havent been blogging,

cos the keys are really very screwed up

n ive been busy.

havent even been online much.



got abit of complications with my dg

and i'd been waiting for this call

only to realise

it'll be a uber short conversation

that lasts no longer than 7 minutes!

what a dsisappointment

but anyway

it's better than nothing.



absolut was good.

wrote about twenty times more warm fuzzies

than i did last year.

or maybe just ten.



it's time to follow my set direction in life.

and my prince charming shall be kept

to one corner of my heart.

haha.

as if that's possible.

but arghhh

i'm dying from it.

happily dying sometimes.



something scandalous happened

during absolut camp

omg i just cant believe it lah.

why! why! why her!

*tears hair*

wei se me??



loadsa confused thots

rushing thru my heads.

i need salvation, bad.

wednesday

gave tuition in the morning,

got the usual breakfast --

the oily stuff.

wad's on the menu today?

fried beehoon + mee.

well its free anyway.

so no grumbles shiyun.



met up with the st nicks peeps.

once a year thing.

christmas presents exchanging,

got my neutrogena facial wash n toner,

and this fairness mask. hahah

like it'll work, but oh well.

seems like we havent changed.

appearance yes,

but character - no.

it feels homey actually.

grounding in a way.

ive been wastin my life away

n this was grounding.

planned to head to ecp

for a day of bike-riding,

but we ended up with green rosti

n unripe mangoes

and ended up at j8 instead.

which was ok,

cos i found this cool top

that im so gonna buy tmr.

but well, if it's still there, that is.



n the bad night started from there.

couldnt meet at city hall.

but hottest babe fetched from orchard,

which was good.

walked from boat quay to ms -

which was pretty bad.

kept kim waitin for damn long.

i should really memorise some map.

then. this whole age limit thing came up

and i felt so terrible

cos im like so responsible for it.

mood went downhill from there-

thot of stupid things,

it was just a crybaby night.



hit cm for the first freakin time,

n the bartenders were sleazy.

merlioned like mad today,

it felt so gross.

no beer please.

i cant take beer. yucks.

felt stupid towards the end.

totally stupid n rejected.

n im suddenly aware of my welcome note

that reads

"any amt of self-enrichment

cant make up for the lack of self-acceptance."

i cant accept myself for who i am,

so i probably wont hope to find someone

who is able to acept me for who i m.

so yea. heck.



i really need to keep my confidence in check.

it's dropping like noone's business.

and i should never, never ever,

build my confidence on others' opinions.

yes dy i remember that.

but it's just so hard to do.



once again,

im at the lowest.

it's been a long time.

i need the restart button.

i wish there was one.

i think ive been so pampered

that i cant take things not going my way

n this is absolutely disgusting.

cos ive never been like that.

not since i remember.

kill me.

im turning into someone i dont know.



packin my stuff

always brings back memories of the old me.

of the many old mes.

the times when i was weak

the times when i was emotional.

the times when i was strong as can be

and i begin to wonder.

ive changed over time,

as everyone else does.

but i dun think it's for the better.

screwed up

comp has been screwed up,

but ive got my bro-

he solves all the technical prob at home.



work's been screwed up,

ive lost my voice

and screamin at the kids aint good.



play's been screwed up,

my timetable's packed like shit.

cant spare time for friends

when im needed;

cant spare time for friends

when i need 'em.



ive been screwed up,

fallin into all my bouts of confusion

not knowing what i want,

not knowing who i am,

not knowing anything at all.



it's been a screwed up period for me,

really.

even though everything seemed ok.



but i'm strong n good,

and i'm trying to get up again.

and thanks yz for that long talk

over lunch yest.

i kinda had time to think thru

wad ive been thinkin

and not just push 'em aside.

i havent had time for myself lately,

and this is wad im gonna do today.

other than trying to cure my illness

n pack my disgusting room

n tuition. =

happy day everyone.



its gonna be another busy week.

i'm black again



black back from chalet,

a few days of funnn.

bridge, daidee, bluff,

mahjong, mahjong n mahjong.

barbequed food,

baileys with milk,

vodka sprite,

vodka ribena..

honey lemon,

lozenges,

nice mantou marshmallows!

mayb it was the alcohol,

cos the dares on the first day

didnt seem that bad.

oh, or it could b cos i was exempted.

hahaa =] the ill is the privileged.



hit wild wild wet with the four babes

amelia weilan kim char

felt like i was totally into the hols

n we were damn good frens suddenly

that kinda feelin.

one of em said it felt like

sex 'n the city.

it just felt good!

the rides..woohoo.

though only two were good,

but anw. it was pretty fun

for some 20yo undergrad.



didnt get pissed drunk,

but drunk enough.

thanks to those guessing games

with dawn zai n aikland!

cant believe it.

they were in cahootsss.

all cheered when i lost!

n when it came down to

the last four glasses of drinks

i lost all four in a row!

they were laughing their asses off lah.



lookin at two couples i know in particular,

i wonder how my other half's gonna be like.

those couples r cut out for each other,

it's difficult to imagine them not being tog,

cos it doesnt seem like

there would be a better match!

it kinda makes me wonder..

wad kinda person m i really?

lookin at the super different kinda frens,

i really cant decide.

prob just a cooped up chtr

who bursts into episodes of lunacy occasionally.

got this off na's bloggg-

You scored as Pride. Envy 62% Pride 62% Sloth 50% Gluttony 50% Wrath 44% Lust 38% Greed 12% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

well, i'm a leo.

waddya wan!

kiss my toes.

a terrible night

a terrible night.



it was a terrible night.

a few terrible nights actually.

ive been thinkin of u so much

that i wake up every half an hour,

needing u.

i cant even sleep properly.

the most ironic thing is,

i know so much u're within reach.

i need u, yet i dont really wan u.

im confused.

and then i went for tuition just now,

needing u ever so badly.

i even used up one n a half packets of u!

damn u, u tissue.



*sneeze*

CHECK THIS OUT!

check this out!



my mum just called me on the hp-

yes just.

check the time of my blog.

she thot i was still out!

wad a stinky reputation i have.

but ng looked at it

as im quiet.

awww. i'm demure mah!

ok just an interestin post for maself.

nights all.

better sleep before she calls again.

hahaha

today!

coughed my throat dry in the mornin

fever seems to be stayin at 37.2.

maybe i should just go buy 4d or something



gave one tuition in the mornin though

but cancelled one in the noon

cos i was really not in the state.

wont even be able to speak lah!

but i forced more pi pa gao down my sorry throat

(ooh sidetrack. ppg always saves the day!)

and i was better.



oh oh must share this story!

so i dragged my ass to tuition

after i forced this spoonful of ppg

(omg i think calling it ppg scars my fave bubbles.)

down my throat a few hours earlier.

and i was still bad.

but after i ate some chwee kuey

that the mum offered me

and screamed at my kid

i was well enough!

but a flu came.

leaking nose.

oh to kim n char - my nose came.

hahaha ok fine inside joke.

anw.

so i was tellin dy that it must be the yelling.

otherwise the chwee kuey.

but since i couldnt yell no more

and eat chwee kuey no more aft tuition,

i kindly attributed it to ppg.

so i gulped the second mouthful down

when i was seriously ill.

well my ears became blocked lah huh.

but no more leakin nose.



met eu for dinner!

been damn long since i talked to that one lahhh

but let's talk more tmrrr

yes, in my croaky voice.

heavy shoppin man that one.

but not me - im like so broke!

ooh i just love all our scandalous gossips.

eu, hahaha!

met esther too!

nice girlll

we must go wakeboardin n tennising tog man.

of cos we'll ask eu along.

hahahaha

oh no, let me bold that-

ask eu along

u're so gonna slaughter me.

oooh. and all three of us were in the shower tog!

figure that out urself. hahahaaa



eu was an angel today!!

to send bsk ann n me to clarke quayyy

u're sweetest man.



and wasnt i sweet too?

bought a chocolate brownie for kris!

oh yea.

bought this char siew bao

and two har kaos from tangs

oh yucks.

and im still craving for dim sum can?



met this shayen person

who actually played tic tac toe quite well can.

hahaha shit.

wad was i doing playing tic tac toe

when i was supposed to be clubbin?

i was wearin friggin board shorts n racer back

and e nicenice rattan slippers

which i cant bear to be stepped on lah.

but bangsaikia was an angel too!

didnt make me feel extra.

well after all,

u're my cookin instructor aint u?

wahhahahaa.

silly joke, that one.



guess who i saw at friggin monks?

hyan! wahlau. haha

can u friggin believe it!

