It sounds good. But I think I should throw all those plans out of the window. Partly because I don't want to attempt everything and end up accomplishing nothing. And partly because well, I've been asking myself, what's the focus of all this fasting?
I think too often we try to "give up" or "do" things for Lent. We think of what to fast from, and generally we succeed. But then what? Come Easter and we start feasting. We again turn to the things we fasted from and the old habits return. What have we accomplished? Knowledge that we can survive 40 days without ____? That we can be capable of doing ____? A good feeling?
I'm not saying fasting is bad. It's good, and for the most part we do sincerely want it to be good. But is our fasting merely a symbol and an act of self service to feel good that we're "turning away from sin and setting our sights back on God"? Do we set goals with a real intent of following through with them even after Lent ends? I'm starting to feel that these are but a halfhearted attempt in growing our spirituality. Yes, it does bring us closer to God, but has true repentance occurred in our hearts?
I feel quite prompted to say that the real questions we ought to ask ourselves at the start of Lent is: What kind of spiritual habits do I want to form that will bring me closer to God? What kind of habits will make me grow in holiness? What habits do I have that are hindering me in my journey of faith?
Note that the word in question here is 'habits'. We should be forming habits, and habits that will last. This is not an ad-hoc, once-a-year thing. The kind of things we do during Lent should be practices that stay with us for life. If we are to pray more, then we must pray more for the rest of our life. If we are to fast, then we must abstain from overindulgence for the rest of our life. If we want to be a better son/daughter, then we must become a better son/daughter for the rest of our life. And so on. No point being a saint only during Lent, and then a hardened sinner in all other seasons.
There are many things we can do and changes we can make that will aid us in our spiritual journey. Too many to do within one season. Choose the most important one or few, the ones that we can sustain. Cultivate them, practice them, let them become parts of our life. Come next Lent, when we've grown and matured in these areas, move on to the next important few. If we try to tackle everything all at once, we will surely fail. In the words of Thomas A Kempis from the Imitation of Christ:
"Little by little, in patience and long-suffering you will overcome them (temptation), by the help of God rather than by severity and your own rash ways."
It is true that we must learn delayed gratification, but more importantly must we approach delaying our gratifications with much patience. Bit by bit, one step by another, for there is no shortcut.
So here are my spiritual goals; hold me accountable to them:
1.) I want to be a good son to my parents.
2.) I want to be a more prayerful Christian.
These are the habits that I want to start cultivating this Lent, so as to help me achieve my goals:
1.) I will do housework i.e. mopping the floor, doing the dishes etc. 2 days a week.
2.) I will pray the rosary every day.
3.) I will go for daily mass 3 times a week.
Thinking about it, that sounds pretty daunting already. But with God, nothing is impossible.
