A moment of stillness

So, I've been wanting family pictures for a long time now, and finally persuaded (bribed? cajoled? threatened?) Dan into going along with me. After being blown away by my cousin's family pictures, and finding out that their photographer was conveniently in Utah (they live in Texas), I contacted her. We had our photography session yesterday at Wheeler Farm in Salt Lake. We couldn't convince Andrew to stand still for anything, but the photographer, who has an almost-three-year-old herself, was really understanding. And she even managed to catch a picture or two. We're still waiting to see the final proofs, but you can get a bit of a teaser on her blog, here.

last, but not least

I forgot one major item of news from last week (well, major for Evelyn, anyway). She is finally getting teeth! One has broken through the bottom gum, and its neighbor is on its way. Good for her, maybe not so good for me. We'll see. At any rate, she's no longer our sweet little toothless baby. :)

We are the friendly face . . .

. . . of the love of letters . . .

And for those of you who don't know the reference (I'm guessing the vast majority of you), this comes from our Writing Fellows theme song, written a few years ago by a talented undergraduate student with clearly too much time on his hands. I include this as our title because a) I can't think of anything better and b) this song is still running through my head from our Winter retreat yesterday.

We don't have much to report of the week itself, but our Saturday was unusually busy. I, as mentioned, spent the morning on campus for our Winter retreat. We pretty much took over the Maeser building and spent the day alternating between workshops focused on strategies to improve our "fellowing" (Writing Fellow speak for tutoring--although I have to admit that it sounds friendlier to me than "tutoring") and activities designed to improve camaraderie among the students. Our theme (admittedly, only loosely enforced) was "Survivor: Writing Fellows," which gave us the excuse to pose challenges for the students like limerick writing, and a charades activity that somehow involved students running up three flights of stairs in the Maeser building. Needless to say, I think everyone had a lot of fun. The limericks were especially funny: the winning limerick won largely because one of its' authors wasn't afraid to use her best rap imitation to perform the poem. The only one I really remember was the one my group put together (and what you have to know about this is that at least half of the poems were about the cookie jar in the WF office--it's become a firm tradition):

There once was a cookie jar full
But by the day's end it was null
When students came by
They said with a sigh,
"Alas! It goes hungry my soul!"

For me, the retreat was at times profound and poignant--that the retreat happened was largely due to the dedication of my office staff and other students who pitched in to teach the workshops and help set up and clean up. If nothing else, my brief tenure as coordinator has taught me the value of delegating things (since I simply can't--in the time I have--take care of everything that needs to be done). It's also taught me that many people will perform up to expectations--I've asked a lot of these students at times and they have always met my expectations. Granted, that may be because this group of students is a pretty extraordinary one--some of the best BYU has to offer, I'm convinced. They are, with very few exceptions, dedicated students who joined Writing Fellows because they felt they had something valuable to offer the campus community--and who come away from the program realizing not only the joy of helping other writers, but how--not coincidentally--their own writing skills have improved tremendously through that service to others. (As you might be able to tell, I'm pretty fond--and proud--of these students. I keep telling Dan that I wish I could take this job with me, largely because of how much I value this interaction with these students).

While I was on campus, Dan took Andrew up to Salt Lake to play with his cousins. And play they did--they went to the park and fed ducks (and Andrew apparently ended up covered in what Dan euphemistically refers to as "duck butter"--his decorated pants are also apparently hiding in the laundry somewhere, and I'm not very excited about unearthing them!) and had a picnic; they also went to the zoo to wring the last bit of use out of our yearly pass before it expires. I'm not sure how much Dan enjoyed himself, but Andrew apparently had a splendid time. (No pictures, unfortunately!)

And where, you may ask, was Evelyn in all this excitement? She got to spend the morning with Grandma. After her nap, Grandma took her to a baby shower where she was apparently "oohed" and "aahed" over by the assembled matrons and passed from lap to lap to lap. Evelyn really is a charming baby who doesn't fuss much--but she *does* like to be held.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

That's pretty much what Andrew is, except he's already starting to pick up on our most frequently spelled words! Last night, after dinner, Andrew announced that it was time for a B-A-T-H. And spelled it out for us. So I asked him what M-I-L-K was, and he promptly responded, "milk." So much for thinking we had him fooled! At least, these appear to be his only spelling acquisitions, but watch out literacy, here he comes!