29 n monking still.

at least i'm like 20 can.

and i dun like go everytime!

n of cos chris (no dylan with her. *wonder*)

and jiexinnn with felix!

who else? cant remb.

anw. no jos. damn sad lahhh.

my big time eye candy!



so we left for hendrix aft awhile,

and i left too!

and be proud of me lah can.

i took a NIGHTRIDER!

hahaha.

nr6 was a good ride though.

made a super uber beeg round

from hougang to punggol den to my house.

rahhhh.

oh but caught this conversation

between a 22year old yaya guy n a girl,

prob someone he wanna impress.

guy: u nammit, i dunnit.

at this moment i was damn tempted to ask

"broke guinness record? won wakeboard worldcup?"

gal: really? like wad. i've very limited vocab when it comes to such things.

guy: shoplift, rob..

gal: how do u define rob?

guy: knifepoint lor

gal: oh. (not very impressed. understandable.)

guy: yea.. target the old folks and..

gal: old folks! oh man. (rather disgusted girl)

guy: no choice wad, they dont struggle.

i spaced out for a long while aft this



ok so that's all i remb.

but i'm frugal.

took a NIGHTRIDER.

so yes, i'll make a good wife.

*demure look*

will u marry me?

haha.



::quote of the day::

good snogs come once in a blue moon.

oh no im absolutely horrible.

forgot to blog abt so many things!

cos connection was down, down, down.



swaps retreat!

haha fine.

nothing to do with me.

but anw i went down on the second night

and hung out with them for abit.

ass came down with pearlyn

and we played lotsa bridge

and heart attack n whatnot.

and we fong-senged.

and i suspect the lousy aircon's the reason

why i developed the lousiest temperature

right after i stepped outta the room

the next freakin' morning.

rahhh.

but anyway.

i went to sentosa w/o touching the sand?!

can u absolutely believe that?

where's my sun sand n sea?!

*cries*

so i absolutely hate everyone

who's been to the beach lately.



ok two posts that ive written down to blog!

(7dec)



::one::

suddenly recalled this scene

from months ago.

i was waiting at the airport like SK Terminal

(nothing grand, really. SK = sengkang)

and this guy went around shouting

"the government is bad, it's unfair,

vote for the Opposition!"

or something to that extent.

and this boy, prob in lower sec,

said this

"then don't take the bus!

the government one!"

we know that what the boy siad

is not exactly true in many ways,

but his immediate reaction to that guy

-- what does it show?

i shall stay silent to my comments.



::two::

recalled also this line that ann said,

"when you're best friends,

(or just friends for that matter)

you overlook some stuff.

but when you are no longer friends,

you might find those stuff disturbing."

something like that,

of cos she said it in a nicer way.

how true.

something that you might have laughed off

with a best friend

may be something you actually detest.

love blinds.

whichever kinda love.

amazed

yes all.

roll ur eyes at me.

hahaa. it was unplanned.

and im still amazed at myself.

yes, still.

eu, i know u are too. hahaha



like omg.

i have this whole guy in my head

all this while

so wad was i thinkin?

or maybe i wasn't thinkin.

it just felt like the thing to do!

haha no, that sounds weird.

whatever!



but anw.

im having the lousiest throat. ever.

after the lousiest fever. rahhh.



but anw.

some pple just like to call

n make me guess who they are huh?

hahaha ok u're pardoned.

behaviour condoned.



recee this saturday.

hope it doesnt rain!

long entry!

omg this is like quite cool lah

blogger's in like..Chinese!



anw. bad mood bad mood.

had the highest fever recorded.

freakin' 39.1deg celsius.

and noone was home.

k fine, save the maid.

who didnt cook porridge for me

and i had to go compass point buy!

ohhh i think i didnt pay for it.

anw. couldnt finish it,

and ate my medicine.

remembered how sven fell sick

and i bought porridge n fed

and changed ice-cold towels.

where's my good kharma!!

and lola, of cos.

who didnt help by jumping on sick me.

but well,

if u know me well enough,

i smsed almost the whole world

to gain sympathy. =]

attention seekin, but hell.

im sick, am i not?

i DESERVE it. =]



anyhow,

sick me went ahead with chillin'.

damn sad lah. *sobs*

drinking sure helps.

and all that 'cleansing' n merlioning.

yes, u should know me by now.

but of cos,

temperature dropped to 37.6deg yea.

so i was having this super bad gastrics

and a super splitting headache.

but i met darling ivy anyway

to pass her some impt "present"

which she has to return to me. haha.

anw.

i saw crystal again yest!

and jervis.

cos of ivy!!

hung around abit with them,

queued up with them for chinablack

before kris finally called.

so i got to catch up on quite alot with crys.

and she asked this,

"have u ever regretted?"

hell yes.

my reputation's spoilt to the core

with sven sim.

just u remember.

but then again,

it was a lesson learnt.

at least i grew wiser in certain aspects.



then nb we went

with the ku klux klan.

nah, of cos im kidding.

kris kim karen.

it's still the the KKK aint it.

amidst all the 40s n 50s funky aunties.

yea rite. funky indeed.

saggily funky.

wahhahaahaa.

k that was mean.

anyhow

i had my dunno how many shots

and countable pops

and off we went to meet some frens

who sat by the pavement

amidst the pools of gooey stuff-

yes u know wad it is!

hahaa. of cos,

i contributed to it too.

hahahaa. so unglam.



yes, with the gastrics gone

and only a bit of the headache left.

alcohol just cures everything, doesnt it?

even the sadnessss

but when i hit that pavement,

i started to freeze.

it was like damn cold,

couldnt take it.

but this angie babe that i got to know

was really sweet n all.

kinda got to know like three juniors--

angie, audrey, n jolene.

and it was kinda fun actually.

quite silly,

but i love being silly, dont i.

we went to punggol nasi lemak

or something.

5 mins from my houseee

i didnt eat!

surprise?

ok fine

i took a bit off kris's.



i met bsk yest!

haha to that arse -

I DIDNT SEE THAT FUCKER.

N I DIDNT GET TO STEP ON HER FEET!

but nvm,

it was nice seeing u n ann! =]

she's still as pretty as everrr!



well something happened,

minus the chewing gum blowing

and the puking area

and the unglam photo taking.

something in place of drinkin.

but anyhow,

it's quite an attack to the leo's ego.

rahhh.

waddya mean it's 'traumatising'?!

m i like..that bad?!

mayb i am.

ok fine, im not sure if that word was used.

but rahhh.

ni gei wo ji zhu.

just u remember.

rahhhh. the leo is angered.

but well, forget it.

it was an act of drunkenness.

so noone really cares abt it.

just.

'traumatising'?!

rahh. angry.

well anyway,

i didn't think it was that bad.

but anyhow.



anyway the fever's killing me

and i cancelled like three tuition sessions

and can't attend the bloody meetin thing.

rahhh.

wad a bad time to fall sick.

but it's always when u fall sick,

that u realise u dun really have many pple to whine to.

thanks eu,

for listening to me whine

and offering so much advice

n giving concern!



ok the headache's got me.

i'm off.



rah,

the angry leo.



(this post was editted quite a number of times.

memorable.)

kris's off to batam already

and im stuck in singapore.

rahhh.

nvm, when she comes back

we'll hit cheeky!

miss ya babe.

it's been a longgg time!

lotsa stuff to catch up on man.



thinkin abt my 21st bday-

think it's gonna be nothing.

hahaa we'll see.

mayb i might have a chalet

n invite all my frens over on diff nites

n get pissed drunk.

hahah we'll see we'll see.

but u'll be invited though =]

daily updates!!

