think of is running away.
(Can I just say that even though these posts do sound very Emo and Whatever lately, I'm really fine! And Metallica has these AMAZING INTROS DON'T THEY?! *headbangs*)
04042010; 11:11pm
My obligatory Saturday night post
Hello, it's me again. Blogging twice in one day! - rather uncommon these days.
So I've been more or less alone at home the entire day, trapped by the incessant drizzle and by the amazing load of work I have to catch up on (except, obviously, I'm not doing at the moment).
Because...? To repeat myself, it's a saturday night and the house is completely empty. There is no way I could do work like that. Wait, what am I saying? Does that even make sense? No idea.
Anyway.
So I watched
Forrest Gump just a while ago. I can't really elaborate on it enough to do it any justice at all, so I won't. I will just tell you to go watch it if you haven't, and if you have, then talk to me about it soon because I am in so much love with it.
And yeah, yeah, finals are in three weeks, paper three is due in two weeks, and I'm spending my saturday watching MOVIES?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!
On other things, I've been thinking a lot about dying these days. I've decided that I want people to dance at my funeral. I'm still thinking of the song though (and I've been thinking about it the whole day). There are too many good songs in the world for me to make such a decision. If you have any suggestions, do let me know! :)
Can I just apologise for my strangeness today. Apparently, you should never leave Danielle alone for too long with a hard disk full of movies and songs.
03042010; 10:12pm
21st Century Kid
Okay. It's a bad idea to put on Jamie Cullum on a Saturday morning, especially one that
must be productive, because he just puts me in such a lazy, contemplative mood that I absolutely cannot do work!
Moving on, I better become an archeologist soon (ref. previous post), for fear my cap reaching drastic depths this semester. Haaahaahaha.
"In this world of overrated pleasures
And underrated treasures,
I'm glad there is you."
03042010; 12:19pm
Où est mon temps?!
Because I am too damned lazy to come up with my own funny things to say, here goes the Quote
s of the Day again (and, yeah, if you're wondering,
all my friends are weird):
QoTD #1:
(Clara giving a presentation on her paper)
Clara: "And so I'm going to investigate how the Esplanade- OH SORRY! SALIVA!"
---
QoTD #2:
(lunch, and John was inspecting the ingredients list on the Hershey's sundae pie he was eating)
John: "Homygod there's like SEVEN DIFFERENT NAMES FOR FAT IN HERE!"
---
QoTD #3 (I saved the best for last):
Jianqi: "Ok! I am going to start on my archeology of economics :D!"
Me: ".. What?!"
Jianqi: "You know... because... I'm starting
from scratch..."
01042010; 11:14pm
"She is."
I'm not sure what I'm feeling lately - is it sadness? Melancholy? Some kind of vague emptiness?
Today I was asked thrice on my plans after university, and I had to respond with my usual cluelessness a painful three times. Although, I think I've honestly grown to accept my purposeless in life. At first I think I felt pressured to find something,
anything, that might indicate a possible direction, but hey. I guess it's just a part of me that I cannot do without and that I cannot change. I like not knowing. I also like knowing that I have yet a lot to find out.
Haha, no rational informed decisions there for me.
On other things, school is stabbing me repeatedly with a blunt grapefruit knife, but I'm thanking all Higher Beings That Could Possibly Exist for the people around me that keep on metaphorically pumping more B+ blood into me.
... I can't believe that I have a presentation in 10 hours and I'm sitting here
blogging about my
metaphorical death-by-university.
31032010; 09:46pm
Ray the Mountain!
Can I stay here with you till the morning
I am so far from home and i feel a little stoned
so can i stay here with you till the morning?
There's nothing i want more than to wake up on your floor
So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks?
There's something you should know
I ain't got no place to go
So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks
How happy it would make me to see your face when I wake
So can I stay here with you till the nighttime
I've fallen sad inside and I need a place to hide
So can I stay, here with you, through the nighttime
I've fallen so sad it's true, now won't you take me to your room
Lay with me in your thinnest dress
fill my heart with each caress
between your blissful kisses, whisper
Darling, is this love?
(Ray LaMontagne - thank you Fiona!)
---
QoTD:
(conversation on how we will both die of boredom as taitais)
Fiona: "If I were to be a taitai in the future, I'm gonna have a lot of flings. Sorry husband!"
(By the way, I love you Fiona Pay! If we're both single at 45, can we please move to San Francisco and get married?)
28032010; 01:05am
QoTD ENCORE!
(the brother again)
John: "Hey! I can't find your copy of
The Undercover Economist!"
Me: "Really? But it should be on the bookshelf!"
John: "Yeah, I know. I searched, but
I think it went undercover."