And speaking of trouble, last night Andrew got in trouble for jumping on the bed, which he's not supposed to do (this was only the latest in a long string of things Andrew got in trouble for yesterday). So Dan put him in time out, where he cried (and his unfeeling mother laughed from the safety of the rocking chair where she was feeding Evelyn). When he got out of the chair before time was up, he got in even more trouble, including a threat for more time out. Sobbing, he explained that he couldn't do more time out, because then he wouldn't be able to go to sleep, and if he didn't sleep, he'd be cranky! (Turns out he *does* listen to us--just not when we want him to!)

To Evelyn, aged Nine Months

I watch my daughter, white and gold just now and drooling,
And marvel at the discreteness of her,
Of the rounded line of belly that starts and ends with her.

There was a time when I could not separate
The line of her from me.
The swelling of my belly was at once both the same.

Now she beams at me, a nearly toothless mouth ajar,
And scoots closer, reaching, as if closeness could compensate for separation.
Our bridge of arms embracing exists across a gulf
(A bridge both evidence and access point);
Our separate sight mute witness to maternal division,
Immutably dividing one into two.

I watch her growing,
Watch thoughts, not mine, starting opaque behind dark eyes,
Watch intentions unfolding in chubby hands reaching for other tasks,
And with feelings shaded proud and bittersweet,
I marvel at the discreteness of her.



(NB: It's funny to me, not ever having been much for love poetry for myself, that I now find myself inspired to write what amounts to a love poem to my daughter.)

birthdays and bargains

Since we've already broken with protocol once today (Andrew didn't get to bed until nearly 9pm--his usual Sunday bedtime, when he goes without a nap, is between 6:30-7), we may as well post a backwards report of our week as well. (This way, when I run out of memory for the week--which will probably be around Thursday--I can just stop).

Tonight, we went to Mike and Melissa's (Dan's cousin and his wife) for their daughter Audrey's first birthday. Although Audrey was ostensibly the center of attention for the evening, she didn't seem terribly excited about the festivities: as you can see from the picture below, when the cake was placed in front of her, she cried. It wasn't until Melissa put some frosting in her mouth that she stopped crying and started to enjoy the cake. Sugar will do that for you.

Not that she got to enjoy the cake for very long; it didn't take Andrew and Bella long to figure out that no one was going to protest much if *they* snitched bits of Audrey's cake. Between the two of them, they managed to eat most of the frosting off the outside of the cake, and a fair amount of the cake, too. They were a pretty funny pair--they'd run into the kitchen, bite some cake, and then run out of the room giggling, only to commence the process once again. I think it was a combination of the sugar and excess energy that kept him up until we got home--I was sure the drive on the freeway would lull him to sleep, but no such luck.


And of course, the requisite church pictures. Andrew picked out his own outfit today, saying that he wanted to wear the tie with the straps. In this picture, he was complaining that HE wanted to take the picture.

So I set up the camera for him and let him push the button. This is what we got. Not too bad for a pair of amateurs!

Andrew wanted to have his picture taken holding Evelyn, although of course now she's fully half his size. And of course, although I got some cute pictures of each of them individually (I finally got one of Evelyn smiling!), they were never in unison, so you get duplicates.



Since today was the third Sunday, I taught Relief Society again. I really do like teaching, although it seems just a little unfair to me that I get so much more out of the lesson than those who have to listen to me. (I think I've uncovered one of the secrets to great teaching: if you ask good questions, then your class will basically teach the lesson for you, and you, as teacher, get credit for all the great insights that other people volunteered). I was a little humbled, however, when one of the sisters drew me aside before the lesson started and told me how a comment I had made last month (a comment only incidentally related to the lesson and made somewhat in passing) had been an answer to a very real concern of hers. It's a good thing that the Lord can do good work with flawed vessels--that I was an answer to her prayer was more due to her faithfulness than any great spiritual insight of mine.

As for the rest of the week, mostly my impressions of this week are that it was long and busy. We spent last weekend in Cedar City (thus the lack of post) and on Monday we went house hunting. We only looked at four houses--we were going to check out another one, but the weather intervened: it was snowing so badly that you couldn't even see the street lights until you were almost in the intersection. It was fun to look at these houses and imagine ourselves as prospective owners, and I was surprised by how nice of a house we can actually afford--not necessarily large, but nice. In our discussions afterward I was somewhat amused by Dan and my differing standards on what we wanted in a house: Dan's initial criteria was simple--price. My view was a little more long-term: I'd like a house with at least a little room to grow in, even if that means paying a little more. Luckily for us, it really is a buyer's market right now, so we don't have to be in a big hurry to make an offer. With any luck, we'll be able to carve out some time again next month for a similar trip--we'll keep you posted on how it goes!