::saturday::



event 1.

missed biz subcomm meetin

but met up with kim n char aft that nonetheless.

took neoprints! so funnnnnnn

caught Taxi too.

the day was spent pretty much laughing

at someone's antics. hahaa

which i wrote down on paper. =]



we did heavyy shoppin.

like hell lot.

we all felt so good.

carrying big branded bags of stuff.

hahaha yea!

two new bags to carry arounddd

no more 'la' bags to the gym already. haha

well i sure must earn more money.



event 2.

reached home, bathed,

and received a call on my hp

from bsk!!

den i recalled the salsa party thing.

spent half an hour runnin some errands

and rushed down just before 11.

to where? salsa party, of cos!

hahahaa ok thats so bullshit.

we(bsk, n and me) went to indochine,

which really wasnt that bad.

i thot the chicken wings were pretty good!

and the music. woah.

i miss the alcohol n loud music.

wed wed.

kimmmyyyy. newsroom???



anyway

had a good chat with bsk & n.

wooo hooo.

it was nice to just chill there of cos.

but issues raised were good.

set me thinkin abit..

quite abit in fact.

and i got reminded why i stepped outta the circle.

and i'm finally not that confused abt bsk's entries!!

hahahaa

finally *enlightened*

let's hope my plan works

and i'll see the two babes at melb next hols!!



*cant wait*



::sunday::

-my dreams vibrated-

*clicks off my hp alarm*

*sleeps again*

after just one wink,

it was an hour later.

so i postponed tuition to 5 hours later

and gave tuition!

missed the frenly chats with her actually!

she got me to read her fave reads -

one of russell lee's book.

and we talked a little.



went down to city hall mrt stn control

to meet the absolut-ly absolut folks.

meetin til 930pm i think

and home we goooo.

me with the idea of wad to make for shiyun's bdae.

*happy*

ok yay.

time for bed soon.

welfare sub comm meetin

welfare sub comm meetin!



gymmed again this mornin..

tried this new leg curl machine.

haha im so lousy.

i hope that means that the past few months

that ive not exercised

have amounted to something -

all big muscles into fats!

yes fats! cos fats can be gotten rid of!

correct me if im wrong.

so now, its time to start losin them.

yay yay.



so anyway went for tuition,

with the duper heavy bag.

i think im becoming very whiny.

like. u'll never expect me to grumble

about these kinda little things!

but anw.



went down to settlers'

and met the lot there.

chingyong, linyen, (no shaun goh),

wan tsin, kelvin, some qiang, n xiaoyan's bro.

two from engine, one from science.

hahah so we played games!

yay i miss playing games.

but somehow,

playing the same games feel different.

i guess it's the company.

and the mood. altogether now,

*haiiiii*

but well i did enjoy myself somehow. :)



friend, if u're reading this,

dun be stressed yea?

things turn out fine in the end.

they'll work out somehow.

i know it's difficult to believe

when we're going thru it,

but we all know, they will.

so i started studying at 5plus pm yest.

and spent half of that time online.

KILL ME.

anyway i didnt mean that

cos the paper's over! hahaha

oh no. kill me.

cos work's coming in. urgh.



oh must blog abt this.

rl was soooo cute.

even though he suan-ed me

and snatched my paper from me.

he spoke in like

teochew canto mandarin singlish

and whatnot.

and he was bitching all the way

hahaha he's that kind

that u can just look at,

and laugh nonstop.

not at him, but at his jokes.

he's just so cute.

in every sense of the word!



talked to terence on the way

from clementi to outram park,

and realised why some of the ts pple

are gam-er than others.

praxis!

so prob i'll get close to some year1s next sem.

well hopefully lah huh.

since alvin's not doing ts next sem.

i really got like nobody man.

and guess wad?

aloysius is not majoring in ts!

can u believe it?!

we're talkin abt aloysius.

but he's doing lit lah,

so it's almost about the same.

almost. not the same huh.



anyhow,

came home n slepttt.

hahaha.

oh and i declare.

lola's my best fren.

i was huggin' her to sleep

when she pushed my hand gently aside

and put her hand on mine!

and she actually adjusts the position of her head

and curls up on my body!

she's the ultimate baby man.

hug me back somemore!

cutest. ever.

i love lola!

r u jealous already?

lola's the best. n she's mineee.

before i end my day,

TAUFIK WON!!

hahaha.

i was writing in my diary

that sly'll win

(n hopin that im proved wrong)

and it so happens that

everyone else

is probably just as afraid,

if not more,

that sly's supporters will outnumber.

and taufik'll lose.

so haha, TAUFIK WON!

yay yay.

good job sly, but ive got a thing for tauf.

and other malay guys too, in fact.

anyway,

so i didnt vote. hahaha



good start to doomsday.

but meanwhile,

i'm just going to bed,

and try consolidate all the info

abt mass culture n pop culture

from short term memory to

LONG TERM MEMORY.

yay. and wake up

to cramp globalization

and performance & identity

and all the other texts

into my big head.

yes big head.

from the new name i have!

hahaha.

im called a SURFER CINDERELLA.

sounds good eh?

hahaha but not that good actually.

hahaha but sounds good can liao.

who gave me the name?

ah fa!! :)

why cinderella?

cos im curfewed.

gotta reach home before midnight.

ok that's bullshit haha.

cinderella cos i was w/o shoes

when i first met princeboy n af!

hahaha..

damn embarrassing.

my new slippers broke at mox!

or was it before that?

anyway we went to Happy

and i was barefooted. so yea.

oh oh

and i think cinderella kinda suits me

cos i stay out after midnight alot

and im always wearin old clothes. hahaha

so u see.

i'm the cinderella before the ball k?

not la ta k? *beams*

goodnight all!

my earliest night in abt a week!

oooh i lurve aircon.

who doesnt already know please go n jump.

it costs $30 to jump at clarke quay.

anyway im muggin'

then i'm droppin'.

aaaaARGHHhhhhh

i'm going BALD. yes BALD.

even with so much hair.

cos im tearin at it.

no lah cos lola's been sneaking licks

when i dont notice.

grosss. but she's cute.

but it means i wash my hair twice a day!

and more hairfall control

-stares at dove-



anyway wads the point of this whole thing?

im just takin a good ol' break from muggin'.

and im so skipping clubbin.

can u believe it?

i was clubbing like everyday last sem

during exams, yes.

well just take a look at my cap.

*shows off adidas waterproof cap*



im so living in a pig styyy.

so grossed out by myself can.

like. yucks.

i'll do something more abt it.

it was already cleaned two days ago

when i packed my clothes neatly

back into where they're supposed to be.

but i saw the lousy arrangement

n pulled them out to arrange again

but it was getting late

so i kinda left some of them there.

but it doesnt take an hour to do it lah.

so i will.

YES lah i will.

just the notes are gross.

stacks n stacks.

macdonaldisation

globalisation

disneyfication

f math

math c

n what have u.

oh yucks.

tell me abt it.

-stretches-

good afternoon all!

i hit the gym i hit the gym i hit the gym!

no my hand not pain, dun worry.

anw. hahahaa

it's damn weird today

cos no weight training

and no rowing training

so. weird.

sheeeena when'll u be free for wts!

but but but

i did the step thing

(ok it's called natural runner. or sth.)

for the first time!!

ahah so suaku rite.

damn it.

i always thot it looked damn simple

no lorrrrr.

running's so much easier.

natural ur head.



anw. I FEEL GOOD.

but when will be the next time? hahaa



oh yea.

was talkin to bin on msn last nite,

and suddenly remb i saw

chen tai ming n sharon au at orchard

aww they looked so cute

as santa claus and santarina!!



ok having my last paper tmr.

pray for me.

i shall work hard nowwww

time's running out. ARGHhhhh

anw. study study mug mug.

aARGhh.

exams are ENDING.

means work.

ARGH. =\

oh did i add?

lil baby blade worried me.

rahhhhh.