---
On other things, I was a complete zombie in school today. Between 8am and 4pm, I attended 3 classes and 1 meeting, surviving on barely 3 hours of sleep and only a single meal in between that time. Impossible you say? Non, c'est possible, mais j'ai failli mourir, jusque'a j'ai rencontre Fiona et John. Ils ont sauve moi. :)
26032010; 12:26am
"the excitement only a free man can feel"
Haha, I find it so funny that Morgan
Freeman says that line in
The Shawshank Redemption. (I also think that Jian Qi's weird punny humour is rubbing off me.)
Can I just say: What. An. Amazing. Show. I can't believe I've never watched it before tonight. I am also pretty sure I'm going to watch it again soon.
I have nothing more to add.
Except that I'd DEFINITELY be writing a paper on it.
Right now, I'm just in a lot of awe and experiencing a lot of emotions. Sadly at 1am, there's not really anyone to talk to about it (I guess this is why people have 'boyfriends' - to call up to rant about movies. That's a good enough reason for me.).
This is also probably why I'm blogging, because it
seems as if I'm
actually communicating with other people, when I'm really not. Oh shut up and let me live happily in delusion.
24032010; 12:56am
If I ruled the world,
Every day would be the first day of spring.
Every heart would have a new song to sing,
And we'd sing of the joy every morning would bring.
If I ruled the world,
Every man would be as free as a bird.
Every voice would be a voice to be heard,
Take my word we would treasure each day that occurred.
My world would be a beautiful place
Where we would weave such wonderful dreams.
My world would wear a smile on it's face,
Like the man and the moon has, when the moon beams.
If I ruled the world,
Every man would see the world was his friend. Yeah
There'd be happiness that no man could end,
No my friend, not if I ruled the world.
Every hand would be held up high,
There'd be sunshine in everyone's sky.
If the day ever dawned,
Will I rule the world.
20032010; 02:37pm
Another QoTD:
(because I cannot be bothered to blog anymore, I'm letting others do the talking.)
Meet my brother.
John: "Concert?? What concert did you watch tonight!?"
Me: "Kings of Convenience."
John: "What? ...That sounds like an SMRT slogan."
18032010; 10:23pm
Quote of the day
...
Me: "
I hate Taylor Swift."
(pause)
Diane: "Actually I have the whole discography of Taylor Swift in my iPod. Do you still want to be my friend?"
---
Besides having too many QOTDs to remember and blog about anymore, I'm also facing the problem on how to Save My CAP this semester.
On other things, I had to turn down something fun today and I'm sad about it. And I probably really needed it because I did like @#$%^&* (uncensored: 'fucking phenomenally bad') for macroeconomics.
17032010; 06:20pm
Lost my mojo
I'm blogging because I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because I'm blogging. What? What?! I don't know.
I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm not doing enough in my writing module, like I'm not taking away enough skills to start on my paper 3 (and finish up my paper 2). People tell me that it's the most illuminating module I'd ever take in my university life, but I'm not feeling it at all.
Another thing is that I'm doing badly for it, and the most frustrating part is that I KNOW I am doing badly and I'M TRYING to make up for it. I know that my writing isn't exceptional, but then I also know that for the most part I DO tend to make sense! For some bizarre reason I'm writing like absolute
crap this semester and I'm
really, really, really pissed with myself. I think the only thing for me to do now is to channel my pissy-fit into some kind of useful writing motivation.
...Not working.
13032010; 03:31pm
Withdrawal
When I reminisce about this trip, I feel like I'm watching an old film. The dialogue I remember is broken yet complete to me, the images in my head a mass of glazed over memories that I can't help smile about... and right now, in this moment, I have this overwhelming sense of bittersweet sadness. All we've worked so hard for came together in those 12 days, and now it's over. I can't help but feel like we're never going to be this close again (pessimistic, I know), or work together this well again, and that everything was just part of a larger, irrational and unreal day dream I constructed during one exceptionally boring econometrics tutorial.
09032010; 12:49am
Okay, so maybe I AM jetlagged
So I was very proudly telling everyone who would listen that I have adjusted well to Singaporean sleeping hours.
Unfortunately that's just a load of crap.
Somehow I've managed to fall asleep watching V for Vendetta (this is for an assignment, friends, I'm not that free. But you must be thinking - cool assignment, hey?!) at 5pm on Friday afternoon, and then the next thing I know its 3am on Saturday morning.
I remember rousing from my slumber and wondering vaguely... hmmm.... why is it so dark? Is it night? Is it morning? Why am I not in my pyjamas? Should I even be in my pyjamas? (And yes, www, I do wear pyjamas to bed. They're comfy!)