On Tuesday, I took both Evelyn and Andrew to the doctor. Since they have separate doctors (long story--Evelyn's doctor is one of the pediatricians that saw her in the NICU), this was a little more of an ordeal than it sounds like. Andrew's illness was viral, with nothing to do but wait it out, but Evelyn was diagnosed with an ear infection (this explains her horrible sleeping habits for the week preceding it!) and given a prescription for antibiotics. I think her infection must have been pretty bad, because this is the first time she's been given a prescription, although she's had several ear infections, and because she started sleeping better within 24 hours of starting the antibiotics. Thank goodness for modern medicine. Dan was sick too, but being the stoic that he is, he soldiered on without seeing a doctor.

Wednesday was quiet, of course, because we all stayed home. That night, in a mild fit of cabin fever, I went to Gymboree with my mom to check out the advertised President's Day sales--only to discover that they were having a serious sale to clear out accumulated merchandise. This meant that we got some incredible deals, like $5 coats (seriously! The nice kind with the removable fleece jackets inside) and some baby girl black patent shoes for approximately $1.50. I know I talk a lot about shopping on this blog, but for bargain hunters like us, it's hard to beat buying new clothes at garage sale prices. (The only downside, of course, was that we had to go back a couple of times because they kept bringing new items out of the back at the clearance rates. I know, I know, we're pathetic). And of course, I couldn't keep such largesse to myself--I had to get a couple of things for Sarah's kids (my mom has all of the Collings' cousins covered) and I even got some black church shoes for Leo.

Okay. I realize I was waxing somewhat rhapsodic there, so it's time to move on. Thursday I taught class and met with students (I've been holding individual conferences with students on their papers and wish that I had been more invested in conferences when I taught other composition classes--I think the students have found it more helpful than most of the lectures we've had). And Andrew, with that peculiar child's instinct of saying the one thing that will hit you directly, kept protesting before I left, "Mommy, I don't want you to go teach your class! I want you to stay here." When I tried to explain about my contract--i.e. that I had promised to teach this semester--he remained unmoved. I tried to emphasize the importance of doing what you say you will do, to which Andrew responded, "I don't want to do what I said. I just want to do what I want to do." And finally, when I tried to explain the importance of a promise, Andrew said, "Mommy, I promise I will miss you!" (For the record, my son is NOT neglected--he has a doting grandmother to watch him for those few hours a week when I'm not there, and he spends half of that time napping anyway; he's just peculiarly gifted in knowing how to push my buttons!)

Friday evening we had a family movie night again: Dan tried to introduce us to the wonders of Annie, but both Andrew and I got bored and distracted half-way through. Evelyn, of course, was just charmed to be hanging out with some of the people she likes best.

Happy Valentines Day!

Or, as Andrew just informed us, "I LOVE Valentines Day." (Dan had just made him a heart-shaped pancake.) "Valentines Day is my favorite Valentines Day Day."

Before I forget

We took Evelyn in for her nine-month appointment this week. The doctors pronounced her a healthy little girl. And so, of course, we wanted to record her stats (probably no one cares about these but us, but since this blog also doubles as our family journal, here they are). She weighed in at just shy of 20 lbs (19.13) and was 28.5 inches long (although the nurse initially entered 18.5 inches into the computer which, as it was shorter than she was when she was born, led to printouts suggesting that our poor baby was more than unusually fat). Her head circumference, in true Collings fashion, was 18.5 inches, or in the 99.2th percentile. Since the rest of her hovers around the 75-80th percentile, this means she has one bonefide big head. Aside from her abysmal sleeping at night, she really is a charming baby. We'll keep her. (Although we may--to my dismay--be up to sleep training her again next week, at our pediatrician's suggestion. Waking up 4 times (or more!) between 8-6 is unexceptable in a 9 month old! She surely doesn't need to eat every two hours at night, not at her weight!)

seasons of quiet

Dan seems to have caught some kind of bug--unlike his usual recreation in the evening, he was fading even as I put Andrew to bed and has been sound asleep for the past two hours. It's strange how quiet--and how lonely--our basement apartment seems when my husband and my children are all sleeping while I read through student papers. Paradoxically, although my mind is filled with the clamoring voices of my students and I can hear Dan's steady breathing in the background, what I really hear is a kind of stretching silence. It makes me profoundly glad that this silence is an aberrance, not the norm, for our household.