(ok the power's kinda back.)

but all's fine now

yawn.

it's weird being a babysitter.

hahha i'll give up soooooon.

cos im too lazy to care. |-)



i honestly need more clothes.

and more space.

yes,

both for my fat body

and for my clothes.

argh.



been having the runs

since i came home from a sin.

rah.

rahhh.

see? even my rah-ing is weak now.



so back to the point.

been having the runs.

so, the last time i visited the loo

(a few moments ago)

i was happily lookin around

at the interior of the toilet.

and i saw my beloved brush waiting faithfully

on the sink lah, wad did u think.

so i brushed my hair

and looked at the brush after brushing.

guess what i saw?!

cockroach eggs!

yea right.

nothing lah, just a few strands of hair.

so i sat down to sat there

and pulled out what looked like

a few strands of hair.

ladida.

tick. tock. tick. tock.

and the time past.

and i was still pulling them out.

gawwwd.

and i finally finished

twisting the strands round the mini pillars

and realised,

to everyone's horror,

that they added up to a clump of hair.

so in a serious tone, i thought,

"dove shampoo, i give u ten days."

whoever knew dove shampoo has this

whole hairfall control thing please raise up ur hand.

see? i knew i wasnt the only one who didnt.

i didnt even think i needed it

when i bought it.

not that i knew anyway.

but now, it had better do.



caught Bridget Jones Diary II

with dearest charmaine kim n vonne

at cineleisure today.

dun 'huh' at me lah.

yes ive got a paper on thurs.

not like u dunno my pattern rite??

anw.

i was on the way home

and scrolling thru' my calendar

when i realised

"oh man. i have a busy schedule ahead."

need to start gymming again;

biz n welfare sub comm meetings;

absolut planning;

birthday n christmas shopping;

birthday n christmas parties;

starting of tuition;

starting of tuition kid hunting;

wakeboarding intro course;

and wad else?

gawwwd.

dun let the exams end.

ok i was just kidding abt that.

um. was i? =\

another

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What kind of blogger are you?

some test

F:

Your Beauty lies

in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.

You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even your

appearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may look

innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the same

time. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit of

everything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with the

guys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost a

different person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you know

exactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. You

enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable you

are.

Some Things

That Represent You:

Element:

Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, Light

Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:

Half-smile

Gemstone:

Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Color: Red Eye Color:

Brown

Quote:

"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

my blog's dead.

not sure how long more it'll live for.

cos im dying too.

diagnosed with stomach cancer.



ok thats so not true.

i keep a diary, yeah?

so ive been writin alot inside.

n thus the dwindling no. of posts.



bad day

with tonnes of stuff.

and bad macaroni.

ok its not that bad.

just not the way i planned it for e day.

clarification

ok..refer to prev post.

so eu n i were talkin abt a haircut:

i was askin her how abt this weekend

and she meant most probably can make it

den i asked her how much is hair dying

and she said 80 bucks!

it doesnt sound funny suddenly..



anw.. this is where common sense comes in.

we link the word 'dying' with the context

so there u go.

a linguistic explanation

for the absence of misunderstanding

even with the ambiguity!

the funniest conversation

the funniest conversation in years.



me: weekend leh?

eu: yup! weekend can i guess!

me: how much is dying?

eu: dying is about 80 bucks.



hahahhaaa.

can go ahead and laugh!!

hahahahaa.

eu n i cant stop laughing..

haha. :)

crampin' streak

shiyun's on her winning crampin' streak.

cramp n cramp n cramp.

like it's free.

i mean, of cos it is.

at my expense.

some creatures can just be so selfish.



and no no.

i'm bloody allergic to so many painkillers.

and my beloved heat pad decided to die.

ha ha.

wad a joke.

and i have a bloody paper later.

and no, my time on the blog's correct.

i'm up so late.

kill me.

shoot me.



i better give birth to more babies.

else i'll be crampin' for nothing.

my whole life of cramps.

and no babies.

it would be quite sad.

remember to console me

if i dun get babies.



it's this kinda time

when i miss that hand on my tummy

that warms it up

and puts me to sleep.



it's this kinda time

when i miss that voice in my ear

that calms me down

and puts me to sleep.



and then i realise

that im really all alone

with no source of affection

noone to pacify me

noone to whom i grumble

and not feel apologetic afterwards.



and then i question myself

if i really wan someone

for my own selfish needs.

and yes

i think so.

i miss cuddlin' up on the sofa

to watch all the movies on the tv.



dont we all?

so its said my blog is dead

so it's said that my blog is dead.

well, i think so too. haha



reading my past posts make me laugh

the way im typing the stuff im saying.

anyway this post's not gonna be difft.

hahaa so wad the heck did i say that for?

no purpose i guess.

an act of self-awareness. hahaa

ok that's bullshit.



wad have i been doing with my time?

have been conscientiously studying, of cos.

ok that's bullshit again.

but i tried!!

that's not bullshit.

well, not totally. =]



met up with af n princeboy over the weekend

and we hit golden cafe

(and it's damn sad cos my fave dish from there

ie xo chicken rice) is no longer on the menu.

so fine, i shall survive w/o that.

been craving for dim sum for some time already.

someone please be kind n bring to me dim summm



caught 6 weeks on tv yest.

blatantly portraying the life of channel I, i see.

shall make an effort to remember

to continue catching the next 5 episodes.



i dun even know wad movies are on anymore!

i think i should apply for a GV member card

(if there is one)

and catch as many movies as i possibly can.

but first step:

get more students earn more money!



talkin abt earning money,

i really should.

cos i wanna become more vainnnnn

like. u know

start taking care of my skin

and make an effort at lookin in the mirror

at what i wear before i step out the door.

ok let's see how long this resolution will stay.

hahaha i cant seem to take effort in such stuff.

anyhow,

ask me, why the sudden resolution?

hit orchard tower with ash n af

and saw tonnes of babes.

gorgeous figures pretty make-up n all.

and they're not even girls.

wad the hell am i doing, typing away in school,

in my worn-out quiksilver pullover,

and the waterproof nike shorts!

*shakes head*

but i like it.

hahaha we shall see.

someone revamp my wardrobe for me!!

christmas's coming!

monday

monday.



met up with everything

to study!

very condusive envt i must say.



went off to farah's for the feast.

yes, the hari raya feast! yum.

played indian poker

and breezed thru my forfeit.

i really shouldnt play indian poker

cos i always play cheat.

oops.

anyway hung around til 7plus

n headed for home.



watched jie play mahjong

with the taiwan artists.

wu zhong xian said this,

"da kuai yi dian,

kuai yi dian da,

kuai yi dian le ni hai bu da?"

i stared at the screen.

hahah damn funnny.

i never heard him say that line all those times

that i played with him!



played beatmania with bro..

it's been so long.

nice times.

den played some mahjong game.

den here.



it's back again.

i need medication n determination.

reflections

reflections



it seems super easy

for pple to misunderstand my intentions.

sometimes i really just mean to care

and i dun mean anything else.



if u wanna take it as something else,

go ahead.

i dun wish to care.

it's ridiculous

for me to be concerned,

and u misinterpretating my goodwill.



anyway dun bother me too much.

yes i mean dun bother me,

not 'dun bother abt me'.

if i flare up at u

that's ur prob. cos i already warned u.

ok fine i didnt really mean that.

just. stay away.

not in the mood for anything.

and dun ask.

it's just pms.

GodeatGod

GodeatGod



watched the matinee at marine parade cc

guessed the company by the venue already eh?

yeap.

another community play by TNS



before the play started,

the words on the screen

(freak i forgot the name)

scrolled past.

issues of the world.

world vs country vs family vs individual.

n the music.



anyhow, haresh sharma addressed the audience.

characters from different countries,

with different problems.

critic of the singapore society,

as i see it.

there's this particular line from the play

"u know my metaphor for singapore?

line dancing.

people pay more attention to keeping in line

than to the dance."



there was this discussion thing

between the characters,

yes, not the actors.

at least i dun think so.

anyhow, it was on freedom.

that part seemed like a satire to me-

portrayin that silly sg'an chtr.

like us.

indulged in our own freedom,

stability,

that we lose the critical mind.



use of mike to frame the character,

to give the actor status.

another screen above the scrolling marquee thing,

and it only captures the japanese woman's face.

her problems within that frame within that frame.



let's all think abt the issues.

let us bring back something to think abt,

haresh says.

happy times.



::today::

muggin' at sentosa on fri! =]

had loadsa fun

and studied quite a bit.

