DEAR ALL
I HAVE MOVED TO
HTTP://SERENISZY.BLOGSPOT.COM
PLS RE-LINK ME THERE!
MY DARLING'S REQUEST. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!
TA-TA!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I dont like staying at home these days. I just want my room, my privacy, a world of my own.
Am I being too selfish? I have to question myself for I do not want to provoke feelings of others.
Surely, I love my family very much. My mother is everything to me. My dad will do anything for me. My brothers... their presence drove loneliness away (even though I dont talk to Daniel) and my hamsters are my happiness.
But just why do I feel so bothered? Why did I feel like running away from a nice comfortable shelter? Oh god I wish I know. I dont want to be like Fyzl, running away from practically everything in trying to find his own space. Having my own space is nice, but come to think of it, I may get lonely in future.
Dear family, I love you all very much. No matter where I go my heart is with you.
Forgive me for my silence. Forgive me for wanting my own dead world.
In truth, how many actually realise what a turmoil it is inside my heart? Has anyone ever asked why I'm silent? Has anyone ever questioned my sanity, or whether my dark days are truly gone?
I'm one in many crusts, I am complicated yet simple. I wish they could see the boiling lava underneath the dormant dome.
Am I being too selfish? I have to question myself for I do not want to provoke feelings of others.
Surely, I love my family very much. My mother is everything to me. My dad will do anything for me. My brothers... their presence drove loneliness away (even though I dont talk to Daniel) and my hamsters are my happiness.
But just why do I feel so bothered? Why did I feel like running away from a nice comfortable shelter? Oh god I wish I know. I dont want to be like Fyzl, running away from practically everything in trying to find his own space. Having my own space is nice, but come to think of it, I may get lonely in future.
Dear family, I love you all very much. No matter where I go my heart is with you.
Forgive me for my silence. Forgive me for wanting my own dead world.
In truth, how many actually realise what a turmoil it is inside my heart? Has anyone ever asked why I'm silent? Has anyone ever questioned my sanity, or whether my dark days are truly gone?
I'm one in many crusts, I am complicated yet simple. I wish they could see the boiling lava underneath the dormant dome.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Beauty and the Beast - Nightwish
Remember the first dance we shared?
Recall the night you melted my ugliness away?
The night you left with a kiss so kind
Only a scent of beauty left behind
Ah dear friend I remember the night
The moon and the dreams we shared
Your trembling paw in my hand
Dreaming of that northern land
Touching me with a kiss of a beast
I know my dreams are made of you
Of you and only for you
Your ocean pulls me under
Your voice tears me asunder
Love me before the last petal falls
As a world without a glance
Of the ocean's fair expanse
Such the world would be
If no love did flow in thee
But as my heart is occupied
Your love for me now has to die
Forgive me I need more than you can offer me
Didn't you read the tale
Where happily ever after was to kiss a frog?
Don't you know this tale
In which all I ever wanted
I'll never have
For who could ever learn to love a beast?
However cold the wind and rain
I'll be there to ease up your pain
However cruel the mirrors of sin
Remember beauty is found within
...Forever shall the wolf in me desire the sheep in you...
Download here, right-click and SAVE TARGET AS
Recall the night you melted my ugliness away?
The night you left with a kiss so kind
Only a scent of beauty left behind
Ah dear friend I remember the night
The moon and the dreams we shared
Your trembling paw in my hand
Dreaming of that northern land
Touching me with a kiss of a beast
I know my dreams are made of you
Of you and only for you
Your ocean pulls me under
Your voice tears me asunder
Love me before the last petal falls
As a world without a glance
Of the ocean's fair expanse
Such the world would be
If no love did flow in thee
But as my heart is occupied
Your love for me now has to die
Forgive me I need more than you can offer me
Didn't you read the tale
Where happily ever after was to kiss a frog?
Don't you know this tale
In which all I ever wanted
I'll never have
For who could ever learn to love a beast?
