prefectising mr brown

you know a teacher is an adaptable and wise one when she employs tactics which encourage a subconscious response from the student.

havent you ever been awed by how the naughtiest student in your class takes on a responsible personality when she's been appointed the class monitor?

looks like our teacher's growing up...

陳淑樺 夢醒時分

i like this.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html

what enneagram are you

Your Result

recommendation from ayda:

number 1:

You're a Two! Also called "The Caretaker" or "The Altruist," a healthy Two is the best friend anyone can have. At their best, they are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate; an older Two can often be seen as an idealized "parent figure". Conversely, in times of stress or anxiety, a Two can become manipulative, domineering, and selfish. An unhealthy Two will pursue love and affection obsessively. However, as Twos start to accept the belief that they are allowed to care for themselves as well as those they care about they will experience unconditional love for self and others, becoming joyous, gracious, and humble.
FAMOUS TWOS: Mother Teresa, Sammy Davis Jr., Bishop Desmond Tutu, Bill Cosby

number 2:

http://www.9types.com/newtest/index.php

a 25 year old with a 32 year old

m says (11:27 PM):
i am the guy in the movie that likes to keep things simple

shiyun says (11:27 PM):
and im that girl who digs up her own grave thinking she's climbing outta it

totally. out. of. my. mind.

i. am. totally. insane. totally.

seriously. what am i doing to myself?
apart from the apparent suicide, i really can't think of anything else to describe what i'm doing.

it's like a drug. i manage to quit it for some time, and then i see it on a table one day and i'm hooked all over again.
it makes me happy for a short while.
after which i go into withdrawal.
i know i should say no, and it's always just at the tip of my tongue.
but i really didn't want to say no.
like. almost as if i didnt want to forget how the drug tastes.

i need a life.

"it's okay to have a crush, but don't break off too much heart."

i must be masochistic. really. who the hell bothers with a guy that, like huil says,
1. you don't even when you're going to talk to again
2. talks to you when he feels like it
3. doesn't email you.

i am masochistic. well, he's too cute to resist. i need to look beyond the surface and see the jerk in him. seriously. i do.

teddy bear

i don't know what love does to people, but it seems to me that whatever good it does is far inferior to the damage it does when it's taken away.

like filling a person with dettol and then rinsing him out. all clean and clinical and devoid of emotion. eew.

well, at the end of the day, i have my teddy bear.

"i dont draw bricks, i draw shadows."

I'm warning you now, this post is gonna be totally random.

The Korean Contemporary Art Show at the SAM was rather thought-provoking.

There was this piece Bricks that kind of blew me away. What gets left behind says alot. And there's this Neverwhere bit to it for me. The people who fall through the gaps of Life. Not to forget the thousands of people holding up that piece of floorboard. And Soldiers. Funky Music, Infinity, etc etc.

Any-o. I got this bit of surprise when I mentioned that it'd be poignant if we should be allowed to step on that bit of glass. Real freaky. Flipping through the booklet after the exhibition revealed that it was, in fact, designed to be stepped on. woah. I knew I had a connection with installation art.

Maybe the whole exhibition thing did something for me. It was like stepping into a place full of mirrors, the images in each frame calling for me, speaking from somewhere inside me. And now I've got so many voices inside my head, and trapped. Well, maybe I'd rather they stay, but there's this whole ripple effect.

The 25 year old conversations started. The quarter-life discussions. Reflection on my rebellious stage, which freaked JT out a little. Dating someone who'd been locked up, moving out at 18, staying with a bunch of ex-inmates who were pretty nice but had nothing in common with me. I was trying too hard to prove something. Trying too hard. Even last year, even now. But I guess as we grow older, we kinda grow out of certain habits. For me, I stop trying to win every fight. I no longer desire so much to get the last word. Some people don't matter, and some things don't. I realise I may not necessarily be heard even if I say all I feel. Sometimes, there's just no point.

"i'm growing up too fast too soon" sounds real familiar. Do roses die the moment they get cut or do they die when they wilt and dry up?

being too idealistic.

so, i used to have this dream about being able to walk down the streets and knowing everyone's name. i grew up, and realised that even if i want to know everyone, not everyone is interested in knowing me. which, surprisingly, is fine by me.

of course, it is rather disappointing to think that my ideals as a child is probably not going to work out, since i don't make any effort at all. but it is pretty disturbing when i can't talk like a human to someone i see for about four hours each day for five days a week. i had this idea about talking it out. rounded up some effort and asked the said person out for supper (for the second time) to the same place, and of course the day was set. yet once again, the said person beautifully and conveniently forgot about it again.

like the young one said, "i think you're being too idealistic." you know what? i think so too.

of rife and strife.

so it's been bothering me for almost a week now, since saturday. the rife.

a pity; a shame. and for a long time, a puzzle. well, now that i kinda know what it's all about, it's almost over. this weird unpleasantry between a friend and i all boils down to my insecurity. which, of course, as usual, i refuse to admit. right from the first day i met her, i knew she was something. something which i probably was not, something which i probably wanted to be. more than anything else, something that she has, which i can never possibly have.

i've told this to less than five people in my life; and it'll probably stay that way. but i've this certain void in me. related images bring tears to my eyes and jealousy to my heart. something that's lost and gone forever but yet always by my side. noone can possibly understand the depth of which the image lives in my heart, not even i. and no, i refuse to think it a convenient excuse for all my wrongdoings.

anyway, the moment she joked about the relationship between her dad and her, it all became clear that it was a case of green. and relief flooded me like how happiness overwhelms. amazing grace. it's always good to be able to let go, especially of negative energy, stemming from unknown sources.

---

i've been receiving countless cosmic messages. coming across things that inspire me; stumbling upon motivated accounts of human beings so closely associated to what i could have become or have the potential to achieve. such inspiring stories that bring shame to this sloth, but which also resembles a glimmer of hope.

it's strange how i usually struggle for things to say but words flow from the tips of my fingers without hesitance today. maybe it's the aftermath of the Dead Poets Society catharsis. before which i havent released the pent-up energy in me for months on end. bawling is healthy.

and i guess i cant help being absolutely incoherent and mercilessly unintelligible when thoughts run from my heart to my brain and right to my finger tips. blogging has always been a form of masturbation, albeit also exhibitionism.

and you know what follows -- sleep.

i do need to delete some files.

the wrestler probably wasn't thinking when he said it, but i think he's making a damn lot of sense when he said this,

"your brain RAM full liao .. need to del some files before storing new ones .."

i do need to delete some files, but some things just stick like wax, dont they? not that it's gonna be tough removing it, but its physical removal will leave a bit of a grease anw.

the default frown somehow makes me smile.

The Curse of the Stilettos

So, the last time i was 4" taller was before Christmas.

and a few months before that, i was 4" taller almost everyday before 10pm. so i've decided to try rekindling that passionate relationship i had with my stiletto heels, but it's just not meant to be.

anyway.

ive become a hermit! my sil was commenting on how i havent gone out in a long time. ive been staying home wednesdays and sundays, feeding her daughter, bringing her to school, taking her strolling, sleeping, reading, etc. just not going out. and my family's been bonding quite a bit. but she was actually expressing concern... and i was kinda taken aback. she was right. i think it's been a month i havent spent a single day out. and i guess the change is really apparent given my nature and history.

but guess what? im enjoying the days in. i do need to get out there though, before i start latching myself to some rock.