BLEUXY look good together!!



and and.

bought a nice pair of boardshorts

a nice skirt

and a nice pair of slippers. heh

so happy.

it was a super fun day..

euxy came over n played with lola abit

while i prepared to go out

den we went on a short trip around

and had macs drive-thru breakfast!

so fun rite? haha

den we saw this foreign worker

look at bleuxy.

then thennnn

we took a pic of him!! hahaaa

oh oh we took loadsa pics.

like of mercs cab,

traffic light, etc etc.

caught crabs,

took walks along beaches,

talked with salesgirls of billabong,

ate at sakae,

had a nice dinner.



::today::

met char n kim in town

to mug!!

ate mudpie. *sinful*

ate some macaroni thing too.

then went shoppin'!

haha. crazyy day.

ass n weilan didnt come in the end.

so no card playing!

shoppin with the 2 of 'em quite fun =]



anyhow

had two pretty good days out.

but where r my stars?

=\

it's pathetic.

anyway here's my all-time favourite:



Crash and Burn - Savage Garden



When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door

And you feel like you can't take anymore



Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone



When you feel all alone

And a loyal friend is hard to find

You're caught in a one way street

With the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away and

You feel like you can't face the day



Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone



Because there has always been heartache and pain

And when it's over you'll breathe again

You'll breathe again



When you feel all alone

And the world has turned its back on you

Give me a moment please

To tame your wild wild heart



Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

been chewing on longans alot.

cos ive been buying them

to cook the aloe vera thing.



chewin on longans reminds me

of all the stupid things ive done,

and al the sweet things too.



::just the mildest of e sweet things::

1. woke up n made a lil card for kav

while that pig was still in bed

2. watched the sunrise at changi

3. patted kav to sleep

4. took care of sven thru the night

5. botherin to dress up. think 2001



so many that i cant put down.

anyhow that was just the prelude to this:



::the treatment i get::

1. someone cheated on me

2. someone was confused over the ex

3. all took me for granted

4. i got spread lousy rumours

5. i got nothing.



so much more.

i think i'm just disillusioned.

for a few seconds.

i dun trust that i'll really have

a prince charming for me out there.

but im still lookin fwd, anywhow.



eu said

that her mum said

that this book said

"if u dun get something,

it's cos u dun want it bad enough."

i wrote this down on paper,

to remind myself to blog on it,

but i didn't.

don't worry, it's quite outdated.

in terms of shiyun time



the motivation to do

what you want me never to do,

comes from you.

yes, ironically.



"i bet you'll do this

when u have the that to.

you're that kind - i can see."



ah. i'm sick of censoring.

it's a whole long chunk.

and yes i am sick of censoring,

but i still do.

cos im responsible enough

to know what shouldnt go online.



another chunk:



if you want respect, earn it.

c'mon. you can do it.



dont say you're playing games.

reverse psychology does not,

and i repeat, does not,

work on me.



the more you dont want me to

hang out with my lesbian friends,

the more i would.

the very prospect of meeting a guy like u

turns me homosexual.



dont bother to comment,

it's something that happened before,

n i now feel nothing abt it.



anyhow,

i have this habit of writing down stuff

to throw them away.

this aids me in forgetting.

but ive been keepin a diary recently

and thus the lack of stuff on my blog.



some stuff are better left unsaid.

and if u ever wonder why

i can have so many crushes,

it's cos the real one's inside my mind.

i dun put it on my mouth.

just blog

::communication theory::



it says something like

u choose to read what reinforces ur opinions

n rejects what creates dissonance.

i shall blog again on it when im reading up

fits rather fine into my essays i see.



been reading up quite a bit during term

for my essays.

im impressed at the bibliographies i have.

at least three readings for each essay.

maybe that doesnt impress u,

but it sure wows me.

i'm taking a step into my fulfilling life!



anyhow

back to why i even started talkin abt

communication theory

heard Last Flight Out on class95

some song that reminds me of ben.

started thinkin abt when i started learnin canto.

one of the first few phrases i learnt,

was this: "having me as your sister,

makes u the luckiest person in the world."

and who did i tell this to? ben.

n some songs just kept floodin into my head

out of nowhere.

and i think abt stuff.

but it's not bothering bothering me really.



so please.

and i repeat, please.

dun gimme any pep talk.

its not influencing me,

and im writing these down

not because i wan u to react.

(then why blog abt it in the first place?)

i can go on n on abt the arguments

as to why ppl blog

and their intentions.

but anyhow, i see blogging as a means

to communicate n to fill in frens

on how ive been living my life.

so yes. no pep talks.

dun tell me stuff like it's over

n i shouldnt think, etc etc.

these are stuffs i know myself.

and u know i know, so dun bother.

drama mama!

well, what did u expect?




You are Drama.

You are extroverted and like to show off, but can
be very subtle and intelligent when you want.
As an expert at story-telling, you love
attention and have developed the skill of
keeping it.

You get along well with Literature and Film.



What form of art are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ming zhong zhu ding

ooh finally found this!

nono finally bothered to go n find..



命中註定

作詞：許常德　作曲：Loso



OS：那天後，沒有再見過妳，但每次遇見這樣的大雨

，我就會想起妳，笑著說：「嘿！很高興認識你。」



忽然大雨　我們有緣相遇　妳也在這裡　被雨淋溼

小小的屋簷　就這樣變成妳　我的傘

萍水相逢　我們還很陌生　妳說人和人　有一種緣份

很像晚風　輕輕吹拂街上人們面容　那麼輕鬆

妳讓我相信　有命中註定　妳問我雨後　可有彩虹？

這樣的大雨　這樣的相遇　妳很純真　我被打動

人的心中　都有個孩子　特別容易　和純真接近

奇怪的是　地球幾億幾千萬個人　我特別想妳



妳讓我相信　有命中註定　妳問我雨後　可有彩虹？

人的一生中　際遇常常有　並非每段　都有感動

人的心中　都有個孩子　特別容易　和純真接近

奇怪的是　地球幾億幾千萬個人　我特別想妳

Insensitive - Jann Arden

got this song from ass -



Insensitive

(Jann Arden)



How do you cool your lips after a summer's kiss?

How do you rid the sweat after the body bliss?

How do you turn your eyes from the romantic glare?

How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere?



Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home,

By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual good-byes.

By the chill in your embrace and the expression on your face,

That told me you might have some advice to give ...

On how to be...

Insensitive.



How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch?

How do you slow your blood after the body rush?

How do you free your soul after you've found a friend?

How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?



Oh you probably won't remember me, it's probably ancient history,

I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you.

I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch, I fell too fast, I feel too much.

I thought that you might have some advice to give ...

On how to be ...

Insensitive.

shucks.

i always forget wad i wanna say

once i log into blogger.

bummer.



anyways

im done with all the term papers!

and got back my en lit essay!

quite pleased with the grade!

half a grade's improvement.

hope the one i handed in will be ok too.



term papers n the slacker mood

screwed up my timetable abit.

but well i shall hit back onto e road

the road of diligence heh heh. =]



bring it up bring it up..

put in more effort!

i dun even know where u freaking are.

except that u're up here in my mind.

i let u go.

i pushed u away.

but now i want u back.

where are u?!

it's been such a long time.

will i never see u again?

this is bloody singapore.

and yet i never do see u around.

where r u!!

where r u??

where r u..

i really want u back.

my weekend!

my weekend!



friday was spent rushing term paper.

thennnn

kim n char the hippies came look for me

at the lib. so sweet.

ok maybe they didnt mean to be sweet.

anyway

so kim came over to play with lola

and then we went to chill out at mm

and took 61 to holland v!

we so smart rite?

anywhere also know how to take bus. =]



well we were stuck at the bus stop

but we had tonness of fun!

at least i had.

took lotsa funny fotos

and stupid things.

den we got really high on air.

ahhaha or maybe it was just kim.

n we played cards at breko.

havent laughed so hard in a few days.

at least. =]

so happyyyyy

i wanna stay like that forever.



well. if only i could.

reached home around 5plus

when bro n sis in law woke up

n prepared to go off

for their little couple trip.

i slept til 12plus

and did some stuff..

watched my meteor garden

and went out to meet

my two grow old frens *hugs*

love slackin my day away with them.

met up with eu for awhile

talked alottttt

and took a few pics on my new camera! =]

gave eu a camera too.

dunno if she's thrown it away though.



went back to my oldies.