However cold the wind and rain
I'll be there to ease up your pain
However cruel the mirrors of sin
Remember beauty is found within
...Forever shall the wolf in me desire the sheep in you...
Download here, right-click and SAVE TARGET AS
Random pics. Haaaaa
He's the one in the middle, so damn bloody CUTE right...
Black Elizabeth
Heee thats me and him... Love him to bits
=)
Last night was nice... Pleasantly sweet.... Had dinner with my sweetheart and then we loitered around my area. We met Shahrien a.k.a. Kurt, then he went home.
I'm getting a bit more generalised on my accounts of my dates with my baby Iszy, I just cant express the happiness and love that I feel inside. Yesterday I gave him a real proper kiss, I havent kissed like that for soooo long... I wanted to be the one to suck on his tongue, but it was vice versa. Hhahaha nevermind. So revenge-time, I gave him a lovebite instead. *Naughty wink*
Just when I thought things were gonna be smooth and steady for us, some forked-tongued lizard came to tell him that I was once with Scifer. Oh shoot. It's OVER lah for goodness sake. I broke off with Ardy because I knew right from the beginning it's gonna be Iszy for me till the end. I LOVE Iszy very very much, I dont like him to be hurt and angry for small petty things like this. Baby if you're reading this, I hope you know how much I care about you.
If ever I knew who that person was, trying to inject poisoned thoughts into Iszy's mind, I'll NEVER forgive him/her. Traitor. Backstabber. Green-eyed goblin. I want to be happy with my beloved hubby, YOU PEOPLE STOP TALKING ABOUT US.
I'm getting a bit more generalised on my accounts of my dates with my baby Iszy, I just cant express the happiness and love that I feel inside. Yesterday I gave him a real proper kiss, I havent kissed like that for soooo long... I wanted to be the one to suck on his tongue, but it was vice versa. Hhahaha nevermind. So revenge-time, I gave him a lovebite instead. *Naughty wink*
Just when I thought things were gonna be smooth and steady for us, some forked-tongued lizard came to tell him that I was once with Scifer. Oh shoot. It's OVER lah for goodness sake. I broke off with Ardy because I knew right from the beginning it's gonna be Iszy for me till the end. I LOVE Iszy very very much, I dont like him to be hurt and angry for small petty things like this. Baby if you're reading this, I hope you know how much I care about you.
If ever I knew who that person was, trying to inject poisoned thoughts into Iszy's mind, I'll NEVER forgive him/her. Traitor. Backstabber. Green-eyed goblin. I want to be happy with my beloved hubby, YOU PEOPLE STOP TALKING ABOUT US.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Yesterday, oh what a day it was. Spent my afternoon with my sweetheart. Had to prepare for my exams, really getting me clammy.
Sigh, moments to relish. I know Iszy really loves me, by the way he covered my head from the rain, by the way he kissed my forehead and neck.. Omygod, I dont know how else I can express all my feelings for him. I keep silent a lot, I dont know how else to describe my emotions...
If it is ever possible, I dont want to let go of his hand. I just want to be with him for as long as I breathe. When did I ever feel like this towards anyone before? I miss him so much.
And when have I ever ranted on and on about how much I love a person? I've become a slightly changed person, haven't I? Dear God, strange obsession... I cant stop thinking of him!!
"Ima sugu ai tai yo" - I want to see you right now
Was it coincidental, that we met yesterday at the same train door?
Sigh, moments to relish. I know Iszy really loves me, by the way he covered my head from the rain, by the way he kissed my forehead and neck.. Omygod, I dont know how else I can express all my feelings for him. I keep silent a lot, I dont know how else to describe my emotions...
If it is ever possible, I dont want to let go of his hand. I just want to be with him for as long as I breathe. When did I ever feel like this towards anyone before? I miss him so much.
And when have I ever ranted on and on about how much I love a person? I've become a slightly changed person, haven't I? Dear God, strange obsession... I cant stop thinking of him!!
"Ima sugu ai tai yo" - I want to see you right now
Was it coincidental, that we met yesterday at the same train door?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I smile as I type this, I only have my darling Iszy on my mind.