Cross-country

visited 34 states (68%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or try another Douwe Osinga project

If you count airports, I've been to even more states. But at least I can definitely say I've driven from coast to coast (quite literally!).

Miscellany

Since I was never much of a sports fan, I'm taking this "precious" Super Bowl time to catch up on our week's blogging. It seems, strangely, that we have momentous things to report, and yet, not so much.

Our biggest news for the week is that on Monday Dan signed and sealed his life away. Er, I mean, he signed the contract to start teaching at SUU this fall. I know he's excited--he's been scouting out houses online--and I'm slowly warming to the idea of being homeowners. More than that, I'm starting to realize some of the benefits of not working--I'll be able to get back into some of those hobbies that I haven't had time for in the last seven or eight years of school (chief among them, painting and drawing). I'm sure Andrew would be more than happy to help me paint (!).

This past week, I also did something that I haven't done for an embarassingly long time (not since I found out I was expecting Evelyn): I went running. Twice. Not surprisingly, I was pretty out of shape. I did manage to run at least one mile consecutively both times (small change, for some of you, I know), but considering it's been at least a year and a half, I was pretty pleased with myself. Of course, now I'm sore in places that I'd forgotten existed. But I do think this is something I'd like to try again.

Saturday was, as usual, our busiest day. Andrew and Evelyn had swim lessons and then we headed up to Salt Lake to spend the afternoon with Sarah and gang (mostly as a sop to Andrew who had hoped all week to go visit his Bubby and Poppy--he was fully packed by Tuesday morning--and was crushed when he found out we weren't going). Our plan wasn't quite as carefully thought out as it could have been--after negotiating traffic to get to the Gateway mall in downtown SLC (and giving Sarah and Aaron false directions), we met up for lunch at the food court. Then, the plan was to go iceskating--the rink was only a few blocks away, but this meant once again negotiating downtown traffic and paying an even more exhorbitant rate for parking. Apparently, the iceskating was a good time for almost all--Sarah sat out because of recent injuries, and Dan retired early because of incipient blisters. I say "apparently," because I missed all the festivities. Evelyn had fallen asleep in the car and I opted to stay with her till she woke up (figuring it wouldn't be too long)--only to have Dan and Andrew return just as she woke up. We stopped at IKEA on the way home to get Andrew his own little duvet and cover, so he would stop pulling ours off the bed and pretending they were sleeping bags. We'll see if our plot works.

Other than that, this week was pretty quiet. It was too cold outside to do much by way of outdoor play, but we were also too poor (long story--suffice it to say getting paid Christmas Eve turned out to be not such a good thing) to go anywhere besides the grocery store lest we spend money. So we stayed home and drew pictures and read stories and watched Diego. It was actually pretty nice. I keep trying to interest Andrew in his letters, but aside from his initial enthusiasm for any new task, he tends to lose interest quickly. On occasion he can draw something resembling an "A," but I'm not quite sure whether that's by design or by luck.

Evelyn is making slow progress towards crawling. It seems that my assessment in last week's post may have been mistaken--sometimes, when she lunges far enough forward, she comes perilously close to rocking on her hands and knees, and we all know crawling comes after that. I suppose that means I really should clean and vacuum the floor again. It's not that I like having a messy, toy-strewn floor--it's just that Andrew makes it a mess so much faster than I can clean that sometimes it seems a waste to try.

We've started a new family tradition of Friday night movie nights before bed. Mostly Andrew picks and watches the movie, Dan and I sort of watch with him and talk to each other and watch Evelyn play on the floor. Here Andrew is thoroughly engrossed in Disney's animated "The Three Musketeers."


Andrew has also been sporting some interesting hairstyles this week--a sure sign that he needs another hair cut! Dan calls this a "Junior Flock of Seagulls." (Some of you may recognize the 80s hair band reference--I didn't.)


And this, my friends, is what happens when we let Andrew comb his own hair for church. I initially thought Dan had done it as a joke, but no, this was all Andrew.