(*muack muack*)

sat at lips.

brought back tonnes of memories.

it's always iced tea with peach.

benson, i miss u. where are you?

noone recognised me

noone recognised me!



decided to tie up my hair today

so i did.

pins were necessary of cos



so i wore my denim skirt

and the red top

n the denim jacket

went off to sch.



saw vivian at the mrt station

she looked twice in my direction

n didnt recognise me!

then when i finally called her

she stared at me with disbelief.

"i never see u so neat before leh"



then i went to meet yz at the bus stop

she swept her eyes twice across me

and wonderin where i was. grr.

when she finally saw me

she stared with disbelief again.

"i was lookin out for tshirt n shorts"



ahh..

then wan fen n giang n even zs!

wassup todayyyy

really very weird huh?

=

and my ppg earrings broke.

please help me look out for ppg earrings k

i wan either bubbles or buttercup one.

issues

1. term papers

2. beach

3. mcps

4. blocking off msn list.



issues that'll slip my mind a few seconds later.

elaborate when free n in the mood.

the time again

the time again



the feeling's back.

dun feel like doing anything

just cant smile.

dunno wad the shit im feelin

but i know its something.

that elephant makin my heart

it's armchair again.

on a bright rainy sunday morning, your good friend saw that your blog is like dead, and will be dead unless she does something to it.

so she decided to be nice and help u change the skin, left everything undone except to add her own link. haha.

okay but anyway, you can go fill in your own stuff like tag board, other links etc. because sadly, your previously skin is like totally deleted. so i couldnt even extract the tagboard codes and links.



gooodbye.

it's decided.

it's decided.



the race's cancelled.

not the race.

our participation.



no advanced notice

just pooh.

three smses forwarded

and pooh.

for those of us who trained

for those of us who yearned

for those of us who hoped

for those of us who still had a dream

just pooh.



we're like puppets.

helpless.

one sms

and we can't train.

it's not up to us,

we can't help it.



no race, no training.



no caps with our names

no blisters on our hands.

no salt in our hair

no white spots on our arms.

no lunch after rowing

no grumbling after that.

no tough biceps to flaunt

no glove tan to show off.



and we can't do anything abt it.

they decided.



well, for those for wanted to race

and didnt train a shit,

u know wad?

i've got nothing to say to u.

look forward to race

when u stop halfway durin training

go kl on monday

and refuse to train on sunday.

i prob cant feel wad u can.



ive slacked

and prob i deserve half of this.



cheers to my teammates...

the last trainin couldve been our last.

my tests!

aww. i'm girl next door!

I am Girl Next Door Click on the picture below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

the bra. haha

You Are a White Cotton Bra! Practical, comfortable, and classic You want your man to feel relaxed and himself with you Your perfect guy is low maintenance and adaptable And he makes you feel comfy and cozy too! What Kind of Bra Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

and i'm pooohhhhhh




Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

that feeling

that feeling



u know sometimes

there's just this sour feeling.

it starts in ur body,

just somewhere in between.

and all of a sudden, u feel like puking.



u see that someone

and hear that something

read an old mail

recall that old fling

it rushes up to ur eyes, that sour feeling.



u ask urself

wad was everything

how did it start how did it end

wasnt it just a simple fling?

but try as u might, u're stuck. w that feeling



u know sometimes

theres just this sweet feeling

this rush of adrenalin

this flush in ur face

and it kills all germs, even that sour feeling.



u see that someone

u hear that something

u stare at ur hp n will it to ring

then u see that pop message

and u just cant stop grinning.

im a progressive girl

got this off na's blog. hmmm

i'm a progressive girl huh

She is Progressive Girl Click on the picture below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Is She?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

i'm a lifer.

i'm a lifer.



hahaa do u understand that term?

lifer. not a no-lifer.

ok fine that's jo e black for you.



anyway guess wad.

i met up with paulyn jaysher n edison

yest at fullerton for free dessert.

sounds great? hahaha

but trust me,

i think i didnt even eat one spoonful

of dessert in total.

hahaa pathetic!

the sampler. omg.

but anyway i shant complain.

it's freeeeeeeeee

that's cheapo jo for u!



wad was next?

good gossip topic hahahaa

the smses that paulyn received.

wahahahahahahaa.

rotted at monks with jaysher n paulyn

no topic but it just felt comfortable

the funny frenly feeling these 2 girls give me.



wanted to go home

after being unable to reach charmaine.

then she called me back when i was on the cab!

so there to her house i went.

so fun!!

hahaha just a senseless night out

but totally relaxing.

a few shots to take away inhibitions.

wait. wad r u thinkin??

nono. no inhibitions not = sex!

but wait. there was sex involved.

ahhahaaaa

between this pair.

phone sex.

oh no we shant go into details.

parties involved to bribe me. =]



played cards n charmaine's a good partner

hahahaaa.

or kim n pretty amelia baby r not-so-good.



e pretty babe drove us down to jln kayu!

she's damn nice lah

but just like the other three on her car,

she's got no sense of direction. hahaa

but it was a nice ride.

one that u cant sleep on.

hahaha prata was ok

we loved eating the not-nice-at-all tissue.

and charmaine brought a toilet roll there.

hahahaaa..

and i shan't explain for her.



ok enough crap.

but i enjoyed myself!

a great start to my weekend =]

the weirdest thing

the weirdest thing.



argh.

i dun understand why.



maybe i'm becoming

less of a group person.

seems like i'm starting to like

to work alone.

maybe i should go check my blood group.

it's probably b+ now.



did someone change a brain with me?

i'm empty headed.

n i hate this.



absolute madness.



absolute absolute madness.



god save me.

my god, that is.

buddha. goddess of mercy.

all the gods that i believe in.

save me.

classic

classic



Kiff-The dog ate my share of the cake!!!! says:

won't want lah... arts fac wat, no job prospect, what job...



JO :: i found a good n cheap form of entertainment. shh.:: says:

hahahhahahaaa



Kiff-The dog ate my share of the cake!!!! says:

we can just be beachbums



Kiff-The dog ate my share of the cake!!!! says:

i m thinking taxi driver too...



Kiff-The dog ate my share of the cake!!!! says:

since i'm studying politics and econs.. its perfect for starting conversations in a cab



totally, totally CLASSIC

i thought it was over

i thought it was over.



i thought writing all the shit down

and misplacing them

will make me feel better.

i thought not thinking abt issues

will make me feel better.



but apparently it doesnt.

come, let's talk abt issues then.



so yes.

pple have all the right to say wadever they wan

on their own blog.

i have absolutely no prob with that.

but if u wanna talk abt others' personal stuff

that they told u cos they trust u not to spread,

then the meaning is clear.



i'm not low enough

to type UR stuff on the web.

u can be sensible enough

not to type names of ur stories online

but u just go ahead n type abt people's.

oh how great u r.

it doesnt show much abt u,

does it?



anyway i think i asked u nicely.

and u said fine.

so now here u r

grumbling abt it to the whole world

saying i demanded something.

oh how sweet of u.

doesnt show much again, does it?



if u wanna write anything at all,

go ahead.

i wont even care to tell u anymore at all.

cos now i know who not to tell stuff to.

thanks for the awakening! =]

been thinkin abt a few issues

wanted to blog abt them

but forgot them all

the moment i clicked on 'new post'.

weird.

it always seems to be this way.



wad have i been doing?

tuition's lessening,

trying to do up a bit of readings

n spending time with myself.



met lin yen uncle kee gene n zs n june

at swaps table on friday

cos uncle kee (yes no more uncle underwear)

was gonna drive us to

andy's suprise birthday celebration.

anyhow, gene made this comment:

"hey, u're here! usually u're not."

kinda reinforced that image i have in me.

i havent been hanging around much

with anyone at all.

even though i'm trying to!

i used to be present at every single

swaps thing, big or small.

now i'm not even at the table.

but i guess i feel more fulfilled.

i'm giving tuition,

i'm earning a decent sum of money

and i'm doing ok.