Strange, isnt it? I forced myself that my subconscious was a lie, I wont ever be his girlfriend, I wont ever fall for him.
But this is my destiny, I wish for nothing more than to be with him thru eternity.
Seems like it was only yesterday we were still very rough with each other. I still reminisce times when we had been extremely impolite, how I loved him like a brother I never had. How I could always find comfort in talking to him, how he'd always be there when I felt down.
And all those whiles, I never expected him to harbour feelings for me.
The sweetest thing he said to me was on 12th November 2008, 9.56pm: "if i cant hav u thn its alright".
I couldnt sleep for nights. I was wondering if he was just pulling my leg, making fun of me as usual... But no, he's real... Is he not? How else could I find that person who'd understand me so well... Who'd make me happy at any time of my life without even trying...
I am still trying to recover from the shock that I've fallen hard for Iszy, after all, all those times I've told myself I never wanted another relationship. Relationships hurt, I dont wanna be torn apart ever again!!! I trust Iszy with all I ever have, I'm not afraid when I'm with him. Somehow I feel very safe, a strange connection I've never felt with my other ex-boyfriends.... What is this feeling?
Last Friday was Mama's birthday, Zy and I took my ma out to her favourite kopitiam in Redhill (like as though anywhere around here doesnt have Mee Bakso). I WAS EXTREMELY SLEEPY in the bus, okay! I had to keep myself awake because Iszy didnt wanna sleep too. Darish was complaining of boredom. LOL
After that I went off with Iszy.. heeee finally we took a pic together, what the fuck, after 2 weeks? Whoa!! But better than nothing, right? I love my Iszy very very much. Last night he told me I'm his girl, I couldnt felt any more proud than I did yesterday. I'm going to be his future wife, oh god, the seriousness of it is grave. I'm gonna start saving up. I wont let my moment go. Not ever.
But sometimes.... I wish I'm a bit taller than I am now, so when I stand beside Iszy I can reach to kiss his lips.
Strange, isnt it? I forced myself that my subconscious was a lie, I wont ever be his girlfriend, I wont ever fall for him.
But this is my destiny, I wish for nothing more than to be with him thru eternity.
Seems like it was only yesterday we were still very rough with each other. I still reminisce times when we had been extremely impolite, how I loved him like a brother I never had. How I could always find comfort in talking to him, how he'd always be there when I felt down.
And all those whiles, I never expected him to harbour feelings for me.
The sweetest thing he said to me was on 12th November 2008, 9.56pm: "if i cant hav u thn its alright".
I couldnt sleep for nights. I was wondering if he was just pulling my leg, making fun of me as usual... But no, he's real... Is he not? How else could I find that person who'd understand me so well... Who'd make me happy at any time of my life without even trying...
I am still trying to recover from the shock that I've fallen hard for Iszy, after all, all those times I've told myself I never wanted another relationship. Relationships hurt, I dont wanna be torn apart ever again!!! I trust Iszy with all I ever have, I'm not afraid when I'm with him. Somehow I feel very safe, a strange connection I've never felt with my other ex-boyfriends.... What is this feeling?
Last Friday was Mama's birthday, Zy and I took my ma out to her favourite kopitiam in Redhill (like as though anywhere around here doesnt have Mee Bakso). I WAS EXTREMELY SLEEPY in the bus, okay! I had to keep myself awake because Iszy didnt wanna sleep too. Darish was complaining of boredom. LOL
After that I went off with Iszy.. heeee finally we took a pic together, what the fuck, after 2 weeks? Whoa!! But better than nothing, right? I love my Iszy very very much. Last night he told me I'm his girl, I couldnt felt any more proud than I did yesterday. I'm going to be his future wife, oh god, the seriousness of it is grave. I'm gonna start saving up. I wont let my moment go. Not ever.
But sometimes.... I wish I'm a bit taller than I am now, so when I stand beside Iszy I can reach to kiss his lips.
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