What did I have for dinner?????? After realising that no, I haven't had anything to eat since econometrics tutorial finished at 10am, and that I haven't actually finished watching V for Vendetta, and that I have an absolute TON of work to do, I managed to drag myself out of bed and here am I am now, blogging at 5.13 in the morning.
Maybe the jet lag is taking a while to set in (do such things happen?! i am definitely not enough of a seasoned traveller to actually know). Or perhaps it's because I've been so driven by assignments and tests the past three days that my body has somehow managed to function on a complete lack of sleep (e.g. on friday morning I had a nice sleep from 4am to 6am).
On other things, I know this is going to sound enigmatic and strange and completely sketchy, but there is a person I've been looking to talk to since coming back, and I haven't had the chance to do so yet. Sad.
06032010: 05:20am
Back to a different reality
"Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And live like it's heaven on Earth."
Cheesy as this quote may sometimes be, rediscovering its simple message of spontaneity amongst the poetic card shelves of the very gorgeous
The Papery @ Princeton just reminds me of how much I am not living my 20 year old (ageing) life to its greatest extent.
So, I know this comes a bit later than most new year resolutions, or maybe I should say that this perhaps is a 20th Birthday Resolution, but for the year of 2010, I pledge to be dancing, singing, loving, and just...
living.
03032010: 03:57am
"WHO WANTS TO GO BANANA REPUBLIC?!?!?"
I'm in Princeton!
It is SNOWING!!!!!
REALLY, REALLY HEAVILY!!!!!!!
(Hopefully I get snowed in here and I wouldn't have to go back next week for the much dreaded macroeconomics test.)
26022010; 01:03am
Long overdue!
(Written on the 23rd of February, 2010, 2.31am, at the Riverside Tower Hotel, 80 Riverside Drive, New York, New York.)
Technically I'd have turned 20 some ... well, 15 hours ago, but because of the time difference I'm only about some 20 years and 2 hours old.
So, yeah. I'm sitting in darkness in my quaint, tiny little hotel room at 2.33am, typing this in Wordpad with 52% of battery remaining on my laptop. Okay, there are several rather intriguing portions of that question (gasp, writing module):
1. Why am I sitting in The Darkness?
Because Suyin, Xiangling and I share a room, and they are both asleep. And, very cutely, both snoring.
2. Why is my hotel room tiny?
It just is.
3. Why is it 2.33am?
Well, New York is the city that never sleeps! And neither will I! Hah!
... Okay kidding. We were supposed to meet to watch Inglorious Bastards on John's laptop in the lobby, but it was all a lie. Instead, I got a birthday song, 20 roses, a cute street sign (Danielle PL), a slice of chocolate cake so fudgy I swear it is just chocolate/caramel with breadcrumbs on the top, and 9 really awesome people to eat it with me. After which, some of us stayed back to study in the lobby. It was ridiculously unproductive.
4. Why am I typing this in Wordpad?
I forgot to ask for the hotel's internet password, because I proudly haven't checked my email/anything internet-related for TWO DAYS. I guess in some ways that could be rather escapist and irresponsible (emails ARE annoying), but heck it, I'm in NYC, and I just turned 20.
Except I was really in the mood to blog, but I can't, so now I'm like this >:( and typing in Wordpad instead.
5. Why is there 52% battery left on my laptop if I claimed I haven't used it yet on the trip?
Well, I just didn't charge it before coming over. Simplicity.
And most importantly,
6. Why am I writing this at all?
Because I'm feeling incredibly, incredibly contented and incredibly, incredibly grateful for having such wonderful people around me, not just here with me at New York City, but all those who remembered somehow and started the SMS spam some 13 hours in advance and I'm so sorry I cannot reply everyone but it really COSTS A LEG AND A HALF to send anything back! ):
Because I just got back from the observation deck at the Rockerfellar centre and standing up there... looking at the neatness of the concrete city grids, the yellow, anonymous windows, the crass, loud, multicoloured flashing billboards, the streaks of traffic's headlights zipping in and out of junctions and alleys... I felt, well, cheesy. Not cheesy in a bad way, but cheesy in a good way. Cheesy in the way that I felt so unbelievably lucky and this tiny bit of pure golden happiness. I dont know why gold, but I imagine that if there were an Essence of Happiness, it would be gold, and I would have had a bit of it on the Rock observation deck.
All this in spite of the fact it was 1degC out, and we were 78 stories in the air, and I had no gloves on.
---
Just another random note: New Yorkers are actually really friendly and not as pissed as people all portray them to be at all!!!!!!! I feel indignant on their behalf.
26022010; 01:23am