i dunno if i have a life

but i try to do wad i wan.

and i guess that's wad matters..

i dunno if i'll die tmr,

n i've done stuff that i wan to do.

and i'm glad.

live life the way i want to.



anyway,

went for two tuition sessions

before wakeboarding on sat.

ups n downs.

couldnt do the 180 anymore

but managed to do the bunny hop twice.

i hope i'll keep it up.

meet the girls for dinner

at Ichiban at esplanade.

omg. it's really ICHIBAN!

the tuna really melts in ur mouth.

yum yum.

anyway we went to mariott

and spent the night yakking.

i really hope to have more of these!



anyhow,

i took some neoprints with charmaine!

haha like omg.

noone even wanna take neoprints with me

and charmaine is in the same situation.

haha so we took.

and stupid me pressed 'ok'

n we didnt get to choose pics.

and i fergot to draw the shit on her head

the second time round.

shall post pics up

if she sends them to me.



i'm sleep deprived.

pardon my repetitions.

i m so shy

im so shy



i bet yz n na know why.

pigs can fly pigs can fly pigs can fly

im in the lib

im in the lib



ah so dumb.

i forgot about absolut meeting

and thot i was gonna go sentosa

get my new pass

and go home to study

so i didnt bring my notes.

and i didnt bring my nite specs again.



anyway

did i mention that i fell during riding

and hit my head?

so pain.

i get a very bad jaw

and i get giddy spells

and i threw up.



and i'm so busy for everything

and i'm digging out time for swaps table!

and i'm managing to do it already!

one student down..

one more will be down tmr.

and i'll have more of a life.



and im a poor kid.

i need new flip flops.

mine are making me fall.

riding at punggol

riding at punggol



wasnt that good,

though we had e bikini babe

amanda!! on the boat with us

and david the pro.



one week good, one week bad.

well next riding's supposed to be better

according to this cycle.

i cant stand deteriorating

tell me it's just yest!



anyhow,

couldnt join the team for dinner

cos i was heading down to handover

dressed like shit.

hahaha and pple noticed.

bleahh



anyway

only chris the self-acknowledged poseur

asked abt my oakley boardshorts!

haha.. he damn conscious lah.

he was like "that's oakley rite?!"

"at least a hundred plus rite?"

so conscious.



anyway i asked david wad the comb was for

it's for the wax of the board! =]



lookin fwd to the next riding session.





::handover dinner::

food wasnt too bad,

the gift was nice!

kimberly drew me!

the angel. =]

and herself n charmaine on it - devils.

really nice.

so glad!!

like before i received the gift

i was half thinking

"shouldnt be as much effort as

wad i put in last year ba.."

den omg. so nice. =]



i think im still confused.

but my attitude is that:

leave it be.

hope my clouds will clear one day

and i'll know where im going.

updated wish items!

yay yay

i bought a pair of white n pink roxy boardshorts.

love em.

but quite ex i think..

i seriously need a sponsor

for future boardshorts n flip flops

n shades n bikinis.

-eyes flintston-

u still gonna be my sponsor?



anw. at paulyn's house now!

omg her screen is damn huge lah.

3/2 times of mine!

like, luxury.

waitin for that jaysher to come

grr..

please hurry up.

i wan eat up paulyn's food!

oks for now.

tuition later. lalala

im so gonna get obese.



anyway pple,

haha if u wanna sponsor me boardshorts,

buy me size 12 roxy!

haha i got the white n pink long ones already.

hahaha. thanks!

call me for my postal add.

hahaha.

i'm a lunatic.

updated wish list.



please do something abt my wish items!

refer to table on the right.



will put up a new background

when i have time to the computer again!

i lurve the sea

i lurrrveeeee the sea.

absolutely. yum.

oh no. pui. salty.

but nvm.



anw went for my 3rd riding session yest!

with paulyn the pretty!

so cool.

there wasnt much bitching yest

haha as paulyn noted.

prob due to someone's absence.

but anw, it was fun!

it's always fun actually.

quote from jeryl:

"wakeboarding's a poseur sport"

haha.

i still dunno whether to agree with him anot.

but anw it was total fun.

must jia you jia you.

u should go try it!



anw went drinkin again on friday.

just went two weeks again

but well i guess i need a break!

cos i feel like my social life's pretty much gone.

so i was pretty glad to see expected pple on fri!

but the event was boring

so went off to get cheap drinks at 7e.

played stupid games with kim n charmaine.

oh yea

i never expected that bryan to be so good

at that stupid "hei zhi ma bai zhi ma" game.

ah!!

and oh yea

i wore my first t****n for sat's ride!

haha. didnt take me one hour like yz did.

yay yay.

and yz's coming back TODAY!

lalala.

we're gonna paint the town red!



now i shall forestall both verm n sc-

i will stain the town black. bleh.

happy weekend, shiyun!



btw.

anyone wanna donate to my riding fund?

and my riding equipment fund?

or just buy me a nice pair of

roxy/quiksilver boardshorts,

a nice thick bikini top?

ur generosity will be much appreciated.

im no better than a dog?

im no better than a dog?



oh man. that disgusting sc.

she treats me worse than she treats lola!

she says she'll come over tmr to fetch

L O L A !!

can cry. she treats a bitch better than me.

grr.

ask lola bite u.

i finally found some photots!

i finally found some photots!



i had been waiting eons

for my bro to upload photos.

and then i realised he did.

but i couldnt find them.

finally..after at least one month,

i found some of them.

shall try to upload.

ive got half an hour before i gtg again!



my bday present nicely wrapped!





the pics on it 1





2





3





still got more!! i love the present.

lalala

some people

some people.



some people are so full of themselves;

some people like to put others down to feel good;

some people think other than the world-recognised,

they're the best;

some people think they an etch above everyone else;

some people dont care about others but expect to be cared for.

and you?

you're all the above rolled into one..

and more.

The Wedding

The Wedding!!



omg. preparation must have been hectic.

for ken&sally.

for me, one of the ushers,

i've learnt that:

there's no point in trying to

arrange the aunties nicely on tables

that u assign them to.

it's almost impossible.

they are rebellious by nature!

makes me think abt the fact again:

when u grow older,

u grow younger too!

get wad i mean?

ur rebellious streak during teenage yrs

come back to haunt u.

omg. so scary.

i cant imagine behaving like i'm 16

when i grow to become 50.

scary.



anyway, the wedding was nice!

makes me think abt my own wedding..

all my frens,

all my relatives.

but i dun like the hassle

i wanna enjoy myself!

anyway. it'll depend on my husband.

if i get one!

omg. my 21st birthday dream.

someone propose to me!



i shall get back to spying on jaysher's food.

smells nice.

oh wait, or is it the smell of rain?

GUESS!

GUESS!



where do u think i am now?

guess!!



no.



wrong.



no.



guess again?



haha i know u'd give up.



jaysher's place.

nono didnt type wrongly..

yes jaysher! hahaa..

with paulyn!

so cool hor?

like omg. ive been so busy

so caught up with stuff.

and i havent seen jaysher for damn long!

except that once at millenia walk.



anyways i havent been blogging

so no life.

like omg. no life.

i havent been on the computer for just leisure

for a thousand years.

ok not that bad.

just a thousand months.

no either, i'm not that old.

just a thousand days.

nonsense.

fine, it just feels like it.



got one more student,

giving 20hours of tuition per week.

going into riding..

7hours per week (estimate)

alongside the rest.



surprisingly,

i'm doing up my tutorials!

im going for class PREPARED.

maybe like paulyn said,

when u're more free,

u tend to procrastinate,

thinking u'd have time to do it.

but when u're busy,

u'll just grab any time u have

to do up ur work.

how true. =]



i like the way i am now!

yes, even though i grumble alot.

im a bad tempered girl

noone believes me.

so too bad, u get it.



anyway

try to back off when u feel that

my sms style is weird.

or when u really feel im irritated.

dun try to make me laugh

unless u're zs or eunice.

u'll just make it worse.

and dun tell me u envy my lifestyle.

try 15hours of school,

12hours of travelling to n from sch,

14hours of tuition,

5-7hours of travelling to n from tuition,

16hours of training,

3plays, and 4 stacks of readings

(not including el 1101 e),

every week.

minus the fact that im perceived

as super free.

dun compare me n u.



and dun irritate me at night.

cos i m jaded after a day of school

n tuition til before 12.

stay away and i wont piss u off.

it's that easy.

surprised?

now go practise it.

almost forgot to blog this:

was in vc's car..

den this taxi was hesitating

dunno wanna make the u-turn or not

then vc was complaining like mad..

den the taxi driver put up his hand

prob to apologise or something

and she was still grumbling..

so we all have the impression that she's angry rite!

but u know wad she did?!

she put up her hand too!

omg. like she didnt mind.

like. omg! so funny.

dont u think so?? hahaaaaa

complain complain..

then put up the hand!

ultimate.

that's vc for u.

was feelin really lethargic yest.



then met up with paulyn n rae

for lunch at marche! yum.

really cute pair the two of them..

paulyn, really!

funny bickering pple.

den met up with flintston

who was really sweet

to have bought me a surfbabe top!



anyway i was shoppin with paulyn

n realised zara was sellin the same top

i bought from topshop

at a cheaper price.

so irritating, but nvm.



im in financial difficulty.

donate!



met up with kris!

didnt talk too much alone

n i spotted ivy

so three of us were talkin..

then came andrew

and four of us were talkin.

supposed to swim with kris,

den ivy coming too,

then andrew,

then mel too now.

hope i manage to do alot of studying aft that.



i need time.

more time.

please.

did i think i missed u? pui.

did i really think i missed u? pui.

thanks for reminding me why i shouldnt.

i think too much

i think too much when i'm sick.



so forgive me.

anyway i feel shit abt something

and i cant blog abt that something here

so it's double triple shit.

URGH.

anyway.

im sick n tired

of how pple interpret me

and e fact that i dun bother to correct it.

yawn.

u suckers,

look at me the way u wan to.

i repeat.

suckers.

didnt catch that?

.S.U.C.K.E.R.S.

suckers.

sick

i'm sick.



sneezed throughout ts3234 yest.

den felt a heavy head.

no fever

but heavy head.

cancelled tuition

and ate mummy's cooking.

omg. i felt well after that!

but not for long.

i couldnt sleep on my side

cos i'd have one side blocked.

den i woke up with a bad throat.

went to mummy's bed n lay there

whined n whined

to both mummy n bro.

and wad happened?

they had the same reaction!!

each threw me a 50 dollar bill

and said "no money see doctor?"

omg.

i'd get rich if i feigned sick everyday.

but of cos, i didnt wan the money!!

i wanted attention.

grr.

that was my morning.

oh yea.

remembered i bought the campbells soup.

someone gimme a teddy bear?

im drained

im drained.



must be the two weeks.

i need training.

tmr, please come.



i am drained.

so drained from trying to forget.

so drained from not remembering anything.

so drained from getting no response

yet so drained from not doing anything.



so drained from entertaining

so drained from going thru routines



i need a laugh in my life

and im taking it from everywhere.

everywhere thats not right.

wad has come over me?

i'm being someone i'm not.

i wanna get out.

i wanna sleep.

let me.

and let me dream.

i feel so small

i feel so small

like. small.

in a place where i'm not supposed to feel this way.

i'm 20.

and i don't think i'm too childish for 20.

let me into ur world.

please.

i'm scared of being left alone.

let me into ur world.

i cant be who u wan me to be.

i cant be who u wan me to be.

cant u see?



i'm very tired.

i'm really very tired.

i'm not how u wan me to be

and i can't do it.

i really really can't.



i'm always ur disappointment.

always.

when will u be proud of me?

when will u tell me u r?

i need reassurance.

i dont want negative encourgement.

it doesnt work on me.

it really really doesn't.

cant u tell me i'm doing good,

when u think i am?

why do u just tell me wad i've not been doing?

i can't do them all..

i really can't.



i don't want to be strong.

i want to depend on someone.

i don't want to have to do all of this alone.

i'm so sick of swallowing my tears.

i'm so sick of hearing the same things,

over and over again.

u know u'll be the cause,

if wad u've been saying will happen

really happens in future.

refer to vermie's blogs for my updates

(so convenient)



no of cos my life doesn't revolve ard her!

anyways im feelin quite lousy lah.

dunno why i'm feelin this way.



um. so yea.

that bad habit's back with me.

i need to kick it aside.

i dunno how.

someone teach me.



::happy moments::

received the SPONGEBOB HELIUM BALLOON!!

from vermie n vc..

and the super nice laminated dartboard backing!

and the super nice laminated card from them too!

received a strip of yakult from shaun!

yakult yakult!!

received the progs foto from vonne!



::upsetting ones::

stuck between quarrels.

stuck between quarrels.

hazzle (my palmtop) reset--

most of my updated data's lost.

upset someone who's nice to me.

look so fat in recent fotos.



it's that habit.

i gotta do something abt it.



someone help me.

even the one downstairs cant.

i dunno who can.

just.

help me.

my day

yay yay

my day!

i m so happy

i m so happy!!



yay yay feeling damn good now!

wad happened??



::thursday::

lazed in bed til afternoon

then went to school for my lesson at 5pm

n guess wad??

i saw all my baby campers.

saw clarissa n tian yue soon aft i alighted.

ok fine they saw me.

i am blind.

dun force me to repeat thattt!

then they brought to me lt 12(!!)

haha wad a senior.

and i'm not alone! yay.

i'm takin en1101e with the kids!

then went off for tuition.



::friday::

was late meeting miss vc.

SORRY!! i promise to be early next time.

couldnt sleep til quite late the prev nite..

anyways we had to sit all e way to the back

during el 1101 e

and i thought i saw shaun goh at the first row

until i saw him in a different top afterwards.

i'm just blind.

sat thru ge1101e with vc

and saw a cute b****. -drool-.

two rows below us!

den den..

after lect ended,

and i got a nice trip from the super nice n adorable vc

back to central lib,

i saw the cute b**** again!! -drool-

yay. then stayed at swaps table for awhile

with su teck n hanyong

den went for ts!



guess who's my lecturer?

yea my ts tutor in first sem!

he told us not to blog

we could get sued..

so yea no name mentioning here

but he's damn cute n nice n entertaining lah!

and the module's so interesting!!

i'm so looking forward to preparing for my project!

and know wad?

i'm takin all my three ts modules with alvin!

yay alvin! are u reading this?

let's spreche more deutsch!

hahaa i must brush up. u be my teacher!



means..i'm not takin any module alone! yay!



::today::

had a sick morning..

grr.

and the cab driver just had to make me more sick.

like he totally made my motion sickness came back lor

idiot know.

grr.

anyways went yingjie's house to cook!

with vermie n joanna!

yay yay..

na made salad,

yingjie cooked fried rice,

verm n i fried tempura n finger food.

the dragonfruit are so sweet.

im thinkin of them right this moment.

fly here u fruit.



met the others at west coast.

must compliment shaun here

he's damn nice!!

we tried askin him to come down

and he almost did!

nice guy.

will u marry me?

ok fine. dun faint.



i'm quite delirious now. hahaa

anyway so happpyyyy



vonne bought me a bouquet of flowers!!

like gosh!

so sweeeeeeet.

fresh flowers!

they're in the fridge now.

will put them in the oven tmr

and they'll be ready to eat again.

ok not funny.

VONNE! thank you soooooo much.

love them! see ya mondaayyyyy



something i wont forget to blog abt.

vermie n vc!!

grrr

please read the following.



::i am not gullible chapter 1::

vc actually told me that to book the chalet

must walk in --

cannot take car or bus!

must WALK IN!

like gosh.

i was thinking "how'd they know?"

but she was SO CONVINVING lor.

u'd have believed her too

if u had listened to that girl. grr.



::i am not gullible chapter 2::

at the west coast park playground

verm n i saw this obstacle thingy..

two ropes.

then we were wondering how to cross

and verm told me roll over

and it's not my fault.

she was damn convincing too.

and there's no other way!

grr.



ok happy happy day out.

credit to the zai driver su lynn

who gave me a lift back home!

ure a dear too! muack.